Paul Scheer

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Hey buddy good job last night on the golden gloves i i took some still screengrabs which i will be happy to get framed up for you of you in the background. All supporting kate with her nomination. I mean there was there was hollywood royalty. There were kids there were hangers on there. Was you and erin shells. I'll look how beautiful erronous look. How beautiful aaron is and then there you are in the back and i got actually got one of the screen shots when they went back to you guys. When kate didn't win whoever won. I don't remember who the was in the category but she didn't win and then they go back to these different boxes that they were putting up and you were already kind of walking away your everybody else like you're in the back pointed like you're walking out of the room i'm gonna sly was in a weird krishan because you know everyone was on the couch and i. I was late to the party in time right and it was time so i i'm in the back trying to dip down and get my face in there because you know i. It was a good opportunity for me to be seen by hollywood and maybe right for the listeners. Who don't know what we're talking about. We're talking about absolutely nothing right now but right talking about total horse shit yes. The golden globes basically a virtual event zoom calls dipping in. Everybody's home surroundings and oliver is in the back right behind little sister. Kate right behind mommy right by boston. Right behind writer. Who looks like he's ready to star in a bronx tale. Funny writer was so cute last night now. He looked like he was like a ballroom dancer with his pony tail and he looked. Oh you don't see the ponytail. So i just thought he s hair back so he's kinda just corralled his hair. Oh yeah yeah full. He was in full effect last night. Okay it was fun though. We had a good time man. We had a good time. It's funny because when we were waiting for the winner e-e-e-e-no were everyone's in the box and everyone's alone and then of course you've got kate and her insane family you know and it was so such a juxtaposition of everyone else who was waiting for their golden globe announcement. It's like it did strike me. And i took this picture i took too. I just sent you one of them. The one where. You're walking away with a i don't know what are you drinking a glass of champagne or wine or something. I have a martini in there. Okay but you're really lucky you know you're blessed and i think of one of the things that i've always admired about your family and we've talked a billion times that i knew kate. I i know you better is you. You both are always surrounded by people who love you. And i feel like you're you're looking for reasons to get together whether it's an aspen or it's used to be in greece. I don't know if you guys still do that but You travel in a huge pack. And i feel like you get such warmth and strength from having that kind of a family unit around you so while you story with your specific father is not good. Which is why we're in this. Podcast thing at all in. It's called daddy issues you really. You're really surrounded by a lot of love. I've always felt that about you. And i've always felt that about kate. You want family around. And i don't think everybody's like that and you have a cool family that you all challenge each other. Kurt will challenge you. Boston will challenge you why it will challenge you. Kate certainly challenges you and you've challenge all those people and you make them better and they make you better. I think you're you know for all the angst about your dad. I think you have a really good family situation Do you agree thank you. We do know we do. I mean there's no doubt about it. We all live ten minutes away from each other. That's important. I've i've tickled the idea of potentially moving to the valley but you know i'd be too far away. The cousins are all best friends. I mean we have very very tight family unit. Now it doesn't without. It's insanity i mean. Of course. there are the issues within a family. But i think we handle it well. We don't take anything to personally. There always has to be someone to step up. Who is the voice of reason because sometimes shit can get out of control between two family members and then that next. That other person has to come in and say okay. Wait a minute you guys this is. There's bigger things happening here. Then whatever squabble. We're going through like anything. Man like relationships and love and friendship and especially with family. It takes work. It always takes work. And you just remind i mean if you would ever allow and you wouldn't for a thousand reasons like keeping up with the hudson's because it really it it wouldn't be like the yeah. I wouldn't be like the other ones. Because i feel like it's it's a really positive environment. That's led by the patriarch and the matriarch Are a list celebrities like as a as you can get with your mom and kurt. You know on down through the kids. And now the kids kids and the everybody's dynamic and everybody's bring something to the taylor. Everybody's got a project or working on everybody's really taipei. Everybody's really got an opinion. And yet you guys all make it work and you wanna be around each other. I feel like stress. And insecurity and competitiveness would have driven wedges between so many of these different relationships. But you guys just make a work. Which i think is really interesting. Yeah and we talk about it to you. Know when there are the insecurities or potential wedge. You know united sits goodman. I mean. I'm i'm definitely blessed unlucky and so many so many ways you know. Of course i'm sure they'll be comments now being like you fucking prick you entitled little bitch had dare you talk about your life and how whatever struggles you might have. We're talking about good things. We're not struggling. I know but just wait. Just wait the comments and the pea shooters from the top of the bleachers. Really shouldn't matter Which they don't and they don't really know you and Or it was a it was a fun night man. it was it was. It was a fun gathering. You know everyone cates very strict with her cova protocol so we got like pcr tests and then rapid tests at the house and so appreciating something on top of that right. isn't she and her everyday. Yes but we also wanted to have a party you know with. There's only fifteen people there. Maybe but still we wanted to have some semblance of normalcy so we did. We could to get tested further out in advance and then even leading up to it so we could. Actually you know be together and hug and have a sort of a real interaction with each other and it was. It was a blast man. It was really. It was really fun. Well if you want really if you want to remind yourself what. Normalcy really is and being in like a public setting used to be like prior to the pandemic. Go to florida hall. I was like this is. This is how it was. I went down there with three friends to play golf. Two of which have already had covid. So you feel like you know. They're the golden children where you can just be around them. Because they've they've had gotten over it. Have the antibodies in my other friend Both he and i have not had it but we all felt good together and then we would go like. We went to a place to get some margaritas after the airport. On the way to the golf course and we're in a restaurant and it's pretty damn normal. I mean not totally but it's close and you know my god man. I remember what this feels like. There's actually kind of bar service and it's not about all eating and drinking. it's about being around other people and interacting. Now everybody's got masks on but you're also in a place where people are eating and drinking and so unless you're drinking or needing through your baskets coming down so we flew southwest down. There flew southwest back. I mean i i. i'm not even gonna say we're close man would close this thing is almost. We're going to be good end the summer. I think we're going to be. It's gonna be fun can be parties in the streets. Everyone's gonna be making love like it was after world war two baby. Booms gonna happen you. I'm just gonna lie down in the middle of sunset boulevard naked. Just see what happens. That'll be good. Cast that's what will happen a anything i'll sell. I'll sell anything for a price you know. I mean whatever's gonna make us money and whatever's going to give us some sort of popularity with daddy issues. I'm i'm willing to do so. I just came from a funeral which not doing it down but it it. Yeah it's just you know when you go to a funeral in in you you look at what's left behind after somebody passes away and in this case it's it's a dear family friend somebody that i kind of watched after when he was little And this kid had such a special guy Passed away at the age of thirty one. Oh and was Everything you read about like with these kind of larger than life Almost like a almost like a real life action heroes. Somebody that went. It was a great football player. Here in saint louis went to the naval academy was an all american linebacker. The naval academy became a marine then. Spent seven years touring going to different war torn places across the globe establishing security just being on the outer edges of then was becoming a firefighter and ended up taking his own life which it just it. Just you know it. You realize what's left behind and and the destruction and the devastation of of somebody. That is just that accomplished that strong of a personality and that that just was giving kid and really religious and just so many things going on. I think just battling with so much depression and some. Ptsd and who knows what. Whatever else from having played football and a wrestling and boxing and all these different combat situations. But it just makes you stop in this craziness of this world and you just you just become so thankful for for everything that you have around you and coming home and being with the boys and it's just well it's also not only that but just having you know being mentally healthy you know. I mean the way you're describing this guy. It seems like he had everything that he needed and wanted. I mean there's something except fees was something going on man it's just crazy crazy crazy shit. Yeah i mean and so many things just criss crossed and whether it was coverted. Isolation wasn't good for him and not being around a team not having a purpose that way and not did he have kids now. Never married I mean all american stud looking guy But all of that and then