Barstool Rundown - March 5, 2020
Rundown March fifth is brought to you by NASCAR as saying start to the season. The NASCAR Cup series heads to Phoenix this week in a duel. It out for winning the desert. You've seen Dave going down to all the NASCAR events this season and now you can listen to them on rubbing is racing with his new NASCAR. Podcast Clinton Boyer so Now's the time to get in on NASCAR. Barstool has officially delve into the NASCAR pool. You should too. It's one of the most exciting sports here in America and The Phoenix The Phoenix event up for the Cup series is Sunday three thirty. Pm Eastern time on Fox you can also download the NASCAR FINISH APP and you can do a free game of the NASCAR predictor game That gives fans the chance to win. Fifty thousand dollars every single race You can get your tickets at NASCAR RACE NASCAR DOT com forward slash tickets or you can watch it on Fox this Sunday Make sure you go is podcast. Thirty eight weeks NASCAR. That's great that's like like football. Hey but can't do anything tonight today. That's US every week just fucking year. That's a great sports fan. That's actually a really good selling point like you get into Nascar you'll have your head all right. We'll start off with I mean. Let's get back into corona virus all day every day we got three new updates on corona virus will start with Star this chick. Who is she like a CD person? I do not give him some kind of health and important person in the know informed about how to handle a corona bias. She says the most important thing is to not touch your face or your mouth today. Start working on not touching your face because when main way viruses spread is when you touch your own mouth nose or eyes and immediately proceeded to do the Finger Lik said she can flip the pages. Forget about corona virus. Lick your hands to turn a page on your old and dramatic. It's ridiculous turn the page. It's it's the silliest thing I don't think anybody under the age like fifty eight if I can't get up just never happened entire life. It really get like really sticky or the papers funny or something. You just kind of do it anytime lick and touch and you know what some people do which is so bizarre to like Bodega and things like that. They keep the lemon there. Yeah the Lemons Bizarre. I like. This is page. You've me last page I earned. I turned it all the time. And I'm so good at it. I would argue. I'm one of the best page-turners on the planet or never had a bad page Turner. You are a bona fide idiot. We did. We'd have a contest in Florida. You remember wasn't flipping through the menu. You beat the shit out of your fast page Turner so that was a challenge entering the gambled on it right out of the bed. I mean to to have to do that. It's only old people. It's such a weird thing but I hate this whole no touching your face and no because now. I'm just hyper aware touching my face all day every day touching. You're saying just don't break this little. Who are these people who are not touching their face today? Not have any itches. And I haven't touched my face in weeks and weeks with the president. I miss it face my nose. That JOE is. It's all the time being careful. You're going to get it. I think if you change your routine because you're gonNA get it. Yeah it's like playing in an all star game you play. Ashby hurt talking. Just thought like I think living in a bubble is bad. I do think being exposed to more. Germs is is better but I think once it's here it's probably a good idea to okay. I come I in everywhere visit my mouth today. Have you ever face today? Yeah hundred links as I sit on my mouth on my face on my ass today. I WANNA put that on. The day is young. Who Do you go in? What do you mean to go in that sucker when you clean it my answer? I think I think he does not know you. Just pure speculation that call it goes into this chap this this the. We've we've gone over this a lot of them because I never understood how people wash there is no. I don't go in or even really around almost shower. One hundreds of times shit showers at like ninety three percents of the time that's exists but when you think about it but I also feel like once a week all. That's why he's able to do this. Okay let's say you you've fell over some shit you landed in a pile of shit in your bare ass. You'd be like I got a shower. Clean is often you do it yourself like just women wipe it with toilet paper. I'll be fine. We don't even do the wh- we as humans take cleaning our asses wiper either. I'm a how many times your wife until it's done many took over four one. What everyone knows you white four times and if it's not clean clean after four splattered old? You're on seventh latterly God we're off the rails I also we. We saw this yesterday on Metro North Train. That's the commuter line that I take into the city. All WESTCHESTER GETS INTO NEW YORK. That way This dude sat on a three seater so metro north has the three in a row and he sat in the middle blocked off the window and on the aisle seat he leaves a note that says. I have been in the same office space as someone who's being tested for corona virus. I don't have any symptoms. But that's just something that I would like to know so I'm letting you know and everybody stayed away from the whole fucking train. Ride jeans roof is it. I can't decide if it's so. Is this guy genius or an