Brad Williams Doesn't Want Your Pity So Keep It!

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Thank you for listening to this. Podcast one production available on apple podcasts. And podcast one curb appeal. You know when you see it and with the home depot. Today's the day for doing boost. Your curb appeal the best brands at the best prices from new garage. Doors colorful flowers exterior lights to a new coat of paint inspiration to installation. You can do it or let the home depot do it for you visit homedepot dot com slash services for more information on installing your next project film depot more saving more doing. Us only see store for details. Podcast one percents. Let lisa help former insult. Comic lisa lamp is now a full fledged life coach. And she wants to help you whether you like it or not. Join the former queen of me as she continues her journey as the queen of meaning. She'll share her life experiences the tool. She's learned along the way and a healthy dose of humor. So if you have a problem let me help and now. Here's your host. Lisa lamp me. Hey everybody it is. Easily bonelli. Formerly the queen of me now the queen of meaning. Welcome to let lisa alp. Guess what today. I have been tastic interview with my good friend. Hilarious comedian brad williams. Brad weighs one hundred twenty pounds. Not because he's the anorexic but because he is in his words a dwarf a midget a little person. Brad tells us why he doesn't care what you call them. As long as he's making money he also talks about his great outlook on life his good-naturedness not holding onto the past. And just be grateful. Guy in general plus he has a happy marriage and god knows we could all use tips on that. Here's my interview with brad williams. You're listening to let lisa help with lisa lamp nelly. Hey everybody. It's lisa lamp. Bonelli the former queen of me now. The queen of meaning with my podcast. Let lisa help the podcast. Where i force help upon you whether you want it or not and also i help my guest in studio to just be themselves and be who they are because he s particularly now is perfect physically emotionally and mentally perfect so there is nothing to change about. Mr brad williams. How are you. i love that. You're forcing help on your help. Raping i am. I am this helper but can you help rate the question. It's so funny that they told me right before we started recording that you guys are trying to get some great sponsors not to curse and my opening thing is help rape you know what. I'm sure i can put it as you say a mattress sponsor right there on mattress bonds. John natural male enhancement saying companies in specific. But come on enjoy me. Sure every guy out probably be within. The future needs male enhancement. Yeah i mean come on. I'm fifty seven. Who am i going to bang the younger than that. I'd be honored. i'd be honored. My wife would not care. Always ninety would probably encourage it. See no brand. You are the kind of person. I completely probably misjudge you in a way because you to me are terrific. You think to myself all the time. Brad williams is an icon. Because he probably doesn't have a care in the world. Because of that. How i look at you. I probably you probably have just as many issues as anybody else. But you're so genuinely fun and nice and cool then. I'm like oh discredit any struggles. Like do you ever struggle with her. But i i also subscribe to the like even if you're going through some stuff which we are all going through some stuff. What are the some greater. Some less whatever i subscribe to the you can kind of trick yourself into being happy. Yeah you can. You can put a smile on your face. You can say nice things like oh. I'll walk around my house constantly. Like wow got great house. This is fantastic out. Live a dog. Your what's your name again. Yego seventy pounds now. Do you weigh less than your dot. Well man way one twenty one twenty two now. the reason. If you don't do brad is and why would way so little is actually the proper name for it is now oh god. Blessed workers them little people. Wow that is really a long word for short stature. Dwarfism major. Yeah the one. The one that is not just politically correct. But what people who are dwarfs enjoy being called the least offensive term is little person. Yeah if you can call us little people that's good but then i'm weird. I don't like it for me. Like what are you like better. I like mejia midget anymore. And that's what i grew up with. No it relates like a blast for your past. You know it's like it's like folger's coffee shirts not great but you grew up with it. Point unless folger's sponsor in in which is lovely maxwell sucks but but yeah so you don't take a big offense at these terminology to to me. It's all about intent because if someone's driving a pickup truck and rolls down the window and says you person shorts still scary to me. You know what i mean. It's still bad for me. It's all about intent. So i have a friend who is transgender. And z. nashi. The oh is the thing now. Z. yeah in instead of he or she is z. I'm gonna start using the but it's either z. Or their name. Which in this case is mardi. But i'm not giving our last name so it's fine so Marney born a woman But now has transitioned into something in the middle right but What marnie always tells me is if you make a mistake with a pronoun or name. It's fine because i know that you care about me. And i know that you're not trying to hurt me and i think that's a healthy attitude for people to have if someone says a term that's not to your liking like. Oh you're a you're a janitor. I'm a. I'm a domestic cleaner of 'cause alarms. Janitors like right. It's not now. I feel like there's all these people that are asked over titles and names and words and phrases and this defensive. This is not this and it's just like let's just go intention. Let's go with the intention if the person is trying to hurt you. Yes what they're saying is incredibly offensive if you tell them what you wanna be called and they still are doubling down but in a hurtful way yes that's but if they're generally try if the right ryan right to be nice your friend and be good then maybe pump. The brakes a little bit on. And that's what. I try to do with midget i. I don't mind the word. Dwarf little person midget. I'm fine with it as long as you're a good human we have a good relationship and the comic. Have you ever know we all as comics. I used to draw you. Walk a really fine line. You know somebody said about my comedy. She's juggling knives. And even the handles are sharp hard line. You as someone who i mean. You're hilarious. you'd literally. I don't see any comics dude. I could care less but you every time you're near. Oh we're going. I'm so honored by the. I can't even with you. You're so funny thank you. Do you ever hear from people saying while something you said. Hurt not in my standard back. Where where do you hurt people in. Because i don't know if you've had this. I've felt a lot a lot of comics. This a lot of comics when we're talking to non-canadians or civilians whatever you want us for that word we don't turn the comedian part of us off when we're hanging out at the comedy store or the seller or wherever and we're just talking with other comedians. We're saying the worst possible things to each other right and using the most legally incorrect language in going for the messed up jokes so that everyone is gonna laugh but then we have to turn that off around people that aren't used to that kind of language That is where i need to improve. That's where i've always needed to improve for instance of my wife. And i do not have a safe word for sex. We have a safe word for. Hey brad no stop talking right now. Whatever topic you're on. She says the word cephalopod. And then i saw. I'm writing that down because that's good. That's your favorite work thing. Yeah it's a type of mollusc get