Kailey Dickerson (Wife of Russell Dickerson)
And. Sees the Queen of. Zone. No win. No one can win. Is this absurd of get real podcast? I have Kaley Dickerson. Joining me. She is such an incredible inspiring soul to talk to every time. I sit down and talk with her just blown away by her faith by her humor her trust in. God. She in Russell Dickerson. Her husband who is rising star. He just had a second number one single country radio. He makes it grant entrance in the beginning of the podcast is so funny. But Kalian Russell's faith is so strong. They have been believing in this dream of country music for so many years we walk through their entire journey and something so cool is Kaley has been right there by Russell side, the whole time, and she has been the videography in the producer of all of Russell's music videos, so far she said to number one music videos on CMT blue Giacoma was her latest one, and yours they filmed yours and Russell had nothing going on. There was no money to make a music video. And they went out and shot it themselves. Kaley directed it. So their story is so incredible. And they're just have the most optimistic attitude about life. It's so uplifting to be around them. So get excited. Here's scaly Dickerson. Okay. I'm here at Keighley Dickerson's how Hello wife of Russell Dickerson. Hey, who's very alarium dynamic country singer. Yes, he is. Oh here. Gee, didn't know he was going to be here. Got an elevator in your house. Love you any by. You know? Yeah, we're where do you like to ride that elevator down to the laundry? Jonah the wine cellar library. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That very necessary for sure. Yeah. Okay. So it sounds like you guys have no fun in your marriage at zero zero no laughs no mill labs. What is it typical daylight here at the Dickerson house? It is. It's an adventure. He is truly like wakes up thinking it's the best day every single day where does that mentality? Come from. I have no idea like eight is he is unicorns rainbows like this morning. He goes like first thing I woke up today was it's knowing like he's like buddy the L. I'm like reminds me of L real. Like, he's never seen snow in his life. Like, it's so cute. It's a few. So that has you have the same infectious personality. Also though like, you're always glass half full optimistic. Yeah. I'm happy kid. I mean, so it's usually are like sitting on a rainbow. Toot not skittles. It is bigger the little kid on lake DreamWorks like going fishing from the moon. I'm like kinda feels like that. So okay since you guys have such an optimistic personality. How do you guys deal with this music industry because not every day is an optimistic day? So how do you navigate this wild industry? And you guys have something y'all have something really special because you are always by Russell side. Yeah. Y'all are true partnership in your on the road with him constantly, which a lot of women would have hard time doing. Yeah. I love it. Okay. So you're made for it. I love it. Yeah. I five older brothers. So only girl Ilna girl, and we traveled so hard core for soccer for them that I lived in a van with a bunch of boys this is normal. Now, I live in a bigger van with a bunch of ways. I actually live. I really do love it. Yeah. It's yeah. It's not an industry that's always rainbows and unicorns. But I feel like we've known for so long and had to fight for everything we knew he was supposed to do that. Even the things that we were like praying for so hard we want this. We want that. And even when they didn't happen. It was like, okay, they're not supposed to happen. So it's just the land is like everything works together for the good. Always you know. So we actually laughed about that the other day like he really wanted to think on the verge for radio, and we wrote praying for it for years. You know, we're like, oh, we'll get that, you know, verges where all the radio stations decide to play your songs like you're single. So we were like definitely we're definitely. And you have to be like, I artist first thing, and he didn't get it. And we were so bombed in honestly looking back. I'm really worth ankle. Like now, we're like, oh actually kinda glad that. We built those relationships the hard way. And like did it the long way in now the second time around it was it was better. And it was I don't know. We just we thought it just wasn't our story and for some people like skyrockets them into the stratosphere. And it's great. It's everyone's story is so different. But we're grateful for Hauer has is turning up. God is a big part of your journey. You always talk about God. I know that this is this is like the centerpiece of y'alls life career marriage. Where does that come from? We both grew up in the church. Okay. So his dad is a worship pastor in Nashville would Mont Baptist where we got married really greenhouse some preachers kids, turn the other way and go crazy. Both had our we definitely had our I don't I know. I had I don't think I believe in God anymore at that phase in high school. Yeah. And he never did. He is just like the most faith like they say like faith is a gift he has the gift of faith. Just. Blind total faith. I always even thinking about Adele now for oh, yeah, he really really is not in the jumpsuit, but he's like world's best coffee. Congratulations. Yeah. So I grew up passer sister. So because my brother is basically old enough to be my dad. Okay. 'cause yeah, that's what you said your oldest brother is twenty or twenty years older. So he was my youth. Pastor he like was really foundational in my beliefs, and my parents are Christians. But he was more hands on went to seminary. I was learning all these things with him that I thought were so interesting and then had a moment. Whereas like, I don't think this is real. And then I was like, oh, no, this is definitely real. Okay. So what was that moment? Why'd you not think Israel in than what made back. I went to Belmont. So in my high school in Wisconsin there were like there were cushions. But it was no one was like I'm going to make sacrifices for this. And I kind of was I didn't go to all the parties. And I didn't do things I thought like a good Christian to do, you know? And I moved to Nashville, and I was like there are going to be other Christians. I'm not gonna be alone. And I got here and that didn't happen. And I was like. Oh, I think this is just something. My family does. Okay. No. I was like, maybe this isn't real, okay? And then I kind of at and do anything wild and crazy to figure it out. But all of a sudden, I felt different one day. Remember, and I was like if I feel different than means or something to feel so Godhra that was it that was it was just that then on. