The WarDawg Trail - 3rd Tour and PTSD
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Make one reference to. A major vendor, my second tour in. Iraq. And I'll tell you what third tour. WanNa tell you briefly about. April thirteenth two, thousand four. After. Two days after we the salsa. We found ourselves in a firefight in the city of ALCOM Iraq. which is only about thirty. Thirty miles or so from Faluji. got into fourteen hour firefight their. Fourteen hour firefight. With insurgents and Al Karma that were the fighters from Volusia who would go to commodore restock. And to regather fighters, they were using it as a resupply point. And then they'd had back into the city. So that's why we hit a Karma right where they were during a resupply times now. During that firefight we. Ended up taking fire from their mosque. So we. Called Spectre gunship and we blew up the entire mosque. With. The. Shooter's inside that have been trying to kill us all day. I once that happened to city emerged erupted like a Hornet's nest with shooters coming from all directions I mean three sixty, right at one point in time I find myself on a rooftop by myself. And would them to forty nine squad automatic weapon? I had at least thirty, hundred thirty or so rounds on me. inside that the two hundred round drum. At one, hundred, thirty rounds left in that drum and I had another hunter. So rounds wrapped around me like Rambo rural wrapped around my chest. A moments rooftop, we're taking fire from all directions. We're taking indirect fires. Well, I'm seeing mortars, drop their walking onto us. I've seen him drop on the road behind me then near home. Visa. I know well, I'm on the route of this rooftop on myself that I really had to make a pimp decision. I had to make a man decision, right? And make a decision straight up to stay on that rooftop. So ocular keep is on any of the guys that will be rushing at us from my roof. Or? Do I get down off the roof because if any indirect fire that happen to be walking in the area? Happened to be, you know directly hidden those visa hitting road anything that would fell on that rooftop would obviously kill me. I. Kill me instantly. So I had to make a real decision. To I, sit there muscle. And engage in these guys that might come through the saw. Avenue approach that is watch which happened to be a palm grove. Or do I get down and make the smart decision. Get off the rooftop we try to regroup Fahd another place. Sound. So I'm still sitting here talking to you. And I'm. Blessed, and Lucky enough to keep this story going obviously I got down off the damn roof right? Now I got down momentarily. And Able to regroup some. And we had a talk and discussion war was going on where we could regroup what happened to be happening. But a decision was made for me to go back up on a rooftop of this time with another individual would another marine who also happen to have saw? So we had to saw gun talk British rooftop. Watching a grove. And at some point, there was movement that I'll never forget I was able to see like a bluish short t shirt that guy happened beware and I can never remember if they were actually six or eight. A mind confuses me at Tom's now to remember if there were six or eight of those Gaza run through roof top running through that Palm Grove. But I used to forty nine and I engaged all. I was able to take all of them all before they get the marines that I was fighting with their inner city of Karma. On April Thirteen Two Thousand Four. We finished second tour and will return home the states by around. August that's totally back in episode twenty. One. However I also told you. Later on in January of two thousand five we see orders to return back to Iraq for third time. How number kept coming up or why I was lucky enough to keep giving my number chosen. I will never know. As large as the US military is I never understood for the life of me how? I ended up as one person one got. You know if I only had to go once do one tour. Thank God before. Haven't gone twice was even more but that third time. After everything we saw under before I was burnt out. And I really didn't give a damn about a lot of things and. You know I kept always thinking saying third time's a charm man. So how I am going into third tour in Iraq but does have my third birthday there every day was just kind of like a death. Wait wait for death sentence. Waiting and wondering was going to be a car bomb or sniper landmine or What the fuck was going to take me out during that third to. I was lucky enough to even make it twenty first birthday while I was there. And you know finally of legal drinking. Age. Found a way to celebrate while I was there and flew. For that there to if I didn't mention that third tour, we were exclusively in the city of Lucia. Now having come back after being there