"Future Man" with Riki Lindhome


Welcome to the endless honeymoon. Podcast recording in the day for perhaps the second time ever motions like you have to get dressed. Have to get dressed. Did i say that you're like that's what you're wearing your in your pajamas. Yeah but i put a for on and people can only see my face and neck so who cares. It's true you are pretty up close. I'm just saying who cares if you don't have clothes on anymore these days. We have an exciting day today. Because we have a special guest. I would say Not just a great comedian and a great person but also your primary creative partner and a great friend. You created another period with this person. That's true you guys did a three season run of one of the funniest shows on television. Well thanks noche. You're welcome. But i'm mostly talking about the jokes that ira ladies and gentlemen. Let's welcome our guest ricky lindholm. Hi hi hi ricky. Yes can you hear us. Hello using my friends little. Microphone thing but it made me have no sound. So you're not this. where can you hear me. I can hear you allow okay. We're in northern northern california. We're kind of worth sasquatch. Lives out no. I haven't but there is another family. That doesn't shower very much. So that's kind of similar. I haven't showered since saturday. But you know there's there's there's been a power outage in my building to the last day and a half. There's an outdoor shower here. And i do it every day because it's kind of the highlight to make really no. It's like super hot. And i'm take like these really long showers even though i know it's bad for like the water runs out here really easily but i just like to like let it pour down me and just hope that. No one's put a timer on how long i'm in there. You you live in the in the heart heart heart of hollywood. Maybe you should look into an outdoor shower the fun way to get discovered. I'm actually going to check into a hotel after this because of the power yet. They said minimum soon. It'll be as four pm and it's been since yesterday morning at like seven am. And i'm like. I just need like a shower. And i don't know i met the point now with quarantine and the pandemic where it's like. I can't take another thing you know. It's like okay. I can i. You know i can deal with life like this. But then i can't also pile on that. I don't have power reflect. what have you been doing through the through the pandemic. what has been your routine right every day. That's what i'm saying. She's one of those doing the productive corentin anything else so he did not meet like i'm eating alone in. It's like it sort of went from feeling low. Metoo feeling like kinda great. I don't know. I've crossed like when i used to come to your house all the time to like. Sit in your yard like a mask i yeah. I've sort of yeah. I'm kind of good now. it's weird. I'm just feeling like creative. You're saying you're kind of that. You don't wanna come over anymore and sydney on i'm over. I'm over my lonely vest. Well you. We're very little. So if i hear you correctly ricky. It sounds like you don't want to have tea in our front yard anymore. I do once. You're back i just don't need it like i needed it before. And then let me ask you this. How much longer could you deal with us. Not going to restaurants. I think until two thousand twenty two another full year. I can do another year of this. I think well you know how you said you cross. You know you said you crossed over and now you're in a zone of acceptance. Do you think you could cross over and again and never be able to come back into like total like like only wanting to live alone and be a quarantine like the quarantines over and you're like my tower writing. I don't need power either. I think you have to get a little weird to make yourself happy during the quarantine gotten a little weird so maybe i could stay their permanently. I don't know i hope not. I miss restaurants. I did too. I missed someone caring for my child. That's so it's like people have way too much time alone loner way too much time together. I don't know anyone who has an ideal situation like when we got our false positive tests. We were quarantined. In this victorian house in alta dina. What's alameda outside of the bay area thinking positive and i'm just like letting our kids just run around the dining room. She's been sitting in a car for six hours. You know some kind of encouraging her to like run around a little bit and then she falls on her face and starts bleeding. And i'm just like okay. I can deal with this positive now. I have the corona virus. Can i also deal with leading first time. So it's just like the quarantine just adds this level and like we didn't end up having having the coronavirus still like everything post so we're telling our listeners. Tricky but everything piling. On like that i would. That would have been crazy. I've such a small pot. I'd be very surprised. If i got it will you. Do you have a pod. I haven't take us through your pod advocacy. You're you don't have to name names but describe the tentacles of it so there's three people it's my best friend from college in his boyfriend and then a person that i'm working with that's it and do they have tentacles that extend outward from them. No they don't so the loop the loop has been closed. It's been closed. It's a close live weight so the person you're working with doesn't have a best friend from college and his boyfriend nelson that person is. That's the loneliest person in the pod. That person could hang out with the best friend. Oh do they hang out. He's been invited us declined. I'm even more about this guy introvert you know. This is kind of a peak era for introverts but it also makes me realize like i talked to mostly moms just because a lot of the people that you know. I'm looking to for like what are you doing. I want to know what other people are doing their kids. But i haven't talked to a lot of friends who have these small pods. But what are single people supposed to be doing oh. I don't think anybody knows what anyone supposed to be doing. Everybody's kinda like trying their best to figure out something that won't make them go mentally insane. I want a friend pod. Well it's made me. She joined up with this introvert. And this gay couple and ricky. So do you think that the people who are who are going out to restaurants in in in like they're like in maybe pods or i i don't i don't know how that's always confusing me. I don't know if it's i think it's different people because it feels like rest outdoor dining would feel safe if you're if you're if it was just pod you know like you're in your pod but you mean sitting next to fifteen other pods who the fuck knows who goes on right. But they're lifting restrictions. I was just talking to todd berry. And he said in new york. It feels even more dangerous. Because you're in these outdoor like umbrellas over you that feel like you know like those plastic containers around. You almost feels like you could get worse sitting in one of those after someone you get your covey atelli or whatever topic. Patient bubble him. I went to new york humber at all. Those restaurants were packed. Those little outdoor things off. You don't need to restaurants any longer. The stay at home order has been lifted for the state of california as it completely. Today's okay dude. Ricky did you not hear. We're