86 - Gladiator, Part 6 FINALE


The Standard Thirty Second Radio Commercial is about seventy five words but this one has twice as many words so that I can talk really fast not as fast as the Formula One inspired electric italianate pro cards autobahn indoor speedway in events that can go up to fifty miles per hour which is more than twice as fast as the Karcher father used to put her around in unless speaking of Italian. Your father is Mario Andretti his this carts may have been faster but only slightly these turn on a dime accelerating seconds and we'll satisfy your need for speed and even if you burn out you'll never burn up in our air-conditioned track designed after the world famous Lamont's course this is the fastest commercial in Washington D._C.. From the place that has the fastest carthew of ever driven Autobahn Indoor speedway in events located in Dulles in Manassas a small liberal when a script is written that is so bad no one will fill eh these brave podcasters will bring it to life just so they can mock it. This is table reads so the movies report which means your script Ain't worth the bubble sheet on a nickel with SEAN MC B and Joshua Baker and Jeff Lewis Lewis Jeffrey Lewis our favorite maximus and permanent gets Maximus decimates Louis boy order. If decimates was his middle name like so they like a wrestler name like he just made competition. That's something that they add after like your twenty th year like I thought it was the last thing was father to a murdered a husband to a murdered wife. This is Cerny third and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next esquire. These taxes are going great so welcome everybody a two part six gladiator to say this is all blending together one great menagerie of content. You know this is probably the best script anyone has ever written Josh you're supposed to the to the wall. No one of those no no crickets. What am I should really have crickets on this thing and I don't? I guess I'm just to completely enamored with my own Joe. I'm so Goddamn. Entertain no need no damn crickets crickets everybody. Everybody's laughing right yeah yea I'm sure how are we work. No crickets this. That's not the one I for this one. It's a little laggy today. Everything's going wrong technically. That was Meta Shit. You don't need when you get so I'm just GONNA. I'm just going to move on previously on table ream alright so maximus is dead but then he goes to these gods in the afterlife and then he does a chest burster move out of a Christian so he's alive now sort of and he finds his son who doesn't remember him because he's been adopted by Christian teacher also he finds means Communist is done Lucius who is not emperor for some reason but is a Primo Dickhead who kills his son's adopted teacher Father Christian with some pens because the pen is mightier than the sword in this ham fisted bullshit that we're reading and then this leads him to immediately him Lucius to immediately abandon all his life long held deeply held beliefs in Christendom and forgiveness and turning the other cheek and he's like yes. Let's get all our Christian friends together and have a murder party montage and all of them despite their parents not having been murdered with pens are like yeah. Let's do this murder party. We'll go out to the hippie farm and and gather and train and have a murder party against the Romans a reverse murder yeah. Do you guys want to go to the hippie farm and get murdered. They're they're killing first line of every cheap horror movie the other cheek my friend. Hey you guys want to go to the farm and get murdered. Someone chases us. We can just hide in the creepy shed with all the saws hanging from the girders makes sense. Welcome the Rome well. I got my Airbnb at James's uh they got this weird teepee filled with mushrooms and mushroom hut right that was the best part so when we left off Juba was looking forward to killing Lucius and maximus his son. Marius was standing ominously in the doorway for reasons. I don't remember hold on one second. How do you know that Juba is looking forward to killing Lucy? His last line of dialogue was I look forward to killing that man interest cinema such a magical media is really a show. Don't tell I wish Maria's was holding a pen maximus. Let me tell tell you everything. I am feeling really looking forward to killing that man and your ass. I'm going to write him out of this with this. Uh Feed in music ended perfectly and I just was a little early on the fate in that could have been perfect. It is perfect. It is because I'm going to edit it so everyone listening at home. We'll go Dan that was tight. Why are they talking about it? As if it wasn't interior farmhouse of James Outside Rome Day very very dramatic maximus stands before Marius James and Justin in a room of the farmhouse outside the sounds of the Christians training can be heard is the somewhere the women and children can go. Yes I mean yes arrange. It makes you all the houses empty. No one should remain justin leans forward. Are we ready are we are you prepared. maximus stares at Justin we will amass as planned in the woods in the previously on. I really should've mentioned how much staring there was yeah. An inordinate amount of staring thing like to end scenes like seven different