Tom Hanks At Home
From NPR and WBZ CHICAGO. This is wait wait. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. You're not feeling ill your feeling bills old Bill Kurtis. And here's your host here to put the play in plague. It's Peter Signal. Hey Bill thanks wonderful. Grateful people who are not in fact In this closet applauding for me. That's of course. Canned applause played by our trustee producer. Mike now this particular applause was our audience back in January of two thousand seventeen applauding for special guest host. Tom Hanks There's really nothing like the sound of people loudly. Enjoying one's absence anyway. We HAVE INVITED MR. Hank's back he'll be joining US later to play. Not My job at this time. Tom. I'm not going anywhere. Of course wasn't a sound effect. Peter and that was my voice I apologized. Nobody is going anywhere so we assume you are free to give us a call and play our games number is one triple eight. Wait wait one. Eight eight eight nine. Two four eight nine two four. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi you're on wait wait. Don't tell me all right. My Name's grants I'm in Atlanta Georgia. Well how are things in? Atlanta quieted the places. I'm working at a why. Why even bother asking? I should say how are things inside your house. I guess what famous everywhere when you were allowed to leave your house. What do you do? I worked security for the CDC. And I'm a Army reservist. Wait a minute you work for the CDC work security. Just I wave at the smart people all right and you wave the smart people and presumably. They wave back. Do you think those smart people know what they're doing? They seem like they're really on top of everything. Oh good I'm I'm I'm very glad to hear it. Let me introduce you grant to our panel. This week I up. It's a writer performer. In the Co host of the PODCAST. Nobody listens to Paula. Poundstone it's Adam. Felber next is the host of the fake the nation podcast and you can now stream her last film Third Street blackout for free. Because let's face it. You have run out of things to watch by now. It's far saw and an actor and writer who directed the new audible original series escape from virtual island featuring Paul Rudd. It's Peter Gross Grant. Welcome to the show. You'RE GONNA play. Who's bill this time bill? Curtis is GONNA to Redo three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify explains to them. You'll win our prize. Any voice from our show. You may choose on your voicemail ready to play. If they're here is your first quote normal. It will not be that was California governor. Yoda Gavin newsom about to open up. What trying to open up the economy opened up city. Yep Basically everything whatever we do. People say we won't be able to go back to normal right away. For example restaurants will open. But they'll have to stagger the table. So nobody's anywhere near each other servers. Remember throw entrees from the left. Receive flying dirty plates from the right crowded. You will not have my my understanding is if the restaurants are going to be at half capacity than we actually get double the food right. That's how it's GonNa work. That's your excuse for going in and ordering two entrees Helping you guys not stress eating. I'll have a chicken Parmigiana and LASAGNA. Thank you very much. If they really want to keep people apart in restaurants they should just make it awful to go there. For example every other table is a bad first. Tinder date feel. I feel bad for people who are like. I just got out of a long term relationship and I'm ready to a new people. Yes did not get her groove back in the middle of a pandemic though nobody really knows why president trump is obsessed about opening up the country on. May first except it's May Day that's the thing you say when you're going down in flames or the president did say he had the quote absolute power to open the country but the next day after he was visited by three spirits and the night. He admitted he couldn't really do. Did Create a committee to reopen the economy with such brilliant public health experts as Ivanka trump. Mr Ivanka trump. Pennywise the clown. Voldemort and Wilbur. Ross all right grant. Here's your next. What do you wear a suit and get a podium for your house? That was a lawyer worrying about how to argue a case. Now that the Supreme Court will be hearing those cases. How remotely through video? Yes I'll give it to you over the phone it's true. Many people are discovering the wonder of phone calls. It's just like a zoom meeting but you don't have to put on a shirt either. The Supreme Court had cancelled their spring session but all these civil liberties were just piling up and somebody has to get rid of them so they've agreed for the first time in its long history to conduct hearings by conference call all still be wearing robes. But who knows what under them and this is also for the first time the public can listen in live. This never happened before. Come for the counsel's arguments the justices sharp questions and Clarence Thomas Heavy breathing. I'm really looking forward to hearing him. Say Nothing I love this. I love this story so much as I totally picture. One of those moments where someone's like you want the truth and then Ruth Bader. Ginsburg is like what who's talking with. You can't handle the truth. I'm sorry you have to. I D yourself. I may be able handle the truth but peaking every twenty minutes. You're going to have to wait while Ruth Ginsburg says. Excuse me I have to go. Get SOME MORE NICHOLS. She