back here. But i'm happy in my. I'm happy in my pod. I just i just don't want to get the coronavirus i'm just i just don't need it. I just don't care about restaurants enough to risk it will rookie. Our experience with the coronavirus is. It's not that big of a deal. You get it and then two days later you don't you really don't have it so if i could recommend it. We were so scared. And like i was like. Oh my god. I've given it to my daughter. It was because we went in for that reto because like moshe ranan in his end. Nine five mask to pick up to burritos. There was one other person in the burrito shop but most did say he was standing too close to him and then my friends are texting me and the one friend was like yeah. I heard the new variant is even worse for kids and so it's like it was just horrifying horrifying. Today's because i do think there are still a lot of unknowns rookie. What's your work ethic. I okay ricky. Every day basically. I kind of basically right from ten to four. I have. I have nothing else to do. I just have nothing. I like and then like usually all like workout or something and then i'll like drink a glass of wine and watch a movie. That's kind of what i do every day. I just don't have like it's the weirdest thing when every other actions taken away like i just got like i'm a productive person to begin with and this is just amplified it. It's all. it's the only thing that makes me happy ricky. You know it's funny about that. Is that schedule. That you just described doesn't seem that off to like what we did when we were writing another period or when you're working on something right right basically kept the same schedule. I just don't see people at night. Have you heard about the internet because if you want no i mean if you want something that will keep you busy and keep you distracted without having to do all the work the internet. There's apparently a lot of stuff on there and information. Yeah actually ricky. I have a question now because you are very productive person. One of the most productive people i know i probably wouldn't even have a show on the air if it weren't for ricky because she is very productive and i am a procrastinator. But how do you. And i know you've read a lot of books about how the mind works. How how do you discipline yourself to not just like scroll through instagram all day. How does the mind work like. Honestly it's if you sit in an apartment alone for a year you will start working like it's like. This is not true. Ricky your experiences the opposite of universal so many people are sitting in their apartments going looking at their computer going. Wait a minute. I've had nine months off. And i haven't done anything. What is wrong with my brain. No i think that. I think that your experiences somewhat unique. I think that you are a productive person. And so your quarantine reaction has been productivity. But i think that yeah. A lot of people are going are going way. I should have written five novels. That's how much time i've had off. And all i did was play. You know gears of war for a year. Well here's the good news you have till twenty twenty two. That's right over to like get it together. An office find some sort of i don't know what to do with kids but If you are alone and you feel like there's no excuse you don't have a lot of like time sucks right. Go to go to go to a crowded italian restaurant. Get into clear bubble. No i was talking more about you know. Do things like learn the g. core. Do the thing that you want to do because i think we have a good at least six to eight months left if not a year at what. I think i've always wanted to write a broadway musical. And so that's what i'm doing and it's just like inspiring and fun. I never had time before. You're right now. That i think of everybody out there. That isn't with a romantic partner. Right now is writing a broadway music in the same thing as me. No rookie. Year very inspiring. And that's why. I actually really wanted to do the show because i feel like. She's ricky's the person. I turn to for advice. Probably the most gives you great friend advice. She gives me great everything advice. But i mean she's your friend and gives you all right and ricky. You have this great capacity like for listening. She's always she really listens to you. Which is interesting because she has so much. Energy left her projects but she doesn't have to listen to anyone else. That's the thing. There's a long total blake. I get really excited when someone calls me. Okay well let's let's take a call. Mosier what do you think ricky. We need your expert advice expertise and let's make a call. Hey y'all most would you say my hair is looking it really. Is you know what. Because i use function of beauty. Hair care products like shampoo and conditioner. And i just found out something very big. You never got your function of beauty bottle. We gotta get you some. Because i am telling you we've got very different hair right. My hair is very problematic. I'm afraid that racist. Nobody does have its issues. My hair is very fine. And so if i if i condition it weighs it down but if i wash it needs to be washed every day but then it gets really dry and frizzy right and i got that thick hair. That can nothing can possibly harm beautiful. Wouldn't make sense for us to use the same shampoo because we don't have the same hair that's why function beauty is so dope you go to their website. You take a little quiz. The there's fifty four trillion possible formations. They basically make shampoo. That will match. Your hair. formulations is. Yeah they like you take the hair quiz and then you find out. That's what i'm saying. Exactly you need in your hair makeup. What i'm saying making it look luscious. Literally what i did say so basically you gotta get it. I'm telling you smell so good. It feels so good. I've been using it for a while and the tasha. She's got herself some two toss. You should get this this. I'm going to i already. I already took my hair quiz. I'm waiting for it and function of beauty offers completely personalized formulas for body and skin care. So you can customize your beauty routine from herethe toe. I just did a whole profile. So i have all my stuff coming. I'm very excited. I'm excited to so you should be excited. As well. you go to function and beauty dot com slash honeymoon and take their quiz. Save twenty percent off your first order. Never buy off the shelf go to function a beauty dot com slash honeymoon to take your quiz and save twenty percent off your first order that applies to their full range of customers hair skin and body products function of beauty dot com slash honeymoon. To let them know. You heard it from our show and get twenty percents off your order. Hey do you feel that. In this pandemic your body is feeling more sluggish. Because you're not outside. Something's up right things. I definitely feel like. I dunno off physically and that's why it's an important time. Never been a better time to start taking a multivitamin. I started taking one from ritual. And i gotta tell you i feel. I'm feeling pretty. Good ritual is formulated with key nutrients including vitamin d. Three to help fill the gaps in the diet. Their fresh tasting delayed release. Capsules are designed to dissolve later in less sensitive areas of the stomach. So you can take them with or without food. They've got