scenes they play them off like a Telenovela. Yeah it was like your cousin did it and sometimes it wasn't even they stare at each other but it was like next and mysteres at Juba Juba a stares at maximus cut to listen. I have to tell you Marius is my internal seen grown and you and you know you have to hold on that shot for a while to convey that they're staring at each each other so 'cause they're just looking at each other. In less it goes on for a while and anytime that you're holding on that shot of two people staring at each other. It's only appropriate to end it when it's awkward. Yeah like to convey that they're staring at each other. It has to be awkward right true so you know there's some poor editor is going to be in post going like I need to throw in some wacky background dialogue augur something so this doesn't just come across as weird. This is the final show Lucian last name. I forgot the last name placeholder stairs that Lucius yeah he swallows between Lucius and Lucy. I don't think we've been pointing that out as many times yeah yeah yeah we were like who's that because he wouldn't took a nap in the back. It's like I'm GonNa go to sleep on this. In the morning. You're all dead coming for you later that was when he referred to marry us as Lucia or Lucius. Whatever this script is bad? It's pretty puck until which maximus were talking about the the main or Deuba Tubas wife maximum at that Comma one time. I don't have crickets on here. I can't make a grim exterior huge square in Rome morning. Massive altars have been set up in various squares seven of them exact amounts roughly fourteen feet tall by great cues of citizens have formed before the altars among them they have thousands of animals goats chickens etc in cages on leads in their arms with lightning rods. There is much commotion and Confusion Fusion Guards Stand at the altar with lists citizens walked to the altars give their names swear their allegiance to Rome and slaughter an animal in ritual sacrifice which was a Christian thing probably a rhinoceros <hes> well. It was the pre Chris Chris Christian thing it was a Judeo thing yeah animals. I think Jesus was like he'll guys the old you can stop killing your goats this man you could kill them if you're gonna eat them but like I'll I'll just take ten percent of all your money. How `bout I mean that's less than your goats? 'cause like it's already dead. What am I gonNA do with it? You know what. Them saying not to be that guy but this was actually the plot <hes> this is the emperor had their rank. They're sacrificing because the Christians won't do it and then that will out them as Christians this is this is the census this is the citizenship question on the senses but instead you kill a goat or you don't and if you don't the I._N._S.. On you in them I did remember that that's the point I was bringing up is like the right up until Jesus. I think Christians were also partaking in this and I don't recall anything in Roman in mythology about animal sacrifice to the gods well then they won't have a problem with with I mean I feel like most of the sacrifices to the gods were like women giving up their V. Card Zeus. Oh <music> better yet wild. I mean if I had to pick a religion the one where there's a lot of fucking who gets to go around. Can I wear the cloud hat the guards the guards tick their name names of the census see. It's census question. This is a topical script dipped about ancient Rome that was written twelve years ago. It is a scene of horrible carnage the streets sound with the screams of animals and run with their blood very weirdly worded right the streets sound with the screams. Maybe it makes sense if you say it in an Australian accent the straight sound Roy screams of animals and run with that blood that's it's actually better. I'm with it makes makes remorse exterior huge square in Rome just read all of that exterior the woods the sunset the two hundred Christians have amassed in the woods they have set up makeshift camps and sit around fires eating and drinking maximus and Maria's move about amongst them in the dying dying light. I really really want this thing to end with. These two hundred Christians going against the Roman army and just being slaughtered in like fourteen seconds and Maximus just standing. They're in the back with his kid going. Well me now kid we did it actually like what if the fights in the middle of it and he's like. I wanted to know your father what we don't need any of this and they know they've been cited wars only doing this because my father is dead but here you are by the way this was a trick. I'm for Rome now. What do you want for me? What are you want that to exterior streets of Rome morning? The Sun has risen in over Rome and Lucius ready for business rot. Wait what these comments were weird so it sounds like the sun has risen over Roman Lucius but light. Here's the proper reading the Sun has risen over Rome and Lucius ready for business rides through the streets accompanied by six guards ready for business is he was. He's laying on a very sexy cop. Watching Juban is glistening body. All six of you get in here. If there are six of you that means you can be strewn about twenty trees who because those three were strewn about ten trees or seven. I don't know I don't care