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Like it felt like the joy in life was gone. Okay. An hour is like if I if if there's something to feel like that, then God's real I dunno. It's just that's yeah. And we found each other way after that like I had come full circle. I was like doing missions photography, and he was leading worship at a bunch of churches. And and you are not interested in dating recision new like that was not on the agenda. No, definitely not. So would I always found that like I would say that. If I look at my track record, all they were all musicians like what is wrong with me. I was drawn to it. I guess I don't know. I've done stocking on you. And obviously you but so you had like maybe not the best relationship before Russell. Oh, yeah. So you got a little burned the you weren't necessarily open especially to the musicians to relationship. How did you you talked about trust lot? Like Russell told you have some. But you're like, okay, you're human. And then finally like you heard that God. Yeah. Where did that all come from? And you're so good hearing signs from God. Like hearing hearing God speak to you. He comes to you and dreams, he comes you and signs. I wanna talk to you about that think credit. This like how did that come? Or you knew you had to trust in this a leap, you're gonna take. I I would always pray that if it wasn't gods best whoever I was dating after that guy after I got burned. I was like if this isn't your best for me, God just take him. Okay. And every single time he did like within like two weeks. That's what I love about your faith is like you ask and it gets answered. Well, he's like that though. My obviously in my experience, but you trust so will trust. So fully that the is coming. Well, it came from a hard decisions like breaking up with that guy. Are honestly was like God. If if he's not going to be faithful like I had a fear of that. And with him specifically in if that's going to be the trajectory of my life, and I'm gonna have kids, and this is gonna happen. I need it to happen now. Yes. Get out and no joke in the two years, we dated he'd never cheated on me. And after I prayed that he cheated six times. Wow. And I was like, okay. So it took a hard thing. I broke up with the guy. I thought it was gonna marry in. It's not like rainbows hearing got speak. Is that sucked a lot? But then when it came to rebuilding my heart and trusting someone again, I was like all right. We'll God save me. The last time he'll do it again. And it's actually really cool story. I got to call him probably years later because I I was in church, and I was like God what? Between us like is there anything like I'm holding onto like just talk to me. Basically. How do you talk to God? What how do you remind? How does he answer you? How do you know when he's giving you an answer? You just know like it's almost like someone. It's like you think of something you didn't think of. So all of a sudden, I thought oh, come across my mind that I know I did generate. Okay. And there's faith in that too. Because I'm like, no. I'm just thinking that. Right. And then you just trust it and see what happens and if it's not him it'll show itself. But in this case, it was and he was like, you don't believe I won't let you down. Okay. And I was like, whoa. And all knowing response. Yeah. It's like some people everyone's different everyone. Here's got different the feelings our dreams, or in this case, he doesn't always speak like that to me. But when I ask he usually says, something, okay? And so I I was like immediately thought of my. Ex. And I was like oh my gosh. I I prayed for this. And all this time. I've thought that you hurt me in let me date someone who would hurt me. When really he mmediately was like, I say you, and I was like, whoa. You didn't let me down you saved me. And so immediately I remembered I had prayed for it. And I thought of how he must still be feeling. Because he would come to town for the next like year and try and get me back and you're like wrong on your way, not happening yet. She made up your mind you were done house on. Yeah. Also, what you've he cheated on six times that and I honestly was willing to forgive him. And then I remembered what I prayed, and I was like, oh, my bad. Like, I forgot. I totally forgot. Yeah. And I was like I can forgive you in. Anyway, it's this is the real the real deal story. And so I called him year like years later Russell. And I maybe were married at this point awhile. And we were in church, and he was actually leading worship and I walked out. And I yeah. And I called my ex and I was like, hey, I just want you to know that that wasn't you like we weren't supposed to be together. And I wasn't gonna see it other than that. I just wanna release you from thinking that you messed everything up. And I was like I prayed for this to happen. If we weren't supposed to be together, and it happened in it's not your character. And it's not who you are. And you're not gonna you know, all of a sudden, he's crying on the phone. I'm crying. Wow. You gave him serious like forgiveness them. Yeah. And I was like this is not going to be a future. I mean, it's shifted into like prophesying over his life. I'm like, this is not who you are not who you're going to be. You're going to be a great dad and a great husband, and and just kind of let them go. And I mean, he was crying. I was crying what lease some really special thing, actually. And then for him to have that forgiveness for me, you know, and to think that like he doesn't have to be that person. And you won't married has a kid like he's just a good, dude. I hope I think, you know. So I have gone through like the hard stuff with God that that good stuff is that much sweeter. And are you able to see the hard stuff now as part of God's good plan? Totally. That's something. I've been learning lately. Because I used to think things were good or bad. Like if like, Ben. Bad happens, you know, and especially in this industry, this wild industry a roller coaster ride now it'd be like, oh, if things don't go Cording to plan and even with my own career. I've had a wild career and. Yeah, distri it's like so many things of blown up in my face. And in the beginning it crushed me. Like when it first started happening. I was like how can this happen in my life is over? How will we ever like move on? And then comes this next wave of lessons of learning of things getting answered in ways that could have never been answered if if