Corona Virus: What To Tell Your Kids
welcome to the power podcast and are twenty twenty our perspective. I'm your host Malaysia. Warner discussing topics to broaden our perspective by looking at life issues in a new way this episode sixty one three things to tell kids about eighteen. Hi Friends and welcome if you are sick to death of hearing about Kobe. Nineteen or corona virus. I know where you're coming from. I'm getting a little discussion weary of the topic myself. Then you might want to turn off this episode and move on to another topic because there are other things going on in the world not just the Corona Virus. However if you or one of your children are dealing with the disappointment of canceled events due to cove in nineteen then. Today's episode offers perspective. You can share with your family. Your neighbors about handling the social changes we're all experiencing has I'm recording. Today is Saturday march. Fourteenth Twenty twenty. It is pie day. Three point one four happy pie day everyone although I think a lot of us have forgotten in the craziness that's going on. What a week so in my neck of the woods. I live in the western United States. The State of Utah and I'm south of Salt Lake and this week began Sunday. Monday began pretty much normal and then by. I'm trying to remember it was Monday. I think it was Monday or Tuesday. Night my boys started watching our jazz basketball team. They were in Oklahoma ready to play. Ready for the tip off. Doctor came onto the floor. Spoke with the refs cleared. Everyone off of the floor turned out our jazz player Bear tested that day positive for Cova Nineteen and so they quarantined all the players from both teams in the stadium and had them all tested and then domino reaction. Nba ended up canceling or at least postponing any other games as of right now there are no NBA Basketball Games being played. It had already been announced that there would not be any spectators watching the march madness college basketball tournament and then during this week that changed to none of those games were going to be played either now as of yesterday just Friday. Our school has been canceled for the next two weeks possibly longer. We don't really know yet and a lot of events being cancelled and I wanted to address that because we've had some disappointment here in our house. My High School student was disappointed that his math competition was cancelled. Now that's another illness entirely. If you're sad that you don't get to take a math test. That's a different kind of illness entirely and I have no advice on the topic. Might Elementary School student is disappointed. His Wax Museum has been postponed. He's in fifth. Grade and fifth grade is the year they go to their clear creek camp out. That's the big adventure for elementary school. We don't know if that will be happening this year. Not My junior. High Son was disappointed because his state band festival was canceled. They've been rehearsing their music so long. It's day when it's filled trip. They get excused absences. They get to ride on a bus with their band. Friends and go perform the music. They've been practicing and he was really disappointed that he just had to go to a regular day of school that day. In addition his spring soccer season has been indefinitely postponed. So there are these kind of going on. I've heard of a lot of friends. And people who have tickets to concerts plays sporting events that have been cancelled when it might ultimate favorite places in the world outside of home the local library. Our local libraries now closed. I think students who have been practicing rehearsing preparing for years. Our Local University Brigham Young University. Their basketball team had an amazing season. And a great chance at making it to the sweet sixteen for the first time in however many years and my heart breaks especially thinking about the seniors who this is their last season of their college career in a sport that has been their life from the first time that they ever played community rec basketball. And that's just one example. There are dance competitions. Maybe your child landed there fever all-time role in the spring musical. There's definitely some real disappointment and real heartbreak here. So what can we say to our kids? And that's the goal. The purpose of today's podcast episode is to have a discussion about the impact that we're seeing from the corona virus and explore some different perspective options and what of those perspectives are going to be the most helpful and which of those perspectives are probably going to create more fear and do harm than good. Are we feeding our kids on a frenzy of fear or are we empowering them with hope and proactiveness so let's start first with three things not to say to kids and then go into three things to say to kids about the corona virus? So three things not to say I am not saying that these things are wrong. I am not saying that their faults. I'm just suggesting that saying these things might cause more harm than good number one saying that. This corona virus spread is a sign of the end of the world. There's a tendency for people who believe in the New Testament for Christians who are waiting for the second coming of Jesus Christ and who believe in the prophecies of John in the book of revelation to jump on that. This