Good morning good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world, I'm James Scofield. The writer of the stories in season to this podcast behind the bottom line. Can I, ask you a question. What do you really know about the people you work with? What I've learned is that everybody has an unusual story to tell about themselves and the things that they've done. Over the years I've turned these people on defense into short stories for various magazines. In each episode of behind the bottom line I, read you my original story and afterwards I ten something about it's real life background. Today stories could video games. And while you're listening, ask yourself. What are you prepared to do at work to get something you really want? Roddy looked to the silver object in his hand. It was heavy and powerful. He hoped he could do this quickly and the t would feel nothing. He looked for one last time. It is familiar reflection in the mirror. And lifted the object to his head handshaking. Put it down again, breathing fast. But he knew he had to do it. He. Wrote Baldwin. Junior, Librarian from the British Library in London had been sent to work in the Department of European. In tuitions. Deli for short in Brussels. What he needed now. Was To win a competition against his colleagues from the other national libraries of the European Union. Again! He raised the electric clippers his head. And this time began to shave off his hair. The competition. It started a month earlier when the head of the Department Mr Van Group. Informed them that the European Commission wants to make a film about Delis, work. The film team would focus on one person in the department and follow him or her around for a week. What kind of passenger they looking for Mr Van Group is ready. Oh somebody to make libraries look exciting and fun I believe. Make a recommendation to them next month when they visit, he replied before continuing the meeting. During the coffee break. They will love the idea. Fun said Florian an authority on medieval manuscripts from the stocks. People take in Berlin. The I'm all serious things to focus on in Europe today. No. Everybody agreed. Then they all went home and began plotting how to win this competition. Document storage expert from the National Library of Sweden Stockholm used scientific method. He spent a weekend analyzing videos produced by the commission and made a list of the most frequent character types. On Monday. It was clear that something awful happened to him. His cool Scandinavian suits open, necked, white shirts and quiet intellectual personality. had been replaced by something much more colorful. That evening Roddy took him to a nearby pub for a drink. Well. Yes, thank you kindly. Beyond said snapping him on the back. I don't mind if I do. I'll have a pint of Guinness will. As they stood at the bar, wasting for their drinks. On nooses Emerald Green Tie, which was covered in little gold hops. Short ready, and it's a fight Manua. Continued. When the drinks arrived, he looked around and said in a cheerful voice. She think we might have a sing song in here later. Said Roddy. You don't like Guinness. You Never Sing and you're wearing a truly ugly tie. Why are you pretending to be Irish? You won't even any good at it. Beyond looked around to see if anybody was listening. I've done my homework. He whispered. The oddest have total control of the European Commission. Seventy, eight percent of all people interviewed in two hundred eight thousand nine videos I watched Irish semi chances of being the star of his video a statistically much better, if I act Irish to. Sante. wrote he shook his head sadly. Drank his em and went him. As he left. Byun was singing the wild rover. And, so it continued. Fluorine grew little consultants bid under his bottom lip and invested in smartphone. Petro from the national. Library in Helsinki began wearing makeup contact lenses and shorter skirts. Only. Roddy couldn't find a new image. Until? One evening at the cinema. When he saw Bruce Willis. Yes he sort. That should be the new look for librarians. Tough, sexy, indefinitely exciting. The next morning. Ruddy shaved off his hat. He arrived slightly late for the ten o'clock department meeting, and the people from the film company had gone out to get coffee. His colleagues were already sitting in the meeting room. His bald head caused a sensation and to his surprise. They suddenly all seem to believe he would win video role. Wow, said chlorine. We don't have a chance. Yeah at it'd be on as he took off his green tie no chance. Push this look. Brilliant, he's. Studied Petra. Where well said Mr Van Group as he entered the room followed by two strangers a woman. This is why your called Roddy Baldwin yes. Everybody laughed politely, but please continued Mr Van, group my guests. He waved his hand. The people who are clearly from the film company are here to select all star and so we. The guests have been whispering to each other, but then the woman leant forward looked ready and said. You! You, just the right. Look the central character. Even your names great. Rodman Pink with pleasure. Thanks for talking about him. Tough. Sexy unexciting. Thank you said Roy. That's wonderful. But I'd like to suggest another name for my character in the video. Let's hear it. Well what about Bruce? Like Bruce Willis began patrick he so. Bruce the woman said slowly Bruce. Yes, that could work. Bruce the bookworm. There was a moment silence. Florian beyond and Petra seem to stop breathing. Bruce! Boosts. The WHO. Australia. The bookworm she answered i. was telling your colleagues just before arrived this videos