Hour 2: Kevin Arnovitz


Do. God's ear daylight savings is about to take away our of our sleep. But Casper's here to make up for it by giving everyone fifty dollars towards the purchase of select mattresses. Let me introduce you to casper this week company with outrageously comfortable products at not so outrageous prices from mattresses and pillows two sheets and do. Vase casper, transforms the way, you sleep as a Catholic super myself. The mattress is an absolute game changer. The casper mattress combined four layers of pressure relieving phones were all night comfort, plus the breathable foams designed to keep you cool all night with Betty bedframes and even a dog bed. Casper has everything you need to greatly perfect sleep environment. Maximize the hours that you do have with the support and comfort of a casper. Go to casper dot com slash lebatardshow and use code lebatardshow for fifty dollars towards the purchase of select mattresses. That's casper dot com slash lebatardshow, code Libertad and get fifty dollars towards the purchase of select mattresses. Casper dot com. Terms and conditions apply. Additional fees may apply for Hawaii and Alaska. All right. You have been heard you want your morning for show. You don't want anymore race talk. Let's segue to pedophilia favorite, no one. But I did find interesting the things making their way into the news. Here are Kelly is one. This one's going to be it. Looks like our Kelly is headed down this new path. We've blazed where the comedians and the angry mob and the media get you in trouble with the law for stuff that we thought we knew, but it's so much worse when it's put in front of people, and they have to look at it that it ends up resulting in Harvey Weinstein getting criminal charges and Kevin Spacey. You know, all the stuff that you see happening right now is a is is crazy and our Kelly doing an interview in which. When is this coming out? Do we know tonight night aired this morning? Oh this morning. Yes. He'd be Bs this morning, and he's going to deny everything and yet still it looks terrible. The whole thing is a bad look. Well, it's interesting because you watch these documentaries and we were talking in the local hour with David Samson about the the movie abducted in plain sight. And then you watch this leaving never land. And you realize that man all these things that we think could never have happened have happened. And so when you hear people talking about R Kelly and all the things that, you know, maybe you're going on with his world, you watch these other movies, and you kind of convince yourself that. Yeah. That might be true. It very well. Could be true. It happening right before is the leaving never Neverland thing has been interesting. Their number of things that I found interesting about it. But one of them is just the I felt so terrible for these mothers, the viral strain of sexual abuse the way that it just crushes the family, and in literal cases with some of the alleged victims. Regarding Michael Jackson, the father's killed themselves. That's plural like the viral strain that this thing is I've never understood sexual abuse more than I have with this documentary. Oprah's said afterward, I did two hundred seventeen episodes on sexual abuse. And I was not able to properly convey at the way this film in four hours is done it. It's not a Michael Jackson story. Michael Jackson is how they're getting you to pay attention to something. You don't wanna pay attention to their using his fame to show, you this is the way that predators work, and you can sit here and have the superficial not layered nuanced conversation of they're in it for the money. I don't wanna look here. But what I'm telling you is watching this documentary the details explain perfectly how it is that a pedophile manipulates the child into confusing sex with love, and then pushing them away from their parents and the child those children were testifying on behalf of Michael Jackson. Because they believed that sex with him was love. It's a lot easier to understand manipulating children. I think what gets people angry is the adults who are saying. Oh, yeah. He's just going to spend the night in this man's bedroom. But then they're okay ratio. You in the documentary? Exactly how it comes to be because all of us from afar could be they're like what terrible parents and all look, man. You can't tell me sports handled any of this. Well, we saw how this happened. The biggest scandal of our sports lifetime has everything that happened at Penn State, and since then we've wandered away wondering how could that happen? This is how it can happen. This is how the parents get sucked in the parents were just as manipulated as everyone else by the predator here. And while you could sit here and quibble with the credibility of the people involved. The two people involved who you may think because the estate says so are involved this for involved in this for money, the amount of family members close by that they talked to made this real in a way. Way that to me couldn't be disputed and. To watch the two victims