RAV | Responding to Racial Criticisms on the Ice with Greg Mauldin
Everybody's shaking note in here professional hockey player and mental health coach advocate, all of the above, my good buddies over sports, E for newer, and I did a podcast together about a year ago and ever since we've been keeping in touch grain content podcast now, so if anybody out there is interested in doing the same having their own podcast or wants some type of contact creation. Don't hesitate to reach out to those guys at sports, leaper Noor, they are willing and able to help you out and after listening, don't hesitate and leaving a review, and then you'll get much more access to all a Mike content across the sports equal more platform. L. Everybody. It's Jacob doing here again. With another episode of the RAV podcast raw authentic invulnerable on today's episode. I've got my very very good friend. My main man just kinda crazy. We played together all the way back in two thousand eleven with the at that time Lake Erie monsters in the AHL now they are Cleveland. Monsters but like last last episode was talking. With with Alexander, minor thereabouts playing with many many different players throughout my career in my junior days in college days, and for some reason you keep in touch with salmon, and some don't then there's no really reason or it, but Bob Greg in myself always kept in touch again. We played together in two thousand eleven. and. We're actually fortunate enough to have played against each other this season. And so anyhow I'm GONNA. Now turn it over to Greg and let him introduce himself and then Yeah, anyhow, Greg, take it over brother. Say first off. Thanks for having been Pretty Weird that we've been by for so long and the hockey world. Everything's so crazy, actually seen each other. Three or four times so A good friendship, but yeah, Greg Mauldin Small town in Holliston Massachussetts about thirty minutes west of Boston. grew up there born and raised. played my youth hockey there till. High, school. Nigerian junior and senior, the junior bruins Got A scholarship to UMASS Amherst by played three years in. Turn pro at the. Age Of twenty one thing and I was going to be an initial superstar. Outlets does some chromebook curve balls at Ya and then I just Kinda. You know. It's the Myers a little bit whatever Europe then Kinda refound myself and came back to the plan. The American League and we're GONNA. Have to get into. You know thirty some odd NHL Games and Off The last Late season to so implant in Europe and playing enough five years in Switzerland when Germany. Croatia and year and a half in an arena so you're. Both love that buddy will again. Thank you so much for for taking the time out of your day to be on this. I'm sure there's going to be many people that will listen to this gain a lot of insights into life into of course your life. But I just I want hop right into its. And maybe you could speak on some of your past experiences in terms of racial discrimination You had mentioned to me Was It last seasons ago? I think when you're in Croatia. that maybe some type of incident had taken place with fans or something like that, so if you'd be willing to to maybe share some of that with with the listeners, yeah, asthma problem so that she had a to occasions such as that. Most recent was in Croatia are wasn't crushed I'm sorry as planning for my team. ZAG REMOVED PLAYING IN A. Austrian team and me and this other guy. A Jordan Samuel Thomas is also was also black. We're actually we're trying to same line. We're having a really good game and you know next. Drew a penalty and you start hearing. He will make monkey sounds in you know doing the arms and stuff like that and It's kind of interesting of those things. It was such an intense game at that point that you're. An offer. I were so focused on trying to win the game that you don't really take it in until to get on the bench in the news like what the heck's. Happening and for him and I don't know I think. You know funny thing is that I actually coached him when he was a little bit younger. Or younger so. We. Didn't even think about it to be honest to the such as two-game Sultan's and it was actually you know. One of those things that effort happened. we're in the locker room. Some of the guys seem to be more offended in shot. towards it, which was very nice, was a very. You know knowing that you teammates have your back like that And then even later on the league came out within issue. We know with a statement saying if this ever happens again, you know these repercussions and coach you know had a meeting with the whole team and said like. Listen this the end we're walking off. The Isis is not acceptable. crew, situation so it was really nice to know that. Everyone had our back You know that's just unfortunate. That's the way the way it goes in you know could have been one or two people to get someone else started i. don't WanNa to. Even see the save at town because I don't want judge a whole group of people on you know. Handful cables actions right arms. But interesting enough as What happened Chris? You were our team folded Later on that team actually tried to get me to go there and play for them, and it was like. Nah I can't do it I'm sorry I. It just doesn't. doesn't sit well with me that you know. At one point were making monkey in Saint. Whatever racial stuff to me that I don't own a different language in an all sudden. They want me there to help them. I can't do that at a principal so. That was one occasion I was most recent and the only one that I really had with fans whereas out house was reading That was more that was more. At felt more their to their team was getting killed at the time of that game in a skit on the ice in a monkey sounds of being made, and all that sort of thing, and you look at Stanton in all people giving me this thing like that and you know we've off in a second I'm just like Oh my God leitch. I've. Never. Gotten while every Swedish prisoner been around I. I you know dirty player or anything like that so to have that happen. I was very shocked. End once again. You don't want judge a whole. Town or even team by? A handful of people and going through the hand Glenn. McGrath that game out shaking. My head is still going on. You know we're adults now and their you know. Their team skated by and shook. My hand, said. Hey, you know apologize. That's that's dumb. Stop that you can't leave. That happened in apologize. Would I. Thought was really Nice that they apologized for. Their fans once again. It's it's. Growing up I think I was kind of. Tatyana aged. These things might happen. so gave me the tools as I got older to to deal with it. Go to that As Young Hawk player. My my dad prepared me very well for that actually. and I don't know thinking about I don't know how how you go about that. As you know talented eight year old that this is something happened that you are different and you a different sport that. Not Hockey players and You're entering a different world. You