Sittin on the Dock of the Bay

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Own iconic luxury items at unreal values with the real real the leading reseller of authenticated luxury from top designers up to ninety percent percent off retail. Every item is authenticated by the real real team of experts and new arrivals. Come in daily in-store new customers receive an automatic twenty five dollars off checkout. You can shop in store online or download the app and get twenty percent off select items with the promo code real the real real dot com promo code r. e. a l l. I suck at dating with dean vanessa and jerry and i heart radio podcast. Hello everyone welcome. Welcome to this week's episode of help. Hi suck dating a very special episode because we are recording live from oracle park. I can't take you seriously in san francisco. We're on a little bit of a time constraint today so vanessa and i are going to be bulldozing through this episode. We've got a we've got analysts here. In the stadium with us we also have the men from in how many think demetri in gonna come on and rick actually has a thirteen year old son whose an eighth grade i wanna get. I wanna ask syria swag. He's a good looking young man. I wanna ask him what it's like to date as an eighth grader because obviously we're all as co-hosts pretty removed from eighth grade. I just think it'd be fun to see. Maybe how it's changed. You compare compare contrast how it was for all those decades ago but first things first how are you. I'm good so we literally just landed came straight to the stadium so at oracle park right now. It's my second time in san francisco. <hes> i've been to a few baseball games before when when montreal had the expos we're trying to get back real hard to washington yeah so the capital's now that the capital so we're trying. I mean experts. Don't exist anymore so we're really trying hard to get them back to montreal as i brought my baseball cap. Hopefully i won't get any popcorn thrown at me today but very excited to be here. I haven't seen you in a while yeah. It's been since tahoe. Were you. <hes> <hes> did a lone solo two weeks ago and you were at a wedding this past weekend. I was at two weddings this past weekend and that kind of when's the last time you went went to a wedding that answer. Oh yeah i feel like after i went to those weddings i love. I maybe it's because because we were on the show and we have that we're constantly in the spotlight. I just felt like i think the day i get married. I just wanna have a barbecue. I'm an invite people to a barbecue my backyard whoever shows up shows up and they have they'll have no idea that's my actual wedding day and then that'll be it like no one has spent money on their hair known as to spend money on buying address edison more thought to that actually beach thing so i mean yeah. I think what what about the wedding gave you that idea. I don't know i think it was just it's a lot you know it's a lot of planning and preparation and that even for the guests going watch me have the most elaborate wedding after i say this you are kind of like oh god here comes an insult you. How do i say that you like nice thing. Oh really you're you're you. It looks like i like nice things but i like to you like nice clothes and you'd like to be your hair and jewelry. Do you not not really the only julia i'm wearing right. Now is my ring looking through your instagram. I see you as like <hes> like a high. I like dressing up absolutely kind of booze. Usually you do not know me but like someone that likes to celebrate a grand grandly i mindless and if we're comparing you to me yes no van. I live in a very hard especially with with you being as aware of your emotions as you are. I feel like it's going to be hard for you to wedding. I mean listen. I come from an italian alien background and we the weddings that we do. The baptisms confirmations like everything is always so big and we sell it. We love to celebrate and for me. It's like i want to celebrate with the people that i see on a daily basis and that's the people that i basically see every sunday which is my family and my closest friends so i don't know this is just something that went through my head because it was a lot that day was to weddings and then the next day same day yes and it was an hour away. They were an hour away from each other end up working. The one of the morning wedding and one was an afternoon one was they were both in afternoon wedding but my boyfriend came with me to the first one which was my close friend and then i went to his his friends reception so i got to meet all the rest of his friends which was crazy because i think i was talking about it with annelies. Who's here hi girl which we'll get. We'll get the okay so she was like. I didn't know that you were you and josh dating for a couple of months. I think people think that we've been dating for longer than how long has christmas december jennifer march april may nine months july. Wow you're good nine months. No idea why i just said that oh yes so i i met the rest of his friends wedding so for me. I think it's so let me ask you this being with your boyfriend surrounded by love and weddings all these things that make you feel all these things. Yes yeah how does that does it. Put things into perspective for you at all like. Does it make you want to expedite the process a little bit more excited for marriage potentially with josh. I mean listen you know me. I've always wanted to get married. I've always wanted to have kids and i think for the longest time every time i started dating someone i thought oh. This is the person for me because in my romantic head. I thought i'm dating him for sure he's going to be the person may end up with but with josh. It's such a different feeling. It's a sense of of like i feel at home with him and yeah when we were at the wedding together. I can't wait for the day where i'm walking on the island. I just wanna see his face. The first yes i'm he sees me those thoughts that go through my mind and a couple of days later he looked at me when we woke up and he's like i'm gonna marry you honey. Can i ask a favour of you when you get married. Will you invite meteoroid wedding and not by