Love what matters is presented by Subaru in the Subaru love. Promise a commitment made by Subaru and it's retailers to do right by the communities in which we all live and work Subaru's partnership with leukemia and Lymphoma Society to deliver messages of hope has more than seven hundred hospitals nationwide to learn more about how Subaru gives back visit Subaru dot com slash. Love Dash. Promise I love what matters presents. Your story is a production of love what matters and iheartradio welcome to love what matters presents your story. I'm your host Colin Balfe founder of love. What matters love matters is so much more than a brand or a company to me a few years ago? My mother got sick with ovarian cancer. Eventually the chemotherapy didn't work anymore and we knew she. She had a couple of months left to live and so in those months I was very fortunate to have a chance to say goodbye to her flying a Florida and see her and with every the meeting she would basically look at me and say you're my youngest son. I know you're GonNa have a very hard time with my death. You're going to have a very hard time with my passing. I want you to take take this pain and take this grief and use it to fuel you and use it to create something beautiful. And so that's what I've tried to do with matters. I've tried to create a place where people you can share their personal stories of hope of compassion of kindness of grief and really showcase not only the pain in life but what can can come out of that pain and a lot of times. It's really beautiful. This season on love. What matters ars presents your story? I'm sitting down with some pretty remarkable and real people to hear their raw stories. We didn't have any kids like we didn't have have any children at all on Wednesday and then Thursday came in. They were like. Oh we want you to foster child and it's not like this is like a teenager or a child that knows how to care for themselves. This is a newborn like from birth. It was just like holy cow. We're GONNA take care of this baby for six months to year. We need a car seat. We need a crew. We need diapers. We need this. We need that it was so like oh my goodness this is really happening so so we were trying to process that in like thinking about like okay. Where can we go to create workers? Go to get a car seat that kind of stuff just to be able to help these birth parents out the next day they called and said Hey they want you to adopt the baby and I was just like what so now. We didn't have kids two days as ago yesterday. We had a foster child today. We have a child in literally happened overnight within a twenty four to forty eight hour. Time arm-span our whole lives changed in the blink of an eye. I'm calling valve and this is love. What matters presents your story? Sorry today. We'll bring you a story from Sadie. Who found a great reward award at the end of a long road dealing with infertility after two years trying to conceive she and her husband received a life changing call that made them parents overnight? sadie story of perseverance has really inspired me. And I hope it does the same for you. Me and my husband actually met online on this online dating website right. I had just moved to Houston three or four months prior so I was just kind of dabbling trying to meet friends stuff like that. Just because I was new to the city so we matched on there and it was like. Oh I'm glad swiped right wasn't on tinder but it was a match. The two were deeply in love. It wanted to start having having kids as soon as possible from the very beginning like my husband and I always talked about having kids and everything like that. You know. That's what you do. You follow them. Oh you get married. You have kids best routine in October of two thousand seventeen. I got my birth control taken out because I had heard that it takes a few months for a woman's his body to get back to normal after birth control and I have been on birth control consecutively for four years so I was trying to just get ready for after the wedding so that that we could start trying like right away. I got the birth control taken out in October and then every month from them. We're just kinda trying you know tracking that kind of thing. I had went to like my doctor to get them to run different tests. Lab work stuff like that just to see like if everything was okay and as far as data tell everything was normal they just kept saying like. Oh maybe you're not getting pregnant because of your weight. So they encouraged me to you know work out stuff like that and I've always has been super active like I was an athlete in high school and Middle School. That kind of thing. I've just always been on the larger side so that was mainly the thing that they were telling me was like. Oh if you lose lose weight you'll get pregnant right away. CD had a choice to make for me. It was like I have family history of diabetes and things like that and it's always been super important to me not to pass that kind of thing onto my kids and I mean even if I didn't they didn't have it like you know like it's still a possibility but I wanted to just do