EP90: The 43% of Women with Claudia Reuter

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I am a full time working mom of girl after battling endometriosis for many years I wasn't even sure if I could have children my name is Theresa Theresa and I know hey everyone welcome back to the miraculous Mama's podcast podcast I'm your host Elizabeth Joy and if you're joining us for the first time welcome we are a podcast that believes in empowering women through storytelling an education in we're so glad that you are here we have an awesome episode for you guys today but before we hop into that I have a couple of snippets to share with you I know a lot of people are doing or looking to go that route in some people's insurance covers it a lot a lot of people don't and it can be a super expensive thing to invest in but I've heard from a few of our listeners that if you you order the drugs from Europe it's actually fifty percent cheaper I thought that was very interesting and kind of cool because the pharmaceuticals in the United States states are just highly outrageously priced. I know you can get diabetic medication from Canada for like ninety percent cheaper than here but yeah yeah you can order. IVF drugs from Europe I know somebody who actually flew there for the treatments and then somebody who ordered their medications from there and I thought that was super interesting so if that's a route that union spouse really want to go but you haven't been able to afford it or didn't think that it was an option because your insurance doesn't cover it and it's super expensive expensive maybe do some research and look into that because there might be an option therefore you also I am going to to be finally starting video series on trying to conceive an preparing your body for pregnancy it's been man I feel like it's been and five months for me so far of getting in a healthy head space but also preparing physically I did the hormone testing with Dr Patrick Flynn and I found out that I'm at risk for breast cancer my hormones are off found out that I had a parasite in my guts and that I had these food allergies I wasn't aware of that were kind of making everything harder it was making my hormones like it was making it harder for them to balance out because the strain and inflammation in my gut in the same with the parasite so it's kind of all interconnected and so many people I think it's hey like I'm ready to get pregnant now and we're just going to start trying but I would encourage you to look into the things that affect your hormones look into you preparing your body and starting to take a good prenatal and supplements and eating the right foods beforehand because there is just so much that goes into that but not only for you but for your spouse is well there's tons of research out there now that shows when men drink when men drink a lot while they're trying trying to conceive your baby has a forty four percent chance increase of being born with a congenital heart defect and if they're smoking and increases your chances of miscarriage miscarriage and even heart disease and stuff like that leader on in life so there's tons of research out there and I feel I feel like we've been misled we've been told like Oh when you're ready to get pregnant just start having unprotected sex and that's just really not the case even even when it comes to birth control like you think you can just get off birth control get pregnant but it takes the average woman who has been on birth control eight to eighteen months to get pregnant depending on why she got on birth control if she got on just to practice safe sex or just practice pregnancy prevention Incheon that's one thing but if you got on birth control because you were having heavy periods or they were irregular or anything like that that's covering a symptom up that your body's trying trying to tell you so getting off the pill that's going to come back and sometimes it takes your body a while to start to oscillate again so it's not even necessarily eighteen months it's eight cycles of actually ovulating in having a normal cycle after birth control I'm so excited 'cause we're going to be having a couple of episodes in the next month month addressing these issues which I'm super passionate about and I'm really getting into because I just feel like why why are we being told oldest information like widened somebody teach us that when you go on and get pregnant there's steps to take toward it at one of my favorite comparisons is like you wouldn't go route and run a marathon without training in the same is true for pregnancy you'd need to train beforehand you need to set certain habits in you need to get your body prepared to provide vital nutrients there's actually a seventy year long study happening I believe it's in Ghana about this community where babies born in certain seasons are much healthier than babies born and others and the reason is if they conceive in the rainy any season the mothers are eating a diet of rich leafy green vegetables and getting tons of vital nutrients and that affects the development of your baby in the first week after conception it's so crazy I encourage you to check out the documentary the nine months that made you it's so fascinating that tells you step by stop what's happening and what's affecting that but the babies that were conceived in the dry season those foods weren't around and they're born with out the ability to fight infections as well as the babies who were their mothers were eating dark leafy Greens in getting those really good supplements and nutrition so it's it's so crazy because it's things that you don't think about and of course there's Times where you were on birth control forever and you've got off and got pregnant the first month or you weren't necessarily trying and you got pregnant pregnant nearly Oh crap I was on vacation drinking eating whatever I want and it's like but our bodies are also in place to protect that baby and to nourish rush them our bodies when you conceive put your baby I so that's also true of so many people I know and and that's also what this information is for or it's never to look back and feel guilty or ashamed of anything it's only to take that information and to look forward and to say okay are we having having another baby how can I prepare my body how can I provide the best vessel for my child what is my partner's role in that how can he help because you think about it the woman you give up drinking and hopefully smoking and other habits for nine months while you're creating this life in your breastfeeding and men don't have to do any of that but studies are showing now they do so it's not that much of a sacrifice to ask your partner are to stop drinking and smoking six months before you start trying to conceive because sperm cycle is ninety days so and that even if they do you sperm analysis or get checked in it says oh they have enough sperm or whatever it's not telling you the health of the sperm it's not telling you the quality of that which our bodies are super super smart and don't want to accept the sperm that isn't as healthy and wing our bodies reject the ones that are miss shape door have a bad morphology sell our bodies are here to protect us and so there's so many different things go into that but I'm going to be making some videos and sharing with you guys have been preparing I'm going to share with you the tests that I've done the research that I've learn