asshole genius because he did get a free see to himself like they didn't the guy who showed me the pictures said that nobody's out with them. I have a teak here. I do not care about sitting with people. Everyone put people on the train a lot and on the Acela who always looking through like fifty cars trying to find one word. Both seats are open to sit next to somebody. I don't care I don't care when you sit next on the train. Like the Metro North Carolina Railroad. They get upset. We talking to me. I don't give me an Mardi are sitting on either end of the three senior. You'RE GONNA come in and said the middle I expect is yes we get an come on and they kind of know that they're being an asshole and they lean in make noises and they just point like. I'm sorry but I'm going to do it and then and then that person like Hopson puffs and then they also down their legs or rubbing lobby. Libyan men this because I'm speaking more about a sellers and stuff like that. I don't take a lot of public transportation like that. If seats are separate then you can just sit. You know you had a bench seat right on a separate seat. I I'll sit the fuck close. There's almost like our Now I don't have much experience bench seating metro-north they also have the ones that face each other. And if you put all five people in a five seater in Metro. North knees are knocking. People are searching for which strangers night's big time like establish dominance too. It's like are you Gonna. Wide Bitch goes to list whatever so there's rules to this shit and I I the reason I am not down with. This is because it's just like an unwritten rule and it does suck for everyone else and you're just being an asshole years exploiting plate. You also going to get in my own head about it. It's like it happened to me. I was getting drinks and wages came over with a tray and said I'm sorry. I copped on these on the way over here which get new ones and I was like no. I don't WanNa be rude. You just don't tell me. Yeah get sick. I I'm not gonNA really aren't but it was. That waitress who coughed under. I got sick at some move for a waitress to admit that right. Yeah just you would've known but there's no chance I'd tell them. Bring it back to put on. The table was down. There's a hair my food is. They must have misplaced you guys in general circumstances given right now if someone blatantly told me they caught on something that'd be like well honestly. I would've but my sister answered I and my sister said it's fine and then I had to. I was like well. You should just just take back. We're an asshole like there are plenty of people who'd be like send the manager over here So I think fuck this guy. I think what I would have done is. I would've gone and sat next to him and been like Oh metoo. We're good taste. Buds remember like one of my office has a to the idea that like this bench compared to this benches quarantine. You're the chamber. We all have it. If you haven't we all have it The last bit of Corona Virus This should be more of an after show topic but fuck it. We'll just get right into it Nate has the corners. Nate nate has been out sick for like four days with all the flu symptoms. But I'm actually on his side. He's not going to go to the doctor. Because I think if you go to the doctor right now. You're like they're not just going to be like. Oh yeah like golden better. They're like they're gonNA get quarantines way was like I don't know exactly but your apartment you thought to leave your perfectly three bucks. I think if you go up to like a clinic right now and say I have flu symptoms. I think that they're like you're not getting out of there for a while. Which is crazy. I don't think they can even test pseudo. Rian Rudy was on on this morning. There was like twenty five hundred tests kids or something like that. And why don't we just make more? Well that's Dr Oz was saying. We don't have enough masks of kids. This is why when the big league does make glossing over nate. Nate Scott Y. Hopi so now the so Dave Dave's logic and I kind of like this. Dave says he doesn't have it because it's not important enough to get corona virus so I read that the CDC said that forty percent of the world's going to get this forty give. It plays out the way they're killed like twenty two not GonNa Die Third. Seventy five million which is in big number but I really hope nate. Has it not so much because a nate? Nate has it that means other people who are going to get it and if Barstool sports can be traced to like the center of the outbreak throw is good. We have someone who will come in here all the time. That's pretty fucking we would rather merch to very we. Live ain't no celebrities coming in here again? You can trace like the outbreak in Hollywood back to some guests here. That's Barzel the other day. Six degrees Oh shit shit. If there's anyway Brad you face that'd be so awesome through Kevin Bacon through us. Oh that'd be I hope you find. Please follow me on twitter or Instagram Madonna. Why you didn't follow me follow. Kevin already followed me making people in the world. Eighty eight votes Kevin Casey Radio Yeah Not Palmer. Game gave us this week. Still be nice for now I mean I. I don't think we're GONNA know because I think. Nate is right in the sense of like if you just try to go to the doctor now. David there will the documents saying regular flu. What does Dr he knows if he got the virus? He's getting a race. Yes you are. The one person versus crimefighters I would milk. Let's like if I anything happens to me. I'm GonNa melt the show you know it was. A good idea is just like like yeah. Maybe he's just pretending because I was nate and I'm always looking for like sitting on his clothes so I'm GonNa go home right now. I'm nate and I'm pressing record and I'm doing like the corona podcast or the corona livestream. And just talking to fake bleeding is shitting. And I'm since way through my clothes walking dislike. It's awesome spider monkeys now. That hasn't been do it? Nathan might be on to something. This big nate roots here. 