needs to live. We need to Scott Joking about do not. I am not comfortable with this line of questioning. This is a joke about how? She's a luddite now. The old is there a reason? Why is there a reason why it's not a video system and that it's just I have to? I'm not quite. You looked at these justices because like Sonia. Sotomayor does not want to wash your hair. She's honest rake. She's not GonNa do it. I barely did mine for you guys. Alright grant here is your last quote then taking the town back. It's now there's that was a man in Wales noticing that what are now taking over our empty streets and towns all the wild animals. Yes all the enemies. That's exactly right. Since people are being forced to stay home the animals have come out goats. Were walking down the street in Wales Wales walking down the street and goats at you semi all the bears have come out in. Yellowstone is crawling with leather daddies. That would be. Oh my God it turns out like we're like basically my old roommate. Derek left a bunch of dirty dishes and like water all over the apartment and then when he finally moved out the apartment was cleaned like we are that roommates. Who Were Darren Sarah? We're Global Derek. There is one group of animals that are not happy. And that is this is true. New York City Rats. They're apparently forming armies. And battling each other because there's not enough garbage to eat now. Without filthy humans discarding pizza crusts and other garbage. The rats will have to start cooking for themselves and you thought they were annoying before. Wait till the rat start talking about their sour dough starter but if the animals really are taking over we don't know none of us have been outside in three weeks while we would like to welcome our new audience by replacing our bluff listener game with Hump Listeners leg. Meanwhile it's just dogs that Hump Legs Right. It's not like oh I saw volt. I hope so I would be. It would be very frightening if a bear were to do that. Bill to grant to in our quiz one of them to go back to the CDC in protectors they discover a vaccine grant. Please call me thank you so much. I really appreciate you. Thanks for the good work you do at the CDC keeping those say thank you Sir thank you turn to public service with a segment. We call wash your hands with bill because singing. Happy Birthday to yourself twice. Just doesn't cut it now this week. Bill Kurtis has brought along a friend to help him out. It is Josh Kanter. The official organist of the Boston Red Sox and Fenway Park. Welcome to wait. Wait Josh meter so a lot of people are wondering. What does a baseball stadium organised do? When there's no baseball do you? Do you play a like play organ to accompany chores around the house If there's no game to play out I I still play anyway but what some friends advise me to do was to just hit the go button on the live stream while I do it And I do that every day. Since the baseball season was supposed to have started three weeks ago and money for local food banks in the process. So you're doing daily Livestream concerts from your house. Yes taking requests on a live chat. What is the strangest thing that you've been asked so far to play on your organ? I mean I do get variety of strange things every once in a while. Someone Will WanNa hear like a free jazz. Ornette Coleman kind of thing he does. Strange requests are not the ones that are is not the song itself. It's the story behind the song so someone will say Eh just got engaged in our song is Is God only knows by the beach? Boys could you play for us and it's like A? It's a beautiful song. Be the very first lyric of the song is. I may not always love you. And that's what you're asking me to play to your you know. Turn new fiancee but sure our players. That's what you really want a literally. Well Josh we have had you here of course to help with bill. He helps America wash their hands. So bill and Josh. Take it away here. We GO JUDGE ATTITUDE. Anna three be out to the ball game. Be Right to the six and the bacterial Gel. I'll follow that up. Where her then? It's root root root with my mass on lease. Don't sitting next to me. One day. The new ball a razor right back to fenway. Doesn't it Josh Josh? Kanter is the organist at Fenway Park. And for the Boston Red Sox and he is doing a free organ concert everyday Josh. How do people find that Saddening stretch twenty twenty on facebook. Josh thank you so much all right. Thanks everybody. That of course. Thank you bill coming up here about parenting styles of the rich and famous in our bluff listener game called one triple eight. Wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of wait wait. Don't tell me from. Npr support for this podcast. And the following message comes from colour attaching directly to your toilet using basic household tools. A colour the day seat offers adjustable features ranging from warm water cleansing and warm Air Dryer. Too heated seat. You'll also enjoy automatic air freshening and ambient nighttime light colour invites you to visit colour dot com slash bidet enter colour thirty checkout to save thirty percent on in stock but day seats. Let's play some games. Everybody are you looking for the answer to life's funnier questions? There's naked and then there's Canadian naked every week. We blend comedy Trivia and a special celebrity interview I'll ask me another from NPR from NPR and WBZ Chicago. His wait wait. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis playing this week with Peter. Gross and the Game Far Saad and Adam felber and here we got is your host from deep in his beans cellar. Peter's goal. Thank you bill right now. It's time for the wait. Wait don't tell me bluff the listener game call triple eight. Wait wait to play our game on the air. Hi you're on wait wait. Don't tell me Hi Peter. This is David craft from Saint Paul Minnesota Saint. Paul is one of my very favorite places. What do you do there? I work with middle schoolers. Who qualify for special ED services. Oh you are a saint doubly so sir because just just teaching middle. School to me is an amazing active service. How how are you spending your time since classes are cancelled while we do distance learning but they're also Sending some people to mandate care for kids whose parents work in healthcare land. I'm also still able to donate blood. I'm I try to donate every week or so. You Know I. I've never said this to a listener in twenty two years. But Sir you are too good for this show should be calling into something. Classy that rewards level of service fighting fires David. It is very nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic bill celebrity parents? They're just like us. Sure seems like celebrity parents. Have it all figured out Alec Baldwin Joan Crawford Bill Cosby famous MOMS and Dads? They can make mistakes to our. Panelists are going to tell you about a celebrity parenting Arabic. The one is telling the truth. And you'll win a prize the weight waiter of your choice voicemail. Ready to play David. I am all right I. Let's hear from Adam. Felber first graders enrolled in Brooklyn's Kevin School were treated to an unexpected visitor in their virtual zoom classroom. This week when one of the Students Dad's accidentally showed up in the background and commenced an exercise routine in his underwear and a special bonus. That Dad was beloved actor. Paul Giamatti yes. Things went sideways for seven year. Old Ashley Giamatti. When unbeknownst to her her famous dad spread out of Madden too clearly visible next room and began stretching clad only in a pair of boxer shorts and undershirt soon children were laughing and parents were flocking into view to see what one onlooker described as a bizarre routine that seemed to be part. Yoga Tai Chi and part modern. Dance by the end. Said one cavendish mom. There were a series of deep Ben's gyrations better suited for an exotic dance floor. Certainly not for a first grade classroom. It was around this time. That young actually turned around gasped in horror and shouted dad. We can all see you. Jimmy has already apologized to his fellow. Parents setting the difficulties family. Sheltering in place embarrassed he said please guys. I was in big Momma's house but Ashley. She may need therapy. Paul Giamati doing exercises in his underwear behind his very embarrassed daughter during zoom class. You're next story of a mommy. Mistake comes from Nagin. Far Saad Kelly Clarkson is a fund. Mom She sings obviously but she celebrates every occasion. With the kind of Gusto you would expect from the from just into Kelly Star and her kid river. Losing his first tooth was no exception. The night that rivers I tooth fell. He dutifully put under his pillow and drifted to sleep. Clarkson brought in makeup and costume artists to make her into the tooth fairies magical assistant complete with a frilly gown wings glitter and an impressive wand. She hired a prop master to beam glowing purple light on his bed and set up. A rig that enabled Clarkson to literally float into rivers bedroom. She gently wakes kid up to tell him the tooth fairies about to arrive which he decided to do. Randomly in a British accent river woke up totally confused and punches. His mother and the face. She falls back and screams in perfect C. SHARP. Of course her wings get caught on the rig which topples onto a lamp causing a small fire. In the meantime the kid crying wildly runs into the kitchen and dials. Nine one one telling them that. A lady with ways. Straightest deal me and set fire to our House. Police arrived to find frazzled. Kelly Clarkson with soot on her face in burnt assistant tooth fairy regalia a frightened makeup person costume designer and prop master and a six year. Old Kid in hysterics. Of course Beller. Police are used to breaking up celebrity parties as one cup. Put it. You wouldn't believe the costume fetish. Celebs have but there's usually a lot of drugs and sometimes an exotic animal Clarkson explain what happened. Thank the cops and smiled. That's when everyone notice. Kelly Clarkson is missing a tooth because her son had punched it out of Kelly. Clarkson goes a little bit too far in acting out the role of the tooth fairy for her son and your last story of a problematic parent comes from Peter. Gross Comedian Amy Schumer and her husband. Chris Fisher are the proud parents of a beautiful eleven month. Old Baby boy named Gene David Fisher. But that wasn't always the little guys name. Schumer revealed on her podcast this week that she changed her son's name after a friend pointed out that the original name the name they put on his birth certificate last. May might have earned. The boy considerable scorn as he reached adolescence. Little jeans original Middle Name Attell. After comedian and friend Dave attell that his first two names would be gene. Attell which sounds more than a little bit. Like the word genital. Maybe not that much to use sophisticated. Npr listener but to the merciless. Sixth Grade Boys Little Jeans Future. It would have been a veritable goldmine teasing perfect storm on