how I'm praying preparing my body for trying to conceive whether it's doing my hormone us or getting rid of the chemicals in my house because so many different chemical oh cool things are endocrine blockers and they affect your hormones they can affect your fertility there's glysophate in certain products which is a horrible pesticide ride that is found all of our homes in different ingredients that has an effect on fertility so I'm going to share some of the information and some steps the I've been taking to try to create a good vessel in a good home to try to conceive and I'll be sharing some of that journey journey through a video series with you guys and I'm super excited about it because I don't share too much on here I've just really tried to focus on getting on great guests is for you guys bringing on experts and bringing on people to share their stories and their journeys so I haven't been able to share too much of my story and what's been going on with me and my body in the healing process for my hormones and things like that so I'll be doing that in a video series that I will be starting starting this week and I'm telling you to hold myself accountable because I've been saying I'm GonNa do this for weeks now I haven't so but I'm super excited to be sharing that with you guys all right Mama is if you are a mama it means that you are basically always busy always on the go it even feels like you're on the go if you're at home because there's always a mess to clean up dinner to cook a diaper to change your kid to play with or read a book with and not to mention the things you have to get done for yourself maybe take a shower and brush your teeth put a bra on or take it off you know you're always always on the go but you don't have to sacrifice amazing being snacks for you or your kids because you're super busy which is why I love perfect bar and perfect kids they are an amazing snack line of fresh from the fridge protein bars that are made with freshly ground up butter up to seventeen grams of whole food protein and twenty superfoods all combined to create a cookie dough like texture that is is amazing and for the perfect kids their snack bars crafted especially for your kiddos kid-friendly superfoods a bar size just for them and that same amazing cookie dough like texture when your kids are going to love it all of the snacks are kept in the refrigerator for optimal texture texture and taste but they stay fresh to one week outside of the fridge and they're perfect for on the go whenever you need a snack and to help avoid any meltdowns and they they taste amazing they're non GMO project verified gluten free soy free kosher low in made in the USA plus they have amazing amazing flavors and I have to tell you our fridge with stocked with the perfect bars perfect kids and I noticed that a lot of our perfect kids snacks wchs were missing and that's because veto was eating them so I mean there for kids and adults but the perfect ones are supposed to be for adults the per- The perfect kids or for kids but I got the kids one's furnaces and nephews but vetos bins munching on them so they are delicious and they are healthy for you which is such an added bonus and right now perfect bar's offering you fifteen percent off your online order so just go to Perth dot at Bar Slash Mamas and shop the refrigerated snacks at perf dot bar slash Mama today to get fifteen percent off your order make your day a little more perfect at perf dot bar slash Mama's also today I have an awesome good for you I have Claudia Ruder on and she is the host of a podcast called the forty two percent sent and she talks about taking time off to raise your kids and returning to work but in that that there is no judgment whether you're working through at all or whether you take time off or whether you choose to stay home and there's such a mental battle no matter your choice whether you're choosing to stay at home mom there's a mental battle if you're choosing to go back to work if you love working you miss it or you hate work but you have to financially need it there's such a struggle all for every mom these days in those situations but there shouldn't be like we are all doing the best that we can and doing what we have to for our families even doing what we want to because sometimes you love work in that makes you healthier mentally to be a better mom and that's okay too so Claudia's so much information Asian for us she's such an amazing woman she is a powerhouse and I cannot wait for her to talk with you so I'm going to grab her all right everyone I have Claudia writer here and and she is an amazing woman she currently works as the managing director for techstars but she also has a podcast helping working moms kind of just giving them them a place to feel heard and grow that community and she has a lot of other things going on she's done a lot of different and things she's an awesome businesswoman and a mom says she's here to kind of talk to us about how her worlds collide so thank you so much cloudy for coming on thank you so much for having me I'm so excited to be here yeah I would love for you just to kind of tell us I guess where you got to where you are today sure so quick background where I am today I currently professionally I work at techstars as a managing director and what that means is I I get to invest in ten companies a year and help them make their businesses better and help them move along in my private life I am really committed to helping basically people hear more stories of what's possible for women whether you choose to stay home or whether whether you're choosing to remain in the traditional workforce whatever your path I feel like there aren't a lot of stories out there of the different waiting career paths that happen happen and so my podcast forty three percent is meant to highlight different stories that people may be aren't hearing about what success can look like and obviously it means different things to different people so I've been interviewing people ranging from women who are CEO's and lawyers to doctors offers people who are actually staying at home people who are teachers so really just a really wide view ominous spent an awesome awesome experience so far a million enjoying them and I'm also working on a book that's due out and just a few months that's can be published a widely and we'll be part of the third series in it's called yes you can do this how women startups gala and billy they want and it's really part manifesto encourage women to start their own businesses and parts because I feel like when talk a lot about had we get more women in positions of leadership and I think one path to get their starting your own company you're automatically in a leadership ship position and it's it's a way to think about different ways to structure things differently and change the rules and and the book also contains a how to guide for if if that's the path you go on how do you do it I'm also married I have two teenage boys who are sixteen fourteen and I love them to death and I never really cool rescue dog named Nora awesome that's so cool yeah you're doing so much so I would love for you to kind of share your story eh because you took a break from the work fields the workforce and it kind of gave you a different perspective on it entering back in yeah yeah so I am forty actually I just turned forty four I had my first child who's now sixteen when I was twenty seven and I it was the first