here in leaving Neverland one of them the one who has had fame before Britney Spears's choreographer. He's been in the public Rob's way routes these he's been in the public. Thank you public eye for awhile. He's got the credibility issues because as a child he lied on the stand the other way, he protected alive for seven years with great zeal. But you understand exactly how that happens here. So that you can realize that he's telling the truth now about why he was lying, and it's funny. You mentioned the fame thing and being blinding because my biggest question Mark is almost in the opposite direction is how can this famous person in front of everybody? Not just the parents. But in front of everybody be hanging out strictly with a seven eight nine year old and seventy seven year olds to award shows taking seven and eight year olds to award showed a star of not even Michael Jackson's caliber or level from today, a male. Star from today put him out there and show him strictly hanging out with seven eight or nine year olds everybody's going to question that and I just wonder, and you know, there's the idea of the sexual superstar when it came to Michael Jackson me personally growing up. I always thought Michael Jackson was gay. And that was before even knowing any of these accusations of pedophilia. But so you just think because somebody seems a sexual that you're just going to be okay with all these things I think the whole world was just kind of blind or took turned a blind eye to it to me it felt a lot like the San dusky stuff. How does this happen when it was happening in plain view, how do people get away with an now paternal was particularly ill-equipped imagine coming from a different generation where none of this stuff was talked about. He was particularly ill equipped to handle any of what this is. But part of the starting point on this stuff is always we don't actually want to look at the truth because the truth is awful like people are watching this special simply because they don't want to hear about children being diddled in detail. Like, they nobody wants to hugely uncomfortable to watch these victims and see how all of their lives have fallen apart. The thing that I felt strongly here in terms of regret is that surprised me because I went into the movie the same way. How could these parents have let this happen? And where I was at the end of the movie because of how layered and complete this movie was on HBO where I was at the end of the movie was oh my God. These mothers are never going to be able to go back and fix any of this. They are going to go to their grave knowing that they failed their child in the worst possible way by getting snowed by a champion manipulator in Michael Jackson, who was able to sway the whole family because of the intoxicant fame was I felt that these women are not going to have a lot of remorse. People are gonna watch this. And look at this and say you as mothers. Failed. And I just felt heartbreak on behalf of these women. The one of the mothers can't even watch the movie where we're Wayne ropes and is talking about the sex. She still can't get there to understand the damage that that did and the way when I usually watch all these things or sort of when you dive into somebody that's troubled, mentally, you always I always go to the childhood. I always go to what happened to you growing up that made you this because people aren't in my opinion, born inherently evil, I think, you know, it's part of your upbringing, and we all know that Michael Jackson had a horrible upbringing in an abusive father and everything else never actually got to be a child because he was a child star. So he remained a child for the rest of his life. And this is what happens, and so the people that don't want to look at this are doomed to repeat, you know, poor parenting or bad parenting and create something that is that you know, somebody that is possibly capable of these types of things it all comes back to that. And in most cases in pretty much every case. And so it's fascinating that they were you know, Michael Jackson did this to them. But you know, Michael Jackson was failed by his parents. And that's why he became who. He was we're all products of that we keep it light light enough. That segment weighed not Wayne fun. I can't believe it that Gerald is presenting the quarterly budget report with finger puppets. Look here comes a one point seven percent decrease in fixed overhead I know everybody. No, I can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on car insurance with go. Are you Bill projected increase and organic Khukri revenue? Believe it. Geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Donlevatar we play the game the white wakes to God's lease watch better than you BCC donlevatar show with his two guys on ESPN radio. Tweeter writes, in I really hope that's the last segment on Michael Jackson because I'm such a fan of the show. But cannot listen to anyone say something happened. As a matter of fact, when there is no factual evidence just known liars saying something happened. You