you know just months br just the year before after the Blackwater contractors killed. We'll call right back into From the third tour. Because most of the units that fought so hard during the November major battle. VOLUSIA. Where now combat ineffective and Needed more personnel, they need reinforcements needed to be. Rotated out and have fresh marines brought in. So with our unit being so experienced having done so well during the first two tours and pull announced it on statue earning the presidential unit sanitation. Fighters will influ early in the. Some fucking way. We'll call back to pollution again. For, Thir- tour. Thurs Seven, eight month Rod. And something about going back. They're going back to the exact place. We've been only this time. We were in different, completely different quadrants of sectors of the city, the part of the city that we assaulted back in April. Was Very was uh, actually near the near the horrible near the highway. So from where that was to where we were now near the actual bridge where the. Blackwater contractors have been. Hung murdered. We were totally different sectors of the city. But. This time we actually had to live. Amongst and right next door to the Iraqis which made that. Entire tour on that much different. We lived in a large complex which used to belong to an ice maker. You ever want to know who to ball abso- or some of the balls are in a in a Middle Eastern or desert city. Go check out the guys who sell ice they make someone most money and the entire area and they live nice and in this particular time disguise compound ahead four or five different little home houses inside of. So our company to three hundred rains paid him monthly and took over his house. And had our different platoons you know living station throughout different parts of. and. We live right there in the city flew right on street you. Is Right as though. Just as though we had a street address you know here in the states we live. Right amongst the people and how. We weren't the only ones. So we had our third battalion, Fourth Marines. We had our line infantry companies live in in and amongst the city. different areas throughout flu while the main. Contingent of Aubrey Talion was stationed at Camp Bob will grab which was small camp adjacent to or just outside of Camp Volusia. Now, we would also call that can't wait G. camp up grabs also campaign G.. S.. Three or four headquarters was based, but a line companies, the garage we actually lived in the city as I said, see at three companies, India, Lima Kilo Company, and I was with Kilo Company living within the city of Lucia living amongst the Iraqi people in. You know buildings or factories that we could. Take over there never large enough to hold all of our men and. Humvees equipment and everything that we needed. To, operate and live in them and walk city. Now major reason we needed to be back so fast and Jane were two thousand, five influenza was because the parliamentary elections coming up at the end of the Januar out as they were scheduled to happen regardless. So. It regardless of. What the combat ineffectiveness looked like A. Combat units that had gone through the heart push of the battle of flu. They still needed to have this proper security posture in place. For the parliamentary elections so I am proud to say that our part of. The first democratic Election for the Iraqi parliament back in two thousand five where I truly got a understanding appreciate democracy and the power Each individual vote has I waited for sixteen hours on a rooftop with my saw with mime to forty nine and I watched Iraqis walk up. And get searched by my fellow marines and had the fingers dipped as they voted. For their Candidate choices for parliament for the first time since Saddam had been out of power. So I did get to experience that you know. Extreme. Actual democratic process and democracy being carried out before my eyes while I waited for any suicide bombers two snipers to potentially. Disrupt the Elections there volusia luckily, we had no incidents the elections took off. Were held without incidents did have very high of turn out there for Lucia not as high as. Any of the percentage we would have had here in the states but high enough that there were young like I said, people voted and even women that will have in their right. Acknowledged to participate and vote. And be searched and to come down and have their fingers dipped so that they also could acknowledge the they voted and finger dipping was so that they couldn't double voter cheat or they'll have their finger dipped in certain like pain or. Die So that. They couldn't get back in line cheater trying to double voter disrupt the democratic. Vote process that we're used to or that we might take for granted here in the states we try to make sure that was done on a