Best Of: How To Deal With Self Doubt
The. Hey, my friends it's Brennan Bouchard and welcome to a best of edition of the Brendan show. These best of episodes feature training that I have done live sometimes online to tens of thousands of people or live on stage. Or I was speaking on some sages across the world, or these might be some of my monthly training programs and highlights of those that I do every single month with our monthly students. So I know you're gonna really enjoy these because these are a little bit more of a deep dive look at some of my training as a personal and professional development trainer. I focused so much on helping find that deeper level of motivation and start practicing some of those high performance habits will you hear me talk about many of those concepts in these special episodes here. These are my best of trainings only and exclusively right here on the Brennan show. So I hope you enjoyed the please know that as you hear me speak in many of these you'll hear me reference something because sometimes all have been training live or on video or on stage or through broadcast. You might not be able to see something. I'm sue. Jesting or motion to or maybe even drawing out on on a flip chart or motion towards on presentation. But you'll get the gist of it. So make sure you bust journal take some good notes here because this is really valuable insights on the mindset of the strategy that you need to Dopp in order to improve your life. And if you want to go and get more content like this but much more deeper and have more of an interactive relationship with me in this type of training. Make sure you join our high performance monthly training program. That's our monthly subscription program. Where I go live with you. And our high performance students every single month, and I train on a new topic or new piece of research that we've created from the high performance institute, and I train on that. And then I do Kyun a and actual live coaching and interactive coaching with people every single month that's called high performance monthly and you can access it at Brendan dot com. Forward slash monthly. That's Brennan com. Forward slash monthly B R E N D O N dot com Ford slash monthly to get deeper dive training similar to this. So if you like this, you would love that training program. But without further ado, let's jump in right now to one of the Brennan shows best of trainings. How do I deal with self doubt? Because everybody's got it and at some point as conscious mature people and people who want to see the next level. We gotta deal with it. And once and for all we have to understand it and beat it on a recurring basis. Self-doubt is okay. If it's a motivator for you to gather strength to pay more attention, and we've gotta realise in no place greater in our lives. Can we measured out then the places where we are not moving forward on a consistent basis to wards things that we want if you're not saying and speaking and sharing how you feel in life. You're avoiding the difficulty that can come up from that. Because you doubt yourself if you are not telling other people, which you want what you desire, which you need in life, your voiding that conversation because you doubt yourself. You're not taking the action SP. Peaking sharing telling asking you're living in voidance, and so many people live in voidance because in the short term of winces, very comfortable. You have to deal with anything near voidance. So measure your life is is there anything that you really wanted in life. But you don't have yet or you're not significantly moving swiftly towards or what am I planning and planning and planning and planning and planning and planning for 'cause planning is not action at some point planning paralysis at some point without real action. So we really have to think about is there something that I've been doubting myself that is not allowing me to progress. And we gotta deal with that. So that's how right how do we deal with self doubt? How do we move from here to there? Well, I we need to know where this is coming from. And there's really only three major. Areas that this and this is coming from. The first one is straight up psychological conditioning behavioral mental conditioning. Right. That's it. Lots of people. They grew up around doubters warriors. Maybe you had a parent or caregiver who's always worried. Don't do that be careful be careful don't do that stop. You know, maybe you're not ready for this. Or that's not you and they were constantly just perpetuating worry in your ear. So you've heard it so many times, worry, worry, worry doubt doubt doubt, concern, concerned concern, stop stop, stop that your mind is just on a rhythm. That's the pattern the automatic. First impulse is to stop not go. The Matt automatic impulse is to shut up not speak up the autumn. Attic impulse is to sort of shrink in sort of insertive instead of demonstrate strength. And so we have to be aware of that. Maybe you're conditioning from other people has implanted those thoughts. But let's not just blame the people. The rowdy is your behavior is also conditioning. No matter what anyone else said if you chose weakness yesterday, you're likely to choose tomorrow, it's conditioned if you choose courage and strength day, you're more likely to amplify have courage and strength tomorrow your behavioral pattern as an adult has much more to do than what your child like acquisition of thinking gave you so what if someone bullied you in twelve grade in sixth grade or fourth grade as a forty year old person that is no longer in excuse, we'd like to make it one in our society because it's so understanding. But there's a difference between understanding an excuse, right? Let's say something happens at ten years old is an important ten years old. Yes. Did it really happen? Yes. Was it significant hurtful traumatic? Yes. At forty forty. Can we blame the thing at ten anymore the answer for any adult who's conscious? No, we cannot could that have been a pivotal place. Yes. That made a major impact. Yes. Could that have set you on a bad path for awhile? Yes. But you cannot say for thirty years that one moment time caused you know, thirty years there was a condition pattern that you kept running over and over and over again. And if it was not leading to healthy successful outcomes in life. It was on you. It is your count ability to say, you know, what I didn't deal with that. I better do it. Now. And if you need get therapy, get support get counseling, if you've any of my work. I never minimize that moment ever that struggle that hardship that challenge. It was real it was difficult. It was frustrating. It was