Episode 47: Gratefully Yours with Emily McDowell

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Today's episode is brought to you by the citizenry. Everyone's home tells a story. And so does everything that goes in it here in my house? The story is probably a mix of kids toys, and my attempts to personalize it with cool home, good items, very cute. I try to make a cute, but how many of us are settling for mass produced furniture. We don't care about just to fill our space. Now, you can truly define your space with globally inspired premium home to core goods from the citizenry, the citizenry brings handcrafted furniture and decor from around the world into your home. They partner with artisans and over a dozen countries like Mexico and Peru to create each unique collection. The citizenry is more than a marketplace for beautiful products. They're a collaborative of the best artisans and makers around the globe, there designers work closely with each community. Combining the trademarks and textiles of the region with the citizenry's a modern aesthetic. So one of the things I got from the citizenry is the halston. Pitcher. I saw it in your house. You remarked on it, even before you news from the citizenry. It's I think it's like one of the more beautiful pieces. I have in my house. I it was a statement piece, but also very subtle. I would think you Dorie the citizenry builds enduring relationships abiding by fair trade standards and investing in their partners growth. So there's a positive impact in every artisan community. And as you mentioned, of course, you're getting gorgeous, high end home decor handcrafted by people with the resources and expertise to do it best is it that the story your home should tell Dory. It is so consider this a belated housewarming gift for your first order. The citizenry is offering you a fifty dollar gift voucher towards your purchase of over two hundred dollars. Go to citizenry podcast dot com slash forever. Thirty five today and use promo code forever. Thirty five to redeem the special offer just for podcast listeners. That's. Code forever. Thirty five at citizenry podcast dot com slash river. Thirty five for fifty dollars towards your purchase of two hundred dollars or more citizenry podcast dot com slash Feber, thirty five code forever. Thirty five and here's the show. Hello. And welcome to forever. Thirty five a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer. I'm dory. Schiffer, and we're not experts that we are two friends who liked to talk a lot about serums dorey. Hello, kate. You texted me because you did something in your home this weekend that you had not done since moving in. Oh, yeah. Do you want to tell her listeners? What happened? I do. So let me just set the scene. I love when you set the scene that is a thing you do. And I have to just go on record as saying I love when you do it. Thank you, Kate. Hanes a lot pictures. So we live in a house that was built in nineteen twenty four and some of the features of the home not been updated since nineteen twenty four including one of the bathrooms. So there's a tub in that bathroom that my husband uses it is quote, his bathroom, and then I use the bathroom that has off our bedroom. But you know with the bay coming. I was like, well, it's good. We have a bathtub because babies need to take baths. And then I was like looking at the bat. I'd always been like about type is like one of those bathtubs that never really looks. Like, it gets clean. No matter. How many times you clean it? You know, those bad size you I've had so many of them. Yeah. I feel like they're like a real New York thing. And so I had always been like like, I don't wanna take a bath. And they're also we didn't have a stopper for the drain, which is a very very easily thing very easily remedied. Yes. And very affordable verifiable. I just never done it. So, but I really think I was just inspired by this podcast this podcast forever. Thirty-five this podcast that we do every week forever. Thirty five and I was like I have a bathtub what am I doing? So I went on our friend Amazon, and I ordered a bath up a drain plug. I ordered the thing that goes over the thing per jasmine galleries her jasmine, you know, what I'm talking about saying that goes over the thing, and I ordered a bath pillow. Oh, I'm talking. Plot up. And then so all that stuff came the other day. And then I was at sprouts recently. And I was like, you know, what why don't they just buy one of these eucalyptus bath salt packets, and I'll buy another one in lavender. They're like three bucks. I was like this was just amp things up a little so. On. When was it Friday night Friday night? Filled up the bath. I got in. It was a little too cold. But I was all right. I also, you know, when you're pregnant you're not supposed to take like super hot bounds. But I put my kindle in a ziplock bag per jasmine gillary. Jasmine, really is our guru. I gave his AP bath. She teaches AP bath HD writes the test. Anyway, I put the eucalyptus in. I got in the bath. Put my bath pillow on lay down. I was like reading I was like this is the life. What was I doing? All this time, this bathtub was here. What is wrong with me or tub fell so neglected until you got in it? I mean, my husband takes showers in it. But he doesn't take baths. And I was like oh my God. This is a new life. So then I took another bath last night. Oh my God. I used the lavender stuff. What are you going to do? Now, you ran out of stuff. We gotta go back to sprout. I gotta go back to sprouts. And last night. I have to admit I made it a little hotter. I lay at lean back on my bath pillow. I close my eyes. I'm not gonna fall asleep and Brown in the bathtub, but I I just closed my eyes just to really take it all in. I put on a face mass. And I was like I have never been so relaxed in my, holy moly. I'm so happy for you. I have breaking the seal. Thank you. So I've also bought. Some you have these the the LED candles. Oh, yes. I love them. I bought smelly t Campbell's. So my next plan. Oh my God setup. Some LED candles. You are seducing deal. Maybe some music. Yes. A little bluetooth girl. Yes. Dim the lights and make it really relaxes when I'm talking about. I as you were describing this it really did feel like honestly that you were seducing yourself, creating this amazing luxurious. Yes base. Just for you in this top. That's like kinda grows gives us shade. Exactly. And honestly every tub new old clean dirty. They're kind of gross. Yeah. So just get in it. But I was like, oh, and I brought my bath by bathrobe in. So just you know, I was able to just get out rat myself up on my bathrobe and lotion, I love oiling up after a hot bath. I mean, I was like I am a new woman that you also feel like kind of that. Nice heavy tired feelings. Yes. Crawl into bed. All yes. Yes. It was the perfect way to like wind down. I have do you know what I'm doing tonight? I'm taking about I have at my back is really bothering. I am I already mentally in my mental schedule. It's like, well, I'm reading busy Phillips's memoir. And I'm getting in the tub with busy Phillips. So speaking of seducing myself. Yes, I also took myself out on a date on Saturday night. Tell me everything. Well, I believe I texted you. That's right. When you're like, I want sushi that I was craving cooked sushi. So I took myself to the grove, and I had some sushi, but I also while I was waiting for a spot to open up at the restaurant Mosey over to Barnes and noble. And I was looking in the magazine section, and I noticed magazine called willow and sage Kate. Are you familiar with this publication? No, I'm laughing though. What will it would say? Yes, apparently, it is a publication that. They focus on like crafty things like they'll have an issue devoted to like making your own candles, and this issue was devoted to making your own bath thing, did you buy the magazine. I didn't might go back and buy it though. Because I was like I could become a person who makes their own bath bombs with this is a family could do workshops. He is Beth homes are expensive. They're like six bucks. E no, I think you could one hundred percent to it. I would take. That course. Right. I just need to buy some molds. Couldn't use like an ice cube tray because you want you up a nice round -ness of them you want the really look like bath bombs, but they'd have recipe for an oatmeal one. I was like, oh, this looks good. Get some of those homemade bath bombs will say. Willow and sage hover all the cover lines were in that like Pinterest. I can already imagine. It's a soft calligraphy. Curses exactly willow, tree is my life. Now. Like every time I passed the magnolia table, Joanna Gaines cookbook bags Zach and other is a whole Joanna Gaines display at Barnes and noble. Gay. Anyway. So that has been my new life dating yourself like seducing yourself is such a what a sexy activity. I'm gonna try it. Riot especially because now that I'm pregnant I'm not feeling like, particularly sexy. I mean, I know I look at you. Thanks, girl. But I'm not like feeling that your body is changing. Yeah. You feel so it's nice to just sort of like getting the tub take care of yourself. Take care myself would love to know what dates listeners take themselves out or how they seduce themselves. Yeah. What else has been going on with UK? Well, daury. Yes. I had a bit of a health spiral. This. Dealing with some sort of health stuff. But it was a really good exercise in like working on my executive, and like the the the the urge I have to spiral. And instead, I tried really hard to follow like grounding practices that I knew today would make me feel better and have some control over not the health stuff on. But just control over how I'm feeling otherwise hate your trying to reframe your own narrative. Listen, and