everything I could to be healthy enough to raise kids. Keep up with my kids that kind of thing so I mean. I had tried everything I was going to the gym regularly. I was eating right and I just just wasn't losing as much weight and it wasn't. It's not really the wait for me because I embraced by positively and everything like that but it was more of. I'm not getting pregnant and it's because of my weight so I was trying to do everything that could so when I found out that my health insurance covered the surgery than I was on it right away like from the very beginning so in February of Twenty nineteen. I had gastric bypass surgery. which is weight loss surgery where they remove about seventy five percent of your stomach so that way you physically can't eat as much as you used to so? I had that surgery in February of Twenty nineteen and within the first month I had already lost like thirty pounds. Wants and I'm down a total of eighty right now oozing. An excessive amount of weight can change a person's fertility. But when you have a weight loss surgery like CD did doctors. I will say to wait a year to a year and a half before trying to conceive but CD didn't WanNa wait. She wanted to get pregnant but even with her surgery. It just just wasn't happening they call it a peo- a s added which is a pianist. Stick addict because like you get so obsessed with wanting to to get pregnant that you are literally taking a test every day like oh my cycles lake. Maybe I'm pregnant but everybody knows that it could be it. Could be a number of things and and then like when you're trying to get pregnant because you know when you ovulate you can start testing like twelve days after ovulation which is way before your miss period so so I was like obsessed in like taking tests regularly like I was taking tests with me to work so I could take a test at work in every time like I would take her tests it was negative and there was at one point where I had swore Assad line on the test and me and my husband like we're like okay. We're GONNA get excited because we don't know if this is real and then the second. We started getting excited was Maasai cocaine and I had went to the emergency room and everything and they were like. Oh it looks like you had an early miscarriage. was that kind of thing. But they wouldn't really say like if I was pregnant or not because they hadn't been able to test me for pregnancy at the beginning so it was like we ended up grieving miscarriage that we ended up finding out later on that I wasn't actually pregnant. So it's like you have line is like you WanNa see a positive line on a test so bad that you stare at it and you stare they are added until you see the line more with Sadie after a quick break. The Subaru Love Promise is a commitment Emmett made by Subaru in its retailers to right by the communities in which we all live and work according to the SPCA about six point. Five million companion in animals enter shelters every year in an effort to help each October Subaru retailers cluck new supplies to donate to local animal organizations in their community the Subaru also donate starter kits for new adopting families since two thousand fifteen Subaru. It's retailers and the local animal organizations wins have helped more than one hundred and forty four thousand animals across the country as someone who loves animals. I appreciate the commitment Subaru and it's retailers have made to help and care for these animals. Every little bit helps to learn more about how Subaru gives back visit Subaru dot com slash. Love Dash Promise I'm calling Balfe. Welcome back to love. Love what matters city went back to her. Obgyn who referred her to till it specialists. They ran tests on me and found out that like I was fine in completely an an they test on my husband and found out that we actually had male factor infertility. That's not something that we talk about a lot just because it's kind of personal. Oh but they told us basically like our options were to either adopt or do IVF and like the cost of IBM. It's like eighteen thousand plus each cycle. So it's like a huge expense and you don't know if you're actually going to get pregnant once we found out like that was our option. Oh the cost is way too expensive for. IVF cost is way too expensive for adoption. Maybe we're just meant to be godparents like we have two daughters and I was like well. Maybe that's we're supposed to do may were supposed to be ants to our nieces and I've always been really go. Kids time with my husband. Maybe we were literally just put on this earth to help other people take care of their kids and we just gave up. I mean it was hard but at the same time it was like a stress reliever because we had been spending so much time being obsessed with trying to get pregnant trying to get pregnant traffic pregnant that it was just taken a toll on us as individuals. It's not so much as on our relationship but just us individuals like me not feeling worthy him. Not Feeling worthy like. Why is this happening for me? So it was becoming like a thing where our whole lives were revolved around date so we were just like you know