jared. That's the favor that amassing like. I said it's going to be a small wedding so maybe no one's getting invite being. Josh go if you're listening to this. I'm going to do not disturb. The challenging thing for me is when i get married. Who am i going to invite me. Me does continue the trend of one percent income one so i guess it's going to go back to me now. Coming i mean as whatever i always feel like the left the one man that's out of the equation. I'm going to have a wedding and you're gonna be the only person in attendance. I love that was a call officiate. You're gonna officiate yeah. That'd be great. Okay cool so you had the weddings. You are incredibly incredibly happy in your relationship happy but now enough about meeting so we just watched the last episode of this well this week's episode on tuesday so so just for the listeners sake. We're recording this episode the thursday before <hes> the week after i dumped kaelin so we have not seen this episode of bachelor learn paradise but it has been that i returned back to paradise this week but again we have not seen the episode so we don't know exactly what happens and i can't really talk talk much about it. Let me just tell you this. I guess between the time of me leaving and the time of me being teased coming back. I think i can tell you what i did. I landed in san diego drove all the way to the grand canyon. I sat there for a couple hours. Thought about things listens to music listened to some lectures read. A book trump down to phoenix called one of the producers and said hey. I want to come back to the beach. What do you think this is. After how many days after you left paradise this was basically the same day. I think i landed in san diego and i called them and i was like hey guys. I'm sad you left and you had immediate regrets so this is the in between tween time between obviously like i think that's kind of appropriate right because i left on the show and i come back next week and so yeah. This is in between time and so yes i landed. I was really upset and so i called them. We figured out. I don't think i can get too much into the nitty gritty about that right now but again canyon thought about things called them. They decided that they would let me come back and such that you're gonna see next week is coming back which will be fun for us to watch. I think i don't really know how it's gonna go but my hopes are high and it should be at least entertaining chaining if nothing else but obviously next week after that all happens we can talk about it a little bit more depth because i have so many questions actually wrote a draft tokyo. Okay i wrote a a list of questions because it's so upsetting to see an i'm such a fan of dean and you know this so it's so upsetting to see the self doubt that you have about yourself and how you think someone else deserves more happiness and i like how kaelin puts you in your spot every now and then and she's like why are you making making that decision for me so i do wanna get into this but i guess we'll talk about it next week. When you do reappear hopefully she'll take you back. I do want to touch on that really quick. Can we can with one of the next segment. I think that the self-doubt is more of not that. I don't think i have enough to offer people but just that i'm not willing to offer the things that they want to. I see you know what i mean that just because i'd say in a mode in my life right now where i want to focus on myself and be selfish etcetera but i would love to touch more on that next week when we talk about that when and we're able to talk about that in more depth so next up we are going to speak with belo bachelor contestant and she's going to update us on her life life because she's been dating and it's getting can we talk about what's no wait. Yes we can talk about it but before before we talk about it story. The producer is looking at me with a stink face like we can't talk about one hundred percent. We can talk about and we're gonna talk about it before. We do that though we are going to take one quick break and then really dive into it with endless. It's not always easy to know what makes a date go wrong. It could literally be anything but one thing's for certain certain if you've got dirty gross stuff inside your home your chances for another date. Go way down especially if you're vanessa and you take the guy to your house for for the first date. It's just one of those things that make that special. Someone not answer your texts anymore. Fortunately c l r can help you remove this disgusting problem from the dating equation agent now see gets rid of everything from soap scum to toilet bowl stains to that gunk in the washing machine and it does it with ease because c l r dissolves loves calcium lime and rust other cleaners make you scrub scrub but c l r uses natural ingredients not harsh chemicals calls even carries the e._p._a.'s safer choice seal which means you can feel comfortable using it all over your house and being comfortable is always always attractive so if you think maybe a your dump is getting you dumped go sealer brands dot com today or pick up a bottle from a retailer near you trust your clean to seal are my name is danny shapiro and i'm i'm the host of family secrets podcast about the secrets kept from us secrets. We keep from others and the secrets keep from ourselves. Family secrets is more than just a podcast audio experience. It's also a community a place for people to share powerful stories of heartbreak healing and hope in season two we hear from a woman whose father's descent into dementia revealed his deepest darkest secrets and we hear from a man who kept his wife's terminal illness a secret to protect their children listen to season to a family secrets on apple podcasts the iheartradio app where ever you get your podcasts okay. We're back so annelies. Hi how are you. I'm doing well and you look great. You cut your hair. I love it. I love the new look. I did a little shop. He felt like i needed a new looking hot. Thank voices purity. They keep that italy's philipson last time we talked to you we were in tahoe. That was like four or five weeks ago. Something like that is it. That's sure okay go weeks ago anyways