I love it. I am in cognitive behavioral therapy in a major way right now. And it's working I have to say I feel like I'm starting to implement some of the tools earnings. So, you know, so I have I had to make a bunch of doctors appointments, and I had the urge to not do it because I'm scared. But instead I called first thing this morning and made my two appointments and then like last night after kind of a tough day. I made my. Self do my gratitude practice which helped because I was I think it's very easy to list. All your the things you're grateful for when you had a great day. But when you're in a shitty day, and you're like, what am I grateful for all this hard stuff is going on? It really does help you find like, the the wonderful good chunks of your life. And then this morning, I showered I oiled my body with some almond oil. Nice. I did my lemon water. Nice lemon water. I ate a nice big breakfast. Nice. It some eggs on corn tortillas. Ooh. And then I like just took in my fresh. I put on a dress. Yeah. You let kidde tried to make myself just feel good. Yeah. And you know, I'm still feeling panicky. But I also feel like I'm in control of what I can control. And everything else will just play out. Yeah. So that was an interesting. It was an interesting kind of just observing myself. Now, I I, you know, health stuff is very scary for me. It's like where my anxiety lives in a lot of ways. So so that was the journey. I went on this weekend. So here I am. Yeah. But I feel okay. I'm glad that you kind of like re-centred. I did reframe that narrative. Fully did the reframing. Yeah. Yeah. It does help. I mean, it doesn't make anything easier. But as it does help. Yeah. So yeah, that's where I landed. Good. Thank you for asking. Of course, how did your selling of items? Go. Well. I I'm perpetually purging things your purge my house, but you know, of course, being a purge master raises. The question of why the hell did I have so much stuff to begin with? I do have to tell you every time. You do a purge. I'm amazed that you keep finding my sister has said this is well, she's like how do you have stop let you and it's like good stuff. It's not even like you're now getting rid of like your missed. No, no now, I'm getting rid of the good stuff. So this is stuff that you at first for the initial purges you held onto like I was like, no, no, no. Like, these this is too nice. Or this is I need to keep this. And now, I'm like, I never wear it. It needs to go. I just can't believe like every Perdue. I'm always like I want all of this. You can have a good. I I'll give you a discount. I'll thank you code forever. Thirty five promo code. So I there is some stuff that like I thought it would be easier to invite people over to buy stuff. It turns out people don't like show up stuff. So only a couple people came. But one of the people who came was a woman I hadn't seen in twenty years. All my gosh. Yeah. What a cool excuse to get together. So it was great to reconnect with her and she bought some makeup. I put a great like a killing two birds. And then so when the afternoon was kind of winding down, it was becoming clear that no one like another person came just to kind of say, hi, but it was clear that like no one else was going come and actually buy stuff. I was like let me just sell some stuff on Instagram. You're so good at it. But what was great is it? I had already been inspired to kind of gather all this stuff together that I wanted to get rid of. So I wasn't just sort of like cherry picking from my closet was like it was all there. So I just started selling stuff, and I sold a lot. Stuff. Like, I feel like I made a really good dent in some stuff that had like this was stuff that I've had for a lot of it with stuff I've had for a while. But I haven't worn in a long time that I was just holding onto for whatever reason really nice bags some really nice bags. Those went quick. But I just don't use them anymore. And so like, why keep them set them free and let them live another life with a new person. Exactly. So that felt really good, and you were donating part of the money that you are in to right? Yes. I was going. I'm going to donate some to every town for gun safety. What a great can another killing two birds with one stone. I'm just a one too. Yeah. I need to decide I knew decide how much nothing. But yeah. So that felt good. Happy pershing. Thank you gotta feel good as you prepare to welcome. A new person into your home to just kind of make physical space for baby. Boy, chiffre era chiffre IRA chiffre IRA. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Fire. Yeah. We both have a lot of stuff. And so it needs to kind of get. Oh. So the lesson. Most want to mention before we take a quick break is there is a new podcast out from our friends at the wing, which is a network of women's co working and event spaces in New York DC San Francisco and soon loss Angeles weight, and they have a new podcast called no-man's-land that is kind of an off shoot of their biannual magazine also called no man's land. And they are focusing on kind of like bad ass. Women sort of like bad ass forgotten women throughout history. So cool. Yeah. It's really cool. I've listened to the first episode. It's amazing by the time. This comes out there should be two episodes available. So I would encourage everyone to check that out. I will you should. And now, we're gonna take a quick break. Today's episode is sponsored by four Sigmatic a natural SuperFood company. That specializes in mushroom based drinks that benefit our immunity, energy and longevity and help us live healthier more enhanced lives for makes a wide variety of blends, including mushroom coffee mushroom elixirs hot ca cows macho SuperFood blends and more they may drinking mushrooms and superfoods. Delicious and easy to do with tens for at home. Use k-cup Cup coffee pods and they're single serve packets. Now. I have been adding their chug mushroom elixir to my morning smoothie, and I love that. I just have to rip open this packet toss it in. It's a full serving and there's no mushroom taste. I don't notice anything. Even better the chug mushroom mix has antioxidant properties that support. Your daily wellness energy levels and helped protect your Munich functions for sigma attic believes that beauty starts from the inside with things like gut, health and stress support. Their products are chock full of beauty boosting any oxidants like golden law day mushroom mix which has to Mark Tulsi. And Chautauqua right now for sick Matic is offering Ferber thirty-five listeners. Fifteen percent off all orders. Just visit forcing Matic dot com slash five or thirty five and use promo code forever. Thirty five that is forcing Matic dot com slash verve. Thirty-five using promo code forever. Thirty five or fifteen percent off all orders. Tasers episode is also brought to you by outdoor voices outdoor voices makes high quality active apparel to take you from Jim life to everyday. Life seamlessly and fashionably outdoor voices encourages living, happier, healthier more sustainable lives through daily exercise of any form. It's more about getting out there than trying to set a record outdoor voices regularly hosts events across the country to keep you doing things and meeting new friends along the way, and they're available for both men and women out Dirk voices is a clothing line made to sweat in. Whether you're hoping to adverse little pieces here wardrobe or looking for an activity specific collection, like running shorts out our voices has gear for everything starting over. They also have three different kind of signature fabrics. They have the signature textured, compression, which hugs scopes and supports you as you hike, jogging walk-, they have the techs, sweat, which is cool to the touch material that wick sweat and keeps you dry during high intensity workouts and the fr. Reform is a cozy and soft material perfect for stretchy activities like yoga, and I have to tell you. I haven't wearing my outdoor voices sports bra. Oh metoo. I love it. J- toe to-. Yeah. And I also have a pair of texts leggings. That are amazing. The tech sweat ones are made for high intensity workouts, and they really keep you dry. So for twenty percent off your first order of one hundred dollars or more. Just visit outdoor voices dot com slash forever. Thirty five and enter promo code forever. Thirty five that's outdoor voices dot com slash forever. Thirty five and enter promo code forever. Thirty five for twenty percent off your first order of one hundred dollars or more. So. Today's thanksgiving. Well, not today. But when this podcast comes out, it will be thanksgiving it will. And so we wanted to take some time to talk about gratitude. My favorite topic Cates. Favorite Tozzi sides, Costco. But I bet Costco's wanted things you feel grateful for dori-. You know, what the last thing? I'm. I am grateful for Costco. Because I am dorey. I have established this era. Gratitude practice. Yes. Where I just note down three things. I'm grateful for each day. I'm not always consistent with it. But I try to be fairly regular and that can be anything. I think sometimes when we think of gratitude practice, it has to be like, I'm grateful for the wind blowing through the trees. But instead it can simply be like, I'm grateful for ice in my water total and can be simple. You put ice in my water. Did I'm not trying to hint that you should be grateful for it. So grateful. I'm just I'm just saying, you know, it's sometimes I think we can feel. Self-indulgent grateful for my face, whatever it is. I'm not explaining this. Well, but I I'm just saying you can be grateful for anything. It doesn't matter. You don't to show this practice to anyone? It's really just a way to check in with yourself and