know how was dealt within I think he did a good job a very good job and handled it in stride because outset of those two incidents. as a pro hockey player never had. Anything in a sixteen year career I had a lot more stuff when I was younger You know there a lot of fights A lot of fights on a scrap a lot of Just stuff that we dislike are this stuff is being that each? You don't really know right, so it's obviously being taught to him somehow from somebody in that that's that's a sad thing. I think when you look back line now, Aren't just come up with this. You know you don't know those kind of words as a kid at. Eight, nine ten years old united and those kids I. Don't really know the impact. They had on it But obviously I did at that age and. head. I remember. Last week before it turned, pro was. As in high school and you know as I was having a really good game and I guess the guy. Is the best way to get under the skin and Yeah, it was you know I wanted to win the game so bad I dealt with snow before now he's younger. You know so I to the right thing you know. He kind of said the kids get away so Get after What give them a push? I. Said something to the coach and the coach likes you know. Trying to get the ruffled sears incident here that this is This can't be happening. This is an away game and some losing in. My Dad obviously he knows my reaction. He sees what's going on in then. Somehow I get a penalty and we tally walks in them. They're just all out brawl on the ice I stop out. My teammates were jumping over it was it was actually really really awesome. know, look back and thinking about those guys On world the box, young, the other team like young talent the chaos. You'll be racist now. That's router trying to taking you know. And we'RE GONNA. Take it to that level yeah, it's it's. It's something that unfortunately it's. It's happened, but I've never. It's it's it's one of those things I guess I was prepared as unfortunate, a young kid. With it that. Growing up. You know. In, those situations facing I. Mean there aren't letting song right in my face, and that does as kid But. Yet he just it's. It's so unfortunate and it just goes to show that. You know. That stuff is still out there, and in certain places in people still don't understand the full meaning of of you know what it is and how it affects people. But everyone everyone deals at that stuff in their own way. Yes, yeah, for sure and. In my question to you would be then you know. It sounds like your father did an incredible job at like you said preparing you. You know equipping you with the tools necessary to overcome those those those situations. Those experiences because I think that. Had you not had maybe those lessons that your father was teaching? You know when you're eight nine ten. I would imagine it happened throughout your teenage years. You know maybe little things here and there, but had you not had those tools? Wouldn't you say it probably would have had a much bigger health are impact? Excuse me on your mental state on it again. If you didn't have those tools at your father gave you yes, for sure think back on how he prepared me in those ways and. I look back probably at a nearby like man if I say this, if you if think that was probably a little harsh, but it wasn't the caudal in a you know. There there. was that but at the same time it was more like hey, this. This stuff will happen in life. this will not enforcing the last time that this happens and You know just even that young as I like the way you responded to it. you know he obviously not everyone's racist. Not everyone say this kind of things like there's GonNa. Be a handful of bad apples out there that say these things and. You know you can't let it consume you in a way that. You know you're thinking that saints back is saying from because it's not going to be like that right In. Mental at a young age. I was. Thinking back I'm really happy that I was able to process it that way and. Not, let? It take over because. There are For every one or two incidents there I've had a billion amazing once you know I've had my team is step up and my back, and and that sort of thing and. Show their character, and there there are people know. That there's alignment crossed right and at and that kind of stuff. Yeah, the the the side that he kinda puts me was listen. This is going to happen and. The situation about it. You can go about fighting all the time and he's like I. Haven't had no. Problem with that like you to stand up for yourself on at some Philis. Or you can. Kind of just. You know keeping on wrong that you know your key play. You can play as a matter of black white yellow, whatever you can play a game and doesn't matter. You're going to keep on rolling. Off I tried to use it as fuel SAM's. We're going back to you. Being. One of the better players at that age. In other parents may be scared. No okay anything trial to the steamer. That's in that they can make. You know. Maybe they don't want me taking. There's some spot or An! That's what the thing is I. Don't know I. Don't know all cut from a handful. Teams Young made. thanks is racially motivated I. Don't know But those are some of the best things that ever happened to me were not making those teams looking back at it and if they had to do it all over again. if you kind of switched to that side of it like at that age, still you know waiting up. The phone call us even made the. Top Team in two times where I didn't make it back to back years. Ball and being in tears and you know. jus- cry myself to sleep at night. at San Hey. Listen Lakes located. Make that scene, but. You gotTa keep on moving forward. You'RE GONNA pay in that same lady at the play. That team against you get a chance to prove yourself against them wrong and. You know I kind of always kept that mentality. I guess it's You. Someone's always watching rate. If someone's always watching and you can keep proving yourself new is the tuition goal body can either you know try and Salkin, and and just up for me, or you can do something about it, and it's a very fine line on because I. Think there is that Cuba people need that time to. decompress in just. Let it out and be upset as long as you don't let it. Snowball today, decide where you can't can't get back to be who you are. What you really want to do right absolutely, and you could probably even translate that to the same thing of happen. Those racial situations happen right. You could sit there and Sulk, and and be mad and kind of allow that situation to use U. Rights, or you could, you could turn it around and allow it to feel you to to be a better person to use these people's. Unfortunate actions feel you to to be a better greg to understand that that is wrong. No matter again. If you're black or you're, you're of any type of color or even white. I think there is some stuff that goes on. Against White, people, you don't hear those stories rights, but I think it's important for people to hear this lesson here. About Greg is saying