crazy in the perfect way. Yes the perfect way. And so when she says that i go. Okay to switch topics right now. I need to not push this any further and you do have respect for that. How difficult is that to stop that discussion in. Its tracks sometimes very hard because sometimes i feel like on a role sometimes. I'm making a point. I've just made the best joke ever. That's about to go into my act. And then i hear that word. I'm like you have to respect. I think because that's the purpose of a word a safe word that it's supposed to do that the same way a safe where will be used for sex if if someone says if you're safe what is barney rubble or whatever and you say barney robin go yeah. I could probably choke them a little harder. No word was said you have to stop hold back so yeah and to her credit i have used. I have used the safe word as well When when talking about certain topics certain issues. But i think that's a good thing and a healthy thing that we've kind of stumbled upon and our relationship is a safe word for sex. Say for for conversation where we go. Hey not comfortable this conversation anymore. Or i need to take a break or i need to like gather myself when we come back and then come back to it and when everybody's take down a notch. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah and it also helps when we're out in public and i'm around other people civilians or maybe my wife's friends and start making jokes and i don't see that they're uncomfortable. She's like reading. There is and she's known them forever so she's like oh god and then she squeeze my wrist shovel and i'm like oh okay. I'll back off no with your wife you how long ago you may. You meant Four years ago for four years ago. And you're married you're okay. So do you legitimately feel like this is the first relationship you've had that you feel like a real team. Yeah this is a yeah because this is a really evolved relationship when you can have a freaking word to say. Hey i respect you enough to stop talking about right now. And it's a team in that. We have very defined roles in terms of what we are in charge of. What we do. Is your cookie maker. oh the rainbow con relationships. The rainbow curator. No you know my my job is mostly to bring home the bacon. Yeah the that's my job. And then her job is you know. She runs the house right. And that's fine. And but sometimes i feel bad because she's got a degree in child psychology. Right she she. She's been a behavioral therapist. She should be out helping people she has gary in the words of liam neeson particular set of right. I feel like sometimes. I'm denying her of that but she's happy with she's like oh no i liked be home. It's good. I've always had like when i say. She's a behavioral therapist for those who don't know what that is that i mean. She would work with autistic children and run programs with them and try to get them more like just they. They have routines they can function in in the normal world or they can gain their independence slowly but surely and she would do that but at the same time she like. That's a really hard job. Sometimes sometimes with autistic people south sometimes she would be hit sometimes she would be yelled at talked to and sometimes the parents of the kids who are some of the worst sometimes because they want their child to be cured inside your kids autistic. You're not be cured me. You know so. She will deal with that and she. She would come home some days when she was working in. Just be she would need a moment like she have to come in and be like. I'm going to go to the room. I'm gonna have a little sip scotch and then come out be a good wife right but yes so. She's happy she. She's happy that she gets to do that. And so eight domestic goddess that she is so you guys had sort of had this discussion and said look. This is what's gonna make us happiest. Let's do it like this. Also because of for as much as a therapist does to enrich the world in enlightened better. It doesn't pay that. Yes the sad thing. Resing is l. When you're like you're doing so much like she should make way more money than me right right but when i could say like hey i'm and this is just a fact. I'm not saying this next statement to be a dick is just the fact but when i can make your yearly salary and a weekend absolutely that's like why are you going through all this stress every three or four days a week to come home and you're gone and we don't see each other as much and i'm already gone so much doing my job that i'm home. It'd be nice to have you more available like it. Just didn't make any logistical sense. Right now right if she wants to go back and do that or or be a substitute teacher or a or a special circumstance teacher. Then that's great. I would support that but for right now is we're getting sort of our domestic lives together in place that it's the rule the roles that have worked out for us. See dan. yeah every couple have their own rules you know and that rolls the you hold are you. Are you in your thirties. Five thirty which is like seventy two into our very what i'll i'll guy. He is very good. You know do you ever okay. I'll watch your post on instagram. And i love them always from some foreign country. And i'm like oh my god. This guy travel so much. You always look like you're having fun but not in that way of look. Everyone i'm having fun. Yes loo- looks legitimately real. How would you say it's hundred percent. How your life really is i. Try not to post anything. Like where am not genuinely excited or also. I was told this when i started comedy. And and this goes against the teachings of hannah gatsby. But i was always taught. Hey you're comedian job. He's to make people smile and laugh. Right is your job. Might so dance monkey. You know what i mean like. That's what we're that that's our job and that's what we are supposed to do There's been many times when when i've wanted to go on social media and expressing anger right over a political thing or a personal thing or whatever and i go That's not what people are not following me for that reason. They're calling me happiness right. I'm their escape. So i don't i don't want someone to be following me. It'd be like man. My life is really hard. But brad williams always makes me laugh and now i'm making them cry or making themselves like. I don't wanna do that to people. So yes whenever. I post something. It is genuine for that post but yeah. We're the the times. When i'm said i'm not going to like you'll never seen any post a photo of me at a relative's funeral next to the coffee. Get me wrong if that's what you need to do to get better okay. Whatever bread. that's not me that's not me. That's what i was going to ask to. Which because they do. Maybe that's why. I asked you that. Because i feel like they're really genuine and a lot of postseason forced from other people and like i really that happy but i really get that you are so i have a question. Do you feel sometimes like do you ever get out of bed and you're just kind of not feeling funny that day and you're just like you know what. I'm not really happy today. Yeah there's there's the seventy pound pit bull diego He wakes us up at seven thirty every morning because he wants to be fed and he wants to go on his walk. And it doesn't like if i was out till two. Am three md and sets in booze and the night before care right. He's up at that time. I have to get up. And yes sometimes in those scenarios. I i need to really like i kind of have to. I'm not in a good mood. And i'm not gonna hosting thing and i'm right and when that happens. The good part is is whether it be stand up nights. I don't wanna do standup or whether it be nice. I don't wanna get up when i get up on stage. Tell jokes when. I get up and walk my dog. It's good like. I'm usually always happy when i walk my dog and while you won't gets eight o'clock in the morning i've gotten three hours sleep. I don't wanna do this. And i walked the dog house. Great yeah this is awesome. I love walking the dog and you get to walk get some endorphins going or whether it's the late show on a saturday and i've already done five and i'm just like i'm done and then i do the late show and i go. Oh yeah this is fun. So it's basically taking action makes everything better. Yeah i mean it sounds cheesy but although sayings with the long journeys begin the single staff or an object in motion to stay in motion. It's true once you start doing it. And you'll get a little momentum going and the hardest part is to get moving at once you do. Then it's sort of hard to stop moving if you just of us kind of get into the flow of days. 