is the sign of the end of the day's bandwagon. The bottom line it could be it could happen tomorrow. I don't know and you don't know so my question is we don't know then what good cannot serve by seeing it. Does it help us really to be more prepared or more fearful. I remember growing up in the Cold War when Russia was our mortal enemy apologies to any Russian friends listening out there but you remember the nineteen eighties. It was the Cold War and I heard often that it was the last days that it was the end of the world and I remember being awake at night in my bedroom. Terrified my brain going crazy thinking about imagining trying to just from my limited perspective frame what that would look like what the end of the world would look like and what impact it would have upon me and here. I am thirty plus years later and now there is no more cold war. I remember the same kind of feeling with the Gulf War and Saddam Hussein and feeling like that was going to be the breakout of World War. Three then remember y two K for all of you who lived through the change from the nineteen ninety nine date to two thousand. Wow any talk about a frenzy. We really were watching the clock waiting for it to turn to midnight expecting that everything would explode or implode or that. The computers would all fuse out. And I think we just didn't know what to expect. It was an unknown in my lifetime. I've also experienced the technology. Bubble burst and nine eleven. My husband came home from work on Thursday and he said the feeling of this day reminds me of the feeling of September twelfth. Two thousand one that feeling of unknown we can't predict or even comprehend the full ramifications of what's going on I remember watching the towers fall and being glued to the television and thinking that our world was going to change completely that maybe we wouldn't even have an economy anymore and we would all revert to living intense and being an agrarian society. Everyone growing our own food felt that uncertainty that unknown and then in two thousand eight we experienced the housing market crash. And I bring these things up as a reminder that we've experienced unknown things as a country as a world before we've lived through scary unknowns it boils down to it might be the end of the world it might not no one knows so why say that it is does it do any good doesn't make us any better about planning our lives about living about looking for solutions. If we believe it's the end of the world. I kind of think that I would rather plan to live and be surprised by dying then planned to die and be surprised by living. I want my kids to be able to plan their futures with all the hope and optimism. That should come with youth so just some thoughts there are no right or wrong but maybe just some thoughts to be careful about what comes out and how you sound about gloom and doom of end of the world number-two thing not to say to your kids again not wrong not faults just some thoughts here and that is saying this is. Satan's fault again it might be. It might not be. I don't know neither do you. So why give the Guy Credit? What if it's biology? What if we all have physical bodies and there are such things as bacteria and viruses that we are susceptible to what if this has nothing to do with conspiracy theory or a terrorist attack or a plan of the devil? Sure it could. But the truth is we don't know so. I had to choose which way to think and I'm going to choose the mindset that empowers rather than cripples me. I'm going to choose the thoughts that helped me take my actions and help. My family live in an environment of calm and confidence rather than fear an unknown. I do believe there are ways to educate and empower children about evil in the world. And how to be resilient and watchful for it and I don't think one of those ways is by labeling any tricky situation that comes up as a Grand Evil Plan by a terrorist conspirator or the devil to overtake us. The reason terrorism is called terror. Ism is because the acts are bred to incite fear and terrorists are most successful if they generate huge amounts of fear frenzy and terror. So the best way to combat terror is to be optimistic and to not be afraid. I absolutely believe that as a collective of humans that we are smarter stronger braver than any active evil. You can call me an optimist and I will take it as a compliment. I believe in the power of hope faith and goodwill over evil any day. Third thing not to say children. This is a tough one again. Not right or not wrong just a way to think about it. It's to not politicize. The virus something like this happens and the Democrat say that it's all the Republicans fall in the Republican. Say that it's all the Democrats fault. And what good does that do if we're divided and fighting against each other than we cannot fight for each other in finding the solutions that help us all. I really look forward to the day when we stop dividing our world into two camps where one side is always good and always right and the other side is always bad and always wrong. I will bet money that there is good and bad and right and wrong on both sides just as there is good and bad and right and wrong inside of me. I believe we cripple our children when we place blame on one side why because we are essentially teaching them to spend time and resources