that he did allow to get him down, and and you know maybe goal the other direction, maybe become a bad person himself right to use it as motivation to stay true to who he was, as as a human rights, and continue making the right decisions in life, because at a certain points, maybe not so much again like you had mentioned when you were younger at eight nine ten years old, so much of our behavior at that time in our lives is learned behavior rights, but On the other hand when you're playing professional hockey to season to go in, these fans are doing these things. These people know they know exactly what they're doing. They know how wrong it is right and I a lot about so much of what people put out. There is just pure projection of how they're feeling on the inside, so I would certainly imagine that these individuals whether it be in Austria or Sweden. The ones that started the ones that were doing. It weren't doing too well in their own personal life, and that's why they acted the way they did right, but. Knew that. It wasn't people that were feeling good about themselves in their own lives you. Know, and it's a time I. go back to these instances. It's never been a one on one thing where someone's my face and done it because. You know in hockey of glass in between. Everyone's really tough when there is no, no, you can't get anyone mike bad so. It was one of those things honestly Wasn't there wasn't much sleep on either face to be honest because it was. Additional how how a group of people can be and Kind of go back on that to You know as you get older and stuff like that. People make subtle jokes in that sort of stuff, and it's one of those things that I've. Had to deal with, and luckily there's a line like. You're tiptoeing it don't cross in like I said most guys. Are Very respectful and this game. As having got guys have been making jokes haven't haven't fun but you know I. Think at a young age since I was prepared. For and mentally I was very confident myself to lake. This is what allow to to I'm willing to put up with anything more. Knowledge Let people know right away that they're crossing the line and I think that's something that Took me a little bit to get used to doing because I. don't very more passengers. Be Confrontational, but at the same time. I know I have that Sami that Oh Kaley. You've crossed the line like your tips online like hey Manley. Let's talk about this for seconds of had that teammate and he knew he didn't mean. All jokes and stuff like that but. At one top of them and he is like amount of like Isaac I didn't. Know thought you know like. You know not. You know what I mean. And he wholesome, he was dumbfounded like Oh my God. My that guy and mural immediately was just over west right? I didn't think back on it. You know I get you know. It's been fine and I think there was a lot of stuff that if I wasn't prepared, mentally at a young age gone through these kind of things. I wouldn't have the confidence to do that and I. Think a lot of things our confidence comes from. A little check it over the humps of hassle that was hadn't her life or using situations to. Grow grow into who we are are how we're GONNA define ourselves. We're GONNA GONNA do because I. Think Everyone whether. Athlete whether we're GonNa, business or something You know we can we can. Kinda draw back on? Other stuff in used as fuel or use it as a growing experience to grow to grow mentally and become mentally stronger You know whether it's you know for hockey, guys. Have to do these extra spreads in. Blah, blah bag as in a lot of it isn't so much about the conditioning about. Can you battle through a mentally and get through it? It's just like people in the army. It's not about you're gonNA. Be doing all these. Tough at the time it is Can You mentally battles? Who was your mental capacity yet to stick with it, and and not give in to? That I guess that quick kind of mindset right Where were you tap out and that's? I guess what I try to use in my own life for a lot of things In all especially when we're. Going through the summer trainings or the bags gates, or in actually that stuff very easy for me. That's the physical very easy from in actually the mental chance for me. Is it the coming home and You know making cook a good meal lake are not taking that or or make sure you know. Make It on paying the bills on time doing those little business stuff works. For me, that's where. Of Agriculture. My inner bitch comes out. I'm just like Oh. Man, I don't WanNa do that and I and I, hate saying that listen you guys on. Youtube and he talks about. Other people this is. I've been raised in had more success with coaches that have been harder on me. Just for me, that's not for everyone right? I've actually so when I say myself. A minor bitch or bit for me. That's Mason Age. I would want someone else to do this in you're this. This is not who you WANNA be in. That's why call my alter ego, when I'm not doing things according to who I believe I am, right. In one one thing on the touch on to go back a little bit before we get to far away from it is you know? Gregg mentioned that he's not the most confrontational guy which is fine I'm the same way, but we have our boundaries right. We have enough self confidence, and we have enough self respecting ourselves so that when that person is join that lie that line that Greg, he's able to speak up, but there are also many people that are saying not confrontational, but don't have that self respect. Respect net self confidence to speak up. The chances are then maybe there are a little bit fragile mentally right, so I would imagine that again. There's there's going to be many people in the world that have had the very very same types of experiences as you, and maybe these guys are are tiptoeing on that line, and instead of this person, just speaking their truth in. Hey, buddy, you're right there. Incentive that they internalize it. They go home, and now they're going with the mental health. Stop Rights in. All too often, unfortunately in society, today received so many people. Commit suicide and killing themselves because they're not able to just step up for themselves. They don't have that confidence that respects the view exactly what Greg has done many times in his past. So again I think there's a lot of lessons to be learned here from what Greg is saying. And I think one. We could say just to speak up. Not Be afraid so much about the the reaction. You might get from somebody if you do speak up because then you're caring more about that person than you are. Yourself writes Continue, no, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Just continue to add onto that. I think. You know a lot of people aren't confrontation or take Kinda take it It is a IT CNN n people it is. A very powerful thing to. To to stand up for yourself, More verbally than physically. I think physically it's. For Geyser, some people comes naturally world that we're in of the hawk, deliver natural, but to do it more verbally It's a very