one in my friends to have a kid and I remember or one of the first and I didn't really have a lot of ideas on what I should or shouldn't be doing working for an investment being in the technology division at that point I'm doing things like Admin work you know just it was truly a technical job and I kind of had in my head like Oh this'll be pretty easy I'll have the woman I'll take maternity leave which which I knew I was lucky to have and I'll go back to work and I'll figure it out and asthma Pregnancy progressed I was getting I have one of those people are Arapoff the time I you know like a lot of people do and you know there was nothing that was particularly easy about the whole experience and when I went on maternity leave reality start a son Gannon I realized that any daycare or childcare situation that I was going to be able to find was gonna either add add an hour for my commute on either direction at that point in my life and career it was going to eat up a pretty big percentage of my take home pay and frankly emotionally I just didn't feel ready to go back like I buy three months in I was just starting to feel normal again I'd had like a mass of appease the automated itemise down for a while which is weird and yeah so and I just wanted to I wanted to have that time with my kids and so I'm just kind of left out of the workforce and figured I would figure out later but not right then on and I I should say like it wasn't as Jeff I was in the luxurious position of living in my husband I run a fourth floor walk up in New York at this point and we were we were okay with just trying to make it at work because it was something that we just wanted to do on our family and so I stayed out for while I had my next son at twenty three months later and did all sorts of things in the community like worked on volunteered for aboard at a library you know we renovated a house did all sorts of stuff but was a few years then I started to feel like maybe I knew at some point I needed go back to work to make money I wanted to do something beyond just the family even though that was really critical to me at in it's still is at that point so long story short I was looking at a whole bunch of different things and realize that I thought I had a good path to actually start my own company so I started a company on nine and two lots and lots of iterations and work on it was fortunate enough to raise capital and grow the best nece and then we were acquired in two thousand fourteen by another company and then I went onto lead there like digital services upper up innovation and team for a few years and then I joined starts wow that's so crazy grades no that I took a hormone Montas and a food allergy test in since I took the food allergy tests I have been feeling so much better and even I was breaking out on my cheeks for years I that started to go away and started to notice just the difference that Iowa's filling in cutting out these foods that were affecting me so he decided the he wanted to take a food allergy test and so we ordered one from Everley well and really well offers more than thirty at home lab tests from food sensitivity to thyroid Arroyo to s td and heart health tests each Everley well collection kit comes with super easy to follow instructions and you collect your sample from home on your own on time we actually did it while we were watching a movie the other night beato practice finger and it wasn't painful it's only a little prick and you put a couple of drops of blood on a sample and send it into them and once you send your sample pack in its processed in a certified lab and your results are reviewed by a board certified physician Russian and then they're sent directly to digitally within just days and you can even share them with your healthcare provider to get more details on how that information can help you the elderly well digital platform helps break down exactly what the results mean for you plus you can also set up a free discussion with a healthcare professional directly for through the Everley early well platform so to start learning more about your health like we did check out Everley well at home lab tests today for fifteen percent off in Everley well at home lab test visit Everley well dot com slash miraculous and enter code miraculous that's Everley well dot com slash miraculous this code miraculous for fifteen percent off your test Everley well at home lab test your answers your way so how did you feel I guess like when you did take that break how did you know when you're ready to go back in I don't think there was a real moment that I thought okay today I'm putting on my suit and putting my resume together as much as there was sort of a slow burn on it you know as the kids were we're just getting a little bit more and more Independent on an ice started to feel like I knew there were other things I wanted to do I just started to explore different things and frankly I remember looking at different I would look kind of obsessively what our jobs out there what am I am I actually qualified for anything anymore I do think when you step away I'm elise I did I know a lot of other women who feel the same way there's sometimes a confidence gap that happens for you it's like there's this weird thing thing where you're you're stepping away because you're taking care of little kids which is so I think is so important and so difficult and requires you to have a lot of you know your wits about you and yet it's not something that we kind of advertise as a skill set going back into the workforce instead we're all kind of forced to talk talk about our gap years and as if we were like as if you're in a on a vacation or month and so yeah I didn't feel Oh really confident about what I what was out there a lot of what was out there wasn't going to necessarily work with my life at that point anyway and so I started realizing is in like if I could start my own company could still control my day at least for a while and so worked on a business plan on my it has been is also in software development so he jumped in to help me in his part time and just started taking baby steps along the way in getting in getting a site up they're going to conferences trying to figure out where the market opportunity wise until eventually just kind of felt like a third child that it just kind of took on a life of its own at some point yes so now with you know you kind of started the podcast a forty three percent as a passion project because of your experience in talking with other mothers so I'd love for you to tell us kind of what let forty-three percent even means what it is and what you're doing with your podcast shore so there's stat out there that approximately forty three percent women do step away from the workforce at some point to care for kits and I think that number is going to change over time obviously men are taking on that role is this while in ways that maybe they didn't use to but at the but predominantly it's women style and so forty three percent step out I had been into a number of industry events over the years where you get to hear fireside chats where someone will interview someone who's been super successful they'll talk about their path and I remember being at one of these events last year and thanking you really can't hear these unless you're in a big city or in a community where these events are happening and and so often I feel like women who have either whether you've stepped away