can't watch this for four hours and come away with all of these details being ally. Like, you can't you. It's not possible. You gotta watch it. And maybe you don't have an open mind. And maybe you don't wanna talk about any of this stuff as we're having a real uncomfortable conversation all over this country through our Kelly and Michael Jackson. We are having an uncomfortable conversation about how sex abuse happens to the powerless, even if you watch the doesn't even have to be a star, you watch -ducted in plain sight, you can see how manipulative these people are separating the child from the family, and then, you know, convincing the kids that what they're doing is the right thing and again who easier to manipulate than children Israel Thor Gutierrez for middle. That's strong middle name as that is a strong transition four. Okay. So this we've got two things in play on fourth Thor. I know the hand Thors hammer, Dan, Dan comic a comic book being Thor comics are thing that us, you know. Poor people do for entertainment. Did I say four because I'm pretty sure I said for and I know nothing nothing like for. Anyway, you're right, Dan. Thank you guys. I appreciate all the support. So we're looking for a middle name for Israel, Gutierrez because he does not have one. I've just learned Alison does not have one either would Alison be willing to take from the audience a name that she legally changes to our own middle name. Because is he is saying he will go through the paperwork of changing his name for the audience. If we come up with a good middle name. It's got to be a good one though. It can't be Israel. Phoenix gutierrez. I don't know. What about a Gustavus? Gustav is have to be said that way the way you said it really sold it. His. Not yet. Nobody calls me any of those things that lay. All right. These are the nominees. We have so far if you like any of them, Israel is AM Gutierrez, Israel, LeBron Gutierrez Israel Kardashian. Gutierrez, Israel Hemingway. Gutierrez Antonio Frederick Quinlan. Vincent primo. Rocco? Barnaby francis. Jasper my low Nathaniel Theodore Tobias debut and thord Barnaby Barnaby. What do you think of UK? I like I wanna have maybe a middle name that has little elements to it like that too little dots over low on lot. Oh in mutt. About how much assume lot Israel luck shares. The the letter to you, and they'd have room allows enumerated on the poll. Gamma does the on lot? Having whom lot about Al. Is he Al no, I'm out? What's your favorite gym equipment? Is that is that going to create? Along these lines, Israel bowflex Gutierrez. I like what was the name of d- Halliburton? Now, Israel peleton Gutierrez nordictrack body by Jake. That's the name of Israel body by Jake art or good era. I don't know why. I don't know. Why on why up to me on? So how about Israel, Lebanon, tarred, Gutierrez Beato? How about veto? Veto as V I G O or veto V E T. I like the ET oh as a middle name. We are getting this off the ground at twelve forty five eastern tomatoes will be thrown here near the pool of the clevelander as part of a punishment that we're still trying to sort out so far the worst week has been had by Chris, Cody, Chris Cody has had the worst week so far, and it's it's gone into descent since he yelled at vodka tent at the Honda. Classic VJ sings name. Yeah. I'm never going in that tournament. Again. I mean, I at the middle of the week was texting Chris saying, hey next year Honda Classic. I'm in and now as more details come out. I don't know if I wanna hang out with Chris code going. The internet has ruined fun. Chris no, more fun. Chris. You get no more of it. I don't believe it either. It's a lie. I just saw on the internet VJ sings workout routine in preparation for the Honda Classic. And he was in contention. He had a very strong core. Did you see this workout where he's taking golf clubs and he's hitting tires with? No, you think yelling for no reasons guy. He's like fifty three. I think I just VJ Singh is at a career of great longevity and great excellent excellence as a manner as a man of great will and the audience does not care VJ's, a good middle name, the the initials or you want to spell it. The way it with initials because it makes me feel like I have two more names than I can work with that. Have you thought of just going with a letter, maybe one letter X? That's not bad. Let's see what we have. We have a leader in the clubhouse right now. It looked like he likes. It's like Thor. I. All the Dan I do like four I'm kind of a fan of Primo because you can say different ways Primo Premo, you know, 'cause a kind of like that one. How about oh, maybe Israel omega is an important thing here guys that you need to remember is when you get things monogrammed because I feel like you monogram lot of things you need a good letter combo. You know what I mean? So like you could like the name, but if it's bad with the I and the g than it won't work. We need an N I N G. Like, the only thing I have monogrammed is my poker table. I don't wear that up. Put it on the poll. Guillermo does he is he seemed to you like a monogram