powerful thing and for stone that's going through something that will like that learns that other at work or something like that. You know whether it's a boss or something like you know you bossing something to you. always found that. The best way even with lace. In the school yard gets bigger than you are I think probably the best way to go about it and try not to internalize I do see people do that. We see people. All the time in hockey will something goes wrong. They take it home. You. You. have to set those boundaries for yourself and maybe write him down or even just whatever you practice it in the mirror or something and one of the biggest ways that do you don't come at the person who's maybe engaging in a negative way you can say. No disrespect, but I don't really like the way you come at right now, You know. We gotta talk about this and I found in those cases whether it's not even hockey whether. People at the gym or or stuff like that age even possibly dislike kind of annoying to like as time right now. Most of the time people very, if you said that with the kind of caught off guard, they bigger Kinda put back on their heels a little bit, and then they kinda feel on Vk taken back and I think that gives you. A little bit of an edge. Edge late, just a Haley. I'm away here I have boundaries, and then whether whether it goes from there. At least you can kind of I think, go home and be like. I did something for myself and manage pushing a better state of mind that has stood up for myself today, and maybe not carrying the weight home as much as as much as it would be if he's kind kinda like maybe just kind of took it in internalize. I've done a lot of that to you. Take it home. You take it home in the internalize it. Start to go stir crazy like managed. I could have done that in. The next. Upset with yourself I think that's the mental depression comes from in. That's where you know what happens once as okay happens over and over and over again. I can easily see how people. Help people go to get to a certain level of committing suicide or really have these mental health issues because? It can it really only takes? You know one time to have Something just? Go negative and people take it to heart I. Mean You could, you could tell someone you know good job. Good job. Good job, good job for the whole year, but you say hey. That wasn't that great in. That's what people hang onto. Yes, and I think one of the best ways for people to kind of practice. Is. Now is social media. Man We post something on social media. It's you get a billion likes. You get one person that comment saying like. That's that's Photoshop. That's you look fat or global and I think that's a good way to kind of practice like. An intake I have. Positive things that one person lake at person means nothing much take. The other stuff makes just feel good. Take a wet negative away because. He said early that person has something going their own life with the fact that they need to take time out. You know how bad something is rightly. And it's. Different when when you can, you can kinda switched over to what the people did. During the game, right? They had that that the glass in front of them rights of the last. That was the computer hope. Hundred election again. They would never say this face to face. Because now. They got to deal with potential consequences. Were that actions you know? and. One thing I wanted to just throw in here in terms of a story which I'm not even sure. If you remember this happening, but it will the tip toeing the line and you stepped up. In this just actually came to me, so it was when we were playing together we're playing for Cleveland. We had a practice at our practice facility in strong still where I actually wind up training sometimes in the summer because I live in Cleveland now, but yeah, we were just in the lounge one day before practice you and I, in one other guy was sitting on the couch for all talk, and you were actually sitting on the counter where the TV was, and we always watching Nhl highlights and everything Tony. How are you I? You and I are in conversation and again I? Don't know if you remember this, but somebody actually throwing a banana peel at you. And again I don't think you remember that, but immediately right in that moment you you immediately, your attention was each instantly taken away from our conversation and you. You'd stepped up. You spoke up to that guy right away. Hey, man! That's not cool I. Think those were your actual like is exactly what you said. Hey, man, that's not cool. And he instantly stood like like you said he was taken aback. Not Expecting you to do that? He was expecting you to maybe last that it was an okay job in. That to me that you. And I think eventually to him. It's not okay. There's no way that that's okay. That's me is in some ways a lot worse than what the fans were doing. You know because that's kind of his face to face in a sense. do you even remember that now? The mentioned that I do it was will sing that. I'm. Very good kind of the united me and like boom happen. Let go, yeah. Now, he's now, you said do member I do. Know who it was yeah. Oh. Yeah, like like I said there's. There's lines like that to me on. That's not even that's a non-negotiable lake. Of course, that's that's like. You're apologizing or than for me. There's there's a bigger problem and right there. Even at that. Age going back to it. Not so much on the ice or whatever, but the thing like you know. I remember my dad telling me. Telling me talent lady. If he ever heard that I was just kind of went someone do that to me. Enough Myself. It'd probably more. It'd probably be more upset with me more. There'd be more Republicans. Have and I don't WanNa make use of the bad guy, but he just didn't want me to one of those people that. was bullied an adaptive especially when you are smaller and that sort of thing but yeah. That's you know. Fortunately. That's the limit at the same time that will that we live in I would rather have the way. It was back then where people had to do stuff face to face. If you're going to be able. Face to face was also social media, and the one thing would be a bully. There's at the office at School University. You had to face if you did a face to face those at chance. After, maybe so many times song fed up and punched and. Everyone. You know everyone you don't can be tough. They're behind a computer behind the glass, but you have to face to face. It's different than especially with people. If they've taken taken at with face to face one time in. I don't WanNa. Condone obviously any of these school shootings that have happened or something like that, but people can only take so much before they. You know they snap, or they need an outlet and if you don't have the proper outlet. Or someone to talk to even numb to on tour. Things can happen I. Mean I know for me. I did a lot of writing in journals. Just Most mostly just because because. I wouldn't be able to get. Away from me to mentally get