or not stepped away there's sort of a stigma around talking about your our family at work at it's sort of like people feel like they need to compartmentalize that people often don't want to talk about how challenging logistics can be for pick up and draw all just things that are little but they're they actually make the day pretty challenging so I thought if I could just I know so many amazing women and I felt like if I could just do fireside chats with them people would hear that it's not just women intact or it's not just women in a particular industry that we all I'll have the same challenges whether you're working or staying at home to work right and you know just start to hear different experiences that are out there so I started just doing some recordings ratings of people last November I want to say about it just a little under a year ago almond was really fortunate to connect where the producer any Westervelt who understood understood what I was trying to get at and took it on to produce it and now she's had an amazing journey of her own now I'm working with breath wonder media is producing our second season right now yeah so how I found out about Claudia was I was a podcast convention and I met a couple of the women women who worked for wonder media and they were talking about the company and then they started talking about the forty three percent podcast and I'm like oh my gosh I got a I got to figure out how to get it does lady on so I ended up getting one of their cards and reached out because I just think that's that's so cool because like you said I mean you go to these conferences Francis or you go to a place where you can have these fireside chats and that's where you fill that's where you get inspiration that's where you're like oh my gosh these other people are doing or oh my gosh first this woman so inspiring she did this this and this and she had kids and she did this and I'm feeling like I have to make a choice like you said after can I say the word right now Carl Hart Man Alive the word does I lost it like my life you know so oh it's when you get into those settings that you get that inspiration and you have like more like you can develop it's more more in an intimate setting and you can develop deeper connections with these people and leave feeling empowered so to turn that into what you're doing is so cool yeah thank you yeah I've been I've been so blown away to buy people's willingness to have on Intel story because so often and people you uh-huh people share what's what's great what's not what's been hard what what's working what's not and it's been really interesting to hear that the challenges are the same whether a you're at the cease we'd or whether you're you know early in earlier in your career at a totally different place people are challenged around and you know what to do when worlds collide and you you're in a meeting you know you get an emergency call or on and and the emotional emotional journey that happens you know I think it's easy to be like we kind of have think of ourselves so much like these cereal beings than you know just mechanical panicle like okay we had the baby now you put the baby here now you go back to your job and like you know there's so much more like emotion involved and And then I think we acknowledge yeah I don't know why this time of year I seem to get senior itis it's like the year's almost over you've done so much much already I don't WanNa get things done as much it's cold outside you wanted to be cozy I literally haven't grocery shopped in over a week which isn't didn't like me but I have senior itis but that's where hellofresh comes into handy and I love them because they are America's number one mill kit and they are easy they have amazing seasonal recipes in pre measured ingredients that are delivered right to your door they make cooking delicious meals at home a reality lady regardless of your comfort in the kitchen they have step by step recipes and all the pre measured ingredients and you'll have everything you need to get a wow worthy dinner veto veto always knows when I make a hellofresh meal because it's something I haven't made before I tend to repeat a lot of the same things he'll be all Gosh Bay this is really good what a great recipe and I'm like thanks but you get a break out of your dinner Rut because they have twenty plus seasonal newly curated recipes appease each week and there's something for everyone from family recipes to calorie smart and vegetarian in a fun menu series like the Hall of fame and Craft Burgers they have more five star recipes than any other meal kit. You know that you're going to get something delicious in their flexible you can add extra meals here weekly order and add add on's like garlic bread and cookie dough and it's easy to change your delivery days food preferences and skip a week whenever you need it it's it's the perfect thing that helps me cook at home when I don't WanNa go outside and I have my senior IDA's and I wanna try something new they are to my rescue and right now we have an amazing offer for you guys for a limited time only you get nine free meals whip hellofresh so go to hellofresh dot com slash miraculous Mama's nine and enter Miraculous Mama's nine that's the number nine so go to hellofresh dot dot com slash miraculous Mama's nine enter Miraculous Mama's nine for nine free meals with hellofresh you know you were saying day a lot of the people that come on even though they have completely different stories there's still so many of the same struggles so I would love to kind of talk about those like water for the MOMS who are listening that are working moms and they're like yes like we're listening to this woman or somebody who is at home I want to join the workforce again I know we had talked before like Gil kind of huge in kind of all arenas of wanting to go back to work feeling guilty about that or wanting to stay home or the need to go back to work and like there's so many similar struggles and for the women listening I would love to just dive into a few of those yeah short I mean I've heard so many different kinds of things that people touch on you know I think it's easy sometimes people think oh if someone decided to be a stay at home mom it must mean that they're incredibly priviledged hand that they're just you know they have so much disposable income they don't know what to do that sort of a stereotype about their and in many cases that's not true in many cases people are stepping away because childcare simply isn't affordable for them and yet somehow they're they're like it's better to cobble things together from what they have to try to make it work on a lot of only seventeen percent of companies actually offer the attorney leave so tons of people even working at good companies are cobbling together a way to just heal from a pretty major physical van Dan on through sick days vacation days you know it's it's not a it's not a glamorous occasion right so people are there's some real just financial challenges that people have to try to figure out of make it work even for people who are more were you know who are further along in their career maybe the financial partisan the biggest piece of it there's the emotional piece of guilt on comes by that we interviewed one woman and who was kind enough to share her her experiences and issues very successful an ivy league educated businesswoman and she talked about about how she she and her husband neither