Just Because Something Feels Personal Doesn't Mean It Is - And How To Respond With EFT (Pod #399)


Everybody Jean here welcomed the tapping cuny podcast every single week. We answered the most common uncommon questions about tapping an emt seen get the most out of your eft practice eliminate self sabotage Tauch. Take the action that you want before we jump into today's show. I just have a quick announcement starting November I. I am doing a thirty day tapping challenge. Where every single well day in the month of November? I'm going to be posting a new youtube video. You can tap along to if you're currently on my mailing list. Is today Monday which this podcast is going out. You received an email where you can just click Lincoln side of that and it will make sure that you are going to get email reminders or show you how you can subscribe through tubes to get an reminder every single day about the video if you did not get that message or you just WanNa make sure you get on the list. All you need to do is go to tapping in Cuny dot com slash thirty Hyphen Day. And that's the number three zero tapping cunard dot com slash thirty Hyphen Day. And you will get those videos does have absolutely free this gene Montross Deli. Welcome to the podcast recorded live to tape from Williamsburg Brooklyn this. This is episode three ninety nine originaly aired January sixteenth. Two Thousand and thirteen reedited remastered released October. Twenty eight to nine. I hope this will wherever you are at whatever time of day. You're getting a chance to listen to this. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Today we're going to talk about a really subtle topic and it's the idea that just because something impacts me personally particularly in action taken by someone else doesn't doesn't actually mean at his personal and it's about me and it's it's such a subtle concept is you'll see as we get into it but if you understand this concept it is going to make those times that you're tapping about the struggles that you have in the relationships around you so much easier and so much more fruitful and it's not about giving other people a pass and making they don't take responsibility but it does put us in a place where it allows us to move forward in a natural and effective way before we do that just a quick reminder we we have a free ten part guide to help you to eliminate self sabotage there's audios videos tapping scriptures all sorts of goodness waiting. There for you all you need to do is go tapping Q.. And Aid Dot Com Click on the blue button. Or if you're listening to this right now on the website up that right hand corner you'll see a blue button. Click on on that and every single day the next ten days you will receive one of these little reminders giving you some instruction and they don't take long just four or five minutes but if you do that every single day not only. Are you going to be adding to your tool set. But you're going to make it easier for you to tap and for you to take action so without any further ado. Here's our conversation about how just because it feels personal doesn't mean that it is I today. I want to talk about a little bit of Kind of subtle concept in how we respond to the world in how the emotions we have can show up in a way. That isn't serving us very well and it has to do with win. People are doing things that hurt us either doing things in the world that consequences fall back on us or they're saying things that fall back us and we interpret them in a way that's really really personal and and just because we experienced something in a personal way and it hurts US personally. It doesn't mean gene. The intention of the person that's done the act is doing something to personally hurt us now. There are definitely going going to be times when people are doing things to be mean when people are doing things to spite us to make our day worse to make us feel worse to take us down a peg or two and I'm not talking about those times and when I talk about the Times where we're getting impacted by choices. Other people are making and they feel really personal personal. I'm not also saying that it's okay for them to do those things but it's important for us to recognize the difference between an act that is being done and to me personally an act. That is hurting me. Personally I think the the simplest way to look at this and understand this would be through an example. Let's say for example. I have someone in my life. Who has a drinking problem? And because of this drinking problem they become unreliable and I'm in a circumstance where I don't have my car because my car is in the shop and depending on this person to pick me up in the morning at a take me to to work and they drink too much the night before they oversleep. They're not able to pick me up. I ended up having to take a cab cost me money. I show up to work late. All sorts of stuff falls on me. I'm really annoyed. This person who was supposed to be taken care of me in that morning. It's very easy for me to interpret that that act as they don't care about me and they think so little of me. They promised me something and they didn't come through. No it is true true. They promised me something in. It is true that they didn't come through with what they promised. But Maya assertion and that they don't care enough about me to follow through on their promise may or may not be true if they're in a circumstance where they're dealing with the real sickness of alcoholism and they found themselves going on a bender the night before yes it was responsible. Yes they should have known better. Yes yes it really hurts me but the choice they made wasn't about me. I just happened to be impacted by it very personally and again when this happens just because it isn't about me personally. It doesn't mean that I give them a pass on it. It doesn't mean that I let it go. It doesn't mean that I allow it to keep coming into my life but when I am able to look through the lens of it wasn't about me it just hurt me very badly then. It allows me to show up in a slightly less elevated emotional space. I'm still really annoyed because a complicated my life. I'm still really annoyed because it costs me unnecessary money for a cab. I'm