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I have there was a stage in my life right broken all the time but I've been good for a while. You have like a five year stretch and you weren't losing your sunglasses when you're breaking your phone sunglasses. I've I've careful with this but sunglasses wallets keys phones. I've been on a pretty good run. Knock on wood. I go to N. B. M. T. dot com slash rundown and you get fifteen percent off plus free shipping and free returns The perfect gift friends family by yourself for your girl. Whoever and the M. T. dot com slash rundown fifteen percent off Resigned unbelievable. It's more than ever. I haven't hit all of my days trying to go with like the outside of this probably won't help anything Nick will lender fuck this guy so of this guy? I don't even know if you guys care. Watch this but I I have to rant on him. Every single time and happens I've been doing. I actually didn't watch last night. I was finally my protest because I'm just sick of it. I did it in two thousand twelve. I do it in two thousand fourteen every time. This guy does something. It's a special on TV. He's the tight Walker. He has a harness every time until he doesn't have a harness. I don't care I'll walk right now and yeah I can't fall in. The volcano was the fucking fear here. You wouldn't do it well. Kim. I don't do volcanoes but harness fantasy tragedy in the harness. Break the same way you jump out of the plane and your parachute doesn't apply if you're offering me a big paycheck to walk over. He he walked Walk over Niagara Falls. He walked between two skies. Anyone Last night over a volcano always has a safety harness. No I need tragedy or win. Nothing else. He claims that he wants to. The government will not let him whether or not. That's true. Maybe it is. I don't care as long as that's what what's going on in. Tv has a harness. If someone I could you. Imagine if volcano was the movie. Dante's peak in volcanoes humor at the same time volcano one is. Which movie is it where grandma know where the guy is like? They're getting out of a train and he's sinking into throw someone. I think it's volcano. Not doing a great job jumps off the backs. He's got what is it. He jumps out the back and like a subway and then he's a carrying someone does not jump landing the lava and then there's also in Dante's peak. The grandma just trudges plus save the grandkids. And especially if you're GONNA fall into a volcano. You gotta go ahead. I gotta go like the Middle. You're done but I think if you go feet I I think you're GonNa sink in just like you're gonNa feel pain. You gotta go ahead. I burn you're saying I'm pretty sure you like incinerates though. I don't think it's like a slow. You're falling into love thick. You wouldn't go into that. I wouldn't have fallen into a pool log on. I think I think it's like you just burn instantly. I don't think you can your telling you. Volcanoes like gravy. You're saying but yeah about you're talking about lava that's like poor down the side and then like runner on the river right. I'm talking to this guy would have fallen into that. I think you just do. I swim around the volcano for a little bit about. Wouldn't you call in like water? I don't think you would fall in in like immediately your whole body. I think it's thick. It's like landing on also depend on how you are because if you're sixty feet up falling into hitting water is like hitting. Yeah so I think it's a thicker. It's thicker than water. I think you're gonna hit that sucker hard. I'm pretty sure that LOB is gonna eat you up instantly. I don't know I've seen the inside of volcano thinking about it. It does look like us like water in a storm sloshing around. And it's like twenty. Three's I think it's thicker than you think. Stick but I just think again limps. I'm not thinking a lot. I know for sure I'm thinking about you. Can't in the lamp is pretty volcanic lava from Dave and Buster's. Yeah you ever want their love that no loser. Whoa Whoa what was that about? You both had lava lamps sick. Big Time Rudy definitely. Who's Volkan would you ever have like no black shopping hot topic? Everyone wants to be like their spencer gifts phase. Now I pretended I'm looking at dildos. That was a little bill. Doesn't look like the Jenner James and both the little Sunday. What's Spencer's looking for t shirts? No Michael Jackson and Briana banks posters generalists classic classic Bill Clinton new new documentary club. Coming out called Hilary. Bill Clinton said that he got his blowjob for Monica Lewinsky to ease anxiety to manage his anxiety which I mean. That's yeah I mean I mean like I understand. It's you're being