one felt that they were going to become stay at home parents but then her husband lost his job on and on so then she had to be the one regardless and you know she talked about how she would she was fine with doing that and yet at the same time cried every daily in daycare and and it's just you know or are tack to another woman who she had been a partner at a law firm and just from a scheduling perspective couldn't make at work because at a certain point shift three kids but her youngest has autism and the special means and and care that he required not something that's readily available through traditional system so she ended up starting her own practice on that gave for more flexibility to be able to carve out the schedules she wanted to and and still provide the care that she wanted to be able to provide to her son on a theme I'm hearing over and over is that women are are dealing with structures in my mind that were not designed with any of this in mind now like the traditional corporate structure that's air was really designed with a you know if it was designed with families at all it's designed with the idea that there's one person who's the primary breadwinner and there's supplemental earner or a stay at home mom earner are you know who's at home with family and so that's why the school school day doesn't match the work day summer vacation doesn't match the Business Day and so I feel like everyone that I talked to is trying to do things that are meaningful for them and their professional experience and the education that they've had and yet at the same time we're struggling with these structures here's or just being creative to find ways to work around the structures that weren't really designed but any of this in mind yeah wow I mean that totally makes sense in I've heard some similar stories of women just like trying to find that balance and I guess that's another another word that you hear a lot right when you're talking to working moms it's balance like how do you balance it all and and I find that that's a question that does come up a lot and and it's weird though because it you wouldn't ask that to a working dad yeah totally totally you know that's one of in one of the things that comes up a lot for some reason the trend or the pattern is that if a guy is has has a family and is working he's perceived as more responsible and if a woman is working with kids they're still side this motherhood penalty where she's perceived as is less reliable on and will often be asked Oh is this okay will you be able to handle this while you're able to manage this and does is it sets us up for this like lean and lay now debate versus getting to the root of what we're trying to jail that's one of the things the the book I've been working on that's the topic I'm trying to dig a little deeper into that I feel like there's a bit of a false dichotomy out there this idea that you you know we can lean into the structures that exist today and try to make them better or we can lean out and stay home with our kids and we kind of sat people up for this debate and I'm like we're debating based on by a whole system that was not designed for us so what if what if we did get more women into into entrepreneurship and redefine what the workday looks like we have all these startups at have dogs in the office have worked at home policies like there's but no better time to have to rethink a lot of things as you thinking of new business idea in my mind yeah well you hear that a lot though that there is kind of this rise up of women entrepreneurs and mothers who are wanting to create something for themselves and for future people and starting those companies of supporting being supportive because you understand the lifestyle you understand that somebody's kid hid might get sick you understand you know that somebody might be breastfeeding or whatever it is or what maternity leave is like or what you hoped hoped it could have been like for you so you have the chance to actually make that difference in your company and be creative to find ways that you know if that person's sins on maternity leave that there's not a gap in your company but you can still bring them back in seamlessly completely like I was interviewing one woman Erica Hogan a few months ago who started a consulting company now focused on helping companies think about how to have companies that already exists how did they have better policies Zaid's for working parents and one of the things she mentioned she was an early employees at twitter and she and some of the other folks started a a resource group to help new parents one of the things they identified as this need you know if you were breastfeeding in sales were traveling in in your baby might be back at home so they were working on things like how do you freeze to ship it like just logistical stuff that nobody's talking about or thinking about how so it's really interesting to hear people trying to solve those problems and you know just a and there's a comedy and all of this too right like I was talking to I'm leslie forward his she's executive focused on product management and she talked about traveling to China for work and thinking she had everything together and and then she had the wrong adapter China to Hong in and she like a whole thing exploded so it's like these crazy things that just happen it's part of being a parent but but having corporations I think recognized that if we WANNA keep women engaged engaged and we don't want to have a high attrition rate we have to think about ways to look at everyone as a whole person and there's been a lot of progress made I think in terms terms of you know there's more opportunities at a lot of companies to work remote but also getting people out of the mindset that working remote means you're working part time or that you're somehow not contributing much I think we have the right technology now where it's more helping people realized that maybe you can't do a meeting at at three o'clock because that's when the bus comes and the babysitter arrives or whatever the craziness that's happening is maybe you can do plenty of work at eleven o'clock at night you know that idea of having real flexibility and more autonomy in your day versus that factory mindset of what we all must sit at our desks from nine to five I really hope that we moved jumper outcomes based world people are focused more on what did you produce when he making you know how valuable that are says how much time did you have today yes that's something I've never really understood with some job south it's like okay did you get your work done for the day then why are you here for an extra five hours the like you know what I mean like I don't know I've never understood like okay here's the goal here's what we need to get done and if you can get that done by this time awesome right right that's always worked I was talking about this the other day with someone and he was like to your point he's like why are we being punished honors for doing a good job right right we you know I think of course there are some jobs where the time matters right like a few you're going to be working working at ice cream shop and you need someone there to scoop the ice cream for five hours or eight hours at a time than that requires you to be in person doing that job but for a lot of the work that we all do now whether it's Codeine or writing or even working on strategy a lot of that has a lot more a lot