something. Yeah. Bad per se hadn't happened, and it's made me realize that things really aren't bad. You just have to be willing to find the message in them. And it's all for the good. It's all the good offer the good, and we expect it guys going to do things in a way that feel right to us. But God teaches lessons in all different ways. Totally a lot of them hurt. It's not like his goal for our lives, isn't that? It's like sunshine and unicorns. It's not it's that we. We're good people. And we're humble people in that we love others. Well, and sometimes the hard stuff force you to do those things and see what really matters in what doesn't matter. You see you're in Africa with little kids who are smiling bigger than anyone you've ever seen in your life in all they have is a deflated soccer ball. Like, there are things in this life that we think matter that don't at all. Yeah. They just don't they don't. And I think that perspective is what really opens our eyes to it. I totally agree. And this year, my word has been surrender because so good. Well, it's just like I always have so many plans, and I still have so many plans, and I still have so many goals, and like I want my life. I know high want my life to look because I very visionary mind. But also on like, some of the greatest things that ever happened to me have been so off course, you know. Yeah. It's like I'm trying to just let it all role. And if something happens that rocks world get the lesson figure out why it happened. Sometimes being humbled such a good thing to I'm thankful to like, even if I hadn't had that. Heartbreak. How would I ever relate to other girls who've been heartbroken, you know? And what have you you might not even appreciate Russell b. He is you might just think that's how able are people are just like that. No. They're not. But yeah, like, I'm just so even so Russ in I even broke up while we were dating. Okay. Or y'all just just test to make sure when I broke up to we were just we just graduated college. He was about to take off and be the superstar, and I was out of still figuring my stuff out to and so even when that even that ended I'd still with praying. God if this is not your best. If this isn't your best for me, like take him. And so when that happened. I was like, okay. Maybe it's not Russell. And I just had so much peace because I'd already done this, you know, and I'd already and so in turn I didn't get all clinging on him and be like, but no, no we're supposed to be together. We're supposed to be on your faith with straw. Just let him go. I let them go. And I prayed for him and prayed, I would still be like if it's if it Tim bring him back if it's not I don't want him. And sure enough within about a month, he came back, and he called me up thanksgiving while in that month was like, I'm thankful for you. And I was like excuse me. What why are you calling me? Like, I don't know. I just thought about you. And just wanted to tell you thing for you it like, okay? Because he was like, we'll be friends. I was like oh hail. No. I've never been one of those people friends of access. No, I was like you do not get both. You do not get both. And and I think that honestly helped a lot because I just really let him go and I wasn't half their half. Not and not lukewarm. Yeah. Like, you're all in or not, and he came back in all in, and then how long until you married after that he proposed a year in a month or so after that. And then we got married three months after that as soon as we wearing. Okay. So very very real placement. We were like issues. Let's get married. We weren't living together. You know, we were so excited to be married. I didn't I wasn't excited about a wedding. I I really like the sounds so stressful especially as the only girl I was like pressure is on city kind of a low-key wedding there. Six hundred people my gosh, not others. No, I'm not a very anxious person. Which also I think helps with this whole rows of your faith that you don't have anxiety. Probably. Yeah. Probably or so solid faith hours. No, no. There's plenty of times. Like, hello. God a looting being being right here. There's plenty of time. But. When a friend of mine just went through something so hard, and there are plenty of times. I'm like God. Where are you in this? 'cause this is not good in the because life happens and we're not in heaven. So it's just not going to be here. And I understand that. But. Yeah. There's plenty of times that I'm like Hello. This isn't cool. Yeah. This is really really hard. And there were plenty of times in his career. The last five years we've been like where are you? I know. I know I think though that everyone has that journey. Yeah. Especially it's okay. It's human beings. Like if anyone tells you they never questioned anything anytime it'd be like concerned unless they're Russell. And they have the gift of faith. Like, I mean, he just really is like a fairy. And God is everywhere. And so what would it be to be like him for a day? I don't know. I don't know. I'm honestly kinda scared like his. He is eighty see. Oh, it's like Bing Bing being being being. It's so fun. We were just talking about. He's starting his vlag, which who knows if this will ever even happen. I'm going to be honest. His eighty is like I'm super into this right now. Yeah. He's doing the whole thing. Okay. But it's like I watched his first episode, and it truly is like insight into his brain. Okay. Because this is his direction he is shooting. He's choosing. What to film? He's heading to eight is like all over the place. Like it is like a trip through his brain. It's so funny site that's exciting. And I'm just glad I'm not doing it. I'm like, it's kind of fun with the camera babe, I'm gonna chill it's change of roles because you're the video for Hello to CMT number one video. How is that weird like itself funny? I I'm super proud of it because female directors are really rare like really like we were nominated for breakthrough video last year at CMT's. So film, and so they're just making sure we're coming at a rig my situation couldn't check yet. We should I can picture what's happening over here to put on. That's how I'll post that were. Yeah. Yeah. So we were nominated for CMT breakthrough video with yours. Yes. Which was purely just me and him in our front been driving. And that was also a leap of faith video. Because at that point. There wasn't a whole lot going on with Russell's career. No. There was nothing. Everyone said no everyone has said now. So you said, okay. Let me just go out and film this video. Yeah. Well, I had so my fourth brother the one whose apartment we're