in the mid west was a blizzard like an arctic blast and it was snowing and just everything just the isolation and you think about all these people that have just had to be alone during this whole pandemic in dealing with that and worrying about the virus and worrying about loved ones in all that stuff just building on itself really dangerous time in the world for that struggle with mental health. And i you. And i've talked about our own battles with depression anxiety and there's so many varying degrees of it but but this was just a big put a pin in everything. Stop worrying about the little things. Stop stressing over the the day to day and the snarky comments. And that's that's why. I brought it up when he said you know. We'll just wait until the comments you know. Forget all that and we're we're so lucky and just need to realize all that we have not not with russia to comments but just in life and oh yeah yeah and then you know you need those people around you to also help you through things. Meaning you know if you have that depression if you have that mental if some sort of a mental breakdown or a mental illness you know. I'm wondering why he didn't or if even try to get help. Oh yeah he. He went through all that went through all that. But but then once you go through not just the pandemic but you go through like this. The whole mid west was frozen two weeks ago. Nobody was moving anywhere and he was by himself in his apartment a cadet at the kansas city. Kansas fire department and it just things compounded in the worst possible result Happened but yeah so anyway. I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for all that that I have the people that i get to love every day. The people that love me. So let's get back to concentrate on good. I agree i agree. What was his name. Matt brewer uproar. Just an absolute. I mean he was Hero and to. Here's here's the last thing. I'll say about this because i don't tune into podcast but but to see his sister and his brother speak on his behalf and how much this man meant to them and then his mom get up and give the eulogy which was just so deep and so emotional and so brilliantly worded and delivered It's just it's equal parts emotionally distressing. Because you're watching these people just melt up there and then it's impressive that you can get through it. I had to do it for my own. Father i d. i had to give my dad's eulogy and you know my half sister went. I you would have. You would have approved of this line by half sister gets up gives. My dad gives her eulogy of my dad. And then i'm waiting in the front row the church the pew at the church and get up and my opening line was. It's not a good feeling when you're sitting there listening to a eulogy that you know is better than the one you wrote i did. I was like christine. killed it and Here's here's what. I came up with night. Yeah if you ever want to procrastinate. Try writing a eulogy for somebody. Oh my god it's just relating even all of this back to the theme of our show as my boys and girls but wilder thirteen. He's getting older the hormone start to kick in and you begin to sort of wonder what they're thinking because they get they go inward a little bit and you're always wondering if they're okay or i'm wondering okay is he is he. Okay i know he seems down but and I know it's probably just tripping but at some sometimes you get nervous because you do hear about kids and depression. Just when they know they're going inside it's hurry go inside a little bit and you want them to express themselves to you you know. But at the same time you can't force them to And and a at times to say i'm fine. I'm fine but you can sort of feel their energy and then you have to weigh the balance not to win that one of how many times can you say are you okay. Are you okay. But like jesus price dad i know i know. And then you make them not okay with your fucking constant g you know jabbing them. Are you okay But i'm in that moment. Where i you know you think you think you know how to handle things but you know you got to sort of let go trust. Trust their words and then also trust your instincts. I'm not saying in any way. Wilder has depression. But you know he's just he gets moody he's a teenager. It's just hard nine. It's you're reading into body language. You yeah you you're also you're also reading body language and you're all vibe off somebody and you're reading so much these days you know about children and mental health and children's suicide and you know my mom has been as foundation called mind up and she's been working on this for almost twenty years. So you know i. It's just about the mental health children and how we're going to sort of fix that and implementing you know her program to the curriculums and school. Which the conversation. But i've been. I've been around and you're seeing this uptick in children's mental health issues and suicide and of course you know you're clicking on headlines all the time that are click bates but at the same time you're sort of seeing what's going on out there so sometimes i got as my mike. Okay i know where we good and parents. But i wanna make sure that like every screw is tightened in there so you got to walk this line. I'm walk. i walk this line sometimes of okay. We'll let him be. Don't don't don't get on his ass so much for the same time. Pay attention attention to that. Won't go away. I'm that way with my girls. And i because i i just live in fear of as you said it not being but down as tight as i think it is from the outside and nobody knows what somebody's dealing with internally or what. The thoughts are with that voice in your head. But yeah i did one of those events for your mom and i wanna get goldie hawn talking bring up mind up and and what just just taking basically in this is a bastardisation of what she's doing but it's the best i got is taking a moment Even a period in the normal school day to stop and either meditate do yoga. Whatever it is to bring peace in the hectic school day that we all experienced. It's just a chance to implement these programs into these schools into school systems. That i think really has value because these kids are bombarded with so many outside. Well yeah the other thing is. They don't know why they feel the way they do. Sometimes right and so what. Her program does an educational as well. It's not just about. It is about mindfulness about breathing. You know and taking control of your stress but it's also understanding where it comes from from an from From educational stamp points. You learn about your amiya freak. Parental free front prefrontal cortex. You understand why you're feeling these things and when you do have that that feeling of anxiety or stress or depression you then understand. Oh wait this is where it's coming from an it makes it easier. You know young you know when when you know something you don't it doesn't you. Don't stress about it as much exactly and you can't just medicate or treat the result you have to treat. You really have to go back and unwind it and treat the reasons why you get to the result which is depression. You what what is it. How do you get back to that or understanding like you said the anatomy and and how that works inside a human brain. So there's such value in that and i was. I'm so proud that your mom is that dedicated to that man. If we could just get her contact to get her on this show. Yeah you have. Her people know Tried and tried. And like if you had your mom right now you have to go through an intermediary. Yes i probably call her agent at. I seen him. They would contact her assistant her assistant. Would they get in touch with me right schedule. A time and usually schedules six weeks out. So i- every six weeks. I schedule a meeting with her. Okay good teams formalized. There's paul scheer everybody. Hey if you like conversations with incredibly funny actors go checkout the daddy issues archives and listen to our conversation with comedian and actor adam sandler where we discuss everything from raising daughters to mortality to adams relationship with his dad being kurt russell's neighbor and so much more i remember i was in. I was in the driveway with my dad and nice for no reside. Said you ever with anybody before mom and he looks at me he goes. You know there was for your mother. I it was. It was a time where i was called practice practice with a couple of women before you. I screaming and i can't. I left a car. I ran out and i was talking to my brother. That's man upward is the world's largest talent platform devs designers writers strategists. You name it find hire and pay all in one place. Whatever skills your scope demands up work is how need to find coders outside your area code in. Seo specialist for six weeks or a ui designer through december pros available short or long-term one time or as often as you need them and they're proven rated and reviewed when you need in demand talent on demand upwork. How so often the false information. Maybe from the anti-science for people who are anti vaccine. It really triggers emotions of disgusts or hate or anger and those messages will move analyses on fritters. Well those tweets even have words like disgusted. I am so angry. They're the ones that get shed a lot. That's dr seema. Yasmin an emmy award. Winning journalist poet medical doctor and author dr. Yasmin served as an officer in the epidemic intelligence service at the centers for disease control and prevention doctor. Yasmin is now a trusted voice. During the pandemic helping debunk mess and misinformation about the corona virus. So be mindful of that. When you are not much as good life advice i take a breath and be like why. Why am i feeling this way. And then do your due diligence before you like shaft. Send it to all your. what's up. Family group chats. I'm justin beck. Founder and ceo of contact world listened to contact world the podcast on the iheartradio app. Or wherever you get your podcasts paul. We were just talking about the fact that if oliver needed to get in touch with his mom as we scheduled you and thank god. You're you're willing to come on the podcast. But if oliver if we tried to get goldie hawn as a guest. Couldn't it couldn't happen. Because oliver has to go through so many different intermediaries to get to his mother to actually ask her. Because we've been doing this for you know damn near fifty episodes and and really nobody from his family has come on. I i had a fifty layer buffer between me and my mom would be that bad of a deal as your mom as your mom. Been on your podcast. No no no no i. I keep