still really annoyed because it made me look bad at work because I didn't Chopin time when I was supposed to and it looks like I'm irresponsible but I also don't have the extra fuel or accelerate thrown on the fire of my emotion that they don't think a lot about me now they they might be struggling with something so much. It's hard for them to see beyond themselves. And that's unfortunate but I'm going to respond a little bit differently if I'm able to see that it isn't all about me. Even though it impacts me it all. I know his. What is about me in the about talk about talk to talk as if protocol that? We've talked about before four if you haven't heard it go back to podcasts. Bonus podcast twenty to go to tapping Qa. PODCASTS DOT COM. Click on Bonus podcast twenty two. If you want a full explanation of that in that third step we talk as if it helps us to understand. See from their point of view to help us de-escalate so the next time you're in a circumstance where someone has done something that impacts you very personally if you're able take a step back and you're able to ask yourself the question. Why was the choice? They made the best possible choice. They could make in that circumstance based on their resource state and the information they had it gives us the opportunity to look at it through a little perspective. The example gave you. Why is it the my friend drinking a lot the night before? Why is that the best state? Well they're in a circumstance where maybe they're in. A lot of pain in. Alcohol is the form of self medication. They're choosing to deal with that pain now again when I see that clearly clearly. I'm not excusing it. I'm not even saying that's a good way for them to deal with the problem but if I understand their point of view when they're making that it's going to help me to de escalate just a little bit. It's really important for us to remember. It's not actually all about us now. There are times and when people are going to do things to hurt us but in my experience at least the people I've managed to surround myself with when I'm being hurt by the people around me. It's because I'm a casualty of something else and when I'm able to see that it's a little easier and so when I find myself in that circumstance I tap on something like this. What happened right now hurt? What happened right now? Hurt me personally. It feels like the other person has a cared very much about me. And they don't understand how their choices impact me and just because it impacts me in a personal way. It doesn't does. It mean that they were trying to hurt me. It's possible I am casualty of something else and it is unfair that I've been hurt and I'm allowed to stand up for myself. I'm GonNa make sure others take responsibility for their choices and I have the right to defend myself when I'm hurt but it's also good for me to recognize that sometimes even when it hurts me personally. It's not about me personally and when I see that it's not about me personally. I'm going to be able to respond a little clearer. It's good stand up for myself. It's good that I don't let others run over me but it's also important to understand how and why I got run over how and why. I got hurt in order to respond in a way. That's best for me in the short and long term able to take a few moments and tap on something like that. I'm able to see things a little bit clearer and I'm able to make choices instead of escalating the circumstance by attacking back because I feel a tax. I'm able to step forward and defend myself and care for myself self and make sure it doesn't happen again in such a way that I'm not adding more fuel to the fire. I'm able to do it away. That's keeping me safe and cared for again. It's really subtle concept. It's not personal even when it feels personal. Sometimes aren't you can see how that is a really subtle concept but when you have your mind wrapped after a round it gives us the ability to tap in a slightly different way which allows us to see the problem more clearly. Get to the root cause faster which means we're going to release the emotion lot easier if you have any questions about this. I'd love to hear your feedback. Your concerns your thoughts. Just drop me a note. Gene G E N E it tapping Q. and A. DOT DOT COM or. If you're on the website just click on that contact button. If you know someone in your life who could use this little bit of information please be our ambassador. Don't spam your inbox walks but just pass it along the fastest and easiest way for people to find a new piece of resource that is helpful for them is the recommendation of a friend. So it would mean the world's me because you're going to reach people never gonNA reach because you know people I don't know in every single person that we have in our life who is tapping more the healthier. They are the healthier the people around them. Are they healthy our our world. Is You know that sounds kind of. I don't know a little woo. But it's the truth but every single person. Our life who is is healthier has a positive impact on us and around them and so it doesn't take much to pass a resource like this along so it would mean the world to me if you did it. If you haven't done so already ready you can subscribe to this podcast in podcasting parlance subscribe does not mean you're paying for something. This is not Netflix. Or some other service that you have to pay for and there are are some audio platforms now where you do pay. This is not the case. Wherever you can find audio you can find this? You can find it in apple podcast. Google podcasts spotify Pandora Indoor deesor Radio Public Himalayan outcast. The list goes on and on and on if you go to tapping PODCAST DOT COM. You can see a list of every single place you can get the podcasting find the place that makes the most sense for you can also check out our entire archive of every single episode of the podcast absolutely free by going to tapping PODCAST DOT com. Where the tapping QNA podcast this? Is Jean Mantra Stella. I hope you have a great day. I will talk real soon. Bye Bye the topic. Cuny podcast is Copyright Gene Mantra Kelly Tapping Q.. And Eight two thousand sixteen and all of us expressed by

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