Hey what about this vaccine. Steve and joining me. I've got my rose and jack and i'm actually super excited for this episode. We're not that. I'm not excited for every episode. But we got to watch a movie. I think probably ten thousand times on basic cable as a child like eight or nine years old and a probably the movie that influenced me the most in my life so i'm super pumped to talk cyborg to saying this in the in the chances jack like i don't know something about like northern michigan. It's like the van damme. Stuff was not in rotation in india like saturday afternoon movie. For some reason i never really came across these things weird. That's yeah and i don't know but cyborg is movie. I've seen malta. Probably one of the van. Dan's i've seen the most and i guess it should. I don't really recall showing on tv. There's nowhere else. I could've seen it so most of I feel like for a year or two like there. Was this period where after the cartoons would play. And then you get to that. There's like that that period around like eleven. Am noon where. Then they're like okay afternoon movie time and it was always either cyborg or sport like they would just rotate between those two. And that was it like one channel. That was the only two that they would play and the other chan will always be dumb like movie so basically my early film education was me trying to watch cyborg and my dad trying to wrestle the remote away so we watch like some fucking z. Gray john wayne like the war wagon or something like the shame because we cyborg one might thinks coming away from this is this is probably the maybe closest van damme ever came to remaking searchers quite a close. It's kinda there but it's definitely a western more than any other idea. What genre you would describe cyborg being of been underfunded but western is mainly the closest thing it is samurai like it's it's in the vicinity. It's god's own lonely warrior. Whatever but i mean so jack. I've been doing this thing where the last couple weeks. I've been trying to raise our listener numbers by just being a provocateur. And the way that i do that is by saying be movie that we have watched is better than fancy movie that you like person probably listening and then i create this this thing for them to get angry at and then presumably they subscribe to our. Podcasts are really enjoy it so my my one for this week ready go. Yes cyborg better than jimbo. How's that sound. Try that what. I'd try that one on. I guess the question is is like mad. Max post apocalypse genre. Because that's what this is. I guess we have to consult with scott derricks on this one. I can play the trailer. We watched cyborg. Welcome to the not too distant future. Young gang shaping the world of hell and only one man can stop them sean. Claude van is leading the battle between good and evil to become a little thing. There some sort return to innocence god. Yeah roma pure who's who's did that e. d. and native american like throat singing things like cutting in the middle and say is is vincent klein. I'm assuming name is pronounced client clinton. He's been in other things he's in point break. I don't really remember them in there. But fender tremolo yes. I'm talking about fender tremolo. That can't pop out. His voice corrected fucking with his voice. They must be. That can't possibly be voice. I don't know. I think he were choi. He's one of the like antagonists. Surfers in point raica. And i don't room. They'd probably with his voice a little bit but also i mean he. He only has two or three lines. There's that opening monologue. And then everything else he says is variations on on this like. He does more ause than anyone in the history cinema. He sounds like the fucking the rabbits the rapids from barrio versus rab. Do you know what i'm talking about. Right myrow yeah little. We're going to get a clip of this. I didn't get one. Because i just thought of as i would have said you. You put it right here. This is a rabid go. Black and there's fat was go baugh. That's the same noise it's a rather. It just sounds pichler it just. It's so ridiculous. Yeah i mean this is just throw it out there. I really liked this movie visible of these movies. That i thought was like weird but i the This movie osas felt like blanket. Van damme action movie watching it as a kid a teenager growing up but it was really the oldroyd. Get the more. i realize. this is a weird movie. This doesn't make sense in any context. It's i didn't know how weird it was. Yeah honesty so you like like you said as a kid you don't notice it but also i think it's because i'm pretty sure this week is the first time that i've watched cyborg like as a movie straight through not some tv cut. And the tv cut of this it removes a bunch of the were just walking around stuff that takes up a large portion of this film and then the way that it stitches it together and it's to our tv runtime or whatever it's all just the fighting in the action and stuff like that so yeah. It's it's bizarre. How slow and methodical sites zero. It's a remarkable western To very unexpected touch points. I have this film really like stalker. Tarkovsky movie searchers. The john wayne. John ford fill it. Does it hits both the even refers specifically to the zone. I think within this movie. And it's well. It helps that it was it was filmed like yugoslavia to just a couple of abandoned factor. It's pretty much like the only sets in yards scope like decayed buildings and just like rebar sticking everywhere it. Yeah it's like there's zone it's on it's the main character. Van damme is basically. I mean there's a work in the movie but it doesn't really matter. It's like such a thinly veiled story elements at it's really van damme versus this other guy really seems like it's van damme against himself. It's like a man battling evil. It's it's kind of movie that could end with turning out that. It was all in his imagination. It's almost mythical quest for one man to to usurp reclaim world. It's been usurped by evil. But it's just internal kind of quest for him but then they kinda throwing a cyborg. Es to company to save the world because she has the cure to a plague except it doesn't they were the company here no she specifically tells him not to kosice two week which is a bit of a burn. Frankly she goes with the bad guy with the with the other guy it's worth pointing We should expect this movie to be kind of weird because this film came from this started off originally as timber the best my understanding as a kind of a safe a saving move from two other film production falling apart. So there was originally cannon had proposed to make a sequel to the dolph lundgren masters of the universe film and then also so i honestly do not know how this fits into the makes but also a spider man mufi somehow both of those projects folded probably who the hell would one watch either of them and our slavia spider man who fender tremolo is meant to be masters in the universe or something who knows i mean and so he was basically. This whole project was rescued from this collapsed. I get like certainly see this in the context of of a kind of like a botched or like a kind of like re fabricated masters of the universe. I don't hide spider manfred into. There's nothing in. This looks like it would be a spiderman movies. Well you're forgetting a third crucial element here. Jack which is allegedly when our pune took this like weird frankenstein skeleton of a movie to turn it into the masterpiece that we watched originally. It was supposed to be a rock obvious which may actually explain the fender tremblor