reflect on the positive things that happened for you on a daily basis, I find it can be very helpful turning my perspective around especially when I'm going through a really tough time. It's not fun to to do a gratitude practice on a hard day or during a heart episode. But it does really help. It does help me see the bright spots. Even the hardest times that I'm going through. So you you have really sold me on gratitude, it, I say this a lot, and I feel like it sounds kind of dorky, but it has been really transformative for me. It is a real real way of pulling myself. I tend to get into negative space or I start to kind of panic or get really overwhelmed with anxiety or dread, and forcing myself to sit down and really review my day. And I now do it with my family every night at dinner. We have two everybody has to share a high and low or if you have no lows to highs from your day, and it just really it just really helps to talk about. I don't know. It's just it's changed me. It has changed me. So my first thing is that I have gratitude for gratitude. Yep. Grateful for my health. Okay. My family's health. Yep. Our general safety and we'll being. I'm grateful for the communities in my life that nourish and support me. I am grateful for sexy. Hot romance books. They give me swooning feelings. That's my favorite feeling in the world. I just read one that gave me this feeling. I did the like stay up to one thirty in the morning finishing the booze. Yeah. I love that feeling more than anything. So thank you, especially to sexy. Romance books that give me that feeling most of all? I mean, I'm grateful for Dory thing Sammy Sammy everyone who has helped us create this podcast and the community around it and the listeners guests who make forever thirty-five what it is. And trust us with their questions and comments and experiences and feedback and I am grateful for people in our country who work tirelessly to make this world, a safer more kind and fair place. And I'm grateful for all I've learned this year. That's very broad. But I do feel like I've learned a ton about myself the world other people it's been a very. I don't want to say transformative again, I sound like a life coach. But you know, it's been a long two thousand eighteen spin a year. Yeah. And then yes, I want to conclude by saying that I am grateful for Costco. I mean, you should be their big ass containers of organic raspberries for their coffee beans for their skin care products. For the bulk preparation H but wipes I buy there for the vitamins for the granola bars for the cheese with I mean, I could go okay. The organic male the the bubbly water, the she. Okay. So dory. That's my that was my general longer two thousand eighteen attitude list. And I'm excited to be spending. My time with my family this very very grateful for that. Well, I am also grateful for a lot of things this year. I'm grateful that knock wood IVF finally worked. I'm grateful that we have a house we have a roof over our head period. Period. I'm grateful that our landlord is installing a dishwasher and a new sink in a garbage disposal because our sink was sinking. Quite literally literally sinking. I am grateful that key more stuff keeps appearing in our neighborhood. Like, a they're they're they're building a coffee shop across the street from me. And I love living in a neighborhood that I can walk places where you can walk places because in L A, that's kind of rare the community. Yeah. Ish ish. But yeah, I'm very grateful for that. I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for my dog. Even though he was very annoying on his walk this morning. I am also grateful that I'm close with my family because not everyone is that's a true gift. Yeah. Vote both physically close and also emotionally close. I'm not physically close to my family. But I am emotionally close to my family. And I'm grateful that I'm spending thanksgiving with some of them and spending thanksgiving with my sister and her family, which I'm really happy about. And I'm grateful that the Democrats took the house eight. Amen. I'm grateful for this podcast. I like it too. And for you. We'll say eight and I'm grateful for my friends. I'm grateful that you know, crippled, and I still have friends. Like, you know, we hear like, I would say friendship is one of the top three things that we hear about on this podcast. Not interesting. Yeah. And kind of navigating adult friendships is complicated, especially when a lot of your close friends live across the country, but FaceTime to the close friend yesterday who lives in New York, and that was really nice. It was like, oh, I miss her. Did you express your gratitude for said friend in your conversation? Yeah. I mean, we were both sort of like, I miss you. I love you. Also, her daughters, so cute and starting to like crawl around. Yeah. So like, I'm grateful for all of that. And I'm wondering have you expressed your gratitude, you mentioned your family. Have you told them that you are grateful for them? No. But I should. I mean, not to nudge you in that direction. But I wonder if he wrote a letter. I don't think you know. How would it be received? They'd be like what the fuck. You know? I think my I think everyone would be very touched. It just like it's so like not something that would happen in my family like at all. And I think you bring up a good point certain practices aren't great for everybody. Like, I think they would be touched and also sort of like are you okay? I did that to my dad. I wrote him. I in therapy. I talked about this this like some of the things he did for me when I was a kid. That I had never really thanked him for like when I was a teenager like once I was at a fish concert in Albany, New York, and the people I happen to be with who didn't know very well started using hard drugs, and it freaked me out who God. And I called my parents. And I was like, hey, I'm leaving Albany and driving home to Boston. This is like at eleven o'clock at night on like a random was you supposed to like stay was in a stay over at this person's house, then drive home the following morning. And I I was really uncomfortable. And my dad this was in nineteen ninety seven my dad, drove out on the mass pike and met me like they picked a rest stop and met in between. And then we caravan home together until like two in the morning, and I hadn't thought about that in years. And so I wrote him, and I wrote him this like heartfelt card, and then I got this was like banks for letter, you know, like dads. They don't write in full sentence. Yup. But I have to think hopefully. But I'm sure it felt good. So, but you know, it it felt good even. If even if he I think he did appreciate it. But it felt good to just aknowledge because I think sometimes as a kid at least for me, I happen to be a very I think a bit of a selfish kid and took for granted. A lot of the things that my parents did for me. So starting to kind of come out of that now as an adult feels good this is sounds a little selfish. But it felt nice to be like, oh, God the thing. I didn't appreciate when I was eighteen. I appreciate a lot. Now. Totally. So anyway, it worked for me, you might not want to do it. I mean, we'll see. I don't know. We'll I excited to spend thanksgiving with my sister and her family, I love your relationship with your sister. Something. Daria say, I'm grateful for it. Oh, it's cool. Seeing people model relationships. I don't have a sister. And it's I like learning from you guys. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. You have daughters who are sisters. Oh, I do. Yes. You do. And Lord help me. I'm grateful for them relationship with each other. But. Do you have specific thanksgiving traditions that you do as a family? That's a great question. It's changed, you know, because we used to go to my grandparents house and have a very talion thanksgiving with the lasagna or manicotti as my grandmother used to say, which is not any sort of pronunciation, but it was her Connecticut accent anyway, but they've passed that my mom passed away. And then a new tradition was born on my mom's side of the family and like the entire extended family gathers. So all my mom's cousins, my dad goes, and my step mom, who are they're still very much a part of my mom's family, even though my mom's passed away all these just like extended cousins and kids, and they all gather at one person's house, and unfortunately, it's a little bit hard for us to go because we live on the west coast. But that is, but I still we always face time with everybody, and I'm seeing just this huge extended. I think that's really that's really special. Even though I'm not there to be at it. Totally this year my family. My immediate family is going on a little vacation, which I think we really need some quality time together. So I'm so excited for you guys. And speaking of gratitude, I'm very grateful that we are able to have the means to do something like this because we haven't just the four of us kind of been together as a family unit, and like a relaxed way in a long time and I'm excited to make some new memories. Oh, that'll be so fun. I think so. Yeah, I'd love to hear about our listeners thanksgiving traditions to I would too and how you've made new ones. Yeah. I think what's what's tricky about traditions is sometimes it can feel weird to organically start one. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's few do as kids that you keep doing into your adulthood, but figuring out ways to create new ones can feel kind of clunky. So I would love totally we'll have gone about that as well. And if we we haven't made it clear, we're very incredibly grateful for everyone who listens podcast. Thank you. So so much it's truly an honor truly and thank you to our advertisers. Who were going to hear from now? Yes. Good segue. Rate-setting? Today's episode is brought to you by hum nutrition is a vitamin company changing the beauty industry. Initiating a movement that has already inspired over half a million people to lead healthier lifestyles their mission is to help you look and feel their your very best by turning your self care routine inside out how makes inner health foundation with a focus on prevention and long-term care not just damage control and covering up demystify supplements by connecting users with a free personal ardine nutritionist via a quick online quiz who provides personalized product recommendations based on your goals, and needs and all this happens online and to make your life easier. It ships right to your doorstep. Plus offers convenient and flexible saving monthly plans. Dave developed over thirty innovative and ultra specific formulations that worked from the inside out to support clear. Glowing skin improve gut health, fuller hair enhanced mood and a healthy body all ingredients that are line of supplements. Powders and Gumy's are backed by. Clinical results, sustainably sourced, non GMO and free of gluten soya, artificial, colors and preservatives. Plus they have a lot of vegan options like glow sweet glow. Which I take every day. An m a big fan of it contains Hyler onic acid and vitamin c and easy to keep your skin hydrated and glowing. And I have to say it has a delicious tangerine flavor. Tea at twenty percent off go to um nutrition dot com and use code forever. Thirty five at checkout. That's nutrition dot com for twenty percent off using code forever. Thirty five. Today's episode is brought to you by hint hint fruit infused water has just enough natural fruit flavoring to make it taste great without any diet sweeteners or other sketchy ingredients like some other flavored water brands have hint is easier and more convenient than trying to make your own water with fruit at home and with a huge variety of delicious fruit flavors to choose from. They'll keep your taste buds coming back for more. Are you looking to jump start your day? Try hint kick which is fruit infused water with all natural caffeine. Or if you want flavor with little sparkle? Try hint fizz sparkling water with delicious fruit flavors. You can buy individual flavors variety packs or join the flavor of the month club and try new flavor every single month. Yeah. You can keep your home or office stock by subscribing, you just pick your favorite flavor of righty pack, selector delivery frequency every fourteen thirty or sixty days and have it delivered to your doorstep, and you can cancel or skip a delivery. Anytime hint is perfect for everyone. But esp. Especially those who don't like the taste of plain water, but value health or people who want to give up soda, but still want eight Horita. I love a treat Doria. I have to tell you. Yes. Tell me I had never heard of caffeinated water before hint came into my life. But I've been kind of transformed by this. Black raspberry hint kick, I was going to a concert. Yes. And do you know what I drank on my way there? A hint kick brilliant. I was going to see the World Series. Oh, and I drink a hint Kim. My husband is also a big fan of hint kick. It's just like, you know, how you would normally maybe instead of a coffee or soda, but this is like a nice way to be hydrated. Also, just get like a little boost. I am a fan of their watermelon. Sparkling water me to the very good delicious to receive thirty six bottles for thirty six dollars. Which is a great deal. Visit drink hint dot com slash forever. Thirty five and use promo. Code forever. Thirty five. The offer is only valid for the next two months. So act now that's drink. Hint dot com slash forever. Thirty five and use promo code Farber. Thirty five to receive thirty six bottles for thirty six dollars. Remember, it's for a limited time only only valid for the next two months. So act ASAP. Our guest today is Emily McDowell. Emily, welcome to the pod. Thanks so much for having me. We are going to start things off with a bio, which is what we normally. Do. We have a guest on yours is extra special. Do you know why I don't know? Okay. Your friend. Carey shaping wrote us an Email when she found out you were going to be on the podcast, and she asked if she could write the bio for you for your. Yeah. She didn't she'd it. Oh my God. Okay. So we didn't actually write this one Kerry shape, and thanks so much for writing us, and for giving us this bio of your dear friend, Emily. All right. You're ready. I'm ready. Our guest today is writer illustrator and entrepreneur. Emily mcdowell. She is the founder of Emily McDowell studio, a stationery and gift company that helps us all say what we really mean to the people and the relationships we really have. She is the creator of empathy cards and co author of the book there is no good card for this. What to say and do when life is scary awful and unfair to people you love while all of this is impressive, it only scratches the surface of what makes Emily special, Emily is the human equivalent of your favorite, yoga pants, comfortable, cozy and irreplaceable. And just what you need at the end of the day. She is the serum of your dreams in the form of a woman, always willing. Plump up your spirit, heal your emotional blemishes. And make sure that you are glowing best version of you that you can be. I hope everyone who listens to this interview is a lucky enough to have a friend. They love as much as I love. Emily mcdowell. Okay. I'm crying. That made me weepy an I don't we just you, and I just met, and I don't know. Carrie, well Carey is the one who told me about this podcast, thanks, Kerry and Kerry washes her face because of you, oh, and because of your podcast work here started washing. I mean watching it in a in a in a detailed way, and it's changed her life. And I started washing my face, and in detailed way because carried it and told me how much it changed her life and told me about this podcast, though, you are responsible for so much face washing and life changing which is responsible for nighttime. Face washing everywhere drill contributions. One. Skin is remarkably smooth. Oh, thank you. What do you do? I mean, we will talk about your very impressive resume, but I'm happy to talk about. What is your face washing regimen? Like, what did you dive in with Hollis choice? Oh, we get a line of emails about policy. So this was a carry. This was I basically was like Kerry tell me what you do, and I will do it. And so she sent me photos and very detailed information about all of the products. And then I went and did my own little policy choice information thing like you can go on their website and tell polish choice what kind of skin you have. And what your problems are. And they will tell you what to buy. And so I use a. Well, I I use a missile or water missile. How do you say that word a we don't shake me solarzone salarmy, but that could be copy wrong? John Paul Mesa Larr. Exactly. Okay. I use that. And that I just got it like vaughn's like. Yeah. Something von's, and then I use a policy choice face wash. And then I use one of their toners. That I think is called like resist just wanting. Very on point very on brand. And then I use one of us like two percents some sort of salicylic acid or some some sort of serum which I think they're serums are great. It's really good. And then sometimes I'm feeling extra fancy. I use like a extra moisturizer on. My skin is really oily. And so generally, I'm not, hyper moisturizing, and I use their own. Now, I use sunscreen, I've lived in LA for eleven years, and I started using sunscreen just seven months ago. I know the never never, and it's this lightweight moisturizer sunscreen that they have that's that's a perfect regimen. Yeah, it's great. It's great. And it doesn't take that long. Like, it's not. No, it only takes like three minutes. Like, it sounds like a long time. But you were not a face washer before not in. A I wasn't either. Not in a very I mean, it's not that I didn't ever wash my face. But I I wasn't loyal to a product. I didn't really know what water things were supposed to go in. I didn't understand like Sierra. Like, I, you know. I just kind of would I would see something that had good packaging or I would like read something in an alarm magazine on a plane and be like, yeah, I'm going to get that. And then I would get it and use half of it, and like polish wise, I just this is my first time ever. Reordering products when they run out like that's test. Right. Like like of somebody who's committed to something. Yeah. So yes, you I follow. I followed you on Instagram for many years, and you've talked a lot about how you've kind of been taking care of yourself nurturing yourself differently. This year is that has been part of. Oh, yeah. Definitely. It definitely has been a part of it. I basically worked myself into being like a shell of a human. It was it's so interesting because people because I have this this brand that. Is really like is fun. You know, like the stuff is fun. The work is fun. And you get all the time. I get the comments like your job must be so fun. And like, yes. Like part of my job is fun. But I was up until this year the soul artist end writer and content creator. And like, you wrote all the marketing emails, and designed all the blitz as in the website and everything and then also ran the company, and so I had a lot. Yeah. It was a lot. And I had we had a warehouse in Las Vegas, and we had an office here. And I had six remote employees, and we had eight in the warehouse, and it was a it was just a it was a lot. And we went through a lot of we went through massive growth, which is very fast, which is great. But also was so challenging in that we were a different company