different formulations for women wants for men some teens ritual multivitamins are scientifically developed to help support different stages of life. Your multivitamins are delivered to your door. Every month with free shipping. Always you can start snooze or cancel your subscription at any time and if you don't love ritual within your first month they'll refund your first order you deserve to know what's in your multivitamin and that's why ritual so important because i've got completely traceable ingredients and that's why we are offering ritual to our listeners for ten percent off your first three months so visit ritual dot com slash honeymoon. And you can start your ritual today okay. Let's call noah in foster city. What state is that in california. There's no oh hey guys you know what's happening it's it is moshe. Casher natasha from the woods and our friend. Ricky lindell. how you guys doing good are you. What's up with their walls. Are you a kind of a psychopath or have you taken human life. Like what's your. I'm a sports fan. I'm from the bay area and so this is my own. I see yes so basically like in the like early. Twenty tends when my teams were really great. I basically put up every like full page newspaper clippings. They have kept it up there for decades. Yeah yeah i mean you fill up every piece of the wall and you think why bother taking down. I have a question d- when you take girls home do you let them see this wall. Yeah yeah yes i mean. This is my childhood bedroom. So i live Yeah i know we know now. Oh yeah okay. it's not like i'm bringing girls home these days anyway right so let me ask you. How many bottle caps have left to collect before you can get the louisville. Slugger he's cute. You're very sophisticated. How your body and turtleneck are very sophisticated but you're your wall is very boy scout this. I'm twenty to twelve bedroom. That's okay so no help you. Because i feel like oh. I think we could solve it actually wallpaper or paint honestly but definitely get rid of the memorabilia. Put them into scrapbooks. Okay so a few months ago over the summer. I match at this girl on tender and we you know gone along and moved it over snapchat snapchat back and forth you know just pictures basic basic stuff but it all just kind of plateaued from there like we. We've been kind of flirting in and and whatnot. But i know this is a very modern problem. We know yeah. I just like you're like it was slowly escalating it. It did go from tinder to snapchat but we never got to take talk phase. We never took it to that next level. We never google chat it. So what exactly do we do here. I know that's the that's the thing. I mean you would start chatting you would do. I guess these days because incorporate different right what do you think happened. I mean i think both of us are interest levels remain low but nobody had nobody. Nobody had the balls to take it to the next level. We're way why would you take it to the next level if your interest level was low. It's it's like we've there's since we're in quarantine we can't really meet up. We can't really do anything and so nobody nobody's may i hesitate to call it a relationship because we're like snap buddies. I would say not. There's like this attach. I know it's not a relationship definitely not a relationship but there's like there's attachment but no substance you know and so i'm trying to figure out the best way to break this kind of thing off because i think after a few months it's too late to ghost. It's too late to just be like by deal. I think you should try to zoom with her and if she says she doesn't zoom with you than it's over 'cause then she's like giving you definitive idea that she doesn't that she's her. She's confirmed her interest. Level is also and so she wants him with you that it's over naturally and then if she will you can see if you like her. I thought you were gonna say if she wills them with you. You can break up exactly. But i do like that idea because you got to take a risk. That's your. I think i do need to to to to move in one direction of the other because it's been it's been this plateau thing for so long where it's i think it's been almost too long for it to be like the first zooming of like. Hey so what are your interests like. I let this. It's gotten out of hand and hasn't left handed the same point if you know what i mean like. It's been honestly since the summer that we've been just doing like snap snap back and forth and so i feel like it's too long to say like let's break the ice and say okay. So what's your. What kind of music do you was. Nothing is too long. Nothing is too long for anything but i will say that my brother and his wife now met i think their first date was watching saved by the bell that they remembered from their childhood over zoom. So like i do think like you could come up with something fun to do over zoom. That's not like an interview like. Hey do you wanna watch and it can be short. But if she says no then you'd have your answer and if she says yes maybe it would be fun but i think you guys are both missing. I think what the correct me if i'm wrong. Noah noah saying which is. He's no longer interested. He feels like he's been snapping with this girl for too long to just stop altogether. He wants out from a relationship that never developed but doesn't know how to break something. That's so unimportant but yet you just slightly too important to just be like i'll never talk to you again. Yeah because you want to be a good guy and he made it out a little like take longer to write back like everyone knows what that. You're like an expert in that right ricky. Literally you wrote the. You wrote the song on it do that. That's your advice. Watch the video to garfunkel not fade away and then literally follow the advice given in that song right. Yeah i'm trying. I'm trying to find a way out. That's not that's not. Just ghosting not just trying to fade away. Like i need to find a way to broach. The conversation i know is this. So cowardly i'm trying to broach the conversation of like so. Let's actually talk about what we've got going here. Oh you're you're you're trying to have a state of the union address in the hopes that she will also say she'll say you know what this isn't going anywhere and you won't have to do the work of actually the uncomfortable conversation. Yeah yeah exactly. I kind of think ricky's right. If you just start slowly receding rather than stopping you you take two weeks to write back and then you take three weeks to write back and then eventually this will fade. Away is to look noah in my day these kind of relationships they would take place over. Aol instant messenger or on. Geo cities or on yahoo personals. And the same kind of thing would happen. You'd have these long term relationships with people that you've never met but the beauty of that is like you don't really owe them emotional fidelity because like there's a real world out there and ricky's that kind of what you're saying just a slow receding not up ghosting. But what's what's less than a ghost. What is a ghost. What's a cousin of a ghost like a is it like a ghoul. Yeah like a creepy by just a spirit friend level where she doesn't expect to hear that yeah. The thing is that the stakes are so low to begin with that. I feel like they're like i totally could just ghost. I i could say we live like fifty