'cause i always tell myself when i wake up to take the dog for a walk and i've had three hours sleep. I go okay. Tiktok for walk. He'll take us dump. I'll go back. i'll go back to bed. i. I never never do right ever do. I'm always up now. Things are going to come you me and now i'm good so it's it's weird but yes sometimes i do you know wake of. I'm not happy but it's interesting now. I almost feel like there's pressure because special last few days there there. There's been multiple. That have told me like brad. You're always you're always happy. You're all you're always in a good mood and i go. Oh wow is that like. I think it's good is it. I mean it's great. Let's the opposite of that. But like now i'm feeling like wait. Do i have to always be that person. Now who's always in a good mood right. What do you think i feel like. There are certain people My wife family certain friends that will see me in a bad mood. Sometimes we'll see how upset yup but there's other people. I just don't want to the the the best advice i ever got. This is the vice. Is going to sound morbid as okay. Oh okay great. Sorry hell but i'll explain it. Sure the best advice. I ever got with an improv comedy class. Where someone told me whether it be an improv on life just remember one thing nobody cares about you and that sounds horrific. Let me explain what that means is like it was meant to be an improper teaching. Where when you're so your head like oh my god. I didn't see that line writer. That line wasn't funny. Or i should have said something. Here are moving in the wrong place. The not care they do not care. They are so amazed at your up there without a script without any sort of that. You're they're amazed and they're putting themselves in your position and they're like i would not be able to do that. They did not notice your flub and that's true in life for life as well when people say like. Oh my god. If i wear these shoes these people are going to judge me because they're not the right shoes and everyone's a nobody cares. Nobody right. they don't care. Oh my god. I if i you know i. I can't go to the same restaurant twice a week so horrible nobody cares. She's i've been to the same chilies twice a day. So there you go for high all done that gig in des moines. But yeah i. It's it's something where I try to remember that is that yes. Obviously people do care about you your your your true friends your family your your significant other. They will care about you. They will move heaven and earth. And if you're ever going through a problem please please please reach out to them because they will help you. What nobody cares about you is supposed to me is just these little things in life that we all get hung up on and and we live in los angeles relief. I live in los angeles where images everything in this town. They're all worried about them up. And what you know. It's interesting the people who say brad. You're always in a good mood. I would venture to say those are probably people who and this would happen. This happened a lot. After i lost the weight over weight. People would be like you look so much better when you were fat and if you didn't they want us stay sick for them just so it's almost like the people who probably say that you are the ones who kind of are in a bad mood and wanted to know your secret but don't want to have the balls and the guts to say brad. How do i get as happy as you well. And and it's that little bit of schadenfreude where we always. We like seeing people fail. We like this whole laurie laughlin. Yeah felicity huffman. Usc thing yeah in my personal opinion Sure they they were cheating the system but this is something that's been happening since the dawn of time which people do things to give their kids advantage and the there these are done at a micro level as well when when the when the father who's the baker leaves the bakery to his son with the sudden earned. That big right right right right. He gets it because everyone does it. They've or everyone. Does it in some way shape or form and what they did. You can make an argument that kind of repeal because it take it took a spot from somebody but yeah. They didn't hurt anybody. They didn't murder anybody. Take money away from anybody that like an infant was going to get into usc and then they took her spot they would have gotten into ucla to another great school. And then that kid's going gonna be fine. Yeah like. I don't even know where i was going with this. But you know just people wanting for you to get down but now we have this john ford. We're all looking at that story. Ooh these rich people. Yeah you send them to jail right. I feel better about myself. I'm not rich. And i'm not in jail so okay now feel good. Don't that's that's that's an unhealthy attitude to take where you're looking at those people in hoping that they fail where you look at the celebrity and you know where we know this is comics but when you tell people that you're a comic and that you're happy and that you're doing your life. There's that person always goes. Oh you travels what they have to bring something up. That's wrong so much. It's so hard it's being a bets. Gotta be so hard don't you. How much do you hate when people say and you may may not hate this at all. There's a fine line with someone in your position who you could say they would look at you with pity. Yeah now feel maybe doesn't does it. Feel insulting for instance. I'll follow you on instagram. Feel no pity few. Yeah however once in a while you'll post something with the dog or something a little tear in my eye. And i said oh. This moves me air. You'll say something cute and moves me. Yes i said to a friend. Once i said i don't pity brad. I just kind of get moved myself and that's fine. Don't worry you're not doing it. Do you ever have you ever been on their own. You're getting so well for your status. And how does that feel to you. Just so people now laugh. Do you think it's silly of them. It's it's very silly. Because i know what they're doing is they're trying to do the thing that we were just talking about where they're trying to be like. He's doing good for him. Yes yes yes. I wish there but it's like listen. Here's my thing is if the midget is doing better than you. That's more on you them like that like. That's so it's amazing what some people will think in In say in terms of like some because they are not a little person. They don't know what it's like. I've always been a little person. I don't know what my struggles are. Because i never lived my life a six foot. Two man. I don't know what i'm missing right. So one thing that i thought was funny is one time pulled up the freeway and there was a guy and you had to sign and a dog with him money. Whatever and i had some is dollars right there. Something so Roll down the window. I held the money. The guy walked. Oversaw me went nominee naumann. You need it. Oh my god. I was like wow i own a home. That's jobs driving. I'm glad so. Is this really disconnect is like always. Yeah sorry for the african american person. It's just it's weird prejudice but it's almost like not even looked at it. Is that bad. Except if you're on the receiving end if