grassroots level. And That kind of stuff isn't taught to. Your modern militaries militaries. Laura Your Marine said you're actually going to be a part of nation building like that. So because events like this that I later went on to become and our national were relations major. At UCF DOWN IN ORLANDO. I really became amazed. Democracy International, trade. Working with different military's the bridge size of Jonah's. Everything that evolved you know some to say made in China made another country. Just. Amaze me in. Blew me away especially when it came down to the largest of all. International. Oh. I. Guess showed Algiers say that I experienced in sage a team that being war. I wanted to become Big into understanding the US State Department diplomats and ambassadors. You know cost of let's Were foreign policy was. What the foreign policy of other countries were would their? Stances were and I really wanted to just be part of protecting them. But anyway going back to third torn Iraq most of that entire deployment outside of. The elections was. Fairly quiet peaceful and uneventful off did not have to fire one shot in anger or in Defence Pau during that. Deployment that I can recall. doesn't mean there weren't any deaths or any close calls during that a diploma because we still did have some we did lose marine sniper. And There were times that Iraqi soldiers or policemen now around us and. Killed and even worse than that, they were five female marines were killed and a car bomb. And because we bring the females out to search The Iraqi females for us because they had a big problem with us touching there the they are the Iraqi males and a problem with us as men touching their Iraqi females. So in order to respect their culture. And not disrespect males start rights or stuff like that. We would bring out our females from you know secretary or clerical type jobs. Or whatever jobs that they happen to be in communications or whatnot, and we pull them off for their jobs from camp, Volusia and bring them. On seven times into the city of flu. And bring them out to the entry control points the ACP so that they could search females force and make sure that they weren't bringing in you know. weapons of bombs at one particular day in two, thousand five. While those females were headed back to add a finish their day of work searching and. There were headed back to Camp Volusia when a vehicle that was strapped down with. Explosives a car bomb also known as VPI or vehicle borne improvised explosive device have Naroda Bonham detonate killing at least five of them. And I had to see the of the large black marked that left burn marked that left in the road. I had to see it and all the other marines that knew them had to see each day. For the rest of that deployment and What happened to them? No one. Sacrified ultimate sacrifices that they made. As females in the ruin core. Wow. This time we'll take a break. And bring. You saw the SARGE suburban the home. issue. You. Stole All. Next on sounds hard. Go on playboy check comb she's a hurry. Long, you can go. Netcom come a baby to my best song. That bitch. Dick that. She taught. Loosely negative online the movies. The movies might go running up Chris me with the next day she like who did. Win And just started gotten no keys to. Start. Starter. Hari stop of both they can go bowling part that's LP don't live little. Small stream that's healthy. Lau packing slowly. She. got a little good little league. got a room for the night entirely. Ready Surly on the block on ninety nine to five. Talk from five to nine drink wine eat pussy. That's one at the we hunting the light lunchtime guy he's way to launch. Good. Sign to say she just wanted. To. Say sometimes down boy you hard you way no can't go outside I can't go breaking change the Jane Gold Mining had. Like Big Bad that's rapper weeks in A. Row. Athlete. You. get bone aches biscuit flat gone on like this year or next. X Little Beach. All night shift Pluto the next to fail to. Hoggish, Let. North. Dad Was Marv Oh, been lit with his song step dawn from the sergeants playlist. You can find marvel been lit on Instagram at. Margo Been Lit. That is at M. A. R. V.. O. B.. E. E. IN L. I. T.. You can also find marvel on twitter. At Marvel too late. That is at M. A. R. V. O. T. O. L. I. T.. Now headed back in to that third tour. Said most of it was on eventful Most notably the besides the. Vehicle borne. ID, they killed those five female marines I did get injured during a third tour. And a very big way I'll never forget sometime in June of two, thousand five were doing a night patrol their flew. and this was while there was a curfew in effect of eleven PM. the US military data of Marshall on effect. So we were allowed emplo impose. A curfew on the city. And we were out our after had bob home zero, dark thirty