philipson. What's going on in your life. Life has been good. Are we really talking about my dating. One hundred percent is the dating podcast lady yes. They have been dating somebody else. It was about a listen. Dean loves getting and he's really good at getting information out of people so it just warning you. Whatever you feel like sharing share like the bare for minimum. I'm not ready to dive incompletely with details but <hes> but yeah i met somebody and he's great and i feel like it's the first first time maybe ever that. I'm like wow. I'm worthy of. This kind of relationship feels yeah. I don't know if i i don't i don't know if maybe i thought in the past that like i deserve somebody this great and he's really me we met at a time. It's a very much like when when you least expect this situation it was right after during paradise and i was done with men for i was like i'm going to just take a break from dating. I'm not gonna date intel intel maybe the show's done airing and then you know slowly get back into things i had a couple of people that wanted to set me up with you know friends of the family or whatever and i'm like okay sure but not for a while because i'm just not ready and i'm taking a break and then i went out to be a wing woman basically for a friend of mine and she she started talking to these guys when we became friends with them and then just have hung out pretty much every day sentenced to to work out for your friends. No i mean that was like she she and and i didn't well. She actually did meet somebody but not that weekend so yeah. Things are good okay great so that was how long ago ish we're cusp it on to i'm to me yeah. That's great. It's always the most interesting time too because like you're trying to get to know someone. You're trying to figure out what they like what they dislike very weird because the show started airing like two weeks maybe after we saw how did you approach that within because i'm sure he knew that you were from the bachelor franchise because he is not he so far removed removed from social media and all that stuff so that's a great sign yes so i i just set it on the second time we hung out one on one or maybe the first time we hung out one on one. I was like i gotta be honest with you know what it was what the bat batch was remember if he did because my boyfriend still has so many questions. He has no idea what paradises yard. I says he's like oh. She's on. Why was she on it that she not find love and i'm like yeah. It's your whole thing how the conversation was as well but i think he was sort of aware of the show that doesn't know anything about it so and then how is it watching the show when you're on it with them. I like this allow. Allow him like you just said you're not watching it or actually. I have a really really hard time watching myself back on it so i wasn't going to watch it and then when i found found out that i was going through union i just binge watched every episode. Did you feel about your parts on the show so i actually i had seen my part just because my friends on the east coast would send me clips because i was i'd have panic attacks like minor ones before come you know knowing like tonight's the night that this part air so they would would send me my little clips on so. I got to see that in real time. What can we talk about paradise for a second. I know it's hard to put yourself back into that situation. Especially now that you're in a good relationship what happened with the whole chris bukowski thing so that that was frustrating to watch back and i don't like it's always hard because i don't know exactly really what i can say he he was really pursuing me that first week and they didn't really show our relationship at all and i you think it's frustrating watching it back in seeing be shown so one sided because it really wasn't and he really struggled with that decision that at night christina came in had a conversation with him in i i think i don't know what was going through his head but <hes> but yeah i think he was probably thinking. Oh maybe more serious than so. I don't wanna be like committing myself to her for the rest of the time <hes> but i just wish he would have had that conversation conversation with me because if he would have realized i wasn't there yet but resentment towards christine effort coming in and saying that i mean a little bit. I feel like whatever whatever she said to chris was the same thing. She said to blake when he was thinking. I i feel like it was the exact same and <hes> yeah so i mean but the thing is everything everything happens for a reason and i am a firm believer on that and i think that yes i was disappointed in the moment because i felt really gypped of the whole experience watching ching it back though and like my person definitely never showed up on the beach so you know it is what it is. I think i sort of went back this time thinking oh i'm excited to make more friends and be still open to the possibility of love because it sort of worked for me. <hes> the year before you know so the way i was hopeful but i felt gypped so we're than anything both comparing season to season. It's hard to because you were there for shorter amount of time in the second time around and but also you it's it's easier to kind of remove yourself because you got less attached to someone right. So would you say that like the first time was better. The second time was better in your experience. It's so and this is another part of just editing. That gets frustrating is i actually i really really loved high handled paradise this year. I felt like i went in. I was open. I talked to everyone which wasn't released shown but i did. I think they're wearing a ton of options for me and i actually did have a connection with chris and so so it was just an easy natural fit to just spend my time with him but <hes> but i still was happy with how i handled everything <hes> maybe some things done slightly different but i did feel like i did paradise the way i wanted to do. Pass this year even though it was only a very short amount of time to your point like you said earlier. It's hard to look back and regret read anything because you're happy now right so it's like everything happens for a