you're like dude don't pay no maybe you i'm good. I have a house that i pay with with jokes. Yes and i. I got hot asian wife and a cute dog like my life is good. You don't have to pity me like when when you see me on the airplane through bag open in the overhead storage been by by climbing up on the armrest good. Oh my life is so hard no couple of things that bug me but overall yeah life is good and i think that It's like. I'm also this guy that like i look at a lot of people were we seem to be in a culture where people are striving to be victim. They're they're they're they're trying they're they almost have They're almost like jealous of the people that are truly victims. Because they're like. Oh my god. I'm not a victim day. Get to say this and everyone's giving them all this attention to find out what my thing is. And 'cause i grew up in orange county. California mom and dad been married for over forty years now. Dad did really well was was a lawyer affluent. You know like my life was good on how these guys many dad with time. Yeah he was gone making money. So i yeah yeah i stopped. It was great and then and then when he was home he was an awesome dead. So like i'm not. It always boggles my mind when when people that have really great things going for them look at their situation. Go but oh. But i'm having. I'm having difficulty with gluten brad. Your life was great. So you're thing about your life is your peanut allergy. You go on a plane and wear a mask and ask if anyone's that npr 'cause if someone has a snickers in their purse pretty freaking good what you know. And i think we don't take time to look at our lives and look at all the things that we have going for us and just awesome. You're the person who lives a life full of gratitude practice that you don't have to practice it because you're just freaking good at it so it's like he's people if you're a real gratitude. Sounds like it's not a guy thing i pulled on me journal. Write down five. Things have great before yes. That's fine but again if we don't come from at it from a victim standpoint it's like oh i just look around and i can name twenty things off the bat. You don't even have to take the look around you just go. I live with that. So you say your overall attitude just seems to be yeah. Life is good. Thank goodness life is good. I it's it's fine. I'm not going to be searching for a reason to be unhappy. And i think that's one of the reasons to take it back where we started. I think that's one of the reasons why. I don't mind the word midget because i don't want a single word to make me unhappy like i don't wanna be going through my day. Have a great day and be like wow really productive day today. Turn on the news and like jimmy. Kimmel said the word midget and now. We're like well now aware that. Write a letter. I've gotta have my thoughts be. I don't wanna do that right. I don't want to have one word. One instance one thing ruined my time Like you're all right so literally yesterday in an extremely my a micro level. It's not a big thing. I'm knowledge in that but my dog. Who is seventy pounds of saw. Me outside in ran. Didn't realize a screen door was closed and by broke through the screen door like it was like those bombs at hold the paper for the football team like one through s. Yeah they pretty much just shattered the screen door and so now we have to get a new screen door like a essentially that day and some people would be like. That's one more thing on my day that got to do do today. I looked at it but dogs. Wrens green larry is a win turned into a win. Just like i just turned it into a win. You said and i quote. This is on a micro level and that i didn't say i guess with you is on a michael i think held back. Yes very well. During the wimmer's asian and i really feel like you're such a good example for people because it's just like come on get your head out of your ass and enjoy your life because we don't have to walk around with the head down all the time so speaking of which we have to take a break but are you willing to stick around and help some of my fans who have problems because you seem to have the right attitude and i would imagine. It's gentle yet. Tough love at the time in the grad. Tell people where they can find. You can find me on twitter at funny brad on instagram. At brad williams comic they can listen to my podcast about last night. Podcast of which lisa limp and elliott has been a guest and go back and listen to that episode and then for all my tour dates. Would've brad williams comedy dot com. If not in your town wait two to three months. I'll be in your town. Were like a damn madman who super critical of comedians. Because i always think. I'm the funniest person on the planet met my matt freaking rocks and we way the same. Just i'll be right back with let lisa out. This is let lisa help with lisa lamp. Nelly curb appeal and with the home depot. Today's the day for doing boost. Your curb appeal with the best brands at the best prices from new garage. Doors to colorful flowers exterior lights to a new coat of paint inspiration to installation. You can do it or let the home depot do it for you visit homedepot dot com slash services for more information on installing your next project depot more saving more doing. Us only see store for details. Hey i'm heather morris and i may be bernstein. Mitchell aka aflame and where the host of the new show the dance room on podcast one veteran dancers and choreographers that have worked with the likes of beyond say justin timberlake britney spears and many more i used to be on this little show called glee. I don't know if you watched it. Well we're going to go full out on our favorite tv dance shows like i think you can dance dancing with the stars and world war dance. So don't miss it. Get new episodes of the dan term every thursday on apple podcasts. And podcast one now. Back to let lisa help with lisa lamb pay. Everybody is lisa lamb. Bonelli back with this fabulous episode of. At least i helped my special guest co hosts in the studio is the hilariously funny comedian brad williams. Who i freaking love. Who is an example for all people who need to freak in. Lighten up and be in a good mood now brad. Can you help some of my sad listeners. i hope i do too. this is from. Ooh this is the sad part. Already from missoula montana and i quote. I am feeling trapped in my hometown. I'm graduating this fall with a degree in business management and marketing. But don't know what to do with my degree or my life. In general my dating life is on exists in as well. Why did i laugh because mine is also. Don't feel bad pow. I'd love your advice now. Trapped. he uses a very apt. Were trapped. bad interest wins last time you felt trapped in anything. What do you say to anyone who says i'm trapped. It's interesting when you say trapped because like to me the only time you should be allowed to use the word trapped is when you're kidnapped and the guy you in a crate downstairs. That's true that's or in jail yet. Then you're trapped then it's official but if you're in missoula montana of which it's city i've actually been to. It's not that bad. It's delightful outdoor town if you're in that kind of thing but if you wanna try something new fantastic and it seems like you have. This person has degree. Yeah which is good What's the name of the degree again. Business management and marketing mayor and marketing. I mean i get that coming out of college. Scary in general very scary but understandable and just that everything is wrong. There's what job do i get. What do i do with my life. My hometown sucks and my dating life sucks to. i say. Pick one and go with it because you can't work on in coaching. we learned. You can't work on everything at once. You'll just want to pull your hair out. What do you think is the first one. This person should pick out of those three. I would say move. I love that. Why