streets of Rome morning. Another group of four guard or guard right skewing streets of Rome. That's eleven eleven guard. We are mouthing where plus Lucienne Interior Christians Home Rome morning Lucius and his guards kick open doors and enter Christians Chins home what all the Christians have one house. One Guard holds a list in his hand. The House is empty. Lucia stands in the middle of the front room while the Guard's disappearance appearance the other rooms of the house. The guards returned to Lucius lures. No one here fire Lucius kicks over a table Interior Christians home room afternoon the other four guards kicking another Christians door. One Guard holds a list once again. The house is empty the guards marching through the house overturning tables and chairs so you know cover that claim I'll fuck up there burns. No we were here. Those poops show them piss on their fish necklace on their face as when they come home to a house they're better than stormtroopers. At least troopers echelons locked move along they're doing this shit on a budget to the cuts are crazy. There's only like four here and seven Evan. They're they're doing for profitability. It's using as few personnel they possibly can to start the Crusades Exterior Square in Rome late afternoon Lucius and his ten guards. Where did he get these other guards <music> the budget those those four in the second apartment split off the other six Roman sesame street six guards close four yards gets worse Lucius in his ten guards commit up in a square lucious faces full of rage? He watches US another five guards of course one of the five guards horse of solutions the word problem if they give you the fucking S._A._T.. You need one of those like army planning maps the little figures just read the script in a push the guys with your stick my roll for initiative ray foul no one fire. All the houses have been abandoned. That's how that guy talks. Lucius looks around him in a state of fury. It's Hollis. Nobody was Paul. It's pose a man yes. Maybe it has a man or you will not find them. In Rome Lewis spins around in his saddle and looks at a man Hollis standing before him or you wait wait standing before him. He had to turn around to look at him. That's the opposite of standing before him standing standing behind him. How did he spin around in his saddle? Oh you don't have those Lazy Susan Silo Benny Hill Soundtrack horses behind so now let's go with who are you. The ones you seek heff lead sled. They are hiding in the woods cya in in hundreds Lucia spins around his horse addresses. The guard wait no no before he spun around in the Saddle. Now he spun the Horse or still phasing out to the as many turned the favorite word com. He's like the kid in the back of the station wagon on the on the back yeah and he's sticking his tongue out at the guys Jeez News Okay lucious on the guards thunder away Hollis stands alone in this where guys guys I'm GonNa put money on the table right now. We will never see or hear impolitic game yeah. How did he get to with the name? Your won't find them. They're gone. What do they show him standing alone wou- even yeah yeah the guard said that I found a note or something like he didn't write up from the woods and go there hiding in the woods I found him? He May as well be wearing a shirt that says I'm going to send you to a trap. The interior quarters of the emperor desio this evening Desi stands on the balcony of his quarters staring out at the streets below. Lucia centers keeps his back to Lucius. Lucius is intensely agitated Cya. I expected to hear much agony and World Lucius. I expected to smell the they're on the blogger but I'm standing here loosening and hear nothing but empty wind desio sniffs the air and smell only the sweet honeysuckle and end electrocuted. Those are all around. This is the guy that didn't WanNA murder all the Christians right. He said don't murder them. Hey Lucius haven't even hand or something like that. Hey you can go after that teacher just arrest him and not by like standing his out of his down. How you arrest? I arrested his heart. Sir Loophole Motherfucker who's a dead monkey careful Lucia steps forward. They have fled Cya all of them three dead Wa. I missed the one you're supposed to guess he is deceased continues to stare out over the city which is going to hold shaw for Awhile sled. I've been informed. They are hiding in the woods. I thought it'd be a great idea to come visit you. I instead I have settled some guards. The verify side of this presents a perfect opportunity to need lucious two things sire a need troops. You don't have those twenty. What's what what did you just send to verify guards? Oh yeah fifteen plus seventeen three per geic. We have twenty one. If I told you I have turn God's if five more guards join me and one goes to check on counting advocates Click Click Click Click Click there are there are three gods coming at me at fourteen Cubans an hour. One of them is a ghost ridge align again two things Cya any troops troops your blessing sire does he has turns to Lucius. He stares at him for a long time. Does he a slowly nods his head of course you do of course you do what this guys know Dumbledore. What's his? He needed his blessing but he's also like where's the blood yeah. Are you okay with me