learning and rickenbach. Everyone's is the cyborg so that she strapped. Yes yeah all those going. Abor characters are brought together inside bore the very successful motion picture at learning that it was meant to be a rock opera. Is i think absolutely the key to understanding this film because hyun intended to be a rock opera originally and the producers were like no so he just he kinda made one anyway. There's this intensity disease. I mean the utah. Bad guy all is just stand there and scream at the camera just like dolly seen on separate what he takes off his sunglasses. Then you know he really means the blah. Sorry it's it's such a strange film but it has this very unique energy to was it like. It's very slow as you mentioned. It's pretty much like the incredibly reserve film lot of it is. It's like a road. Movie itself shock la vandamme traveling with this other woman. He needs to try and catch up with the bad guy in the cyborg he's bringing at he basically wants to bring the cyborg in really plans kind of take over the world. It's like a follower of cyber security thing and the cyborg thinks that once she gets worse needs to be the scientists who were going to work on earth. We'll be take care of the other guy and they never get into roy. The politics of this winner will find out what really happens because van damme intervenes overcomes evil by kicking him repeatedly until he stops which is the only way to defeat. And it's it's just there's such a pitched energy to this is like i say it's a watch it now. I realize this house range. This film is it's like nothing else. It's like something else. Something that stars. Mel gibson as a little mad max who it. Yeah just a smidge. Only in like set. i mean sure. It's like mad. Max in completely different on an wood jr at a different species. I was getting a lot of it in the flashbacks. It was almost like this movie. Had like the thrust of the road warrior except they dislike kept in inserting like the first film as flashbacks. Was very strange to me. Those flashbacks obviously there. Is that kind of like definitely mad. Max is a is a touch point. But i mean they're shocked me almost like a say. A westerners law shots of kind of characters shot from the back kind of in scenes of nature. There these are the only real scenes of nature that are like what would you say like kinda pleasant and relaxed shot in nature all strewn with rubble and stuff and so it kind of reminded me of lights. A western generally in terms of kind of go. I joined to reconcile the loss of kind of a high a whole peaceful own existence an coupled with the fact that he is of the Girls is used to be a girl. I don't want release you with the woman that vandamme used to love is her daughter and she is now with by guide is kind of like question of tainted child and whether she's gone effectively gone maze of but in this case has gone with the bespectacled psycho guy. Whatever whatever plan he's with. It's a strange intersection of references. Like the energy and this is nothing like a mad. Max movie to me. You know. it's it's it's something else i think. It is much closer to kind of like out western interspersed with come. There's just there's so many things that are going on here like you can tell that the film was just chop to shit because allegedly a jean claude. Van damme wasn't happy with it so he did some reediting to make the fight scenes pops more. Our boone's original vision was was taken away from him. This was cobbled together from masters of the universe and spider-man's sets also. I don't know where. I read this but apparently our boy albert was working on a remake of johnny guitar and he used part of that script to do this and then it originally got an x ratings so they had to cut it down more to get to our which then i'm thinking how do you get next rating in this. And maybe it's because. I don't know john claude van damme literally has a crucifixion scene. Because he's jesus christ yeah. It's not especially violent film. that's very straight. i wonder no. It's pretty chill. You could tell the editing in the score the get if you wanted to say no to rock opera at least keep that sort of energy in in the scoring and instead they just put on this like horrible like low budget. Eighty scores huge weakness. To cyborg and worth mentioning. There's a separate discussion of this available. That opera pune return to to create something closer rezone vision which can restore so of these elements but the main weakness. Him signboard is a finished film. And it doesn't exactly feel like it's compromise to pune walter because frankly pune later created his own edges is not. It's not exactly more traditional or more sensible exactly in the you know the honestly. The dna is still very similar between the two of them but what side word lacks more than anything else is. The score is just asked garbage like just weekly little midi keyboard thing. These guys are screaming at each other in grand battle for the few manage. It is absolutely like really really kinda like ties. Film opera limits in act. It's like how do you make it. I mean i get putting a temp track. The seems like what they did. For god's sakes every characters they met fucking guitar. let's utilize to get dr in the damn scores. No no we've got to have this fucking nonsense. I i don't know very interested. Watch is version. Because i an i. You can feel studio interference on this woman that every step of the way to me and that even goes so far as the title like what the fuck is this movie. Business being called. Cyborg and i won't well there's one cyborg sort of a like a macguffin but again it's just it doesn't conjure up the image of what. This film is measure. Yeah i think like slinger is putin's version of the film. He retitled a which. I guess contextualized or that. It's about shaw. A slinger is basically a stalker in the cell phone. If you wanna get into that kind of vernacular. But i am his recycling of his version of slinger. At least sick knowledge is that the film is all about van damme. It's not about the cyborg. Frankly is very even visible for most of the film and kind of generally matter what she's doing and she's not even the female lead of true. She's jesus second female lead after another woman who vandamme just meets up with. You just kinda hangs out with him and then died tragically in in the end in a scene. That on so you could blink and miss. It doesn't register emotionally at all on four which feels like it feels like a child but it turns out. She's just according to mike a loss leader refer for van damme's emotion recovery sad state of affairs But yeah i guess. I guess the in comparing both versions. I guess what is over are like really apparent is that whatever pure wanted to do doesn't fit easily into marketing strategies or or obvious marketing strategies which i think is a problem encountered a lot in his movies. His movies are off. they're they're very much kind of like pop pastiche law things. I mean like he really made way an earlier on with radioactive dreams which is kind of like literally about american ninja himself. Michael cough added another guy coming out of a bunker. It's like fall out. Basically they've been big rule in a bunker journey nuclear explosion they come into the world to explore and grew up reading like mike raymond chandler novels and stuff in their name. Philip marlowe on some candidate. The share like two detectives names would split between characters and basically. They're like fifties kind of tough guys that themselves. Then they're in like an agee's inspirer. Read like