1618: [Part 1] On Transforming the Judgmental Mind: Stories From 7 Days of Silence by Dr. Elana Miller of Zen Psychiatry
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In the world where blogs are narrated to you for free with permission from the authors is an award winning podcast. Thanks to you and today I have a bit of a longer postal. Read the first half today and then finish the rest for you tomorrow so with that. Let's get right to it and start optimizing your life savings on. Transforming the judgmental mind stories from seven days of silence. Part one by Dr Alana Miller of Zen Psychiatry dot com on the first evening of my recent seven days silent meditation retreat at a strange Schrimm as in my house and had flooded has a walk through the rooms. I waited in several feet of water. Panicked I raised a call. My landlord me I could feel the anxiety and fears. I rushed to dial her number. Miss Typing is several times instead of picking up the phone though. She had her husband answer. He was unkind and dismissive and told me that his wife didn't WanNa talk to me. I could feel her presence in the background and became more and more of set as she refused to get on. The phone refused to help me refused to even talk to me. The next morning I woke up and still felt the weight of my anguish the dream. I wonder why that dream came to me when I did. And what is trying to tell me in dreams? Other people often symbolized parts of ourselves in real. My landlord is a very sweet and non dismissive woman and so I felt that her presence symbolized a part of myself that is dismissive in cruel to my own anguish pain over the course of the week many powerful emotions and experiences bubble to the surface and I took advantage of the safety and simplicity of the retreat environment to stop ignoring them. But first things first was it hard to be silent for seven days. No it was easy and it was a very very cool experience. The rule of the retreat. Where no talking? And no eye contact because icon is can be a form of communication and the ideas that any communication pulls person out of their inner world and takes away from the deepening of the meditative experience but to the silence feel isolating absolutely not i. The environment was so safe and warm. The could feel the mutual caring and compassion emanating from each person. Even without talking to them I came to the retreat with a few friends for Meditation. Classes at UCLA. And while I did not talk to them or look at them for the entire period we spent in silence. I felt their care for me men. No they felt my care for them one time. I saw my friend sitting in the dining hall at launch. Took the scene next to her. We did not speak a single word or even acknowledged each other's presence but by sitting there. I let her know that she was in my thoughts another day. She took the seat next to me dinner and I felt her silent greeting. We reach assigned jobs as a way to practice mindful whole working and to give back to the community. I was a second shift dishwasher. There were three of US each with separate responsibilities. I scrub the dishes. The Guy to my left. Rinse them and put them in the dishwasher and the other woman took them out of the dishwasher and put them away the guy next to me with the dishes in the dishwasher. We barely spoke to each other more even made eye contact. But I swear to you that we were friends on one occasion. I thought we were wrapping up but had missed a bucket of dishes as he gently tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the bucket eye reflexively gasped oath he laughed and I laughed and then we went on washing dishes another time. He was late to the shift so I had to get started without him when he arrived. I saw him press his palms together in. Bowden me out of the corner of my eye. Aye Bowed back in all was immediately. Forgiven at the end of the retreat. Wants to silence was broken. I found him and we started chatting mostly about how awesome we were at washing dishes. Dot feel like. This was the first time we were meeting. If out like we were already friends a meditation. Retreat is not about finding peace but insight. I think one of the problems with the mindfulness craze hitting us these days is failure to accurately represent what meditation does people start. Meditating hoping to find relaxation and instead are struck like a ton of bricks by the insanity of their own minds in inner peace does come with a regular meditation practice but it comes later not from forcing oneself into a calm state but from reaching a deeper insight about the realities of the human experience so one can stop reacting unskillful to the joys and sorrows intrinsic tore existence. I came to the retreat hoping to relax and slowdown and I did but also learned important lessons about how the mind works and how I crease suffering for myself. It's easy to find peace in the middle of meditation retreats with no responsibilities no phone calls and emails no demands right was more challenging and more important is to find peace in regular everyday moments instead of clean to brief pleasures and resisting inevitable. Pains pain is inevitable. Suffering is not the Buddha taught that we are all as if struck through the heart by an Arrow this symbol is the unavoidable pains we experienced through the sheer fact and we are human however we carry a second Arrow as well and the mistake we make his thinking that by shooting the second Arrow at ourselves or someone else we can remove the pain of the I. Have you ever had physical pain and clenched around it or had heartbreak and told yourself that you must not be good enough or fell criticize and hurt and lashed out at someone else? One of the goals of meditation practice is to learn how to sit with first Arrow without shooting the second we learn how to sit with the unavoidable pains of the human experience without adding suffering to the mix the first step in transforming the judgmental mind. Study it the specific topic of this particular. Retreat was how to transform judgmental states of mind that teacher divine judgments as noticing plus reactivity. The goal was to become aware of Howard. Judgmental mind worked so we could use our ability to discern for wise and compassionate purposes as opposed to getting caught up in our narratives about how things should be quote. What gets measured gets managed? Peter drucker quote to know the Law Steve A particle. We must measure it. Meant to measure it. We are forced to affect it. Heisenberg uncertainty principle. I we study the judgmental mind. We watch it understand it. Measure it. Mindfully follow his stories. Just the sheer process of observing can create insight into our patterns thereby dissolving the ignorance. That leads to habitual reactivity over the week. We were instructed to become keenly aware of our judgments both meditation and throughout the day. Did we judge ourselves for not meditating? Well enough to judge someone else for not moving through the food. Line fast enough. Do we judge our knees getting tired from so much city what to the judgments feel like in the body. What sensations arose. How did the judgments feel in the heart? As reflected on situations where I had become critical or judgmental I noticed that my reactivity tended to stem from feelings of being threatened or unsafe in some way in seeking to protect myself from these difficult feelings. I shot the second Arrow into someone else to be continued. Sir You just listen apart. One of the post titled on transforming the Judgmental Mind stories from seven days of silence by Dr Alana Miller of ZEN PSYCHIATRY DOT COM. A real quick thanks to anchor for hosting this podcast. Anger is the easiest. Way To make a podcast. They'll distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard everywhere spotify apple podcast. Google podcast and many more. You can easily make money from your podcast to with no minimum listenership anchor gives you everything you need in one place for free which you can use right from your phone or computer creation tools. Allow you to record and Eddie Your podcast. So it sounds great. Download the anchor APP or go to anchor dot. Fm to get started. And thank you to Dr Anne. Lana I've done many many hours of meditation but never done a silent retreat. I know was offered at some of the places I've been to and everyone I know who has done. It has said it was a worthwhile experience but by never got around to it. I've heard stories from these super emotional to not that much but in either case interesting here about and definitely made me want to try it. Chris rining a writer. We narrate mostly on OPTIMA finance daily. He actually did it at a very emotional response. That might be worth checking out. If you're interested in silent meditation retreat. I narrated that article way back episode nine thirty nine but I should do it for today. Thank you for being here and listening every day including weekends. And we'LL BE BACK TOMORROW TO FINISH UP THIS POST. Where your optimal life awaits.