killing him. I feel that they they are the same person. This is another instance of like. Are we having two different conversations. I wear all the blood I need your permission to kill some people the ones I'm now complaining that you haven't killed. He reminds we need to face. Are you going to kill the troops. I give you exterior the woods outside room late evening. In the Woods Woods Maximum Maria sit together beneath the stars. There is a small fire which throws it's light up into their faces onto their faces maximum Marias share some bread and a skin of wine. There is mad talk talk amongst the men. What are they saying? Maria smiles they say you were a great gladiator returned from the dead jean-marc Jerry from the dead as you said Marius Mad mad talk. We believe you will lead them to glory. Let them do so belief can be a powerful thing. There is a silence between maximus Mario's. What do you believe in Maximus? I was a soldier mar beliefs were of little important to hear them talk. You're a great general or was a soldier I loved and served my emperor Dumbledore but as a man are believed in the goodness of my wife and son on on the battlefield within the horror of doll I held that belief in my heart like a terrible thing trembling Oh boy thinking about this group like it's aw market trembling thing a belief that would that there would be an into it all the death and the bloodshed in our would stand beside them once more and they would take in from you. I can build them with me now. Now he touches him creeps along grabs father to surviving bother to a Christian asshole wants murdered son. I thought you did a man approaches maximus Mario's. He squats down by them. It's police nobody knows his Paula's anytime. It says a man they know we're here. I don't know how how did he get here first day. He did that that morning. This is the evening it's actually Mordechai Oh for for about <hes>. I don't know I feel no. That's all came to do. They know we are here. maximus nods policy stands and moves off. This is some character development year. What does schyster Maximus Miss looks at Marias that was convenient to they will be here in the morning? It is better you sleep. My father was also a great soldier. Maxima stokes the fire the yellow light on his face my my true father my blood father that we've established. He has no memory no he does not remember. I guess when it's convenient to move the plot along when we have like four pages full of Shit born Maximus stop stoking the fire and looks at Maria's yes. I did not know him. He was never there was away my father forever at war with being dead. I Guess Laureus lies on the ground. Impose a blanket over himself back PSOMAS stares into the fire on or just GonNa Stare at the fire for while you're fire fully cracking noise ch Oh you know what the whole time Ooh. That's a big fire also got some knighthoods cricket amid YEAH THERE WE GO. That's fires to the mom confide good night father exterior something exterior road out of room morning. Lucius leads an army of four hundred Roman soldiers on horseback along the road. The Morning Sun Beats you know Nikei was going to be onset going. He's at four hundred I I count three hundred ninety eight saw Michelle the door. We're trying to get a head count. He's standing at the extras ten as they walk out with a clicker. Do full six eight you you beat number you. What's your number? This is secondhand. Don't worry the people can't hear my alerts going off on my computer. You ruined that we'll do it every time now do not disturb. We are real professional outfit here. Pros- The morning Sun Beats Down Lucia sits powerful imperious in the saddle presumably facing forward this time I march you know Zach where's backwards. Listen you just push a button on his back and he just says come over again but while he's facing toward the back of the worst he's going to but this sword L L. I feel like that needs to be the final like <hes> graphic. We need to get all right <hes> exterior the woods outside room evening. There's the ones the two hundred Christians stand in the woods standing there all of them they burn torches and there are campfires dotted about Maria aureus stands before them behind Marias and separate from the proceedings stand maximus and Juba Mario steps forward. Let us pray the Christians kneel down on Mass Marias to uh-huh kneels down maximus and Juba do not neil but stand and watch the proceedings Juba. Yes my friend you do not have to do this. Juba smiles it would appear that you are under some kind of allusion maximus that you can do this without me. Maxima Smiles Juba stares out at the Christians after a time maximus turns his head and looks behind him through the trees. There is a faint rustling maximus Steve's Steve sees the shape of a stag moving eerily through the growth he watches the shape of the stag as Maurice Praise Juba continues to watch the Christians his smile gone exterior rise and plane near woods can late morning. Let me interject do it so maximus couple months back. They will be here in the morning next scene morning here. They come then. We're in the evening and says late morning. They know no read eighty seven right after morning okay yeah and now we're in late morning so it's been three days. It's Li evening when he's talking