dr fall at world and get strange hop culture pastiche of all these things in really entertaining films. That really interesting film vicious lips. The movie made after that is again. It's like an eighties. power pop. Chairman holograms almost turned into like a an internal like quest for the quest for kind of self knowledge. It's it's a surprisingly at interior looking again movie. That's basically about like a girl by flying through space with a monster in their spaceship. And he so he. He's just a go i you. I think has ideas that he rarely has the money for his films. Just always end up being kind of somewhere in between what he wanted and he. His sensibilities are high concept enough. That the kind of shirk off on road or easy jewelry comparisons. And then i think it spooks producer producers. Like new is gonna take this back and finish it off on that. He just has a kind of a string of films that are not exactly the film he wanted to release. Yeah i will say though as as a director who he someone like you said is constantly reaching just a little bit too. Far is overly ambitious most directors when they get the situation. God we've watched so many low budget films that do this where you could tell the concept. It's way too high concept. There's way way too little money at totally falls flat on its face like why did you do this in the first place. Lpn's interesting because he doesn't quite get there but with the tiny budgets that he has he gets really really close. Yeah and it's really impressive to me. How close the all there and a lot of people dog on siberian. I don. I don't get it like it's slow and it's chopped to hell and it's it's certainly strange and not what you expect if you're trying to throw in a van damme action movie. I think it's great. I honestly it's one of my favorite van damme movies and before it was one of my favorites just because it meant so much to me as a small child but now we're watching them like this is legit. It's not just nostalgic to you. Know i totally totally agree with you. Stephen unaware to add that. I feel this falls into. I've always i've long held. That van damme has not really got his jews as as a a gigging actor and assembly who has just enough clout to decide who he works with. And honestly i mean vandamme never of schwarzenegger certainly but on just underneath schwarzenegger vandamme carved data pretty remarkable career out of being the guy who does the big spinning kick. And you know he's worked with the work woods soy off on with a ringgold on and his this working with albert pune is also a really fascinating film at maybe. He didn't like it at the time. But i think it certainly stands out like a very distinctive film. And i think above all else i guess anyone who watches or you may like it. You may not like it. But i think undeniably it's not run of the mill action. Su he you know it's it's definitely it's own yeah. Yeah i'm a little our i i. I wouldn't go so far as to say i. I think it's great. I think it has greatness in it. I speak crucifixion scene. I think that's where the really it's pitch for me. It's really working but After that i don't know. I think it doesn't exactly stick the landing and a lot of that may be in the reedit. I'm very interested to watch slinger which we will be doing later but You know honestly. Adam funny things slayers probably the back half is closer to cyborg in the first half not the bag have is just that very climax which is just quiet and just hit the blob. Shirtless fucking oiled up and screaming and sort of not not very well. Choreographed fight scene to end the thing. There is some good action. Choreography in this film is more in the front half outs i wanna know. How many weeks in a row are we going to have a podcast where we're talking about at least one movie with an oiled up. Honk fighting. we make choices wisely. we never. That's yeah that's what. I'm hoping for because i'd like to keep this beefcake streak going so fingers crossed. Although looking at the schedule we may hit a bump next week. I'm not sure it depends on how far you could stretch the definition of beefcake. I suppose but anyways. I guess you know. I didn't realize this before. But part of the joy of doing this podcast. Is i learn new things like hey did you know that there were two sequels to cyborg also did his own sequel cyborg but they aren't the official sequels. And did you know the second one was also angelina. Jolie's first real starring role. These are all things that i learned from cyborg to the. What's the subtitle glass. The glass glass shadow magic perfect machine the cutting edge of espionage technology in a humanoid robotics application it magic the perfect loving machine human in almost every respect our very best in the perfect killing machine conditioned top of the live. Imagine they are all the damn you know. Listen that trailer. I've just like i can't believe that. They they made a movie about me in nineteen ninety-three. That's so wild but whole trailer like imagine a hot lady. Okay we'll dawn. Where do we that do murder. Okay yeah so this movie Glass to glass shadow is some juice that you put in your robots and then when you fucked the robot it explode it's amazing there's an entire sub-genre of of cult films that are about exploding sexy ladies than because it's off one ill. So the she wolf movie with the exact same plus. He's the one with the oil shootings. I don't quite remember a troy scrub memory of those films. How amazing thing said angelina jolie's at debut role and i sympathize greatly with her i was telling adam beforehand I looked into some comments on this move. She's not asked about this field. Walsh surprise abroad while she has about on. Our show is true. Yeah should come on now. I thought it was kind of Endearing that apparently she has said about this movie that she really enjoyed everything about this film up until she actually sat down watched is when she realizes like all. That's what i and she realized that you know all the excitement your first movie and you're showing up. You're doing things and everything's coming together. And you're like you know it. Your marks learning lines and interacting with all these other people and this is a pretty stacked cast. It's not fully. Nobody's am and in the end of all that to realize spoiler alert that cyber to kind of soak sakes it sucks. It's weird because it does have us a stack. Cast like you said i mean. There's you got elias coaches who he's been in a million different things angelina. Jolie jack palance billy drag. Oh like there's real people in this movie and budget wise. I have no idea how much this cost to make. But i can tell you about the look of it. It looks a lot more expensive than the original cyborg. So there's there's money here and angelina jolie is doing her. Dampness got all these great character actors and literally. The opening scene is an exploding sex robot. And somehow it's boring as shit. I don't understand the whole like the supposed. Plot of this is basically that. There's two competing cyborg companies. One in american wanted japan and the one in america. It's basically developed this idea that they're gonna make a sexy sipe work at an injector full of glass shadow. This liquid explosives. That's undetectable somehow and they're gonna center basically to the boardroom. Japanese competitor's company blow up and kill all of the other sex powers and annabel. They'll do that but then they spend the rest of the movie or at least the next chunk of the movie talking about how she's like this advanced prototype with all this extra advanced