looking for where to place blame rather than on where to find solutions and that mindset of placing blame will replicate their marriage their workplaces their social networks. Are we raising kids to be blame? Irs or solvers? So just some thoughts this next couple of weeks when you're not going to your soccer games and you're not going to your concerts and you're not watching basketball games and have lots of extra time to talk. Just some thoughts on being attentive of what comes out of the Mouth. We need good discussions. We need neutral discussions. And I don't mean I think positively everything will be okay. I'm not talking about turning a blind eye to reality and I don't think our kids really by that either. They want to know facts. They want to know what's really going on. So what are three things that we can say to our children that will empower and help them to have faith that everything is going to turn out okay. Let's move now to three perspectives. Three empowering approaches that we can take when our kids ask questions or when. They're disappointed when they want to know what's going to happen. I'm just going to say we'll all three are and then we'll give some examples and talk about them. Number one is the principle of a little hard now easier later easy now a lot harder later number two looking at the big picture and talking facts about Team and number three asking kids. What's the alternative? Would you rather have this or would you rather have the alternative okay? Let's dive in number one. I loved this principle. This is a one-size-fits-all principle that you can double up in multiple different areas today. We're going to use it in talking about the krona virus so this is the principle that things that we do that are a little hard now become easier later but if we choose easy now then later we're setting ourselves up for much harder. The universal example of this that we can all relate to is diet and exercise right. It's hard now to exercise and to eat nutritiously to turn down that donut. Second piece of chocolate cake. That's hard to do now but when I do the hard now later my life will be easier. Switch it around. The easy thing to do now is to not exercise to be sedentary to eat anything I want but then later my life is going to be harder. It's going to be harder to move. I'm going to lack energy. I'm not going to sleep as well. I'm going to have complications of heart. Disease or diabetes or weak this is super nifty power principle. It's a great principle to teach kids. It's a principle. I use myself all the time when I think oh this is so hard I just tell myself. Okay I can do it now and it's going to be hard or I can put it off and I'm still going to have to do it and it will be harder later so I can do the hard now or I can choose the harder later because the truth is something may be hard now but if we put it off it will be more hard later and this is exactly what we're facing with the corona virus. It is hard to cancel our concerts and sporting events in school. It's really an inconvenience in a lot of ways however if we don't do it now we are going to be facing much much harder circumstances several months away and we'll discuss that a little bit more as we go into number two which is to look at the big picture so our kids. We do this to. We are the center of our own world. Aren't we we really feel like we're the San and all of the planets rotate around us and sometimes it's good to just step back and get the global perspective and this is an opportunity to have a discussion of facts with our children? So my boys is. They've come up this week and had questions or sometimes I'll just say to them. What do you understand about crony buyer? S what do you think you know what's going on and I really try to be careful that our conversations are not lectures to them. I don't tell them that they're wrong and feeling disappointed. It is disappointing. I definitely empathize with that. It's disappointing to have plans change. So it's not a lecture. It's more a discussion on all. That is disappointing. What do you think about it and do you understand why? And then it gives us a chance to talk about what's going on with coveted nineteen. So let's talk about it here. Is this an overreaction? Is this a media frenzy? Do we really need to be closing down? Our schools and canceling March madness. Is it that big of a deal? And this is the part of the podcast where give the disclaimer that I am not a medical expert? I'm not an infectious disease expert by any means I'm just representing perspectives. That can be more helpful to our families during this unknown time. So I'm not your go-to source on the most to date stats and facts. But I've done enough research to have a good general idea of what is going on. So how is the corona virus different? We've heard that the death toll isn't really high in there still more people dying from influenza and even Turkey losses than from Corona virus. So what's really the big deal and the answer? Is you think back about the SARS epidemic that happened in two thousand three that really largely stayed in Asia. It didn't really spread too far away. Think also more recently the Ebola virus and that dynamic that also didn't really spread outside of Africa the coveted nineteen. The difference is it is jumping borders. It is a virus that is