her at arm's reach in in in the performance and in life. But i i don't want to get on mike disco. Describe we describe your mom. I want to hear this. I want to. I want to see this through to she. She my mom in your business is she would tell. My mom is an incredibly capable smart woman. She's seventy one years old She ran multiple hospitals in new york. City she just came out here to l. a. about two years ago but she just is the way i describe it with her is. She's done her entire life by the book like everything is black and white. There's an answer for that. There's an answer for that. So when she's out here and she's kinda retire. There's a lot of questions a lot of questions. And she also ran her car into a burger king with that that that was a recent That was a recent thing ran her car into a burger king. And when asked why she it was because the The the The people who wash your car they. They washed the gas pedal too much. They yeah so lawsuit so she's she's good. It's sort of like it's a million. It's a million million questions all the time. is very basic. But it's it's lovely. It's lovely well. You know what you know. What's interesting and i've said this before. But you know the the only time that i truly understood the love that my parents had for me is when i had kids right because to me is unconditional love when your children come into your life. Of course you love your wife and you'll have your friends and family and i'm only speaking for myself right sure but there's always conditions right. I mean there's just always is when the kid comes into the world you're vulnerable and i'm not afraid to love them and be vulnerable with them and tell them how much i love them. There's i don't. I don't risk anything you know. And then i think about my mother and the way that she still loves me and all the times jesus mom okay but now i get it you know. Yeah i think you know. I think it's you when you have a kid. It's the only relationship that you have no fear of it ending right like even if they abandoned you you will be there for them or at least the the idea. Yeah you're right. I mean there's something really interesting about that and i get it. Yeah it's very It's interesting how to navigate the evolution of what a parent is as you get older. Which is i think something. That's always a tricky to kind of figure out. Like where do you fall because it a certain age you have to just be the provider and then you become the authority figure and then as you get older. You don't need those things. So what is the relationship become. But they'll always worry about you nonstop. Grace oh yeah. I mean oh totally and it's so true. I think without getting into my entire situation which. I have a thousand times at my dad. Sort of you know. She left when i was younger dude and maybe twelve years old. He was out of my life. I had kurt who raised me. But still you know there was always just a fear of loving and then getting annihilated again. You know unconscious at the time of done plenty of work. But it's like what you said with your kids. You just don't have that in it's the most freeing thing ever you know. What about your relationship with your dad I have a great relationship with my dad. My dad is my parents are divorced Very early on in my life so my parents got divorced. When i was about three years old but the interesting thing about That relationship was they hid it from me until i was five And the way that they did that was. My dad would leave the house when i went to sleep and then get there before. I got up so every day. He was creating this or they were creating this idea. They didn't want me to feel like i was in a divorced household. I guess until about know five. I put this time in and kind of slowly transition me into it And so in that way may my dad who was divorced from my mom was very much a big part of my life and continued to stay that part of my life so i was lucky in the sense that i would see my dad on tuesdays and thursdays and then go over to his house on the weekends and you know my parents had a good relationship with each other so that was really nice And so it's always like it was always a benefit but also kind of tricky because they got along so well that it didn't understand why they weren't necessarily together you know And then my mom had gotten married to another guy actually two different guys and you know that brings a whole nother set of problems in too. Because i think when you have You know like polygamy galina two different guys look where we live in the right state. It all works out. I'm a big fan of sister. Wives i relate to it on many levels because i myself have four sister was But no it's it's tricky because you bring another man in to a situation and it's a goal here is my ex and here's my kid and you know and i think the first person my mom married had definite Insecurity issues like as i grow older now and i'm apparent i look at that and go. That was handled badly. I think it's it's tricky because when you come in as a divorced or when you come in as a parent who is like now subbing in right like you're going to be there like you have to kind of walk that line and interesting way and i feel like both of my step. Father didn't necessarily do that. One was very much distant. Like you come to me and the first one was like no. I m your dad and i didn't need and so that was tricky like you know it's funny. I was thinking about it the other day like mice first. Stepdad made me call him dad and didn't realize up. That was until really. I was telling it to a friend the other day. Oh yeah it was never like a choice. It was just like. I had to call this person dad and that was so interesting because i this it happened with me where you know. There was a situation when my dad came to pick us up at the house. Kurt was in our lives and it didn't go well and he stormed out and did not take us with him and it was a traumatic moment for my sister and i and at the time. I don't even remember what we called curb. But we didn't call him dad and we didn't call him kerr. I don't even know what the hell we call him but he he had a little family meeting with us and he goes okay here. Here's one thing is one thing is certain that whatever happens with your mother and i i will always be in your life and i will make that commitment to you number one number two. We gotta figure out a name because you can't call me curt and you can't call me dad because i'm not sure dad. So let's figure this out and we came up with paw so we still to this day. All how ha- communal decision. I like that. That's really nice. Yeah which is always freaked me out because you guys are like hollywood royalty and you're calling kurt russell snake skin. You're calling him. Hough growing up in the middle of kansas lickin yeah yeah pau kind of feel tumbleweeds going through but off feels like a great name for kurt russell. Like i feel like if. I'm looking at kurt russell. Paw like i wouldn't like there is a he. He has a gravitas. That pa like feels like a special thing. It's very much like was it bonanza. Kind of a name like right field of the earth. The ads i. it's funny. You even saved fucking bonanza because his dad being russell. Okay sheriff on. That's how hollywood these people are basically. It's it's it's less than six degrees of separation from pau. I mean really get there less than six. Degrees of separation from bonanza. I think everybody can get the bonanza and six degrees last thing about pau. What also struck me as that. Your close friends and cates. Kurt close friends call. Kurt pau sort of taken on a life you know everyone's paw paw now. That's my wife who inherited in essence. My teenage girls. When we got together got married was taught by her stepfather. The role of being a great step is knowing when to step in knowing when to step back knowing when to step up for someone knowing when to step out and get out of the way. And and that's what. I thought about that paul. Because if you're coming in you know like the first man that your mom married after your dad demanding that the kid call the kid call you dad. That's that's an aggressive step to take. That's something that should come either naturally or you do. What oliver and kate and audited. Yeah i think it's just. There's no handbook on how to do it. And certainly we are in an age now where we are way more open and have these conversations and there are more resources. You know i'm this is happening probably in the eighties. You know and and in new york not in a place that was like incredibly greg rupp Cultural or anything was like I married your mom your dad you know there was a certain thing so i do think that kids nowadays get such a better or i hope There's more possibilities open to them. Because i think there are people. There's even if there's a book out there. It's better than where i feel like. We were a longtime ago. How did you. How did you go from your early childhood into. Were you always funny real. Always somebody that wanted to get up in front of other people and make them laugh. What we're where do you think. I'm i'm fascinated. Always a talking to people who make others laugh especially on camera how that happened. and what. How were you traced that back to where he said. I'm going to stand on stage and and i'm gonna make people really enjoy their time with me Well i think like people whatever you get interested in his because you find some passion their right like like for me. I remember so clearly. I this may be. This is dating one hundred percent but he got back in the day when you have. You have a cable box right and you would have to turn the dial on the cable box to get to the different channels and that meant that some channels were not clear and But you could still kind of hear them. And when i was a kid. I would sneak downstairs and put on the hbo channel. And if you just kind of maneuvered the knob just a little bit you would get slightly less blurry image kinda like straddle that that knob. And that's when i saw eddie. Murphy's red sued delirious standard. I shall and i remember like all the lights off in my parents house like crying with laughter now probably part of it was like i was doing something that felt like legal and probably. There's other kids at this point. Who that to the playboy channel. I'm literally like your stuff on the scrambled up there. Working that dial like my god. I saw me too and narrowly avoided the porno industry. Because of that. So yeah. I was well. Everyone else is doing that. I was watching. Eddie murphy and a red suit and being this is the