every three months for you and a half years. And so it was every time we created and figured out how to solve the problem. The solution would be outdated like three months later and running both the wholesale and website parts of the business require totally different. Things and different staff and different thinking and resources. And so I had just gotten to a place. Sort of in the spring of this year where? I was just like running on nothing. I mean, I was I had only cared about work for five years and at the expense of everything else in my life. You know, I was unhealthy. My my like, I never saw my partner like our relationship was like, hey, high five and a hallway like it was not, you know, like every I was I would spend whole weekends asleep. Like, I was really really I was really depressed. I was really just not functioning. And when it came time to sit down and do the work, and the work is supposed to be like joyful like this is supposed to be the fun part and it felt like digging a ditch. And it's like, you know, writing some writing like a funny greeting card shouldn't feel like digging a ditch like that's not what this is. Right. And so I actually made a big change to the business model at the beginning of this year. We merged with a company called knock knock which is a gift brand gift and publisher that. It's been around since two thousand two they are much. They're still indie company, but they're larger than we are with a much more established infrastructure and a much more sabotaged wholesale business. And so that gave us the opportunity to sort of meld with their infrastructure, and to take some of that management responsibility off of me. And so now we along with a third a third smaller brand called it was formerly sisters of Los Angeles. And now, it's called people places and things and the three of us are the who's their group, and I am a equity partner and who's there, and I still run Emily McDowell studio, but we have a lot more in terms of resources and people and things people who aren't me doing things and people who aren't me helping to manage my former employees who came over and who weren't getting mentoring because I didn't know how to mentor them like we had hit my ceiling to and so it was like we were all kind of the blind leading the blind. Like, I don't know. Like, I guess we'll try this. And then we'll try that. And then we'll try this. And now they have people who can teach them in in a better way that I could teach them. And so it's it's a lot better. And so one of the things that I've been able to do even though this year has been really busy with the merger is like I took my first vacation and years, and I went to Bali for two two weeks to months, I wish two weeks two and a half weeks. And in may, and I really unplugged. It was the first vacation I've ever taken since starting this company. Almost six years ago where I didn't look at my Email every day like where I didn't work every day. Right. And I've only taken I've only taken I think to vacations period in that time. And so it it was really transformative. And it's funny because it was a relatively short period of time. Right. Like, you think two weeks is kind of like not anything, but it actually really likes. I feel like something happened to me on a cellular level while I was there some sort of shift that I came home. And there was everything felt different. Like, my nervous system felt different. I was like instead of sitting there watching TV and like twitching and picking and like not being able to focus on anything. And like having my partner we like what is wrong with you. You know, like every five minutes it was like a columnist. It was a it was a totally different. It felt like. The in my I can't even describe this very well. But it felt like the insides of me got rearranged and put back into order, and I did a lot of like I did sound healing like one on one sound healing that. But in Bali, so basically our trip to Bali was like healing one to one like we got some sort of massage or sound treatment or therapy or IRA thing or facial or something every single day. Like, that's all we we it was a friend. And I went and a friend of mine who is leads meditation retreats, and is a great friend. So she was like I'm going to be. You're like I'm gonna make sure that you do this for yourself. You had a guy I did have a guide and she'd been to Bali three times, and I'd never been. And so she she knew what to do. And she kind of booked everything. And and I was just like just you take care of it. And we'll do it. And it was amazing and Bali is a culture in which self care is really important. Like they have charts in the airport bathroom that show. You what color your P should be and aren't because they're like hydrate like in the airport bathroom like this care about like. And so there are an and so like the ball unease will they get massages twice a week as part of a self care regimen. And so it's like twelve dollars an hour for a massage. It's it's an incredibly inexpensive. When you go there as someone from the US to be able to do like three treatments a day if you want to and so that's really it was like this intensive like. Total. Switch around for me of being in my body for the first time in years. And it was like you kind of knew that you had to do total reset. Oh, yeah. I knew that. I was I didn't know how it was going to happen. Like, I was in that place where I was like, I am a I am like a disaster of a person right now. Like, I am I feel like I felt like I was living from the neck up completely like whatever was happening down. There was like it was like it was like not really a thing. Like looking down the rest of my body doing like, oh, there's an arm. Someone's arm if it's mine. And I gained thirty pounds since twenty six to in two thousand sixteen in two thousand seventeen from stress and starting with the election. I really think like collectively as a nation. We we that. Didn't that didn't help us are healthwise. Like, everyone I knew at gained stress wait after the election, and I just kind of kept going, and so it was I was just everything I was eating I living on sugar and like. Yeah. I was I was in a bad spot. And how did you how have you been able to kind of maintain some of those self care practices are just prioritizing your needs like that since you've come home? Because obviously. Yeah. Came home from a beautiful vacation. And now, it's like you're at your job, and you're back in your home. And I was terrified that was my biggest like I came home. And I was like how am I going to do this? And so a few things happened. I quit eating sugar at the end of my trip. And so now, it's been almost five months. And I am a person who lest you. Thank you cannot quit other. I am a person who have attempted like seven whole thirties in the past. If like whole for was a fag. Be like so good at very you're very good at I'm super good at home for but I had done one whole thirty successfully in two thousand fourteen and like white knuckling it like, you know, and and. Cheating like just not doing things, right and immediately. It was like day thirty like the bell rang. And I was like face I, and, but I'm sure. And. This time I stopped eating sugar. And it was literally it was I noticed it was like, oh, I've gone a day and a half without eating sugar. What if I just keep going because I've also been having I I'm forty two. And I I'm in the massive paramount pas, which is happening a little early for me based because of the chemo that I had twenty years ago, and my symptoms have been real bad. And that was another thing that's been happening. These last couple of years is like just everything from the brain fog massive mood, swings like confusion thinking you're going insane. What? Nights wets, like waking up having to change my shirt like three times like really, intense stuff and. I can't do bio identical hormones or any thing like that because of medical history. So I was just kind of like. Okay. Like, I guess this is gonna just no one can tell me when this will. And so I guess I'm just gonna live with us. And you know, and. But then I was reading about how quitting sugar, and and all the things you don't wanna do like. Basically whole thirty style eating which is like whole foods, and no processed food and no alcohol, and no sugar and all the things that you sound that sound totally on fun. Helps with symptoms. That's like one of the very few things that actually helps. And so I was feeling motivated by that to like, I'm gonna just I'm going to just stop and see what happens and for whatever reason. It hasn't been hard. And I don't know why. I don't I wish I could explain it. I wish I could. I wish I could bottle it and explain it not just because I would become a billionaire. But I, but because it's I would not have believed you if you'd ever said, you'll quit sugar and like everything like Honey maple syrup like all everything except fruit like, you'll quit sugar. You'll quit drinking and that's inclu includes hall to. Yeah. I've had a couple of glasses of wine like my twentieth. College reunion happened like two weeks into this. And I was like. And so I did drink a little bit then. But I really I've had a couple of glasses of wine here and there, but for the most part sugar was a bigger problem for me than alcohol, Mike, I wasn't a huge drinker before. So just saying no to most of it hasn't been that big of a deal, but the sugar was has been a really big deal. And so. And I was already gluten free. So it's already like, you know. So the restrictions felt the restrictions. Have always felt like oh, that's too much. But for whatever reason, I don't know why it was like my body was like you. Nope. Like, it was like a self preservation instinct, kicked in like, no, you