in. Also, you have a getaway LA, which we have talked. Yes, he moved to Santa Barbara. But he was rent controlled in house. Like, yeah, we're gonna take this over it's a dream. So he is a director has done tons of major major music videos, and so I was a junior in college. And he was like, hey, I just got a nice camera for Christmas. And he had this video job come through that they didn't initially like the first video that was shot. So all the budget was gone. And he's like I have five thousand dollars to pull off video wasn't or Jones. He's like can you bring your camera? And I was like sure, and I was like I've never done this. And he was like I was like rock coming into her moment. No. It wasn't like come away with me. But it was like shortly after. Yeah. And within like five years of that. I don't know. And so we flew out. I was like what are we doing where we going? He's like, I'm taking you to New York. We're doing this some junior college. I've never shot a music video in my life. I just photography. So I don't know I said photography. So we did photography. Like headshots all that in the music school Belmont. And then he was like I've seen your I good is. I get like you. Teach you out of film. You're have the other part. Okay. Thanks, bro. Thank you. So he flew me in where we going like, do you know who Joneses? And I was like, yes. I had come out. Yes. Okay. So she's already so she's already superstar. Yeah. And he has a five thousand dollar budget video. I don't know. How does this happen? Well, they didn't like the first video that was made that used the budget. So then they're like, they're like three do it. And they get were like, let's go with that other guy that we didn't pick his treatment and give him the tiniest budget. Yes. And so we all on her apartment and all these different other places too. But yeah, just around New York to be role, and he did some stuff out in LA. So he was like he's like I have enough on my real. I'm putting you as DP of this music AP me director photography. So like the cinematographer like excusing job. Yeah. Like, I didn't even know how to do that chogori found you. Yeah. It honestly, I wasn't like I'm going to be a cinematographer. So I'd already done it nor Jones origins. That's a good start. So then I came back and did other music videos in Nashville like low-budget, did I give you good confidence boost? Yeah. I guess let me raise my rates and make a living. But like that's the girl that did the nor Jones. Video. Yeah. Guys, I'm a professional for sure. So then when every label said note him, I was like we can do this like we can do this ourselves. And how did you come up with the idea because it's literally Russell walking down a road. I it's raining random, but totally worked out. Yes. It planned or. No, no. So we were just going to shoot test footage in a storm was like rolling in. Because I wanted to be sure I wanted to slow it down speed up the music because it has whatever. And I was like going to share that. I know that I can do this. So we went out there and as we're coming. This storm is just rolling in. And I was like, okay, we need we need to get somewhere. Quick quick. We hadn't even done location. Scouting. We're outside of the prison in not in west Nashville. Awesome. Yeah. There's fire or tornado sirens going off, and we couldn't hear them. But now looking back, I think that's why we didn't get stopped because everyone was undercover we were only there for like an hour and a half. He's walked down this road. Cars would come. And we'd have to redo it. And I'd be like hurry. Hurry. Hurry. The rain's coming. So we were driving. And again, I was like God. It'd be nice. If I all of my shots that I need before the rain comes. And then once I'm done, I need downpour. To get some shots of that does happen. Yeah. And we went back out there to shoot his EP in. Meanwhile, we're leaving. And I'm like I'd called my cinematographer friend in LA, he's like I mean did stuff with grazing outta me. Like, he's insane. And he didn't get back to me because I was like I just wanted to be sure is doing the show rate, everything, right? And he calls me after we're done. And I was like please tell me that this was right. He goes. That's exactly what told you to do house like God. 'cause I was like I got all this lightning. And I was like I can't recreate this. If this happened like I needed this work, right? And it did. And that was kind of your first real video direct all by yourself. Oh, yeah. Very first. And it goes to number one on CMT. Yeah. And you get nominated for music video of the year word. What is that? Yeah. It was. I ended the whole thing. Like, it was all all in house raise that all in house. So you'll Russell are kinda like y'all. That's what's so cool about y'all are so self Nate as a team to because he's obviously the artists with the music, but you are visually creating the he shows me songs in new demos. I see the video and blue Tacoma was one of my favorite that made. You just feel like that the drone looks and everything you're on a I just want everyone to feel like they're they're. They took this road trip with us. I don't want other people in it. I want it to feel like we're in our own world and feel like we didn't that was brought in to direct with me on this one. Because I was like, I don't know how to do all the permits and stuff kidding me. It's like a road trip. There was so many places we need permits and all the legal stuff really sex to joy. Hundred percent, and he had he had done a Mercedes commercial. And so he used those same drone guys on this. He had all the connections of who he wanted. So it was pretty great. Yeah. And that one also made number one the empty. I mean is crazy. So you guys. Okay. Okay. This is what I love you guys too. Because like I feel like for eight years or so y'all were praying for success, right or how long was it? Gosh. Well, really since we got married which was five and a half years ago. So he's been at this since we graduate. He signed his first publishing deal in two thousand when did we graduate college two thousand eleven okay. So he's been at this for eight years. So eight years of waiting believing preparing of planning seeds. I just talked into my coffee. Hey, I like it. Yeah. And then all the sudden all this hard work dislike overflows pays off in like. In one year that all the year. Was it two hours went number one like a week ago last year this last a year ago? So could go eighteen was year. Yeah. That everything was like, we got our first bus. We're not driving van any praise. God I bus to number ones like a CMT nam he was