miles a partly. It's not like we're re. We're not gonna meet in person. Oh i know. I haven't quick and easy. Tell her you met someone. Oh yeah. I don't make something up. Yeah why just by lie you say why not. It's like the easiest like i met. I met someone. And then it'll be like oh i have an idea. I have an idea. Spend the next two weeks trying to meet someone and then it won't be a lie when you tell her you've met someone and then also your to in your head about this noah who cares this relationship you care about you should start putting your energy towards something that's like actually you know maybe even making a list of what you want in a partner or finding some new partners or you know just make you know challenging yourself to take some risks with girls. I think that ricky is on something. And i think maybe you could slowly start replacing the pictures behind you with pictures of christy turlington christy turlington. And she's a supermodel from the nineties and then slowly and then take a snap of yourself. And say i met someone. And it'll be all photos of christy turlington and she won't know who it is. 'cause she's you're age so she'll she's a person that you're dating and you just be like by the way is that. Ah let's say pence is that say is there a is there a sportsperson eight pence right hunter on there. I would write hunter pence. I would write hunter pants the baseball player up there if i were all star the all star voting campaign. I'm trust me. I'm not a republican. Just take it down honey right no. I just think it's nice to read hunter pence the baseball player. Not mike pence vice president right all of that. Okay well hopefully. We helped you not here so much. I love the don't want to hurt this business. Like you're a good guy and he definitely gonna meet someone who your interest levels higher end in. You're going to throw them right. Like i loved it. You care enough to call in rations. I think that's really sweet and most people don't have much to do it. Because i feel like since quarantine being single like dating has been almost re purposed. Where like you can only really Text with people online. It's it's not like like. I'm swiping on tinder and bumbling all these places and like saying you're not really looking for someone to meet up with so like because you can't really meet up with people so you really just looking for like a connection of someone to pay attention to you and be attracted to you in kind of basic sense so like what this kind of snapchat thing has done for me is basically just like it's a it's a tiny little endorphin rush of knowing that somebody is paying attention to me because there's some relation these days but of course after that makes total sense. It's got really boring. Yeah and the thing is i. I've i've my have been not cycling through but like meeting other girls and snapchat with them in this in this in this weird way but keeping this but staying with this this this first girl who i guess. I can't seem to get rid of. Because i don't have the balls to do it. Well i think that makes sense what you're saying and i think that one of the weird things about the quarantine is the internet was already slowly creeping ricky natasha and all of the generation where we didn't have the internet when we were young young and then we slowly had the internet and your more of the generation where you've had it your whole life right when i was twenty two. I didn't have a laptop. I don't think twenty two. i don't think so. I think i'd any rate we didn't have cell phones when we were young. You know like so. We've slowly our generation in particular slowly. Watch the internet kind of like tangle itself into our lives and like the the key and we already were feeling the encroachment of the internet that the online world in the real world becoming kind of blurred and the quarantine is like rushed those processes forward. So it's like there really isn't any more difference between the internet and real life dating even dating. The most inner per- in-person interface theoretically now is just a total digital a theory. So it's not like noah your trip and why would you care. You don't even know this girl. It's just a snapchat buddy. There's something more about that relationship than there would have been five years ago especially during the quarantine so i think that that's fair. She's a real relationship even though in a bazaar digital frame and you owe her a little bit more than just some random person that you're like chatting with online and a slow receding. I think is an okay thing to do. Yeah yeah i mean. I think this the slow received my might be my way to go. It doesn't have to be totally over. You can chat with their every once in a while. Total if you are friends with her. Yeah it's it's almost become like. I don't wanna say it feels like a chore to constantly respond to her but it's like it it's no we get it. You're not into her so no. There's never a good time to do a bad thing. You have to do it. You have to figure it out you have to just put it out there and you have to be kind of a not a nice guy and you have to meet someone else like mike pence or hunter pins and you need to get a new backdrop directly you do. We agree okay. Do you wanna ask us something else. Honestly this is what. I came on to talk about and i feel like i have have advanced in my progression of knowing what to do very sweet. I hope i agree with years. You're a nice guy. You're one of the nice guys and that makes me more concerned but that that also makes you more like that's what i wanted from a partner you know. And that's why. I married moshe because he is like that. And i feel like that's like at a premium and people people can tell and so you know. I think that you have a great relationship in your future. Because that's such a sought after quality. Well thank you the best of luck to you. Know this quarantine will end soon and you'll get back to being rejected in person can't wait can't all by noah nice talking to you too. I think that was interesting to me. Because he's he is experiencing what were experiencing from a slightly more bird's eye view which is a relationship like that it's simultaneously more than meaningless but less than meaningful. and so. You're like god. A barely deserves a break-up but it also would be rude to not break up like how do you manage these digital weird digital relationships. I just feel like everyone kind of knows. What's what these days like. I think he started to write back to her less. She would term interest to someone right or is she asking fourteen or she asked him straight out and then you'd have to tell her and she already. You're asking someone you already know. There did you ricky. Have you had or natasha. have you. Had those kind of bizarre internet Are interface was weird because there was less technology but these relationships where it's like you'd email or im back and forth for for a year and never meet the person and then slowly just they leave your life and you're like why was i bothering what was did you have any of those i never had. That's weird no that's weird. I don't think it's weird. I think i never met them. Yeah i had a lot of different things like that. Where people that i would. I had found in like some corner of the internet. We were like we were. We started flirting. But then eventually it was like well. This