got to you got to figure this out and my the symptoms. All of the the paramount house stuff has gotten so much better. Like, I would say at least a seventy five percent improvement. Oh that must be such a relief such a relief. And so that is a motivator. You know as much as anything else to keep going. I really think my skin has gotten way better. I really think that's a results of no sugar. I've lost some way seventeen pounds or something over five months, which is which is great. My husband. It's been doing. This has been has been eating similarly and has lost like forty five. And so I'm like. I know. But you know, he's a dude. And like that's what outright so he's like wearing his clothes from college. And I'm like, oh, cool. Good for you on me. But, but yeah, it's it's it's been it was really just it was really a shift of I had to decide. My inner peace and my personal happiness have to come. I like they have to and my health and. It's a choice that I have that. I am continually that you have to make seventy five times a day. You know, like to say do not work isn't important. But this thing is the most important thing. And so the rest of the choices that I make are going to support my health I and my mental state and my physical state and everything else gets woven in around that instead of. I can fit I'll fit health and sometime later, you know, like, which was my attitude for so long, which is just like, a totally different mindset, totally different mindset. And so I've been working with a coach like I've been I've been really like in it and and reading a ton of bucks doing a lot of work doing what of spiritual work. Actually, you talk about that. Because I. We saw it on your instincts. I remember when you. When I liked him out. Reread that posts last night. And it was great. We're like there's stuff you might have noticed that I'm a little different in. It's because I'm like deep diving into spirituality, and I would love to hear if you're open to sharing. I would love to hear more about that. What you're reading what brought that on. And how how it's impacted you. Yeah. So I have been it's so I was raised totally not religious and religion was never a part of my life. I didn't I was atheist agnostic. It was just like I come from like an east coast intellectual family. So it was like not a thing. And I have been interested in. Basically the central question of like who I am. And what I'm supposed to be here for like what my purpose is for for quite some time. And actually in two thousand eleven I started a spiritual psychology program at the university of Santa Monica, which is here in LA, and they do an online program to and they've been around for like twenty five years and at the time it was a two years master two year master's program. And I think they've changed it since since then, but. It was a it was this intensive basically exploration of who am I? What what is my purpose? What is this universe all about? And what is the role of something bigger than me? Whether it's whether you call it God or spirit or energy, or whatever what is that thing. And how does that impact me and how and how do I live with it and work with it? And what is it? And it was a great program. And I went I went to it because I had quit my job in advertising. And I didn't know what I was going to do with the rest of my life. And what ended up happening was really as a direct result of. Going of what I was learning in this program about stripping back. And remembering who I was and like unlearn a lot of the things that I had learned throughout my life. As a result of living in this culture and unloading that in going back to what do I love? What why am I here? Yeah. That was what starting company came out of like it that was that will any worse. So we had at work. Actually, it was what was what turned into a company and because and it was like cool. This is great. This is amazing. This is why I did that like I did this to figure this out and a lot of people. It's a it was a program was so interesting. It was in its in my class. I think the youngest person was twenty one and the oldest woman was eighty. Wow, man, and people came for all different reasons. And I think the the majority of people were mid-career successful in one had been really successful as a lawyer or accountant or whatever and saying what else is there like this? I climb the ladder. I did what I thought I was supposed to do to make me Abby. And it didn't. Really like it didn't pan out that ladder was like leaning against the wrong wall or the ladder lead nowhere. And like, what am I supposed to actually do? And I was in that camp and the company got so busy that I had to drop out of the program. Like, I basically had those the company took off really quickly and I had to choose. Okay. Do I put all this energy into this company or do I say? Okay. Great. I'm going to honor this I'm gonna honour this program and finish out this two years. And I decided at the time that I should take advantage of the momentum of the company and that if I wanted to finish the program, I could always go back and do that and finish the second year, which I didn't actually end up doing not because it wasn't great. But because I've been just neck deep in the company since two thousand twelve q toggle little bit about the early days of the company like what kind of lead you to even start. Yeah. Well, it wasn't a company. It was I was freelancing and advertising. I was in this program on the weekends. And I started writing and illustrating comics and going back to the stuff I like to do as a kid, which was that. And so you'd never done that proportionally. No, no, no. I was creative writing major in college. But it was pre computer like cork, I graduated from. In nineteen ninety eight. And so the and I was an art minor. But it was like fine. Art, like, it was you know, I did like fiber art, which super employable. Creative writing and fiber. Art, major please, hire me and computer, it wasn't like computer designed or anything. And so I learned I learned that through being an art director and advertising, and then be and then had become a writer and advertising realized that that I that I liked that better. And so I, but I'd never done any kind of my own stuff professionally and so I just started a tumbler blog, and and started posting the stuff for my friends. Really? And people started saying I would buy that like I would buy that. I would you know, you should you should sell those things. And so I was also lettering and lettering, then wasn't a huge trend. There was a Merrick. Eight mcdevitt was doing it. And Jessica hitch was doing it. There are few people. But it wasn't like it is now. And so I started lettering and drawing and Pinterest was just getting started. And so back, then you could put something on Pinterest and. Just by virtue of it being up there. People would repent it because the volume of traffic wasn't as high as it is now, and so you could put something up, and if and if it was interesting to people it would spread and they would repent it. And so I started doing that. And I was like, okay. This is people are liking what I'm doing. Like, this is cool. This is this maybe could be a thing. And so I opened on Nazi store, and I couldn't think of a good name for it. And I just wanted to open it. So I just called it my name, which is the reason like to this day that the company's me not the best idea turns out. But yeah, I had an see store, and I saw prince for awhile that I just printed on a fancy Epson that I bought and shipped out, and I couldn't and I really wanted to do cards. But I felt I I was not a business person. You know, I had not run a business. And I was an I was like why how can I make money on something that costs like three dollars? You know? And yeah, when I can make this I can take the same art and put it on a print and sell it for twenty five dollars. Like, why would I sell it for four dollars? And then I. Then I learned a little bit about sending it to a printer and life. You know, what could happen? And and but really what the impetus was it wasn't even that to start doing cards was. Really starting to feel like. I don't even know if I'll ever make money doing this. But this is what I, but there I feel like there's an opportunity to say something that isn't being said in this world, and I'd always had trouble. Finding cards at the store that felt like they actually spoke to the relationships. I had like they were always really gushy poems about mothers day or the the look like the boyfriend cards were never appropriate for like, whatever weird as relationship. I was in an so Valentine's Day was coming up. And I it was like, you know, what I've never seen a card that is to give to the person that you're like kind of dating, but not really and Valentine's Day comes and you're like shit, like do I give them a normal card, and then give them a speech? Like, this isn't that big of a deal. Like here you go. Or do. I not get them anything. And then that's weird. Because what if like if they give me something laying and like, should we knowledge this do we not like, how do we what how do we deal with that? And that's like there are so many like millions of people in relationships like that. Yeah. Valentine's Day who don't know what to do. And I'd never seen a card that was appropriate for that. And so I made one that was basically the text of the speech that you give to somebody when you would hand them normal guard like I know we're not like together or anything, but it felt weird to not say anything. So I got you this card, and it was just a little thing at the end like the whole little sort of ranch. And at the end of just says forget it like really little letters. And I put it in my out to shop, and I figured