to Maria's Mario about how he's his dad but not saying it and then it's morning when Lucius is leading his army out and now we're back to evening as the Christians are standing in the woods and now it's late morning all standing there standing in the evening for today's just days of travel. Leaking between two different days right that makes sense I mean linear storytelling is is for the plebes not for some more than for wherever we all night here Paul. I mean look at us. We're Australia. We have Christmas in the summer. We can do what we focused like policies. He shifts between time and space. They're not here. Are we've in here like he's there instantly those Mexico in preemptively. I'm going to snitch real curious about their hiding over there all know they know where where we get a boys. It's like he skims the back of a book about the spy Garbo enrolled. I'm GonNa Incorporate that but you know what I think we should get the fuck Outta here for a minute return of it is brief word from our sponsors. What's up Docs and DOC? It's Trevor Thompson the self-appointed Burlington's critic here and if you like old cartoons and watching online reviewers dissect them then you probably said the same thing I did about two years ago. Hey what the fun every Saturday morning I do a brand new commentary of Warner Brothers short all throughout the month. I do video essays examining the history of these cartoons tunes catch my videos on YouTube dot com slash ferris wheel house too or just use the Hashtag looney tunes credit. Now here's Eric thousand the new Voice of bugs bunny critic here. It comes again in lunch. 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I think I think the road the the woods outside Rome are like way outside Rome like South Africa for some because police made it out there within like an hour. Don't actually just call the number you make really good time. Riding Your horse forward. I got he ain't line more would be so much easier if I can see where I'm going all right so let's get back into shape fade in exterior rise in plain near woods late morning wait yeah. That's where we are where we are late morning. The army stands along the rise looking out over the plane at the large woods. How many soldiers did he have? Four hundred four heart is four hundred train room and soldiers on horseback against two hundred Christians were pacifists and tell this morning standing in the woods well until three days ago they had at least three days to chess hacking pay bills. No no they've in most spending most of that time standing they were training a few days ago. They were eating and drinking hanging around a campfire too so yeah they've also been writing with loosen staring at them so they're gonNA. They're gonNA start selling burning Ed marshmallows Adam the other team welcome to the farm of James The final paragraph so guys we headphones these mushrooms as in all but now we need to fight so we're GONNA bust out the P._C._p.. The woods are good for standing for days on guys. If we just stand real still those Romans will think that we are and they will think further that the trees are us and they will decimate the trees and then when they have gone we will take the trees and we will turn them into houses just an I don't know about this murder Bharti rover pacifist the word murder means. I felt this don't tablet shall not kill people mm-hmm nothing about murder murders like that thing that that they over there that are marching at us did to Jesus. If you recall oh bro they murder we bring to Christ that's the diff- and they will nail us all to trees and we will all be as one with Christ's. Welcome the crucifix in Forest Forrest. I am I am loving this plan. Guys let us fuck. Do this Justin you the best what what is with the swords guys. Where are your a hammer and nail is not what we were signed up for? No that's it. You'RE GONNA play the one track. Get outta here with that Shit. No not that one either. I'm I'm just real fucking coast. It's hey we're worrying. Rise in planes army stands alone along. Oh Yeah <hes> lucious on horseback ride slowly along the the front of the ranks surveying the troops lucious takes. I hope he has the exact dialogue from the beginning of of O- on my mark unleash hell read Lucius takes up position at the front of the amassed army. Lucius looks down at the plane before him and at the woods lucious draws his sword. We're only talking about the actions of one character and again he saying his name with every line lucious has a line draw Lucius and the Roman army surged forth down the rise and across the plane there is a great and spectacular spectacular thundering of horses as they go. This is again morning. We went back to evening and now it's morning again Miriam. It's late morning even so it's not even real morning exterior the woods late morning. We're finally on the same page here. There's a lot of direction you're fucking rather lucious leads his army as they gallop across the plane. The army enters the woods on horseback. They continue into the woods. lucious holds up his hand and the army thunders to a halt all is eerie and still light filters through the trees. The horse's snort. It's an important detail. Lucia swings around in his saddle looking in all directions throwing around and I think