person lives in la. And i am in the bay area or ohio and then we just sort of keep communicating but there was no sort of end game. I had no. I think i'm older talking about when i was like twelve thirteen years old. No nothing now. Oh maybe fifteen sixty said actual fuck off. Because i also feel like i. I was definitely never meeting people online. Maybe it's weirder. I don't know. I just feel looking for people online but i also went out all the time i went out either to a comedy show to a music event to if i'm talking when we were teenagers young teenagers not like when we were cool. Well then i was older than you. And i didn't have the internet right now. Dial up but it was like charged you by the minute like i would. I would like making a long distance call back. I don't think i would have been allowed to have a chat room buddy. I had a girlfriend. That's very patronizing. Your dad's kind of like charged by me. No i deserve to be patronized do for having a digital friends. There were even dating apps. No but i feel like i'm not alone in this. I feel like that's a thing like right when the internet hit. We were also enamored of it that we started just going on and been like who are you what. Maybe that's just me. We didn't have a home computer. And when i was in college the first year i remember having to go to computer lab i i had a girlfriend when i was young. But not a girlfriend this is. I don't know if i've told this story before on this podcast but is very funny. I was like an identity crisis white person that thought he was black and i got set up with an identity crisis white person that she was mexican and she. She lived in san francisco and i lived in oakland. That's not far. It's fifteen minute bart ride and we would call and text and chat on the internet and then we would dedicate oldies to each other on the oldies station. Like this one goes out to cecilia. In the mission district. In san francisco it's smokey robinson's tracks of my tears. We would literally call in request. We'd never met we just. It was just like to identity crisis west side story or is never meeting and then we broke up and it just nothing came of it. It's like you're like practicing romance. We take one more call. Hello honeymooners just wanna make sure you get your towel. I just washed my towel. For the fifth time. It is more silky and more luxuriant it didn't fade at all. I've been taking this towel to the beach. I've been using it every time. I take an outdoor shower. Which is every day were in the woods. I cannot recommend this towel enough. What he alice honeymoon ties only piece of merge march. I didn't wanna have merchants at. If we're gonna do march. I want to have the perfect thing that everybody needs. We don't need more shit but you know what everybody needs a towel. You keep it in your car. You always have to tell you can put you can put the dog on it. You can put your kid on it you. I've been wiping shit off my kid and then just kind of asked to wash it. You just kind of like you know Put it out the the rv shaking your rv. The point is we have merchants beautiful endless honeymoon podcast beach towel covered in hearts and a nice little logo. It's thick it's nice and the best part of all all of the profits from the sale of this towel. Go directly to the surfrider foundation and one of my favorite favorite active community activism organizations. Because what they do. Is they help the ocean and they help clean up beaches. They helped the surf and the coast line and they do unbelievable. Work even get this towel. Cleanup plastic yeah. They cleaned plastic. They do beach cleanups. I've been on a surfrider foundation beats cleanup before and it's awesome. You're just taking trash off to the beach so do a direct donation to them. But you don't and you don't have to pick trash up from the beach to feel good. Just have your nice towel and feel like you did something. We've already made a few thousand dollars for this last week with lies. Listen can take tell. Yeah like go to the beach so one of the beach cleanup days and you can fashion. You're into a sack and put beach trash in it and you can double your contribution. Something like ten of them. Just have them as each day. That's a great idea to our house. i love it. Okay well listen you can get yours by going to honeyman. Can i say so. Unless i go ahead. And endless honeymoon pod dot com slash shop. That's right endless. Loophole sorry motion. But there's another jew in my life. I actually have a new co host. It's true it's me. Dan levy from chelsea leyland. Dan levy and i have a new show on. Hdtv discovery plus Season two comedians on couches Unfiltered we are making fun of house hunters with our comedian friends right then very fun this season. We have seth rogan alley juan margaret. Show whitney cummings. John mullany blake griffin and chelsea brady. Do i still have sex with unitas or does dan do that to actually now can only have sex with chelsea very strict Okay so yeah. So watch it january fourth. I think you can stream everything then you you can watch all the episodes you it okay. Now we're going to call jamie in washington dc. Oh wow it's a it's a two man day hello jamie. You're the second man we've spoken to. Today i would say our primary advice. Caller is a nineteen year old girl. And the second handsome young bloke that we've found today let's say good to be here. Thank you so much really excited about this. It's me moshe at or its main tasha a my husband moshe and our friend. Ricky lynn home. Yes hi i'm big fan. Great great to meet all of you. Virtually nice meeting you too quick question. You're in dc. How how was rushing the capital last week. Did you feel alive or crazy for you. I i mean we were just watching it on. Tv like oh that's near school or you weren't there no thank god We i yeah not a patriot. I guess okay moesha's trying to make it seem like like your One of the rabble rouse. That's throat natasha. That's what i'm trying to do. So jamie you're in dc. You've got an obama poster at your shoulder you are. What's what do you wanna deal. Are you in politics. No so i am a college senior And after graduation. I'm going to be a software engineer and i'm moving to new york. Cool all right all right. So how can we help you. So i've been in a relationship for two years now with my girlfriend And it's going really really well but After graduation she's planning to move to los angeles to try and become director on whereas i'm going to be in new york as a software engineer. So we've been trying to navigate. That's gonna work out whether one of us will have to compromise whether or just well. we'll have to keep things going on. And so i'd love some advice on navigating those conversations or decisions let me just pits real quick that this could be a fantastic romantic comedy. She could direct you know. I mean compelling stuff. She's a director. You're a software engineer. The it rights itself dude right right. Have you guys live together. We have So he moved in for last semester She took the semester off. And i was living in an apartment off campus and she lived with me for three months. Wow this is tax. Because i like if you you go to. I mean not to be too harsh. But i feel like if you guys go to different cities. It's not gonna work out. Yeah i mean we've done a lot of long like but especially if you guys are both at the