Oh No, It's Fall! (With Guest Biz Ellis from One Bad Mother)
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You name it super affordable pricing plus free shipping and free returns so you can shop from home right now linen fit is offering listeners know what fresh hell podcast 20% off their purchase site-wide at linen fit.com when you use the code fresh at checkout, that's l i n e. It linen fit and use a code fresh a check out for 20% off your purchase our pumpkin spiced pandemic fatigue that took us what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood fall queen. I'm the queen of fall with Margaret tables and Amy Wilson played Hansel and Gretel stay six feet apart a podcast that sells today's parenting dilemmas. So you don't have to my plan for the winter is Danish, baby girl. Hello everyone and welcome to this episode of what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood. This is Margaret. This is Amy. And today you guys are no it's fall. Oh no. Oh, no, it's fall the little darker and colder every day. It's Fall Guys, and this wasn't growing great in the summertime. So now it's fall. We were wringing our hands. In fact that cure comes summer and now like wait what we have a guest today Biz from the one bad mother podcast who was lucky enough to live in California where it's kind of summer. So we realized we're talking to people from all over the country and in fact, and we're so International all over the world. Yes, so not everybody is facing the same problems that we are facing here in New York Darkness coldness, but again gloom-and-doom. This is a podcast about a hour pandemic are pumpkin spiced pandemic fatigue that's us podcast about our problems. You guys just has to do listen to our problems, but I guess everyone's facing darling. In the US, but let's go back to the season of fall because I feel like even without the special, you know, fresh hell of twenty-twenty. I hate falling you love it. I mean no surprise were opposites in this way. I bought the whole like chunky sweater Burr. Let me sip a hot beverage. I can't enjoy that for one minute because it just means that like pretty soon. They'll be ice and cold. I mean you're robbing yourself of so much joy follows the best I am fall queen. I'm the queen of fall and this weekend. I gathered some members of my quarantine pod of whom there are like five by the way and my sister and her kids and I went up to yeah, like a giant it's like the Disney Land of apples. Basically this giant fun Orchard. It was actually a little too crowded so we didn't have our best experience there, but still the thing, I mean it was crowded but it was huge. I mean, it's it got I don't know anything about em, Bridge but it's a billion Acres. You know, I mean, it's so spread out and so everybody was wearing masks the entire time outside. So I wasn't that freaked out about it in terms of crowd size. It's just incredibly carefully done and there was so much room to frolic and we picked apples. We got pumpkins. We ate apple cider donuts in the fields and we got lost in the corn maze and I watch like this is my happiest place my God, you can take your fourth of July and shoot it to the moon cuz me eating a cider donut in a corn maze is Peak Magda mean that's about as long as it gets like that's my happiest happiest thing ever. I was stuck in a corn maze like once with my kids like really stuck like tears and remember that the story of a couple of years ago about a woman who called 911 were just talking about it in the corn maze. Yeah. She was with her young children like the youngest one was in a Baby Bjorn in a corn maze and it was getting dark and she called 911 and of course was like rage. Over the Internet calls, but any mom reading that was like immediately, of course you identify with that mother like the three year olds to go to the bathroom and this stopped being fun 45 minutes ago. And why don't you make this freaking corn maze. So how long and let me in with multiple small children, you know, I think other okay. Luckily I was with a twelve-year-old my nephew who was like, I got it any kind of figured it out and we just let us around man home and my niece was also with this my two nieces came with us and they made corned punch the whole time they were like we're cornfused. This is a recordings in scorn fused in the corn maze. I'm a job in a corn maze like life is a corn maze right now. I don't need its literal eyes it. Yeah, you don't need to simulate the course Miss experience. You're like should I go this way or this way? I'm sure both ways lead to nothing but more corn right both are terrible. Like I'm getting a lot of that already. Yeah, we have very different feelings and thought I love like sitting in the stands of a football game with a hot apple cider and like a scarf down. Just it's my happy place. I love it. I love it. I love it. In fact, I lived in La for fifteen years and I was like, I have to get out of this god-forsaken place where there is no fault. I can't stand it so far, I feel like is the most seasoning of Seasons. I feel like because it's like the leaves falling and stuff. It's the most clearly delineated. You know what I mean? Like you can look out your window and see it. I went for a hike in the woods last weekend. That's how I do my fault alone a picture. You would like crossed arms angry the whole time and just like yelling at the leaves. No, no, no, no. No, my costumes would be like at the lake hayride long. May I put the toddler in a hay bale and like pretend that something that would happen when real life and try to get a picture of them with the piece of straw hanging out their mouth. I love your bitterness against fall. No, thank you, but I went in the Woods by myself off hugged around and these yellow leaves were falling in an honest-to-god looked like an Instagram filter, like it looked fake how perfectly symmetrical e and slowly these yellow leaves. Falling through my field of vision and I had you know ten seconds of like that is preposterously beautiful and I wish my kids were with me right now so I could get my Christmas card done but then followed by but by the time we come out next weekend, if we come up here hike again with the kids the next chance I could get them up here like too late. It'll be all dead. Everything's dead and