traveling and then once it gets in the country. It's being spread community to community so it really is far more of a global virus than anything else that we've ever seen. The flu has a season. It's October to February in our society. Our medical systems pretty much know what to anticipate with the flu from year to year. How many hospitalizations? They're going to be the treatment that's going to be required and they can kind count on that. At the end of the season the flu is going to Peter out. The Krona virus does not have a season. My understanding is that it can go year round and so we aren't going to be able to count on this summer months lessening the spread. It is pretty fascinating to look at numbers of how staff this virus can get out of hand and I will put the link in the show notes to a couple of articles one from NPR that show some graphs of how it has spread in the world and the two cases that were really learning from have been Iran and Italy. They were both countries that were very laxity ethical about the disease to the point that the Iran deputy health minister was coughing into the microphone on national television as he was speaking about corona virus and mocking it. Not taking it seriously. And then he later tested positive for the virus. Iran went from having under fifty cases to within two weeks having over nine thousand cases. Italy on leap day this year so just barely the end of February Italy had three hundred twenty two confirmed cases one week later they had twenty five hundred cases so if I could go pull in my son who was so disappointed about missing his math competition he would tell us the mouth of that is that it was almost ten times that it multiplied baked ten times in a one week period and then by March eleven they had over ten thousand cases and now they've begun taking drastic measures and if you've seen the news coverage the streets of Italy are completely isolated quarantined locked in the house and the hardest thing. The most heartbreaking thing is the Italian doctors who do not have enough ventilators for the sick patients they have to choose who's going to get ventilator and who doesn't and that's a hard position to be in so if you think about the potential rate that can duplicate ten thousand cases in one week becoming a hundred thousand cases in another week becoming a million cases and within a few short months you have an over taxed overburden hospital system in our country. We have experienced housing market crash. We have experienced a technology crash but we have never experienced a healthcare crash. And I think about what happens to the pregnant moms who need to deliver a baby and the hospitals are so overburdened. That doctors aren't available or Corisca of having a baby in a hospital and contracting the corona bias on top of it. It's terrifying and the risk to the newborn wet about patients undergoing cancer treatment or dialysis or any kind of standard regular medical need. You're a car accident and you get hospitalized for a little while it really completely changes our perspective about the inconvenience of what we're going through now when we think of the bigger picture the larger ramifications that could happen if we weren't to take such drastic measures now just this morning. I needed to take my ten year. Old to the pediatrician. He's been sick. He's been out of school. We haven't been worried that it's the corona virus because we haven't traveled been exposed and there still are former cases of the common cold and the flu and strep throat and the other typical stuff going around the corona. So I wasn't worried about that but he wasn't getting better and I needed to get him into a doctor. I waited in line on my phone for an hour. Just to be able to speak with my pediatrician's office so they could determine which of their locations I needed to go to. Because they've and I think that they have done an amazing job they have one location specifically designated for any respiratory issues. And because my son did have a cough than he had to go to that clinic and they were keeping their other locations available to be infections and pin worm and regular immunizations and well child visits and all of the other kind of standard stuff and so do to the corona virus. It was a bit of an ordeal to get to a doctor this morning not near. I am not complaining because not near as much an ordeal as it could be six months from now if I did have a seriously. Sick child was severely limited. What if I had to wait days for my child to be able to see a doctor? What if we had to wait weeks for our loved one to be able to get any kind of medical treatment? I heard today of a family planning a funeral. The other league grandma had passed away of natural causes but they aren't sure what to do about holding a funeral. Do they go ahead and have it and have everyone gathered together or do they wait a little while and then do a memorial celebrating her life and I was thinking you have? Those are hard decisions right now but months from now. How many more funerals could we be planning or? Would we not be able to attend? How many loved ones would we be burying without being able to do any kind of gathering and any kind of a memorial because up to now it has been the elderly who have been at the highest risk with the corona virus? It does put it into