Speaking to Influence
The. We're obsessed with the Connie fife show. It's about a lifestyle shift to move up or out. Really? What makes you? It's about opening a new door to live your dream. P too early. It's about enjoying the journey. It's about keeping it real. Dan, Jamir years the. The. It's all about you. Or something I wanted to do stop taking so seriously the taking outrageous out late laugh. Yes. These that Connie fife show, we really union. Airdrie? Now, your host, Connie fife. Well, hello. It's cutting five and this is the Connie five show, and we have an incredible guess today. But before we get there. I just wanna talk about sharing our show because I love in our community. It is just phenomenal. And I just wanna thank you for sharing us and letting other people know about us because it is just incredible. And we continue being incredible guests on the show and today is no different. But when you sharing show in your hashtag ING when you're hanging guests. We have giveaways for you. And today's guest is going to giving away to you a chapter out of her new book, speaking to influence mastering, your leadership voice. So remember to share share share way because people are coming here. They're coming to the confines show because we talk about business. We talk about they're the real deal the ups downs. The, you know, the tears come the successes, and we all. Share in those successes together because we want you to be successful. We want you to really be thriving. Whether it's they're sitting in the suite or building your lifestyle business, and that's all the information that were sharing because we are all about helping you helping the world's most daring minds kick the passion of life activated. So make sure you're sharing us because we really do appreciate that. So onto the show. So let me give a little bit of introduction for our guest today. She speaks to influence. This is exactly who she is. When I first met her. I was just in awe of her the entire time her professionalism, and the work that she does and how she's helping others coach and how she's helping them find their leadership voice. So she's written a book about that. Her latest book is speaking to influence mastering, your leadership voice. She's a woman Jess confidence. She is poise focus and cry. Credibility, and the this is what best describes her? So joining us from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and y'all know Pennsylvania is really dear to my heart. Please welcome to the Connie five show Lor Sakala, right? Connie, thank you so much for having me today. So I what I sing your book. And I know it was gone back and forth and you applying with some different covers. But everything that you do is about influence speaking to influence, so I mean, you've done work with on the stage yourself, but you also help other individuals find their voice on the Ted stage. And you also work with individuals again in in corporate, but you really take them to that place of helping them understand when they don't get a response when they don't have respect or the getting those results that they want. It's really that blind spot that they have themselves show share more about that shore. The. Everybody's had those moments where you feel like in my head. My idea is so crystal clear never body should just yet it and they should us. And the do it needs to be done to make it happen. Right. That's not what happens often begin pushback. We get ignored or we get the run around. Or we just we ultimately the movie in our minds is not the movie that plays out in reality. Right piece of that. Why people respond to us in a way that it'd be isn't optimal is because we have this blind spot and the blind spot is the gap between how you wanna come across. Now, you come across and how you actually come across when you speak, and if you don't believe that you've got a blind spot. Let me ask you this. Have you ever had the moment where maybe you took a video or somebody else? Video on your smart in ten seconds later. You watched it any thought. Wow, that's good so much better in my head. Here. What was I doing with my face on that video or you know, things all those little pieces where you're going. You were here when that movie was thirty seconds ago. So is by what you see or what you hear right? That's the gap. We intend one thing. But what actually comes out is quite difference? And when until you start to understand where those patterns are or those dentals happen. You're not gonna be able to get the results you want. When you start to recognize it, then you can start to control the factors and that create that crushing and using advantage now trip for that that I learned from you because I I have that. I mean, I'm guilty of that. And in when trick I learned from you is video yourself and play it back. Now, I do these podcast all the time. And even when I played them back. Sometimes not I'm like, I said that. Or the hand gestures or something on that was something that I did learn from you because I wouldn't listen to my videos back and now I do go with back. I'll listen to them I'll play them, and I'll look at different folks that do interviewing to see what their techniques and how their talents are mind. Okay. So let me really take a look back at myself this if I'm coming across across that way. So that that's one technique what other techniques could somebody take like just today to really take a look at themselves and understand whether blindspot is I think video really is your best friend and about what you do with that. Because even for number one. I record myself practicing certain things even when I'm giving a speech when I'm getting a presentation when I'm doing a training. I will video record many of those experiences. I may or may not watch the whole