buried and like five more minutes. That's what I think of when I see leaves falling. I love you. Ami Jani really cracking me up. It's awesome. So I'm really bring a lot of positivity to the coming months. You're not into it. And that's your right people are allowed to like different things. I mean, if you said to me like I'm trying to think I have an equivalent, but basically I always remember and I hate to say this because I know we have people who listen from San Diego and grape for you cuz I'm sure you love it there. But whenever you go to San Diego, I feel like people in Diego kind of ruins like San Diego's the best because it's like 300 Beach days and I'm like, you've just given Voice to my nightmare. It's like three hundred beats days is the worst thing that could ever happen to me song. Now and I'm glad that people who live in San Diego like that, but that's my hell but I'm sure Frozen February is their health but we just luckily home you live somewhere you like because people like very different things. This fall has been much more like everybody's I think pushing how much and how long we are willing to be outside in new ways wage in New York City. We have like outdoor dining has been a wonderful thing in New York City. It's like you're on a Boulevard in Paris and every restaurant has a gorgeous outdoor seating. Can you say that one more time? Just one month Boulevard loud liberal the full of people outside at restaurants and you know, it's like getting down into the mid fifties and we're all like it's fine. No. No, it's totally fine. Don't know. I don't even think I'm good cuz we're all trying to keep it going as long as we can because pretend we're having fun before we don't see or talk to anybody for six months. I was walking in the park with a friend yesterday. Like I feel like we're doing it. We're making sure. Work and I was like, I would be like, oh, it's 62 time I go inside but now sort of like I live out here. There is no inside. Yeah. Well, we've been having a hilarious dance with the outdoor living in that we had a fire pit which is incredibly old. It's basically like a rusty tin that we throw logs and we have not cared for it and it's a disaster. But of course we broke it out and we have a place we love to go in upstate that sells Sider off like alcohol cider, you know the good guide and we bought a case of it before we left Upstate when we were up there earlier in the summer and I was like, let's crack out the cider the it's like champagne. It's just so so good. We've already finished it spoiler alert, but we put logs in the fire and we have this outdoor furniture and we really gathered around the fire pit like and now the cider and basically two seconds and we were all in dying of smoke inhalation and had to go inside and so we were at a friend's the other night and they had I don't know if he built in himself or they had an outdoor fireplace which yep Really different than a fire pit. It's like a whole structure that is a fireplace that sits outside and we sat next to it. I will say it was only like Fifty seven degrees but it was so dead Heavenly and I mean, you've gotta give it some thought. The firepit is a little bit rough like by the time you get close to it to get any heat. You're basically just like in the middle of a burning building. It sucks. I have some a couple of weeks ago Margaret told us all that. She's going to be a Danish baby this winter everyone knows my plan for the winter is Danish baby because Danish babies late parents and Denmark will put their babies outside in a stroller to nap just for like the constitution of it the air and the cold is actually good. So Smithsonian Magazine, I'll put the link up in the show notes did an article about how the black people in northern Europe like Denmark Norway Sweden have a concept called freelance live. This is the Norwegian word. I thought you were going to say Hugh guy was like, well, we know all about Hugo but this is something new you got. Yep. So I got a new one for you. Sir. Huga is the Norwegian word. I think it's Norwegian for being super cozy like your cable knit blanket in your hot. Cocoa is hygge. Oh, I love it so much. We lift live is often Norwegian concept of free are living. I think it means and it just means you're outside. It doesn't matter what the weather is you love being outside because you belong outside like I love their ice festivals and they're outside and this is how it should be. Yeah. They're like the people from Frozen there like Chris stops people, you know, they're like, we love it the snow, right? So we need to put a little freaked us lives in our hearts cuz I think that's the fall thing for me like yeah fall is kind of pretty but I dread it because then it's going to be cold we have to be inside. So I need to turn that around for myself like or you don't have to be inside. You can just get extra extra warm coat and keep doing your long walks. I will say Amy in your defense that this is harder in New York City than it is where I live. So I live in the suburbs and all around town. Are like hiking trails and piles of leaves and the experience of being outside is different when you're like I have to walk up the freezing cold Windy Hill to pick up off and then I have to walk down like a hundred. I used to live right near where Amy lives now. I mean, I remember you would turn some of those streets going down to the Hudson River. Yep. And I mean, it's basically like someone is stabbing you in the face with icicles. Like that's not yes. I don't care how into Huga you get or free Laughlin you're into you will never enjoy the sensation of trying to pick up your dry cleaning and being stabbed High School needles. Like that's not possible to enjoy. Yeah. Okay. All right, I feel better. So I do think like you have to make some distinctions between like I'm going to make more of an effort to like drive up and hang out with my thoughts in her backyard, which you're very welcome to do. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to make more in an effort to like go to Central Park and take a walk. But even that your feet are on asphalt. Basically, you know, I mean, I think it's not the winter off. A little bit of a maybe like I don't know I scanned. He's probably not open to nevermind to that. I'm trying to think of something that would make you happy and like I'm failing but I do think walking through Manhattan were like it's a wind tunnel at every crosswalk that is just assaulting you. It's hard to get into that as opposed to I'm going to make sure that when my kids come home from school we put on our jackets and go sledding. Like that's more free lunch then like I'm going to enjoy the freezing cold walk to the grocery store, but drive to pick up the milk. I forgot to get yeah. Yeah, and I don't enjoy the part where I go out and sit in my freezing cold car waiting for it to warm up. You know, I mean, I just think you have to be kind of realistic about what's enjoyable and what's not because I think we sometimes try to be like, I guess I should be enjoying like shattering my thoughts until they break while I wait for my car to warm up that you never going to enjoy that that's horrible. Well this sort of fun of the everyday I have a quote for you from the mayor of Wausau, Wisconsin, who is probably a mom her name is Kathy. Eisenberg she's talking about why this fall is hard in a way that we thought the spring was hard. But now this is even like crazier hard because she says people are done putting hearts on their windows and teddy bears out for Squaw Fay have had enough and I think that's it back in the spring. We were trying to make our like trip to the dry cleaner with the kid in the car seat a little fun. Like let's all clap for the workers. Let's look for the teddy birth, right but it's it's oh, yeah, we're so done with that. We are done with making the you know, sort of Quotidien stuff. We have to do everyday a special warm hug. You get a quarter for that job and quotidian. Yeah, you know, we're done making that special it's not special. It's horrible as you would say. Yeah. Yeah and like I guess that's okay, but you're right. So I guess for me to stop dreading what's to come to enjoy the crunchy leaves for what they are and then trust that there will be good things in the cold dead. Darkness that awaits Us in the month ahead sounds easy. Yeah. I mean, I do think that your degree of difficulty is harder a man. I think maybe you have to figure out some ways maybe move. Yeah. It's a life. Well, you're probably not going to move but I do think it might be good to be like, let's try to go to my sister's out of the city. Yeah, three times over the winter and pick those dates earlier like yeah, I do think there's a lot to say 4 and in the winter the city is amazing, you know, you've got the windows and Christmas and 5th Avenue and ice skating and but I do think this year is going to be much much harder because none of the fun stuff is happening all of the icicles to the face are happening and I think maybe you need to make some pretty concrete plants and you can come up to my house anytime. Okay? All right, I'll do that. Okay, we'll take a break and when we come back, we're gonna talk to business from one bad mother about how her fall is going. Well Amy, the gift-giving season is quickly approaching and as you know song Maybe one of my least favorite things on earth is the great gift card exchange. Oh, it's so depressing here. You're like, oh thank you and a shoulder shrug. Oh, if you're tired of giving tiny boring envelope your friends and family check out Uncommon Goods for the most unique gifts. You can find online no matter who you're shopping for Uncommon Goods has the perfect gift. They've got art jewelry kids stuff kitchen stuff at home stuff. You name it often handmade always out of the ordinary plus you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. You won't find this unique creativity in any department store for a limited time. You can get 15% off your first Uncommon Goods gift by going to uncommongoods.com laughing that's uncommongoods.com for 15% off your first gift UncommonGoods cool unique and unusual gifts. I had such a mellow night last night because I treated myself to two of my favorite things an episode of a documentary about cults and a recess sparkling water Amy. I salute you for your choice of Television programming and your choice of nightcaps recess is a flavored sparkling water infused with 10 milligrams of CBD and plant-based adaptogens for bath Clarity. I had a black cherry recessed to be specific good one a good one. Yeah made with real fruit and natural ingredients, and it's way less sweet than a soda, which I loved, but it has wage a little something resets resets and rebalances. You helping you be more calm and focused even when your spouse is on speakerphone, that's a big promise Amy big promise to be calm cool and collected way. It's always a good time to take a recess take 15% off your first order of recessed by going to take a recess, and using the code fresh. That's take a recess off. And the code fresh for 15% off your first order of recess we are so excited to have Biz Ellis with us today. She is the co-host of the podcast one bad mother dead. Thanks for talking to us. Woo. I am very happy to talk to any human being at this point in time in the world including my cats who is not your child or yeah, it's not my child so often we know the feeling well anything but here anywhere but here right this how many and how old okay. I've got two children that live in the house one is six and eight grade. The other is she's what is she eleven though? I continue to insist. She's actually only eight and that's where our problems come from and girl cats and my spouse three cats at a spouse. That's a movie right there and they're all here. They're all physically in this house all the time. I mean Here Comes fall, right? Like wow, it's off. About to get much much worse. I feel like for us, you know, as I was saying. Yeah, the summer we kind of coasted a little bit in the summer. We were outside a lot. We didn't have to worry about schooling odd, but here comes fob. It's Amy. Your kids are probably they've aged out of Halloween, right? They they shot a Halloween will might drive a seventh-grader who was talking about her costume and stuff. But yeah, I feel zero stress around making it work like who cares? There's probably not Halloween. I don't care how secretly happy. Yeah. This is a huge divide because I'm Halloween obsessed my kids love how long were so bummed and half the people I talk to are like, oh