what I think is just time we take a step back in whenever something supposed to work out for us than it'll happen whenever we least least expected. It was late Wednesday night. CDs Family was preparing to go on a four day cruise to Mexico. But CD wasn't joining both she. And Jarvis Service had just started. New Jobs couldn't get off work but CDS. Little sister had forgotten her life jacket and see what the drop it off. That's when Zaid's best friend friend texted her she said Hey. Would you ever be interested in fostering or adopting a baby and I was like well. Yeah of course but the the cost for that is so expensive I was like. I don't know how anybody could actually afford that like. I'm twenty three. I don't have fifty thousand dollars just sitting around for Friday right so I just told her like yeah would but. I don't think that it's a realistic situation. And she kind of just told me like hey will I may have some. I may know of a couple. Oh that's looking to place baby up for foster care or for adoption in. I told them that I thought that you would be fit. And I was like okay and it was Kinda just I kind of blew it off because I was like. There's no way in heck that this is just GonNa fall out. The Sky. CD Jarvis discussed the idea of fostering the child and agreed we do it. They were worried about getting attached but at the end of the day they wanted to help a child in need so then we told them yeah. We'll foster the baby. Then the next they called back and said the birth parents have decided that they want you guys to adopt the baby instead and we were like what and I'm at work like literally in training in this class where I'm supposed to be learning computer systems and things so I'm sitting there and I get this phone call and I walk out into the hallway and I'm standing on the third floor. Where like all the like? CEO's and stuff are and I'm standing there in this social worker is telling me like they want you to adopt the baby. They have made it. Click to me. was she say you need to spend the weekend and start getting stuff together and I was like what do you mean she was like. You need a car seat. And why a car seat are you serious yesterday or the day before yesterday. I didn't even know anything about a baby after for almost two years of trying to have a baby. seedy Jarvis were finally being offered the chance to be parents. He was already a week and a half old At this point so he had already been born. It wasn't like we had a lot of time to prepare like most people when they adopt they find out while the birth parents are still pregnant but we found out way after after the fact it just happened so fast and it just came totally out the blue so I was in the hallway at work on the floor like literally I had slid down the wall and I was sitting sitting on the floor. Like sprawled out. Basically on the phone with the caseworker and then I had to hang up with her and called my husband and try to explain to him. And I'm like I wish I would have just called you on three way because I don't even I feel like I'm missing stuff. I don't know if I'm giving you all the information. It was just very overwhelming keeper world. Walking past me looking at me like I was crazy for sitting on a hospital floor and I was. It's just like there's some crazy stuff going on this phone. It was exciting. I was trying not to get too excited. Just because I didn't know they were going to change their minds or if it was even real but the birth parents didn't change their mind that next Tuesday. CDN Jarvis signed the paperwork at ten am directly after they went to go meet their son and for the very first time his name was Ezra more with Sadie after a quick break. The Subaru Love Promises. This is a commitment made by Subaru retailers. Do Right by the communities in which we all live and work. That's why Subaru partners with organizations across the nation to give back by delivering blankets to cancer patients patients donating supplies to animal shelters interning harder. Recycle waste into usable items. Like Park. Benches Subaru knows. Good things don't always happen by default. Sometimes the good is found in the daily choices that we make to learn more about how Subaru gives back visit Subaru dot com slash. Love Dash Promise. What is it that makes us human connects us? I would just climb up and sit and hold her and she wouldn't say anything. What are those moments that turned the ordinary into extraordinary? She would actually really make sure she took off work. So I wouldn't have to chemo by myself. I'm calling valve host of the new podcast love. What matters presents your story in my podcast? I'll be sharing real stories of love and compassion from real people all over the country. Listen and subscribe on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome back to love what matters. Let's dive back into CDs story since Ezra was born seven weeks early. He was kept in the newborn intensive care unit. So we walked in the nick. You and the nurse stopped us at the dorm. was like first of all. Who are you and we were like? Oh we're his parents and they were like. Oh okay well wash