more flexibility ability on how we work and certainly if you're working with people in different time zones that creates a whole other set of opportunities to think through what the traditional workday looks like yet what do you is there tons of women in the tech industry there are not there are growing number tech it's one of those industries I become very used to over the years being one of the few women in the room but I think it's it's growing there's a lot of there's a lot of people advocating for more more women in Tech but certainly the majority of people eager to go to Ted Conference or going to attack the majority of people are man and same for the venture community so you know during the investments it's still predominantly a- guys game but more women are coming in for sure yeah what do you say I guess to the people because there are a lot of women that I know who had to return back to work either they wanted to or they just needed to monetarily but but the place where they work didn't offer flake like one woman I know she was exclusively breast pumping and she would get a small window of time to pump a couple times throughout the day but the room was like seven minute walk and by the time she got there they have only a couple of minutes to pump and then have to go clean the equipment go back to her desk and she had brought up and it just seemed like nobody was is listening and nobody was carrying and then she kind of had to grieve being able to breastfeed her child because her milk supply wasn't keeping up as much because it was ah just became a huge stressful thing for her and then she you know she wasn't ready to give it up but kind of was forced to because of her job yeah that's totally that's tough that's tough I mean I I actually didn't end up breastfeeding because I had a really hard time whether on so I don't I don't personally have that experience I know companies more and more are putting the nursing Roman there so that you can do that but kind of counterproductive if you're putting and not not like people access it if that were me I'd have a really deep conversation with HR to figure out a better plan on how you you know have how I could be supported and frankly if that's that's example like if a company is saying they're supporting people they should really be supporting them it shouldn't be you have one minute to figure this out because as we all know like everyone likes to think that breastfeeding is just the super easy natural thing and for some people it's not like that's why I had a really really hard lots of tears lots of like thinking again this was gonna be this really easy natural thing for me and nothing the thing about it worked at all it was just like literally disaster I don't know how to describe it and finally I was like well we're all going to start the by but it but these were the business like hard staff because we're all told this is the right thing to do and then to have the added pressure of thinking gain if you're already struggling with it or you need more time and then you like your boss is voice in your head trying to rush you out the door or I I don't know how I would I would probably just have started crying so I think that's a hard thing too is like people in that situation like women who do get go pump hump throughout their job they still have to deal with remarks from other people of like Oh must be nice to get a take ten minute breaks throughout the day Ed when ever you want you know and just kind of dealing with maybe the people who don't get it and all of that kind of emotionally adds up totally I remember when I was pregnant at my job on they had this was sixteen years ago so it was kind of a big deal that they had done this I said it was pretty progressive they had put in a chair in the women's bathroom and was like nursing ran for being like I don't want to hang out to this but to your point yeah and at that point I worked with all guys on and I was working in intact and I was doing in you know technical support staff and yeah that would have been really uncomfortable I think and maybe that maybe that was on me that I was feeling Elaine uncomfortable it's not as if someone was overtly doing anything but I think it's kind of like when you have to get up and go use the bathroom constricted change like your eminence stopped doc period Just like God I don't really want to do this I don't WanNa have to bring my person to the bathroom when I'm in a meeting like that's that's weird but it's just like the joys stories of being a woman yeah no it is for sure I hope that I do think there are a lot of shifts and I do think that we still have a long way to come because there is I think from a men's perspective they understand like okay this person just had this this baby but then they get three months off and then they get a comeback without missing anything when I've been here the whole time yes and I think it goes back to people not understanding what that maternity leave and this is the other thing I've noticed show is at I've interviewed so many people over the years right and all interview a guy to maybe took some time off because he had a financial win or I perceive that that's what happened and he'll be like Oh yeah I was just in the islands unst for three months and I think oh my Gosh this person is so successful rate like he's so confident in like he he'll be able to come in here and just start crushing on find a woman who is like on so Saran I've been at home with the kids I you know I haven't been up to and and they're apologizing and feeling bad and we're we're kind of filling in the blanks that you know that somehow wasn't as valuable as someone just going on vacation which which is really weird because I think I think the months you have maternity leave our it's really like a medical leave I mean for a lot of of course there are some women men who is just super easy and you have this baby in everyone slaves and everything's great or for the for a lot of people there's postpartum depression there's unplanned caesarians their deliveries leverage that Garang airs babies that need care that you weren't expecting needed care there's people who don't sleep in those three months are just especially for the first one it's so life changing and it's beautiful and it's all the wonderful things you hope but it's also exhausting it's not a C. from physical perspective sharing earlier like I had a PC Ademi and that sounds like that's just a thing but it's like for three several ever weeks I was walking around with like an inflatable doughnut and you can't sit down unless you're sitting on the donut if somebody stitches that's the worst thing in the world but it's not it's not this is like oh I got to take a break from work and hang out at home and watch TV for three months lay it I got to stay at home and bond with this person who had just a few weeks ago was it's literally inside now they're outside and you're trying to get to know this new person what they need on your sleep deprived and it's it's it's something I feel like we should actually looking at going wow that was really impressive that you did that last three months welcome back thanks for thanks contributing to society you know versus or says I'll how come I don't get maternity leave break that you just got right yeah what would you say to I guess women who have taken a break from work whether it was just maternity leave or maybe took a few years off to to be get home