over a bad game. Lori a Good Game Rama Ashes Monty have a good been more detrimental to my. success in anything. If I didn't write it down in and get it, 'cause mentally thinking. So much better The maybe I was and I need to. Be Away from you to channel whatever emotions feeling in that game, and and let it go. Prepare for the next one right and. That for me was a lot of. The struggles. Pro Hockey player to at a younger age Mentally was very tough for me, yeah! I think I think. Like you I've seen a lot of coaches again I said I actually. Find myself if this is something that's messed up with me a little bit Just in the. Way I was brought up late. Grab a very stern, please turn household, loving, but stern baby direct very honest, and I've thrived under coaches such as that yeah or like. I need the any kind of my face. Yelling me be very directly. Good job. Bad Job scared of that guy. You take that hit. And Sometimes Mental Madman. This guy's such a jerk on ledge. I need this. I need this this. This helps me helps me a lot. But I'm able as also I'm able to cope with a because of my upbringing my pass. We're seeing some as. Mentally breakdown. Breakdown and they can't. They can't play for that. That coach anymore has. In I think as a coach. It's spot knows it's about being a little bit of a psychologist who and figuring where people are mentally guys. You can push the button. Which would you can? Because I think a lot of coaches say no, it's my aware of the high. We're going to do it this way. Which is fine for someone like myself like that? You can handle that you can process it. But there's a lot of guys that can't do it that way in the ones that can't. They're not only to their skills. diminishing decrease, but had a to want to play hockey you know. Going home isn't the same anymore because. From me, going to make is a fun place in if I was in that state, a guys in that state were they like. Being at the arena, but if they're not having fun and mentally getting, beat up by the coach, they can't handle it. Then all seddon their love, and their joy at the rank is like okay. Why don't have that here in a foreign country? Don't have any of my friends around. So how do I deal with that and even forgot that? Can deal with it. One of my teammates, he's created significant other in the locker room and Will were each other kind of a mental coach. Here in there 'cause you know there tends when when I go through tables, beyond like having him there. Is Awesome because. If I'm going well. He's not Lake I can you? Give my energy to him and mentally pick him up. You know from. What he's feeling and. You know. I can do the same thing. He does the same thing for me. And it can change in how quick changes in Gamache you mentally you're. You're in a bad spot, and then you're spot and You know I think all of us as Hockley. We've gone through it. At some point in. For every. Because native will for me stable at hockey players and things that have gone to. There's billions of good guys. That I've come across that Keep in touch with you. Know you being one of them that? We shot back so much quoted mental stuff together in this motivational stuff where I think that's where my mind is mostly a motivational stuff that had to keep people motivated upbeat You. Know size in the mental health stuff. Yeah, yeah, for sure it's. It's interesting, you know. We were on the phone a little bit earlier. Was it yesterday but actually when I think about it now it's. Had it not been for you. Who knows if I ever would have gone down the path of of working on mental game on the mental training because. Back again when we were playing in two thousand eleven I'll never forget I was I was I might have actually been. We had a team like dinner or thanksgiving, or something like that at the owner's house, and we were driving home after, and I was on the phone with you and you had brought up the book. Mein Jim to me. And just said you kind of bring it around with you everywhere. It was like your your quote, Unquote, Bible and from that moment the first thing I did, I think you know when I got home, was I went and ordered that book where I went to the the Barnes and noble, or whatever bought that book and again. That book was instrumental for me in terms of of my hockey career, and then that that book led to another book which led to another, and before you know it. I I am now able to handle these things that you speak about in terms of coaches of streaming and things like that because now I, have the tools rights to overcome these things in what rakes in about two is you know having that outlet having that person to speak to? You know maybe if you don't have this guy. Guy In the locker room sitting right next. Maybe if he's simply across the locker room. Maybe you guys don't build this type of connection where you can both come to each other with this type of stuff, and now you have the understanding. You guys are going through this together, and it's so much more powerful when you can share with a person where you guys are on the same path, right, you're in, so everything's very similar to one another right, and real quick. I wanted to go back. And, again I had this in my mind I. DIDN'T WANNA? Lose it before we move on, but in terms of speaking up for yourself. Right you had mentioned that it happens over and over and over again and people never do never do, but also understand people. Is that by speaking up for yourself? You do it the first time you're GONNA gain confidence through it so that the next time that's same situation happens because inevitably. It's going to happen again again now. You can look back on your past. Past experience of speaking up and now it's a little bit not as heavy. Maybe you don't care so much about what this other person might think. And then again you're going to do it and you're gonna every time you do. It must now building momentum for yourself, and eventually can have that confidence to speak up really in any situation in your life, right? So as Greg just some incredible insights, your your plan out there and next next thing I wanted to talk about. You know you spoken so much already about about your father. What people don't know is that your father has passed away? And so that's what I would like to jump into an again. How that had an impact on? You sounds like you and your father had an incredible relationship, maybe stern at times, but like you said fun loving on so there may be. There was a good balance right on to where you had. I would imagine you had such high respect for your father Yeah, so you know losing some obviously so close to you. I would imagine certainly played a significant role in your mental state. Yeah Obviously a tough time in my life as my senior year of high school three days before Christmas you cannot have his battling cancer, so you kinda see. Taken taken. Shape and everything like that and This little thing ee start to see guy physically looked up to you. Know the time together on, and then getting you know