capability. And it's kinda like white. They're just gonna blow her all. It doesn't make any sense and we'll get as yeah. Why would she be walking. Bobby turn why would you add anything. We'll get hooked. They're down the line but in part three this war gets pregnant. One you know like how. How do we wrote the it's it. It just doesn't make sense. They build a super extra-special intimate clarify it is. It is very heavily clarified. Also the point of ludicrousness within To that sex robots are definitely lincoln very normal thing in this world at this point so yeah just send cats just basic model warning years. It's going to blow all what does it matter It doesn't it doesn't make any sense. Why would you spend you know like. Would you spend a half a mil on a bentley. If you knew you're just gonna fucking drive it into a board room and blowing us. There's it's it's a robot it's a tool it's you're gonna be you're making a bomb. It's a bomb with with breasts. Just get it out. There just happened. Do little sexy moves to get to the board room and then blow it up. I mean again. We're we're talking about not cyborgs. Here though right. I mean at least the first movie had a cyborg in it. This is just the fucking robots pregnancy if it were indeed a cyborg but there's no human element is wait now. Turner mice robot suicide Half man half machine asu. These are androids yes android. Yeah okay loop. That's a bit of an oversight. Well boy you got on your face of michael schroeder. We'll director of cyborg. It's preposterously stupid like that's this is well acted enough but the script is just dog. Shit like why. Or hamas was this movie. Seriously when you name your company pinwheel for fucking god knows by and again if you're central premises about these two competing companies. One of them is not featured in the film at all like once this you know cyborg quote unquote is on the loose. And we have these two competing hitmen. Essentially who are out to capture bounty hunters. And so you know. Say all one's one's been sent by the japanese and one's been sent by our good friends at pinwheel but no they have both been sent by our good friends at pinwheel and in fact it has a gun fight with each other. Even though they're i'm the same it's just there's no thought put into this script is just goddamn can onto the dialogue is his risk horrible. All one hundred percent leg dumb guy thinks he's smart and writes a movie to. This is absolute fucking nerd ninety cyberpunk bullshit. It really stuck out to me with kata. She got stuck. It is the scene where drago and the competing hit person. Which i believe is karen shepherd. Karen shepper karate champion there in this gunfight and karen shepherd says to him cyborg envy or human envy. What is worse and a that already is dog. Should it makes no sense. And he's not applicable to anything's happening. I disagree but then allies katina's goes oh penis envy and i'm like. Oh fuck mean the overarching plot. If this essentially is the cyborg is haw whatever guy decided just go and go his own away in bona cyborg. And that's pretty much the guiding principle at the entire film and the whole reason he gets into. This message is because jacksonville slipped a note gets slipped a note that says like to meet the cyborg in a lab meet angelina jolie and then jack balance appears on his on his tv. And you got a little rendezvous excited for that. He's like jack surname jack palaces mouth on the on the screen like video drome shit talking to him but before he goes he. He asked his computer. What is the penalty for pork. Cyborg and the computers just like the penalty is better at that at that life in prison. And he's just like okay. Yeah definitely going to do this ready to that. Desperate to bona hint selena jolie that his life in prison is totally risk. That's worth it but all of this boils down to just wants to bang. That's it yeah. The i think like watching this film. It's kind of hard to explain because eat is actually you mentioned. Tv it looks expensive. I don't it wasn't expensive but it's quite stylishly. Got lot of like interesting expressionist lighting and shadows in kind of interplay of light and dark and dutch angles and kinda like Fair amount of effort has gone successfully to create kind of attractive frames like honestly. This movie looks better than like a marvel. Siegried movie like it's got better fundamentals of cinematography than any of those things. And what honestly i don't know how are this are wellness referenced. But this this movie reminded me of those like full motion video games that were like super popular like the end of the ninety s. Early two thousand throughout this future video game is like a six cd game that basically it's just point and click on it just plays videos endlessly and we get like christopher walken or some other person like star in. It's going to be huge and the game so shit ham they end. They were like really just clunky garbage games but this reminds me enormously like that except without even the interactivity but it has that kind of like kind of quality production worth come like interesting enough looking but it just slow. It's like this is a slow moving film. yup yup. Yeah there's a there's a game. I think it's like nine hundred ninety. Four nineteen ninety five so right around this period but it's literally called hell a cyberpunk thriller and it's got like dennis hopper in it. Yes it's the same as this movie. Except i guess you get to click on a few things but like that that achingly slow kind of like just like the whole thing feels like it's moving through trigo either. Assistance discredit laborious energy. Like the whole movie. Just feels like it. Just can't move on. It's tiring to wash the film that you're certain like you should still come on. Let's go come on. let's speed it up. Let's do what he can do. It just never winds up to anything. I don't let s will say twenty minutes of this thing are pretty fawn. I would say like yeah Drago unleashed in when they're having their big like fan fight to the death and yeah and then we actually get jack palance onset. Yeah that's was just choosing things like an action movie tavern explosions like where they finally figure that out. Right at the end Yup that's that's pretty much it but yet leading up to that like you get the exploding sex robot in the beginning and then there's once they i make their escape. There's like a five minute action sequence and then it's just hor shit i it's like fucking dollar store blade runner for the resume for many many minutes and it is interesting to look at how the you know. There's no connection aesthetically between this and cyborg. You know there is a sequel absolutely name. Only there is a sequence. Where ashley jewelry is at Jack is characterised called mercy and he's like a hacker eddie like he sets the motions. Innovate our sense of Events in motion and he like. I don't know if hacks angelina jolie particularly but he opens a line of communication with their and talking about how she needs to find a hero to help her and then there's like with flashbacks from cyborg. If like vandamme justino no run around and stuff and i don't have sat how she needs a hero. It's the kind of things like you know. You're an amazing gas cyborg. You'd need to find a human man to help you to defeat army of armed people feel like probably way on our own. It's that's the climax sue like. Why the fuck. Elias is put into the deaths match. But you're gonna fucking gesture robot if you john. Why don't you now. No we gotta have ohio. She's a delicate. A delicate little. Do drop