midnight or so. Twelve thirty one am in the morning. All foot patrolling throughout the city. Look, for anyone I was out, I was possibly into something they shouldn't have been. Now we did end of fun individual at night and we zip tied him and all took him back with us. I happen to be the very last men in patrol that night commonly known as tail-end-charlie. my job was to watch the back of the patrol, the rear as we. Proceeded in patrol, tactically throughout the city streets of Volusia. Scan in the streets with our night vision goggles on our peck fours and Peck twos. Now There had been a whole that was blown in an Iraqi street by an artillery round or baby by a car bomb but this whole was about seven feet deep and have still full of jagged rocks and asphalt. and. water from the street is so from the road itself. As a our patrol passed this seven foot hole. No patrol happened to pass the word back to me that there was a hole there at night. So. Unfortunately, while I was turned around and watching the rear for most of my steps. As we proceeded throughout the city. As we got to one intersection. like I said, no one in any way through microphones throw Mike's head Mike's pass. Any kind of word back like a manhole whole to the right hole left a watch out for a hole on the left Smitty. None of this shit was passed back. So. I go from scannon the rear of the patrolling basically walking backwards to make sure knows following us. Had, our backs Hal. House watching our six. To me turning around and taking a step in fall face for seven feet deep anterior. My CEO. and on top of that swallow summit, a dirty ass water that was inside of that whole. So that Also had to take some meds later on to a assured that I had ingested anything. Like, kill me and they water. I have to admit I was pissed after felon that whole and I broke all noise discipline our so pissed I curse every motherfucker all team. I was hurt had to be assisted to be pulled out. South carrying. To throw 'em two OH, three grenade launcher at that time but I was any four Corp. I picked up rank I become a non commission officer and promoted while in Iraq. Settled was now leading Wyoming patrols volusia. Leave wound. Team. Caisley. Yeah I've had times where did leads? Lead. Patrols of the entire squad theraflu. On that particular night, I was in the lead though. As I said, I was telling man Charlie watching our six. And I told my CEO Fallen Seven foot hole. wos scannon streets with my night vision goggles my oh envy Geez am. Pick to pick four light and my muzzle. Of. Why AM to organize launch. Also, at that time, they have caught a peg to Alpha. Or Peck P Q at our say maybe. I was connected to your two three. So that, you also had. The same way you had a laser come from your Pec to it does long tear Muslim that you could only be seen the night vision. You now had that type of guidance for two or three Canadian launch could only be seen while weighing night vision goggles. So I didn't get hurt for that part of the deployment had to spend the rest of it, find another menial duties and ways to assist help out the team. You know whether that was radio watcher. Watching gear or other things to ride out the time for last month or two since I was hurt with the tournament sale couldn't really help. And not do anything as much as I wanted to however regardless once we got close to our deployment ending around August and we knew that the last patrol was coming up regardless of how much my knee heard. I did gather myself together to say that yeah. Since I walked in that country, I was GONNA walk out on her last patrol had jumped my happy as sin. Hobbled and gimped and went both out on foot patrol out of Vara. Ford Operating Base within the city of Louisiana back and on foot. Just walk say a I was a part of that last patrol on foot. And The weirdest thing for me I have to admit is that I have finally bought into the fact that I actually might survive. After having three tours and after you know the entire time always thinking, Hey, that third time's a charm so I knew I was going to die at any time during the third tour. And there's always wondering which way I was going to get it It hit me during last week or two it'll deployment that. A my happy. Dumb Ass. Might just be lucky and blessed enough to survive and stay alive. So I had vercel of. Mine Ocean. Of My mindset. In terms of me having my ru never allow myself to get caught up in warning to live warning to go home. Would it be begging to too much? We don't survive stuff because you can only keep yourself stressed out and worried about whether or not you're going to be hit or Daf so much before you burn yourself out you just Kinda have to put it in God's hands to say fuck their role would roll the dice. Let the chips fall for were they may regret to kill any enemy while