1000 We Solved Racism Special
Three two one. One thousand episodes of yo is this racist. That means we solved it. I mean at this point racism got to be done. We've done on times. What a relief. I mean, it has to be after a thousand episodes of a podcast talking about racism. There's none left we fixed. It. We did it. I'm Andrew I want to. Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You started this long before me. So really the thousand is yours and yours alone. No. I want to say I mean, really I you coming on and ramping up to just a radical all of racism. Yeah. I just what I do be so helpful and we're we've just done such a good job. We're great team. We want to pretty as well. Thank you so much in helping us completely radically from racism. Thank you for having me. Glad to be a part of the team. God does everybody just feel like a sign of relief? I feel lighter. Yeah. I feel lighter. I feel like I'm instantly making more money. Asterisk never never enough money. What do you? What do we want to do for thousands of Sodhani? We've talked about this before I know we've probably should've planned something because we have guests. We did invite people to come. But like what are they what are they going to do talk about now that it's over? It's weird. How our voice mail inbox just just disappeared. Yeah. It actually deleted itself. Google sent me an Email that said you the you're all good on the rest of these Google Google just wrote you're good. Yeah. It just said you good. And then that's it. Google you good. So weird seems unprofessional in some ways. But and I'm like, are you adopting African American vernacular English with that you good doesn't matter anymore because it's done finished. It. So I thought just you know, for for thousand episode we have some of maybe some of our greatest guests back onto. Yeah. Figure out what we're gonna do. Now that we're gonna do the show ranks the show we are in a contract. Stay joining us. So never let's have some of our smartest. Invest people. Come on. Who's this first cool person Andrew, well, I of course, we have enemy of not just the show, but also of much of humanity. Enemy of humanity. Not just of humanity. But also of himself. Boing mother fuckers. I guess we fade this out now. It going that was the entrance music that he chose for himself. So you see why he is an enemy of did. I'm tired of the disrespected Nickelback receives we all love them at some point. Until someone told us to hate them. You just show up with a problem don't show up with an ax to grind plus year. Co host of the culture kings all around wreck on tour. About can I think you guys for solving racism? Oh my God. Turkey's trying so hard for our about sixty episodes. Yeah. I know you guys just wanna head and you guys took it home. You know what I'm saying? Like, we ran like we were on the ball. Yeah. No rent it. We hundred and forty more we had this. Yeah. You would have gotten there for one hundred percent hundred percent. We would have. Between one thousand and fifteen fifteen hundred hours of just talking about racism is guaranteed to be solved. We just got an early start. I mean, but I'm still proud that. It was you guys. There's no jealousy. I will not be bringing it up again. Your left is bulging. Very stress. All right. Well, are you down to help us figure out what we do? Now. I already have smart ideas. But I'll say until the other guests are intro. Also wanna let everyone know that Andrew was all really want to intro at grass this thing. Yeah. That. Joke. Got him. He was because you had. I was like he's trolling us. I'm not trolling you guys. You love. It. Back is amazing. All right. We're gonna flawlessly do the second one. Our next guest. If you're a fan of the Disney film Reckitt Ralph in when she plays herself. Which is so I don't know if you understand how cool that is to not only be in the Disney film, but to voice your GAM self like, you're just you're cool enough to exist in this Disney universe. She's also co host or the podcast deficit all around champion guests, please welcome Dani Fernandez. Yeah. Okay. One of my dating apps. This is like the it's one that has like you have to pick a song for to introduce yourself. And like this is what it. I love it, by the way. Edgar when you had yours was like three doors down. Their their own gods. Thank you. I love the fact that you guys have me as one of your favorite guests because I literally only been on once and that was last month. Episode thousand guests I am I came in right under the wire, you went hard at telling people how to dunk on racist on Facebook and people really liked that whatever like Danny should do this. Do it a lot? Yeah. I mean, obviously, not not on talk show from us we need this. But will you don't because he solved racism. We want to thank you because Latinas are one of the least paid in this entire country anymore. Done bank. On every check their Bank accounts today. It felt good extra zero's. Don't really good. And then we're going to you know, sort of similarly a guest who I think maybe we got more like positive feedback uniformly on an episode than and certainly a lot. I was just like damn, this is fucking awesome. Joey Clift is back. That's right. That's me. This is I feel lame. Everybody picked like a funny song introduce them mantle tribe called red like an aboriginal first nations like essentially dub step group. This is very cool. Shut your mouth. I was like, oh, I should have had like Nickelback. No, we all Nickelback. Racism solve convinced that we love Nickelback. Told him his back. You actually did have a good joke. One. We just went with that. Or stone cold Steve Austin's theme, which would have been Craig. No, no, one needs to judge their pick cakes are Valerie this. It's going to be an ad for you. TV? That is so much hype. Yeah. There we go. Oh, this is this is. Honest. Indistinguishable from Nickelback. Click. Walking to the ring. Yeah. Thanks so much for. Got a lot of love from the episode as I was similar to Danny. I think it was on nine hundred ninety six. Really representing the last ten episodes. Also, be honest. I feel like we have like the memory of like a gecko. So we'd like to see. We we saw. And selfishly. I was like I want people that I met. Get a ton of early people episode one is listening to this. To the score brothers cook. They did not like my joke. When I said, see all why people do look. Back that you. Original rates heads out. There say thank you so much racism guys the pets. Elizabeth Warren stuff has been really tough for native. So like, it's just a weight off our shoulders seemed big, but no, which we just did it. Yeah. That's nice at all tied up in a neat. Little bow. Joey, you had something you wanted to promote because I want to do that before we instate a rule. Okay. Great. Oh, yeah. Okay. So if you're in Los Angeles area, an animated short I made a screening as part of film festival called Elliot's Skains fest. The short is called telling people your native American when you're not native is telling a barrier air when you're not a bear. It's very long name. Very funny short screening this Sunday, November eighteenth is part of the one thirty PM short film block at the TCL Chinese theater at Hollywood Boulevard. That's exciting is being native a bunch of native films planet. This film festival. That's cool. I'm going to be there this knee Cuna afterwards. This is the festival premiere this shore. If you wanna swing by and just like ask me questions about native stuff. This is a good thing to go to and LA's confessed. It's happened and pretty much like all believe as of this airing this week by shorts on November eighteenth. It's there's a bunch of events in the days before that. So yeah, just gotta Elliot's confessed dot com, you can see some really great event. So if you want to support native arts check this thing out guys, I love that. And it's clear that people do because people have been tweeting about how to support you. So that's the way to do it at confess were playing. Two. The voice of Pocahontas. To meet all the princesses at the premiere. Princess, pay only mwana only talked to the voice of Mona. And she was awesome. And but like, yeah, we were all up on stage taking a picture together. Yeah. I was gonna say I'm in the second one. Which is Ralph breaks Brel. Did I say the wrong thing? It's okay. It's confusing. But yeah, yeah. And I I have a cameo. There's actually a couple of cool cameo. So if you're in comedy, or if you like comedians, you'll see some people popping up in their cool and then other than that. Yeah. I have a podcast with if you wanna weigh deficit, and we cover the past past present and future of different phantoms. Joey was on our episode or goosebumps episodes. Very spooky. Yeah. Yeah. So check that out love it at your what you got a web series sad. Boy, Edgar you can check out my podcast with Jakisa Neo called culture kings. We just talk pop culture and other stuff from a black respect. And then if you are in Osaka. Japan on February sixth Nickelback, we'll be playing. On Thursday, February seven they'll be in Nagoya. And then also we can finally talk about. Ninth. They'll be in Tokyo. It's a great album sale is up right now a nickel. Album called silver. Yeah. That was their like their their second album. It was like it was there that was their big hit with all their song. Autograph? We're going to do we're going to start the cross promo. You can also see Edgar at the Chicago. That's right. That's right. Where one hundred percent guaranteed. I will be body slamming him in the lobby of Chicago. Theo around price, seven forty journalists asking you correct? No questions. Edgar. All right. We're gonna have some more fun guests joining us, but we need to instate a little bit of a rule. I hate to be all time. Sold schoolmarm Newsom over here. But since we have solved racism, and it was hard work that Andrew and I did that in front of a microphone talking loosely with almost three planning almost an hour a week almost. And sometimes we had to be on a text thread about what we were going to do. So that was an additional fourteen minutes a week. This was hard work to a radical racism on us. Can you guys like fucking respect our hard work for a minute. And we're going to institute a rule where we can't talk about racism anymore for the duration of this show. I guess we're done for the rest of the heat death of the universe. Exactly. But then well, we talk about well guys. We're gonna get to that. But so what we've done is anchored. I have handed out a bunch of poker chips. One million dollars poker chips. Yeah. He's assigned arbitrary values to these poker chips forgotten. So if anyone does bring up anything race related as Arvid by Andrew, and I we're going to charge them and we're going to determine the amount of their crime. They're gonna have to put it into kitty and the person who's little bowl in the middle loses. What happens to them? I don't I don't remember. We'll decide at the end get kicked off the show. We'll do a kind of like a reality. Well, this this this is just the start. We're just gonna try out. We're going to figure out all the different types of podcast. We could be we the world is open to us now. Because like, okay. So you guys are all of marginalized identities. So I'm sure what's the percentage of like when you go onto a show that you have to talk about that is what eighty percent. Yeah. I would say even on iffy. And I show we run into it quite a bit because it's a nerd show. And you would think oh nerd stuff at nerds are racist. Racist. And there's a lot of racism or racists. So. Penalty. That. We were we were doing sneaks tres and here, I didn't know that we're playing no a little fans I walked her into it not walking. The real world makes good feels like appearance game. Where like you guys are just trying. I mean, just not even you're not even really recording. It. We gave you ten thousand dollars for nothing. High school Mascow. Could you talk about that again? Yeah. Because it's not a problem anymore. Yes. End up having to talk about it just by being from pede. No, I'm I'm keeping my mouth shut. All right. No. I could. Yeah. We do we and and also just like when they cast them when they're whitewashing of different characters and filled. It comes up on. Yeah. So yeah. So you do. Yeah. And so we want to alleviate some of that. Because seriously. It does get to be a little annoying when people suddenly are like, hey, please come on my podcast and just like, you know, hang out. But you realize you're not there to hang out there to just talk about the ills of the world and about being a person of color, and it's a little stressful. And sometimes we get jealous all these other white pockets, whatever they want even when you're on a white want. Oh, yeah. When you're on a white crazy, rich Asians came out. I got more. You became the Tiffany haddish of the press circuit. With everything. They wanted to hear because you had a slightly off. Take of just like this is fine. But I don't really love it. They were like Asian man doesn't love at the end of every one of those. They're like, okay. Can we get a normal Asian person? I had chips to give I would have been we're giving up a little light pass for this segment 'cause we're ramping up to you. What was really again, not daddy. We penalize her for no. That is a source for news because like November is like native American awareness month. It's