reason. Obviously it's a it's a good place to be right next. I feel like my perspective on all of it is just so different and i'm really grateful that i met somebody who doesn't doesn't care that i was on a dating show and you know that i put myself in this crazy world you know i think that's a classic example of like you said. It's so cliche but i i really do believe that everything happens for reason like before. I went on the show i i fell in love with the guy and i thought it was never gonna find love again and i thought it was the end of the world for me. Then fast fast forward three years later on the show and i get engaged in i was at high and then the relationship ends and again. You're back out a low and you whenever you're at that point in your life. You think you're never gonna find the person that you you're meant to be with and i remember like one episode. I did my solo episodes girl. Talk and amy was was like you know. I think you have to stop trying to stop wanting it so much and it's so true i i kinda. Just said you know it'll it'll happen when it happens and then it happens bins in a way that i really never thought it was going to date someone. That's slid into my d._m.'s on instagram and that's exactly how it happened so amy. Thank you for the advice. Why couldn't hear you what i said. Amy thank you for the advice. Oh yes i can give great advice those who cannot do teach into practice tame anything i do but i can give people the best advice the best chill you've got this. Everything's fine. Just let it come to you. The universal take care in the moment. That's not what you want want to hear. Though in the moment you wanna hear like is not not chill and i've cried the last days in a row. I cannot take mount advice but i'm working on anyways. Thank you so much for joining us happy. We're happy that you're happy and let me say stunning couple yeah yeah. He's very good looking that we do. We get to see them together in their natural habitat. It's great to see an. I'm say this lovingly lovingly. I hope we never see you on another bachelor. Show again because i hope this relationship to end all but thank you for joining us and we'll see you on the bachelor service reunion show in a couple of weeks yeah okay of course over the listeners out there we have two more guests from iheartradio's hit new podcast how many think we have to the co host dmitri and rick and they are going to tell us dive into a little bit with them but before we do that we're going to take one quick break and then jump right into it with them. This is how many my name is books like. I'm gavin girl man. We got a lot to say. I didn't have a line after where we're try i to be honest with you as we possibly can without well without killing our own career cicis unscripted unfiltered raw zero five. You've used the phrase loosely gentlemen sitting around discussing everything you guys wanna know so intense seconds or less how many think what is education of all men different ages man code decoded abu. I don't know if i can say damn. I can't even follow that up the tagline yeah. Let's let's go with that. Helmet is available now everywhere you listen to podcasts. Tom chelsea handler and i'm launching a brand new podcast with iheartradio called life will be the the death of me and i'm gonna talk to all these different people my b._f._f. Mary mccormack. That's what we should call my book tour the apology for great idea. Sorry okay everyone on this whole. Pot cash would be called. It should be called with the orange because of the orange team in the book archie glad i went to therapy life will be the death of me me with chelsea handler listening subscribe at apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts okay we are back with two of the co hosts of the four hosts. There's five total full car. We have forty percent of how men think here with us. We have some facebook questions. Both we'll these gentlemen are married and so it'll be nice to have yes a male's married perspective on these questions and your greek feel like they have the same mentality same of way of thinking when it comes to family life and relationships rick and you're white and i'm having eban so we're going to get a lot of fifty okay guys before we start you wanna tell us about your podcast real quick. We have like a good idea of who we're talking to listen. I mean so one of the biggest questions out there as from women especially as what men are thinking they all you get together and you think this and this is what this guy did. This is what he said. This is how we reacted to something. How what was he thinking and it's like stop asking your girlfriends and just ask a guy so that's what we are. We're five guys on the how many podcasts that are willing to tell you exactly actly how guys are thinking. We don't always agree because guys think different things but we're willing to tell you what you want to know. The other thing about show is we're got were men at different ages stages stages of our lives so like i have two kids to meet you as four kids brooks has zero kids. He's just recently got married. Two years ago brooks it's like and gavin de gras for people listening may not given his hilarious governess his he's hysterically fantastic but he's he's a rockstar any single so certainly right brings that perspective which is kind of respect to relate to. I feel like i was saying you seem to have that single rockstar type of personality. That's the question let me diapers doesn't mean single. Oh look at this. This question is from becca. I want both the answer this as best you can do. Men still think about right there. I love even when i'm in a happy relationship in a committed relationship not in. I want them back. Wave just in a row random nostalgic way. Question is why their view to married men one or two kids on the four kids ever think about the first woman that you ever loved i would say yes i mean i. I think it's not like you're like the question saying is you're not actually using using that to take over your existing. Love your in relationship that you're in but it's it's you're you're not comparing by any means but you're you're touching on to those feelings you know and so what was is that experience