would you say that. Tell them be because when you move now. You're forced to get everything else going again. You're you're forced make friends. You're forced to get a job because you have to pay for the rent in the in the place that you're in and then you're forced through all of these things and all in all of these actions you're forced to get out there and start meeting people. Hopefully that applies to your dating life but also weren't in a wonderful time now where your you can get dates on your phone. Pretty good thing. Life left swipe right. Swipe one of the sites go. I mean if we're in missoula montana don't don't shy away from farmers only you might. You might see some people on there. I i would say a change of scenery would be good for this person and thankfully you know if you're if you're a college in may maybe don't have a lot of means to make that decision. There's a lot of wonderful places that you can get decent size apartments not a ton of a ton of money. We mentioned the beautiful des moines the mine. There's a but you'll part of me thinks he's he's piling on a little party from just from this letter. I'm just totally assuming he's gay because gay guys exactly because when you dating life is nonexistent and sometimes there is something about moving to a more gay friendly city. I don't know about missoula. They're probably gay friendly. But maybe you just want to be around more of the community like take a risk. Go for it. The thing is brand. I always say what's the worst that can happen back. Yeah you come back. You obviously have some sort of home or roots in missoula montana right so you can always go back there so head on over to seattle far away head to if you want to take a little step up from missoula montana. Go to boise idaho. Not too far away from. Do they have gay community there. Do they played boise. It was all like a whole theater of gay guys. It was the best love hotel. Really boise's really gained goes. Oh yeah we're gay and mormon but at different times. Wow that's amazing it's funny when people I remember. I grew up on the east coast. I'm still in connecticut. And so i always lived in new york during the comedy. My comedy career. So what happened. Was some families all in connecticut. My manager said to me. Though years ago. Before i was known at all she goes. You have them. I'd it'd be nice if you could be in la for a couple years till you're a little known meet casting people and all. I was freaking out. So i call a life coach and she goes. Why don't you just. Why are you freaking out and go. 'cause i really love my family. I wanna see them a lot. Just put a plan in place than on paper mark the months. You're gonna The week you're gonna fly home mark the night you're going to call them. It'll just make you feel better so if this guy is just freaking out because he loves his family. It's not enough to hold you back. There are ways to. there's these things are called planes. You get on them. It's cheap their spirit air unless they crashed a paper pocketbook. Yeah i mean there are ways to do it and the fear camp be would hold us back now. I in 'cause everything your life happened exactly the way it did whether you worried about it or not and if you just sit there worrying about it. Nothing's going to happen. You can you. You can do something. And that's and then the worst that can happen. Is you just go back to right where you are now or you do nothing and you stay where you are now with all your same problems so might as well try it. It's like the guy who wanted to be a comic. Like this is how i knew. I'd never gonna second date with a guy when he said i always thought i could be a comic. I yeah you can't you can't style. Nobody likes you but always said you know what. That's what i didn't just say. I wanted to be one or i thought i could be. When i always had the attitude i try at once if i'm horrible and i know there's no future in it as far as even joy then i'm not going to do it but you know then zero sum game. It's okay you try and also if you just got those degrees that means you're probably in your early to mid twenties. Which means now is the time where you can take that chance got. No kids got no kids. No wife no husband. Maybe i don't know you're talking about the dating life. Surely yeah now. You're free to try those things so yet now is the time. Now is the prime. Cause you don't wanna be that guy that's forty five. That's in missoula montana going. I wish i had moved to seattle right. I had only only gone to miami once while to wouldn't it be funny. If he actually was in his fifties and he just got his degree. Then just kill yourself. Yeah ok okay. this one is from. Oh the beautiful metropolis of plattsburgh new york. I decided show their no kidding. My storytelling show now called low. Losing it and also a one called fat chance and food and body image issues my website least limp and only dot com for information. He saw enjoyed my show tonight. Well that's good. I was hoping my question there. But i will ask and instead here my wife who had weight loss surgery in two thousand five. I was against it after it was done. I talked with her again. The weight she lost gave her a better image of herself. So for that result. I said it was worth it. That's very sweet. She went from two thirty and his now one ten. I'm gonna jealous right now because one ten. That's listen new brad slash accu. My question is how do you know what donald trump's fall sack looks like boy didn't see that coming well down trump's balzac the either. John is hilarious. I just wanna say greg in plattsburgh. I love you for that. Well i do not know what donald trump's balzac looks like brad as a comedian. If you had to guess. I imagine you're not a a trump supporter. Because no i seem like a very happy non-prejudiced yes spew hatred think donald trump's ball sack would like. Here's the thing that i've noticed 'cause while i haven't seen donald trump's ball snack. I have watched a lot of porn. What you discover is that no matter. What ball satcher pretty ugly power. They're not. They're not aesthetically pleasing. Not you you know i. It's like oh what is rosie o'donald. It looked like very similar to emily radical. Clint not that good looking and And why wild. I know i can't find one ever. So i'm saying is is is is ball sack is probably disgusting as are all balls. Yes but i would love it. I would love it. I would love so much is if he did the comb over with the poops. If the column over with the news. I would never stop laughing. You know what. I donald trump. If you're listening which. I totally think you probably are not listening. Although she asked me we've been motivation. She had prepared my relationship with my love. Of course i'm talking about putin. Now i was a power about i was. I was always taken it. Now if you're like. I'm giving more demands noon. And vlad is listening lovely. Love should've given this arsenio lose a williams. I must tell you you are a delight. I love you. I'm so glad to call you a friend. I was bemoaning the fact on a previous episode. That i don't have black friends and i'm trying to really right that i have random and i know my dry cleaners name. Pat is what. I think that adds up to one black person. Michael yo actually though told me. I was really actually kind of emotional about because i was like. I'm afraid to go up to different types of people because i'm afraid they automatically assumed my comedy was true and the which she said. Just take a chance. So i'm going to have to do that. But what i think is great michael. Yeoh said he'd be my friend. And he's asian and african americans will. I'm doing pretty good covers all your basis. I think you cover anybody with a weird physical ailment true but in all seriousness. People go see brad. Williams wants to get your website. Is that williams. Comedy dot com. The full tour schedule is up there. And do my. I'm