can also apparently crush people but never does. I wasn't like the two prose of this film. I would say firstly. Billy drago at ataman. You mentioned prior to this like deathly. He is the. he's having fun here. He's being big and broaden the angra goal and kind of chewing the scenery as like this psychotic hitman like blade runner character. Who just kind of is like a narcissist. And you know. He's he loves the chase and everything he's having fun. The other. plus of this honestly is angelina. Jolie i think who if nothing else. Puerto stroke with this I'm trying to think when she came to my attention. You know as as an actress. And i guess he was probably like late nineties. I guess what my girl interrupted around that era and an of hackers like s. You know that's cutting gets when she came to my attention but like he or she is just As much as people might scoff at the film. She's like marlene. Dietrich she is just this incredible statuettes the usually she is just like absolutely just a camera is enraptured with her she's just such an unusual interesting looking person in film. She is like the only thing that makes this film watchable for large stretches. Just honestly just to look at her and just kind of consider the way. She looks on camera on the light catcher sir. It's just one of those like we're alchemies of cinema that it's sort of like you know. This is a good film because it just photographs in interesting person looking interesting. Everything else is just kind of off. Yes well. I guess we can overlook pallets either. He's he's when he's not being featured when this mercy character is not interacting with them. The movie just fucking falls down a pit. It's he keeps the thing afloat really even though he's just doing like a max headroom thing where he probably did event be upset at fucking all for this. But he's the only narrative thrust in finland without the film can't go forward and an ice but honestly by the time it got his discussion of like. Here's his back story. I think i'd kind of check Guy just don't know what i'm doing here Says look there's like a period where they beat up with tracy walters in here to also take notice another great link. She's a guy like to see on screen. You know. Tracy walters always like law in livens. What what he's in you know he shows up. This movie has solid working elements and it just over does not translate into watchable movie. But he shows up on. Then we have this whole thing about like. Let's explain mercy's past is gonna More generic pass through. It's like is a war hero and then got checked. So i'll i'm lying. I suppose there is a cyborg. Cyborg to it is in fact jack panel. It was a war hero. Who was saved by being made into a cyborg. They go perfect great. Although we only had one cyborg in the original cyborg. I was hoping for at least two in the second one but you know. I can't have it all i guess so. This really is. There's not a lot going on here. i guess. If you're angelina jolie completeness or a cyborg completions Maybe checking towards the end as like this grand attempt at grand romance for allies copious. In eventually julie moved to the desert and fall in love with each other and he grows old and she doesn't accomplishing this really awkward dissolve shittiest all nine makeup vice cody's ages by his face metals face. The romance dave is very strange. And before that jack pallets is like blowing up like fucking rocket launcher. But he finally reveals himself from the computer screen. And you like shooting all these soldiers and we get what i would estimate is either the best or the dumbest line in the history of cinema. So he utters. These words dine with a long spoon. I'd like to know what that means. But trying to parse this like i. I'm wondering if it's the spoon is meant to transcend the earthly realm into the hell below. I'm not entirely sure. What the purpose of the lawns buddha's. I'm going with a similar reputation. Perhaps if you were dining with the devil you would want a long spoon so you sit further away from the devil. Generally at this dining event is designed work is put dishes like separate yourself. Buffet with the devil is in the devils communal super with the commuter before in hell where we are using our long spoon. So we don't have to get too close to state that his own dinner party feeling beer at a dinner party would say something already gone badly wrong but jack palance knows i mean it was there like there's no setup to this other style like who's the devil in this scenario is describing himself as the devil did any was anyone really clamoring to dine with him in a metaphorical center was into the this. This like to clarify frame listed. This line does not build on any imagery established within the fill out. It is completely isolated on a grenade at some some army men. Yeah yeah it would be one thing if like the head of the army men was looking all right. Challenge you mercy and then maybe you could follow it up with a line like that but really was no direct chat on issue. Do you jack back now. I feel like had just been sitting on that one for a long time and it just had to pull it out in that moment all the imagery of like actual jack palance cracks me the fuck up of this movie. Because he's it basically. He's not in the movie. It's just his mouth on a screen. But where the tumor. Three quarters of the way through it. He's just like bathed in blue light. Dis- faces like flash over this picture of his long dead wife for this such honored. Bullsh- it's ridiculous. Yeah it's colossally stupid job. Got this movie. I don't know if there's like a twenty minute super cutter this that included the jag balance line and like fifteen twenty minutes. Who was just the from the third act of the movie. I would watch that. But as it stands. It's not a lot here. Yeah i feel like honestly if this is probably the website like Out of this is like mister. Skin has Zexing with angelina. Jolie where she goes topless and frankly. That's probably like the only notable part of this film for just internet perverts. That's about as yeah. There's more screen shots a cyborg. i did. I've grown even more confused because a review sites this as the film in the cyborg slash nemesis franchise goddaughter to separate those separate franchises To my understanding haven't watched the nemesis films yet. Which are all pune films by the mandate cyborg one but i did i believe To just rip off narrative elements from nemesis. As far as i'm aware the there about separate separate groupings of films This isn't like. Aw maybe it is just like one of the demons at franchising. Igli fucking random films become demons movies. These are great directors pushing their art out and it's just films conversation with other films. It's s really like it doesn't get any better if this film in conversation with like gaza like the worst bergman films smooth boring station you could imagine so long long. Well i guess cyborg was such a big smashing success. That michael schroeder said to himself. Boy we should do another one of these. some was just like Yeah sure angelina. Jolie's real star now so she's out. But here's here's twenty dollars go make cyborg three. The recycler starting pristine richard lewis melting. Mcdonald's could you polish this signboard. Three fight to the death and so forth twos. Well y that. That's like the end of cyborg one and the end of cyborg to both fights to the death. That's like what this one has has actually not not so much an actual what i would fight to the death and this one and now that i've been thinking about this whole cyborg scenario