like and so you you may be comparing it to what you're doing now or how that is but i think you're as you go through life and the older you get you sort of reflect back on certain stages of your life if you know what was like in high school what was it like college was it like right after college and there may be three or four different people that fell in love with two or whatever and i think that i think it's okay okay to do that. Yeah for sure. I think you want to you want to remember especially that i mean i don't think you should sit there and and peru's in your mind all your relationships or think back at them yeah but i think as they pointed out they mean you know not want them back to sort of way. I think you want to remember that special time and that special person that i mean the person that and they don't even a sexually they just say that i love so it's like the person that kicked off you having these grownup feelings. I think that's something you definitely have to remember one just because it's a nice time in your life but too because you like rick said you want to grow from that. Let me ask you this so obviously two are in love. You're married. Does the love that with our lives. I think and i actually love each other. It's i think you guys are in love with your own wives. That's obviously what i what i meant to say. They're the love that you have because i was quite love to like a feeling right so i was in love when i was thirteen eighteen but i'm in love with him twenty different love but it feels the same way like in my chest audi. Would you say that it's a similar feeling that you have that you get from it. Yeah i'd say it's similar alert but it certainly is more advanced and as you grow mentally it's like the love is different like you you. Probably you cherish it more and you're more more aware of what it does for you. What that companionship does for you. When you're young you're like oh yeah. I love this person and you feel happy to be around them and they make you feel happy emotionally but as as you get older you're like rating things. You made some good points there. Will the kids dropping stuff the other thing. I was going the ad that dmitry was like there's a lot more on the table right now right so you're you can't be thirteen or twenty-eight n._b._c. Google in love with somebody. <hes> you know that you have kids kids. You're you're expecting too as well and there's friends or and your wife so i would say the love is actually different. I mean it's still a love but but it's a different feeling and you can't always bring that back up you bring that back up in certain scenarios so like your first born you go back you go out on dates or you go on like a little. You know a ticket vacation together like those are things that i look back on. Those are the things that kind of bring back back some of that loving feeling. Was that a song was that gavin suit. I'm not sure but we'll give it to them and i think you're exactly right and as you get older life is life is tougher man like when you're young on your like i'm in love we love whatever going to a concert going to the beach but now it's like you have bills and you have responsibilities and you need someone that can that can be your partner under throughout that and that's that's really the difference because you have more of an appreciation for the love and support to take your both married. You're both in love. You're both happy for our listeners. Listeners who are experiencing heartbreak or who have never found love. Can you say that you could fall in love more than once in your lifetime. Sure course. I agree three to four. I fell in love with the girl in the airport. The other day get opportunities and he knows what are we taking mike just because i didn't get an opportunity to go on and on five dates with it doesn't mean i didn't see actually a funny segue into our next question. Okay from katie lee she wants to know. Where can you find quality guys. Dating apps is airports is at the gym. I mean listen. I found my boyfriend on instagram. <music> grabs a grim preferably guys that aren't married. You know i honestly i think the best case scenario and this is my wife and i met we met through a mutual friend. I think if you have somebody in common you cut out a lot of steps yeah so you already kind of vouch for the person for both people and so we met she was working with somebody that starts sound convoluted but she was working with this girl that i went to college with who started dating a friend of mine and then she she was throwing a birthday party and she she said hey bite this guy that i'm dating and some of his friends and i think you might like one of his friend and she was like oh. Whatever also this party up and that's that's how we met okay so you're saying the the best way to meet someone is through a mutual friend best case scenario okay. That's best case scenario. I think demetri <unk> our experiences is a little bit data to be honest with you you know nowadays as if you're twenty five twenty eight twenty three i think you whether it's their instagram or through tinder app or through some of those other those apps that that people use yeah i think that's an okay way to meet somebody and it definitely kind of cuts jason different aspects than having a common friend and and if that doesn't work try the deli counter at the grocery store. It's always a good one that is because you have a similarity. <hes> you know have a common thread and salted meat and see what they were really depends. The petco also next question all right rainy. Why does the guy texture. I invite you to hang out then leave you on open open for hours or days and looking at someone specifically when they plan time when the plan time comes around to actually hang out then they text you later and ask ask. When are we hanging out this and they invite you hurt. He's he's not he's not. He's looking for better options. He's he's at when he takes you that first time. He's he's at a moment where he's like. Ooh i i kinda wanna hook up or i come thinking about this person. He throws he cast a line out. You bite right away. He's like all right well. She's on the line. Let me see what else i can do. Let me see if