beginning of your careers and and that takes the most energy that you've ever needed like that's what really is hard about being ambitious you know. And that's why it's very smart. Sometimes wait to have a family and wait to. Have you know you want to kind of be travelling light to make your dreams come true if room through smart or if like family is like your main goal then that's different and you guys should compromise for each other to build the family that you know that you want to have with her. I guess yeah. Do you have a job end up in new york or you just hoping to get one. I have a job lined up. So i started in september. You go into the office or is it going to be digital They still haven't told us I i think the plan is to be going into the office. They'll yes. I have thought ricky where you look. You thought you thought. I was just thinking that advantage of the pandemic is everything's on zoom right now so like conceivably one of you guys could try to start your career on the other coast. You know. it's maybe especially her especially new york like if she's getting. But i don't know i i know you're making a good point ricky. It's like it's a funny time to be like. I'm sorry. I just have to go to la to make it as a director. I've got to get out there. It's like we mean out there there is no out there. You're just going sitting in an apartment in la. Just wanna get up three hours earlier and try and do some zooms from our apartment in new york but there might be some resentment if one goes to the race and tries to do it on zoom. So one thing you could do is just say like why. Don't we just like do our thing and we'll check in six months and talk to each other as much as we want because part of it you have to kind of believe his fate in a way you know like. Are you guys meant to be together. Aren't you well. I think that's really smart. And i have said on this podcast a lot before. I think a lot of the times by the time people call in here. Not that people really turn to us for like. You're my only hope because we are a comedy. Podcast i get it. You'd go to a therapist had real problems. But by the time people call in i would say a high percentage of them kind of somewhere in their gut already knows the answer. They just want to say it out loud and have somebody else kind of acknowledged. Reality and like the impression i'm getting. Is that you kind of know that the right thing for both of you to do is to strike out on your own and that you know being with somebody. The last two years of college translate into. I'm going to force this to work. We need to go have our own adventures and find what our lives are like. That's what i'm getting from you just in the five minutes. I've been talking to you and i don't think that that's the wrong take and there's an apple in relationships that are like you just have to have in common like this city. You wanna live in if you want children. There's a couple things like they have to be the same. You can't wanna live in different places. It's just it's only in. It's only a few things it seems like you wanna live in different places and the problem with Do you want to have children as you guys might not know yet. I didn't know. I wanted to have children till i was forty. So that's that's hard to beyond that like when you're twenty two twenty two twenty two twenty two and getting out of college and she's young too. It's like not to say that people don't stay together from that age because they definitely do natasha's best friends got together younger than that and they've been together forever but a lot of times. It's like well. I wanna go have a life and figure out adventures and make mistakes and not just do the adult choice of being with the person i love but i wanna like go out and fuck my life up and then find out what stories there are there. And i'm going to new york and you're going to la and maybe we'll reconvene in two years or maybe maybe we won't go there and you really can't live without her. Maybe i'll go to la right. Totally can live without her you. Yeah i think as of now we're both in it for as long as we can be But and we've done a decent amount of long distance just over breaks and stuff but We've kind of said yeah. We're both moving somewhere with no plans to reconvene ben or not sure what that means so sorry. That sounds very very difficult. I can just feel your heart break. I'm i'm really sorry. This sounds really like very tough. Yeah i it is But also rookie right but also it's sad and it's also really kind of exciting that you get to not only do you get to go have adventures but you get to allow this woman who care so much about to not be like emotionally entangled and held back from having the experience that she's supposed to have with her foray into adulthood and that's what they call. I mean that is that book. I was telling you about the road less traveled. We talked about it before. That's how it describes love actually love actually the greatest film that's how it describes the plot to love. Actually no that's what it describes a lot. Actually as is it's not the feeling you get. It's the desire for that person's well being above everything else. You want for the other person for them to be happy. And that's what you're allowing. I think for both yourself and the good news is she's going to l. a. And you know there's not a lot of people preying on young people moving to la trying to get get into the entertainment industry should be fine faithful. I think thanks for that. My heart son much lighter. No there's no safer place for a young aspirational woman in the entertainment industry than the heart. The belly of the los angeles. No problem so i mean. At least she just wants to be a director. That's like twelve percent safer not safe but it's just. It's a little better than wanting to be an actress. That's true okay. Well good luck honey. Seem like a good person. And and i'm actually excited for both your adventures sad as the start of the path might be. I think the the journey will be really fun for both of you. Thank you so much. I really really appreciate it. Meaning ill last week by moshe. What did our child p on today. The bed that's right the sheet and guess what it's okay because we got some awesome sheets from brooklyn and they don't have on them and they are awesome sheets. yeah. I love having nice sheets. It's so important to me. I brought our brooklyn cheats here to the woods to sleep in your father's a frame and it makes me feel so much better like i'll be sleeping. I'll i'll be sleeping in. And i'll have these like nice sheets to pull over my head You know we can like have sex and are nice sheets that our own. I kinda hate sleeping and other people's sheets. It just don't care as much i do. I like a nice she. I don't like a sheep. But the problem is when i look up. These high thread count sheets or whatever these really nice sheets. They're super expensive. I like brooklyn and it was started by a couple rich. And vicky who had been just like us they were trying to find beautiful homosexuals. Didn't cost a lot of money. They couldn't so they founded this company. It's a direct to consumer betting company. They take out the middleman of the store or the retailer so that you can get super high quality sheets without paying a premium. That's pretty cool. Brooklyn and has a variety of sheets colors patterns and