nominated for ace EM's wild. And I heart new artists. That's yeah. Has hasn't happened yet? No, not yet. I mean, I know awesome tours toward a lady or somebody else. We're so spoiled with tours like how is that? Because Charles and Cassie of lady. Yes. My my people how to sell your best. We've only toured with our besties. Okay. So which we didn't know is like rare, so Thomas Rhett, Thomas Rhett, Florida, Georgia line in lady antebellum, our best friends in the industry partially so TR through us a bone like he. Was like this guy's going to be someone just trust me because he asked him on tour. Gosh, when was it was not this last year that you before that before wasn't even on the radio. We didn't even have ready to give him a shot. Yeah. And he had seen the video. We showed it to them and him in Tyler we show Tyler and Hayley Tyler Hubbard, and that's of anal-. Yes, in Tyler was like, you guys gotta show TR the video you gotta show him. So we showed him in DR never heard rusting was like dude, but we are friends of. Yeah. Ever heard him seeing you know, this was like this was right? When we shot the video Tyler Hubbard's wedding. That's how long ago this was. Okay. So that was I think a year after we got married so this is like four or five years ago. Okay. 'cause he released yours for years before it went number one. And at least it with the video that's around. Yeah. It's been around. Alive. Yes. So that far back and TR saw. And then shortly after he saw his streams climbing and then asked him on tour, and he told me I we're playing darts after for heating CMT something at some bar Greenhills. He's like can I tell you something like he's like I'm gonna ask us onto or now's like like freaking out. And he was like you can't tell him though. Like, why did you? I this is the meanest thing you've ever done to me. I said I was supposed to keep this a secret. I was like, no, no, absolutely not. I don't keep secrets from one to. I don't keep really great things from him. Like, what do I made him? Tell about the end of the night. Okay. TR has something you'd like to tell you. So a so great. We were out with Ryan heard and Kelsey Ballerini NTR. Oh my God. It was just like a is. So it was like so young first of all everyone was under thirty pretty sure. Yeah. And just a blast. Patrick together. Yeah. Touring life. Yeah. And then we went out with F geo. And then it's more shows at Thomas Rhett, and then lady so tell me what you have gathered from being on tour. What is life like for you? And what have you learned from being on tour with all of these people who are your best ease in friends? And then also, you know, colleagues it's more of a family than you would imagine. And especially now 'cause TR Lauren have two children, and you were part you went to Africa. Yeah. Orrin. Yeah. What she's getting willa gray? I documented that whole process for her. And just that they would have it. I don't know what they'll do or. But she a lot of people wanted to document it. And she was like it's way too personal. She's like need any do there. And she told me on a Thursday or Wednesday. And we were leaving the next Wednesday. She was like, well you come. And I was like sure, and I go I go to get my shots and Vanderbilt wouldn't give them to me. Like, you need these ten days out. I was like why didn't. I was going to Africa until like now. So I don't know what you want me to do. Yeah. I was like I need a yellow card, and like we don't do it, smells like what the heck some big gave me a whole list of places. And I got an easy to tell me what to call like I was like I don't have time for this. And all of a sudden this one I like that one. It was just a feeling and I call in like sorry. We're not doing this today. Something she was like, let me take your name. And I'll call you tomorrow. So Kaley Dickerson, and she goes, wait a second. What's your husband's name, are you Syria? And I was like Russell. She goes. Can I call you right back, and I was like share? So she calls me back. And she was like, okay. You can come in today anytime they superfan. Yeah. I guess I was like excuse me. What did she goes took care of it? I'm such a fan. Like, our get you in L my God. And I was like, thank you. So I got it. And then that day we flew to threats birthday in Vegas. It was in Lauren was like sheep mind, you they were like this could make you sick. It's the yellow fever shot or something you can make you feel like you have also super pregnant. Yes. This is also in choose pertinent. Yes. And I thought they couldn't have kids. So that's a miracle in itself. Oh, it's amazing. So they're like you could make you sick. And she leaves the room. And I was like not in Jesus name. I'm not getting sick. Knows that I go to biggest. And I was like Lauren I got my shot. Everything's cool. And she was like how do you feel like five? This is the shot Tyler got that made him miss in award show that Tom's had to sub for him because he actually had the flu from it. Oh, I'm great. It doesn't make everyone sick. Like Cassie Kelly. Just got how you feel great. But because she's an Africa right now on her way. Yeah. Y'all Saint place. I know Lauren is taking a trip to just kind of bring people into what they're doing with love one and show him how they're changing all these kids lives, and it's incredible. What they're doing. So I I've been there. I've seen it. I tried to go this year. I wanted to go, but it was overlapping tour, and it's his first headlining tour, which is also. Yes, amazing co headlining Carly our girl Carly peers, and they both have a Russell to be soon. Hit. Yes. Every little thing. A little Fe which is sorry that they have. They thought about calling the tour that they went back and forth. Maybe do a mash up. I don't know. But it's a quick little tour. It's only four we have been as a headlining insane. From all these tours of your friends colleagues all that like he is dreamt of this for so long in in his mind. Like he designed the lights like he he had it all up here in just was like go talk about how it's going. What's the response been? It isn't saying like hill finished blue Tacoma. I cried first of all the first night because they were saying every little things so loud so loud. And I was like this isn't even like top forty. I don't think I was like what is going on in either. I mean, I looked around like, I'm not the only one here because there's plenty of shows only being like that would just stay there. Once I remember specifically in Georgia, and my brother was there and the boys had set everything up soundcheck in the no one cared. Like, no one. It was a pool hall