there's other people out there. In then he that part bypasses and i'm not saying this is the right thing to do but this is what's happening in that situation that time bypasses and then he's like oh he's like but i i don't want it to be mad at me. Let me throw it out the hey. Why don't we hanging out. I totally agree with dimitri or it may not be that they're hanging out with another person. I think they're just looking for other things to do. You you know in the meantime. I was going to go to the ball game with my friends or i was going to go on a bike ride or one of the things like utech someone hang out when you're bored and you're not bored anymore and you don't really want to take time to hang out with them. Comes around. You're like actually i'm not bordering bottom line is. You're not a priority to him where he's like. I absolutely want to hang up. I'm gonna jump at the chance to hang out with you. That's we're also seeing tell the girl not to be too easy. 'cause the guy's one they want to chase. They do want to chase i but in this situation of that happens. I think you move on to a different guy. I don't think think that's yeah. I think so too yeah. Our next question is from megan. She wants to know if a girl were to offer up on the first date with a guy always by on the chance so sleep with her no not always. We talked about this recently on on how many think i think yet. There's i think rick's going to disagree with me because he did that day as well but i think i think yes guy obviously will want sex but when it comes down to if he sees himself with a it has a future with this person he may be hesitant. He may not want to rush into it because he doesn't want to. He never won as you said. We said in just a few minutes ago. There's something about the chase. There's something about exploring that time and taking baby steps in a relationship get interrupted real quick. I'm sorry because i'm trying to think of my personal experiences here and i've done into dates before where where i'm like no matter what happens. I'm not giving it up. Not nothing's gonna change my mind and i get into the to the to the zone dates going well. It gets offered offered up and nine times out of nine. I'm not i'm fighting and i've taken it. And how many of those girls have you married okay. It's a good point but still he's only twenty eight that but that's the point so yeah of course you doing that but when you don't get me wrong i know people that that went on a date i i had sex and they're happily married. It's possible but in some guys minds you don't when you think about settling down and you think about somebody being the mother to your kids. You don't want to think oh oh she was just too just giving it up our if you have that connection great but i also disagree with you again dmitri common to every show that dmitry and i are both aw i disagree with everything he says yeah i mean i'm coming from the perspective so basically if you wanna have sex go out with amy i'm coming from the perspective that if the date is going well and you're getting along with this girl and then you get to the certain point of of the date and everyone's kind of ready to play then let's go i agree with that. Take the point. I feel like the older we get. You don't have to make excuses for the decisions that you make in that at that time. That's true so if i wanted did with. I'm not going to explain when or how my boyfriend and i the first time we had sex episode me. We're not going to get into that but if he would have stopped talking to me for me. That's not someone i wanna be with because i want to be with someone who respects my decisions and if i'm making those decisions based off of we'll vanessa wants to do then that's the person i want to be with not because they're going to be judging me if if you know i'm sure guys have slept around the for and it comes down to like <hes> what's it called like what a guys are allowed to do versus what girls are allowed to do. Would you be fine. So would you be fine. If if you knew that your boyfriend had sex on every first date he went on. Would that be your okay. You wouldn't think anything confusing protection if a guy and a girl go on a date and they sleep together and that's enough of a reason for the guy to stop talking to the girl then that guy is not got a girl at the guy that did anyway but i don't mean stop talking. I just think it in a in that scenario. Would you have sex every time it was offered i wouldn't and when i was in college. There were times that i could have had sex and i didn't because i didn't want i didn't i knew i didn't feel that way about that. Girl and i didn't want her thinking that i did so but granted keep in mind. I've been married for fourteen years so times change and nowadays at rick's my age you can have sex you have it with anybody or anywhere. Who plug does mike okay next question's from ashley. Would you get engaged if you didn't have the money for a nice ring slash the ring your fiancee wanted so i'd say my boyfriend and i were getting married and for me personally i don't care. I was actually she added. I i was i was at burke yesterday and i was shopping around and the woman was like oh look in the engage at the engagement rings and i'm like how much is this like sixty sixty thousand dollars on my sixty thousand engagement ring. You could find the same ring somewhere else right. I'm like i for me. It's just it's crazy that the guy has to spend that much money i mean of course it's pretty but i think why not spend the money that you know spend spend the money on what you could afford and then save david on a house or saving for your children's education. That's exactly what i did so i knew that i wanted to propose to my now wife and at the time i said i don't we don't have endless list amounts of money but i knew i wanted to propose. I knew we were ready to get married. So <hes> i bought a ring that i could afford and i propose and then somewhere down the line when when we were doing better in our lives and we had more money for an engagement i surprise her and took her and we took the stone from that original ring and she picked out a new band and we put that stone own and so it's still has the original stone