just it's the month that we've kind of associated. We're like, oh, that's where we can. We can state that natives because we get a lot of like generals in meetings and asked to be a lot of podcasts and panels where it really feels like it just a white person prodding us and being like. Yep. Still here. That is by the way, exactly what we do when you were on the show. So thank you. Well, and that's also why we were so happy to have you back on this episode where you don't have to do that. You have to pay a small to black penalty. If you like. Specifically. Question. Shit ready to read up the wicked the Nickelback Wikipedia, right? I was gonna say I was drunk with power. But of course, I am drunk with champagne. All right. So because we get envious of what these other white podcasts. Get to do which is whatever the fuck. They want including nothing right including a race to do. The least we want to explore what we're going to do next. So we want to try and do what some of these white shows do and we've compiled a list of just like General, John rose. Okay. We got a long list, and we need what we want is your help to figure out how gonna. Specifics pitching on like what it could be. We can kind of like try out little tryout little sample some skits. Betts o improvise skits actually put in a coin districts in the word skits. Little skit on little skit. No, that's not. That's not a put a thing in the bowl thing. That's a give me twenty. All right. So now the penalty thing really starts. Now where essentially white people. Our dream away. I thought about it. You just said it, but yeah, you're right. We're white straight men every. Always one squad is spicy to spice, drinking a sparkling elder water here. Wolf got weird water? If if you're listening. Indyk? No. It's a sparkling. Yeah. Elder. Our feels it's the whitest water. So since we're all white people straight. Why guys? Now, what are you guys going to do with development deals you've God higher all of my friends, all my friends on the rail of your white friends? Right. We all grew up in the suburbs. Like the same thing. Huge fans of the goonies, brother, three pilots. He's nineteen years old. I think he can do it. Got a lot of. All right. So the first one. To we weren't going to buddies talking about murders. Could you murder podcast? What would our murder podcast Android did a murder pike as? You should call. It yo is this murder. I love that. And so we are the so these are real murders been gruesomely murdered. We're just gonna goof on it into that. Yeah. True. True. Say that we're trying to get that murder trivializing money. I think that everybody's out here doing a murders. That were not sure if what if clear cut murders. Clear that this was like a guy who likes shot up, his wife and his case. Admit it and be this cover. So then we do an hour of like what happened? Painful. Ouch. So Andrews like actually commenting on the murder out. So are you talking about doing reenactments alley? Yeah. No. It would be like a reaction video too grizzly ass murder. Would be like we we watch. Mark. Happening. So you watch a snuff film. Yeah. Yeah. Then you just give goofy commentary on me, this seems problematic. Well, we get sponsors totally mattresses. Yeah. Y'all casper mattress. Mattress is an actual sponsors show. That's fine. Now, there isn't a single thing. We could do that isn't more fucked up than the address we actually the way we actually treat are real sponsors. The fact that they still like us is insane incomprehensible. Sponsor anyone. Podcast. It's interesting. They don't sponsor sponsor back enough. I well now we will now that we're white. Great. So we just we'll just pencil and Nickelback our good, I'm never gotten into true crime. Because I really don't get scared. I'm just like, oh, this is an actual murder makes me sad. Happy and you could talk about how much you love the cops. Can I actually? Every every shows actually, the linchpin ultimately of the like, the medically is we left the cops just throwing that out there because they are the ones that solve the murder allegedly except for making a murderer. I think making a murder is very anti police, which I think that one. The conspiracy is very much. So the police framing this. Yeah. Every black person. I got the same exact short and I both have to throw chips then. Bam. You set me up. This is trying to chips Andrew how much three let's say three three blacks. Wow. Black champs. You went through to assign. Values to these ships. And now, you're just saying three. Sorry, right. Thirty thousand dollars. I'm sorry. Thirty thousand dollars. Nations are now remembering black chips are ten thousand dollars. The blue chip is two hundred fifty thousand job and the green chip is five hundred thousand just wanna say top of the ship before we started recording. There was a three minute conversation of Lexa. What does this worth? Okay. It's like a million dollars. A lot of thought went into these valley. Yeah. A lot of thought that literally made no science. We're come work Esino everyone. We're doing great open a casino. Hey, let's deal. Casino. It's got a Michael Jordan steakhouse, which is very exciting. Real real isn't a lot. Like last year. It's great for real. Just near Portland unrelated. But Michael Jordan is like one of the pettiest people. I have ever known of like if you go, I know everyone that's like met him. And I forgot somebody was tweeting something about about how petty is like if you had met this man, you know, how petty is. But if you go back and watch his hall of fame speech brings up brings up his high school coach you didn't. High school, and I'm like, you're a million like you're so successful. And he was like, Nope. He's going to drag every person so great when you get inducted you're allowed to bring in a guest of honor and his guests of honor was who his high school coach cut him for. Dude. He brought dude. And this didn't play basketball. No more. He's like a man. Yeah. Way before the internet is not easy to find Michael Jordan was fourteen years old like. Saying. Michael Jordan, still talk to this guy. Or was it something where he just was like, hey, we're the guy was like, hey, Michael, Jordan. Probably thought like oh, man. Maybe I made a difference in his life was like we made a difference. But you don't know how did make a difference. His kids yet is kids about tickets. Tracks. I actually love that. Because what we've seen Leslie done is going to another John ROY of ours. John we kind of called four guys in case of the nothing's. Talking about nothing, which always then devolves into sports and usually ends up talking about Michael feels very point specific about four guys. The case nothing podcast. Is that all of them are four hours long? Yeah. Yeah. Taken. Section of like nineteen ninety. Chicago Bulls games. Years ago. Cast like that. And he was talking to you about it. And he was like man our two is when it really gets going. Down the tweets. All right. It was Alan Iverson on the first thing Michael Jordan, ever said to him. What's up? You little bitch. Washington said if you've ever been around Jay in person or hang out with him. You know, this exactly something he would say, I think there's more to that story where like Michael Jordan is notoriously. Like, you don't see it on TV. But like the best trash talker. In history shore Everson, I think talked to like hearing that on the court was the moment that he lost all of his confidence and became a worse place. Career. This is because I'm realizing now as we're doing it. We're basically this episode is sub tweeting an entire Sean of or many, John Rosa podcast straddle. Straddle trash talking the full-time. You got to do. I do it our herald all the time. I think one person say you're not gonna have a better set to meet at night to sit there, and I washed their set from the wings. And I look at them. Is that what we would call are just four dude sitting around cast, somebody comedy comedy comedy. But with like, you have to chant it. Yeah. I like that. And you know that slight differences. We're doing it because we did an truest thing. Major ill of the world. So like, we're not trash talking. We're like celebrating world owes us via dunking my favorite part about this podcast. Is that I feel like they take a lot of hot takes that are just grossly wrong case, pretty cool. Right. Yeah. Pointed. Oh, yeah. Talking about culture. Now, you guys always eventually have a point. Some point. All right. Well, I really love the next three into one, gene. Okay. And we could do it improv podcast. Or an improv podcast, but with an incredibly complicated premise, solid or an improv podcast for some reason. There's a drum kit in the room. Oh, man, here know what I haven't been invited to that podcast. I ain't gonna say shit. Shit. I have and I love them. But it is such a funny. Take from Andrew like improv podcast. But why are there drugs? There's always a drum in the world. And I love comedy sword. Fun to play with the drum kit. Also, that's true. Last time. I was in here, I actually kicked the drum kit. And I think I broke something. But I don't know while it was my husband's my husband Nate's drum kit. That's right. It took it out. And now at somebody else's. I'm sure it's Dana awakens produce a day. Yeah. This spin on do like a saxophone. And what if it's not even so let's combine these what if it's just an improv podcast with a complicated premise, and that premise is the saxophone edits every seen not even a musical show scenes, but the saxophone decides when we wipe vetted. Why? What about this? What about a saxophone, and it's improv, but it's providing music, and there's no talking you just describe jazz. Thing. I would like legit like no bits be on board for just an improvised, jazz putsch. You know, like guy atop. So it's like, you know, tweet us one word, and we'll do an hour long improvised jazz. Though radio you're talking about. Yes. I like jazz radio guys. Down. It doesn't have to be podcast. We could be a jazz radio station. Do you do? That was Joey Clifton saxophone really interesting stuff all the instruments. Oh, right. Plenty Jess Joey plays like five instruments. All of them are would win toys here. Really interesting. I don't know enough about me. On flute. Strutted LeVine on neckties. She's given up. She's done to Kalmyk sweaters. Now. Oh. Bardot hair and like a big comfy sweater. Off. Just. Gentlemen. Thank you for tuning in to yoed. Jay z. Art station are stationed we used to be about racism, and now is just about you know, now that we are straight white guys. I love it because we can teach people about jazz. Longed to teach people about jazz didn't even hear about last year. Fred Durst ran a jazz. Is he still doing? Okay. Yeah. It was called like Fred's place. But we. And like the real reason that he started this jazz night is that he saw LA La Land and was inspired to start his own jazz name wrong. I heard nothing. I actually I'm not even trying to be a troll. I. His famous for like trash music was like I actually like jazz on a radically wanna go. Okay. That sounds. Field trip when you said Fred's with Zia, I'm like, oh is this a drag Mosey crossovers? For jazz singer drivers podcast that just like jazz and drag involves the Piccolo so. Hosted by pickle the whitest thing about me is that I listened to get sometimes when I work out stuff. Just gets you in the mood. I'm sorry. I hear that favourite biscuit album. I think whatever break stuff is. But also like rolling roll roll yet. Air or ground attack, which version of role in. Is on significant other nineteen ninety nine significant other. I think a formative album for all of us. We were all enjoying just driving. My shifty. Car car. I was just going say I that story sounds a little bit inspiring. But Ryan goslings limp is kit night. I would be for the sickest night of all time support Ryan, Gosling slander, the whitest thing about me is that big Ryan Gosling. Zack Snyder, STAN. Oh that is the guy. Like league. The hair stood up on our arms. That's your favorite director. I also love Ryan Gosling because he likes Latinas. So I'm like, you know. Pulled himself one. I'm like, okay. He's he's got a little something some keep, you know, just watching pines. Yeah. So the motorcycle one. Terrible scant, which gets it to our next. We could just do about a movie with no direction. Maybe it's a bad move. All mad so ironic just rip on it. It's like you'd think you'd want to talk about a good movie, but we talk about bad movie. That we legit. Like we love. People. Every single bug as you've named as an ear. We'll. We did. Right. Marc maron. Yeah. One old John ridge. Just Mark Morton all of us were. Who's your guys? Who's your guys we good? Good good. Yeah. So we can riff on a bad movie. And I feel like Andrew, and I have a built in dynamic where he's kind of a commotion. And I'm kinda zany is that are dynamic. Eulogised don't like the movie, whereas you're like, it's kind of fun fun. Look at all the explosions real story last night. I was trying to rent a movie, and I rent I wanted to rent the MAG that big creepy Chinese shark movie, and I went to rent it. And I was like, oh, my God, you can only buy it. But I had scrolled everything I got it in my head that I wanted to watch it. And I was like fuck it. I'm buying the Meg. And it was like we're going to own you own the. I own two movies. I own Paddington to my nephew was visiting one bag. I didn't even