thing, right? Maybe go to the first two minutes to see how I launched into it was smooth on ramp or that I ramble for a minute before. I really got my rhythm, right? Or if I'm trying to new piece a new story or a new explanation actively did I set it up? Well, did I debrief it? Well, the chance for you to really. Football coaches, make their teams watch him day footage. Right there words rights or comedians are going to go back and watch their some footage of themselves to see who laughed when what response at night. But it's not until you see your own video that you have a completely and totally objective view of what actually happens. So my clients. I make them end my students as well. When was graduate school? Everybody has video record themselves before I will have a conversation with you about what you need to do. Because otherwise, I can give you feedback on what I see. Right. Brain naturally goes into what I call it deny and defend bode well in open probably about as bad as she said our will. But I meant to do this or what I was trying to do is at her. Well, she just didn't understand or if you have this. Then you realize no, I don't care what you intended. I don't care. What's happened? What exactly it's not whatever that is not what? Him out. So when you see your video footage, then were comparing apples to apples. Okay. Both are looking at what happened. I'm not talking about what happened while you're talking about what you intended. Right. So that's like the great equalizer. So never nobody likes video. Now, you don't like looking at yourself or were really critical about ourselves is which is healthy unhealthy. Our? Let's it's always very awkward to watch yourself on video. Did you get used to it over time? And it's really important because the video just shows you what everybody else, do you really wanna be in denial all that a liar self to keep doing something that maybe isn't helping you. That's the point actually describe it as the secret ingredients, and I refer to it. As video is broccoli because as a kid. Other forces you to eat it because for you, girl, big and strong, and eventually you may even develop a taste for it. Video camera works because it doesn't taste good enjoyed process of it. But it really is good for you. And the fact is eventually you do learn to just get used to it. It's a little enjoy watching myself on video. But it's so helpful. I can't imagine doing it any other way, the one thing that I do, and you you may correct me the one thing I do when I'm looking at the video. I'm looking at it as third person. Yeah. So it's like a not looking at myself looking at it as third person, and I could be more. I don't wanna use the word critical, but I could be more open and looking at saying, okay, right more objective with it. And actually have a client that work with he's an actor. And he's like, I never go back and look at the retakes of the shows he said, I wait until they're done. And I said, well, wouldn't it make sense? If you looked at it before the show is completely. So you can make those changes or just moments along the way. And that was a couple of years ago. And he he's like, yeah. I have to look at those Vinnie. But that was a suggestion. I had given is a we'll look at it more generally look at it as third person. And that's how I started doing it for myself because all the white gave him that advice. I wasn't doing it for myself. It is much easier to give I will admit that. So we started to. Yeah. Though, then you also have the four word secret to confident public speaking like, so what is a fort words secret what most people suffer from that fear of public speaking. Right. It's there are those who really love doing it. But most would rather get a root canal men age in front of a large. And and I people even aversion to having to speak in front of small group could be six to ten people at a meeting in the room or something like that. And they just wanna throw up runaway quit or all of the above. Right. What? I usually council people when it comes to overcoming that obstacle that first roadblock. The head trash is that started the mindset shift, and that's a forward months. I want you to write it on your computer screen righted on your bathroom mirror in writing it whenever it is. But on a post it note, and wherever with whatever you bring around, but the foreword secret to confident public speaking is it's not about you go in there. And we think we go down this this spiral of death of what if scenarios what if I forget what I'm a mistake. What if this happens the tech doesn't work? But if they don't like me what if they ask a question, I can't answer. What if what if what if you're only you're done that's going to start down that path? But the FEC. Is when you walk into a meeting where you're not presenting somebody else's or you walk into a conference session. And there's a speaker in the front you're not sitting there like some stereotypical high school English teacher with a red pen poise waiting to ding new on every little in Ray way, your interest. When you go in as a listener as an audience member is completely self interested consciously or sub consciously what the audience is thinking is. I hope I get something out of this. This is relevant to me. I want to ideally joy myself, or at least find it valuable how so it's all about make it worth my time. Make me glad that I'm here as so they are really cheering you on. Because if you flog if you make mistakes, if you get in herbs in crumble under pressure that doesn't make me feel better as in the audience that makes me feel sorry for you. That makes me feel uncomfortable. That makes me definitely not like this was a use of my time rights not. I just want you to make my life better. So if you can make me feel like I got something