booked through january of twenty twenty. He's so good and by this guy new screen door. It's he's really differently sad about go on my website by shirt by the cds by the. Dvd's so i can pay for screen door. My dog put a roger rabbit hole through it. Just one quick question where we go when you walk your dog. He's he very difficult to contain because he's very big thankfully my My wife while i'm gone Does a lot of dog training with him and he's great we've like here's one thing that i can apply this as a life lesson whether it be. You want your dog to be trained where you want your relationship to be good whether you want to succeed in a certain line of business what you want to lose weight it takes effort. Nothing happens overnight. Nothing you don't just get to be like no and then your dog is inslee knows english and i and couldn't stand that it's going to take work. It's gonna take time and the only way that you can get the results you want. Is you invest the time necessary so whether it be you want your dog to be trained you want you want to get that job you want to move out of missoula montana. Yeah you you wanna know what donald trump's balsa well also brad you're from comedy because we know from trump on my boat sank. We like eight sets a night. You know comedy people. You have to practice episode practice. Brad says about changing your whole life. I mean you can't be that guy who goes. I wish i was. Kelly ripa and never frigging audition. You just can't be that girl. You went to kelly ripa. I just guy that wants to be kept mind. When i read missoula's question but thank you bride your gentleman. I love you. Thanks for having me on your podcast listener. Brad on it's called. It's called the about last night. Podcast i love it but you always great about it ego lisa. Don't worry you don't have and to really talk about what happened last night. Because i said i have no social thank you i love you and we'll be right back with more. Let lisa. how time to coach the coach. Hey everybody welcome back to let lisa help the podcast in which my own clients. Call me up and criticize me or tell me what i did. Right in our sessions together. Hey i'm just here to help. But i'm also here to learn along the way i got one of my favorite clients on the phone and i hate to play favorites but he might be my original first. Client ever wayne are you there. I hear it's good to talk to you dude. What's happening well so much actually. And i'm i'm sitting here. I'm thinking i'm so nervous about i. You know. I want to be on your podcasts. So bad but i was really nervous too at the same time. And what makes you nervous. You know what. I wanna. I wanna do good for you because you've done so damn good for me. Honestly we'll listen. Don't wanna let you down. Listen wayne what i always say about wayne. I always say if i retire from coaching there. Three people i'd keep and you're one of them and it's so funny it's because wayne virtually is the guy who you would never think would want coaching. Because he's very he presents as very sort of blue collar and that is not to say you. Blue collar types don't deserve or want coaching. But usually when you think who's going to be attracted to lethal antonella as a coach it's going to be women in their forties and fifties who were struggling with their weight blah blah blah and. Not wayne this buff psychotic inventor and i was like that's a fact. I am embarrassed to tell people that. I have a life coach getting less and less embarrassing. Every time i let it out in public places and people look at me all strange you by the way they knew. It's you even crazy. I know and you you just. You're just a typical for who you think of as asking for help. So i'm glad you sort of defy stereotypes and show that. Hey listen. it doesn't matter what you do for. A living doesn't matter if you're a plumber. Abakar freaking comedian an inventor like you are you can ask for and get it so i'm really proud of you. I'm always also proud of you. You can tell the audience if there's little or much details you want. What's kind of the basic issue. We work on well. you know. it's funny. I just to prepare to talk to you. I pulled out some of my old homework you gave me. I'm talking like back in november and One of the first things is my biggest issue in the world is my youngest son's autism and meet dealing with that and some of the first homework you gave me was actually create a list of the things that dreams that i thought were lost in the grief that i had over my son's autism but then also to list all the the good things right right but when i came up with those lists basically even while i started creating the list of bad things i started crossing shut off. You said yeah. How like i think the first thing i had the first thing on the list was you know. He's never going to grow be married when he grows up and get married. And you're like well. How the hell do you know that. Yeah and i was like you know what how the hell do. I know that right right away i started picking off that list and peeling it apart and and you know the biggest thing about that issue again. It really is like. I have so many issues as we all do. But i gotta tell you. The autism thing threw me for a loop. You know. And i'm a problem solver. I'm a guy that you know. I run a small company. I'm always you like you said. I present pretty well although people know. I'm quite manic. But you kinda have to be to get my job done right but to really just let go and to deal with that. Really works always kind. The elephant in the room is that issue. It just threw me for a loop. It was like my kryptonite. Suddenly i had to cure autism. I had not just cure my son but find a way to cure autism. Find what you know. My life became. What is you know. It was incredible. Because i never until i spoke to you. I was always trying to deal with the so-called problem. But i never dealt with the grief you know. That's the funny part of it. People don't know that they can have grief even if somebody isn't dead so what we basically dealt with was this death of a dream of what dreams might have had for that child when he was born and then it's what i love is that you were so brave. You made this big list and then as you said it just like oh well. That's not really true. Let me cross that off. Let me cross that off and then list is really short and then you're like well let stuff that kind of is on. That list doesn't matter anyway. Like what do i care. If he's not a scientist like like that really justifies everything around for me. I'm telling you. And i've shared this now with a lot of other special needs. Parents like in my circle because we all deal with that. Same thing and You know. I hope it helps them too. Because you know i don't want it with a therapist and everything and she was good about it and you know i know i'm common sense guy. I know how to feel about things. But i just never looked at it from the point of view of the grief thing and even the same thing you had me. Look at my. You know my divorce the same way. Right the grief thing. And i actually found a lot of a lot more good things in the divorce then actual bad things because it's time to take the reins in my life and actually gets shit done. Yeah well i think also people think if you start grieving something it'll never end you'll end up depressed and never leaving your house and you see that it really didn't impact you badly at impact. Did you in a good way. Because you're able to just be sad for a little while and then okay. Well i'm kind of just working on it now. Well you know. It taught me two kinds of grief as well too because you know my my oldest brother. That's my youngest brother. Should say killed himself. Three years ago shot himself. You know marble thing where she had had some help. And that's a grief that like you know that death never goes away but you know the freshness of it all goes