i i must say this movie does deliver on. Having multiple cyborgs every malcolm mcdowell and the titular recycler are are both technically cyborgs. Right they are saying this movie. Also stars malcolm mcdowell. It does technically. I'd say they had him for like three hours. Talks he shows up. A ahead has a quick conversation with the appointments. Recycler played by mike lynch. The actress name gretchen. Like richard lynch. Sorry who a. He's one of those guys. Just shows up volkan weird movies at. He's always a pleasure watched the inaugural plays like it's sleazy awful person and he does really well. I don't know if he's a babies. The nicest person in real life. That's the way it always works out. Yeah malcolm mcdowell shows up has one conversation with them and then the recycler hates him and then it moves onto the next scene. And it's kinda like okay. I guess my malcolm mcdowell becoming coming back later. I mean the guy just hit him fine. He never shows up the get was done army. He's a set like he's the big bad right now. That he's like the the recycler recycler. It's a real twist to rue thought. The recycler was like going to be like a sidekick character to returning cash. But you can't you can't colby guy lures talent in hall. He'd likely the for ten minutes. The movie but i thought it was pretty ballsy of the recycler to like knock him out and then immediately like not leave the area just like go shopping like ten feet away strip club with a weird like man face like it. Looks like the who. Who's who's the cop from police academy that makes all the noises and the sound effects. Winslow michael winslow. There's like a michael winslow. Slot machine tried to sexually entice the recycler. That's right it's like the future of cybernetics it's basically like a man shaped pinball machine that talks to you yet. It's which which the leader wants. I as candidates is pretty fucked up it so this this is am sarwar. Three e. c.'s. Michael schroeder the director of to return But this movie otherwise has little to do with cyborg to as cyber to had to do with cyber one despite having the same lead character this time recast and it couldn't get it all chance recast. Y'all ever got a real funny. The thing is is like christine hodge. Fuck is that. I was trying to think of like. Oh my god. It's the curly haired girl from head of the class. That's got replaced your close enough. Good no you probably didn't have of the class in ireland. Did you think we did. I didn't allow connection. But i think i remember seeing that in. It's it's saved by the bell with all of the joy and and jokes gotta just sucked right. I knew i don't see that since the late eighties. That still be almost weird. Revisit deceiver remembered anything about her. I remember that being on tv. And it's sort of a weird. This is a strange film because it above all else is kinda like its the christian. Cyborg movie is is that a thing or the concerning stick conservative pro-life sipe work movie. Which yeah if you're gonna do something for part three and you want to keep people guessing making a fucking like anti-abortion move. He is certainly no-one. Was i feeling. No one reasonably could claim. I saw calling absolutely no one saw this coming. And then on top of that do have playing alongside your lead actress. Who isn't the lead accident. Last film zach. Gallagher from one those movies i guess i you know i end horrible before but i guess where else zach galligan. Lots north or else except soy. Yeah this is this movie is. I'm gonna say on a general summation this movie is better than cyber to at least kind of like a long. It'll feel like it's like just moving underwater but also and not not grace be myself if the worst politics the fucking universe guy all. There's no reason for it to have those politics either like it almost stops the movie dead at its tracks like dead pads stared the camera. Just be like yes. So we're not gonna kill the baby unfortunately and there's multiple times there's a. She goes to the doctor she finds out. She has a baby and she's like a robot. How do i have a baby in the doctor's like i don't know she's like we'll get it out of me and she's like i can't do that. You can have the future of human cyborg relations. Explain any point. Why a cyborg being pregnant will. Also we don't Human baby or a robot baby or an amalgam focus as we go fight. A saudi is not humid. It's just a robot. This cyborg is but cash is not a science. She's not cyber. She's elsom house robot. We clarify that alliance courteous character from cyborg to die. He's died in this movie but he grew to old age but she's just getting pregnant now so what was his halsey been doing. In the in between knowledge there is not this takes place immediately after his death so they must have like well. He was an old decaying way his family nap. This dude who's not shooting his shot and he would know what she would have pregnant by young allies taste but no apparently death's door. Ancient alliance is invalid nursing home. Shoot his little dust rockets. They mentioned she has like a a spur like free surfer. Something installed select Banged like fifty years prior but they. Her system decided now was a great time to just like top the ball in the oven at what. What's impressive by this film. It's that as much as harps on basically like you must like your woman with child. You must have the baby. You must the whole all all the hope of all of humanity's is in every child in your womb. You must as much as harps on that. Aid has no interest in even examining the concept of a man robot offspring. Or you know or how that happens like it is literally just like they just plug a thing into her on there like shitty little. Cg thing of like little baby pops like you gotta uterus at said talk your examination this movie and then they when she she tries to give yourself bursa yes. She goes through the windows. Ninety five desktop types in fuck it abortion dot four fetus found. Yeah people boop boop abortion rejected weird fucking horror scenario honestly that whole thing because it's like the they clarify later on the fetus Creating a power surge to protect itself because the fetus is a child and his lawyer ended defended. Which is it's a really cool fetus. Though have you seen it like the. It's like four polygons of cgi fetus. It's in the trailer to they're like. Yeah this is great. Respect twelve dollars on this show much proud of their shitty. Cg rendering of a child shot all my god. How recreate yeah. It's like if you tried to recreate the fucking like the child from two thousand one a space odyssey. But you're using like an apple computer in one thousand eighty eight. it's the movie ends abruptly. The scene ends and she goes like child was born in his cuts to like a fucking psychedelics creed. That baby floats up. And it's like the end. I'm like well. I don't know if i could call this better than to at least suez like i. It's hard to say like it's more watchable. It passes like that. That's my that's my barometer. it is more. It has a more traditional structure despite some fucking curveball narrative. Bits on a you know i. It's kinda ended. it's more watchable but also it looks. It looks so cheap right now. Like there's things in cyborg to that like a year from now i'll remember they'll stick it by by. There's absolutely fucking zero. What this movie that will. But i got like following. Richard lynch's like psychotic organ recycler at his eyeball nicholas in in time universal soldier. Actually it's i think by. He collects all from his cyborg which seems goofy anyways. He's recycling