out of this. If you make me feel smart because you explain things, and well, and I can understand it easily. Those are all things that will make me reflect that feelings of positive onto you. So it's not about me thinking about is. She good. It's an I getting what I want not thinking about you. So your job as a really is to give them hearing. It's possible while you're talking. So that goes into how d- how do you connect them with with your audience? So so it is about them. So how you connect. I mean, you have an audience you have different people. Some staying your offense itself connected with your audience and having that that voice coming across with that leadership voice that authenticity. How do you? How do you hold that? How do you capture your audience with that? There is a a lot of pieces involved with that. But number one is recognizing that no matter what your content is. You need to be flexible in your examples, your explanations, your approach depending on who you're talking to. So engineers are going to be much more interested in time efficiency in in number amount of resources necessary, take to build whatever it is. If you talked to the finance department, they wanna know if it's gonna make. The budget right down to the budget to the revenue bottom line right along. It takes that's incidental if it comes under budget. Everybody's gonna have a different take. So if you're smart, you know, who your audience is you take your idea your pitch your analysis? Your whatever it is and include the details that are going to be most relevant to them. And ideally start with an explanation right off the bat of how what you're going to tell them is directly going to impact their jobs their life. Help them answer the question. What's in it? For me. I Bennett got motivation from listening right there. Listen through all sorts of data and stats in examples in diagrams in charts tables, thinking themselves to where we're going with us on. Why am I wanted I care interest? What's in it for me arguing by life easier with this? Are you going to make my life more difficult with this whole thing? So tell me the bottom line of relevance to me, that's how you audience and then approach from there. You'll have such an incredible connection making that way of it. Let's take a really quick break for our sponsors and will come right back and want to continue that conversation just a bit more. So but hanging there will be right back. I show is her everywhere you can find the kind of five show and most of your favorite networks. It's time to recognize. Thank our be Jerry networks for all their support in house. We have much business radio cease. We radio transformation radio radio. We also Google play apple radio, Stitcher. And so may I just can't keep up with the mall. I stubble. Diva. Learn more about her, Jim. And now we can't work together. My fantasy shine in website, Connie five show dot com. I'll see you over there until then light my share share share back in the show. Okay. Ed, we're back and you're listening to the Connie five show. Our unstoppable guest today is Laura sequoia. She's a global conference speaker Ted speaker a trainer and just of a racist writer, her latest book, speaking to influence mastering ear leadership voice. So I want to go back to that question. We were just talking about before we go there. A letter listeners know where they can grab a copy of people. Thank you, go right to the title HTTPS colon slash slash, all that fun stuff influence dot com. Speaking to influence dot com. Very very very easy easy to do. So one of just jump back to again, you have a different set of people different audience multiple size audience and said, if you know you audience if there Anna liberal, you do the analytics more content content speaker and just wanted dive into just a little bit deeper because a lot of our listeners there either. Probably sixty percent or still in corporate and the others have foot out the door or the Alrighty building your lifestyle business on a lot of them have stepped into the place of being speaker sharing their message, and they wanna know what is the best way. And the biggest question that. I do get what happens when you have a an audience. All divers a very diverse audience. And the one thing I I have worked with them on is helping helping the personalities of your audience, of course, that is one way to go. But how do you really dive in with somebody and help them understand how to connect with their audience when there are very diverse just not one group of individuals typically if you're going to speak in in front of two audiences one where everybody has a common reason for being there. It's it's a company that you're speaking to it's a conference all about finance health care for to culture, you name it. So right. There is a common interest that binds them, and the only other reason it would be all were there would be no common thread in theory among because they're coming to your of it, which means they're coming dread. Is that they like what you do. They like your topic is so at that point, you don't have to worry quite as much if you happen to know something about this group. Talking to group of millennials Zora you fill in the blank, right? It a little bit. But chances are there is always some unifying thread in K joining right now, that's that's a really really good point. Like, you said, even if they're in the company, they could all be different from the finance department to customer service to sales. So they do have different personalities, but like you're saying the common thread is the company at self and the mission of the company of the theme of the company or that the of the conference at they're holding Franco. Boso stay focused on that. Okay. That that is really good. The