he's not on a horse. I think he's just a sex swing at a couple of guys are carrying just fucking fidget spinner on the back Christian stand suddenly Leeann Fire Arrows many soldiers are hit as they are ambushed by the Christians soldiers fall from their horses General Mayhem Lucius and his army dismount and a bloody ground battle ensues because is they give up their the advantage of being on horseback. Why would you do that? You wouldn't dismount like you never would ride through and shop everybody up. This is medieval battle. What a one give them a fighting chance? They're just dumb Christians. These horses have been marching for three street fucking gays data rest maximus from behind the three. They're they're they're Uber Horses. They gotta go pick up other fairs. We don't have horses dude own cool. No one told US THIS IS GONNA be a horse battle. You should've texted me. Bro Road Thrones never been so busy and a bloody ground a battle ensues Christians die soldiers die. I doubt that maximus plows into soldier's Sword Flying Juba drag soldiers from their horses and slaughters them. There is a long and terrifying ground battle. We've already assange. Juba is overpowered by three soldiers who bear down on him. Maxima sees this and throws his sword and kills a soldier before he can deliver the death blow. Juba stands Lucius appears years behind him and cuts Juba Throat Juba falls to the ground and dies with the fuck maximus runs for Lucius. Lucia sees maximus coming and mounts his horse Lucius charges off through. He mounts his horse to run away. I didn't know about this horse. The backwards way just like them all killed your boyfriend Maximus dismounts horse and charges after him. Maria sees this and mounts his horse. The trees whipped past. There's a lot of mounting going on in Juba is not even around for home and go as you please fight over the <music> clearing Lucia stallions stallion stumbles and Lucius thrown from his horse Maximus dismounts Lucius stands Lucius unsheathes his sword maximus Miss Sword drawn approaches Lucius they fight it is a long and bitter battle maximus wounds Lucius in the arm. Sir Lucius holds his arm and drops his sword and stares into maximus his face maximus raises his sword to deliver the death blow. Only at your hands maximus an Arrow flies through the air Erin sticks through Lucia says Nick Maximus turns to see Mario standing there with a bone his hand Lucia staggers his face full of surprise lucious Dis Mario. Let's go fall from ah he is covered in blood. Why all he has done is get on a horse chase after some guys and then shoot a guy in the neck from afar Nah? This motherfucker is a stone cold killer use other slashing shit hit Christian while you guys were having a battle. I was over here murdering thirty people your they were other Christians. Whatever remember that P._C._p.? You mentioned turned enough Mario's the beserk I would. I'd like to buy more weapons with these teeth. You certainly could use them since I took them from your face. Give me your Sard. I will put their back would be a better extent. You give me your sword. You will be able to eat meat. He's covered in blood. Marias looks about him at the butchered corpses of Christians and soldiers alike Marias looks up to the heavens clouds rumble across cross Maria's face is a mask of anguish and regrets. Oh Lord what have I done. What have we done not I've I've done Marias drops to his knees? Take no responsibility for what have we aw you what have we done. James runs into the clearing covered in blood pumped up from the fight. They are retreating. They will be back. Mario still kneeling looks at Maximus. maximus looks at Mary. With what do we do now. Maximus and Maria's continue to look at each other. Do we regroup and we fight James Turns and heads Ed's back into the Woods Maxim Arias remain in the clearing after a comma for some reason they look at one another all is still there is a crack cracking of undergrowth and a stag crashes into the clearing leering three arrows stick out of its neck one out of its side it moves unsteadily into the clearing it stretches back its neck and bellows mournfully lightning strikes it and bellows mournfully maximus watches the stag Max the stag watches maximum maximum watches the STAG maximus kneels down picks up some earth and rubs it into his hands because has you remember that from the first member close up of maximus his hands as he rubs dirt into them so he may be did watch like the first ten minutes of the movie before the battle. This is like middle the fucking battle dead bound like all right now get serious exterior battlefield Middle East Day. Who've maximus stands he is dressed in chain mail and covered in a white uniform uniform with a Red Cross on it? He holds a sword in his hand. He is surrounded by hundreds of Crusaders in similar attire. He looks up an Army of Muslims. The send their war cries his are ferocious they fight Herath a horrific battle. maximus remains untouched exterior the woods Rome laid morning the stag shot with arrows stumbles and drops to it's knees. He's exterior another battlefield Europe close up of maximus his hands as he rubs snow into them. Max maximus stands in the middle of another battle more modern in a field field of blood and death and snow exterior