funniest thing and and my dad. Even my dad was a really great entry. Point into comedy like he would tape saturday. Night live every saturday night. And then on sunday morning when i would get up we would watch it with breakfast and it was like so fun like so. I just felt like i was a part of this thing. Nick at nite was playing saturday. Night live so in my whole upbringing. It was like i loved that looking. I grew up with like the billy crystal. Christopher guest you know eddie murphy. That version of the cast was like kind of and then as i got older like when i got like you know like adam sandler and farley and all those people so So yeah. I just like that was my absolute passion. I didn't think about doing anything more than that. I would make radio shows in my bedroom. Mike literally you know just host a radio show. You don't cut the clips and music. But again i didn't think there was any outlet for it and then when i was going to College my girlfriend at the time was taking an art class and she was like so fulfilled by her art class. And i was going to. Nyu so is in new york and and And she was like. Oh yeah just love this art class. And i was like you know what i want. I want to do something i want. What can i do. That's creative and i'd done like highschool shows and stuff like that and i found this place called chicago limits in chicago limits. Was this improv place. That i saw when i was back in high school and i was so blown away by that. And i just got involved in this improv scene in new york and then the world started to kind of open up to me but again i was going to school. I had no idea of pursuing it and then the ucb the upright citizens brigade came to town. And i started seeing them. And i was like. Oh my god. This is amazing. I just kept on kind of doing it on the side with no because everybody was around. They weren't doing it professionally. It was like oh. The biggest person that i knew at the time had gotten a commercial so there was no thought like oh. I'm going to then turn into. This and i wasn't doing standup. So i kind of fell into it ass backwards in a way like i kind of fell into it in a way where i just kept on feeling like i want to take a class. I want to meet these people. Want get in. And i just happened to get involved in all these places very young and Early on and then this made all these connections and and got to this place. But it wasn't like i want to be on. Snl and everything. I'm doing is working towards us now. Like i love this. It makes me laugh. I make my friends laugh or make my videos. I do all this sort of stuff. But i had no real idea of how to execute that and i with it a little bit but yeah. That's that's kind of how i mean. It's a compact version of it. But that's basically it just like really you know goes go from doing like shows at thanksgiving in front of like the thanksgiving table where i was literally taking david letterman monologues and jay leno monologues performing that as my own material to then you know then then really graduating. Nyu graduate graduating at carnegie hall and rethink off that stage to run downstairs downtown to seventeenth street to do an improv show. That night i was more excited about my improv show than graduating at nyu and that's kind of so great. It's just yes passion. I mean it's just it's just pure pure pure passion. And i think didn't know that there was any endgame it was almost like it wasn't like it wasn't a. I'm doing this to get to that to do this. It's everything kind of fell in my lap in a nice way. Yeah do you still operate like that. You know i know you're in a play a different place. Now you have. Yeah you have success. You have celebrity. You have some fame. you have some money. Do you still operate at that. Base level of you know just pure passion or do you have to be calculated. Now that we're in this crazy fucking business. I think you have to operate from passion. Because i agree. This businesses bizarre. It's weird but if you spend your whole time like looking at other people's paper and you look at you know what even is going on in our like industry world. Whatever it's like you will drive yourself crazy because you are not that person and i think you can only find the thing that clicks because you can. I found this so many times. Like you can do the thing that you think you should be doing. And that doesn't necessarily bring you any success right. You could also do something joys ing yeah it you could do something amazing that no one sees and that doesn't bring you any success and there's so many factors at work out like for for example like you just saw like at the golden globes like ted ted lasso. Everyone's talking about ted lasso. Now there's a world where no one talks about headlines of but whatever it is that show a kicks in a moment where people all get on it. Shits creek is a perfect example. Ed show on for like seven years and then all of a sudden the pandemic hits and everyone's like oh what shits creek and then it wins everything so you never know so i just think you have to just. It's not enough to like if you equate like success by f- excess success by like how people respond to you. You're gonna drive yourself nuts because it's so hard to judge what is popular what people deem as popular but if you judge success by like you being fulfilled by what you're doing. I think you're gonna live a better healthier life not saying that. It's always easy to do that. But i mean yeah you know. I think that's the goal. And i when i first started my career. It was always kind of doing the things that i wanted to do. but again like stupidly not calculatedly. You know We'll fast forward though till now. Okay because this is a you know. I guess not an issue that i have. Life has been great. My career has been great. Have i done things. That are like really creatively fulfilling. I mean not really not yet. You know. And i'm forty four and i've been i consider myself to be very successful and yeah to tv movie business but now that you have children okay. Yeah yes passion always has to have a play in it but do you have to put food on the table. Because i find myself sometimes thinking okay. I might not necessarily want to do this. But i have to keep going. You know. I have to make some money. I have to maintain my lifestyle. I have to do this. I mean how much sacrifice creatively do you have to make your kids and for your family. That's a good question. I think he's gone to that point. Yeah no i think it's a balance. I'm very lucky to have a wife who is also in this business and also is Successful in this business so there are points in in both of our careers where we may not have. You know a money gig right. We may have some that. Were doing that. May lead to a money gig and but we can balance each other out. i've been lucky that look i've had highs and lows i've i have my oldest kid is six years old and my youngest is force. I've these two boys and they're great and right now. I'm going through something actually really hard with them because my wife got this movie in canada because of covid. I don't have a work permit. So i'm not allowed in canada so i couldn't go to canada and even if i did go to candidate have quarantine for fourteen days so i couldn't do that because i'm shooting black monday right now so right now for the first time ever in our lives. I've been away for my kids for me like fifteen sixteen days at this point. Which is the longest ever been away from my kids and my entire a long time. Yeah and and and there's a world in which i won't see them until april fourteenth. There's also a world where they come back earlier but in that world and my wife is alone in canada with like literally. Nothing there because she can't go out you can't you can't. You're you're stuck in this kind of quarantine hole so we're trying to balance out to our whole lives are always about bouncing out and making sure that we are taking care of each other and whether that's financially whether that is emotionally physically and balancing the kids and and doing all the stuff i it's hard because this is the first time where if it was normal there was no covert i be able to go to canada and come back and see the kids and do everything but right now. We're kind of stuck in this thing. So i think we have to. We have to understand the car. You need to see the kids now. We need to send the kids back But you need them too. So there's always this balance right so it's a sacrifice of maybe. She doesn't take that job the next time. Or maybe you know. Or maybe what i do is i. If i'm not working. I go with her when she was shooting longshot. We were in montreal. And i went with her to montreal with the kids and the nanny and we all went and it was a may. It was a hard time. Actually it wasn't a we were in an apartment and It was small. It was freezing cold out and she was working fourteen hour days five days a week. Fridays that go into saturday mornings. So she's kinda even gone out on saturday because she's still tired from friday so it was really really hard but as a family. We made that kind of sacrifice. 