finish it. It was really good. It was pretty fun. I like a big shark movie. And I can I finesse your guys podcast ideas about instead of a bad movie. It's a movie that, you know, people should give more of a chance to kind of like, you know, everyone was too quick to judge this moving. I think your first movie should be sucker sucker punched by zach's night. Movie, bro. People talk tragedy. Convince and turn people in. Yumi and depre-. It's actually funny to me. It was done by the Russo brothers who went onto do Infinity. Really? They did a more than that. You know, most recently. So you know, it it is marvel canon show. So I think it deserves more credit than it gets which one of them disappears in the wind. Dead dog one. That's a different one. Yes. Okay. Into pres Wilson lives on newlyweds couch jerks off in like one of their songs. Oh, why they're off. He doesn't have socks. It's Owen Wilson. Charming? I think mine would be Heartbreakers. Remember that Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer love Hewitt movie where they were mother daughter content that would marry dudes for their money and died and then Jason. Jason. It's so good very long movie because they have to wait for them to die. Do real time. Like documentary seven up it takes fifty five. Boyhood or about a boy. About a point grant move. I feel like I would do I do wedding crashers Smith to trying to have sex with people. That's funny guys motorboat. So funny too funny. Dr Quinn medicine woman. And then he gets reduced to a motorboat joke. Oh, hilarious. And I guess I would do Star Wars. That underrated. Okay. So what rating system with this podcast all movie podcast trying a funny ratings. Yeah. Very funny. Yeah. Meaning like how good or bad the movie? Yeah. Bro. The length of grow like seven seventeen up on this. Oh. Which is okay. Yeah. Seconds is the movies. Yeah. I love it. If it's very bad. It's like not seriously, bro. Bro. Like half Joey has to bounce this party is not stopping obviously because racism is continuing to stop. Yup. We did it to be over. So we can't stop because we have to commemorate it's not being over over a party were thrown to celebrate the racism is over. There's just like racism is over. I gotta go by like Chevy show, many like white person. Thanks, joey. You didn't spend any of your chips. You did a really great job. Okay. Talking about racism, so really good job. Thank you. Oh, man. Unleash. Scary place guys. Yeah. So follow me on Twitter at Joe, thanks again for everybody that reached out to me. After my episode that recorded a little bit ago tag on a very excited comic book shop from Australia. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Junkie. Emailed me. They heard me on the show, and they ordered like a bunch of shoes and my magazine on their shop. Got it. So the American Indian ready to wear Cadillac twenty eighteen it's available at red cap. Press dot com super funny. Partially by mom, come on. Mom, Joe comedy thing. A couple of people like tweeted at me just saying they really like my mom's are working my mom's not on Twitter. But I read the tweet Steuer and it really warmed her. Everybody tweet all of us about how cool our moms are tweets door. Mom's address. Yeah. Superfund right continue the party without me. Edgar gonna stick around. We have some more guests joining us. So we're going to take a brief break. Everybody. Don't go away. Just refill your glass. The team behind rich. I'll start it all started. I'm having so much. Trouble. Y'all got to start this the team behind missing Richard Simmons is back with an update and a whole new story. It's not about Richard Simmons. It's not misleading. It's got an update about him. Oh update of what they're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes because when you listen to missing, Richard Simmons. You're gotta keep up with what these people are doing. Yeah. That's the most important part. The series is called headlong colon surviving. Why to K k all the Armageddon that never happened? This is. Haywire helping hostage for three days. Oh that explains where you went in the early two thousands earliest two thousand first one this is from an evangelical family preparing for the apocalypse to the coders who fixed the millennium bug follow their stories through New Year's Eve nineteen ninety nine and find out what happened at midnight millennium bug. Also, I think is a very good Robbie Williams saw. Plus hosts Dan to ski shares his own Y2._K story, it's called surviving white UK because Dan barely did trauma. My husband Nate's family were white UK peppers. They have a bunch of wax eggs and aqua rain water filters in their basement almost to this day. They just sold their house. Wow. Almost like that sounds like a being prepared for the apocalypse seems like a very important thing that we should all be doing right now. Who knows actually? Yeah. Jokes on us these people because we could all use those waxes. What is the wax? It's an egg. You dip in wax is preserved for fifty years isn't actual egg a real egg. Maybe it's hard boiled. And you know, it's raw and put it in wax to preserve it. Good eggs. Go to as parents house to get them eggs. Listen to the entire series ad free. Now on Stitcher premiums, go to Stitcher premium dot com slash headlong and use promo code yo for free month of Stitcher premia. I mean pistachios on Mike. Eat those potassium. Oh, we're back. We have some new friends. Joey Clift had to go guys for our new friends who are here. We've solved racism recap. Yeah. One thousand episodes. It's all done it solved. And so we're just thank you. Yeah. We had a lot of people applaud for us in the streets walking in here. But parade was you know, a lot. But but it was under stated in classy needed. We needed to do it your people a good feeling I feel so now we have these lovely guests on who as we were talking about earlier. Oftentimes when these people are on podcast, you probably feel like you have to talk about your other hood, quite a lot. Whereas like white people don't have to. And so we're trying to now give space where all of us. We don't have to do that. And we can just talk about the the white podcast talk about. And so we're going to go through some items. But before we do that some items for what our new show is going to be about before we do that. We have to ensure our new people. We sure do take it away. Let's see very very funny. Standup writer. We'll stand up yet. Tallest man in the room at the moment. Yes. Just just very, very handsome. Boy saw Giorgio is here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Everybody's bopping around. Solomon. You were guest before I was opposed. But I'm so excited to meet you in the in the person that you that you're here. I'm happy to finally meet you as well. We're all happy are you taller than zig zig producers ache? Now, he's not at we banished him from a mice. Five six four and three quarters. So. Three quarters. Next, by the way, we were like, oh, we don't have to talk to. We don't have to make people talk about the things that are annoying unique about them. That I know I'm always complaining about how people ask me questions about my height. So well sorry to do that team fine with it. I can answer these questions, right? Right. That's all you'll have to answer for. But we also is the first time we met. So it's only fair. That's yes. The the first question to get out of the way this question. Afghani person. Her you would've that like with those still meet to be honest. I feel like I started this this thing. Okay. Here we go. Do you want to do an intro intro? Speaking of stupid questions, she hosts a podcast where she allows people to ask you questions, but it's not stupid. And she herself ask questions, and she takes away the stigma of talking about money. It's called bad with money pod. She does a lot of other things. Her name is Gabby done. What's up? Gabby. This is a new jam. Good. And in Gabby is lab, we have to also introduce her lovely fat little dog beans feeds visit beans. He's hala. Can you believe that anyone confused? He's fifteen pounds. So large. He's a big boy, he's a fat little beans. Yeah. We got him that way. People on the internet are mad at me about it. You've done this to him like commenters. We'll be like your dog is overweight. You're abusing your dog. And I'm like, look he came this way. There's nothing wrong with thick dog. Okay. It's weird. His comments are like like similar to my friends who are like by positive influence. Thing. Like, no, we've him alone. He can hear you. Gabby. How are you? I'm good. I'm so happy to see you friends. We're friends in life, and you've been away I've been gone. And now do you like that the only time we see each other? It's like a work thing. I mean now, I didn't know you were back. So well, it just happened. I've been back like a week. Oh, you look great. Thank you so much are you pleased with me racism. What are you going to do a show about? Well, we are. Well, we are. But first we have to introduce our final guest. Final new gosh. Hey, Brody really besides how just like everyone's favorite little boy, just like super chill. Homeboy takes on the internet just constantly, man. Just groove in just move in and Spiring perspiring. So you we were eating and unconscionable amount of half price. Yeah. That's right. Awesome. We weren't judging each other. We were just leaving our best life by any measure too, much, pork. Little too much of that stuff. Never. The focus that place called Atlantic seafood. Oh in the San Gabriel valley, everyone come come valley is a gem half price on weekdays. Shouldn't be that. She probably Andrew Nye fucked up some Sichuan food in Atlanta two days in a row because you went one day to the same place one day. And then the next day. I was with like a slightly different group of people. And they were like we want that shit. You Andrew we're talking. Andrew you wanna go again. And I was like a huh. And this is why I love Atlanta. They were surprised I spoke Chinese. Nice. Yeah. Because I think there there's a lot of people in that town who are just like. Yeah. I was born in Georgia. I don't. This ship. So two items of business. First of all, Andrew, you got your tangent about speaking Chinese out of the way because we have a rule that we've instead and Edgar and Danny no this rule they've been abiding by they've already been penalized where we can't talk about racism anymore because it's over we solved it so out of respect for the hard work engine. I put in podcasting every week. Hours. Just you know, labor were. I feel like saying hours a week is fifty five minutes give or take. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if and if you do talk about it, you're going to be charged an arbitrary amount that Andrew will probably decide. Yeah. Four if I remember correctly. The black chips are worth ten thousand dollars the blue chips without we're talking about recently. You are getting fined for that. And also, you couldn't know this joke was already made. So. Wait here in late. Give you what are these? Make change give me the green one back boy. And you're gonna toss one of the one of the blue ones in the fifty thousand dollar fine racism was over and make more money. Guys is rundown. Eliza they. That was good. I wouldn't that wouldn't you can get a refund here. Put the blue chip in and take out a five black chips. This is now the podcast where we just discuss making change making change that sounds. Of the monetary sense. Not you think it's a social Justice podcasts. Literally just like I could give you four quarters. Want to be perfectly honest racism is over a black man is allowed to get his own change. All right. So what we have to do now because and I have to do this job. So we, of course. Podcasts can never stop. It can never stop. We've been pitching on different types of shows that we could have different genres of podcasts that white people usually get to do. So thinking that we're all straight SIS white guys, what kind of cool podcast, we've already run down are two buddies goofing about murder Shokhin about murder, improv podcasts of all types. Well, specifically, improv podcast. But for some reason, there's a drum kit in the corner also had talking about a bad movie or talking about a movie. Taught to talk about a good movie. But no common for our friends over here. Four guys in a case of nothing. So that's another very popular. The the next Sean that all throughout this group to pitch on is sitting around with impenetrable inside jokes. Show. It's just been going for so long that every statement is an inside joke. So new listeners can have no. Yeah. So what kind of stuff could we talk about? Gray sow about Marty my roommate, and we're just talking about. Yeah. What's the latest with Marty? Daddy, still doing that thing back with his girlfriend, Rebecca. She's back for him bad for him ever since she was in that terrible accident. Room. It made her mean. Made her bitch. Terrible. We don't call women that. But that's okay. I culture. Do I get paid? I mean, how charge all of the rest of your chip. You didn't give me a full allotment. I don't I don't give any of us a full lot meant. Henry you're bad at this being a banker thing. Yes. Correct. It was a miracle. These chips actually got here because we came up with this bit about seven PM yesterday. And I remembered so I feel proud of myself just forget it coulda union texted. You the second that