fourth week Is that makes necklace. Which like dolph lundgren's character universal soldier who makes even necklaces at before later being reincarnated as universal soldier. But it doesn't make much sense. Because i would imagine that the all of the site worker among the most like fine tuned interested in office. He tries to sell him. That corporate is only be able to give you this. Yeah this guy so upset. Being a recycler like most valuable parts at this field is a couple of other elements like we have one of the lead. Henchman is basically a reprogram sipe war who now helps honked other cyborgs. But then he he has a second guess bigger. I guess it's worth mentioning that the plot if this is as she realizes she's pregnant she oaks up with zach galligan who is a genius developer of cyborgs. He programs in design sidewalks. The tom line of this is very curious. Because dan escaped to. What's it called saw town which is soot like a mythical cyborg city where cyborgs escape to be free of man and it's a mythical fucking shed in the middle of lega valley and it has a sawing. It's a mythical like place for no one could go and as a fucking sign sitting. Welcome to slight our put the sign. After i think to be fair to the dom movie i think they put this sign up after this force field destroyed. Did i pass that Willie destroyed the sign up. They weren't welcoming anyone who decided to change their path. They could no longer avoid humanity going forward. That was okay and once again. We've established to cyborgs in this film. None of which live inside out right. Yeah everyone inside a strain of android. There's no question but anyway Older the androids in cyborg town are at all like broken and kind of incomplete. They're like missing arms and legs. And then zach galligan shows up there like worshiping. He's like a god to them because he created them figuring it can fix them but like the all talk is if they're like many years ago when i was okay. I was completed in relatable to do this. That you know when you created me you know so many years ago sack elegant is like fucking. Maybe late thirties by the time. This movie come at maybe early forties these imports wurster like twenty two years old underlying fucking old veterans. It's completely just hiring older. Dude zach galligan. Because he doesn't do anything anyway though. Yeah the way they describe them. It seems like there's going to be like some ancient old man in the cage. Gremlins was supposed to be malcolm mcdowell. Now you know. I'll tell you know. They should have given it to a really underrated member of the old cashiers. You guys kato. Kaylin love it. Mad straight for the oj. Trial to video always really. It should be noted that that money is reprogrammed android henchmen jaakko is plagued by the same guy who plays zanga chief and he in the john. Claude van damme classic street fighter and he also went on to play leather. Face in the Modern reboot lena while in glowing career the only other notable casting thing and actually ties into the plot in cyborg to there's a guy with no legs and cyborg three noonan ill in cyborg to. There's a guy with no okay. Yeah i know what you're talking about. Yeah and there's a part where they're they're they're doing something they're in a sewer or something that he's just like oh we're going to check with the ball suv. It's the part with tracey walter. Yeah yeah yeah. So he's he doesn't have any legs. That same guy is in cyborg three and so okay. So i guess we're we're linking these together but the part of the this part i i was like dying because it's so fucking boneheaded but there's this whole montage where they know that there's all these bad guys on dirt bikes. That are coming to get him or whatever and they're like it's okay. We've got a bunch of busted robot parts so you can fix us. Kid from gremlins goes okay so it was a montage where it's like okay. I fix this person's arm. And i fix this guy's whatever and then the the one beefcake dude just for given new just pull guns to my head so we just gets guns just fucking like regular go. No and that's the thank you. Both of your hands are fucking machine. This is totally useless for you. You would have been better. That was like an okay thing to keep the movie. Works like fucking illicit shops from inhabited drinking challenge. Don't taped to like fucking balls of forty or whatever your all your hands but with a new. But it's fucking machine guns like an insane. College challenge conroy. So all of this leads to. Actually i think gun hands is the last one but the second to the last one after four in a row of people getting fixed or whatever we get to guy with no legs from the second movie and in my head. I'm thinking what are they gonna do. Are they going to like give him like like prosthetic i don. I don't know what they're gonna do. Seattle paraplegic the man is apparently he has no legs from from the like thi- down. There's nothing there so he's well. Can you fix my legs. And he goes. Oh unfortunately you're a model z ten sixty and we only have ten forty here so it looks like a log and it just goes well. That's okay and then boom straightened gun hands actor but it's just like at some point. They were probably shooting off. Fuck we have this whole scene. Where there he's fixing. We can't fix this guy we can't we gotta write this. Otherwise forego think. We could've fixed him. They thought they were fixing a plot hole. How can you imagine if of movies like sorry no you will have to remain just to say also people actively wanna die when they store sally town like the again. It's like a generic group of like goes on dirt bikes. That's the bad guys on all these movies. And yet they storm the town. And and yeah i swear to god with new legs is like the only person who don't actually one other guy is the only guy who like a fucking stunt like who's trained martial artist to this entire fucking. Oh that's who mistook for the henchman the Nine toll thing with the same guy is a sore. But he also only tail he's like Greasy biker dude. I misinterpreted teaser. I was like why is he a good guy now and then they called back. Oh there are two separate actors which you know. I guess gives us this hints of like mulholland. Draw you've So that's kinda start because all of the choreography that final scene it's ass except for the stuff involving that guy where he clearly fucking knows what he's doing is trained to do this stuff and it's like well we'd better kill him. I guess who filled just looks like shit. It's like aside from the desert. There is no special effect visual flair. Here all three people get lit on fire. Come on the. I guess yeah. There's probably a good chunk of the budget. Otherwise he at some point How do how do we deal with the pregnant robot lady and certain put to give her a cesarean and the just ruben. Place all box. Which at the whole thing is like this computer. Engine let computer imaging of lipids. We're goofy child in her but it turns out. The child is actually just like a little tiny box. This letter stomach. I won't point at outages carrier routes. It's like fucking life of brian. where does the fetus. This go to just hit a box and like they were like. That's a great idea. That's the future and at the end. She's like loafing cradling. Smaller lifting of fucking walkman the however. We meant to connect with this film in any way seriously. It is impossible like no one could have a like an awakening in this film which is weird considering that it clearly. It's a kind of all on some kind of like a moral message. And i don't understand what you do that movie. That