the focus that you have to in there for tranny grunts. As your signed to an as your fellow grunts or to. because. That's what the mission is for three eleven's mission of the Marine rifle squad. Let me say real quick. Four zero. Three. Eleven is to locate close with. And destroy the enemy by fire maneuver and to repel the enemies assault by fire and close combat. Excuse me bunch of Marines over kick last curse me out forgetting that wrong would. Excuse me gross. Soleil night I'm. Just trying to get this off my chest tonight about this third tour. So I was hurt. We ended the tour return home. Again around August of two, thousand, five, I return home for thirty days. Back, to Orlando. This time. I. Had, left my car in Orlando. So the summer flew home tour Orlando from. My base and Kelly and then drove my car back again crop from Florida to Kelly. That time by myself Florida Kalorama so Stayed in hotels and IT Works Co. again. There's I. Think. And I. Just had a blast you know decompressing and riding across the country coast to coast. So while Florida to Kelly again. Now upon arriving back in base. I was given a different roles going from active. Marie Riflemen to instructor and myself some fellow marines we were all. Assign become instructor controllers at a program called the Mojave Viper Program out at twenty nine Palms California where. Pretty. Much each unit that had to head out Iraqi Afghanistan. was responsible for coming out to this trying to package and the middle of the desert where they went through thirty days of Kekes, or combined armed exercises where they would learn to Immerse themselves in the full combination of Marine Air Ground Combat? Where that's with you know Gaza on the ground planes, helicopters, tanks, artillery your grunts on the ground. Everyone you get to see the full assault makes of all of us on that big huge nine hundred square hundred mile base of desert space out in the Mojave desert of Southern California located in tournament palm's cow for you. Now. While they were there, also they would have to go through the Mojave vehicle program additional takacs, which was additional two week or ten day program where they'd have to go through operation searches urban assault, which was similar to Paintball only, we use a non millimeter paintball rounds. non-militant around full of paint actually hurt you know to teach our marines less? we'd also re-teach in them, control, C., p. APPs, or veal vehicle checkpoint operations. VCPI APPS. And we would culminate with. An actual exercise in which? We had Iraqi actual Iraqis in. and. ever speaking Americans I hired by actor acting companies to come in and act to pretend to be Iraqi sweeter entire MINNIE's city built out their. Door resemble in many Middle Eastern city where we had actors said, we have submarines acting as actors with some actual actors. said, that's actually spoke. Cook did have Middle Eastern descent. and. They were all come out and try to make things as realistic as possible for the marine units that were about to head down range to either. Echo of Ghanistan I held that role as an instructor from. I WANNA say Timber October two, thousand five until March of two, thousand six and which I Was Allowed to. In my first my initial enlistment for school cut for. An early entrance maturely exit from my contract so that I could Make the Summer Semester for UCF down and Orlando Florida. And that's what I. Did I moved back home to Orlando went to school got my unarmed and armed security licenses. For Security Guard or I also had already had my concealed weapons permit for years. So I found work different, armed and unarmed spots fulltime overnight while attending college full time during the day. Eventually I was able to land a SPA with the Lockheed Martin Missile. Fire Control Facility in Orlando. Working there overnight during the graveyard shift and still go to UCF during the daytime. So I could keep my security clearance active work in a Lockheed. Because I really had. An initial plan of one I to graduate. From UCF, and still have my security clarence active so that I could jump right into the State Department's Bureau of Diplomatic Security and I really want to be a part of their mobile security detachment there amnesty, their team that can respond to any embassy. And a consulate any thread on an ambassador diplomat within I believe six to twelve hours around the world. As the team I really wanted to be on a really WANNA make it to after graduated from. So that's why really harped on Warning to work so hard so long. For the Period that I did the year so that I did just as everyone says, so you can gain experience. So I had my wartime experience I had Macaws experience, and then I was gaining that corporate security level experience while being a licensed armed and unarmed security