or what's your favorite planet? What like Pluto Martha's are those things in the attic fan of this one. Oh earth Israel earth is the only one I've visited so I don't really know. Let me ask you guys this question because I don't know what to do about this, Greg Cote. He's got back in my day amino. I'll Hassen has black in my day. Randy Scott has hack in my day. How many more permutations of the hacking my days, so good really is still hate for bad comedy hack hack in my day. And now we've had a great argument with Israel Hemingway Guti airy about how to do something. Back in my gay. We want to do we think in for parallel construction. He's gotta do a back in my gay. But as our only gay person here, we haven't felt anything this is entirely Israel's idea, and we're just oaken the fire. I know, but he didn't like the name back in my gay. I didn't dislike it, I just didn't know how that would be received. Well, he wanted to name it gain my day. But considering the play on words, you know, hack in my day black in my day. It would make sense. I think it's funnier. If we go back and my gay just hit him over the head with it. Yeah. Just don't add a common their gear. Mount. Do you have any thoughts on this Hallett? Is you call it whatever he wants back in my gay next. Straight talk. Brought to you by straight. Listening on America's largest and most dependable four G T networks, Don liba card. So let me just get this straight. What you just gave us would limited fake John lovitz as will Smith's character kin bed boys my lower. Yeah. That's the ticket. Mike Lowry to guts. I thank you there. It is. Yeah. Larry, thank you. We waited. Better pink, you VC's Libertad show with Stu gods on ESPN radio. ESPN radio's presented by progressive insurance. Guests on the Dan Le Batard show appear via the shell Pennzoil performance line. And our sportscenter update the jayhawks lost to the Sooners and have been mathematically eliminated from the big twelve title race Kansas had won fourteen consecutive big twelve regular season championships. Santa anita's cancelled racing indefinitely to reexamine its dirt surface after the deaths of Twenty-one horses in the past two months and finally Brad Pitt's. First job was dressing up as a chicken and handing out flyers to attract customers to El Pollo loco. The giant junior bacon cheeseburgers, only at Wendy's. Get the double fresh get double the fresh never frozen beef and four strips of EPA wood smoked bacon alongside four peace nuggets. Small fries and small drink for the junior price of five dollars available at participating US. Wendy's. For a limited time fresh beef available in the contiguous US, Alaska and Canada fraud. Latest headlines and information tune into sports. On ESPN radio all throughout the day. Gonna do some basketball stuff with Kevin arnovitz. But I wanted to tell the shipping container. This quick story here because I just got an Email here from an aviation company a person, I don't know who I've just talked to by Email before. And this is the Email hope all is. Well, congrats on all the success with the expanded projects. Stugatz randomly text me from time to time asking for free private jets. How about that? Is that an any way surprising? You guys that is not a person who knows in any way just is perfectly comfortable emailing or texting someone he doesn't know asking for free private jets. That's like ten thousand dollars worth of jet at more than that. I think I think I think private jets costs more than that not that I would have any experience with that. I was thinking about this yesterday. Who do you think on this showed the easiest person to catfish? Chris Cody me, I'm the one who gets fooled by sharks on flooded highway. Yeah, I could see Dan supporting seven different families. Kevin arnovitz with us on ESPN radio. I am really tired of talking about the Lakers and the Celtics. But what should I be talking about? As San Van Gundy says the warriors are very vulnerable, and is said flatly here. The warriors aren't going to win the title. I it's still tough for me to get there. And it's not even because I think they don't have owner abilities. I think the regular season is so utterly meaningless to a team. Like, the warriors that you can't even possibly gauge those vulnerabilities that they exist in this sort of theoretical state because like at the end of the day to lights you're gonna come on April one day, you know, they're gonna play a tough series. I mean, they made have another Houston in the conference finals this even though I don't think so, but I just like to me that's the thing too. Like, the regular season is is cease to be a place where you can actually measure the Volmer ability to the team like, you know, the heat a few years ago or this your warriors team or any dynastic team because it's just like they just simply don't care and one of the microphones are off they'll pretty much tell you that much. What do you really think about boogie cousins is look though? He's a he's like, you know, he's looked like old boogie thirty eight percent of the time. He's looked like a guy who sort of is twenty percent less. Bookie thirty percent of the diamond. He's looked like a guy or the Kelly's like thirty percent of the time. You know what? I mean. I think that's that's all made up that. I don't know. What you just did? There was moving too fast. Is that advanced analytics what has happened? There did any of that on the I realized I totally got. 