par with being the classmate of a kid named Mike Raj or buts or Anita Weiner Schumer Wade. Many options after realizing her oversight including changing the boy's name to the baby formerly known as Gina. Tell but then realized she could just change his middle name to David. So that was that while this was the first recorded celebrity baby name change many celebrities of course alter their own birthdays before becoming famous cary grant was born Archibald Leach. Mel Brooks was born. Melvin Kaminsky Queen. Latifah was born. Princess Latifa Benedict cumberbatch was born benzedrine. Cummerbund and rapper debate. He was actually born to baby and just forgot to change his name to Dick grownup. All right here. David are your choices from Adam. Felber was Paul Giamati broadcasting his exercise routine in his underwear to his daughter's entire class via video link from Dean. Farside Kelly Clarkson trying to do a wonderful thing for her son when he lost a tooth and instead losing a tooth herself or from Peter Gross Amy Schumer and her husband realizing that the name they gave their beloved first child sounds a little bit too much like the word Genitalia. Which of these was the real story of a celebrity parenting mistake? They all some pretty unbelievable but I think I'm going to have to go with gene. A tell gene attell the former name of Amy Schumer is baby. Well defined the correct answer. Well please listen to this. It was gene attell Fisher but we realized that we by accident named our son genital. Tent was Amy Schumer Star. Cast three girls one Keith. Congratulations David you got right. You've earned a point for Peter Gross. You've won a prize. And Amy Schumer has renamed her baby after you David. Thank you so much for playing and thank you for every single thing that you do. They're all important in amazing. Thank you so much. Bye Bye bye and now the game where we ask people who've done remarkable things to do just one more Tom. Hanks's had an amazing career. With as many blockbuster films bestselling books two Oscars. And of course I think the pinnacle of his career hosting this show once well we heard he just got over a bad cold. We thought it'd be time to invite him back Tom. Hanks welcome back to wait. Wait it's good to be back the source of the finest reviews of my career. I've actually this is the first time you've been on the show since you did that about three years ago and did in fact people reach out to you because they reach out to me and they basically said. Peter. When are you leaving again? We all have those things in our checkered careers. Don't go on Netflix. And look for bonfire of the vanities. I have to ask on behalf of A. I think concerned globe. How are you feeling Tom? Hanks We are just fine dandy. We had all of the flu. Like symptoms my wife. Reader was a little worse off than me. She had a very high temperature and We were isolated so that we would not give it to any one else right. Now that you've had aren't you supposedly like immune your superheroes you can walk amongst us and be immune or is that just not a lot of the question is what now you know. What do we do now? Is there something we can do? In fact we just found out that we do carry the antibodies. Wait so can we harvest your body? Can we harvest your list? Have you been approached? We not only been approach. We have said Do you want our blood. Can WE GIVE PLASMA? And in fact we will be giving it now to the places hope to work on what? I would like to call the hank scene. Yeah could be better ending to this. International ATROPHY CURE TURNS OUT TO BE. The blood of. Tom Has always thought it would do. Some good somehow not get copyright are not going to the patent office you thought he was Jimmy Stewart he's also Jonas. Tom Let let me ask you the obvious. Hollywood question. If there is a sequel. Would you consider being in Cova Twenty s? I would I would answer all the questions left on answered by covert nineteen by the way. How many franchises James Bond thing a fast and the furious and the Coleridge series and I say for all of America can. They're just be one of these. We love you Tom. I do not want to see the second one. You hosted Saturday night live. You sort of ushered that. Show back into production in the middle of all. This and a question arose that I have seen squeezing through social media and can pose it to you now Tom. Hanks was that your real kitchen. No that was my abandoned office. That is ten minutes away from my home. Can I ask you? What do you have against your own kitchen that you went into the kitchen? What you're seeing down there truly is my taste in decoration. Not My wife's tastes. Yes it is me. Baby that is that is my big masculine man cave and you should have been able to tell by the fabulous one button only cappuccino espresso maker. That was backed bell over my left. Hand Dark Mahogany Cabinets. Right sort of a red. That is my crib and I am. I am proud of it. What was funny was so many people like that is no way that is like an alien movie stars kitchen so could you for the just for the benefit of those people lie to America. But what's your real kitchen is like my real kitchen. I assume it looks like the dining hall and hog. Were now Racha twohey kitchen with all those. Have you seen Downton Abbey? Those people that worked downstairs making bread and stuff like that PAT. I'm not sure what their names are. They've been working for us but they are really busy down there and if I had done. Snl over their shoulders. You wouldn't have had the same impact. What is your life like during lockdown? Are you doing the same as the rest of us? Just in your house reading books spending your time taking zoom. I find something something different is happening about. Every twenty minutes I've done the Marie Condo wising of much of my life. I must say I found this microphone. That's one thing I did not realize I had this microphone some. It was in the original box so I pulled it up but I gotTa say if I win one hand of Solitaire. I immediately try to see tune in a row so I'm busy. I am very busy. Yeah well Tom Hanks. It is such a pleasure to talk to you every single time. We get to do it but there are rules so this time we've asked you here to play a game. We're calling it's a terrible day in the neighborhood your most recent film to come out. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You played Mr Rogers. The nicest neighbor ever so. We thought we'd ask you about some of the worst neighbors ever answered correctly and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. The Voice of anyone. They may choose in their voicemail. Actually hoping to prize would be they get to substitute host way to tell me once again just because you won. That once doesn't mean we let bill. Who is Tom Hanks? Playing for today. Diana comes out of Fort Worth Texas all right Diana you've been on both sides here we go. You might be excited if your neighbor won the lottery but not the neighbors of a British man who won ten million pounds in two thousand and three and then did what with the money was IT A. He bought the house next door and created. Britain's first rat sanctuary in petting zoo be. He added an additional fifteen stories onto his house. Where see turned his yard into a demolition Derby Racetrack? I'm GonNa go with fifteen stories. Did he blocked everybody's view with his money. No he didn't he actually turned it into a demolition. Derby race track. You know. There's a lot of things a person could do with ten million pounds that's about. That's about the most sensible thing you could match up some car making note Tom for the quarantine is over anyway when neighbors complained he launched fireworks flares over their houses that somebody you knew how to live all right. You still have tumor chances. All right I'll take a little longer on this because I know you need to pad this show out so I've been listening in and I think there's a Lotta cuddle material all right. A concerned mother in northern California called Animal Control on her neighbor in two thousand fifteen after she noticed. What a that. The neighbors parrot was teaching her kids. How to swear be that the neighbor's cat really seemed to enjoy being dressed up everyday with a hat for a Kitty Tea. Party or see that. Her neighbor's dog really seemed to look and act like a person in a dog suit. These are far too possible. Each one of them parrot cat or dog yes. Those are the three pets. You've heard the story of the parrot who did swear far too much and insulted its owner until an anger. The owner grabbed the parrot and shoved it into his freezer above his refrigerator. And then when leaving in there for a few minutes he opened the door and the parrot was very contrite and said I want to apologize. My my language was used it. It was rude of me and I hope you can forgive me. And then the parrot said and by the way just. What did the chicken do in honor of that joke? I'm I'm going to. I'm going to vote for the foul mouth. You're exactly right. Hey that's the one. The neighbor claimed that the parent was shouting obscenities in Spanish. The parents owners said the parent doesn't even know Spanish. Okay all right. This is the wind now here. Is Your last question. Once upon a time a man named Bob kept complaining to his neighbor about the condition of his ugly unpainted wooden fence. What did the neighbor do was it? He tore down the fence so his neighbor. Bob could enjoy him. And his seventy year old wife practice nudism be. He got some paint and he just painted the words. Look Bob. I've painted my fence on the ugly old wood or see. He tore down the fence and put up five concrete highway barriers. Who would complain about seventy year old? Nudists I don't see some hands. Fear around Zoom Conference. Yes sir. I'll go with the. Hey Bob. I painted my fence. That that's exactly right. Sounds like a very jin huge foot high letters across the forty foot long fans. Hey Bob I painted my and that's a bad neighbor. I think that's I think that's pretty clever. He's been immortalized bill. How did Tom Hanks do on our quiz? I'm holding a win and we're going to give him a Free Cup of his favourite drink. Wait wait a cup of post them Tom. Hanks is an award winning actor and substitute public radio host. Tom Hanks we are so thrilled. That you deign to stop by. Thanks to Afghanistan always a great pleasure. Take care of everybody. I'm leaving the zoom meeting. Now just a minute. Bill tells you how to be in the star of your next zoom meeting. Call one triple eight way to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more weight. Don't tell me from. Npr this message comes from NPR sponsor. Better help the online counselling service dedicated to connecting you with a licensed counselor to help you. Overcome whatever stands in the way of your happiness. Fill out a questionnaire and get matched with a professional tailored to your needs. And if you weren't satisfied with your counselor you can request a new one at any time. Free OF CHARGE VISIT BETTER HELP. Dot Com slash. Wait to get ten percent off your