other the other area where there are some this connect some have been either with association groups, but still they still come with the same mindset. You know, if it's the finance association or Allegiant association, so they're still an area with that that common ground that that common goal. So no great. Great advice. Great advice to have their so couple of questions for our our hot seat section. So I mean, I know you've done a lot of things you've traveled around around the world you use done so many different things and an incredible incredible women, but answer the question of I am on stoppable because I am when stoppable because I have a very short attention span, and I need to constantly entertained and inspired an enthusiastic about what I do. So that's gonna get me out of bed in the morning and finding new opportunities in new directions and new people to meet new stages to be on. It's what makes life fun and. So all that you have done so complete this one never have. I ever never have. I ever. That's a good one. Never have I ever willingly had to learn tax accounting software. That was a. Ling I have a tempted to myself basic principles of this. This is what you hire people for. Yeah. I'm I there with your calendar show. We did our just go get him done as painful, but this year, we actually we have a new count in and it was really enjoyable meeting in terms of she really made you add put you at ease and chief and sat there, and she said I love what I do. And I just looked at her a nice at Honey if you love what you shoot to you can keep doing it. And you know, what so important attention for a second here that a lot of people get really nervous when they're networking, right? How do I have not? How do I pitch? What's my elevator thirty second in euro hundred. And especially people who are in a lot of those kinds of fields often say, well, I don't know I'm gonna count and are just a this or that. I'm just saying I don't want to he's going gonna be interested the whole. That's the whole point. I love my accountant because he loves tax accounting. Yes. I have this idea. I was thinking about two yesterday. Let me tell you about how this new thing is going in high. I love that. He loves it. Yes. On a higher somebody who feels about accounting the way, I feel about again, I know never higher that I get high that you're tackling. And it's funny. I seen her about a week later. I was at we were at dinner for our financial adviser how we met her. And she was at this event and semi we ended up sitting next to each other. And turn it was like, oh, I mean, we we she she just go load like enjoying doing taxes that I'm like I like in awe of this woman. I think there are people like that in other real trouble. Out of what you do. And let's understand why you love it. Right. Like that. That's the connection with the audience were connected to you. Don't have to be connected to your topic. They're connected to have to pay taxes. It rights. Just wanna know that you love what you do. And that give sense that you're going to be good at it and someone worth continuing to work with right? And it was like a big round table. And of course, I'm like I'll let me by a couple of glasses of wine. She must God ten business cards before we left in night. I'm there were there was another CPA in a room who had mentioned it. But everybody was coming here. Because you could just see how she loved it. And and and how she just networked with people. And again, there's that too many tax, folks. Impressed with their. I really was so to do this. But I like we said about about networking, and again going there and the same thing for networking applies. True. As when you're speaking that it's all about them. Yes. Correct. Correct. The best pitch or like elevator speech networking. There was a guy who literally his company sold trash recycling bins. Okay. This is not SEIs NAT. Yeah. Gonna say the imagination, but I loved it. Because he said I have the best job in the world because I get the talk trash all day. I love that is so cute cute. I don't I have been some many to buy from you. I don't know. But I right. I wanna keep I can't believe I'm saying I wanna keep talking to the guy who sells trash cans, you know, who knew. Be ashamed of what you do or people won't be interested as long as you come across as liking your work arrived in confidence that you're actually good at it to right, right at it goes back to do what you love to do, you know, work work with you love love love what you do. And it just it just it just makes a difference. Just just comes comes through. And and being and when you're that authentic about it people see it again, you know, get like disliked car like I said, she had like ten business card people just coming up to our like give you my card could it. All right Hines. Yeah. I was eleven. Yeah. Yeah. It was like I said when I went she just put me at so at ease to do it. And I was she was like done. I'm like I'm done like Donna, my husband was like. Oh, okay. Let me give you big check for that one. Right. Right. Exactly. Right. So with that. So really, wait will you ever be satisfied with the work that you do? I think you've already said that. So it's a beautiful. Yes. And no, I what I do, and it is very satisfying on a daily basis we'll ever feel like I've hit the end. I don't think. So I think there's always more. You just never know would know that this kind of work was a thing until I started doing it about six years ago and someone unsettled pay you to help me be better at excellent, right? Okay. You know, I can do this. You know, it's amazing how life evolves something new. So I never think I've done I know that a year from now all discover something new that I've never made roar in it'll probably capture my attention to the no