and I had like one hundred printed at a local printer because that's the that was the lowest number I could make and I felt like maybe I'll you know, if I sell five of this those five people are going to be so psyched, like, I don't know if I don't know if people will see this. But I, but I felt really confident that if people did see it they would buy it. But the piece of it that I could felt like I couldn't control. Will people see this like who knows? I don't know. And what happened was at sea. Put it on their Facebook page. And that and that was before the algorithm changed like remember when brands didn't have a different algorithm as regular people. And you know, they just anyone that followed at sea would see its posts. And this was during that time. And so it ended up being at sees most shared and most liked post of that whole year. Oh, my go- shared it. Yeah. And they and it was like on everywhere from like Cosmo dot com to the it was on the front page of read it it was on like it was on funnier die like it was it went just super super viral, and I had basically a week to ship them becomes. I didn't really think about the timing. Like, you think about you have to ship a Valentine like if you if someone buys a card for me right thing to ship it the day before because they have to get it. You know? So you have to stop shipping at like a week are more in advance of the holiday, and so I basically had one week. To sell these things. And I ended up selling seventeen hundred of them only my God one by one like you were doing all the shipping yourself. I was in. I didn't even have a room in my house. I mean, I had I had like a laptop in my living room. I was and so I was buying envelopes at paper source like I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't know how to do this. And I just kept calling the printer because I didn't know how many more to print, and I'm to be like one hundred more one hundred more than that became like, I guess do three hundred more because it just kept going, and there were guys that were ordering like ten of them, which was so funny God, and like creepy, and like, you know, and then and I had guys that were like, and it was really cute there were there were like several guys actually the bought to that that support a note in that into like notes to sell are saying, I'm buying an extra in case. I screw up the first one, oh, which I thought was so cute since we, and they were and there was like people trying to order them from like, South Africa and let you know and like. And like where it would it would take a month to ship it. And I was like you guys just print it out. Like don't stress out about this. The shipping is going to be dollars. You know, like, this is a piece of paper. I appreciate your enthusiasm. But but so it was nuts. And it was like round the clock that week, and my my stepson was like seven at the time six, and he was like putting cards and together. Like, it was just it was it was like mayhem. And but at the end of that week, it was like, okay. I think I'm onto something here. And I think that I could figure out a way to do this. Because I know that I have a lot of things to say. And I it feels like the audience is here. And so it's a matter of figuring out the logistics of this thing, and I think I'm up for that challenge. And so that was the beginning of it and having gone through that, and then that has grown into a company, and then you've merged did you do you feel like through that experience that you did find your purpose? I feel like part of it. Yeah. I found part of it. I think there is going to be. There is going to be another stage that is that is that is coming that. I think is going to be more about one of the things that I'm really excited about with what's coming next. And with the merger is that we are. We're going to be bringing in some other artists and other writers and other people to do both like. Licensed collections and other artists and writers to work under this brand. And there there may be there are some changes in the works that I can't quite announce yet. But that are that are super exciting in that direction. And we have a big collection launching in January with a with an artist who I can't say yet. But as a friend of mine who I'm super super excited about and one of the things that that's this move is going to allow me to do is be more of a. More of like, a host of a variety show and a curator and a creative director, then actually executing all of the work. And so I'm really excited to I have this platform that we built and to be able to be like everyone. This is dorrie look how awesome Dory is like go, check out Dory's collection. Go check out Cates collection. Go check. Today, and I'm really excited about moving more in that direction. And then also at the same time, then being able to do more podcasting. Do more writing do more speaking. I wanna do another book. I wanna do, you know, they're all of these things that I wanna do that go beyond making products. And so I'm really excited that it looks like I'm going to have the opportunity to do those things which is great. That's cool. I wanted to find out what what you're kind of daily spiritual practices aren't because we talked about. Yes. Taking that intensive yes, not promoters program. What do you do go to kind of ground yourself? So Jolla, here's what I do. I get I quit watching TV period. Like for the most part like period for four months. And then now I watch like maybe an hour a week. And it's really mindful. Like, what do you watch will right now? Right now mindful. I watched bachelorette, exactly. Was here. It was a spiritual one I'm wanting. No, it's not about the mind. It's just I choose. I'm not just like it's not just like consuming like whatever on TV. But right now right now, we're watching the newest season of insecure. Yeah. Which is great. And so it's like this is something I really wanna to walk. It's not just like bachelor in paradise or something Random House, hunters Marathi. Exactly. Right. Right. Like, I'm not right. No one's not watching people flips something like, whatever. How chip and Joanna. Yeah. Now that it's not great. But it was like, okay. I have to be. It's basically been a really really like strict is the wrong word might like purposeful. Curation of my time. Selective? Selective? Right. Select curated my time. And so I get up. I write in a journal most mornings some mornings, I don't do it. But I try to do it. I I work at the office three days a week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, which is a long commute for me. Which is why I'm only in the office two days three days a week. And then Monday, Friday, I work from home. And so every day includes journal journaling, which I had not done for years, and I'm back into and I really liked doing it. And I and I do not let myself read it once I've written I can go back and read it like a couple of weeks later. But like my tendency because I've been writing to to turn it into something for so long like the re the the the synapses in the path in my brain is writing in like, monetization or connected. And so it's like can I what do I turn this? What will this become and it's like, no, just right? Just right terrible. Crap. Like, you don't it doesn't have to become anything. It doesn't have to be don't have to have a higher purpose for this writing. Just just right to right. And so I do that. I meditate sometimes five minutes sometimes like up to half an hour. Guided meditations are great like I think that a lot of people think that guided meditations are somehow like cheating more like that. They're less like that. They're like less effective or that like in order to be a real meditate or you have to like sit there, you know. On a hard cushion and just be with your brain. And actually, that's totally not true. Like the effects are the same. Whether you're doing that or or or or listening to somebody and I find that guided meditations. Especially in the beginning. When I was learning to do it were so helpful in terms of having something else to focus on and getting out of my thoughts. And being able to feel like I was connecting in that way. Do you have an app or like a program that yes, I love insight timer? I tried to do head space. But I didn't like how you had to head space. Kind of makes you listen to things sequentially and you have to like unlock things by doing other things. And I was like that's too many rules. I wanna be heavily listen, and it's like this, and it may be different now. But it was like this one guy. And I was like I like I like to listen to a lady and I liked like, I just had like different. I had different. I wanted to do different things. And so I love the insight timer app because you can do a guided meditation or you can also like have it just time you and do and you can put bells at certain intervals like sometimes I'll do. A practice that gosh, I think it I think it was like Tony Robbins or somebody that I I heard about it where it's like you do three minutes of gratitude, and then a bell rings to signal that that to shift shift you're thinking and then three minutes of manifestation of like feeling into the things that you want to create in your life and then three minutes of. Like loving kindness like sending loving out into the world. And I really liked that practice. And that feels like because it also feels like when you have something to focus on in your brain. Instead of just your breath. I find that's really helpful in terms of quieting the rest of my mind and having the time, you know, and not just feeling like I'm sitting there. Waiting for the time to go buy or like trying to get out of that crawling mind feeling. What else do I do? I'm working with a woman, Robin rice who is who's who's amazing