you came in. That's right. Carl tart has just joined us. Are we doing this didn't didn't send in music? So we're gonna pick music for him. Ladies and gentlemen, fan favorite. One of the most hilarious boys on the planet. That's right. It's motherfucking Carl tart Coltart. Ladies and gentlemen. Here. It's riana lazy. That's right. You have the headphones on. Continue watching this video on mute while you guys too so Carl how are you? Now, we got to start from the beginning with Carl. All right, come on. So we're giving you some poker chips because you can't mention race anymore because Andrew, and I solved it, you're welcome. And the object of this moment, what is to try and figure out what our new podcast is going to be. So we're trying to do shit the white people get to doing why people podcast fishing on the same idea. Yeah. So what's it? Good inside joke for our for far inside jokes only podcast. I think like the choice of song like the irony of the choice of song for each segment. The story from college that it relates to. Yeah. This reminds me of that time that we were all at our college. We all went to together MCI. This puck is probably called you had to be there. And then some of it isn't isn't even your own inside joke. It's just from Rick and Morty. Okay. I'm gonna add that as an asterisk, which is the real podcast is just repeating inside jokes. Rick and more. That's good. Thank you. And that actually takes us seamlessly into another John ri-. Let's pitch on this one this one this genres just called tell everyone in detail about every single episode of TV show. When I came in. I was like when you said like pitching podcasts at white people. Do I my first thought was like Simpson's recaps? There's there's way way more out there that we can just go for like small wonders show that was available natives. One specific episode where Vicki the robot girl had to get a purely chip because she was growing up. Okay, today, really do that as one of my favorite episodes of television. Anyway, let's go further into this show. Small wondering, and it'll just be. Or the episode of Mr. Belvedere when that kid got HIV from a blood transfusion. I can go on forever. God. Meets world ward. Corey took off his engagement ring and pretended not to be married to. That was because he was talking to another woman. Wishing to ping. There's also the episode of punky Brewster when her neighborhood kid drank some bleach, and they had to figure out how to cure. Poison. It is an episode of punky Brewster her best friend's younger brother drinks bleach, and they had to call the poison control. And they figured out. They have to milk. I've talked about this before, but the very special episode of dinosaurs where Robbie and standards. A happy plant which was like marijuana, right? And then afterwards, the dinosaurs indict ashore character sat down the TV stars of other shows would sit down and be like this episode was about the drug the dinosaur dinosaur character, they sat down, and they're like, we wanna talk to you about drugs, you're gonna say they sat down, and then they smoked up together. Really little I couldn't tell the difference between the dad from dinosaurs. And John Goodman. They were the same shirt was the same. Or at least like Ned. But I thought he he did the voice. This is. This is. Don't even know that he didn't. A whole podcast on are not John Goodman. Did the voice for? Dad, refused to Google this. Tell us like aren't they all different dinosaurs? Like, what does that have? The huxtable. Different black family. To be fair huxtables actually got darker skinned over time. Eighty scale. Forty forty thousand dollars. I started at. I don't know if maybe that was for Carl. Also, I want to be honest. I feel like this casinos very raw mobile at this point. Is it is? Yeah. Charge me an amount. So I know how much putting in ten thousand dollars. But I think if you wanna go meta with this podcast, everyone go back show with it. You can do a review TV episodes that are only the clip show of. That's the best of the best. Yeah. The clip Kloppers. Right. She's the only one they did the whole sees that the whole series is a last one. Can we do a podcast about how Kelsey grammer executive produce girlfriends? Yes. Yeah. Wildest conservative now. Went down a rabbit hole of looking at his Wikipedia, and he has lived a life. Check it. I'm like somebody's to do a documentary on how I mean, I I don't know like his girlfriend shot at him once and then he knocked up another another girlfriend on Frazier. So that podcast is called the Graham. I guess. We did it for the ground. Grammar please come on our show love you personally. Hey, maybe. Yeah. Just do it. Just don't sing so much that we get charged by NBC. Of course, played every other song that we. Seconds to weekend. Thirty seconds, thirty seconds. The close can sing the whole theme song. Salad and scrambled. He's supposed to eat them. Together. I do some. It's salads and scrambled eggs goes together. His. Edgy for brick. Brench? Wait what about eating? Scramble. That's a that's the from back to front tossed salad scrabble. Versus. Brunch. Eating podcasts. Every of every other episode. It's like you don't know what you're going to get like today s heating today eating again. But then next week French. It's a real tossup. Okay. Oh, good. Lord. Let me see we could tell people what to pick for fantasy football this week. I'm just gonna give my microwave. Yeah. I can go to my whole team right now. You know, I thought it was fantasy football was just, you know, thinking of your favorite players having sex, but it's much. I have all hot tea. That's fine. Draft is just all do to. I think look good. Yeah. We're sort of middle of the road right now. Five and four and that leaks. Not losing. We're saying that a few ugly. Definitely make your team little better. Yeah. Yeah. They had to struggle more. Who's who's the finest football player right now? Cabbie? Newton. Yeah. It'll be Jay though. Yeah. He's like, you know, he's he's like the basic bitch answers of Tom Brady. We're not that one. Haven't we have a unique angle on? He we looking I don't he does look like he doesn't blink enough. He looks like he's never. I mean, like you're like is just dry looking at them. Tight. Well, we actually did a real podcast would be version of hours before sex. This body yell. He likes he just puts hand sanitizer. Yeah. J who is that? Oh, I've seen him before. With one hand twenty three. What does he do with other hand, you know? I like this. This might be by. I guess the very special episodes podcast is probably the current front writer for an actual fantasy football podcast. And it's just turned into talking about hot football. Who are your show? That's the fantasy football. Just gonna listen this episode and steal all of our ideas. You guys. Too much work. I will. Everyone pro wrestling for sure what do we do? We have any. What are what are pro wrestling podcasts? Be called snoring. Right. Podcast will be all about that. The songs. That's the only I know about like go out to the musical artists. Like, hey, you wrote the HOGAN. Inspiration wrote Willits too big show. No. Very poor. Is coming up right now when you wrote cool, I think I'm sexy for the Harper kid who's keep talking. Shawn Michaels his. What was your inspiration for breaking the glass for stone coats? Oh, go ahead. Let me come out to Jimi Hendrix phone. Number or not. When I was a kid. My favorite wrestler was Goldberg was. Yeah. I don't even think I understood my school was I went to Jewish day school, and everyone was like Goldberg we love. His move was so simple and stupid. But do you guys know now that he hosts a show about sword making and like? Forged in fire. Two kinds of that show. I watched a bunch of them when I was in Atlanta 'cause I had regular TV, and I was born and like there's a real there's like people make these real swords, and then they like hack a pig in half. And there's a sort expert that'll be like the you'll go to hack the dead S pig in half. And if it doesn't cut the pig in half, he'll be like your sword will not kill. Go your sword will kill Tony. I didn't realize you were getting so method with this embracing being a white, man. Got real used to. I think he was we'll be Goldberg's husband. Doc. That makes total sense. Does she have that? Last name the black woman. Mary Goldberg spear. I wanna plug my brother-in-law's, very real podcast. It's of spandex. It's a pro wrestling podcast. But it's about matches that happened. I think in the nineties just talks about shows. Oh matches it happened way back then speaking under listen to. So you guys should listen to it. We were we were letting people plug up top we kind of did. Anyway, anything the new folks wanted to play. Who cares if your shit race related? We're giving you a pass to talk about it during your plug. Andrew we got to give them a pass because we're baiting them the fake money. All right, Carl what do you want? I can blood I guess basketball podcast, which is the patriot. So you got to pay for it. Call the flagrant ones. But it's very funny. Somebody sent us a screen shot from the read it, and these these guys talking about not paying for the podcast being like, hey, does anybody have an RSS feed like we can train them off because I don't I don't feel bad for taking this from these three wealthy television. Right. It's what. First of all just don't listen to the show. I would they write that in a public place. I don't know the feet that bats they wanna listen to it so bad, but refuses like, I don't I'm food stamps. I don't I can't pay sixty dollars a year, but his pack, and and I'm like, okay, then just miss out. They don't like me like I'm gonna steal this. And I'm gonna justify stealing is because three wealthy TV's. This is funny to me. But I feel you should Venlo that guy like forty five. A podcast for. Yeah. This is really wealthy TV. Right. Is I live with the baby that isn't mine. TV? No, he's not pulling her weight. Once you get to that age where she's in target ads. She'll be racial. Y'all know that baby. All right Solomon. Yes. Oh, you got. I'm pretty famous. I worry about me. Very true. Everyone follows on Twitter because if you don't you need to it's a real joy. That's good. That's the thing. I yeah. Also plug my Twitter. I am not famous. Definitely follow me at AO, bro. Some shorts coming out that I will post about and I just love talking shit. Follow. Okay. Then Gabby has books. Yeah. I've pike is called bad with money. It's about how I don't want to pay for the patriot for Carl's podcast. With money. That's our money show with money. And then it's just a fuck you to mice. Yeah. And then I have a book also called bad with mine that comes out in January that you can preorder right now. Yeah. And then that's that's it in the podcasting space four now. Stay tuned. Okay. I'm still I wanted to also to. Okay, wait. Oh, we kind of covered this earlier which was like the Fords and a case of the nothing's podcast pulled because I was like he's Brown. People always have to talk about there being Brown hood. What do people talk about who are not marginalized people? So I literally googled like great. Cocktail party conversation starters. Oh, we're doing this. Right. Yes. There's some wild ASO. Anyone can answer all of you are compelled to answer. Okay. Please. Just imagine like some business, dude. Who's like I wanna get better at talking party walking up to people and asking this cold. I mean, tiny Google, basically how to talk to people at parties win, friends and influence info. Basically, the Google addition have you ever saved an animal's life. About a person's life. My God, just light. Okay. You just met someone at your fucking work thing have a white wine. If they have that's what they're like. Thank you. I've been waiting for an opening. Actually, they wanna talk about it. Right. Yeah. You wouldn't have to ask me because I would tell you right off the bat. I wouldn't ever stop talking about it. I'm so glad you asked. And then they're gathering. I also like how the second question was how about a person's life like, oh, no. We'll let me skill. It back down a little bit. God, I've never saved anyone's life. But I did pick up a guy who had been he was on a motorcycle in here in Los Angeles. And he got hit by a car, and he wasn't super badly her. He was just like his ankle was fucked up. But he refused. I was like, oh when one and he was like, nah, bro. I don't have insurance. I was like, okay. What do you want me to do? And he's like just driving a house. I live in Los feeless Trobe into his house, and then he wouldn't go to the hospital. But then he like wanted me to like look at his modeling portfolio. And I was like dude you are hurt right now. And then I think he was in shock because by the time we got him to his house. He's looking at his ankle. And he's like I think I have to go to the hospital right now. He was straight up like trying to plug his soundcloud respect. Charring start a conversation while you're here. Go on. I was a paramedic. No. We was head at a club. And I don't know. I think I was drunk. Maybe gave me the courage to get in the way of this fight that was about to ensue. But this was about to get into a fight with these who are obvious killers. It's not worth it. Just leave just leave just go. And he's trying to get my face. I who's you man. What the fuck was you? Both don't do that. Like, I'm trying to