first month. Get the help you deserve with better. Help Saturday morning. Your week was long. Your time is precious but when I take ten minutes to catch up on some of the biggest news stories with up first. Npr's morning news podcast. I'm Scott Simon and I'm Lulu Garcia. Navarro up I hear Weekday Mornings and now every Saturday at eight eastern two from NPR WBZ CHICAGO. This is wait wait don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with N- again for Saad Peter Gross and Adam felber and here's your host waiting. His invitation to join the council to Reopen America. Say Thank you bill in just a minute. Bill wins his rhyme. Time Emmy in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play give us a call at one. Triple eight wait wait. That's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four now. It is time panelists for a game. We like to call the viral load. Sometimes it is hard to get you to virus news as fast as you may need it because each story must be personally signed by Donald Trump. But we're going to try and throw some questions at you. Rapid fire true false style. Get Yours Right. You get a point ready to play. Sure all right here we go Peter. I Peter True or false. Australian doctor says Corona virus maybe spreading through farts. Oh God I'm GonNa say true just for the hell of it. Yes it's true to gain your false a UK man. Driving at the speed of three miles an hour told police he was staying extra safe to avoid hospitals during the virus crisis foss. It is false. Emma's caught going one hundred and thirty miles per hour and he told police he was speeding because quote. I thought the faster I went the last chance I would catch Peter true or false girlfriend fighting with her boyfriend about their hidden stash of beans told him she would never quote jeopardize their love true no fall. She said she would never quote jeopardize. The beans Negi Insurer False Negi insurer. False man caught with seventy one thousand dollars worth of cocaine in his car told police it was okay because as a drug dealer. He is an essential worker. True yes adam to or false in the classic Florida Man's story. A Tallahassee resident told a reporter pro wrestling should be declared an essential business true that is true and the Tallahassee resident was the governor of course Peter Tour false after a number of incidents Maryland police told residents. They must wear masks when they walk out to their mailbox false. It's some other funny thing false. After numerous incidents. They told them they must wear pants when they walk out to the mailbox again after people criticize his first and second task forces to open the country the president just named every Republican senator to be on the third one. Oh yes it's false. He named every Republican senator except Mitt Romney Adam to reform social media data finds a sharp uptick in the number of family photos. Taken during the corona virus. True notes false. They found a three hundred eighty four percent increase in the number of nude photos. I don't understand the thinking behind that I'm stuck in the house. I got nothing to do. Nowhere to go can't see anybody. I know. Lower the pants taking pictures Senate to people. Now we've all gained bloated genitals way that you know what the bummer is. I had to see that band. Bloated genitals the night that the bomber loaded gene a tale. Now we have a new game for you one. We're calling Martha Stewart up to so Peter. What was Martha Stewart? Up to this week. A recycling wine bottles into musical instruments be spreading G Corona virus conspiracy theories or see getting super drunk and posting comments on the instagram of a chicken farm. I'll go with the last one about the chicken farm. You're right John. Stewart got really drunk and trolled a chicken farm in Texas. The Best Little Hen House in Texas cute name put up an instagram post. About the arrival of two new chicks and Martha Stewart the Diane of domesticity herself posted. And I shall try to quote Amazon. Sure you feed and water them daily and Keep. The heat is no. Bk Innocent when you can finally come back to him way. Who's going to care for them? People responded toast with variations on. Are you okay and Martha Stewart said quote? What a mess. I have been drinking you. Know what Martha Stewart these days which she says I have been drinking. I think it means I have been getting high. That's probably either that or the Puno that she learned how to make in the toilet bowl in prison one of the other. And that's the end of this round of. What IS MARTHA STEWART UP TO COMING UP? It's lightning fill in the blank. But I it's the game where you have to listen to the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air caller leave a message at one. Triple eight wait. That's one eight hundred eight nine. Two four eight nine two four or click the contact. Us Link on our. That's wait wait dot. Npr Dot Org. And if you want more wait wait in your week. Check out the wait. Wait quiz for your smart speaker. It's every Wednesday with me and bill asking you questions on the comfort of your home. Thank you smart speaker. You're my only friend. Hi you're on wait wait. Don't tell me hi. Hi Who's this Rachel bandit calling from Wyoming. Hey where in? Wyoming hand whaling lucky. I know we're Cheyenne is. That's great what do you do there? I just moved here a couple of days ago because I start as a new doctor in the end of June. I finished med school. A couple of months ago. Wait a minute you. In the middle of a pandemic finished medical school