Audioburst Search

The Pussy Centipede #55: Kitty To The Future


It's pussy time in America. The time has come for another episode of the pussy centipede. Can you dig it? Man. Can you dig it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now the pussies. Now. Ha ha I am ULA the bunny, vampire in I in back to narrate this new episode of the pussy centipede my partner Princess Di is busy this week. She had to go help clean the Royal cottage, 'cause Meghan Markle had bad diarrhea and pooped her panties all over the place this week. I have a very special episode for it is written by horror writer, Eric handy. I'd like to think Eric for writing this episode and telling his tale a tale that is known as kitty to the future. What does begin kitty Krueger was cruising the streets in his nineteen fifty seven Lincoln continental, which he picked up for a song at a police auction. It didn't have a CD player. So he couldn't listen to his, Katie mix CD. He had stayed up all night to make he stopped at a red light looking at the huge moon in the mid day sky when a man jumped into the passenger seat. Mr. Hey, why I know you your Mark ham? No. Your luke. No copyright infringement laws. I had to change my name to Duke Lucas is an honor and a privilege. I loved your work on the nineteen ninety flash series. Thanks that. I don't have time to chat. I need your help. I've got a text on my Android phone stuff. The empire's on their way here to destroy earth. What can I do for you? You see that moon up ahead? Yes. That's no moon. Well, technically it is. It's the do moon and it's the empire secret weapon. I need you to take me there gonna fuck yourself. Duke later, I need you to drive me in your nineteen fifty seven Lincoln continental helped me kitty, Krueger, you're my only hope kiddie thought it was over what? He really liked earth. It was the only place where a cool kitty could eat pizza while watching slasher films on Amazon prime. You but happen, we get up there from down here. We'll have to take the castle ramp. The castle ramp now. The kessel ramp was the longest moose vertical ramp in all the world skateboarders would try to ride it to the heavens, but didn't have the fortitude to withstand the sheer size or the gravity. Kitty once tried when he was younger, but still cool. Kitty like all the rest he failed. But now things were different. He was more humble now. And he had in nineteen fifty seven Lincoln continental wa. I am Bunyala let's roll, but I, I need to get some gas. They got some gas which Duke Lucas paid for on his visa credit card. He didn't get any cashback rewards for the fuel purchase. But he'd told kitty that desperate times called for desperate measures they drove to the base of the kessel ramp. I afraid. Gas. Don't be afraid my pussy friend, fear, gives into hate, and hate gives into the dark side. Plus, this car is in damn Skippy. Kitty floored, the accelerator, and they flew up the ramp towards the doom moon, light started to flash around them, reds, and blues swirled in the air, something was definitely happening. They near the top of the ramp. Everything went black. And then I think we made it there's no, there's no ramp either, we're still on earth. I can't get any reception on my Android phone outlets. Drive into town. And see if we can find any clues that theater now playing hot dog the movie what I feared is true. Yeah. When we the ramp, we were travelling at eighty eight miles per hour in a Lincoln continental that means one thing, we've gone back in time, time travel, we've arrived in the year nineteen Eighty-four. This means we can stop the empire before they even form we can we can change history and for your role in corvette summer. True. And you're wrapping your car around a tree. Point taken. A woman strolling down the sidewalk caught kitties. I, she was a hot piece of tail who looked familiar, it didn't take long for kitty realize who she was in the flesh. Katy Perry's mother Katy Perry was a modern goddess no-one put her in a corner. Kitty did the math in his head. What's that? Now I have to make a kiddie stop. What are you saying? We have work to do if I can make a Katy Perry getting, then I will be responsible for the creation of object of my desire. How that doesn't make any sense. We hit the bricks Duke, Lucas save the world on your own time. Fine. Don't expect me to thank you. When okay with Duke Lucas hitting the bricks kitty. Drove alongside Katy Perry's mother. Who the hacker you? I'm the pussy of your dreams set back from the edge of oblivion to impregnate Hugh, by the look in your eyes I can tell you're telling the truth Bari. It's nineteen Eighty-four. And I did just at six lines of flow, while listening to a flock of seagulls. What's your name sugar and five minutes won't matter? I wish I had time but I had a date with my husband. We're going to see Beverly Hills cop, and then he'd sushi made me. Gam made me. Switch played bitch. My husband's gonna kick your ass. Wait a second meow. It's as let's do some blow slap on a laser desk, and have a threesome. I really want to watch Beverly Hills cop come on. It'll be on HBO and a year. Well, I guess my husband will be okay with the three some he better. Now. Any better not touch me. Earl jam. I kid he s then a. Yeah. Yeah. Now you have any Blau. What no one in nineteen eighty four could no was that in two thousand nineteen when the doom moonshot it's reflecting lasers into earth's core destroying the planet. A psychic shockwave from billions of dead, humans animals puppies, resonated throughout all space time when the shock wave retracted at pulled all people in kitties back to their proper time. So as kitty was about to lay at the kitty smackdown on some historical tale. Kitty was pulled back to the present. The present were Duke Lucas must have defeated the empire because there was no trace of the empire or the dreaded do moon. Just the kitty crews in the boulevard, the end. I am bun ULA. I hope you enjoy today's story once again, written by horror writer, Eric handy. Look for him on Twitter. Oh, have all the links in the show. Notes also to his Amazon paid for all his books. Ha also, if you're listening today tonight on our YouTube channel Bunia, la-, TV will be doing a special livestream quiz show to give away a bundle adul- to the winter. It's the celebrate hitting a hundred subscribers. And if you have been watching YouTube, not YouTube, Bunia, la-, TV, make sure to check it out. We have all kinds of great content, all episodes of the pussy set appeared are uploaded, their plus music episodes of pussy high Bunia, la-, reads bunny, la-, plays bunny, la-, relax, all kinds of bunny, la- content once again, have a good day. I am Bunyala Ma. The podcast you just heard was made using anchor ever thought about making your own podcast anchor makes it really easy for anyone to get started. It's a one stop shop for recording hosting and distributing fat casts. Best of all it's one hundred percent free. Sign up now at anchor dot FM slash new, that's anchor dot FM slash new to get started.

Coming up next