away eventually right. There's an ending there's a closure but when it comes to grief of you know like my special needs child somebody that lives the autism that goes on forever and so that grief is always fresh and i think like you say that's why people don't think of it as grief they don't they acquit grief with death mainly have greece. I had grief over my losing my first love. I go back to that grief. And i was like i wanted to see my guts out. I remember that you know what i mean. So grief is on all different levels. You know but until you deal with it you cannot you cannot move on. There's just no way whether it's living grief or dead grief you know. I think this is living grief there you know and it was great to you mentioned before about homework. I always laugh. Because i'm so proud of you. You literally are the only person who i coach you. Always one hundred percent of the time does their homework and they taught us coaching class. They said it says a lot about a person if they do or don't do the homework and it's nothing negative if they don't it just means they're not ready to go there. They're not ready to take time for themselves. You're just like. I am not comfortable with the pain. I'm doing that homework and you'll even email it to me sometimes and i'm like wow. This is really somebody who goes yeah. I'm frigging doing this. And i'm going to actually have a life that counts versus. I'm too scared to go there. Like you haven't been afraid and if you have been afraid you haven't let it hold you back. Well i will be honest with you this way and i think i've told you this before too. There's times 'cause you're you know you're extremely busy so there's times where we like. Don't hook up and hey you know. Let's let's talk three days from now. Whatever right and there's been times where. I don't quite have my homework off and i'm like thank you. God jesus you know that means. I actually have two. Yeah that's what i do. And i'm happy and i'm proud of myself. Yeah that's new count. Ability of coaching is good. Like not a threat. But it's almost like. Oh boy i gotta be spurred on to make this happen it when they told me. I got this podcast. I'm like oh my god now. I actually have to ask my fans for letters that they need advice with now. I have to the lineup. The guest now. I have lineup the callers. And i'm like oh that but then you see the greater good that comes out of it for yourself and for other people so it's always worth it but don't worry we all need a little push so and now i understand why you're so understanding about when i have to push it off three days. I know what secretly going on now so does clear my plate. Today i was. I knew i was going to call you. And i was like leading up to it. I'm like ohio. Don't begins cancelled for some reason i own. I mean right. Because i was so scared and i don't know you know. I do think that's what coaching kind of all about to. It's great i guess coaching i used to laugh about it. And say you know stupid to me now. i realize that it really is coaching. And it's like having that person to give you a kick in the ass right if it's the right person. It really does help. Kinda keep yourself accountable. Yeah now you know. Would you say that. Because sometimes with us since i know you pretty well but even from like the first session i was just very blunt with you. Meaning like there's to school the thought and i ask some of my clients what they'd rather i was would you rather me just sort of let you ramble for five. You know sessions and then you're just going around in circles or would you rather me say listen. You want to hear what i think this is. I got a hunch you married your father or whatever it is. Yeah well yeah. That's that is what you said i remember. Yeah i like wayne. You want to know what's going on. You're married you're okay. Tell me if i'm wrong and you're like oh my god i did would you. Would you rather to have come to that conclusion yourself or are you glad that i brought that up. I am totally glad. Because i would have never come to that conclusion because i would have never looked at that relationship that way. I just wouldn't have done it right. You know when you don't have somebody in your corner getting that coaching kind of thing. You tend to take the easy way out like if things are going okay. So hey i'll just deal with the badge ship not actually billing with it for years. I mean i masked everything with you know i overeat like crazy. I've lost fifty pounds. I drank too much. I acted out anger. Like all these things. I look back on now. Yeah they were all ways of like escaping actually having to deal with myself and all those things that i have through life by the way yesterday that i brought onto myself really is to like i would bring up stuff from the conversation that you weren't even calling to talk about you. Just throw it in. Like oh and so like i got out of the car and i was like yelling at this person. And you know me i speed. I go fast. And that wasn't even with the call is about like let's pick apart why you feel. You have to be so aggressive on the road so you just kind of went with it instead of you know. I remember in the old days when i got my shrink coaching. I like no man. That's what i'm calling about so you went with it. And i think people just have to know that you have to stay open and yeah you're always going to want to go down that road that the coach wants you to but at least keep an open mind. Which is what you do. As an inventor the best ideas always come like in the spur of the moment like you throw everything out there. You cannot be a. And that's what i told myself even doing this with you. This has been great. But you know i stopped telling myself this actually a couple of months ago but for the for the first few months i was saying you know this is really stupid. Why do i have laughing alley right now coach. Why am i doing this shit like why. Why am i doing this. Why is she doing this right. It was like the whole question. Like and i would miss it. If like we couldn't talk for a week right right right. And i would start using the things that we talked about like in the real situations stuff came up today with my mom. The same thing how she always. Because i'm the guy who has to solve all the problems diving. And i'm you know mr plan of action. She uses that to like make me. She likes to get me flustered and make me think everything is an emergency right. Because i think he's like addicted to that and herself and she'd tried pulling that today and i actually thought about it and Was able to con quel the situation. Yeah see recognize what she was doing even though she did not recognize it. Right because really. We're your job is to change her. You just change you and you've been doing that for months now. It's very impressive. you know again. You're never one that. I look in the book and dread you know i. It's very interesting to me. I'm trying to figure out what my line has to be on. Why do i dread this certain person. And do i really need an energy suck in my life as a client. Yeah we want to help people. But you're not one of those people. Because i think it's actually. I enjoy forward motion. Like i really liked that. You do your work. So is there anything in closing that. I can do differently for you. Anything that i left up with his or hurt your feelings for me personally but i do want to give you a critique not about how you handle me at all because you are awesome. Okay okay. there's no doubt anybody out there listening. Better no this is not bullshit. I thought it i at least lamb. Ellie is how can she be serious. You are most professional serious life coach. Slash i'm gonna say therapist i've ever seen. Wow i believe in. But here's my critique of you. And i think this plays off of what you just said about energy sucking and all that i feel that you have a problem and i could be completely