and are entering back and they kind of do fill up apologetic about that gap or they want to explain like how do you feel confident confident going into an interview when you've taken years off work and you're coming back but you are fully qualified and fully capable and how do you turn that gap into I ask your strength I think I try to attack women Abou- thinking about the things that they've done as a mom that are actually the same things is that great managers do like if you really are focused on your family in a positive way as a stay at home mom you are most people on the WHO are trying their best are really good at conflict negotiation Dave doubt with plenty of tantrums and people if more than one kid's the people debating what should or shouldn't be happening and if you're if you're really at it as a mom you're you're becoming better and better and better at conflict doc management you're able to deal with we talk about great multi-taskers I like to think of it more as moms great having to deal with a variety of different challenges in any given moment on and so you know they're they're quipped to you develop skills to remain calm while you're working with really really young human and maybe there's someone at anything could happen in a day at mom like someone may eat so someone might accidentally pulled the fire alarm like anything really have been and that per- cares you in a lot of ways crisis crises that can have at work it doesn't mean that's the same situation but no situation is ever the same if you have your wits about you and you're focused on you know what is asked for Mike Ed's that same mindset of how am I helping these people on their journey so that they're learning to talk or learning to walk they're doing all the things that will make them full people people if you've got the same mindset on your teammates and your team members you're going to have a team that does amazing things you're not obviously worried about baby thinks with them Um but you're thinking about I make sure these people feel empowered how are they remaining curious how are they gonna WanNa continue on their career journey when you're in that mindset mindset of helping people growing develop your amazing manager so I try to remind people like what you do as a mom and you think about it at a strategic level it really translates really really well to manage now yeah that's true yeah no that's awesome what would you say I guess to women who you might have a business idea or they're trying to start out on their own Any I guess advice for wanting to join that pat you know the female entrepreneurial people who are just making it on their own and and setting new standards I would say definitely look in your local goal area for a network on network with other people who are thinking about entrepreneurship even if it's not in your space it's it's a lonely the journey so it's helpful to find other people and a lot of you know certainly in big cities but in a lot of communities now in more and more events that crop up on ways take to get involved and then there's a whole bunch of steps that people can start to do to really flesh out what is their business idea is this something that I I just WanNa set up as a small consulting business or small independent company an and maybe you know build build our offer a one time service or am I really they trying to build a huge scalable organization that's going to grow over time and depending on the type of business that you're going to build you'll need different different sets of resources but wherever you're starting the first questions are always saying like who is my customer what exactly am I making him why who's my competition Russian so there's I think getting to the right network in your community going online and looking for different online forums there's a whole bunch out there right right now that I can send you links to after the call if you want that that are meant to help people navigate all of these things but really just thinking eighteen through am I am I saw being a real problem I kind of like to remind people like you're either if you like if you're making a vitamin or a painkiller right so so if you have a vitamin better be amazing 'cause people will just take it for fun or buy your product for fun and if painkiller you're making something that is re meeting meeting a real pain point is something people need and that's usually where people are also is money that's so interesting you used a word in there finding out who your competition is so how as women do we not see each other as competitors especially in this field of wanting running to like root for each other because there's enough against us right now and you know especially mom's wanting to enter for it and So how do we I guess uplift each other and not I mean you could be competitors but we can still be rooting for each other yeah totally so I mean I think the idea of if you're starting your own business you need to be aware of what are also already out there you nor they're already the big companies doing what you're doing so that that's what I meant by competitors but I know what you're saying like sometimes as women it's easy to be all like there's the competitive nature among all of us like oh well you know I need to keep my idea but I like what I like to remind people like there's more than enough for everyone if you just look in nature you can there's more than enough on and so I like to remind people like volunteer purposes if you find you find a tribe of other women tried right I remember like you can all you know there are ways that everyone can help other people assume good intent assume that if you're talking to someone they don't have that intense assume that the I know we kind of tell people oh be wary of strangers and all this kind of stuff I try to remind people like that's actually kind of it sets you up for kind of a Ah a narrow life when you do that I liked Myron people from our people are really good and have good intact so spend time focusing focusing on that and you'll you'll find yourself gravitating to really amazing people yeah no that's very true and I mean I look at the podcast arena for example I interviewed tons of other podcasters and I've never felt like oh well you have a podcast so you can't come on mind because what if my listeners it's like go to yours you know like it's like you're you're going to track the people who are getting fed from what you're putting out there from your content and and and I bring on people who are doing coal works so it's like yeah go listen to the forty three percent and if you're you know especially a mom who's entering back into that filled you're gonNA find tons of information a lot of women who have gone before you and it'll be very relatable if that's the season of your life that you're in yeah I totally looked to have my fun that it would be so much fun but yeah I mean what you're doing is awesome and you guys it's definitely should check check out the forty-three percent and I found that it was super interesting I didn't know that seventeen percent of companies do not offer maternity leave like how do I make that change well it's funny because like I was doing it because I'm working on this book I've been doing all this research on it and then when you start to do the research it makes you crazy you think about it's like nineteen twenty women got the right to vote but we didn't get the right to even open our