like she's a she's a shaman, and she is author and she is. Like us. I don't know how to describe her spiritual leader elder. The wisest person I've ever met in my life like basically every like, and I just working with her has been so helpful, and we talk we Skype twice a week. And. Are working on sort of a project a project together. That's basically. Helping me. Figure out the next iteration of my voice in the world. And also helping me learn to. Let go of a lot of the habits that I had created that. We're not serving me and replace them with habits that do serve me and. A lot of that is connecting spiritually and learning to trust my intuition and learning to trust. I'm not like I sounds like such a cliche thing to say like trust the universe because I certainly I'm not going to be one of those people that says, well, everything happens for a reason. But I what I do think is that shitty things happen. And that. It's of course, you're gonna feel shitty about them like that's human, and that's normal. And like that's a that's of course. But that you also then get to decide what that experience ultimately is going to mean for you. And how you're going to use what you learned in that experience. And you it doesn't mean that you say, oh, I'm glad this person. Do you know like it's not like, oh this person died, and so therefore have to turn it into this like? Internalize it and turn it into this positive thing. But it's more about this thing happened, and I get to choose now. What I do moving forward, and how that affects me, and how that and really and really making conscious choices and understanding. The space between. Action and reaction so taking that taking taking that pause and being able to respond instead of react and. Cultivating. Which which helps, cultivate, detachment from emotions and helps, cultivate, like because for me when I'm really driven by emotions all the time. Like, that's not great like, it, it it it contributes to depression, and it contribute like it contributes to exile. And and so a lot of the spirituality stuff for me is about learning how to take a step back and. Get quiet in my body and feel an and feel into my life like. On. It's it's so much on learning. It's so much on learning. I feel like I'm not explaining it. Very well. And I think one of the things one of the things that's really hard. I find explaining spirituality, really, really difficult and. One of the challenges that I have for myself is to is to figure out how to explain what I'm learning right now in a way that other people can understand and people who are turned off by the concept of spirituality because the concept of spirituality comes with a lot of like weird baggage or like, oh, I don't want another book with a rainbow on the cover. And and unlike it's just it just sounds like me m- city, you know, and a lot of people saying like love yourself, and you're like cool. How the hell do I do that, you know, and? One of the big challenges that I'm posing for myself that I'm that. I'm excited about is starting to write into that space of. Not that. I can tell you how to love yourself. But I can tell you how I'm learning to love myself. And maybe that will help you, Emily. This was amazing. And you're amazing. Thank you. So happy to be here. Yeah. It was just so great to talk to you. And we love everything that you do. So thank you. Love your heart, your heart sent so many of your cards drank out of so many of your mom. Where can people find you people can find us online at Emily McDowell dot com? They can also find us at fifteen hundred or so retailers, and there is if you go to the footer of Emily McDowell dot com, you there's a big there's a retailers link that has an orange and people can click that and look up by city and state where retailers are locally retailers won't always carry the same like the whole the only place to get the whole whole selection is on our website, and we do free shipping over thirty five dollars. Just throwing that out there. But yes retailers are also great if you wanna just pick something up locally, please do thanks so much. Thank you again to carry. Yeah. That amazing by love you carry Jake. Ben. Thank you carry Jason. So kate. Yes. How did good old honoring the cold go? Well, I did shoot. You a text message on Saturday. Do a lot of we do a lot of texting we do. And I was I said something the lines of like I just woke up from a three hour nap. It's so I'm I'm so discombobulated, and you reminded me you I believe you were also like I'm so annoyed. Like, you you expressed knowing I felt like I had wasted the. Yes, exactly. But I've been really tired and feeling really rundown in the nap did feel great. And you reminded me that I said I was going to honor my stupid, cold Kate. This is honoring your coal. I this cold has been chugging along for two weeks. Now, I've had it for a while still don't feel great. But I did slow down a little bit. So I guess I did honor Michael good. Yeah. I I don't normally. I normally kind of try to plow ahead when I'm sick. Yeah. And it can be hard to slow down. But I did it. Hopefully, how is your. Your gift figuring out going for your husband. I haven't landed on the gift yet. But I have started doing some perusing. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm like circling around the gift. Do you? Give yourself a deadline for when you wanna have all your holiday gifts purchased by. Nope. Okay. Then. I guess the actual holiday. In the past. I've been known to try to do it all like a couple days before which is not the best. I'd use that overnight shipping. And yeah, like that like run out to the mall. I mean, it's just it's too hectic. Remind me to you and Matt exchange gifts at Hanukkah at Christmas or at both like we exchange gifts at Christmas. So this will be a Christmas we commemorate Hanukkah, and I think like when we have kids I would like to actually like do Hanukkah, but no right now, we just do Christmas. And usually we got our actually now I'm thinking about it. We usually get our Christmas tree over thanksgiving weekend. So we'll probably get it. We're coming home Saturday. We'll probably get it Sunday. You do a fresh tree. We do a fresh tree. I know you have a great fake tree. I love my. And I never thought I would be a fake tree lover. But I love this. Maybe this is the year, we just bite the bullet and. Get the fake tree. It's a it's expensive. I mean, it was like two hundred dollars. Yeah. But by trees are expressive tree. I feel like every year. I feel like we spent we've spent over one hundred dollars at home. And like we go to Home Depot and get the tree we're not going to like fancy artisanal Christmas tree farm, willow and sage Christmas. I I will say the cool thing about my fake tree. If you are eight Christmas celebrator is that it switches light color. So I can either have white lights or colored lights. Ooh. And you don't have to buy separate Lilo the lights come on the tree. Switches to whatever your mood is lights on his so annoyed. The worst. Are we getting fake tree? You got to Costco, right? Chorus, nor I remember you told me, you know, I live in a Costco. Right. I'm gathering. No. I mean to fair you also do you live much closer to Costco than is. There's a Costco, seven minutes from my. Yeah. So, but it's this is getting when like I haven't been to Costco, and so long, but usually we'll do because we're kind of equidistant from the atwater, Costco, and the Burbank Cosco. So we'll usually like plug it into ways and see which one is quicker depending on the time of day. Can really vary. It's true. So just want to welcome one in Alta Cosco. So dory. What is your intention for this thanksgiving week? Well, you know, I think I just want to kind of be in the moment with my family. You know, I I know that that is kind of similar to your intention, but let's have matching attention. Yeah. I just you know, I just wanna be grateful that I'm able to travel to see my family that I'm able you know that I am close with my family. I want to spend some time with my nieces, and you know, my older niece is going to be three in January. So she's starting to be a real. Person, you know, Mike, I don't know. Maybe we'll like baked cookies or something you totally will get to spend quality during other. The my younger knees is turning. It's like a real cute chunky baby. I just want to like, yeah. So I'm very excited. What about you? Mine is very similar. I'm going to be on a vacation with my family, and I would like to disconnect from social media and just focus on I put us, but just like be really present in the moment. I enjoy each other's company. Whether we're squabbling or having are having the best time ever live. It'll take social media off. My that's what I was thinking, you know, just really tried to to be present. And also just slow my my brain down a little bit. But like, you just really appreciate the fact that we get to spend this time together. So thank you listeners. If you are not you celebrate the thanksgiving holiday. We are grateful for you. We hope you're having a lovely day. And as a reminder, you can always reach us at seven eight one five nine one zero three nine zero and our Email is for thirty five podcast at g mail dot com. You can join our Facebook group Facebook dot com slash groups slash forever. Thirty five podcast the password is serums. And if you like the show, we would really appreciate you leaving us a rating or even a review on apple podcasts. It helps people find the show. And if you mentioned us on the social media outlet of your choice. We are also very grateful for that. And for thirty-five is hosted and produced by Dory. Chiffre hearing Kate Spencer and produced an edited by someone we're very grateful for Sammy Hunia, thanks for listening.

Coming up next