'cause i could be there and i left to go on tour and i left to go do at that point. The disastrous getting like going to their all the rounds on the awards circuits. I was leaving but it was. We have to balance that at all times. And you're right like there's certain times where you are psyched because get a quick money gig in. It's not for up something bad. But i think that both of us protect each other from taking something that we really wouldn't want to take it just to put food on the table and i think it may come to that and that may be a another conversation but i think we really try to protect each other back. Don't worry about it this is the okay you can say no to that or you can say yes to that and if that makes sense very long windy yeah totally and i think the other side of it is. It is a benefit in the same situation with my wife when your wife understands what the business yes requires of you and and so i have that. I'm in sports broadcasting my wife's in sports broadcasting different corner of it. You know when when you have those common experiences and she knows the stresses on you. You know the stresses on her. It takes so much of the angst out of the whole equation that you can kind of really stay focused on each other are you. Are you pretty good at turning all the business off being quiet being locked into her her indie. You while you've got so many people pulling at you to to perform or to you know to to rehearse to do all these other things that require extra time. Are you good at being able to kind of taking time out for each other. My wife is great at it. And i'm so thankful for having an amazing Wife who is like she can shut all that stuff. I actually think. And not to whatever i don't think it's sexist to say but i think women are better at just going like now we're here and now we're doing this and like and she has really instilled in me and again i have. Two young kids This family time like at five o'clock we are are five thirty. We're not working on set family. Time has begun at our house and it will go into put the phone down. I mean you could be on your with your business with her. You could be on the phone all night if they wanted to be. And so we at five five. Thirty phones are down. Were doing dinner. Where playing a game. We're doing a bath time bed story. Whatever we're doing that that run and that's we keep that kind of area sacred. Look we've had a year essentially being in our house to But but we keep that time really sacred for each other and the morning too. I think until nine. Am again when we're not shooting until nine is like i have a running around. We're getting the kids ready. we're doing you know. Get him dressed for getting the food or they're out the door or when they were out the door but yeah but but you know When i should say when hernandez comes at nine but But yeah so. We try to block those times at the weekends we really. It's look we both have a lot of things on our plate but my wife has really instilled in me. That idea and i have to say like now that the kids have been gone in. June has been gone for fifteen days. I gotta say that being alone for the first time in a long time has actually shown me what that does for my mental state. Having that family time it actually makes me a better person. Like i feel like it calms me down. It relaxes me. It is like a moment to to stop. Because i think when i'm not in that zone i don't stop i'll just keep going and then all of a sudden it's eleven o'clock at night i've eaten dinner but you know watching a basketball game but i'm like but i'm not like a not stop. I'm working on like i'm not really enjoying anything. I'm just kind of like continuing to work. Work work work work and just go through and some really appreciative. That kind of just built into me. So yes she. She really is phones down. Let's be together connect in and And then you know and even in our car when we're driving. She will not like she has to drive. Because that's her thing and so i'm often the passenger and when when i am the passenger like i'm not allowed on my phone that's actually a good thing too so it's sort of like we are to get like we are together and those cartridges with my wife for probably the highlight of anytime 'cause we really are completely cut off from everything and it's the best. You do meditate. I know you try try. Try to i try to i. I really a lot of that stuff. I know how to. I like to the idea of taking twenty minutes at the top and the bottom of the day with kids. I'm like oh no yo n work and you. Isn't it weird though how hard it is. Because look i've been. I've been on and off meditating for a long time and when i get consistent i know how amazing it amazing can make me feel and how you know even starting the day with it. I'm like holy shit. I feel good. I'm ready to go. But there's that fucking block and it's not that we can't make ten minutes in our day. Because i'm making ten minutes for a thousand other. Things have vip for ten minutes. Yeah i'm like dude. Just go sit down and do it. But i there's a resistance you know that i don't even know where the hell that comes from. No i think you know. I feel like the thing that i'm always dealing with. His my schedule is not set like today right now. I'm here with you but that's not my ten. Am is different every day. Where ram so. It's sort of like. And i think i really appreciate people who really carve out time. Like i heard david lynch. And obviously he's the guru of meditation. But you know like he does a thing where like on his sets. There are okay. When we're shooting. This is going to be this downtime. We're going to have it is going to happen. I think it's like once after lunch but it's it's blocked out. It's in the schedule. It's like and i think being aware of that time and being respectful of that time. And that's a hard thing that i have to do with my own thing like which i will. I will not make time for me. I will make sure that. I'm here for you at the time. You guys need me to be here. But i won't necessarily show up if i said oh it at ten. Am i'm going to take ten minutes and meditative like well. You know what i'll do. I'll do this first. And they'll go over here. And then i'll do that and then i've lost it in. Its twelve thirty. Because there's something inside you i at least there is in me. I i remember talking to my therapist talking about refilling my prescription having to actually go get another script to get my prescription for this antidepressant that i take. Yeah i said. I know i just keep putting it off putting it off so i went through a stretch. Wasn't really taking it. She's like why. Why do you think you do that. If it was for your kids you'd run through the wall to get that refilled right away. First thing you would do but for yourself. You're willing to just kind of kicked that can down the street and eventually you'll get to it at some point. You have to get over the idea that taking care of yourself. That's not being selfish. That's that's writing yourself up. And and i feel like that. Sometimes i get to that like you know if i do this for me. I'm really cheating other people maybe that's narcissism. Maybe that's because. I think i'm so valuable to everybody else that i'm not gonna take time out. They need me so badly and yet. That's not the case and you should really take care of yourself as much as you're trying to take care of everybody else. It's a lesson that i think i am learning and an constantly to work on. I think you know it's so easy to fall into the trap especially as a dad Or you know where you are concentrating care of somebody else and then you can almost take pride in that care for someone else and there's no there's no shame in also making time for yourself. I think the thing. I've learned about myself and the more messed up thing about the way i think about stuff is like i can only earn relaxation. I can only earn these things so they let you know. So it's like. Oh li yeah right right you know and so i'm always constantly putting myself. Did i did a do it lena. Dunham said this one thing. That really love and i think about it all the time. Where she's in this business in this world in this life and i'm paraphrasing greatly here We have to be comfortable and we have to understand that. We're not gonna get everything that we need to get done done. And you've got to go to bed just knowing that and not feeling bad about it. And i feel like that's like a pressure that they trying to get over to. Yeah i don't like just because it's not done doesn't mean i can't go and do something else you know i can like. Sometimes you gotta let things sit and and make those carve out those moments for breaks for time for mental health. Even if it's like again like watch a movie watch. Tv show that gives yourself these moments. Because you'll come back more refreshing. That's what meditating is to a certain degree it's like check it all out and then come back right well. It's the pyramid schemes. The top of the pyramid right. We're at the top and then everything. Everything's everything trickles down. So if we're at our best of were but are at at at our optimum then our relationship is better with their wife than our than our. The way we parent is better. Everything is better if yeah are better at the top absolutely yeah. That's the age old. That's the age old tired line that there is give you about. It's the same as being on an airline when they say. Put your mask on before you sister because you need to be at your best to be to take care of your kids. It's just hard to do. And i think most people that are successful. That are wound tight. And i'm certainly wound tight. I sense you are paul. I oliver isn't but most people that are wound tight have to get everything done. And i admire oliver's ability to to not be stressed out as i am. I wish i could be less stressed. I can't accomplish it if there's if their emails on my phone. They all have to get after emails. The end of the day or i'm like a lunatic going to sleep that that's how tightly wound. I am i. Where are you on that spectrum. Paul you i think i'm i'm i'm probably edging. I'm probably more on your side. Edging to wear oliver is. That's the that's my goal is to kind of get. Just get myself to not to not be like to not judge myself. Based on what i've accomplished or what i'm doing right because i think i was added. This thought the other day a lot of this has been put in perspective this last week or two weeks. Because i've been alone so i think there's always this idea and again i because i have young kids. I'm still in the fresh part of it. Where i'm like. Oh man you know. If i not that i didn't have kids. I'm not like i don't wish that but i'm like oh i can't get all this stuff done but now i don't have kids right now like i mean i have them but they're not physically obligations and it's still not getting everything done and i'm almost finding that i was more productive in those eight hours a day when i'm at home and not onset where i'm like. This is my time to work. And then that's it. And then i'm putting it on the side and that kind of is really eye opening to me because i'm like well. What if i like. I could work all day and all night. And i'll get everything done and guess what i'll wake up in the morning and they'll be in bunch of new things to do the next day so it's like when they go. It's a race that never ends so like. Why am i all right. Yeah i'll do a little bit and get back and do the things that are important. Coupon leading leading leading with what you know. What's in front of you. That's i try now. I'm trying. I'm trying to get to that point now. I know i look at the be personally. I wish i was the other a little bit more of the other. Because i feel like i'm a well of untapped potential. You know just because. I live a weird deathbed scenario. Where what am i going to remember when mom surrounded by the loved ones in my life and it's my time to go. Megan remember a golden globe or an oscar or a movie or tv show. I did a lot of people will. And that's fine but for me. i