crass and rude and hearing it from a former president you makes it. Sounds like an asshole. But like yeah. I mean that's why you did it. That's probably was like. Oh my God. I'm the president of marriage sucks terrible. Why can't believe with? Why would any of them do? Hulu must have cut them FAC soon getting away with murder and like Pedophilia Anyway He's deaf one. Nothing sticks. I just wouldn't WanNa talk about it. I wouldn't want to talk about that. Humongous Daschle scale. That got me impeached. Yeah I'm like I'd rather just I'm rich. I'm powerful house. No checking imagine if they made a a documentary called Final Burger. And it's just about like you know like well. Let's make sure we get your husband in here and talk about it when you gotta fix by someone else you know. It's like I was supposed to be my fucking thing talking about this but he He said He was just like it was stressful time and I was managing my. I'll tell you I didn't think it was GONNA GET CAUGHT. So whatever if you're gonNA say the other day that like I mean. Mental health is like the hottest thing in. If you're like blame it on anxiety a mockery of it was that I almost feel like dude. You wanted to get your Dick Dr not like you. Don't have railings. -iety I like these wearing. It is like yeah I got my Dick Sucked. Hillary wasn't here. She was there and Preventing Hillary Cam in Arkansas. Right now on. I don't think that's done a couple more things. Finish up Espn strong trade for Al Michaels. Which between the trading idea and Tony Romo getting a hundred and eighty million over ten? It's like it's always official. I thought so it's only if it's only. Cbs UPDATES their contract with the NFL. Which of course they're going to do See I have had that money but yeah I mean I thought the number was like a joke or wrong or something. I don't know how much these other guys are making. Tony Romo making eighteen million is insane. I mean if he does the ratings. Don't change the game doesn't Change Fan. Who Doesn't change? He doesn't I actually personally don't like them but I know I'm in the minority. But it's not like he's necessary. I'm one hundred. Eighty I know is good but like no in the place before tap well he he also every for every time he's right there's a bunch of times he's wrong he kind of talks over everything all the time like what. I don't need that. He's focused anybody so now. Usps trying to trade for Al Michaels and pair them with Peyton manning as like their dream do oh i. I didn't know you could trade. These people love it so I don't know if you're trading contracts or money or like game rights you give us Al Michaels and you can get those two games in September whenever That's fascinating though. I would love to know how the INS and outs dilatory every industry. I think we've talked about this before you get like trade someone to our deadspin. If it was like nate you're going to Deadspin Today Yorker ONA infiltrate your on the ballot for put if Dave could trade. It'd be fucked up one little time. You're trading day to just be like I'm trading you for a bag of balls return. If Dave has the ability to trade I would need constant blowjobs. Just I would have. I Never WanNa Finish Constable John Last thought we got this fat Lacrosse player. He is Oh sorry that was that fat guy. I don't know what level of Lacrosse. I don't know what we're really watching. But he is a fucking unit and I think he's unstoppable. They're all like just hitting them with their sticks and he just walking through it like it's nothing I feel like every not every high school but every league every division has one fat guy who is who is on this research. Swim moves super slow but He moved a volcanic. Rob Lowe will have let it go. Viral and seven. Agassi'S SNACKS IS DIVISION. Q. Highschool I can't believe that was a division one school and that the manager though right but him taking a half court shot the balls in that can do is getting in there to be like all right. Let me take you happen to basketball. Happens in football we just like? Oh handed off to this fucking humongous person. I love in football where there's always like one high school or who's like a couple of years older but definitely development wise way ahead and it looks like he was planning on going back to the fat. Guy All right. That's it I mean is I'm sure the and you got crazy vibes over here. He's trying to feed people prehistoric eggs from China. Right now is pretty good. You're own no I feel awful. I feel like down. I don't get on these things but it was fine. I just feel like eating a old egg from China is asking for us. Yeah so it's not from China. That's that's among Chinese letter packaging. It's California so why would they do that? I don't you sure a positive. It says right on there. It's like Vista Bay or some show went there. I don't think so. I think that is just making prehistoric. Duck eggs I feel like that's a prehistoric. I think it's a different P. Word against preserved Jurassic cars is preserved. Exactly look like a dinosaur egg. The embers at the Mosquitoes I sure that'd be your is is definitely. That would be like a definitely be. A crime does eating prehistoric eggs. I passed bibs. You don't know bibs that well. That guy is is searching far wide for the next growth thing to make puke so I guess get better or not. We're not not put allies need us.