'cause I was like crap. Like, I just got to the last the last numerator him short ten percents. I don't know what he looks at time. What kind arnovitz what kind of analysis did that your numbers guy? You're the guy who knows how to actually break down all of these individual measurements. And that really like pelton Habur stone numbers guy. Like, I kind of I kind of hang out at their parties. I don't really have passed through all that. I'm sort of. I'm like, I'm like you've Dan spiritually with them. But like, I don't have any skills whatsoever. Humanities, man. We don't have evidence that any other team in the sport can actually turn it up in the playoffs except for the one we've seen right? We don't. There's only one team that we can look at it and say that's the team we all expect to be stronger appreciably in the playoff. Yeah. Yeah. That's there. Because I mean, the east those eastern I mean, if you believe that Boston is sort of sleeping giant like our friend, Brian like, if you feel that you know, when everything is organized, and everybody's listening in the stakes are high that Cairo Irving the best shot maker, you know in a crucial possession in the league. Arguably, you know, and all that good defense that when it's good it is it is among the elite in the league. Maybe that is a team that subsumed by its distractions and petty differences now, and Kyrie's madness or whatever the hell he says on a given day that they can marshal sort of the the spirit in the playoffs and get there like that. The Boston would be like the Astros team in that conversation, but not because we seen them. But because we just kind of wonder if all this is sort of a preamble to something better. Kevin I do want to ask you about the teams that in the city you live in Los Angeles. But I could you explain to the people how Robert ever got go poop all over his office. Whether it's our office. So it was actually Ryan mcdonagh Ryan Macomer general manager, so Diane's Rossi one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Play Phoenix mercury. They were having event in the Phoenix arena, which also doubles as sort of it's one of those places where the the executives are in the arena. And that's where their offices are. You know, the live goats go because it's the goats are there because she is the goat, right and metaphorically speaking dateable, you know, they bring the go. So you know, or sort of in terms this kind of inspired his general manager. Hey, we should find are two Rossi the Phoenix Suns need to do that. And because it would be using gathered the goats place them in unbeknownst general manager in the general manager's office and the goats do Goto generally do which is shoot up everything and defecate everywhere. So the metaphor worked or didn't work depending on your perspective. I mean, how bad has that organization been how bad can he be as an owner for for how long before somebody's just like man, you really need to get rid of his team. Go ahead. And so I mean, I mean that that's the question. Right. Like there's in his broken. Window theory at work where it's like, so why does Josh Jackson kind of go show at a at an event other. They're young small forward ended about what you're supposed to go. Meet fans who waited an hour and an entered a contest to see him. I can't draw direct correlation to the fact that oh you've missed the playoffs. Nine years at a road cycled through coach after coach and there's an palace intrigue. Everytime coaches been there same with the management. But I think when you want to understand why does the team not make the playoffs nine years. Why does the team lose fewer than twenty five games? Four years in a row. You start looking at what's the constant variable and more often than not we know this in every sport, you guys talk about it's generally the owner like at the end of the day. It's generally the owner, it's generally somebody who's been wildly successful at some other pursuit. Whether it's banking or finance or making widgets, or whatever the hell, it is who comes to basketball and says, oh, I'm a genius, right? I mean that that's that's how I could afford the team and then tends to operate as if he has the same expertise about his other field that he does about basketball and kind of. Failed wildly whether it's through meddling, whether it's just lack of impulse control, whether it's you know, being overly involved or just you know is executive live in a state of fear or spend half their time managing his expectations. That's often the case, and that is somewhat the case in Phoenix actually considerably the case. And I didn't think that after Kevin Durant left the funder. Russell was Westbrook whatever give back the rains, especially after winning that MVP award. But he's not the best player on that team anymore. Paul Georgia's and Brian Windhorst notes the content machine. But I actually thought he made a very strong case for not only MVP discussion around Paul George but most improved player in the league. And defensive player of the of the league is that an asinine taker is that on the button. No, I got a vote, and I gotta tell you Paul's in my top three right now both in MVP and in defensive player who's always one of those weird ones. 