help you these killers. And he looked over look back at me. And was like are you right? You right. My hand. And like I have since apologized. That's okay. One of the obvious killer idea that you were like, okay. If this guy has to fight someone at least, I know I won't murder him. So. Aw. So that's good. Like, this is going to be bad. I don't know why even think it was Hennessy. I just saw about to happen. You gotta go and see my this is a lesser one. Well, a friend of mine, and I were walking back from lunch when we work for a company that show up named and there was a pigeon and its head was stuck in a in a link fence in a chain link fence, and it was like flopping like Ted was stuck. And we were like, oh, no, no. No, no. Like if you pull your you're gonna pull your own head off. So we like gently we were there. Trying to move it out of it like we couldn't get it out of the and then people walking by so then like this Austrailia guy who like actually like this sounds like an Australian stereotype, but he did work with wildlife. Came up, and he was like let me help. And then this old woman was like, I know how to help. And then it became like six people trying to get this pigeon. I've offense for like an hour. And then we did save its life. While they slap the other person. Came together as like an AT to be like, we all have skills, so tralian hypnotise Australian magician hypnotize pigeon for you. That's so great that the old woman from home alone two. Ladies have a good pigeon story last time. I was in New York. The only good interaction I've had with cops for is my friend, and I were real drunk walking. Police station, and they're a pigeon had gotten into the lobby of the police station. And it was so clearly like if this was an episode Brooklyn nine nine he'd be like, this is ridiculous. They were all skating around all freaking out. Like, what do we do here? It was so funny and then an hour later when we came back even more drunk the pitch, and it was still there was on. I'm trying to get my son out. It was really this was just in the ninth street police station. That was the only time cops were seemed fun. Do New York. I was gonna say they like, they're so trigger-happy, otherwise didn't wanna shoot the pigeon. I sure we thought maybe someone was gonna shoot the pigeons. You don't think of interest is? So the fact that they didn't shoot the pigeon that was the positive. Sorry it. Fifty thousand dollars from Gabby. I understand the subject. This is fun. I recently had to kick a bunch of cops out of a pizza party because we had a set up for a comedy show. And one of my friends is wearing a black lives matter. Sure at the time. How much money do you want for that? How did that even happen? Well, we have a show every Friday at a pizza place dishonest pizza bakery. And before we had a show. They're like twenty cops in our room. Oh, just like in our space. Right. You like you need to get the fuck on your comedy shows happening. I was a little bit like get the fuck you invite them to stay absolutely not. All right. That was worth it. But you do have to pay two hundred and fifty thousand dollars account. Yeah. Comedy is him talking about cops within the def jam. We next to. Oh, what happens? Okay. Wait. I want to get back to our. Episode or idea pitches back. I don't know. I'm just bouncing over here. Okay. This John rose called get a stranger to tell you a fucked up story. I was going to just combine that with Marc Maron. Marc Maron is John as well. We're gonna Marc Maron ourselves to get a stranger tell you fucked up story. But then make it about you. Guys. Yeah. Yeah. Guys who are guys guys who can our guys be. I guess. That means who reported the song Laffy taffy. Guys. Yeah. Like, yeah. You have to you have to get someone on as an excuse to confront them about why they don't like you. Right. That is what we are doing today. So especially if they don't know you like strangers like, why don't you like me? Taffy song was not as funny as I thought. Go right in the middle of hop in. Pretty good. Just leave it playing. I think I would confront somebody who didn't hire me. So like a job I like tested for I have on like probably that president of that. Now work. Why didn't I get it? This way podcast. You had a job. Yeah. Never mind. That's fine. So you you're having the president of the network onto them. Yeah. Thank you so much for hiring and paying me the most. Good name for a podcast. Thank you. So much. The most most. How about a white podcast where we just get on like food delivered to us. And then we don't. Here's the no tip. What do you guys want? Mendoza ministy news. God that hurt me in my heart. That's his hover just like the eating things podcast. Eating foods. But like ours is just like maybe foods, we just happen to have in the house already. So we're just like I'm gonna review these old ask gluten free spaghetti noodles. Didn't have any sauce for or you just the same Taco Bell every day. Oh, yeah. Get like an article written about you guys eating the same Taco Bell every day for a year and podcasting. He just got a book deal. Let's going on for so brave would be a good name for this entire podcast. Yeah. We are starting to network. Great brave. We're also brave. What are we what are we advertising on on our gas? Mendocino farms. Oh, fresh. Just like shawls. They just like. Fifty two. A website where you could buy cast iron Skillet preseason for hundreds of dollars. To the head. This is brought to you by food fifty two. Do you like making burgers one the taste better? Use this cast is guilty. You get on do use promo code. Hey. That's in the in the form of that band. That goes, hey, what does that being called outcast? Higher weekend empire Wiki. They right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. She'll good about that sponsored by vampire weekend. What's our other one to have another ad, do you only want one favorite band? You miss Paul Simon. You wish you were four dudes. Before Christmas year round. Welcome to hot topic. Oh my God. But I would do that. I know we started out we started poking fun by we got a lot of real good ideas. That's the beauty of us. Andrew is that we start out. We take big swings. But then really really big swings wraps all the way around ourselves in the head with the bat and come out thinking, that's not that bad idea. I show. Go ahead. It's I can't believe he didn't have it on their arbitrary game show. Okay. Okay. We're playing an arbitrary game. Chevron. In the points, don't matter, and it's just so you can have your other white friends onto funny. We actually called it trivia quiz show about some shit. Nobody cares about. Yeah. That's at midnight. All right p. Producers AIG is highlighting one and the Google doc that he wants us to pitch and I put this in. And this is a straight up troll to our friends at this network. But I just called Arbor's of this John RIA M I talking about an M I A album. Just. Talk about an entire album of music, but it's got a fun pithy tight. Did. They actually do. They do one song at a time or like ten seconds of a song and go through every song like each and every song figure out if it's my my no, there's. No, there's this like they do want about to our friend, Scott, Adam Scott, they do want about you to it's called you talking to me. And then they do one about REM. Are you talking REM Reimi and they're going through? I think it's just a specific album, and they go through they can have this actual podcast, which they will actually probably do take this one. Am I talking about an album and just talk about every talking about it album, mama. Maybe talking about an MA album, mama. So you have your mom on. Yeah. Through. What songs are your? Yeah. She hates it. She's like why are there gunshots? This is rude. My mom actually, did literally say exactly that for that song that it was. Yeah. Yeah. My mom doesn't like any music that isn't. Nothing. My mother straight hates music. She she enjoyed when I practiced the violin when I was a kid. Oh, no, she she likes listening to ask. Just being Chinese admitting. Political matters. What else do y'all moms listened to? Yeah. My mom listens to opera because she is a an amateur operas Israel. I never know. True. My mom is a fourth my brother, and I had to be an amateur operas when we were young. What way what was that like awful because I wasn't good at it. My brother was pretty good at it. You have to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My brother was really good at it. But didn't wanna do it. So he would like blackmail my mom into paying him to do it. So like one time she brought him a PlayStation could be the starring a mall in the night visitor. Visitors is a great show. Edgar my mom actually does listen to Nickelback. She does she discovered them really late great really late the nickel back when she was like it's just that song. It's like what if you could live in someone else's shoes? Rockstar. What's your mom? Listen to she just listens to nothing. But he THEO Pierre music. He is not check that other cultures. She is president her taste, and she's not going to change your mind. Sorry. You can't mention being prejudice. I'm so sorry. My money. Yeah. Just give all your black chips. So many really only what ten thousand. So we should have Mike up the ball. I think it's getting picked up. It's pretty loud. I'm sure the listener loves that just clanging. Carl would your mom. Listen to mom listens to music of her day. So my mom forty seven. So she grew up in the. By the way. Such a young mom. Musical. Rb music from the seventies eighties nineties today. She's like coz one point five. K jail along. Talking to a guy that's older than your mom. Off on brand for me. Kevi we're we're just talking about people's mom's favorite, Nick. My mom likes Motown a lot because I think that's what she listened to. And she was younger thirty two. I got old parents got my my brothers forty five. One of my brothers is he single Danny too. Young. He's not and it, no. You can do better. Yeah. And and then she likes, you know, she loves she loves a Dell she loves Elton John might her. And my dad are actually in New Orleans right now at a Willie Nelson concert. Okay. So very fun there in versity. In versus. People. We'll suffice. We sing happy birthday happy birthday. We don't have the rights to that. Now my dad posted a me on Instagram. That was like I love my wife. She is a gift from God, blah, blah. And it was just like white text on black. So why don't you get that? Yeah. What's that about? Response who like Gould like wife me something posted to prove. I love my wife. Really? Yeah. It's a lot. Okay. Very dope. This is a really good episode of m I talk about an MA album, mama. This is very good. So far. Nobody's mom has liked M I A, actively disliked at my my mom. My my mom listens. Gangs says she keeps it locked on one hundred one of six point seven. Oh, maybe. Good one out of. Eight count fast. Eight eight eight twelve dad is a terrorist. If you guys know that God. Activist. America. This is dangerous. Your. Out of the first one to be ojected from the island. Plan some exit music play Andrew. Yeah. I do totally at it's not only do I know it's super ready, and like just not going to be a problem that that's not going to be a thing where you have to wait through don't understand why he's getting he's saying. Information that sounds racist. Exactly. What? Sure. Bye. Opera music sound the weird. Of course, it really have to go, and we kicked him out. But we will see him really very soon. I have to go shopping. Oh are all. Losing set. So. Brag Brody read Danny Fernandes saying thanks for being here y'all we'll chat to your stacks of. And we'll just we'll we don't know. Still have three quarters of yours. I think if I did the math mathematics sue the whitest thing, you can money and invest it. All right. You're welcome for solving racism. I hope rest day. So blasted easy. Ross. All right on your back. Hey, guys. I just wanted to check in. We got a little ad space in this extra extra long episodes. And we just wanted to say. Please please grab some merch ios racist. Merch pod. Swag dot com slash yo. I dunno grab grab a ticket. If you're in the Chicago or greater Chicago area to hear hear us, and you might hear some of the people hurt on this podcast. You know, the holidays are coming up. So that merch you can buy a gift the can I speak to a manager. T-shirt makes a great gift for the low the woke in your life for the people in your life. And we also wanted to ask you to rate and review us on itunes that helps us get more listens. And because there's a bunch of lake dumb racist. That also liked to review they like to give one star and then say some like racist stupid shit. So you can go on there and counteract that you're doing a good deed for for us. So go on there and writer review about why you like the show, we appreciate that. Please. Please to it. Don't sound so desperate edging read. Good. Do it. Grab it. Have you seen the video of the reds? Yes. All sharing the Mike. Yeah. L? It's unbelievable. Got one ear off. Yeah. Goes into like legends. Doria Halley has been singing on like everything since like nineteen eighty I feel like we could just have a podcast. That's Karl singing. That was. Great Carl that was buttery love it. We are. We have a couple more people. Yeah. We're back. That was seamless. Andrew go ahead and say it. What am I supposed to say? Don't you always say that was a good cold open? I mean, we've been rolling like this is the middle of the episode. So here for it. It's not an open that was a good cold open. That's how I say it. No. I remember my brain is fine. So we had some folks leave we had some we had a transfusion of fresh blood. Come in. We do. Oh, you mean, the people I meant the blood that I put into my body. Okay. No, it's cool. We can be weird where white podcast now. The show is just talk about weird. Let's be weird. Who cares random? Podcast so random. Oh, I thought I heard something that was good one. It wasn't close enough to. Darn scared. I got scared. Where are we also who who who let's just start from right in front of me Kirby. Hell teast. Hold on. We know her from killing eve, we know her from Barry, we know her from how many of your credits can I run down what the good place. Yes. I'm not caught up a good place. Thanks. We know her from love on Netflix. I couldn't think of Kirby welcome. Hi, how are you? Good. Thank you. How you oh. We're great. We saw racism day. Oh. Yeah. It was super easy crippled. You feel a shift in the cosmos? Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy when I woke up this morning. I thought today is going to be a good day. I know I'm going to be fine and safe in my cau- yet. I know that when I go to a shop. No one is going to follow me around even though you know, I have a right to be that I feel. Wow, thanks podcast and people say podcasts. Mccurry say podcasts are bargain pointless yelling into the void. But of course, not all you have to do is yell for thousand episodes and shit shit. The main problem, you're welcome everyone. Thank you ovum races of. Anytime anytime, I mean, every one thousand episodes. Yeah. Well, let's keep going, and then we'll figure out maybe what we're going to solve. We've been doing every other person on the Kirby. Yes. Is that how we did it? I guess we shared it. Yes, you're correct. It doesn't matter. Man. I'm so tired. We're going to use. I I don't know if our next guest realized that I have we just said anyone who doesn't send in a song is getting the same Rana song. So. Unsold. And emotion. Naomi a Paraguayan. Yes, I talked before you said my name your back. I'm back bitch. Naomi host of couples therapy pod host of couples therapy that show that Andrew, and I did we had a lot of fun. We did you know. So. So I think we solved your relationship. We sure did. We know we had a problem, but we figured it out on stage. And then you solved it about crab night. That was a lot. I got Chinese people actually coming after me about how I'd let the secret out of crab night. No one of them. At a previous time just through two hundred and fifty grand into the Chinese people. Another fifty thousand and I think just for talking about crab night because that is such a uniquely Chinese have changed. I owe the pot here. The Padres may to grab name. Cram night is when me and a bunch of Chinese people, we're on this text thread, and whenever one of us sees that crab is on sale at the Asian market. They have to buy crab for everyone. Somebody's hell. Yeah. All right. I'm dan. I said the most Chinese thing I've ever heard. It's also the blackish shit. I was like, oh you can't join it's only for Chinese people. Exactly like that throw in two hundred fifty thousand. All right. Let's ensure third new our final new guests. We say it our last final gas newest guess, you know, her great show, keep it. Please. Welcome care Brown. I started to earlier. That's okay. Yeah. Dan, Dan, you keep going. That's my jam. Yeah. Welcome to the things podcast. Six has been by far the most of. Asterisk by Google Carl. You're now our co host the show is all about, you know, I feel like car would be a guest on Carl's me. I just got. Second. I want it. Now. Yes. The problem. I feel too comfortable with you. Because I listen to your show you like, I know you when I don't yet, which I'm sure a lot of people do Andrew an actual friend of Andrews. Actually to come. What? We know each other know, each I'm gonna I'm gonna sacrifice the money because it's it's going to be worth to tell this story of the white people who listen to keep it who come someone came to the show once and said CARA, I have a black ni. Two hundred fifty felt worth it. Oh, that's I tell that story at that story. But I now I don't care for the world is fucking -verting. Yeah. Not anymore because we fix. Literally, literally kind of bullshit that you fixed racism as the world is only shit like we didn't even get a chance to enjoy it. But that's why we have cupcakes. So enjoy it in here for a minute. Got it. Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, look better like over right? Since I don't think significantly worse late. Probably never would be fine. He should've should've fixed it around slavery. Matching. Five hundred thousand for mentioning slavery. That's the most you could mention. Well, now, you know, okay, fine. I should have done it earlier. Sorry, everyone. But at least we're here. Okay. So Andrew, I need a new show. Right. Stupid premise. Stupid premise the name of a white Pontiac. Actually, we're all we're all white people in other all white dudes. We just need new show. So we've already hit some things we've already hit the get a stranger to tell you fucked up story or slash a Mark Marin, the Mark Merritt tell everyone about every episode of a TV show. Just talk about a bad movie. Good movie. You know, so now, okay. Here's when we haven't talked about a bunch of people play a complicated role playing game. Oh, yeah. Right. That can go that can go with the inside jokes one. Yes. Because if you haven't listened to all five hundred thousand episodes, you have no idea where the characters at what the sore does what the forest never know what the forest does whose relationship to what L is good or bad. I never know who's related to an right? What? Okay. So in those shows do they just play one game for ever. Yes. I don't know what this is. We're really just shave your adventure zone. Real. Sorry. They they play like dungeons and dragons podcast. Listen to that. Shouting good friends. Yeah. Of the pod, honestly, shading every podcast ever to exist. Right. Because that's what we get to do. Now. We're white guys. We hate everyone else and face. No consequences. People always say like it's equal opportunity comedy people are super racist. They're always like, well, he's like that to everyone. So that's what we're doing now. But we're racist podcast. And I will throw in a chip for. Totti's fired from the show. You didn't give me enough chips. Like, everyone whatever I'm not. I'm not great at being the Bank, everyone, you know, people color. We'll get better with money as we go. But yeah. So we just need to pick a game. So what kind of game could Andrew and I pick that we could all role play on like or any game. It doesn't have to be playing candy land. Yeah. Spades. Put some money in Carl. Shitting spain. I don't know. I don't I don't play a lot of board games in my life. My husband used to be really into like Carcassonne and like settlers of stain. Of course. I don't know. What that they're these tabletop games right there like risk. Yeah. Catan is like you build your own country, and then you're like competing with the other countries for resources, there are hard corner listening to this just tearing their hair, they really they get mad. I do this all the time. They. This is on brand for you. What are you do battleship? And then you can you can coast Qasr Qasr play. Back. You can cause way his Rana really into in the hit film the hit. Oh, okay. Michael. I don't know. I can do a twofer. Which is then you can do one of those bad movie shows where you watch battleship every day for a year and talk about it Burg, creative book creator of ballers now, I think we would on something with the cause play. No. Yeah. You know, the ultimate white sport. That's right. We have to get dressed up non visual media. Describe each other's. Yes. Yes. And then and then you honestly, this is really on the fly. You we're all in calls play. We described to the people calls play. And then maybe we I don't know calls play battle, the has to be a battle Titian competition sakes. Yeah. Okay. So it's all as described on microphone complete. Perfect. And how people tweet people tweet winners. They're going to come in there. It's going to be a two screen experience. That's how you're going to keep in a listener. They're going to listen, then they're going to get on the internet mail. Head of marketing it's about to screen experience. It's about engagement. It's about rollover. I don't know of that, you know, just mentioned rollover at anytime. We're fine. Okay. So we're going to battle. I like this idea. This is becoming a good idea, though, thing I like about the old ios is racist is that it was those of fucked up topic. It was like the easiest show with almost no prep time. But instead what if we had to dress up as. No photos. Take their word for the costs that people have to do extensive research week all to before they don't have a real life. And then they come on your show, you know. Wasting the guest time is a good podcast. I make the guest your something. Come and watch the show with you a week before at their house. Hiring them onto your calls. And now the separate day. Asked to do a podcast about Christmas movies. And they made me watch a homework Christmas movie. Which one is the snow globe Christmas guy now. Our arched it. Really? But they all any hallmark cruise movie. Just like I wanna husband for Christmas. No matter what it's like a woman who single and either angry or lonely, usually both and somehow through the magic of Christmas may be an orphan child. She finds love one. Now what it was about sort of? I don't wanna talk about it. Because I haven't been on the pockets yet reserved reserve the right? They get your take. Did you prep for this? Well, I was supposed to do it two weeks ago. So I like watched it. Listen to my way to work this Brian was driving movie has been taking space in your brain. Now for two weeks on a podcast about the right amount of time. Forget, but what if you had to make a costume now? Right. Donald phase on costed him. Donald phase, Christina. Unlike Christina Milian from Ditlow does know globe Christmas. I get it. No snow globe. Chris. Doesn't it feel like she almost could've been Cassie? She feels like g judgments, and she could have had a very different life. That did not involve Mark move somebody screwed up our life. Yeah. Been Cassie you could tell you could tell when we're stories like Christina Milian, you go somebody did something wrong. She's she seems fine. So much money on those. I'm just saying she could have she could be like the fifth woman that PD thinks on mother's day and just get to show up and like her kassy's life seems better Chelsea. Yeah. Yes. He is had hit him in league hand not seeing. Paper bag. Hey, can I have my actual hot take on hallmark movies, which is to watch the Meghan Markle one for a podcast, and that and crazy rotations in the same week? And I think I may be like. Andrew get like. The Princess fairy tales that Meghan Markle, hog hallmark movies. The first two hours of it is better than crazy. Gary andrew. Three. Retain three and a half, the hallmark Meghan Markle. This is with ads so just in Toronto. And I heard a lot about Meghan Markle up there because that's where she was filming the hairy. Yeah. Toronto and my cabdriver every every driver would go they filmed suits their suit. Every cab driver said that to me, can I say the first three and a half seasons of suits were very entertaining. This the podcast where we talk about. I do actually we have it Sheena Torres looks on fucking believable. Her wardrobe is maybe better than a Livia pope's her ways defies, gravity. It's crazy. What we sideways, and it's just her yelling at six. It's just, you know, Torres telling men that she's better than that Wallis. And then Meghan Markle's. Also, great. They really have the high yellow thing women. The most stunning yellow women. When I found out she was going to be like, a Princess or a duchess what I was most baffled. By was the suits had been on eight see. Can we go back? That's on television, eight years. You know, what I heard apparently suits very very popular in Europe. So when when they got married people at it seemed like she was like like Kerry, Washington. Star. And she's is not because the show is so popular overseas. They don't quite do you think he watched suits? Which is why he was into her. Okay. Hallmark movie. No chip for this. I think Harry wanted something a little further down the spectrum. And I think grandma said what about Gwyneth Paltrow? And I think they met in the middle. So you what are you your? I heard that they was set up by a mystery friend. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, he's come a long way you guys like us. But can I tell you both have to right? Another one real industry people love to naughty Costa. Larry one is something real thing. He wanted one of the city girls. Davis. I think he I think he wanted like a Riano. Yeah. And they were like you can't have that, sir. How Meghan Markle? Meghan Markle and they met in the middle. That was what they spotted out with riana my making that a great picture of him staring at Ron alike. He would. Yeah. He risk dollars tomorrow. British really thinking. Yeah. I thought there was some photo of them together. Yeah. Who wouldn't risk it all this is true? This is the podcast where we talk about who would you risk it? All. How much would you risk for? You have to put forth different. Alsir man is not nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, I'm on my whatever the four-figure checking account come on. Let's go looking around my house. And I was like if I got robbed like, I'm probably off traveling somewhere. I have my computer with me if I got I'm wearing my wedding ring. I have nothing. I just feel like oh shit. They took a plate of ace like handy. Handy dropped Thanh. Yeah. Us talking heist wise how we would rob tawny. That's a good. That's a good role playing game. How how to rob had around tiny it probably just be like when I wasn't looking. Right. You just reaching my bag. Do you? Remember that of the boondocks where that she white guys just were robbing people, and they got away with it that could be your white podcast people stuff in face. No repercussions. The truest crime podcast where committing the crime. Yeah. And you talk about it openly because will never talk about it before the statue of limitations. I know you'll be fine. Cast like like claws like fine print pockets, you could say any crime you've done. Apple podcast in Stitcher premium. Thank you for the show. Yeah. It's like, the international waters. Not the Dave home show, the actual international waters of radio, whatever we're in unchartered territory. There's no jurisdiction here. Whatever crime you standing in the booth. Tom. Yeah. Patient pod. It's like podcast or podcast audience confidentiality, obviously once you've said, you can't be prosecuted twice for the same crime. Jeopardy. We got if you know it's wrong, then you're fine. Yeah. I committed a crime. I know it was a crime. Like, you get it. Right. At least the world with with your like your angst about it. That's the important yearly. Your Leonardo DiCaprio and catch me if you can and you go I just did it to show you the holes in your system. Instead of going to jail, they hire you back. Right. I should watch that movie. It was really really good. It's really great. Yeah. It's pretty this is our movie. It's a great movie. But also. Oh now knows the other one. He did is also a similar thing. Wall street. Wall Street is. All the money. And I'm okay. And that's okay. He's movies are all about him committing crimes everyone being like. Oh, come on. What is the great Gatsby about? Decadence kind of like meals on. Yeah. It's identified fraud, and like, you know, trying to seduce a woman under false pretenses. So the whole book in high school. Through a book like close, my eyes lay down. I read it in class. Carl let him sleep. Making. Chip into the black shit ever. Sleep. Montijo used to put a office referral. Just have my name on it. Yeah. You could decide what date gets written on. That bad Trump resignation. We'll get you made a choice Naomi of segue into another John where we haven't touched on yet. Which is just Andrew just hosting a snarky funny politics pod. Just be like, but we can't talk about race. So just talking about talk about Sanders on yet. Making zayed's. Yeah. All it. Just being snarky and fun about politics. All funny. Yeah. It is. Now, it doesn't affect your life. At all Nickelback. Our? The Nickelback our what is our its own genre. What happened earlier today because when Edgar was here he really insisted that we played Nickelback twice share that became a tone. You would is the podcasts you listen to Nickelback Bernauer I mean. Yeah. That sounds like the radio again, but I get shadow. I think over the biggest. All right. We touch. Why would everyone hate Nickelback just? That one some nice good out. You know? For this weight is puddles. Mata different backsaw. But is. They had one good song. Right. So called Nickelback. Live is that. No that creed creed black people guessing about Cochran's. Great show. We actually don't forget show is creed. The christian. Okay. Be secular host. And these are the teams. Play songs legit. And you guys have to buzz acronym doesn't work, but I do in my brain that peo- diem puddle of mutter the same band, Jerry. Yeah. But the PO is not puddle of Mudd. They were angry, right? Floor. Let the by all. It's a ballot. It sounds like they're pushing you you know, what I mean out you. Now, why is this on those those shit? Hold on the floor is drowning pool. One song look. This. This is good. Oh, maybe I don't know. That is it. A good one. I really. Isn't that? Nice. Why? Okay. What's the one? That's like it's not like you does this. This. Hold on. I'm gonna look it up. You mean that was the good one weight? You did this is my mom went to high school with this from a hometown. Yeah. I went to high school with Papa Roach. This one the one that's on all the superhero movies hero. But that's puddle the mud. Yes. Yeah. Okay. How you remind me. So me saying this is how you remind me new saying, it's not like you. So that's the same saw God. Okay. We are. They nickelback. Yes. Okay. So Gaby one give us more. Are whiter than everyone else. Thank you so much. What's that? You were saying Kirby here hearing here I kept saying hero. And then I kept saying puddle of mud and I knew, but now I don't know that is also by Nickelback some sing I won't let this go. So I don't know what it goes blurry. No. From me. Goes. Laurie. I don't know. I don't know this. Good. Look I've ever heard that song in my life. Never. Have I have heard maybe it was big in the UK like suits. Oh, you always get you cool out is when you think that you know, a song. And then you go to karaoke and nothing will show you that you don't know. Oh, more being for you. Like, I feel like I never heard I know fragments of. He'll ton is if this time because expects me to do an arm be one. I do it. I'm I should say. Bills bills bills and kept it moving. What they wanted. Last night. We went to. I know mounted high enough. Yes. Yeah. Chard out pleaser. Yes, Andrew was very Hong. Saying by Paramore this long. Take it to the limit. Wow. Together. Carla my of song at a coup up belie SOX house, she has some wild ass parties where she'll break out the karaoke machine. And I should throw chip in for that. Because I feel like Asian people always be breaking. That's sort of an on cool kind of thing fresh air. So she should on the chip in. When she comes back on the show. We'll give rich throw it in. But Carl, and I have really bonded over seeing eagle song because I do feel like it's a fun way to like flex on white people with their own shit. Like, I like to sing. I can't tell you. Why a karaoke because it's like a slow jam. But when you sing it little like, oh, I know this song. But like do you made it sound funky? Oh, flexing white people know shit like especially with karaoke to the karaoke bar and not saying at all for long time, and then walk up and signed. Okay. This is a black man. He's gonna do pay back man of size. He's gonna come and do some gangs. He kind of looks like fifty cents. To look exactly like fifty people say that. And I don't fully get it. I don't see it. Andrew bank. This is all another chip in for just this whole conversation. I'll say something to talk about nine. What? Well, saying the REBA themes though. Don't even look at the words. By memory. Our our the crowd on her person. Look at the whole time the ones on that. I know the entirety of the words to that. I don't have to look at is semi charmed life. Just put that in his writing where the main care. I'll sing this song in its entirety. Yeah. Word for word. Oh, please pull it up. You'll know it the second year all going to start saying seriously. You don't have to wait for the court. And I remember the radio edit they wouldn't play that one verse about the past. And he would he would cover his mouth in the video for MTV. They say the Parkway. Semi charmed away. That was if somebody says, hey, what's song caller? They go. I want something. Eric blind like more alternates than like weird. I no difference chasse. They hop hall like nineteen Ninety-six their heyday. I remember they were super wasted at the MTV music awards. They it up there, and they're like, thanks or whatever. But they were definitely like mainstream pop because when I was like trying to be teeing Tony up on her favorites. Because I was trying to be like a little punk. And I was like I only listened to the pixies and the cure and whatever like people were like, oh, I like some term life or I like thirty blind eve six and stuff, and it was like you're listening to mainstream like pop song. Sick. Do. I went through a stage of trying to be, but I couldn't really commit. So it it got to like blink one eight two. It was it was just. Blink one eight two. What is meant to be? Straight up. You call them pay. Too damn is British pizza. Down. The band three one one. Information. Man and grow up in LA in like when I was in high school. It was the the IMO era all of our white friends transferred to heaven Andrews haircut. But everybody kinda homogeneously homogeneously new all songs. So like like rap in the new snoop Dogg Kelly is active, but also be like that was. To include my chemical romance. And that. Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know wheel. How do you know? I just can't identify them all out boy. That's. Go never forget Pete once with a black mother why. Yeah. What? Your money. Like a Jamaican. Yeah. Right. Okay. So that's actually seeing. You're right. Let me look at a picture. Pete win right now. We'll see you need you need Pete Wentz natural hair like, but we hadn't he. Shit. He's passing. Oh, look at them. Oh, oh, you know, what it is? You know, what his his head like, you know, when you. His edges. What is he just in Timberlake sperm? But you know, what? I mean, how it doesn't? It looks like it's course, and then been straightened. Wow. Perms react differently. When I was at middle school, and I had to ask her my that makes straight as opposed to why people get perms it makes. Pearly would always think Pete mom Pete wins with his natural hair. He looks like Jeremy Piven in a racist costume. Chip. Okay, listeners just Google Pete Wentz edges and you'll what you'd be on by Google at Pete Wentz. Mobbing we're off on a bad tangent. Because now we all making. Hey, sorry. Putting a bunch of chips sorry with this money when it's all done. We were down. We were you know, we were going to decide on a winner. But I think the probably the winner is someone who left real early before they had a chance to talk too much seems to be a clear theme. Yeah. I guess we're going to take all the money and do some real white guy shit and like not help people in new. Not put it into social services. Yeah. By a boat. Yeah. Buy a boat. I found a picture of Pete wins. He he's gone natural. Where? Come on load damage. When Joe is good. I like this. I like he doesn't he doesn't. He he look lighter. I like this show guess who's black. Guess who else is black? The other big one is the doot got. Yes. Flat. Mom is like a stylus like was like a really dope black lady slash though. Without all the shit. His mom. Ask mom, what my mind is blown. I think his mom would like flash. When he's kind of tan. You're like, I okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's that. Oh, yeah. When he was young. Although he doesn't like the goal who is now in. See this is some black sheep when you don't remember anything. But he don't he is. The young girl on the show. No, he looks like the go who is the lead of. Why is that new show? From ABC Natalie Morales. Natty Maradas and this don't lie. Natalie please come on the show anytime are both hot. They're both beautiful in this photo. Because his is looking down if I said to you. He was okay. Looking for advice at he's related to ninety Maradas. You believe it. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Very thin there. This is. Over slash and his black mom now slash can get it. I've never Google who has a black mom, I'm gonna Google that. No. That's your podcast. The podcast at full title is Google who has. No, it's it's it's too. Why people that like a sixteen something else? And I have something else. No one believes me. So look these other people. Something else that is the best podcast is podcast with a very clear, personal agenda. Naming the one sixteen can get you can get Liz Warren on here. Title would be undercover other. Would come through. And they would have plans. This website is trying to tell me people. Like it surprising me. It's Rashida Jones jordin sparks. I'm like, I know. Kris humphries. Yeah. Have something please. Please. Start it with a K exactly around, Tracy Ellis. Ross is on this list. Like, yes, we know her mother Wentworth Miller that was kind of a surprise. He was in that prison. Creek what's going on? He's got a. Halfway I've black. I don't know. This website is also black America web dot com. Store. The it is. One drop rue the officiant lot cast of black America web dot com. Black mom scary spice. Melanie brown? Of course. Jesse williams. Carl tart. Was playing interesting. All right. We should we should star wide. We pretty much got through all of these Yeah. Fake commentary sporting event specifically we could do my backyard MA fights into. He's still do that for me. Okay. I went to one what got me. Sure. Yeah. Me fight and rent. No, your friend Robbie. Hey, Robby spent on this. Did you win? No. I mean, he he was like I think being gentle with me. And I still was like this hurts do. Yeah. Yeah. I so I to so we very light sparring. We had like I've spotted with a guy. Yeah. Yeah. You're fine. Carlos come in for the W and is crown on the law. Everybody'll beat your. Curly guy hands have y'all seen Kirby's vox videos. Curvy move fast. She wouldn't want to have curving. Would you know? How would you know, you've even been hit? The house was Kirby. Oh, my sister. So this will be a show where we watched the fight. And then we comment on it. Yeah. I he's sports commentary. Okay. So this commentary, correct. Okay. John routes. Oh, this one you know, what we should've done this one before Naomi got here because this is going to sound me. We could just host the standup show. Yeah. Don't you? Come my. Just your studio. More to it to give it possess, a Jewish you. And we in the good sense to edit. So you're only getting the best. They're really what to listen to a long riff alone. In your a lot of buckets. Who do podcasts? I guess so. Yeah, we should just host is Dan show. That's unedited. And we should even though we said we were gonna do plugs at the beginning. Now, we're also at the end. Let's let everybody do. Plugs is a good segue. Segue Naomi Paran show couples therapy. And that's on the house of works network on the house stuff works network. It is the first Saturday of every month in LA, December sixteen in New York. We're coming for your baby. Fun show. It really is. Everyone should go. Yeah. You have to be a couple to be on it. No. You know, Andrew Tony came as bitter. Can I just me you've might wealth? And I you and a friend people could I what I'm asking. I can go with just me and work through that relationship. Definitely. All be there for you did care what if you did your inner life versus your public facing life. Yeah. To mike. Eneg go back and forth. Just one woman show. I'll come see that. I would watch that care. Do you have any facial myself plugging in the middle of shit? Right. I mean, we can keep it great. I there there's like things, but I can't they're not really happening at. So it's interesting. You always read my pasta, blah. Fanton pasta bitch. I real thing. Ever she'd be making pasta from scratch life and eat some of that pasta. That's. Keira? It's the best. Holy shit. Pastas. Good. I will say it is very good by pasta maker. When I have been. Ice cream maker. About a cuisinart ice cream even making. Something is if you get money like a little bit younger, you'll flexes just clothes and shoes. But when you Alda eyeball, Vitamix the other. My book something. Happening. I don't even care about close. I'll wear rags kitchens of the nice. Kirby. What do you wanna plug? You know, what they puddle of Mudd? New just discovered putting I'm going to a plug. I'm gonna talk Benetton which is a team that I'm on UC bay, and we do shows, and you know, it's hard to plug 'cause I never member in the show's all, but I believe that they are now on the second Sunday of the month at UC the website because we have the internet Bennigsen. It's great show us. It used to be nine pm on a Sunday. I believe is a seconds on every month. Love it venison is all favorite Brown boomers, minus one except call taught. They did not asked me to be part of it. The team together. Carla your I will say this online. It's straight up does not say when your show. Wow. Well, I guess you didn't fix is actually. Genuinely hard to find out what that's a lot of melanin. It is a lot a lot of good shades of skin in that group. I enjoy it. Just fun all your money. The only one we didn't hit was like we need a scripted podcast. We should scripted play. Right. It all ahead of time. More like, this is going to be so funny. And then for some reason in the execution of it. It's not. You should script. Carl reading the great Gatsby for the first time. Oh, yeah. In version. Great guys. That because I'd also dovetails into another genre. Which is like, you know, Michael, Ian, black has that show where he reads a book celebrities just reading a book. So this is Carl re. So maybe you read the first sentence of every chapter of the great Gatsby. And then you just play up the risk. I do a game with my friends. Well, star reading the book, I say, I tell me when you think of making the Bank. A genuinely nice fun game to play with your friends if you star reading a book and then just start. Improvising. And they have to guess. Usually you end up laughing before you. Trying to what was done in your mind, but I can do that. Okay. I'll read the first line. Can you pull up the first line of the great gasping now? It was famous fame. Thing. I've read this book like legitimately five. Liked it. When I actually know how we're gonna find this guy. The first line rates in my younger and more vulnerable years. My father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Joan. When you go to the snow. Makes you check the expiration date on the milk and open up the garden to mix crack 'cause they won't let you return them this. My son gets be great. Actually, there is a lot of egg imagery. Carl your treasure. Well, one of the last things I wanna do. I did this once earlier so I had Google all these conversation starters because I was like if you're not being asked to talk about your marginalized identity on a podcast. What else do we talk about? So I just googled like generic conversation starters. So if we've solved racism, we've definitely done it everybody just tell me, what do you fear is hiding in the dark? Is that something to? Imagine going up. This was literally website called. My favorite ones. We're not doing. It is what are the three best apps on your phone? Bad. Your brain has to be to think that's a good thing to ask someone you just met like you come to these business mixers often. Where's the worst place you've ever been stuck for a long time? Awesome. Awesome. The app. Conversation that is so boring. Someone has an excuse look at that. Doc you sign. Give me a minute. I'm going to be a wild checking this, and then you get your phone in front of them and not route my favorite app is definitely I have to go. Lincoln apple it's a bad online dating profile those questions or exactly like on. Okay. Cupid to get you to be quirky. Here's one what if you had a personal mascot. What would your mascot be everyone answer that one? And what do you fear is hiding in the dark? So we'll start with you Gabby. If you had a personal mascot. Where'd your personal mascot be? I guess the fear that's in the dark, which is. Itself. Sabin's? No means. Little beans. Personal mascot is death. And then here in the dark is also great. Thank you, very uplifting. Carl tart personal mascot is is a guess me in attracts. One of those one like, you know, how to dinosaur people had dinosaur costumes on what they like fall and stuff like that. Fake. Like, a caricature of Carl follows you around being the best that emoji thing that you just. Oh, my. Said his version of what Matthew mcconaughey said the Oscars when he was like who do I admire me? I made it by myself all trying to white men it up. All right. Did you say what you fear in the dark too? A bunch of snakes. How many snakes just like I have dreams where like I go to a park. Yeah. Just like, snakes everywhere. What number of snakes? Would you not fear? Numerical? Snakes. They've made me think like what you like it. Increasingly scare you like aches is fine. Yeah. They just too damn quiet. Have no leg. If alligator was in my room. I'd be like damn alligators. I know how to deal with. Why do you know? Last shut up. Okay. Exactly exactly makes everyone. Yeah. Because alligators are ready for. They're slow turn it. This is how we give bad advice. That's actually how I I'm never going to Florida again. But if I did that would be helpful one hundred. This is before I came to America and guns are so prevalent. I thought to myself if someone was shooting you ever watch those movies. I was like, oh these are. So silly run in a zigzag. Always what I thought I thought you could zigzag again, this is not. Do not try any of this out here in London the London streets practicing dodging bullets don't allow guns in London kissing. You're like this. No. Yeah. Right here. Alligator. Naomi what would your mascot be? Weary obese cat. Then feels right? You know, I have one and I'm into his vibe. Okay. Oh, very languid languid slo neck. That's where I met. What do I fear in the duck serial killers fair moving away, especially and I live on the ground floor breast. Now, you shouldn't you shouldn't. All right. That's up lifting Kirby. Okay. So is it must like what would be you'll patrol patrol Innis say the same thing. Wait, so minus death. I misunderstood. Do you know what a mascot is? Gabby mask thing that represent. It's like the thing at the side of the sports game gritty, those essentially, if you had a mask would it be the animal that should I be picking animal or I relate to. Cool to have around. I don't know what are the three best apps on you. Station. Would be was for the place in the side it to me. To me the best apps on my phone. Honestly, I don't have a lot JoAnn fabrics. Wait, never buy full price, JoAnne. Arguably never pay any what is the benefits of the coupons coupons? What are you picking Joanne's? Fabric, fabric, fabric, JoAnne has self. That is. Oh, my. Go there. I grabbed JoAnne, and we go out to dinner. My next. I'll tell you what. Happy cow, I like happy happy cow vegan app. Find the food anywhere in the world. No, that's good. And then my final app. What's my best one? You know, what I'm really know? Because. But what's up his priceless? Yeah. What's up? This boring. I don't have any fun apps on social media anymore. The only fun apps. I have obviously JoAnne. And then. Would feud best fun as hell God. Okay. Cara. What's your mascot? I'm gonna go with like a bottle of wine that can talk in loves me. Okay. Cool. Yeah. That I'm in a relationship with that. It's very like beauty and the beast. The kitchen comes alive kind of deal. And then what I'm afraid of is citizens means something that were the light out. I would not be afraid of it. He always the darkness within you. Yes. Darkness with. Oh, jeffrey. What's his darkness? What am I have darkness within CARA? Still filled with wine just to fair. What am I in the dark? I don't know. I don't know. You also have the option to tell us three dumb ass apps on your phone. No. I don't wanna do that. I'm afraid of. Buck. I don't know. That's people that. Men. That was a cop out but Carl stole my mascot. So that's fucked me. But yeah. The animated Carl follows me around. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Of money. Have you guys tonight in the MSCI knows that a real thing? A lot like you. A bit mode. Those ones you make. It moves right? Eglin? Fun. Wait is this incident now and you owe different? Iphone? Work on it. Kirby. Honestly being everyone's old black on. All ships and tossing chips. Let me start with the top. This is some thank you to Joey Clift, any Fernando's Edgar ear, of course. Call tarp Brody Reed. Solomon Giorgio Gabby done paragon care Brown Kirby. How Baptiste and beans racism? First and foremost, we have to think racism, oh. And of course, a producers egg and engineered Jordan and our old former engineer Ryan and all the people at your will for allowing keep doing continue. Yeah. Thank you to everyone at your will for not shutting down, although they can't because like the internet. Shut down there. Yeah. But we got him by the ball job security, man. It really is. But yet thank you to all of our lovely listeners. I know I mean, the the burden the most of the thousand episodes have been Andrews. So I came in here and did a solid five hundred of them. But, but can I say absolute, I my first, you know, taste of Andrew was his the tumbler yo is this racist. Where I obviously thought he was black. And then we became real friends that was so long ago, then you found out I wasn't blacked. Yes. That's he kept talking about crap club. And you're like, wait a minute was black. Racist. The first air will show I was on really. About to be the last. As you're on a real. It was the first one I was around two. I was on this before I was on bang bang. And I do think it was kind of an entry point for Brown people because like sometimes white shows weren't just like reaching out for us. They just won't really looking for. It was my first podcast. When I came to became to visit LA from podcast country. I didn't know what was going to happen. Right. This is my cost to. As something. I mean, it's interesting because just because like now that might not be the case that your wolf because I think people are more aware of like having diverse voices on the show and the hosts are a lot better about it. But back then. Yeah, it was like this was the show that would have us. So thank you, Andrew. They have truly thanks everyone. Both listening and everyone here of love everyone so much, but thank you. Thank you. Thank you just for being here and for listening. Yeah. What else to say? We'd take a call. Oh, we get. We did actually guy. We straight up. Hold on. This is this is grace edited flawlessly. Here's the final says the one thousand airtight three hour episode. Hi, my name's Alex. I am a thirty year old half. Mexican Barry white passing woman. Very thick hair. It all. Hold on. I have another call coming. We're going to play that. Surely. That not fix everyone for bigger things.