the woods Rome late morning. The stag falls onto its side it moans it's reading the script clearly exterior another battlefield Europe again next miss stands in the middle of another battlefield armored tanks bear down automatic weapons maximus fights soldiers fall around around him. Is he still wearing the crew. He's Syria the Yes. He's replacing God people. What was that Kelly you? Did you skype Kelly O.. Siri thought that we called her and she heard what was that at Kelly and she responds interesting question. Sean shut up bitch rails. We're losing early on it. Okay well. You know I think I think nick cave was like like crunchy. Only three pages less than this spring altogether put all oil and I've just set up that they're gonNA have another battle. Last battle took me like full sentences to describe. I don't know what I'm GONNA do off. Promise Tom Travel. I know this motherfucker is GonNa fall into a wormhole by wanted to see tanks. maximus versus tanks. This'll be cool eight a to maximus versus tanks gladiator win a fucking all Scott Gladiator coal and Black Tar heroin <music> Panzer dancer the Saigon Shuffle to cash drawer Black Hawk down the re the the continuing adventures of Maximus desma radius so I like that better than the script maximus stands in the middle of another battlefield. Did that exterior Rome late late morning. The stag dying is rolls. The stags dying is roles. I read the stags dying I rolls in its head just the one that's fine dining Mr macgonagall man moody. I am going to tell Kelly that you mixed up. I never read honestly I have not read a single book. I watched the movies like once who the fuck is Harry Potter Harry Potter. That sounds like a dude that I'd meet at James's farm another battle Vietnam Day. Hey maximus stands jungle carnage choppers flame throwers. He's getting less and less descriptive. He started with these wearing chain mail now and there's Muslims and he's got a Red Cross on his chest and everything and now it's just Joe carnage shoppers flame throwers learn moving on just words quick. You tell me five words that you associate with the Vietnam War go fuck a jungle cover flame. It's only a four fuck it gladiator exterior the woods Rome late morning close up of the STAG's mouth agape lowing horribly Oh. I don't know what a deer sounds Townsley. You're you're pretty close. Interior bathroom Pentagon Washington a Pentagon bathroom now close up maximus Roth's rubs a cake of soap between his hands under a steaming tap maximus looks up. He is in a clean sterile men's room. He washes his hands in a bassin. The Bassin is one of three in a row dome sink. Okay how come how come he spent more time describing a bathroom sink than all of the Vietnam War because this is he. It's one it's five five. Were you know what I have to Sabe the ending. Don't walk and then there's a knock on the door. Please hurry up in the bathroom. Mr President cut to Maximus maximus doing coke writing this script county here moments ago. He wakes up. It's all a dream. McKay's couch wishes this girl on his bed with go away as he does so he stares into the mirror above the basin. maximus looks at himself for a long time. He's been waiting for a mere auditor Rob Rob. He's been waiting for years to be invented so he could stare at somebody without. Without having to Paul we're truly in the glorious time when you can stare itself just as much as you said you could never be gleaned never used of so many things to choose from one to maybe up to three. Oh no drinking out of any of the audited explode out of a Christian. It was a hipster this time what the fuck he looks at himself for a long time he stares deep into his reflected is he is dressed in a crisp black suit and wears a tie. He continues to look at himself. He turns off the TAP. He dries his hands on a towel. He looks back into the Mirror More D._I._Y.. Is Standing Behind AH mortally his is. We're like around who was Mordechai bringing around just dove you set it already. Yes maximus until eternity itself had said its prayers. maximus adjusts his tie. He moves out of the bathroom leaving Mordechai behind and Paula's. You're here to give me another T.. Okay Hallway not interior not anything any other context. Thanks just hallway road to Rome hallway script his train me to wonder. Where are we only outside hallway? It's train me to ask what do you want. What do you want from me script or not? Using somebody roles maximus walks down a hallway under neon lights neon lights in a hall sixty hall one key passes a secretary who carries an armful of documents he opens I want to cut back to the zere and then cut back and then come back to Maximus in like starship troopers yeah an X. Wing Wing Interior Room in Pentagon Washington maximus enters room. There is a large circular table ten men men in suits sit around the table. I hope one of them's Dr Strangelove. They each have a laptop open in front of them. There is a bank of screens along one wall Al- maximus sits down at the table in a black high back leather chair. Excuse me jigs woman maximus looks at his laptop then looks at the other ten men male. Where were we the end? My feelings are hurt holy man so he never resolved anything with the sun never touched on the gods sheet again I call that only really brought Paul us