'cause like whenever I go to fill up my ballot. I have to check last year stats, and it's like what was he sufficiently crappy enough? He was pretty good. So the jump wasn't as I hate most approve. Like, it's it's an fundamentally illogical award. Right. And for that reason. Well, only Georgia's sucked a little more last year. Now, I could give them the board because the jump would be more considerable, but I have to measure against other guys really good now, but work good if they were somewhat good, and they don't win the award. It's just it's kind of a like a Groucho Marx award. It's just weird. You know, it it's it's a dumb award. But the first two absolutely how has Magic Johnson done his job this year. I mean, let's look at the result. Here's a here's a concept and for the Los Angeles. Here's why don't we look at the results, you have Jeanie Buss on Saturday in Boston saying the biggest challenge for the franchise is the now, I'm not saying this as like media defending media like that, she's, you know, besmirching the craft of journalism, and we should all it just which she when you say that when the owner of the Los Angeles like you say the media is your biggest challenge you were demonstrating a willful ignorance of your own organization shortcomings in. Let's just review a team in the best market of the league who employs the generational talent. Who has picked number two in the draft. Three of the last four years who has a multibillion dollar local TV deal and cannot get into the postseason with those assets. Like like, just a here, fundamental incompetence of ownership and management and then to lay it on. Oh, it's because the media is is manufacturing semi rumors about us. Even though the spirit of them are true. Like me. I mean, I don't know whether they ever going to reflect whereas rob link go, quote Palo quello at a press conference and seemed like thoughtful D person who understands organizational culture. I mean, there's is no I don't know what the planet like I really don't other than we have the broad. We have the Steve, and we have aura and would bathe in this golden light that will allow us to do exceptional things. Even though we are fundamentally unexceptional what we do. It's a organization that should care a little less about the brand. And a little more about the product. How bad is the relationship between the Lakers in the media right now? I don't even think it's bad. I mean, that's thing. I live in Los Angeles. This is historically been. I don't wanna I don't wanna make a statement about the local press corps to pick do great work. They work their butts off there's so much to do. But the idea that the Lakers from how like that was what was so strange about the comment ban is like as local media markets. Go relative to team the local organization, the local journalistic organs here. I think treat the Lakers very well. Especially relative to performance, I think they could be much harder. I think this team where the Knicks which if they're not careful they will be soon in terms of of just the playoff utility. I think they would be much worse ride. I mean, I think this is a level three four difficulty media market versus sort of the the northern northeastern industrial belt markets where you just get killed. I mean, that's got to be irony of it all as I think they get a free ride Houston back to where they were. I mean they smoked Toronto yesterday. And when Chris Paul comes back, they're totally different. Man. I it just you forget about Chris. And there's no telling the tweet something between now and June mystery suggest he might, you know, faulted his own but like van what he is on the floor. It is just is just such a smarter better work and is team. Like there is just it's not just that. He makes good place. It's just it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. We know what to do. There's just the table is set. Tactically. There's so much harder to cover when he's doing his thing. And they're scary. And I I mean, it's funny after all this we might ended up with just a warriors rockets conference final really really competitive, even though the landscape look completely different. These mystery guests like Denver and everything else. They're still good. I think there are a lot of good teams in that conference. But Houston is just went Chris is there. It's just it is it is a well oiled machine. Thank you arnovitz. We always appreciate the time. Check him out. He's doing exceptional work writing for ESPN dot com. We appreciate it, sir. Thanks for having me. Let's