new just me, my brother and sister in law, and we stood up. They're like dance like crazy people because we're like we're sorry. No one else's here. You know? And so I looked out and there was like over two thousand people, and I was like just I mean just to come from nothing. Yes. It just the feeling that you have to feel I'm so grateful hard work. Yes. Persistence. The faith it makes you grateful. You're not you don't resent it. You're not like a we're going. There are plenty of people were like, oh, we have to go to this station. And we are like we get to go yet. Like, you know, how long we prayed to have a conversation on radio like you kidding me. So I think the the grind, and the hustle is lends itself to so much more gratitude than anything else can -absolutely nothing against anyone. It was given to. But like it's just not going to lend itself to being really grateful because it takes a lot out of you. It is it it does it. And you have to like love this with your entire you can't half love. No, you you'll just get you won't make it. And maybe you do and then you resent it. And then it just that's not a way to live I interviewed. Jesse Alexander awhile ago. She's a huge songwriter. Awesome. And I love her. I love her so much, and we were talking about just the grind, and you know, being in the music industry. And she was like everybody will get humbled at some point, you know. And so it's just like you some people come in, and they're huge, and it's like instant. But like everybody is going to get humbled because you just it's a part of life is a part of the journey. And so like, you're saying to had all those years of grinding to know what it feels like to have no one at the shows, you know, to still have your faith or it makes it so sweet. So annual always have this appreciation to be there. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes. And amen. We said that the other day of how oh someone was just talking about artists comparing themselves to each other and feeling like there's enough room at the table. Right. And I was like we learned that lesson in a very quiet place because rust actually turned down the deal FDA took and we watch them below up in front of our faces. And at first we were like dang it. Did we make a mistake? But that was never our deal. And it wouldn't have worked for him because we didn't have crews. They had crews like just as simple as that and other XM radio deal. No, it was they're like publishing kind of label deal at at the time and still they still are with its big loud. Oh, yeah. And arrested turned down. And we were like, oh, did we make a mistake? 'cause nothing's happening for us in like we learned that was there. And yet there's no comparison. There's no you cannot be like weed. Chose to celebrate them and cheer them on. And I feel like that is such a pivotal. And I think that's why he has what he has in my opinion because he will champion everyone around him. He's not mad when someone gets something. He wants that. He's been that. And we did that in in a quiet place. We went through it. So that now we're not ruining relationships because there are some people who like kind of, you know, they're just not as welcoming or they think that they have to upstage or whatever. And we're like there's room at the table. I love what you're saying. Because like an a different way like I'm kind of career wise. And then also like I've been on a big pregnancy journey and like miscarriage, and like we tried for a long time to get pregnant and didn't happen. And it's just like I chose from the beginning that I was always going to be happy to support my friends who were having success in babies because exactly like you're saying it is so easy to want to feel sorry for yourself to get upset too. To be angry at the situation and same with like music career. Something can go so great for you and then fall apart and right enough. And it's like you're going to let your you can feel sad and upset for yourself. But to not be able to celebrate other people I feel like is such a. You're you're missing out. You really miss out on joys of life because yours will come. You know, totally oil. Come it might only come. If you choose to celebrate other people. Yeah. Only come that way. And just like when you see people who like me hard sometimes 'cause you can be really hard season of life. And yeah, everyone else can be totally flourishing around you. But still it's like you have to have that faith that what's four you will be for you. And celebrate other people. Yep. I love that. You said that because that is something I have just been noticing and thinking about all the time because when you are and heart season, you want wanna feel sad sometimes. But you're like no this not bigger than me. And totally someone else. Getting something doesn't mean you won't exactly why is that. I don't fear that every that's part of the problem with thinking like there's not enough. Right. That God is he's infinite. Yeah. Literally infinite so what he has him giving one thing to something. He's not out of it. Now, he's not running his. Short stockholders, not depleting. Like, it's he is infinite like it never ends. Like, it's all good. You know? And I think you have to realize that and believe it in order to celebrate other people. I agree the secret to life celebrating the people. A man to that. I think it is. I love that. So how do you? Okay. So when y'all were in a period where it wasn't going for you turned down an opportunity. How how did you deal with it privately? And how did you was that a decision that you made or was it just like how did you work through that? I think we kinda ran towards it. Instead of like backing away from our friendships, we ran straight to the heart of it. And we got nothing but closer with Tyler and Hayley. And I mean, we would go to their beautiful home. And then come back to our little duplex that we were renting, you know, in the replenish opportunities to be jealous, or, you know, want what your neighbor has. But we're like, no we're gonna love the crap out of them. And we're just going to be best friend and change are there. Some of our sweetest dearest. There's some of the greatest people on the planet on the planet hundred percent, like they're just wonderful people in if we would have let that come between us and resentment or whatever which I'm sure he doesn't even if he heard this. He'd be like what that was hard for you guys. Even never even talked about it because it truly we we just ran towards it. Yeah. Instead of shying away. Yeah. You're gonna love them or just gonna love him. We didn't. I