your hands and then come in and sit down so we walked in and we sat down and I just looked at him and was just like oh my goodness like this. This is a real baby. It wasn't until I held him and then the nurse said okay. Ezra here's your mommy and I was just like Oh my goodness is this is real. This is real life like I have a baby all of a sudden so much emotion just came over us so quickly and like right before we knew it. We were taking pictures taken. Our first family photo was just like it was just really unbelievable. Just like us trying to tell our families like like. Oh by the way your grandma or uncle or an aunt like just overnight was really crazy since both CD and Jarvis had started new jobs jobs they were able to take any time off while Ezra state in the Nicu but that didn't stop either of them. Every moment they weren't at work they were at the hospital with their son. So I would just go up there every single day and my husband would go up there every day before he went to work he worked night shift. Sometimes we will be there together sometimes sounds it will be just one of us. One day. My mom came with me. One day. His sister went with him so we were just it was part of our routine like we woke up. went to work went to the Nikki. That was just what we were doing every day during that time. Little Ezra was growing stronger. Me and Jarvis had went up to the Nick Queue to see him and we walked in washed. Our hands and my husband was taking forever to wash his hands so I just left him at the sink in Iran and went to the baby and I looked down at him and I I saw this red mark on his left cheek and I was like what is this on his face. For some reason I was thinking that somebody had done something to him like pinched him too to hard or something like that so I immediately like jump into mommy mode like defensive and I said what. The heck is my son's face and then I looked at him again. I said Aw. Oh his feeding tube is out all my goodness so it went for. Mike May Ready to fight these people to. Oh my gosh. Like he's doing really good. He's eating on his own. So I went like from literally thing the Black Panther to Cinderella like overnight. This amazing thing happened with CD Jarvis but but you know not all families awake and that is the case with this family CD and her husband are African American and their son. Ezra is white for the most part everything has been super positive. I have had some like negative comments coming from like the African American community saying. Oh there's so many African American your kids in the system. How could you adopt a Caucasian baby? People don't understand how adoption works. It's not like a grocery store how you walk and you say I want at this this this and this because I think TV portrays it as like an orphanage where you walk in. You're like I want that one Mike how you do when you go look for puppy. You're like I want that one. But it's not the case as at all it's like if you really WanNa adopt a child like you get you can have preferences but it makes it a little harder. So people think that we hand selected this child but it wasn't like you bet but majority of the stuff that we've gotten has been nothing but positively CD and Jarvis's journey happy ending but CD knows her and her family story story isn't the same for everyone. It's a long process amby tedious. It doesn't happen for everybody. It happened for us. It happened for us out. The blue there are people people out there that are going through the adoption process and have been going at it for months or years so I just say like don't give up just keep going at it there's people out there that love you and that are supporting you in. That are going to the same thing. There's just some people that just don't know how to say it or don't want to talk about it out loud suggests hang tough because once you get that at baby once you get what you've been waiting for so long it's GonNa be one hundred times worth it. Thanks for listening today. I hope you heard something that inspires and empowers you for more stories like this one. Check out love what matters dot com. Tom This podcast is a production of love. What matters and iheartradio? I'm your host Colin Valve. The matters presents your story. PODCAST is produced By Miranda Hopkins and me in mixed by Josh Thane Emily Marinov is our engineer and Erin. Kaufman is our editor editorial oversight by Miranda Hopkins and me with with help from Emily Marinov and Juliette Miller special. Thanks to Nikki E tour. Kevin Bov Chris balfe Wilson Garrett Red seat ventures and Craig kitchen you can find more inspiring stories at love matters dot com. We'll see you next week. The Super Love Promise is a commitment made by Subaru retailers to do right by the communities in which we all live and work Subaru. It's retailers and the Leukemia Lymphoma Society have delivered more than one hundred forty eight thousand blankets and twenty one thousand arts and crafts kits to hospital hospital in cancer treatment centers nationwide over the past four years to learn more about how severe gives back visit Subaru Dot com slash. Love Dash Promise.