just. That's not what's most important to me. You know but at the same time. I stress about you know staying in the mix and you know trying to do the things that i wanna do. Yeah i mean honestly. I don't work hard enough. I feel like. I've got a lot of talent that has yet to even be haven't even scratched the surface of what i feel like. I think i can do. This is what i'll say to you going back to what you brought up originally like the idea of like passion y. I am overwhelmed with the work. That i have to do is because i get involved in too many things. I am too excited to work on too many things. So i look at my wife and my wife will be incredibly focused right now. She is working on a show. She is on a show But she's working on a show and that's chew thinks on so i'm working you know i'm writing and then also on a show me i'm like okay. I got a twitch them on and be doing. I'm writing show. I have an animated thing. I want to be doing. I have this other thing that i'm trying to get done. I think. I want to write these essays on that. I'm making sure that i get like you know. I'm i'm doing all these podcasts. And so everything. I want alternating podcast podcasts to them. Yeah so it's like so. I get so my my issue is i live a buffet a buffet life. You know in the sense of like. Oh i wanna try that and that and that and i don't feel overwhelmed by what i have because i want to do it all but it's still i still have to eat it all or you know. Are you like. I've put all that stuff on my plate. It's all my plate and it's all my fault and my wife is really good at not overwhelming herself with that and i looked to that. But that's the hard thing about following the passion sort of because there could be a world where you know what i'm doing this now and i look at a lot of my peers creek. No that's my job. And now i'm done with that job and now look for my next job and then i'll do that job and and maybe there's an insecurity there where i have to have like twelve different things going on at once to put food on the table to feel like i'm in the mix too feeling productive but it's also all those things as somebody who i creighton and do all this stuff where it actually fuels me. When i'm doing too little of things. I get depressed. I want to be doing more. So it's finding that balance. And and and i know it's like i i. It's also remembering what you wanna do to. If you're enjoying this episode of daddy issues don't keep it to yourself. Tell the friend about daddy issues and go subscribe on the iheartradio app apple podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts state-owned folks. You're not gonna miss the rest of our conversation with paul scheer coming right up after this break. P. com wants to know how frustrated are employees with the tech. They use it work as it turns out very in a new study. Nearly seventy percent said they'd be willing to take a pay cut just to have better software. Yikes but when you think about it. We're all accustomed to the convenience and efficiency offered by the tech. We use outside of work and eighty percent of employees surveyed agree. We can get more work. Done more quickly with up-to-date date tech are you experiencing technical difficulties at work is clunky. 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This is their real life as it unfolds in real time and we're going even further behind the scenes with precedent access to their agents klutch sports group founder and ceo. Rich paul heavy draft. What you hear and their head of basketball omar wilkes this is a draft unlike any before it's all a game of chess drafted premieres march nine. Listen and follow on the iheartradio app apple podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you conscious of how your kids perceive you. I know they're young. Yeah you know what i mean. Are you conscious that or are you or do you do you parent off of off of more of an instinct or you calculated in like okay. I wanna be. I wanna be looked at as this kind of a person you know by my kids or you just like you know what i'm gonna be myself and they're gonna have to sort of grow up with with who i am. My only goal with them is to be a good dad. That is truly there for them. Then i mean that in every single way like etowah emotionally like so. I'm always i'm always trying to engage now not to say that i am nailing that at all times but i wanna like i wanna foster what they're involved in. I want to listen to them. I want to hug them. I was on a movie that heraldry misdirected called year one and harold ramos one of the best. The best you know Yeah just like a comedy. God and one of the things. They looked up to that. I saw when he was onset was his sons on set and they were older. I would say like maybe like there the college age and he had such a physically affectionate relationship with them. Oh wow what. I wouldn't give for that like. I want to be a dad. And this is way before i had kids. But they're so nice tobacco he can still have that. I think i'm always thinking about that as far as my kids to being physically affectionate with them making sure that they you know That i just wanna keep those like As much as i can. I want them to feel safe comfortable and confident in me and keep this love going in a in a good way like you know. I think maybe i'm not physically affectionate with my parents. I love them. And i have great relationships with them but they were to hug or anything like that and it's so odd because my want is t to kind of do the but there. It's just a little bit more awkward. So i i really try to know that's in my head to. I guess you know you have you have you. Have you heard the book. The five love languages. Oh yeah absolutely okay. So we i do another podcast with my sister. Dr gary chapman. He wrote the book we had. Because we just loved that. Jeff books. That i didn't realize that he's written sort of you. Know other than the five language love but same same concept of pertaining to children and i got i got the book and it's so interesting and it's so easy to connect the two but i just never did. I always thought. Oh this is in the romantic version or with your partner. It's the same with children. like kids. have a way that they they they wanna be loved and that they love and they might not be conscious of it yet. But when i read the book like oh my god. It opened up my eyes to my own children. Yeah you know like wild or my oldest is my sensitive boy and You know he's a little squirmy when when when he's physical right he. He likes to cuddle. But it's on almost on his terms when he comes in grabs me but when i grabbed him sometimes like he's she accepts it but he gets a little squirmy you know whereas whereas my my middle kid bodey is just all about love and and rio is kissy in this this and that but they have their love languages as well. You know what i mean. Which is so weird. I didn't yeah blowing my mind. Because i'm seeing it in my own. Two kids make my kids are realizing again. I'm putting a lot through this lens of the fifteen days they've been gone. But it's actually been really helpful to kind of isolate some things. Because when i get facetime my kids i interact with them in very different ways like it's so it's not that far apart in age is oh. I know that this is going to be the way that he might. Youngest will actually be on the phone with me because he will not be on the phone with me. We can't like chat and my oldest We have very distinct ways. It's like and once. I figured that out once. I kind of crack that because when they're at home it's easier you were fooling around where you know you have to carve out this time and i was really kind of amazed at. Wow these are like once. I cracked my youngest like i felt so good. Oh now i know how to do this. I know how to talk to my and it made me feel great. And i feel like he wants to talk on the phone a lot by mike but it it. It was trying to figure out what he needed from that interacts. Yeah yeah i'm impressed. And and i want to show of hands and their three people whose cameras are on right now of anybody. Who's actually read an entire self-help parenting or love book front to back. Every word and highly. Now i mean can can you get through the whole thing. I started pensions. You see i am. This is where. I'm the tightly wound person. I can't not finish a book. I've made this commitment to this book. And then now and only lately. I've i've been able to like give that so i've read like the four agreements i've read Love languages. I read the secret. I've read the gilbert about your soul. I've not read that. Read that one. You'll dig that i've tried. I've actually have been trying to get out of the books in love book. Because i'm like i'm feeling then i'm like oh i gotta think about this. I read that. Gt book getting things done. And sometimes they get me. I started reading all these books that were all about making my life. Better fuck i can't. I'm dawn. I actually like a live my life and read a fiction booker. Give me about a murder. Yup daniel silva great fiction. Yeah great characters go there go there for a little bit. I feel like every time. I get into a self help book and i'm like one chapter in a mike man i am. This is i am going to come out of this a better stronger or wealthy and i get to like chapter three and then i started looking at the person's picture on the back and i'm like is this. This is. I want to have lunch with this guy. He might be fucking insane. And i'm i'm reading every word like it's written in the bible and i don't know if the guy's good i don't know if i'm coming. Thank screen writing classes. All these people here's a. steers tip. Here's the secret to success and it's like well will. Is this class being taught by aaron. Sorkin it's not all in my daughter's junior at usc film school. She's all in on the master class. Top by ernst sorkin. I'm like yes. That's and the and the i think i think there's a part of it which is like these books. Serve to just give you a motivation to start thinking like it. We need like a little bit of a kick. So i feel like yes do i remember. Can i quote to you for grits. No but i remember love languages. Do i remember everything about no. But it's it's like these little chunks that we can use to help like reframe things. But i know that there's a service now a book service which i should get this. It's like five minute versions of all those books. They take all those books and compact cliff notes down to all right. What is the book. here it is. Here's the notes of the cliff notes. Somebody just read it incredibly fast. It's what you get