but she had a much nicer ring. Why because you don't have enough money. You're going to put off getting married. I didn't see that yeah. I agree with you to meet. You and i also think you that's something you can build upon so like you. Have you have a diamond or you have a story that you like and then you can make a bigger one soon as you know as you move on three months salary things things. That sort of thing is supposed to be three months pay really. That's what i heard old-timey. Get people to tell us if that's still a thing because that is just super from i'm well. How much is it ringo for. When i heard sixty thousand dollars was primarily based in him up on craigslist. Dollar ring is pretty common but you could get a great ring for five thousand dollars. The trick is like with with property. Find someone that's going through a bad <hes> divorce and they're willing to sell it for cheaper and if you don't care about like you know bad <hes> emoji or whatever goodwill or something maybe a thrift store go the thing is the design and not necessarily the size of swimming now that i'm like i'm always looking at women's hands to see what their rings look like some trying to get an idea media and i saw this woman that the diamond was in big but it was it was originally was <hes> like a teardrop or appeared pear shape with like little begets on the side <hes> but the diamonds were very very small but it was so original and beautiful diamond bam like it just depends who you are but that should not be a reason to not get engaged like that is his yacht bleep in my engagement ring was big meal lane thank you it was big. It was too big bucks. You can't mouth answers on a podcast because we can't get that rain. It was too big for me when she was describing the ring. You kinda shuttered for a second when you heard back yet. Were you thinking carbs. Who don't want to get back myra grocer okay. Lisa wants to know if guys get insecure. She says <hes> do they ever feel like a girl might be too good for them. So that's why they won't approach a girl or swipe on the app. What do you think i think so too. Yeah i think i think there is definitely get insecure. Weird already complex. I think sometimes i mean we're sitting here with you. Johnny handsome. I mean how do you not feel come on little insecure not like it. If <hes> woman is more successful than them. I personally love it. So what's funny. Actually is this girl. I did a little bit last year for some time is a very very successful commercial real estate agent and she says she's beautiful girl and she says she goes on dates frequently right and she would meet all these guys and she makes like five times as much money as they do in all of them would like shy away from her for it but that's like that's like literally one of the sexiest things you could possibly tell me like that's so sick that you're like a determined successful like driven person. Obviously i heard a lot of guys are getting insecure by her telling them that my wife is the c._e._o. Of a company of of a big company out to me that's that's hot hot like. I don't want her being like oh. How was worried like she. She is brilliant. She went to business school and i think that's a turn on and i have zero insecurities about that because if they're putting that much effort into their work they're going to they know what it takes to have something successful accessible so that can translate into a marriage as well and she knows how difficult it is to be a co host of a podcast then it is very challenging rick. What do you think <hes>. I think it's i. I get insecure about that. No i think it's actually a huge accomplishment. If the woman or the significant other actually is very successful i think it's i think it's a turn turn on. I think it's <hes> i think i mean why would you wanna have or feel insecure about somebody. That's working their own tail in yeah thanks great and in general i mean when we did our podcast and tahoe rick. Did it in a speedo so he doesn't get into that comes a lot of. I don't know exactly what it is but yeah. No i do because i saw him. I'm just saying it's impressive because a lot of practice. I don't know we have one final segment and rick obviously with your blessing. We i wanna eat her on. Okay peters your son. Yes extremely handsome thank you he's in grade eight so peter and i and i because all of us met peter on the elevator and i swear i was like this is like eighteen. You must be a senior in high school or something like that. He shakes my hand. He literally put my hand half because he's got the strong scrip. I've ever seen blown away by this kid. When i was thirteen years old i was like the biggest loser in the world and this kid has something that just no other has so we're going to talk to him a little bit and see what dating as a thirteen eighteen year olds in eighth grade is like nowadays actually thought he was a child actor when the elevator i was like oh what movie are you. If you know people who do know about the bachelor astra franchise. He looks like a many robert graham. Yes you said i i know i could definitely see. It's the knows it's the lips looking. Thanks you're saying that a peter was pulled from class earlier today. He was taking a history test but we pulled him out to bring him to this podcast. What is it like for you to be dating as an eighth grader. It's very awkward cord. Do you have a girlfriend yeah do record. You know about that. Why how many girlfriends i do. I didn't know about this one. I like that answer. Why is it weird today. That's an eighth grader later because everybody's going through puberty and you can be at different stages. So how did you and your girlfriend school. And how long have we've been dating for two years long relationships for marino for a year and have you guys kiss each other. You know okay. Okay okay playing it slow. I respect that a lot when you had your first kiss. I was in first grade. That's why god it. It was weird now looking back on it. It was i was in first grade nikki web early. Bloomberg remember named does peter effort comes to you for advice not now no no not anymore. No yeah i think in the future we'll we'll have the sit down but yeah i mean most of the advice that