moved halfway across the country to Cheyenne Wyoming. To Start Your career as a doctor. Are you sure that you are not the protagonist in a lifetime? Tv movie maybe later. Well Rachel. Welcome to our show. Bill Curtis is GonNa Redo three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each if you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly to the lyrics you will be a winner. You ready to play all right. Here is your first Limerick at a mammoth my club. I will swing now. I'm weaving its hair to a thing. I am twisting the strands with my big clumsy Hans. I am making a big ball of hearing yes strain. Scientists have found a fifty thousand year old piece of string this finding shows and important evolutionary. Step as it's well known that the invention of string led directly to the invention of the junk drawer. Early twine was made out of bark and shows either that neanderthals were observing their environment to develop complex tools or that. Their kid had to make a mobile for class. Why me tie this to my finger. Remind myself bent wheel. What will again be some strange now? Have to make second piece. String all right. Here is your next Limerick at Arctic. Climates the poorest. It's a nightmare for farmers and florists but once it was good with deep thickets of the Antarctic was once a rain for it. Yes of rain. Forest researchers sediment that leave the region may have once been a rainforest after finding well preserved samples of root systems and pollen and the ruins of a prehistoric rainforest. Cafe of course and our rainforest would be different from tropical rainforest for instance the hallucinogenic frogs in the Arctic. Were dangerous because if you lick them. Your tongue got stuck to them. Researchers blamed on ninety million years ago temperatures in Artika were much warmer than they are or were turns out that below the fossils of the woolly mammoths there must be fossils of breathable linen mammoths made of string. Yes if there really was a rainforest in prehistoric times it does raise the possibility that neanderthals may invented strings so they could invent zip line tours. Rachel here is your last limerick online meetings large coal remote. So let's add. Some sweet bleeds from warm throats. I don't see no harm to zoom in with the farm so be quiet and UN mute. The girls want to one up your coworkers dumb cat. You can pay sixty five dollars for a goat to join years. Zoom call. A California farm is offering to bring the petting zoo to your zoo. They're calling it goat to meeting virtual conference with a farm animal of your choice. Your opponent might be distracting but really no more distracting to Terry's dumb background of Wrigley Field. So good news. Animals were finally treating you as equals. And now you have to attend meetings. After the initial blush of like intrigue the goat may provide. What is that you know? It's not like the goat is going to be a presenting a TPS report or whatever Argentina. Mike I could see some tech. Ceo GOING ON. A second here. I think the go onto something. I've been microdosing ever since this whole thing started. I'd like to talk to the goat hanging. I've been microdosing look another go. You're all goats a bill. How Racial doing our quiz? What a great way to start a new job Rachel with a perfect score graduations. Rachel thank you so much for calling the play and good luck in your new career and And Good luck in your new home as well. Here's my pleasure. Thank you support for this podcast and the following message comes from. Why Zandt your go to resource for filling the gaps in remote learning. If starting your own home school the stressing you out. Turn it over to a pro tutors. On WJR ZANDT have years of expertise across all grades and subjects and can develop personalized lessons and schedules for your family book. An online lesson today at wise aunt dot com. Your first hour is covered by wasn't good fit guarantee. Love it or it's free. That's W. Y. Z. A. N. T. Dot Com support for this podcast and the following message come from the Walton Family Foundation. Where opportunity takes root more information is available at Walton Family Foundation Dot Org now onto our final game. Lightning filling the blankenship. Our players will have sixty seconds. Which answer is many fill in the blank questions as they can? Each correct answer is now worth two points bill. Can you give us? The scores? Adema has five. Gin has five and Peter has six okay Nagin and Adam you are tied Nagin. Let's have Hugo. I fill in the blank on Wednesday. President trump threatened to blank so he can make recess appointments without Senate approval. Go into recess. Give it to you. He threatened to adjourn Congress on Monday. The White House asked Congress to extend data collection deadlines for Twenty Twenty Blank Census. Yes this week. Governor Cuomo ordered New Yorkers to blank when social distancing wasn't possible right according to a nonpartisan report corona virus relief packages will mostly benefit blanks trump's family in the end millionaires. You know you're closed this week. Nevada announced it may offer unemployment benefits to professional blanks. Professional Gambler S. O. Dream on again on Tuesday online giant blank fire to employees who were critical of warehouse working conditions right on Wednesday streaming video service blanks stock. Hit A RECORD. High Net flicks. Yes baseball returned to Taiwan this week. When the racketeering monkeys played a game in front of an excited crowd of blank trees no they played in front of a crowd