effectively boils down to a bunch of guys with machine guns as storming a fucking clearly like a town that was clearly built by a couple of like stagehands in after like six like prefabricated just like warehouses no doors or windows structures. Yeah i don't know. I have a lot of questions about this movie i. I don't even know this. This is definitely like directive. Vhs like straight to video stores. I don't even know if it ever got a real. Dvd release like there's there is a dvd called cyborg three. But i don't know if it's actually likes muddled could be any number of movies. Yeah it's this is really strange. So there's like maybe an official maybe an unofficial dvd released but other than that. There's nothing like i need. I need interviews. i need a director's commentary. I just have an endless number of questions about this. Fill that will probably never be answered specifically related to no legs guy. The timeframe is so strangely. It's a year later. And i can't imagine cyborg to was Any level of fucking success so you would just end with the same director same characters. One year later released you would think that they would have just filmed them back to back. But obviously that's not the case considering the cast is scrapped entirely. Yeah i teach. I have no idea. it's my best. Guess is that this movie was like a contractual thing. It was like we gotta view park three. But you know you're gonna make it with cardboard seems to be. the case. seems to be the case. All right well i mean. I'm glad we went through this because now the defining movie for my childhood. I feel like it's been contextualised a little bit more for me and i've got a greater appreciation and finally finally got to see kato kaylin a role and i've been waiting for that my entire life so with that. It's probably wrap things up so mirus what he put over this week. I haven't done a ton i'm gonna. i suppose. I'm reading through sandman. I'm enjoying that neil. Diamond's seminal graphic novel if you will i or series whatever you wanna call it. It's it's kind of long. Running program was post. But it's Yeah it's about this sort of you know. Let's neil diamond about various gods and that sort of thing as what he's interested in but yeah it's it's certainly very ninety s like brooding robert smith nonsense but nonetheless. I am finding a lot to enjoy it. And i haven't exactly been partaking endless media this week so we'll go with sand man all right Jack we put. Oh this week. I'm gonna put over a movie and watch the other day from nine hundred ninety six hong kong viva erotica which is a really peculiar. Kind of comedy drama. And it's basically stars leslie joan in a lead role of his career as a kind of a director who has made a couple of flaw. He's fall on hard times. He gets an opportunity to make new movie but the new movie is like their interest. They say they're interested in the script but honestly they just want him to make porno and he's he doesn't wanna make poor. Nobody gets drafted in. And it's kind of like one of those weird films as like she. She starts to see the advantages. And he's like you know. What if i'm gonna make important. I'm gonna make the best porno possible and supporting cash at literally. Juniors at the height of his power has ranked shuki or shukei. I guess pronunciation and in one of her early roles when she was actually mostly known for being like like naked lady in films before she went on to work with like who shannon rin top awards become one of the most recognized in Hot in many Mortgage chinese actresses of her generation. It's a really fun strange. Movie a kind of like strangely bittersweet. All kind of cuter Just a love for cinema bought within the context of making kind of a shitty shitty raw movie so much much different than i was expecting. I guess i didn't know what i was expecting going in. But it turned out to be much more touching than i guess i. I was reasonably expecting Just be more like you know rolling who feel sick comedy and it's it is that but it's also more so check it out if you have chance all right and that week i'm putting over a book actually got it the other day partially regret for this podcast. Yeah i know people have been telling me this. My whole life and i finally proved them wrong. Radioactive dreams the cinema of pune by justin aglow. And it's great. It's it's really it's almost. it's more like a reference book than it is something that you read for like covering. I guess you could read it. Cover to cover. But it's great because you can just pick something out like cyborg. Go straight to that at it. Gives you just a quick insight into the movie. There's some really cool interviews in there. It's written from a perspective of someone who clearly loves this director but is also able to be critical in a thoughtful way. And yeah it's it's awesome. It's it's all around great books so radioactive dreams if you want to get a look. This book really cleared up my confusion as to why man was in the cyborg. Yeah that see there. You go per that stretches one example because reuses of character day. Yeah all the universe and the universe. What's what's the name of domain scared. Brick bardo rick bardo which is a character name that our pune uses in pretty much all of his movies which we didn't know until until now because we read the book so there you go. If you listen to podcasts favor. Check out the description and in that description you're gonna see a couple of links. The first link will take you to our tunes page. And you my dear friend much like jean claude van damme and cyborg have a very important mission. But you will not be traveling from the greater baltimore area through charleston south carolina down towards atlanta. And you won't be taking a boat or walking. Okay this is. This is not like jean claude. In that regard however you will be taking a journey to the review section wherein you will give us a five star written review now. Why would you do that while. The fate of the world is in your hands by the fate of the world. I mean we just just do it please. There's like an algorithm thing with with apple. And if we have more written reviews in higher star rating it bumps up our our podcast and searches. And that's good because the more people search for the podcast and find it more listeners. We get the more stuff we can do for you etc etc etc so please. It'll take you literally three seconds. Just go and do it. The other link. If you are feeling particularly ambitious we have a patriots fan page that you dear listener can subscribe to and why would you subscribe to our patriot rampage. Well there's all kinds of exclusive content. There's written articles there's exclusive podcast is what i'm boom house. It's going on right now. You can listen to a special blow. Mouse gone podcasts. it's the kind of content. You can only get from patriot. So why haven't you given us three dollars yet. There's a global pandemic. I get it but if you have. Three dollars gives three dollars. That's that's what you should do. Basically that's a long assured of it if you have any questions comments. Death threats marriage proposals optimism. Vaccine gmail.com as a place to send. Those animals is standing by hitting refresh on the inbox. And you can also tweet at us at optimism vaccine so go ahead and do that and jake dot here. So as jacked you get the last word. Yeah sure why not. Jackie got the last word gonna die with the devil. Use a long spoon. That's is that right. does that work. i think so. I'm pretty sure that works. Yeah that works. That's good dine with data long spoon.