the only upside of this whole hellscape is that I don't have to participate in Halloween kind of hellscape. Are you living at this monsters? What kind of monsters these are monsters speaking of Halloween, but like has Halloween been outlawed in your area. It has been modified by our town so we took I live in Halloweentown like its way. Yeah, there's certain towns that go all in for Halloween and I live in one of them. And so we usually start the festivities with the Ragamuffin parade, which is when the kids get in their outfits and March through the whole town. It's a parade and then there's a big Fall Festival cancel ragamuffins stay inside scrapped ragamuffins your choice all throughout. That's right. And then there's a huge section of our town that shuts down for Halloween and like buses come from all over and it's apparently like the sneakers tell you that if you buy in this neighborhood like you are expected to participate in Halloween, like every house has a crazy display with like zombies that jump out like people dress up and they jump out at people. It's a whole thing. That's all gone. That buses cancelled. Yeah fun is canceled. The police have announced they're not going to shut any streets down and like they encouraging people to like turn off your lights and like wage. Like a movie where like they you know roll down the shades. It's like no one's home. How's it looking in La? Well, they first came out and said no trick or treating and the entire city of L was like no doubt that unacceptable. We refuse basically people went a little crazy and within like a less than 24 hours it became try to be reasonable. Yeah, that's not going to go great guys. Yeah, our little straight has a lot of Littles a lot of kids like 234 a little ragamuffins. I suppose as ragamuffins. And so I've been talking and with some of those neighbors cuz virus the plague has really brought the neighborhood together people are out walking and talking to each other. It's just weird and so we are going to do a little costume parade socially distance just on our straight so that kids can wear their costumes and then for us we've been trying cuz we really like home. And we've been trying to be creative of how to distribute candy if people are out. Do you have the PVC pipe and once during the PVC pipe know now we're going to turn the front of our house until like, you know Candy cookie Cottage of a witch and then like, you know where her house is made of candy. So the front gate like our little white fence we're gonna make that look like, you know, it's made of candy and you can literally come and steal candy off of our house. That's great. Just steal the siding off the house. So it is is you are my kind of people all in on Halloween. I love it. All right Halloween is going to be a disaster. Let's be honest. If you live on business Street, it sounds like you're lucky for the rest of us. It's going to stink but it's only one of many things that are going to stink about 5, let's talk for a minute about creeping Darkness. I mean you live in California, at least it's going to stay pretty warm. You've got that going for you. That's true. We're just ending are you know, like wage? Are always like are so aware that for so many people who live everywhere else winter is a nightmare like fall leads to Winter. That's the thing above. Yeah, This is Amy's home base that you're on right here fall leads to winter fall leaves to Winter & winter is horrible, but here all the way until almost the end of October. It will stay off a hundred degrees. So you still can't go outside. Yeah, that's my bad place. That's the thing like people who live warm places. I'm always like I get it but I can't do a hundred degrees. No jobs. No one can everybody's inside just like you're inside in the middle of Minnesota in April. We are inside in the fall. Yeah. Just yeah, that's all right and dry. Yep and dry and don't touch the car seat. So do you look forward to his fall sort of pretty good for you? Because it's going to be 65 sounds like is that a different experience and dead? No, it's never going to be 65 here until January. And so this really is my sad time of year. I'm just like writing leaves are falling from the trees. But only because of a drought I feel like this year. I could relocate to Pasadena because it is I mean, we're already at Peak difficulty right now. We're remote learning with our kids. We're haven't seen our families. We're hiding from a pandemic and now cold does seem like it's going to be a problem and a lot of the ways we have been surviving so far have been a and okay we can maybe eat at this restaurant if we stay on the sidewalk and we can maybe see our friends if they hang out in the yard with a mask on and I feel like we're about to be plunged into like it's just a black hole of Doom. I think the reason I feel that way is cuz it's true. And on that cheery note. Anyway guys, welcome to the world's most depressing podcast is great to have you and it's pretty good who wants to talk about holidays next but wage want to find out like cuz that that is like the dread of this is the last day that I will be able to stand in. The sunshine feeling is Weighing on me really heavily. And like this is the last time I have to wage walk with my friend this week and we can't reschedule because next week is going to be dark and cold and you know, when I will never see this person again, are you living under less of that cloud in LA or are you also feeling like, oh, he he's terrible. I am of the camp of we're here for a much longer period of time at least in California, we're not going back into a building in the foreseeable future when it comes to the dark. I got to tell you here again summer is the bad times and fall and winter is when I get to look forward to walking again to going out on a walk and not like swell. So much that I feel like I should never step outside again. Yeah, we're like, we're in opposite fell cuz you're just coming into good and we're just coming into bad. Yeah, but I will say either way it's signal the beginning of a whole new set of if we just want to go depressing. I mean, I think we're we've gone they're right. We lived there Why Stop Now? Okay good, then let's get genetic deep now, but I do think holidays. I mean the thing fall always signals