he's going through. He talked to as mother about in terms of the girlfriends and stuff. What is what is it like what their relationship you guys text each other. You talk on the phone as each other at school we text each other and school okay in at school yeah so there's not a lot of face time going on or hanging out on her saying well one time we facetime and we fell asleep on the face time then my mom got you. That's really romantic. That's cool saturday's that over the phone all the time because i woke up twelve and and there were also they didn't have they didn't have a minute but admitted that it was all right that's right so what is it about this girl that personality yeah. You guys have a lot in common yeah exactly four years very allergic to bees. Oh okay simpler time simpler. You know the older you get get the more it takes but yeah when you're eighth grade. I'll take a listen. I want to avoid these me too. Let's go hang out together honey are you do you until you guys go to high school or through high school and all that kind of stuff. Maybe i don't know he's we're only thirty one old. Yeah what you don't ask somebody at that age about how we should be asking you. I'm just trying to get to know him and his girlfriend a little bit better but so you don't know yet. That's at the end of the day eh. What are you gonna kiss her. You have any plans to her. I feel like us a common the moment yeah so how does somewhat thirteen <hes> how does a thirteen year old decide this. This is my girlfriend like what makes it your girlfriend. We just talk about it like. I think it's through time. Okay get to know the person so you're talking about it for a while and then eventually like let's just boyfriend girlfriend yeah and so if she was like talking to another boy you'd get probably pretty jealous not really know the confident. That's healthy. That's good. I don't know where he gets it from but all right well hey peter. Thanks for sharing about the relationship. We wish nothing but the best obviously because it's a little too early apparently only be asking her. If he's the one asking well listen. I think for sure because you know what it takes. The you know when you know the one yes you do now but that's my point. He's thirteen like he. He should be thinking eater. Reveal are they in stu- officials gladio hermano insta- official. What have you posted a fiction. Post your picture on your instagram. No no what are you waiting for. Well i don't know is that a true thing. Do are you actually officially dating when and somebody posted a picture of the person that then you'd get bullied get bullied. Why would you get bullied because you're being too romantic yeah candidate eight hundred and what eighth grade and eighth grade until high school for that listen peter when you want to know more about girls i know you wanna ask your dad just listen to the helmet think think podcast and he doesn't allow me to but at the time i would rather you. Have you know balancing. You know thoughts has just hearing because i know what your dad thinks about stuff. It's okay listen to the group. Okay maybe second dating to in conjunction with you. Get a good economy there. I all right. We got to wrap it up because we are going to go watch baseball game. Thank you guys for joining us on this episode any for your big moment yes. I'm actually seeing the national anthem tonight. We'll put some weird reason. They let me do that. I don't i don't know why are you really no. I'm just bringing up all out to the pitcher out of not bringing the that's a big deal. Are you throwing the pitch bringing the ball out bringing the ball out. I did the first pitch out of the angels game actually a couple of months ago which is pretty cool. Did you throw a strike. I'd right down the middle nine hundred baseball in like a decade and i i didn't practice that's perfect which is better than most of the angels pitchers are doing right now. Big thank you to a hotel via for hosting us hotel. Via is a new boutique hotel in san frans- most dynamic neighborhood the rooftop patio hotel is is it three thousand square foot rooftop lounge that delivers some of the most stunning and dramatic scenery in san francisco located across the street from the iconic oracle park the most beautiful ballpark in america and a half mile from the state of the art chase center hotel via is at the epicenter of the best is a beautiful hotel and i actually had the food i had <hes>. I dined already ready so foods amazing. Their croissants are great. Salads are amazing so big. Thank you to check out their podcast. It's on iheartradio and you guys are killing it right. I remember your first episode who had like the number one rated episode of all or something like ever number hilarious. I mean humble s._o._b. What's number listen to podcast in history. <hes> just reflect on a little bit. I'm kind of like. I feel like i'm at a stage in my life. I don't really give yeah. I will share stories how i feel and i think that's the whole point of the show. You know how many think having fun doing it. That's great fantastic. Thanks for having it makes for having a song should puccini as well for joining us and we will talk to you next week. We'll give you some paradise updates. Hopefully we'll all be together other next week. I think we might be what you probably be from my bedroom anyways to next week. Where maybe we will suck a little bit less. Follow help by suck dating with dean ian vanessa and jared on iheartradio or wherever you listen to podcasts. This is how many think my name is brooks like. I'm gavin to girl man we got. I didn't have a line after after we're we're trying to be as honest with you as we possibly can without well without killing our own career this is this is unscripted unfiltered raw. Is there a five. I use the phrase loosely gentlemen sitting around discussing everything you guys wanna know so intense seconds or less how many think what it is an education of all men different ages man code decoded abu. I don't know if i could say damn. I can't even follow that up the tagline yeah yeah well. Let's go with that. How many think is available now everywhere. You listen to podcasts.

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