materials to fit your needs and tastes brooklyn and has over fifty thousand five star reviews and counting there so confident that you'll love their products. They even offer a three hundred sixty five day money back guarantee and i have to tell you having nice sheets nice home things around you just little tiny luxuries at this moment in time it really does. Elevate your life so listen. We already told you that they were very affordable covenant with super high quality sheets. We wanna make it even more affordable for you just go to brooklyn and dot com and use the promo code honeymoon to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars or more. Plus free shipping b. r. o. k. l. i n. e. n. dot com and enter promo code honeymoon to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars or more plus free shipping brooklyn dot com and use promo code honeymoon at checkout. Get yourself some nice sheets. I know you've been saying a lot lately that you need a new vibrator company should go with Vibrators were you do. Yeah well let me recommend my favorite vibrator company it's called dame you like fly because they're made by women for women dame products is a woman founded company making toys projects that close the pleasure gap there developed and tested by real people. With real volvos in dame labs are engineered to bring your solo and coupled play to new heights so as we talked about on the show before we should always find out. What's right for us and not compromise on what's most important so if you need to get off get yourself vibrator that's right. They have great ones. Like the it's g spot vibrator it helps you. Discover your perfect spot inside and out it's made for exploring it's got a bulb that has really pleasant squish with a beak dirig- for targeted vibes on your vulva or or click clack clock squeaky clean torres because it features the strongest motor dame has to offer giving you a deep satisfying rumble. That can be adjusted to perfect pattern and speed their waterproof usb rechargeable. It's got a long lasting batteries. Whisper quiet it's a lot of fun. They've also got what they call the palm p. o. m. flexible or if bans to your needs so de-stress with palm go to dame products dot com slash honeymoon today for fifteen percent off and the best part is a dame offers hassle free returns within sixty days so your satisfaction is quite literally guaranteed dame products dot com slash honeymoon today for fifteen percent guy. I mean both of these boys. They were both so cute and sweet and almost identical yoho. I love those but jamie had a much better wall but it was a little. I gotta be honest like they were psychopathic and different ways. One one that's the only decoration you have is an obama poster right where you zoom to me. It's more that to me is in a way more concerning than the sports because like noah's was explosive. Oh my god what but then. You're like okay. Well you're sweet. Innocent that if i walked into a man's house that i was dating and it was just an obama poster. I'd be like oh you're like pretending. Urine okay person you're gonna carve me up like it's just one. Oh i love you know. I love obama. That's not close the blinds and lock the door. You know how bad comedian like member new over two young canadians houses how bad their rooms would be like. You know. these are like young dc. Guys they don't know how to decorate sir and they put into some weird frame them is broken all god. I just thought of something. You probably have if you live in. Dc and your bachelor. You probably have to put up some kind of posters something to let like girls. You know you're taking home know that you're like on the right side of on just over your. Yeah you probably. There's probably like a signifier right because there must be so many like young republicans moving there. Do you guys think fucks better in their prime trump or obama. I don't know dude you got okay. Looked trump is always in your head. Fuck putting your hatred for trump aside. No he has money in his flash think about what he was like in nineteen eighty three when he was doing coke at the At studio fifty four. He's got to have some skills right. I don't think so. I have to hard to picture like carrying about another person. And that's fair other people are with needs. You're on okay. That's fair the way he looks at michelle like yeah they he's cut. You're probably right. I am very confused. Yeah motion is implying. That trump has been is good in bed or has been asking by question. I may ask the questions that a lot of you liberals won't ask and i'm willing to go there. You have to know that exists does follow human beings to be. You're right ricky. You're totally right. Okay bill clinton or obama. Clinton the in their prime. You say clinton 'cause freak these a free. He likes to do freaky shit. Yeah and he's got that sexy voice and he probably whispers in your ear. The or hillary clinton or justice sotomayor. I don't know. I don't think this conversation is no longer productive. Clinton interesting like power. Fuck it yet. Because she got bill and she's got some dark. I think there could be some hidden. There did get bill because bill is like he was pretty. He seemed like a pretty eligible bachelor more more to the point. She didn't leave bill. So you're like what's really going on this family. Like is she like abil-. Yeah the intern. Go forward or what like what what was really happening right. Lovers like sort of you so like balanced and healthy and light such together women. That like i'm going. I'm going to go. Clinton won something weird ricky about the supreme court. My brother just told me Everyone on the supreme court is either jewish or catholic and that's been true pretty much exclusively for the last hundred years and for some weird reason. Those are the people that get nominated to the supreme court by. I don't really know but it's to everyone. Currently on the on the supreme court is jewish or catholic. Wow yeah i guess and then is it going through that. Who's who's under underrepresented. Protestants the most populous religious denomination in america. But i mean clinton muslims and hindus and stuff like that to but you're kind of like okay. well. I understand why that that access hasn't been granted protestants they run. They run the country. Maybe they can't be bothered. I can't be bothered. I'm sure they could be bothered. That weird bizarre takes. Who's the new name. What's the new lady. She's a very catholic. What's her name. Coney barrett wait is that her. I thought for a second was referencing cavs accuser and i was like no no no. I shouldn't just lane on the maximum. I wish her the best honestly. I wish her the best we'll ricky. That was so great. I really think you help them and they weren't very good. Say as a woman this this episode kind of made me excited to see like how how sweet these boys are. Yeah these are like nice guys like looking for real love and treating women like people. It seems hopeful. It does seem like maybe the era of like the toxic barbarian is a little over. You know how it'd be nice. I think not over. Obviously they still exist. But i feel like as the dominant culture i also feel like the era of like the meek like beta nerd is over like i think that coming into the next era is the kind of like masculine good man. I think that's the next. Hopefully the next allied