calls before late 'cause he. He was at home in bad. He didn't want to be in the hospital after all the testing you know. My mom called me to come home because he thought of the bed. Neta you know. Pick up that I looked up to physically and take him up and put him in bed. That stuff was really. Really tough for me. To the point where. That happened enough where? You're almost like are. Nonni from the suffering Let's go. Let's in you. Start wishing for him to pass on. Because you can't I couldn't talk on the same way and these things I didn't WanNa, remember him and the way that he was wrong like. His last moments. but he said like we had agreed relationship growing up very fun loving, but I got the understanding of. hockey's expensive. Work out there, but more importantly have fun, and that's what I try to take with me with now and I think. That was probably the first I guess psychology lesson ever had. was worked hard and have fun and. To me, that was everything. Worked hard and have fun. It's so simple, but. It's always carried with me. but yes, going back to to him. Pass away, It was tough. It was it was really tough. But I think it was handled in a proper manner Assuming at some point, my mom and him had conversations on what would happen because I think you could come. See the writing on the wall. But the ones had will. Give credit to My Mom, a ton of credit was. which I don't know if they'd talked about. Not the. Nothing was nothing essentially changed Hey after vacation I don't WanNa go back to school. It's like Nope, you're right back on the course. By the School League Even to the point where I'm not even sure, they talked to my junior coach time. Who Once I came back it was. Not The is like. If you the same way the same. As. You know what I mean like doesn't change like relate law this I. Remember thinking at the Time Lake. I can't do this a stupid way you know. But I remember at Daschle Funeral. My mom wearing all white because we wanted to the celebrate. Celebrate the life even though. Was Fifty six. It was short. You want to celebrate. The life and I was at a place. Mentally to say to myself. Okay. Eighteen when he passed away. That sucks. That's not fair. Use ended. She Blah Blah. But there's. Handfuls handful building up there either don't get to meet her dad. Don't have. The good relationship that we had You know don't have the connections. Don't have oldest better everything to meet him sitting here. Thinking I had eighteen. Years. Got To know him probably more so more people because of a car rides talk Tournaments the goofing around. is all that kind of stuff that I think. Allowed me to take the AD and. To say. It's okay, you know it's it's. It's okay. I have great memories of him and. I wouldn't change I. Don't get me wrong even now that I'm older it does. It gets a pretty sad sometimes when people have their data games pro loud, and that sort of thing But it's. You know. Come to terms with the life is not stare. and. It'll kind of interesting kind of going back on it 'cause. You Know My might use a coach when I ask. You know obviously very, you know. You know remorseful about The situation stuff like that But he treated me very much the same way and I remember. Set a handful years back. Three years two years back. His Dad passed away. So he's much older now. He's in his forties and. ADDS much older. His Dad passes away go to. The funeral and still very close to them. I remember after we're hanging. We're talking. He said you know I. Don't understand how you. Did what you did at eighteen. And came back and. I still Kinda kept on your the hard way that I did and you. In. East stayed with Eagles because right now. I'm an absolute mess. He was he goes. He goes in your eighteen us. You're just becoming forties now with the family of my own, and I am distraught handling. and. It was kind of interesting. He turned to me was. I, have to give you so much more credit now. For how you handle everything at that age. And plan hockey then going on to finish out the season in unbelievable and enduring since he did with all that. You know that mentally in your head weighing on you and he goes now here. I am just A. Comb family was. I couldn't even give myself. At a bed and and do the same. A father, he's like I. Used to be so much better for doing that and I think that has a lot to do with just. The Way I turned. My Mom. Turned it into. We're not GONNA make. it is sad up at into a sad event. We're GONNA. You know. Honor him by celebrating his memory in the Best thing I think. through me, which makes everything a lot easier is. This stuff that I say or do that might man I sound just like. My Mom, my sister, everyone's like you. Do all these similar things and That's the way I've been able to get get over. That stuff and sometimes it's. Even now it's. Eighteen years later, so it's more. It's still A. It's still very tough like I? Said I see people their. Own. My Dad's in town. The Games in Is is the Beckham. Socks Lake is this summit? Ask you a guy should have. been able to do. With Not It, just the way things going. YOU KNOW I! Try to find a way to. You know tonner him in. Working hard and having fun absolutely. Yeah. I think of get a little emotional I think going back on the team. That was tough. You know you. You think that the world should just stop. For you. And the one thing that I learned is a dozen people be at the white people at the funeral. And, it doesn't stop. People will feel sorry for you, but they have their own less to go on with. Because as they are best friends, or whatever doesn't mean that, don't feel sorry for you, but they have their own problems to go on with. And they will be there. I'm sure if you talk to him, but. You're on your own, but you have to find a way. Sometimes, it's to cope with on your own and and. Being a good place when you're alone because. I think all the distractions around whether you're. Whether at the rank, you're at work or something at school. Sometimes the distractions can help you forget. Or you go to parties, tubby. Forget about were going through, but. Find when you're alone. That's when those thoughts creep into the into your head. Right You know when you're land at bed. You can't sleep and then every every. Sort of you know critter. Couples heads comes to life for some odd reason and. It You gotTA those demons. The Bachelors are sometimes I know I still. Have the extent were a lot of people do but. Everyone's still has her own demons right no matter how. was still going through something so I think if I could say something to anyone is. No Don't dismiss people Just. You don't think that they're going with his answer. It's not as big as you be. Because everyone's got something going on Lice, everyone, everyone's some certain at the huddle trying to get past or over and just to even be. There's to talk like I had with my teammates. I gave him one day. and honestly not one of the talked to all the time, and he's Kinda started talking me about stuff. End opened up mccomb