for children, so we need somebody, fun and friendly. We have this bright red worm costume made out of Latex. With your whole head painted red I. think you're going to look really. Cute said patch just like Bruce Willis. Video. Games was written for business spotlight in two thousand twelve. and. I think what you can see very clearly here is how much I kind of wish that I. Had managed to find myself a job working for the European Commission. European Commission's folded I. Don't work for them. I never applied. But I've always thought it would be really cool place to work. And you've got the. People from all over Europe working there in also some interesting projects, how which directly affect people's lives? So I've always had this. Society Romantic Vision would be like. To work for the European Commission and I, suppose also it. European Commission reflects my my ideal really that. People from different nations come together in order to work on common projects for. Everybody's benefit. Now, this is not how. The European Commission is seen by a lot of people in the UK. And? What I! What I also think in the stories I'm making a little bit fun of the European Commission. And I'm. This is perhaps. Typical I suppose of of many people taking in two, thousand and twelve. We didn't. British people didn't see. Membership of the European Union as anything other than total, there was never any idea entered my head that Britain whatever needs a union. And, although I'm poking gentle fun at European Commission here, unfortunately there on awful lot of people who are an awful lot more, vicious and. A moral in the. Things that they said things invented about the European Commission. And sadly that is something which led to Brexit. I like the idea that the people working for. This fictitious department should hastily point out sometimes in some of my stories. People who've got a little bit upset about. Things I've said. About the pattern time for example. But the positive European library institutions or Deli. Is entirely fictitious far as I know. Managed to find any references to it in any on a on the Internet. Anyway I like the idea that the people working for Denny so. Essentially Librarians INS could be infected by this desire for for fame and stardom and that they would. Transition from their normal cells into something completely different when the prospect of appearing in Video Phil was dangled before them. I'm and. You might wonder why was that I. Have made beyond my cool Swede. decided to turn all Irish in this was. Actually something of an urban legend I think I'm that. I bought into a little bit at that time. which was that the Irish made up an awful lot of. People working in the European Commission and I'm since then I've done. Research. Done it before I. wrote the story, but anyway at the time. It seemed to me. Every time I clicked on information film about the EU there was always some sort of Irish participation in it so I got the feeling that, although the Irish, relatively small part of the European Union terms of numbers that they actually had a very active role in the European Commission. And, so I thought okay. It would be funny if beyond who is very cool and laid back should try to remake reinvent himself. Have a makeover as as somebody Irish. and which can also see is with the character Florian. From Gemini Florian Growth Himself. A little consultants be just beneath his bottomless and this back in two thousand twelve was quite fashionable I'm and I was working at around a lot of consultants and these little Mustang leased almost all she sees little beads. They grew underneath their bottom lip, so no mustachioed bid anywhere else just a little. Piece of fluff growing underneath their bottom lips to really annoy me. I always think it looked like I left some of their breakfasts. On their on their face before they come into work. but it was very cool for time, and so that's why I decided to give that to Florida. And Roddy deciding not to make himself look cool and awesome. He should try to make himself look like Bruce Willis that amused me. I think it's always very interesting when you have an actor like Bruce Willis. WHO calls his probably most famous? For his. tough-guy roles that John Maclean in die hard. But he's also done an awful lot of other things as well. And so rudy obviously sees Bruce Willis in his diehard Rolla. Are Rough tough and extremely cool. But Petra sees him somewhat differently. Petra sees him as perhaps. The, comic character in friends who dates Rachel for three episodes, all as rj. The raccoon in over the hedge and I think it's interesting how? Two people with a similar background could have a very different image of a particular person depending which films they've seen that person. So I hit the video games amused you and light me. You see Bruce Willis as pretty cute really. I hope you enjoyed this episode of behind the bottom line I'll be back next week with a story called nine hundred nine percent with two of my most popular characters Julian Paula. I say them imus popular characters because of all the stories in behind the bottom line those which include Julian polar get the most listeners. Anyway you'll is and my favorite anarchists of working for bank now and I can guarantee a fair amount of Kale's. Please subscribe on spotify Apple Google podcast, which other you to make sure you never miss an episode and tell your friends right online. Review all right to me directly at James. Dot, Rupert Dot Scofield at gmail.com to let me know what you think. Until next episode of behind the bottom line, this is James Scofield saying goodbye. and.