go my private did. Do you think going to fuel instill Mike Ryan just pantomime d- upon hearing Denver Nuggets? He waved a hand under his nose like someone smelling something bad put it on the pole Guillermo at lebatardshow, Denver Nuggets. And then put parenthetically wave a hand under your nose like smelling, something bad. Yes. Or no also. But on the poll is Chris Paul going to tweak, something donlevatar, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA stugatz. Hey, hey. Hey goodbye. These live at our show with their Stu gods on ESPN radio back in my gay in just a second. I want to address something that keeps happening here. Mike because anytime we talk about anything that's not sports related and has to do anything with society. And we do it through the prism of sports as we were doing with harp. Machado earlier in the show the backlash strong, it's hostile and to me it's a little bit weird. But just so that, you know, cave. This makes you feel any better about how you might be viewing Harper and Machado differently. Even though their resumes are the same. If you've been listening to this show, you know that I learned on air that their resumes where the same and so the first question, I was asking was of myself. Why was I doing that? Why was I saying that Harper is simply better than Machado when I'm paying attention to baseball. Why am I being left with that viewpoint? So the introspection is where it starts with me. And so it makes you feel better about where race might be involved with you. I'm just telling you that I'm examining whether it's involved with me when I'm looking at something so start there on whatever it is. You wanna file in the way of your criticisms, Mike, Ryan, what do you wanna do here with back in my gay? What was the musical selection with this? This seems to be tricky. Well, it's tricky for. For us. We didn't want to. I mean back in something serious typical or anything like that. So I think in going through our archive or catalog of music, we found something that is both on brand, but also super respectful of Israel. All right. So it's Israel four. Gutierrez's israel. What is it PX ninety? What is? Take the body of hearing again Israel body by Jake Gutierrez with a new the debut of back in my gay. Channel Gorey's, and I'm not talking about gay by pan sexual transsexual in any of the other categories that make up the rainbow flag. I'm talking specific categories gay men are forced into once they've officially stepped into gigs distance. Apparently, you can't get the gay rubber stamp until you've been assigned type, which usually borrows classifications from the animal kingdom. They're the bears. One of the more traditional subgroups, which are generally heavier gentlemen, who like the actual animal don't have subscriptions, dollarshaveclub, they refuse to remove any of their hair not even here on their backs or. Shoulders who not only do these gay archetypes have their own flag and their own bars. Dan, if you want a little preview of what your life would be like if you were gay this would be your science base, but they also have their own faction polar bears, which of course, are older bears with white hair everywhere. Their cubs were just younger bears only beginning to establish their disdain for hair removal. That's not to be confused with an otter, Dan who is essentially a bear with a little less body weight and slightly less hair. Confused already day with me here. You didn't have you gotta there's also a wolf which is an utter with a better diet a gym membership and the type of well-groomed facial hair that makes his aggressive sexual advances only slightly less of notch. I'll say the all the explanations of bowls pups Twix twelfth unicorns or pigs except to advise it pigs are seemingly deathly allergic to the odorant products because it's all too much who the hell knew I'd be stepping out of a closet and into an even smaller box with very specific and largely offensive labels. I'd almost. Have a couple of beers back in the solitude of the closet, then properly explore this animal kingdom that not. Even rod McGill could help me navigate at least. I don't think. Anyway, this is what I meant all those years when I said, I was figuring myself out. I say we dropped these classless classifications and go the more traditional approach if I think you're attractive, I'll drop bad. And if you feel the same way you hit me with a baby of your own, and then we can have a nice talk about anything other than the amount of hair covering your unnecessarily, sweaty, torso music Sierras, and that's to be. I think we've found a new nickname for a middle name for him. It's got to be a wide E, right, Israel, and only Cody can call me that I had no idea that there were that many cats there's more. I mean, there's more. I don't even know what category. I fall into. There's so many somebody called me one time a muscle tw- Inc. Which feels like the greatest oxymoron in classifications of all time. So I don't really know. It's an important conversation. I'm glad there's a lot. Congratulations.

Coming up next