holidays, right? Like this is when all the holidays start to encroach. If you don't have a nice Christmas things up at your local craft store yet, then, you know, you are living in some sort of weird town. Okay, because like all the winter holidays. We're about to all hath go through that pandemic style. So, you know that's going to be fun. Well, and I do think that that is for me at least a kind of burgeoning realization like I have dead. Leave for a lot of the Year thought well by then it will be over like that. It will be better by Thanksgiving. It will be better by Christmas and we certainly were making plans of like well, can we get and who should we be gathering with and how will we do our travel so that it's safe and I feel like that's been my mode for a long time and the reality is now starting to creep. Yeah, and that like, oh, you're not doing any of those things you're going to be like sitting in front of a zoom camera you having turkey and crying. Hooray and like trading said gifts with I mean, the one thing is my kids are still little enough that and this is I mean, we have to find some positives guys cuz our listeners are basically like thinking about going out and lying and traffic right now because we have depressed them. So badly one thing I will say we have functioned my little family unit mean we hate each other we scream at each other we hate our lives but there has been something fun about being our little five person. You know, I have three kids. So I do think like Halloween is we're going all out on the costumes. I usually like pick sitting on a Party City. I don't care but this year like we're making costumes. I'm dying. My daughter's going into zombie bride. Like I'm dying the wedding dress grey like we're finding the fun and I think that's all you can possibly do and one part of finding the fun is staring down the realities, right which is like Thanksgiving. We're not getting on a plane and go to Texas that we've done everything is giving for years and we go to this Amazing Horse Farm and we deep fried cheese. Is in the family's all there and there's you know ponies to ride and there's a hot Walker to ride on and it's like the greatest thing ever. We gotta stare down that that's not this Thanksgiving. So like what's the next best fun thing, you know, do we put heaters in the yard and try to figure it out with friends? I don't know. But what is it? Well, I was just going to say from the positive spin like on all of this. I agree. That way we call it submarining and place, you know, like when you're on a submarine how you've got to make every space in your submarine function. Well, that's a good metaphor. I like that. I think that includes like things like traditions and celebrations. So one of the things that I love so much is that starting before October this neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods started pushing the Halloween decorations, and it was really fun and people were going all out, which I love there's even one house that just went straight up to Christmas already dead. Like I salute them every time I walk by I feel like there's a lot of finding your own fun like that. I think I'd like to imagine we're all trying to embrace a little bit off more like you want to leave the Halloween decorations up forever. Great. Let's do it. Let's do it. You want to like go ahead and put a tree up. Let's do it. There was a house here in March like back when it started and it was clear what was going on. They put all their Halloween decorations and all their Christmas decorations Allah back just to be like, we're fun people wonder what New York City is like on Halloween. It's kind of great cuz you can go like around a high-rise apartment building and have like more candy than you can carry and you know thirty minutes and then there's these sort of Street parties which again of all been canceled. I've seen Tina Fey at this local block party with their kids more than once, you know lick and just like Humanity like ten thousand people on a two-block stretch. We're not doing that this year, but we don't have houses to decorate and so I'm getting the feeling we're here that we're like, forget it. It's like see you next year. Not doing it and that's at least that's my sort of thing that I'm bringing to this. Like it's I don't want to do Thanksgiving just the five of us. I don't want to do it like just we have pizza. Yeah, and that's fine get Chinese food like it's fine. Yeah, this isn't Thanksgiving anyway, and that is I will say we've been saying that a lot to like next year cuz that's all you can really do is next year. We'll do it again. We'll be back in Texas will be back with the deep fried turkeys, but I do think that a big part of this is like looking strongly at the reality which is depressing but more depressing is being like we'll get a stuffed tourist exactly what in the club and bring it out and that'll be just like Thanksgiving. Like don't go that route. There's no happiness. I don't know that sounds like a lot of fun, especially if you have a very large closet nothing would thrill this family more often. I didn't like opened the closet and like busted out you get it stuffed towards giant stuffed horse. What would your three cats think though? Oh, the three cats would be thrilled right? Yep. Poor Steve ride that horse to Victory. I feel like we the three of us are completely representing the three takes on Fall. Yes. Amy's is like it's over. Let's just sit in a pool of our own depression. There's no fall going back to sleep guys. I'm like accepted it stinks and try to make the best of it and Biz, you're just like I'm bringing the fun. I'm digging the horse out of the classic off. We're going to go all nuts. We've just all decided look, you know, everything is super weird right now like beyond weird and I think one thing that could seriously be celebrating is there's going to be a lot of pressure taken off of us not from our children, but from extended families and social engagements, you know, the exact times are the holidays if you've got like brand new kids, too you love right? Who are you going to go sit for that holiday? Who are you going to go visit for Thanksgiving or for Hanukkah Song? For like all of these things create so much stress in the lives of parents that this is