really admire that I really do because that is such a incredible trait to have and it shows how much faith you have and how loving yours a human. Because that that's one of the hardest things. I mean, what is it like, it's it's one of the seven deadly sins Joe's zero, and it's like it happens everyone, especially in this industry. That's why navigating it in the way that you guys have chosen to navigate it with faith with love with, you know, just working on your self and your art in. Yeah. Celebrating everyone else like that is really inspiring. Thanks. It really is not always been easy. But it's it's worth it. It is worth it. And then look at your joyful life. Just trying to be like unicorns and rainbows over here. He makes it pretty easy to me about Europe because you own a big Europe trip. Yes, we always speaking of your guards. And you said that you were thinking Paris might let you down. But it did it did not. I thought it was going to be hype because you have this imagination in this like picture, I have so romantic, and it's gonna be this granted, I've come to learn whether determines if I like city one hundred percent, okay. So like we went to Amsterdam on this same trip. But it was rainy and it was cold in Iowa getting sick. And I I need to go back because I didn't love it. Because of that aren't feeling great someone we know when they were in Paris. It was like that. So they didn't love it. When we were there. It was like seventy every day in sunny like high of seventy so it was like fall like early fall. And it was incredible. It was incredible food. Did you eat incredible? What'd you get pasta every day go? Yes. Everything croissant is. Yeah. Macaroni muck roles. Lack roles. I don't even know we don't speak French. So the secret I will say the secret is trying to you know, everyone's like French people are so rude. They hate us baba. So we would walk around and be like do the heinous due to. And if you try to communicate in French, they will be more welcoming to you. That's what we learned. So how would you speak to them? Pose you buy we'd like do you speak English in French? Uh-huh. And then there'd be like, yes. And then they're more likely to be kind to you. Because if you walking in being like, hey, can I get assuming they speak English jerk. American yet. I think that's why because we just assume they know our language like what if one was French walked up to just started received. If you'd be like excuse me, do I look French like rent? Yeah. Yeah. But the food was crazy. We did per Cassie Kelly's recommendation. She has like everywhere. Texter? And you're like ham going here. She sends you an entire note of every location every rushing keep notes on every. Yes, every city. She's incredible goals. I call her the first lady of country music. Yes. I'm like fashionable like knows how to like accidentally flips houses like she goes. And makes them so fabulous that people come over. And they're like, I'm buying your house. And that she has to do it all over again style is just impeccable perfect. Every time just who she is. It just uses out of this. I know it's you just lay atlas but chambers is she calls everything. Fabulous favorite. I like it never used that word until I was wrong Cassie, and I'll be like, it's fabulous. Because that's what she does. She's just the best. But she has entire lists of every city. My God putting them in yelp. So I'm like trying to find a way. I don't know. There's probably a better way to do. This so comment if you know one, but I wanna start having like booklets or whatever lists in yelp. Okay. To share? I love. I don't know. If that's the thing. I started putting hers in there. And like, the ones we liked and started writing reviews and trying to have different cities that I could be like, hey, go because then when you're going to Paris, I don't know if you can do this. But you go to my profile, right? You're yelp profile. And then see what I've saved. Yeah. That'd be like, oh that one's gonna close to us. Because. With her list. I have to yelp everyone to know where to okay in find it started like putting them into digital take her list verbatim. We went to at least three of the places she recommended, and they're all just Sabio list as she said that one of them we spent the most money we've ever spent on a meal truly it was right after blue Tacoma went number one got to celebrate. Oh, yes. We hadn't done like a big celebration dinner. So we did this eight core. Stop something. What you eat everything was soft. That's a funny thing about the French. I'm like do they not have teeth like everything is like moose flaw gras like everything? Okay. Yeah. I was like if I'm going to do these things you're gonna hear that good for them. Or don't. That's good is an American version who knows they could be totally messing. You shouldn't have said that I should be more open minded. Everything like that s cargo and every little every teeny tiny portion was it all delayed. It was a little quail wing. It was like this big. And like the meat was like that. And you just it was and then all these, desserts and wine pairings, it was crazy. It was crazy. Some of the some of it was like us a little crunch. But that's what. Like all these teeny tiny, Moose's soups and everyone so teeny tiny in France. You think are they don't know. I don't know that they are. I don't think I noticed drink every fatty everything was fatty. Okay. It's like real food. I don't think it's so much true. True. And we had an Italian meal there that they wield out a whole thing of parmesan. Okay. And they like scraped it and lit it on fire and how Haas my pasta in it. And you die. Oh, there's one of the best. Like, I was like just behind Russell's head. We were in this out. It'll alley what is life. Right. That. Honestly, I would go back anytime. I was the last place. I wanted to go before we start talking about having kids because I want to go to Paris. So we're talking about having kids we're talking about. Okay. We're talking about. Hey, I like the kid combo. Oh, yeah. We're working on it. Well, we're always working about it. But we've been married five years. And that was my like I want five years of just us. Yeah. I love that. Because I wanted to know just if if anything comes whatever like, I know what is so strong intrinsically is the right word. I don't know just found that I know who we are that you can feel if it changes, I totally get that one. I've been together. Now, ten years. Yes. We had a two year break in between. But years two years. I don't think I knew that. I knew that we had a nice little break in between. That's