the next version yet. But just but just like i felt when trump got elected. I said i think to commercial. I was like. Oh this is the end of the like nerd as a cultural like i. Yeah i'm proud. I'm a nerd and i'm proud. I was like this is a blow back to that and like i think like masculinity in a way that doesn't feel like you know the toxic is kind of like what's next. That'd be nice orca lumberjack. Who can write poetry that be nice. Well it it would it comes from a sensitivity and considering someone else and i think that men instinctually can sometimes be a little off putting because they're so filled to the brim with their testosterone. Were also with the with a social construct construction and programming. That says that their needs are so important. It's very easy. Like i started to realize thinking about this stuff. Unless you're the men and women are locked into the same cycle often. It's like men. Are the aggressors in the cycle but women are also dancing. The dance where it's like men's need paramount men. Sexualities about getting women's sexuality is about allowing everybody's kind of locked in this. Yeah just filling. Everybody's kind of locked in this same like oppressive stupid dance. And i sort of feel like young. People are kind of deprogramming. Do think. Yeah because even like the other night we were talking about like you know i. I always feel weird like initiating a kiss you. Because like i just feel like my whole life i was like. Oh i'm going to be pursued. I am a woman. And so i'm not going to pursue man but you know maybe that that's just like something that actually was literally. My mother told me she was like. You're not to call boys. You are not to let me. She told you that it was definitely on that. That was my programming. Yeah and i was always like you more than what they have to like you more than you like them or it's not gonna work but it was crazy. Why would you even want. Why don't you want someone that you don't like as much like the bill but it is interesting. Also seeing the twenty two year olds. He asked for advice. Because they're so innocent like they have yet to data sociopath they yet they haven't been through the cycle like like. Why are they so great already. You're forty anyone. You date has already dated a sociopath. They've already dated like they've already been through like small much pain that it is like a nicer level. There's a nicer baseline now than when i was totally like everyone's been through it and it's just like they don't want it they don't wanna go through anymore they just want to like see Work and then or not. That's that's totally. That's totally true and fascinating and also when you are the first time you do data sociopath. Your experience level is so low. You're not aware of what's happening and you're like oh are people just. Is this normal as this. How you're supposed to be treated and it takes you a long time to go. Oh no wait. This is a cab not forget that. Sociopaths are highly intelligent and can figure out how to manipulate you. So when i've dated them when i was really young they would start like messing with my head you know and then they start degrading your confidence and then you don't know which way is up or what you're doing and then you get like attached to them and what you're married to them in your trailer maybe you'll have different world and i would argue maybe a better world then deal totally right. You're still like vulnerable to the stuff in the afterwards you do it is you are kind of but you're also like you don't waste your time on garbage. Why sometimes i think that's true. That's why sometimes. I do think there's some wisdom it's not for me but there's some wisdom to this idea where it's like no. You shouldn't just marry the first person you fall for because like there's so much more Innocence and lack of callousness. If you haven't fucked fifty people one hundred people then you're not going to go like well. This is boring ever. You're going to be like this is sex. Wow cool. I love sex and emotionally. That's sort of not forget. Sociopaths can fuck yeah they can and they have motorhomes how you found out like one day that they were like in one moment where they relate everything on you. I had that happen whenever and they were different per what happened. The he just like went out for a cup of coffee came home and was a different human with like a different reality. And i was like i didn't know what was going when i didn't know what was going on. How do you interpret that. Do you think like a like he was a monster. The whole time or that he had a psychic break on the walk. I'm not sure. I think amounts the whole time. I think you dislike was like playing relationship and then was like relationship now. I'm going to be this thing and the news like and then was like totally over our whole thing. The second that happened like the second switched. She was like onto a new life. Never thought about me again. I believe that truly scary. That is so scary. I mean in a weird way. It's kind of like the idea like he. Did you a favor letting you know who really was. Oh total in an with us this break up because it was like whoa. This man's a monster. And so i never wanted it back. You like better than him going for a walk one day. Ten years into your marriage and coming back and be like i'm going to kill you. Yeah well i. I feel very hopeful for this new generation. Because i do think that programming is part of it too. I think that you know just thinking that you can ask out a guy or if your guy you can be more sensitive and really you know show show that. I don't know they did seem sweet to a two man kinda day. I'm i can't wait to see your broadway show ricky whatever. It is for probably four years. But it's okay. Also it's like broadway like what is your prediction. What happens do is there any have you. Do you have any information. Like how is broadway going to stay. God ms linda shows but people aren't going to be going until summer right now. I'm in my apartment. Like i have. They're not letting me now. I have no idea. They're not awaiting the arrival of all. No i know. I'm just trying to think like even like earner brain like what do you think can be years. Those seats are so close together. Those theaters are stolen. God imagine that. Imagine being comedy in a in an old squad but it's everyone's touching both sides. Oh well i'll tell you what. Their solutions are not going to be good for performing which are spacing out seats and really want him crammed together because that walls between the performer in the audience literally. The fourth wall sucks. Well you know what maybe they'll also turn your musical into a movie. I should've been becton. Flex all look look. We're all kicking ourselves for not investing in plexiglas. That's all we've all been thinking about. Well ricky i feel like we've kept you long enough. These are your prime working hours. I know so. Thank you for joining me. Okay we'll see you for t very sin. Okay thanks rookie by well tosh. I know you're feeling excited about the future man. But i think i'm doing pretty good for the past man. You are and the reason that i am doing so well. Yeah because i found somebody who. I love me love. Yeah i love it here is trying to take the lead o go for i love you. Do a little more aggressive. I love you. Oh well i love you too.

Coming up next