like a joy year actually took this is a year in which we get to be like, you know, people have fake Zoom backgrounds to make it look like they live in nice houses, right? We should have like a series of like fake ha ye scenes so that like if you zoom with somebody it looks great, but like what you're eating is like peanut butter and jelly and like having wine right? Like everybody's like in pajamas off or watching movies all day, whatever it gets to be total chaos design your own like a bet guys. You're all Off The Hook em and has to make dinner for family this year. I think this is a win your Finance because we needed to talk to you today cuz we're just like to yours and you're like, come on guys. It's a total win. I love it. This is George. This is better. Actually, right? Yeah. All right, we're all going to try to keep a little bit of business with us in our souls as we head into fall. We're going to try to make it fun. Keep a little busy in your little busy in your heart this house. She's a little busy and you tell us about one bad mother about where we can find you and about where we can get more bids in our lives so much Bez say your life have a cup of beds being sounds off about that. So one bad mother it's a comedy podcast about parenting not a parenting podcast. I know people who like those comedy podcast about parenting so only been around for about 7 and 1/2 years and we just released today episode 375. Oh and what we try to do is I have people on to remind us that there are lots of different ways to have kids in your house and lots of different ways to handle that and basically if I was going to sum it up with one goal It would be to stop feeling like garbage for being a parent. So that's kind of what we try and push and yeah, so you can find us at one bad mother down wherever you download podcasts, which could be anywhere now. I don't know awesome. Well best thanks for coming on ensuring us up about fall goodness knows we needed it. Ya know I'm always here to put a spin on it and then immediately go remind my family but everything's horrible Taco perfect positive. Thanks for talking to us. No worries by month while I am certainly dreading the weather outside is frightful life. That's getting a little closer each day. But do you know what's going to get us through? Yes, Amy I do and it is snack foods and true crime documentaries off-key week. Oh, oh that too exactly how because kiwico creates Hands-On projects for kids of all ages to make science technology engineering art and math Superfund their projects are designed by wage. Sports and tested by kids and I can tell you what they are. Super fun guys. My kids made an automatic on like a little walking robot and let me tell you they were wildly proud of themselves. The crate came with all the supplies all the directions. 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My scarf is warm and toasty fall this year. My mask is cold and damp ball last month. Okay, this is Chris. I'm crazy. But just imagine if we could skip all of the hassle of this travel and the conflict and just had like a video conference Thanksgiving fall this year. You know what I'm saying? You're a drunk and a racist and I'm muting you, you know, Grandma shut off your laptop. You shouldn't have to see this. This has been fall last year vs. Full this year out from the what fresh hell podcast. Okay, I feel like we had a lot there with Biz about how bad it's going to be but also some glimmers of how good it's going to be. Yeah, and basically our takeaways we need to go live on business block. It seems to have a lot of energy. Yes for fun. Yes. Keep in touch with your fun friends. That's what I got out of that. Right? Yeah. Yeah, there are some people still having fun. I feel like our podcast doesn't involve to like a slug through the nightmare together friends and business like woo, we're decorating. She's into it. Love it. You know, I did an Instagram live with Sarah Powers from the mom hour where we talked about and then you can go to our Instagram page and go to Instagram TV, and you can find it and I've shared it to Facebook as well. So you can find it on our Facebook page at what fresh Hell cast and we specifically talked about sort of pandemic Halloween song. It's going to be kind of want wall and she had a suggestion that was actually one of their listeners suggestions that I thought was a great idea if you've really little kids for Halloween, which was to trick or treat in your house like just have two adults and have one person dead. In the Next Room, like let's go in the bathroom. Oh who's here old trick or treat and that for your two or three year old that's with their costume on that is definitely enough excitement for them. Yeah, that's a fun idea seem like while you're putting it in like the parent runs to the other room and you go. I mean that's a really cute idea in probably only works until like maybe four. Yes, but it's cute, you know, and what we the other thing we were talking about is back in our episode. I believe it was about going on vacation. We talked about how the happiness of a vacation somebody studied it as like 65% of how much you enjoy a vacation is thinking about how much you're going to enjoy the vacation. The anticipation is a large part of the enjoyment. I think it's even higher than that. Yeah, and they say like your happiness does not go up when you're on vacation, right? The peak happiness is waiting to go back to go and so, you know, can we try to turn around a little bit of our you know dread about like, how am I going to make Thanksgiving work? It's going to be so boring to a little bit of anticipation of joy and letting the kids. Get involved in the planning because that will be a source of joy for them. Even if they're not going to see their cousins this year. Yep. Good point. We're leaning in on costumes. I never make costumes more like I'm dying the zombie bride dress gray. We're really cuz we need stuff to do, you know on the weekend? So that's like kind of a project the kids are doing a lot of it themselves. We're leaning in a bit on the costumes and I don't know where the heck they're going to go in them, but they're really looking forward to seeing them. So the CDC put out a list of alternative Halloween activities. Okay, you have to put these