back to make him an even more questionable character with one line of dialogue and then a skedaddle every death was as anticlimactic as any death could be like I remember movie. I don't remember what it was but there was some like indie movie where someone died because they were running into the house and they ran through a sliding glass door and it like cut their jugular and they just died guide. That is a better death in every death. God Damn it Jeff Looks Shell. My brain doesn't know you look like they just hit you right. Between the eyes of the Rubber Mallet I no longer jeff from nothing to everything yeah three pages the last three pages would have made for a better movie than and one hundred and eight pages last three pages also make zero sense in disregarding the time travel. This is supposed to be a real dramatic finish now. We're we're. We who is Z.. Writes this this. We're supposed to really get who this fucking guy is because he has a neon hallway. Is he a general is he. The president are we to believe that he lives eternal eternal like all flashes. They weren't just flashes. They were like he lived through all did he lived through all of it or was he being carried from one battling channel by Mordechai Mordechai or paul-louis. Are we to believe that God. I don't remember a festus yeah. Festus is he just chest bursting. They should have ended with not an x wing. Not starship troopers all him on the Nautilus bursting out of that Dude's chess sigourney weaver's like we never he never found his wife. His son didn't know who he was yeah. No there is no wrap up to anything no thing in the entire battle combat all. I don't even think the battle got rose. No did she killed. They're coming back and then he they're coming back but I really gotta get to these Crusades one month. Yuck I guess is that the funny spirit stag would like showed up before the battle like looking at the bell come out with three fucking got. This is like they're retreating man. What do we do? We're going to stay and fight except I heard there's a war with fucking flame throwers so I'm GonNa go there. Good luck. y'All you boys ever been to Phnom feel like they could could've just made this script make sense by changing the titles name from gladiator two time gladiator. I'm yeah I'm gladiator. Doesn't that sound like an awesome movie Guy Skies everybody everybody. I want you to delete that to listeners. Please go and subscribe. We're on every single platform. You could possibly find us on. We'll we'll be there go look. Were there. Subscribe download everything like us on any platform. You want visit us at table rates. We're going to go fucking write a movie right now. That's actually a great idea. Let's do before time later yeah. I know you like the most prepared guy in podcast. Did you just send us part one of the scratch he already prepped it. This is I did recent. Oh Oh I do WANNA. I WANNA give a shout out to another podcast. Actually you know at the at the first episode of a script we like to do a little bit of back story about how it came about there was another podcast called script archaeology and they we do entire episodes that are mostly delving into how these scripts came about. They also just describe what happens throughout the scripts. They don't break them out over several episodes like we do. They've done several episodes episodes on scripts that we've read here like asylum. Batman versus Superman beetlejuice goes Hawaiian. I believe is one they've done in the past. They did preacher which is how we found them because they saw our preacher episodes and we're like hey. I didn't episode about preacher to and now we're friends. I didn't know we were we have pod friends pod friends episode everybody everybody go to <hes> screenplay Archaeology Dot pod bean dot com. That's I believe their main site subscribes then listen to them there. There are a lot of fun. Some of their episodes are real long. <hes> and they've been kind enough to share some scripts with us that I hadn't even heard of that. I am very excited to get you guys in the room to read three. Oh we could we could wish I fucking anyway. Real quick plugs generally your site Joshua J. Baker Dot Com. If you like voice over stuff <hes> that was real quick also us. We're on iheartradio now. That's exciting. We're everywhere yeah. Literally anywhere that has podcasts were there you can even with a little bit of finagling. Tell Your Alexa Alexa device to play our podcast built skills yeah yeah there's there's a skill for podcasts on there and you can tell it to play table reads and it'll try to play a different podcast and you say no not that one and it will try to play the Dow and you say no not that one and then it'll wreck in then it'll say. Do you want to listen to our podcast like all the crappy context. I still have my phone. This is gonNA get so creative every time I'm going to get the podcast never so yeah go. Go subscribe please because we don't make money off of this. We just subsist on your love <music> and we're starving to we need love because we don't have it. Love me goodbye. Everybody tune in next week and we're going to have another script. I don't know what it is. We we don't know we haven't decided yet time gladiator.

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