out of it. Yeah and it's and i think what we can spend so much time we spend so much time constantly reframing our own lives and a certain point we have to live our lives and learn from it and and and you know it and we're not. There's no perfect way to live. There's no right way to do it. Like i think we are open to. Which would be open to criticism. We should be open to We should be open to apologize and we should be open to all these things and this live our lives. And sometimes i well. That's for me. I got overwhelmed by. I'm not doing it the right way out. I do it the right way. And it's like well but the way for me. Is that the right way for you. And and i yeah and once i started in this is actually something really important to learned. And i'm getting better at not fully eradicated but i'm stopping. I'm not judging people anymore. By what i would do or how i am like so people are not productive for example. If i'm on a if i'm running show and i'm in the middle of something i have one writer who am i. Wide affected. he stay up until two in the morning. And do that thing. I would be upset with that person. Wouldn't come out because i'm too passive. It wouldn't come out angrily. But i would be like disappointed in that person and instead what kind realized is oh just because i would stay until two in the morning doesn't mean that somebody else should. I have to now understand the when that person will be productive and like feed into that person that have my version of me on that person that makes sense and that's been the biggest thing that oh well well by the way that that relates to parenting right. Who i mean. Everyone does it so differently and you just have to reserve judgment because there is no right way to do it. You know what. I mean you you you constantly worried about like shit. Am i doing this right. Fuck i don't know i mean you concern yourself with that do you wonder if you're being a good parent or the right or doing it correctly or if there isn't even is a way to grow yes so to me. I would say june jinnai if you give us a task like get x. Done we will both get x. Done but the way that we got there is completely different and and we will both look at each other and go you. Did it wrong like you know on some level and so that ali is going back to. What i was saying was a big part of it going. Like you're going to be in charge of this and when you're in charge of that i'm wiping my hands. I'm gonna follow your lead. And then when i'm in charge something you wipe your hands and let me be in the lead and so what we try to do. Is it's co-parenting in the sense of all right you want me. Get him out of the house. I will get them out of the house by twelve o five. Just let me do it. My way and don't coach me and don't look over and wire isn't done. Why y isn't done. I will get it. Just no i will get. I have my own way of doing things. And that's and. I think we both have those alfa tendencies. So you're right. Like i i look to her and i wouldn't do it that way but now shaina mouth and i guess go with. She's charge but what about this. What about consistency. you know. i know when they're young. It doesn't really matter like my wife used to take when we went out with the infants when they were babies sh it took ten hours to get us out of the house diaper bags and this and in case there was a tornado. We had like a portable shelter. I mean it was crazy shit. And when i left the house i had a diaper in my back pocket. Maybe some amd maybe some. And and then i just bail right but when they get older and comes to sort of how you parent and you're getting to that age now where it six and four words you're like okay. Well how are we going to shape these kids. Yeah in a way that what about consistency when your wife has one way of doing it and you do well. I think that. I think that the overall like what we want them to do is the same right. So we're the the. The parenting is like the goal is the same way we get. There is different like she might have a different way to motivate them than i do but we are still like in so. I think that it's not about like it's not like oh on the one. Let's much tv and she's the one who was like you got to read. We both are going to have them read. But the way we're going to get them to read is going to be different so gotta a think like. I hope that that's what we're doing the right way but we are. We are on the same page about what we do and do not want them to do and that to me is the most important thing. 'cause it's sort of like we know we've agreed we're not doing that. We are doing this and there might be times where you know like the way. Can i have this ice cream sandwich. After desert in in jeans. I ask your father back. Yeah sure or in the we'll throw it back and forth but but for the major issues we know where we stand. And i'm sure it's going to get more challenging to But we are different people. Like we're gonna i can't expect you to parent like me. I can't expect her to like get out of the house the way i would. But you know once we're in the car. They got their backpacks. They got their books. They wearing shoes. And we're off. We're off to the races. Your kids know what your what you do. Yes but i don't know exactly how that translates like. I was on yoga. Gabby my youngest was like watching it. And like freak desert. Whoa and then it's sort of like. Oh you know this care like you know them. And i'm gay. I know them. So it's a but i don't know if like i i don't they're on camera all the fucking time now like these kids like with the face and the things that i think like seeing them on the phone or making videos of themselves and then seeing the tv. It's like well. This is the same as opposed to high. As opposed to how i grew up which go back to nineteen seventy one and m two and my dad's doing a sporting event on tv. I thought my dad was stuck inside the. Tv we're were. We're not in that regard and it's like why. Why is my dad stuck in that little window and now you're right. I mean my kids are older kids in now and younger kids. A two and a half year olds they're swiping on phones. I mean they get the whole idea. Oh yeah the whole direction is ten on tinder already. They're intended swipe right. Imagine you're like what are you dealing with on that level. I know you like the idea like people that they're dating how they're bringing the all wait. That might have two older girls. Two little boys and the two older girls are with two of the best human beings. Amazing if i hand picked a person for each one of them this is who would be. Oh that's great and that's it wasn't always that way i mean and that's how was that when it wasn't always that way. Oh my god but you can't get involved i mean. How many times was i would somebody that i wasn't good for me or or didn't bring out the best in me. My my favorite story. That i've ever heard about obama. It's so perfect. So obama is doing some sort of photo op and they bring in family. And it's a mom and dad the daughters and the daughters boyfriends. They all get their the take the picture and then obama says guys get out. The two boyfriends is like take another picture is just in case. And i love and i love that idea like it was great. It was such a great dad moment of knowing. You're gonna want this picture forever and these guys may not be there. So let's give it to give it to ops smart my god well my my youngest date say a kid who plays in the nhl. Who again. I love like a son. Yeah and i have a jersey of his that he sent me like as a thank you for something and like do i the minute i frame this and put this on the wall. It's overcast dot brick. I'm do down their relationship. Yeah if i go to the expense of like boxing this thing and putting it on the wall done so it just sitting there and if if they ever do end up getting i will have that framed if they are together but even then i mean you know it's hard it's hard and then but then the question is why not enjoy it now and that's kind of my issue too. It's like you know like not like this. Is the thing that we wrestle with at all times like. That was a beautiful thing that he did. He sent you that thing. You feel proud of them. You wanna have you wanna put it up. But you're right. But i don't because i don't want to jinx they don't and i believe me i'm in the same boat it's nuts. I can't think that way. I have nothing to do with anything. But it's the same reason. Like i would buy clothes or when i was a kid we would go buy clothes and it was ingrained in me. When we go to macy's we buy whatever sweater or shirt and only get home. My mom day. Now we're going to save this for a good occasion like just put it on. My wife is a person's like walking around the supermarket. And you're like. I want that bar start eating it. She'll pay for the bar. But yeah i bought this. I'm i'm i've tried on a shirt in wherever she's trying on a shirt and she'll walk out with it paid for the and i'm not that person mcnew no it's got to make sure it's the right time and the thing in the bub-bubba and it's like i look at my wife. That's the better way to live. Eat that when you eat the candy bar on it. Yeah shirt when you buy the shirt instead of having a pair of years in a closet quite knickers. I'm like well. I don't know when i can wear them. And anytime anytime and is that your mom influence on you for sure. Yeah i grew up that way whereas like yeah but used that reward for me. That's that reward thing that i'm always dealing with i. It's not it's not ready yet. It's not perfect. It's not the right time. It's not the thing like it's could be simple. I mean this is again going deeper into my like psyche. But it's like. I'll even do that with like a bottle of wine and there's a bottle of wine as i really want like i i. I'm excited to drink this. As my wife doesn't drink red as a guy will figure it out and then like a couple of times came over again. One winning red wine really trying to get rid of this. We get rid of but opening like no no no i was like and it sitting there and i'm like i just wanna i want to try. This thing won't open it for myself. Because i'm just going to have a glass and it's a waste but to what you said i'll like the fucking glass of wine because it might be dead tomorrow and was a great glass of wine enjoyed instead of waiting for this moment. That's never going to appear never win at the right moment. So invite joe and michelle buck over. We will doesn't stand a chance. I'll bring a replacement i ever find. I can never find people who drink red wine. I like everyone. I'm not a why don't like white wine. I'm