was that bad, you know. I just told them like not hang a caveman like. We all go through stuff and I know you. Have you know your wife or girlfriend here but? if you need someone on the team. I'm here for him because. That's all it takes is chance on with life I think? What the whether you're going through something or you can help someone I think that's huge, just just saying that you can. You! Can you know hey come talk to me if you need so need to like for you I mean I love the sacks. That after you've gone through Recall talking then maybe on lady called me right away and I I can hear in your voice right away and I was like no. But I. Said as much stuff as we shoot back and forth tonight felt I feel very good when someone feels comfortable enough to come to me right to talk about this kind of stuff. Like I said before more of a motivational set of things, but. I think. I can give pretty good insight and help for sure I also know that sometimes the way I come at at, it's more direct in sometimes people. Don't like that to tiptoe around the issues, but. Everyone's different use could find what works for some people yes, yeah, for sure Going back to what you had mentioned. You know everybody at some point. Throughout their day. They got come home right in there. They're going to be alone. And so we don't always. Have you know it's bedtime gotta be alone. Some people can't fall asleep within two minutes at some people takes thirty minutes. Some people take an hour. and you're not on your phone as your eyes are close right, so you're you're you're in your mind? And all the stuff that you had been distracting yourself from throughout the day whether it'd be working out or work calling somebody or strolling on instagram? Whatever the case is, that's it's all different forms of suppression of dealing with that stuff right, but it man I'm just Just, listening to how you speak about your father is just like for any parents out there that might be listening to this like your father man like what an incredible human to set you up with the tools it's. It's probably your father's. What's the word I'm looking for? You could probably contribute contribute. It's to your father. The fact that you were able to get through. You know his passing. You know and still eighteen years later still be doing good. Of course you get sat at times right around. Imagine around Christmas time. You know like you said you. You had such an incredible relationship. Relationship with him, then he passed before you even went to college for you sign. I would imagine it would have been something that you would have been so proud of to have your father in the stands you know, but man lake. It's interesting I. was just I just finished? Reading? A book called the art of living this book. It talks about how. Even though our parents may may pass away or our kids or our brothers and sisters. They're still very much with us. So when you talk about your mom or your sister mentioning that Oh man, you sound just like just like data. You sound just like your father. It's because he's still with you. You know in in how you smile in how you're able to have this. This conversation you know and that is just so beautiful and manage just like it's. It's like it's inspiring me. Because I myself I'm a father and I'm trying to my kids a lot younger, four six years old, but I'm already at this point even though I'm not currently with them. I'm still trying to plant the seeds and actually just yesterday I was on the phone with. With my daughter Harper and my son national had hit her and she was upset and so I tried going through. Just a quick little breathing exercises like a baby WANNA. Know what I do and I get angry. Sometimes I, just I. This focus on my breathing all she didn't WanNa. Do it right then. It's still in her mind. And when I get home, I'll practice those things so why I'm saying that because I'm trying to. Incorporate these types of tools for my daughter and son to to learn so that when they get later in life, and they go through difficult times now. They have some tools to overcome these things, so it sounds like that's exactly what your father bit right as yet just going on about your daughter there, so mine was flagged angry. Because I used to work with my dad a lot. Especially as as a young kid, mum, even at that age I was trying to. Mimic his doing plus I do push ups. So is the same thing like when I got. Upset at those times You'd say some push-ups. But I'm you know? And it's it wasn't like. Do Push ups. You got to work out it was it was just took your mind off everything. With energy doing these things. And said of folks on the actual, the actual problem right and. It was very good with me to like. Just re Satin folks on? How do You know what I mean. Could I do go home? And that sort of thing, so I think you know passing to realize. What we say. Or say what you do. You think that they don't notice kids. Not The pickup. These things I think he said something on your. Today today about you know. About your son, but ranch on his eggs. You keep I wouldn't have done that, but you let him kind of find out for himself like what he likes rights that. We don't do this in our house, but. What they like but he default method site. You don't maybe. Catch up too because. That's all we must be good. I think are huge in how we. I'd say. Most kids will follow the path of. How their parents treat them or had ethic. subconsciously, pick up these things. These traits and He's work habits and. And Easter things in. In like the mental toughness stuff we. We we give these things to the youth and other people by our actions by how we treat people. I recall one time with my dad. I might have been. It'd be nine at the time and we're doing push ups with their feet on the stairs. Elect elevated ones and. He. He chose to do some that I was like okay, whatever and then he kept giving me this. Is doing pretty good I. Don't know how to use all right. Do five more. Obama five more by morning, the as really barely getting one more one more like more. Like shaved is like got whatever. collapsed. In tears crying, he's going on nobody I couldn't do one more rats. You know, but I think at that point. Without Him, knowing it. Because, you know it was something at long way that meant to prepared me to be able to. Give a little bit more. the physical aspect of things like. Always. Give a little bit more. There's always a little bit more in the tank if the athletes out there I think. Usually your mind up before your body will, and if you can get past mental hurdle of. Over doing these suicide today we love doing these laps. Every time now what we're doing here. Guys complaining for slide. Man Like this is not the evidence. That was like ten years old. You know 'cause mental and build up that strategy like hey. I've done this before. I'm not going to die from doing this right. BEEN HIT, before! Let's get through on the days. We don't feel like you're not in the mood. Let's just battle through and I