perspective. Doesn't it the missed concerts? The missed math competitions. Those things are hard. They are a little hard but they're doable and they're not near as hard as what we will be doing what we would be doing months from now. If we didn't choose to do the little hard now okay. Number three and final perspective. Final approach that you can take when having a discussion with family about Kobe. Nineteen is to ask them to consider the alternatives. Again this is one of my favorite nifty tools. I pull out of my back pocket. All the time is inviting kids to consider the alternatives when perhaps if there are complaining about what. I'm serving for dinner I can say oh. You don't have to eat this you can eat dog food or no. You don't have to eat that. You can eat the leftover tuna fish casserole. That's three weeks old and the fridge or that's okay. You don't have to eat that you can go ahead and go to bed and not eat. Just help. Invite them to consider alternatives. Because when it seems like your current option is so bad. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of what other alternatives are available and then your current options starts looking a little bit better same thing with chores. If kids complain about cleaning their room. Then I say you don't have to clean your room. Filled outside really needs that this was pulled out of it. I got this from my piano teacher growing up. If her kids complained about practicing piano or about cleaning their rooms she would say. Oh you can clean the attic or you can clean the basement because nobody wanted to do that. So when the current options looking pretty bleak just a little reminder what the alternatives are and. I do think this is what our healthcare providers are trying to do at this time is watch and learn from countries to see how they've handled and how they've reacted to their cases of Corona Virus Hong Kong and Singapore have done an amazing job instigating similar things of voluntary closures. Both Hong Kong and Singapore were some of the very first countries. Hit some of the earliest documented cases of cove nineteen and they currently. Today don't have any more than two hundred cases each so they've really been able to keep it in check. Compared to for example South Korea who is approaching eight thousand cases so just a little perspective on. Yeah this is hard right now. But what are the alternatives? We can do this right now or a few months from now we will have to completely stay inside no friends over no small group gatherings no seeing grandma and GRANDPA whatsoever a lot of possible catastrophes in hospitals in with the healthcare. And this isn't to be gloom-and-doom this is about trying to gather facts. Make observations and make the best possible proactive decisions and to finish the episode. Today I want to leave with what I think is a really interesting perspective. And that is this amazing opportunity. We've been given to put life on Pause. We have been given an unexpected pocket of time kind of bonus time. It's a little bit like having Christmas vacation. But we don't have to put up any decorations or shop for presence or bake neighbor treats it can be a really amazing time to ponder to reconnect to recharge. It's interesting because it coincides with. My church is soon to be celebrating. That two hundred year since the commemorative event began the religion the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And it's fascinating to me that it's coinciding with this time. I'm going to do a podcast episode about next week so I won't go into a lot of detail about it other than to say we can go into this mandatory pause frenzied and fearful and resentful grumpy and angry and placing blame on all the evil political conspiring devils. Who connived this virus to ruin our lives that is a possible thought that is a possible mindset or we can go into this pause open and grateful and peaceful and take advantage of this time to reconnect. I just have to say I'm going to get a little spiritual here. I just wonder if God if the universe has something really important to tell the world right now and that the best way to do it is to just put everybody on pause everybody except the poor hospital medical people who are working around the clock to figure out testing and cures. But for the rest of us you know being able to put things on pause for a little while so that maybe will slow down and we won't have soccer games to be loud and Cherif for. We won't have all the events that we need to be on our cars driving to and maybe that will give us just a little extra time and space to listen. And I'm Kinda curious what's going to happen but in any case it is all up to us the mindset that we'd choose in approaching what is happening especially MOMS. We are the thermostats for the emotions of our family. We set the emotional gauge. And if we're fearful they will be fearful if we are angry and resentful and grumpy. Our families will be angry and grumpy and resentful so I hope that talking about this and looking at some of the different perspectives has been helpful and if nothing else. I hope this episode has given you some new perspective. I'm Malia Warner. Thank you for joining me on this episode. I won't be back next week for another episode of the power. Podcast and Kelvin stay. Well stay healthy. Stay happy go by.