own credit cards without a male signature until nineteen seventy I took times down to and for this whole idea of maternity leave has only been something that's really been debated talked about in the last thirty years thank and there was progress made because everyone knows family medical leave act for but really what that vein by you're not going to get fired you're not gonNA lose your job but it doesn't mean the company has to pay you on but keep in mind to wasn't that long ago until nineteen sixty five a civil rights I it wasn't that long ago that actually it was even later than that I think it was the late seventy s seventy eight where they couldn't make pregnancy in issue in the hiring process like it really wasn't in our in my lifetime it was totally fine for an employer at one point to say oh you're pregnant so yeah we won't hire you on so it used to be seen as this liability like go home and take find another job and so companies just I think com people just keep doing whatever the status quo is until enough people bring it up as an issue and it was a big breakthrough to be at the point where companies weren't gonNA fire you or hire you with agni-ii in mind on and now I think people are starting to realize wait a minute if we WANNA keep good employees this shouldn't be something that is seen as a penalty for women to take this time to bond with their new baby and and frankly for husbands to I mean for for paternity leave I I think it's really important and it's really just being talked about but matt imagine if we're in a situation where husbands could also take in three months off and you'd have the first six months with two caregivers at home or something but yeah only seventeen percent right now enough people really challenged that or people make decisions on where they're gonNA work based on that I don't think we'll see a change until enough people start raising it as an issue yeah well it's crazy could so many other countries have the systems in place and it works great well it was funny I was actually talking to someone who heads up hr or a company in Ireland and she was saying how they have guaranteed six months but but they still have an attrition issue women don't come back in Easley and she tied to flexibility she said you know the maternity leave is one thing and then it becomes the flexibility ability on she said a lot of times women will say oh well what if I just go to a four day workweek instead and I'll take Friday off and she's like well that doesn't isn't solve your problem if someone throws up at daycare on Tuesday and when you really really drill into it what people want is flexibility to know they're not gonNA lose their job ah they're also being responsible and that sort of what what we need to get everyone to talk about yeah no absolutely I I don't remember where I was watching this I think it was on a show but they they were talking to the mom about that like how she had missed out on certain things because wake her child had thrown up and then like her whole family was sick and it's like me on lake normally when your kids rose up a daycare for some reason it's the mom goes and gets them usually not the dad and then they're the one who's getting penalized for the hey you already took a day off work or whatever it is and it's like if you're trying to be a responsible good parent like where where's the line like there's not a lion bustling were like how do you make it all work it's so crazy in those first few years like so many kids like they just I feel like they're just little germ factories increase great like I think I was the sickest I've ever been when my kids were toddlers because I was like what what is this when we bring home exactly yeah I had all the there were so many weird things at that age and so like now I try to be understanding of other women I work with who are at that stage of life I remember remember it and if they are here working and they've got kids I try to I it's hard maybe I try to remember like I know at that stage is like I know they're being responsible and log back in leader it'll be fine but a lot of people don't think that way so we just need more people to do that yes which which is why we need more women in leadership you go yes in to root for each other so if people want to follow what you're doing where can they find out more information permission on you so we've got a website called the forty three percent dot com it's T. h. e. four three P. E. R. C. E. N. T. dot com on and I have also have a website cloudy Reuter Dot COM which I don't update nearly as often the Anna's Dale but forty three percent is pretty updated and of course we're on all everywhere you get on cast awesome thank you so much cloudy for coming on and sharing with us and and I don't know even just like inspiring women to fill more confident to get back out there if that's the route that they're choosing to to go and to even push for more leadership positions don't feel like because you took a couple years off you have to go back at entry level if you've had experience on a different one like go back in for you know for the the role that you deserve the job that you deserve and because you have been managing a family yeah if if you wanted to pay someone to do it you'd have to pay them a lot of exactly exactly well thank you so much for coming on and we will talk to you soon thank you so much I really appreciate it I love Claudia in the work that she is doing in Intro I said forty two percent I san corrected it as forty three percent percents so make sure you check her out it's an amazing podcast for working MOMS and anybody who's considering going back to work or even balancing your stay stay at home life the work that she's doing is awesome and I'm so grateful and she agreed to come on the podcast so if you guys are not following being rancorous Mama's on instagram or twitter you probably should 'cause I'm still learning how to tweet in need your help so I'll be posting episodes up there if you guys can re tweet them out for me that'd be so helpful follow us on the Miraculous Mama's instagram where I always post quotes from our guest information about them interests interests little tidbits in the stories information that I find through instagram and then join our miraculous Mama's community on facebook women there are awesome mm-hmm and I am just so incredibly grateful for them their support their love their time and energy that they invest into it is is really amazing and if you're listening to this podcast and you're not subscribed hit that subscription button so that you can stay up to date on all the podcast releases every Monday when they come out and share share this podcast somebody who you know needs to hear it or somebody you think quid enjoy it if you're loving what you're hearing give us a rating or a review review we would love your feedback and I just appreciate you so so much in love you guys so much and I am so excited for the next couple of months months of guest breath there's just continually amazing people coming on the PODCASTS and giving us free education these are experts in filled in fields that are bringing information to us for free and they are just awesome and I'm so grateful for them for taking time out of their busy schedules federal's to connect with us answer our questions and help us learn and grow but I love you guys and I will talk to you this podcast is

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