up because they are so fantastically awful like you have to re-post them because we don't have time to read them all but wow, they're hilarious and sad they're sort of like you might not want to do the traditional Halloween. First of all, they say if you may have covid-19. You should not give out candy to trick-or-treaters guys. Are we really at the point? We don't understand that yet. Also don't go trick-or-treating if you have covid-19 go trick-or-treating if you're actually currently shutting I feel like if you haven't got them. Memo. Yeah, you want to do a little bit more reading. So they break down the Alternatives that you might do instead of trick or treating with a bunch of strangers and to lower risk moderate risk and higher-risk activities. So we'll start with the lower risk activity. The lower risk activity is doing a Halloween scavenger hunt where children are given lists of halloween-themed things to look for while they walk out song admiring Halloween decorations at a distance. Yeah, the low-risk ones are all lamb there like carve a pumpkin. It's like and we do that already decorate your house. Yeah, we got that already. Thanks have a virtual Halloween costume contest terrible. What does that mean? Like you consumed with the cousins and like, oh you like get online and zoom and you show each other your costumes. Yeah. No just don't do that. That's worse than doing nothing. Oh really Halloween movie night. Like we didn't need ucdc we know how to do those things already. We want to trick-or-treat while the adults drink beer and the kids run around and have faith. And have a scavenger hunt style trick-or-treats search with your household members in your home. That sounds much more complicated than just. Oh look mom. He's in the bathroom trick-or-treat Daddy's in the kitchen trick-or-treating CDC didn't come up with that idea. No open-air one-way walk through a haunted forest where appropriate masky's it's depressing. What one way walk through haunted forests. That's like, I mean, we don't we're not closed on this. We're not clear where people can remain more than six feet apart and the haunted forest. Yeah, please Hansel and Gretel stay six feet apart. All right, I feel like Halloween is a disaster and office possibly kind of the least of our problems. If screaming will likely occur in the haunted forest greater distancing is advised. Oh God, I mean, let's just get out of this Amy. I'm depressed back off this list, but we're going to put it up because you should peruse your own and then not do any of those things. And of course like maybe just say no Halloween or yes Halloween, but this is not the right thing. Well, I feel bad. That because they're in a tough spot, but I feel like this is not that fun. Let's leave the brainstorming to the five year olds, cuz with the grown-ups came up with is Wawa. All right leaving Halloween behind now we're heading into I think one thing that's been really hard for me is like thinking about I kind of feel like I had it in my mind that we were the holidays were going to be. Okay. They were going to be mitigated. Okay. Yes by now. We were going to be coming out of it. They're not going to be mitigated. Okay, and I have a unique situation in that everyone. I see at the holidays is a plane flying away. And so we're not doing any of that and that's a super bummer and this is where I can't really decide whether or not we're going to hunt on everything and just be like it's pizza and a movie for Thanksgiving or whether we're going to try to Cobble together something that will be possibly a sadder version than pizza and a movie, you know, I was definitely dead. For talking to Sarah on the Instagram live. I was definitely leaning more towards forget it. It's not the same any way like there's a tradition in New York City. If you're Jewish on Christmas day, everybody goes to a movie and then goes to a Chinese restaurant cuz that's what's open on Christmas day. Right? Like it's like the giant group opted out and I always thought that sounded kind of fun. So I thought like okay, that's what I'm going to do for Thanksgiving. I'm going to do whatever that equivalent is of just like we are not doing something different. But now that I have kind of come around to the planning thing can be fun can be most of the fun and letting my youngest kid is now thirteen years old girl. She's still young enough that if you get her on the right day and in the right moment will be a twinkle in a ride to talk about how to make Christmas fun this year. You know what I'm saying? Like that can still happen for kids even middle schoolers. And I think that meaning in fact that is worthwhile because it will be fun. I forgot that that's also the fun part. I agree and I have come to the same place as that. I have to remember that my biggest job right now is behave My kids Guide to the holidays, which I always so I think it'll be really different and pretty depressing for me, but I don't really think my kids will notice the difference as month. Like what am I going to make a turkey and the answer is yes. I'm going to make a turkey and then we're going to go outside and throw the football around together and then we're going to watch the parade with our blueberry muffins that we make every Thanksgiving morning. I'm not sure there's going to be a grade. You're right God. Oh my God, you know what it is. There's no parade. I know I was just thinking like, well, there's no parade. You've just ruined my home day cuz your exact it's like, you know when the lights go out and then you're like, oh it's okay. You know what I'll just make myself a smoothie and you're like the blender doesn't work either that's fine. You know what I'll just whatever turn on the entry and you're like no nothing works. Oh my God, Amy. I was like, oh it'll be fine cuz we're trying to watch the parade in the morning. It's not going to be a parade. What am I thinking about? It's going to be virtual. I'm not sure what that means. I think they're just going to have reruns of moments from other years, which is great. You know, what if your kids are little they don't understand. And that it's a patched together rehash put it on you got three hours of them and trance in front of the TV while you have the oven turned on its great. I'm still just sitting here