knowing you will you're not gonna be dead never gonna be done. Well, I wanna thank you for being here. This is this is just been fabulous. Getting to talk to you haven't talked to in a bit of time. But again, you're an author. You're speaker trainer working corporate CEOs around around the globe. So where are you going to go next? So you have this coming out. So what is your little bit more about your book short? Thank you. The the book again is called speaking to influence mastering, your leadership voice, and the ideas to take all these principles that we talk about the the gap and the blind spot and recognizing what you're doing. With your words with your voice with your body language, all these pieces that are for better or for worse, creating the image. New project, and how to learn to do it deliberately to project the image that you want and get the results that you want from people. And it's a do it yourself to their slots of examples and stories in it. But there's also exercises in worksheets. It comes an audiobook as well as e book and leading into may actually on may eleventh in Philadelphia for anybody who can get here. I'll be doing a special one day hands on sleaze rolled up workshop to let me help you put all that into practice, and that's a special. Thank you for people who have helped swith the pre lodge of body. One of the bonus packages associated with the books. If you go to speaking to influence that calm and look at the bonus packages, you'll see how to get access to that training for free on what's today to get in. You said may event is may eleventh, the eleventh nice thing is you don't have to take off from work. You just gotta get Philadelphia. The city of s always Email me. For more information at Laura at speaking to influence dot com. And I'll give you more information and one thing that's not on that particular website is a special corporate package if you wanted to send a team for free also to that event or at speaking to influence dot com, and I can send you more information about the events as well as the absolutely winning it over the you wanna grab a copy of that book, speaking to influence dot com. And again, if you're in Philadelphia on may eleven you can go yourself or head over to the website and check out some of the team packages, and again the programs that Lloyd does are just just incredible. And you really do want to take advantage of it. I said I was in a program with their in. She talked about doing the videos and watching yourself new behaviors in your hand gestures. And it was really an eye opener for me to go back and do that even how you cure your voice. 'cause I remember that Laura 'cause I tend to. Hi, I'm Kyle. Eighty five and you like. And it's like, no, I'm kind of. So funny. Fife Connie are host hostess with the most is. To the county five show. That's terrific. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks to being here. Congratulations and other work that you're doing on your book on on your book launch on your programs. And of course, and I'm in Philly, again, I'll make sure that that a check you out, and my my son and sister would just this weekend for the race. Oh, good. Good. They do they do that. But that gun had. It was the marshmallow chocolate racer something that they the five K ten or was it a half marathon a half? It was a half. It was a good half. Good for. Yes. They're only have crazy as the say. Yeah. Yeah. Half crazy with my my son is like a professional marathon. So he's he's all about my my sister's band. Yeah. She's she's just been doing incredible with that. She's going to be doing a marathon neck, so good our. Yep. Good good for her before a letter now. Well, that's all we have for today. I'm Connie fife recovering executive myself. But I'm here working with the world's most greatest mites and moving ideas forward, so we can keep that passion of life activated. And if you want to jump on board and become one of our advertisers. Just head over to the Connie five show dot com for details and really quick a word from one of our advertisers. Which is the lady's better known as Jason one. Now that end we thought ladies avai are the publishers of the twenty five hottest authors artists and advocates. You wanna get yourself a copy today by simply heading over to and we thought dot com and inside these centerfold section. You'll find more in there as well. They did a piece on me in this article so make she grab yourself a copy. Also, check out our talent con- Sierre. We we have the best branding amd public. Esteem around. And if you have a successful career, finer sub really at that crossroads to looking to scale your business move up in corporate or step out and become a lifestyle onto preneurs. Give us a call, and we'll give you a free consultation and learn if you qualify to be represented by our talent agency, you can also visit talent concierge dot co for details because we are unstoppable together. And I'm going to leave you with this simple yet powerful thought become the one people come to with questions every that couple times become the one become that person where people come to with questions, and that's exactly what people do when they think about lower Sakala. They go to hurt those questions because she's their help. And you you're listening to the county five show, and again feel like here make sure that you're sharing us share share share away until next time activate your power and keep the passion of life activates. Thank you for listening cutting back off in any of the good stuff. If you like you here, and we'd like to guest on the show over to come any children to flying. Air Ramizi ever touching for two days that will put you in front of your perfect findings will to you over there. Get yourself a famous activate your on stoppable.