a red wine that to in my white. Yeah my wife. Literally drinks align called butter. It is called. Butter butter sean. I did i know it are. We are full up on butter and but but no. Yeah but it's like. But i think i'm trying i'm trying to embrace it and i think to bring it all full circle. That's what i do with my kids. I don't hold back on my kids like when we are doing some that we're going to have fun we're gonna go for it and so all those instincts that i have are gone when i'm with my family and when i'm with my wife But really i'm getting better with my wife but with the kids unabashedly it is like now. This is the moment. Let's embrace it. Lets out on. Let's go do you worry though. That like your psycho your neurosis your insanity in the best and worst way is sort of you know seeping into your children. You know do you. Do you think about that at all. You know i. I guess i have made peace with the fact that i'm going to mess them up. I feel like that's more. Yeah dude. I say that all the time i say it all the time. I say it's not about if you fuck up your kids. It's just about to what degree i mean you are. The they're gonna rebel against you. You have i. I love my parents. But there's going to be issued i got. My mom always did. This wasn't a make or break thing. But it's like but you know but it's like there are going to be those things that you're just going to reject about the more they. Nick kroll has this joke where do in his last stand of special and rare made me laugh. He's like you know you could be in a moment where you know you you get a haircut and your mom's like oh nice haircut. What's he didn't like my hair before. Hand with your mom and is but you're only at your mom because the this other thing like i get ear to my mom and and everybody watching around. Why are we accused you like your haircut. No but she's always saying like your haircut like because they don't cut it enough. I don't whatever it is. I think it has anything to do with anything. But it's like you will always advocate that issue on some small and it could be. Obviously other people could very big but i. I'm just like i'm trying to give them. I'm just trying to be like i love you. I'm taking care of us. I'm not trying to shit but by the way you're gonna you're gonna get my shit. I love you and as long as you feel my love and you know that. I love you unconditionally. And that's it. You're gonna get my shit. I'm sorry i'm working on it. I will say that. I don't know about both of you but like i don't. My parents were not working on it right. Like i am working on and it's like so at least i've been at therapy for twenty years. I went to this place. Called the hoffman institute which was incredible by the way changed my life and i'm always working on it but i'm fascinated with it. I'm fascinated with the human condition. I i love that. We're all made up of the same shit but we're all so incredibly authentic and that we have the capacity to fix ourselves emotionally. And that's so interesting to me so i like it i dig it. You know absolutely all right. Are we ready to start here. We go yeah. You're to go here. We go yeah. We're going to start well before before before we go dude i just gotta say You are you are so fucking funny and you're one of my favorites and you're so nice and the league is just such an amazing lee. Funny sean i'm a fantasy football player but it is just on another level funny. It was a really really lucky to kinda hit that show in a moment where i mean you know where i feel like the. Nfl was in a weird spot. But now it'd be a little bit harder because they feel like there are some more things that are like ooh. How do we touch that arguably do that. You know and Yeah but the show was so great and to be kind of created by one of the guys who created curb and had that style of improv and really great and getting work with those people always so much fun. Incredible man incredible thanks. So here's the here's the takeaway. Yeah take the plastic off the couch. Exact couch where you're damned tennis shoes. Drink your damn red wine. I threw two dino bath bombs. I was only going to do one last night. It bad time blake was going batch crazy so it through another one in there. Now we're out of dino bath bombs but last night we had a night like no other and then we watch oliver stand in the background of the golden globes. That's right that's my big beautiful. It is. I think he just got to embrace your embrace these things and i think when you're around people who also have done it like i feel like that's the other thing too good to like look at like people who've done it that are not you that are older. And you look in your. Oh wow okay. They did a good. They pulled it off. Crib trip from the some people yes My final question. Joe wanna ask we ask everyone this all the if there's anything that you've taken From your dad you now have in your own dad. Dna good or bad that you find yourself doing that. You didn't think when you were younger guy you would carry forward and then and then but there's a flip side to that so it's like the good. What's that good thing that you've taken from your dad. That you rebelled. I said good or bat now. Don't needs to be both joe bad now. You said good or bad not bad you know say e need preposition of not or is it. Good or the good and bad or good and bad. So it's it's that one is that jeff look out stick to stick to football. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say this The the good thing that i've taken from my dad definitely is doing the trips and having the adventures and like i definitely when my dad was the person who we would like. We had some of the best experiences whether it's camping or going to walt disney world. All this stuff. So i really am aware of creating like fun family moments. I'm very like passionate about like those memories and sometimes shocked when they don't even remember the things that we've done and will get better But i but like we go back in the. I don't remember ever going there like last year. Like i brought by sons. Probably do like a clippers game. And he got to meet a couple of players Like an autograph alley. And i know he doesn't remember it but like we show them pictures of. Yeah yeah all right. So but i'm trying to create those those memories. And then i think i didn't even bring up the lakers clippers thing because i've been a laker all my gosh. Well you're la read on your that. You're a clippers fan. And my and kate and ryder and i'm like what the fuck man. Jesus klima i'm a new yorker. Who was a knicks fan. I moved out here to la and And the knicks have just besides the season have been Really just a disappointing team for so many years. You know what. I'm in la. Now i'm going to have kids eventually. And i want them to have a team that we can go to. And at that point i was very poor and the clippers are very cheap seats and blake griffin was playing and was fun shit and i was like. I am a clippers fan. I felt like i wasn't on the bandwagon. I know all my friends who are people are not as bandwagon fans like that's l. a. And that's on there. I just i got in. I like this underdog aspect of it. And now i'm in now mike Aggressively but the bad fine fine but yes i look and i have. No no disrespect for the lakers. I only don't like the lakers. When they play the clippers. That's about really the only time i get upset about but you can't disrespect their dynasty royalty. I just read Kobe's book and i just read three ring circus. Which is a great book. I had the craziest remind craziest dream. Kobe bryant last night. It was fucking weird. I visited me as of visitation dream by kobe. Bryant it was insane detailed hanging out and puerto wisdom on me dream. It was very. i'm reading mob mentality. i should be having those dreams. I should be going to bed with that. The bad thing that my dad has done. And this is something that i've really. I made fun of him for doing it. My whole life and now i have done it is become part of me which is miss remembering and mispronouncing names i m. I don't know what has become like it was some of the dead. It's not that person this person. And now i am that person where i will just able names and you know harvey danger. Whatever that show. I am that dead is that it's not bad. And so yes. So that is something. The the the primary the mania tation of my dad was never remembering of quite getting the names and now i do to make all amazing. That's great paul. Thank you for for coming on. Thank you for in and thank you for being so open about. Yeah it's helpful to all dads and i agree with you. You're working on it. I feel like the world or the countries turning out better dads now because at least we're aware of kind of as opposed to what came before not everyone but try. Yeah try then. If this is somebody's agreements it's good. I mean this is what i think is so great about your podcast. You can listen to get your four agreements. You get your love. Language is right here. You got you got you got. It's easier to is only an hour and you have to open a book and you don't have to spend all that money right but then look at the cover art of our podcast faces. I help from these three. Eighty the pleasure. Thanks paul listen to daddy issues on the iheartradio app on apple podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcast daddy. Issues is a production of cavalry audio and iheart media produced by margaret carmichael executive produced by joe bach. Oliver hudson dana brunetti and keegan rosenberger with metro by t mobile. Your hard earned. Money goes further this tax season. They're zero teased. the switch. Enjoy metros lowest price just twenty five bucks a line for four lines plus get four free samsung galaxy phones when you switch. Now that's the best feeling wireless metro by t mobile empowering you to rule your day all lines promo rate if any deactivates no fees on select phones limit one per line with eligible port excludes sales tax limited time offer additional terms apply see metro by t mobile dot com. Hey there it's mango host a part time genius co founder of mental floss and now hosted the award winning podcast. Humans growing stuff collaboration with iheartradio. And your friends at miracle. Gro i am so excited to tell you that our little show about plants and people is back. We'll have brand. New episodes featuring plant experts master gardeners community gardeners new gardeners and plenty of new ideas. Be sure to listen to humans growing stuff on the heart. Radio app apple podcasts. 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