absorbing no parade, but you're right. No parade, of course. What am I thinking? Yeah, no parade happening live, but they're still going to are the parade if you feel me and I think I mean I really think the thing to do is to cross over Alina and like we're truly thinking of Thanksgiving of like we have like a phone at every seat with like different family members on zooms. Like we're going to try to make it like and then you just lean into the silly name of it. You know, like how's it going grandma? And she's sitting there, you know, whatever we end up putting together. We try to just make it as much as it can be. Yeah, and I mean, this is just an annoying point because I'm kind of not in the mood for the like Pollyanna version of any of this but I do think that this year has been really really dead. Hard on the grown-ups and hard on the kids in a lot a lot of ways but also really memorable and exciting for the kids in a lot of ways and I think some of the memories that my kids really carry through this is some of the stuff like we just built they built him and I had nothing to do with that. My kids are such a good age cuz they can do a lot of stuff they built like a three-story cat house out of cardboard boxes off and they'll remember that like remember when we made that box and I don't know I think there's just a ton of stuff. I make a family calendar every year with pictures like a Shutterfly calendar off. Yeah, the Shutterfly accounts like my gift to like the family I give it to people and my sister said well, what's the calendar going to be? And I said, I think it's going to be a year of people wearing masks and that's going to be memorable to you know, hopefully we look at this as like, oh my God remember that year, you know and I think that's okay just this morning. My daughter was telling me on the way to school that she has to interview a family member. About something historical time in their lives and did I think her grandparents would you know have some historical times in their lives? They could talk about and like yeah, I think they've got Civil Rights Movement, you know, JFK assassination have got a few for you and then of course our conversation went to as it always does and just imagine one day your grandchildren will be asking you about today about right now. You are living through an extremely unusual and historical time. Yeah. What was it like Grandma? It's hard to imagine that but that's a great Point. Yeah, and you know and she kind of like I was saying before she took you can now access the magical part of herself still, you know, she's still got the child in her and her eyes, you know went up into the right like she does when she's really imagining something and she was thinking about that. Yeah, something else that our listeners. We have a listener who reached out to me because I said something in this Instagram live about a Sears catalog that I was the kind of kid who would pour over this is an oldie locks alert the Sears catalog. Back in my day was A Christmas Wish book that would come and it was like five hundred pages long, right? It would come in the mail and was this a huge part of your Christmas anticipation like lying on the floor and circling what you wanted. What was the Toys R Us catalog but I think basically the same idea. Yeah you pour over this catalog and I'd Circle what I'd want and then it make a list of like two hundred things that I wanted PS and I would put stars next to the things that were kind of I listed some items as optional one point very kind of you like this is optional Santa but the love and the care and the time that I put into that list is half of what I remember about getting ready for Christmas. I defy you to name three items that you received off that list. Yeah. I mean something like the Barbie head that you could like fix a tear. I don't know but the remembrance is not of the day the thing arrived it's of the thrill of imagining what could be yes, so there's so much off. We're to talk about and I think maybe in a couple of weeks we'll do another episode as we get into like the darkness and the togetherness and the no more outside dining is and sort of hack away a little bit at how are we met at literally survive indoors together cuz we barely talked about that and I think that's one of the biggest things that's going to be hard about far-right any ideas. But I do think the biggest takeaway and the solid it from this episode is remembering that the top of the triangle should be anticipation and making plans that are fun because the execution of the may not be what we wanted them to be but the kids will remember the anticipation. Yes, and I need to not wet blanket that by sort of, you know being like, oh, I can't believe we're not going to be able to go to you know, the the houses Your Instinct like I need to not do that because I will our kids think this is all terrible maybe a little less than we do. Yeah, and our kids will respond to it as we model that they suck. And I think for both of us, this was a really helpful episode record because yes, we both need to remember that. Yes solved it. I'm going to go outside and enjoy the crunchy leaves crunching a me get yourself a cider in a scarf and Frolic you're like frolicking like down like a garbage screw string string be like, oh guys. We want to know what you're worried about for fall what you're excited about. Do you have any really good fall hacks? Cuz I think we will be revisiting this topic come to our Facebook page facebook.com cast. We're also on Instagram and Pinterest. There's got to be some good fall hacks on there right come join us at what fresh hell cash. We're also on Twitter at wfh podcast. Yeah, not sure there's fall hacks are coming from us on Pinterest but there's other people there who might be able to help you out. No, no. No, but I type in some there. So you did, you know to fall activities for kids board that I'm pinning other people's good ideas. That's up Interscope. All right, that's how it works, right? Yep. Going to put the CDC Halloween Sad Sack ideas up on our website, which is what fresh hell podcast.com poor c d c they've got enough problems without us goofing on them. But you know, what? Are we going to do? Try they try page guys that was from we'll talk to you next week so long.