think that's we you build. Mental Strength Up to typically down to get through other little things in your life. And and it's a mad at this is so perfect with all literally all of the things that you've been speaking about this born with right. All of this stuff happens you along your journey. All these things happen to you. The you know the passing of your father. The racial discrimination things that have gone on so that's so that's right in line with how I view mental health. It's not necessarily things that were born with, but things that happen to. To us that have impacts on our on our mental states, in while Greg here had incredible tools to overcome these situations in experiences. There's many people out there that don't and so these same types of situations that Greg went through what have a much larger impact, not the din have an impact on Greg but again he had those tools right, but there again. There are so many people that don't have those tools, so you could certainly understand how. This type of stuff like the passing of a father that that's that's a catastrophic event at trauma rights, and if it happens at a younger age of say, five years old, we don't even understand that we have healing to do, but that energy the the impacts on our mind is going to stay with us for many many years, and it's GonNa. Come up at random times in life so buddy I unless you have more to say I that was incredible. Some of this stuff. We've never even spoken about so right here. You know I learned so much more about and I've gained another level of respect for you, and again like I mentioned the other day I believe our friendship or Brotherhood is gonNA grow from this this one one. Our conversation like I said that that could be at an again if you want to say more or lead the people with anything, motivational or any et style. Go go right ahead. Category said, Ledge. We've talked so much over the whatever ten years of known each other about everything you know, there's so many things that I could keep on Tyson upon but I think one of the things just going back. For the. Good stuff mentally a lot of kind of talk more about the thing Bagel overcome. Because the mental stuff lake, there were Kinda easier for felt easier for me. There are things like academically. You know where I wasn't very good, especially academics. the special education stuff That had to go through, and and my reading skills to power all the time, and my spelling and I really had a lake try to dig deep in that stuff was terrible for form especially in junior kin- reader for the class, and you're not very comfortable. Reading in those things plagued me. Through. Middle School and high school and I don't know what what change like I hated. Reading in front of people hated You know public speaking in front of people in the sort of thing and the funny thing is is that? All of that Kinda changed when one of the teachers in high school was able to tell me listen. You you WANNA. Be This this hockey star on Mike. And away was broken the news like. You better get caught. Doing this at this is what you really want, because in a have to have to. This Day because. I still see her in. It's funny how she was able to get me to like really. Folks in impress feel comfortable doing these things because. They need those commercials to read the scripts when you have to do this interview as I was like. Okay and that was my. That was the way that she was able to. Kinda trick my my mental minds in thinking. Okay, this after practice because he wanted to get good at because of. All someday. And the things I have to I. ASK DO To be proficient at. overcome. that. you know I can't really pinpoint all of them. You know what I mean. Think about this But there are still so many weaknesses probably have mostly I. don't even know about for instance relationship wise united inlays I. Mentally can't get her love. Being like I, want to be as one person idolize in the settlement down like that You know I don't know why, but you know I believe it goes back to you. Know with my father in Costa people and then stuff happening to them now. That's my belief myself in in. That's where I struggle mentally like. was heard from. All, you'll nice, but there's something missing Wallow, he's still at this blockage of you know things, and that's really tried to work on, and it's one of those things where. As, much I try to knocked out those walls at some that. I can't do from I. I can't do it consistently enough where. It's where it's an open door and it'll come on in everybody. But I recognize that myself and. Try to to to change that and mentally overcome the that that blockage there But. You know. We work on it and each will get better each day and for anyone else out there. Listen I just like to say. Let's not going even though you may think you're going through stuff, alone, You're not. Everyone's got something going on and. You know find some that you trust. Maybe somebody that you don't even know that well. sometimes changes can be the can be your best friend and in everyone. You know is able to overcome and find someone that they can help out if you're against yourself. Help someone else out. for role human here in the. In I. Don't make you say you don't know where you would be. Feeding met me and I don't know I haven't met you. Because you know from the last less handful years. talked a lot. About motivation and mental health and stuff like that and. Now I'm getting older I took. The younger players on my team. All these kind of these things in not understand when the coach yelling at you. It's not personal mitts you have. You have to do these things because what he does. The same thing I got yelled at four when I was playing In had mentally not go on the deep end. Like doesn't like me has nothing to do with your it's. You know trying to get the best player that you are. If you can get past that hurdle immensely, say to yourself okay. I'm he's. Saying. It's me this way because he treated to. He's tried to be softened me. Try to been hey, so he's trying to figure out what sometimes to say. get the message across right. Yeah Motivational. Just. Have Fun. Go to. Already brother again, thank you so much for coming on truly truly grateful for this experience into. Have you and I? Know for sure with all with all that you share that there's going to be many people out there. That are going. Find potentially some similarities in their own pather, their own story and potentially greg now. You've been the key to unlock them, so you know maybe go down their own pathak healing from from again things that happen to us. Anyhow Buddy. Thank you so much for joining me on episode number seven of the R. A. V. With J. L. and raw authentic invulnerable on again. Don't for anybody listen. Don't don't hesitate Lieber Review and again it gives you more access to all of my content across the sports apron in your platform. Already. My Man will buddy again. It was it was great. Having you and I look forward to the next one. TV.