of cardboard. Cutouts cut outs. Were all dressed in support of the racketeering monkeys baseball team jerseys t shirts and hats and to make sure everybody knew that the virus was still a concern. All of them. Also face masks on the players said it felt amazing to play in front of a crowd again. Even though the game didn't get off to late start it was probably a mistake to let one of the cardboard fans throw out the first pitch all right so bill. How did they do in our quiz really well? She got five right ten more points. Total of fifteen and the lead all right. Okay Adam. You're up next. Fill in the blank on Tuesday. President trump announced he was suspending. Us funding of the Blank World Health Organization right on Sunday. British prime minister blank was discharged from the hospital. Boris Johnson right this week Bernie Sanders Elizabeth. Warren and Barack Obama endorsed blank for president. Joe Biden right on Tuesday a new. Imf report warned that the economy was headed towards the greatest downturn since the blank Great Depression right this week the governor of Nairobi said he would be including blank in aid packages offered to residents there. Porn no bottles of Hennessy. Cognac after being left out of the congressional relief package the blank warned it would be out of money by September Postal Service. Yes on Monday. Longtime jeopardy host blank announced he was working on a memoir. Alex Trebek's right in England. Who wanted to give yourself at home. Spray Tan accidentally black. She the word Adidas on her leg. That's exactly right atom. The woman was just looking for ways to pass the time during lockdown. She applied the tanning lotion and then immediately put on a pair of leggings as you do but when the fake Tan had set. She discovered that she had a giant Tan. Line on her leg that spelled out the word Adidas. The woman says she's embarrassed but thankful she didn't put on the leggings that say juicy on the but bill. How did Adam do in our quiz well? At seven right for fourteen points you know has nineteen points and the lead great so that means. How many does Peter Need to win? He needs seven all right. Peter this is for the game fill in the blank on Thursday. The White House announced that it's rescue. Loan Program for blanks was out of money Small businesses right on Sunday Saudi Arabia Russia and the US agreed to cut blank production by nine million barrels per day pickles. No Oil Wednesday judge cancelled the permit for the Blanca Pipeline Keystone yes keystone that show on Monday the liberal challenger for a State Supreme Court seat him blank was declared the winner of the Election Wisconsin. Yes saying it's their contribution to the fight against corona virus. A couple of Michigan blanked a made hand size or out of the Moonshine in their shed. They named their baby sanitizer on Wednesday apple unveiled the newest version of the blank iphone. Yes on Tuesday Hank Steinbrecher. One of the owners of the New York blanks passed away at the age of sixty three the New York Yankees. Yes we command in Michigan. Thought he'd lost. His false teeth was relieved when he found them in black His dog's mouth. He exactly right once you kidding me. You got it right. The mayor was going to say his wife's mouth no but then switched normal right. There's video of it. Isn't there the yes? The man said his teeth down in his kitchen table when he returned they were gone. He was nervous. He lost them until dog. Wandered the room with a huge grin on. Its face shockingly. Little Yorkie had managed to get the teeth perfectly aligned leaving him with a pearly white smile and a massive overbites. God All right amazing video. This bill did Peter do well enough to win. He did fantastic. He had seven right for fourteen more points. With total of twenty. He is our winner. Congratulations Peter and you get with doggy. Dentures CONSERVA top in. Just a minute. We're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the first thing they themselves do. Once their city is open for business. But first let me tell you that wait wait. Don't tell me as a production of NPR WBZ Chicago in association with an urgent haircut. Productions Doug Outdoor Berman Benevolent overlord. Philip Goto carrots are limericks are public address announcer is Paul Freedman our house managers. Janika Dona our internet or Web Guru Beth Novi bj Liederman composer theme program is produced by Jennifer Mills Miles During Boston. Lillian. King Peter Gwynne wants to know Witherspoon Technical Direction to some Lorna. Whiter business ops. Managers Colin Miller Production Manager. Is Robert Newhouse our senior producers in quick change log the executive producer? Wait wait. Don't tell me as Mr Michael Danforth now panel. What will you do once? America finally reopen Adam. Felber Peter. I'm going to return to my hobby that I had before this all started. It'd be going back to traveling the world making out with bats the game I mean. I'm I'm clearly going to go to the club and I'll be working and doing lines of blow off appear Segel's chest and Peter Gross. Well I live in New York City so before I do anything. I'M GOING TO FIGHT. Through the gangs of ravenous rats that have gathered up on my stoop. And then I'll probably just go to the half restaurant. Well if any of that happens we're going to ask you about an on. Wait wait note. Tell me thank you. Bill Kurtis thanks abuse Grozny Gene Farside and Adam felber and thanks to all of you for listening this week. I M Peterson Angle. We'll be back with you next week. this is NPR.