guard in our security officer and Orlando Florida. This time we'll take another break. And bring you right back into service players. Luba. But it's the table abundance. The. In the bay by. Bath. Able. To good. Babe a date. As the. Abundance. The paper. Bat. Abundant the. With the good. The. Able. To. Be. So. Cute. Diana Boma. Boma tease. I thank God, I'm breathing ahead. Three Times Brennan. Geeky by the of scars. Glad be in this. They to feed it elder made us. All to. Every Monday almost weekly sold it call for rebound on. Thank got phone. Couldn't Plano by your net. Aside he agent mill certain into t is they harvest paine field depend on defeat him delight that senior spirit we will eradicate the demon ultra room. You might be your phone gps, his Taylor GM control, how you perceive it better believe it up what you want. But in. Favor abundant the payback. Favor abundance of payback prequel to good healthy able watch. Brand to good. Fame. Dana. Abundance of. Funds, Babe abundance, the payment, the good bath the able to Ping Brandon goodbyes when Babe. Date. Date. That was Jonas Wheeler with his song g. a excuse me GV. Af good vase abundance and favor. Again. That was Jonas F wheeler with his song. GV F- good vibes abundance a favor. Now, Jonas can be found on instagram at. zirk nation. Again. At his honesty Graham at Zirk Z. E. R. K. Nation. How? Briefly while as I said. Going to college UCF. Working fulltime overnight Lockheed Martin working for school for time during the day UCF. I was lucky enough to be using the use using the Jabil also had an academic scholarship and state of Florida, the Florida Bright Future Scholarship, and on top of that I had a scholarship was named military scholar by the Horatio Alger Association for Distinguished Americans back in two thousand seventeen. So I did have some pretty decent things going for myself at the time after having been at three time warp better. By two. Thousand Eight. After by two thousand and eight I was recalled by the marine. So I came home one day. From from Cook from class and had a fedex letter at my door saying that unaided. To. report. I need to call a certain marine number a report to a base in Kansas City within you know. Four, Forty, eight or seventy, two hours something like that. So I called the number, get a plane ticket. flou- to this base get evaluated to find out whether or not. I'm going to be recalled and have to go back to Afghanistan, and for whatever reason I wasn't pulled in and but I didn't know at the time I was having here in issues inherent problems. So I don't think I was making it for the hearing standards anymore after all the explosions aren't experienced during the first three tours in Iraq. So. I continued back home and. Maybe something about after being recalled man that just. Brought a bunch of things back out on my survey out of. The Earlier. Marine Corps life. into. My now civilian life as a student. and. Security Guard I had been out for two and a half years out active duty and going to class and. I was just about to enter my senior year when it for some reason. Everything that I had forgotten about during the war came back. Everything. From three tours of not remembering of suppressant of just carrying all life is normal and being happy to be alive back in states seem to come to a pause and seemed flood me rush way and that's when I knew how struggling with PTSD. That's why I didn't know the name of it but I knew something didn't feel right I. Knew I was having sleeping problems I was having their anger issues I was wondering why was I wasn't happy without me being as angry as I was during the war while wasn't able to focus or seem to be able to concentrate her. You know just performing the way I wanted to. At this time. GonNa End Episode Twenty. Two on that note. and. Let you know that from this point forward, we will go into. How? PTSD. Ravage my life and be my demise slanted ended up being televised and psychiatric facilities on five separate occasions. So please keep in mind everything that you see done now with Sergeant War Dog Sergeant Dog, TV or the. Or Dog. Trail a all this has been done after I hit absolute rock-bottom with PTSD with depression now with drugs or substance abuse because those are my demons just with my own mind and suicidal ride rations and battles suicide prevention so. just you know problems with thoughts of. Worthlessness helplessness survivor's guilt. This is the episode scholars you know our that's GonNa. That's basically anchor that point of allowing you to know when myself PTSD after my combat experiences did enter the realm and into. This store and enter my hike down my own. Dog Trail is been sergeant your dog. So twenty to salute. No issue stalled out. But I got some. I'M A dog. Tells what happened through? I`Ma Dogu for. Eighty. You. Radio.