wrong but i do think you have a problem saying not saying no enough really. You're like you gotta help. Every yes getting yourself sick and everything. I didn't like it as your koji is your student. Whatever you gotta call me. I didn't like. I don't like that. And i'm not kissing us. I really mean that. I thought long and hard about. What's my critique you that's my critique you better you bet coach yourself and start saying notice shit like my oldest son does as you can't help everybody but you can help a lot of people just by doing what you're doing now but you don't have to help everybody personally lisa. You can't do that. People are going to take advantage of you including myself and you know. I'm always go with the flow. I what do i do. I tell i'm gonna tell you this publicly. You could drop me tonight and it's awesome because you've helped me all the way so and i know that day's coming or it could even be where every six months you like. Hey you know for the hell of it. I'm gonna call wait all right fine. You are obligated in any way shape or form. I'm saying that publicly right now so but then. I hope that you feel the same way with other people that i know are taking advantage of the fact that you wanna save everybody. Well listen. this is a very good critique. you're right because i do tend to think i haven't quote unquote done enough. I was even talking. I was being coached today in my class. And i was saying you know. When am i done enough. Why can't i just sit around sometimes and it's like oh you're you're bringing up exactly right and actually you and i liked to guys. My women are a little better at you. Know saying emotions on their mind but guys learn and women from how wayne did when i was sick and whatnot he would be. I hope you're doing okay. And if there's anything. I can do in this. People like to be checked on even if they seems super strong so me i come off as tough and strong and that was very nice of you. That was totally cool. And what you said tonight really makes my day because the point is yes. I can help some people again. Everybody and i can pick and choose just like i would comedy gigs in the past like i am now with storytelling events. I'm just picking and choosing so thank you. Sometimes we just need to hear it so that's really awesome. Say 'cause that is true. I feel the same. I bet you so many people out there feel the same thing as you said. I love it once in a while when somebody just shows a little care you know what i'm now so that's awesome. Yeah social media now and every faith their friends and their you know what i mean. But there's no like human support. That's why coaching has been fabulous and by the way anybody who doubts that coaching cannot work over the phone fame. Coaching the phone is the best. Frigging i for some reason. I only do over the phone. I don't wanna do skype. Wanna look at anybody. I don't want to have them looking at me without makeup on breakdown crying and shit. Sometimes i don't wanna see you know and he can add this weird layer and sometimes i think also because i am a better listener on the phone because i have to focus one hundred percent that i think that works so You know i love this. And who knows wayne. I might find a way to help people on a bigger scale more at the same time. Who knows. I'm starting actually a coaching group online. And also one in person than mike. Oh a group. That's cute and then have some individual clients that i like. And just who are really moving forward like as master so thank you for your buried kind critique and thank you for anything you're up to so keep me posted. Oh yeah and wayne by the way guys listening. There wayne came on tony workshops. It's called when it's time to change and you're great because you participated your emotional vulnerable men out there. Don't be worried only guy their head. What am i good friends who i brought. I brought him to that. It was all women. And i learned a lot because i did not know that women worry about being seen crying the same way guys do. I never thought that. I never looked when i won't even get into. I learnt so much there and it was pretty interesting. Go and really share your feelings with the with this group of women. Because i thought it was gonna be an stupid. I'm kind of like. She's at a blue collar. Guy fell really stupid walking into a workshop. You killed it. Yeah and you and your buddy don who came with you. He said he might think about becoming a coach himself. And i was like. Oh this is so cool. The people actually opened up especially guys because even like the food and body image stuff. i do in workshops. Men struggle with that too. Like you said you lost like fifty pounds like that's a big deal. So i guess my biggest problem was seriously eating. I could not. I cannot tell you how bad it was like ten thousand calories in the sitting. i couldn't believe it. Well my doctorate so mazed by the change. She can't believe it Well i love you man back then. Those layers yeah. Yeah fix yourself and finding the you you wanna be you know and listen lights die. you know. i say to people now like how you doing. I'm like you know i'm really happy. I'm really grateful. I'm really thankful even when terrible shits happening. Yeah exactly stuff's gonna happen right. It's how you deal with. You gotta look at the good things right and next up wayne guts. What i'm gonna do when we start back on coaching your next thing next week. Here's your homework for next week. I wanna step by step plan for you. Meet a girl. Because i'm sick and tired of not getting late. I know only shit. I am lonely. And i'm tired of my left hand. Oh gross okay. I know i love you man. We'll talk next week and thank you. God bless you. Thanks for calling in god. Bless you by buddy. What did we learn who everybody was fantastic. I loved our show today. First of all. We've learned that. Guess what don't feel sorry and pity people who have it. What you think is more difficult. Because they've turned things around guys like wayne had turn around the fact that he has supposedly an abnormal child in quotes and yet he turned it around to go. I am blessed. And i'm happy that i have this great kid and there's no grief that needs to be unrecognized. There's brad williams who don't pity a guy like brad you see him walking around yet. He and his word is a midget but he can embrace it and go look at how good and happy and healthy. My life is and i have my wife and my dog and my career so people listen. We can get through it. We still don't know what donald trump's nut sack looks like. Hey if anybody knows call into the show. Let lisa alp seawall next week. Thanks for listening to let lisa help so avenue for more info on. Lisa's storytelling shows her workshops and her life coaching services. Go to lisa lamp. Nelly dot com. You can also follow lisa on the socials at lisa lamp. Nellie new episodes of let lisa help or the weekly on apple podcasts and podcast one and if you love to show sure to leave a rating and review curb appeal. You know what you see and with the home depot. Today's the day for doing boost. Your curb appeal with the best brands at the best prices from new garage. Doors to colorful flowers exterior lights to a new coat of paint inspiration installation you can do it or let the home depot do it for you. Visit homedepot dot com slash services for more information on installing your next project depot. More saving more doing. Us only see store for details. Ap news is sponsored by adt. Real protection is professionally. Installed smart home security backed by twenty four seven monitoring. Our team will help you. Customize a system for your home including video doorbells indoor and outdoor cameras smart locks and lights that can be controlled from the adt app or the sound of your voice. You can even help. Keep your loved one safe on the go. 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