disappointing. It was hurtful, and it was traumatic. Lots of people lots of people had tremendous turmoil in their youth. But as mardi Soliven told the American psychological association as president of the American psychological, social, he's as we have almost no data at all that can support the reality that our childhood difficulties or traumas, justify bad adult behavior. We just can't because too many people have amazing adult behavior. Most of us just have lack of good discipline? Good mental awareness, good positive habits in the moment today. And we can't blame. Yesterday therapy is a good thing. If you need it get counseling, if you're struggling with a recurring thought challenge behavior that just constantly leads to disease or bad habits or wrecked. Life's relationships and careers. Please frigging get help deal with it over and over and over again, we have millions of stories of people who went through horrible things and came out on the other side. Okay. Because they decided to get help there or just deal with it or they said, no more. I don't wanna be like that. And they had a different vision for who they were and the operated from that vision not that history. And that's what changed their life. Second element of doubt. Well, a lot of people have doubts because their projections of consequence right consequence. They're using consequence as a negative tool to support avoidance said that again when people struggle with progress or with a lot of doubt in their life. They're using consequence as a tool as a negative tool to support avoidance, they're saying, well, if I do that all these negative things happen if you've read my work before like the charge. You know, how he talked about fear off is that is really often. A what if statement? Followed by a negative statement. What if this negative thing happens what if I fail? What if they don't like me? What if I'm lonely? What if this makes me feel uncomfortable? What if this is too hard for me? What if I try all this and it turns out horribly? That's a what if statement followed by negative statement. And that's how they're projecting the consequence for themselves but consequence can be incredibly positive tool for us. We can say oh, not only. Can we flip it and say what if it turns out positive what if I do? Well, what if I gained not lose? What if they like me what if I suddenly change? And I everything I wanted we can use that. As a consequence is well to avoid and to get rid of doubt. But listen to this one. We can also use consequence. As a negative motivator against doubt, not four of ins-. But against it as in this. Alternate question coaching. What happens if you continue to do nothing in your life? What happens if you continue to stay the course in this career and not ask for what you want. And not to the projects you want not ask for the raise. What if you stay in this relationship, and you never got vulnerable? What if you stay in this relationship, and you never truly shared what you needed what if you leave that relationship only to find out that you never really even ask them would they wanted what they needed that. When we consider a consequence that is negative. It can overcome doubt. Because if we look and envision a bad future that can get us to act, and if we act over and over and over again that is how we start the feeding this doubt, it is through our own faith and action that we defeat doubt once and for all doesn't mean it won't come up. But now the first time you fight doubt. It's kind of like if feels like you just there's a big bag that you're fighting a big bag in the gym. And you're punching in your punching in your punching and that bag is not moving, but the more you deal without the more that bag becomes small because. You're focusing more on your strength. And now you're at the speed bag over and over and over it's easy. It's minimize is small. You got it. You can do it. While you look over here. Doug. I do. Really Reverend this thing they'll put a little man. What's your house? The kids. Nothing you dealt with it. Because if you act doubt becomes minimized and over time, you're conditioned to act because you prefer favorable consequences, and you've learned to defeat doubt. Last idea the biggest one the one that people forget all the time, and that is conscious choice. It's not happening to you. You didn't walk out the door and the doubt piano fell on your frigging head. You're choosing in this moment right now, you're choosing to doubt who you are the divinity in your heart, the spirit, and the soul that is survived to be here is doubt really the best decision for you right now. Yes, or no. Because we don't think of doubt as a choice as a decision, we think, oh, it happens to me or oh it happens me because I look at the no you're choosing it. So be aware the next time you're choosing. Oh, wait. I'm using doubt. Why am I choosing doubt right now? How is that going to serve me? And that's how life progresses we can choose to avoid or we can choose to take action. It's your choice. It's your decision. Be. Being here. I hope now you'd be more conscious of that choice. If you hear doubt coming up address, it talked to it look at it questions. What would choosing doubt do for me in this moment? And you almost always find it will do nothing. It will put you in the pit of avoidance silence and misery. But address it and say doubt shall not win today. I have faith I can see something better for myself. I'm going to take that action. Even if it's uncomfortable do that enough over and over and over and over again and sudden. You got that speed bag you got sitting under control. And you got excel ration- in your life. All right, my friend. I hope that you enjoyed that. Best of hep Assode was that inspiring where you fired up. Did you love it? If you did make sure you do me a favor, go out on social media somewhere. And share that episode. 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So make sure check it out at Brennan dot com Ford slash monthly. I appreciate you being part of this community of so many people dedicated to find that deeper drive of motivation and practicing high performance habits. So they can become extraordinary in their careers in your personal life in your health. You can live in extraordinary quality of life. And sometimes you just need a little bit more training and a little bit more nudge, a little more energy a little bit, more drive, and consistency. And I'm hoping that being part of this community with the Brennan show. I'm providing that to you in some way. So thank you, my friend for listening. I look forward to seeing you or listen in on the next episode of the B R E N D O N show.