not even a break. That's like a break up that is a break up on a break. We broke up. I moved cities and states. And I didn't know if we're gonna get back together. Get weren't you in Texas or something? Yeah. Yeah. Austin and. But I feel like that same way we have been through so much like a bit with him SU twenty one years old. I was twenty four I'm older. And we were the flip. I was twenty one Russ was twenty three I think. Okay. When we started dating I personally for me. And every story is different. I'm so glad to have gone through all of this Lisin developing together. Same even though it has been like the row kids has been in a lot of. Yeah. Wildest same. Also most exciting phases you could ever be. And because my okay we survived. So so much like we have lived through all these things that I know now when we bring a child into this world like you are saying, I know who we are through and through like, there's there's nothing you could tell me about Michael nothing, nothing that could shock me saying, you know, we're so I I know him better probably than I even know myself mostly because I'm around him be better than I. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We know how to fight with each other. Now, like learning all that fighting nice. You gotta fight. Nice. Not nice. Because in the beginning. We weren't perfect fighting me. I wasn't. Hothead? It's a learn fighting is a learned skill. Okay. So how did you learn how to fight? How do you fighting? We it is a learned skill. Yeah. It really is an involves respect I think he was so afraid of commitment, which shocks a lot of people. 'cause thank God. I'm yours. Right. But he was so afraid of commitment that I had to learn how to fight with him, really gracefully. Okay. And really more. So just disagreeing, and we couldn't have big fights because that would freak him out. Okay. So I kind of learned probably a bad trait stuff it and find a way to I would sleep on it. And I would find a way to say it kindly in the morning or like. Stuffing for a long time. No, I couldn't for too long but take ownership like really zoom out of the situation. 'cause I wasn't as emotional the next day. Very wise. Yeah. Well, I had to they wouldn't work. Yeah. And be like, all right. This is what I've done wrong. And I know that and this is what you didn't that really hurt my feelings. Anything we disagree or whatever. It's usually hurt my feelings. Okay. We don't I don't ever really get mad at him. I got mad at him one time specifically recently. So probably more times that I've just forgotten this one time. Yes. I came home. I'd asked him to do the laundry put away the laundry. Okay. Because he wanted to go work out. And I love working out them choosing. My my speaking life over this actually hate it. Choosing to start saying I love working out because I'm hoping I get there. So you love file love or cking at its I pave or if you could hear this right now. He'd be dying because he's like always convincing. I'll make you coffee. If we go work out. So in this Nereo he wanted work out. And I was like shirt, but I need you to do this because I don't have enough time in the day to do this. And then get ready for bus, call and I- birthday party tonight. So while I'm at the birthday party. I am I need you to do this laundry. And it was just putting things on hangers and high prime now more hangars because we were running low gave them all of the tools already. Alright stage was set. I come home. The hangers are in the prime now bags by the door. All the clothes are still out here. And he was playing video games in the basement tell you, I think that's I think that's guys. I lost my ever loving. Did you kind blow? Oh, yeah. Anything? No. Well, yeah. Yeah. I guess I was just so so angry 'cause I was like I do everything for us. Oh, I asked you for help once which is if you do any Graham, what are you? I'm a three three two two three Cheever helper. Yes. So like this was my to wing freaking out because now you're two innings in house. Right. So I always help him always have helped him. But that's what I love it. But I asked for help his he is a seven. That's what Michael is the day is long straight seven best day of his life. Every day up has enough energy to do everything the happiest people, they're they're really happy. But I know Michael seven two and I'm just like a thank God. You know, I'm four I am an emotional. What? I bet you have a strong three ring wing. No, yes. You're gonna Cheever achieving. I am four four four four does live and my emotions and thank God. I'm married a seven I would just be at the bottom of the crime three seven four seven is like it's like the perfect ten. Oh, I like that like in a cheek because I have the Cheever and he has the dreamer. And so I'm like, let's do this. Ron stoppable? Let's go. Okay. He has the energy that keeps me going. Yes. Like this whole thing. Anyway, my to wing to explain so when when they're in stress, they go eight so. I blew up. I didn't like him actually blow up, but I started cleaning and being loud. I got it. I was like clearly you don't like. So mad some an he never plays video games through like all the days. I never he's not that guy. 'cause I when he wanted to get an XBox. I was like gross like, I think guys like obsessive video games. It's so unattractive knows. Like do. You really want to be unattractive to me? Like, that's how I pitched. But for him. I'm actually glad he has it because he never plays it. And if he does because he's actually so exhausted that he needs something to shut his mind off allies keep dreaming and keep brainstorming, and he'd never he never sits and stops. Yeah. And so it makes them sit and stop. So he really never does that ever. And so I was like all the days. I was so so how did that one end? We went to bed angry, which did he defend his video games Ohno? He knew he definitely wrong. Yeah. Well at one point he like jump up start hanging things up. Oh, yeah. He rose to the and I was like. No, forget it. I've got. Yeah. So I go to sleep mad which said this recently on another podcast that I I think that's one of the things in the bible that I'm like I disagree with you. Because it says like don't let the sun go down on your anger. But mind, you this already down first of all. And I just have a clear head in the morning. Well, it's better not to fight when you're enrage. Oh, you know, I have learned that about myself because I get activated kind of easily. I've worked on it a lot lot therapy. A lot of self realization that like angers never good things. If I feel angry and hot that is not the time to talk about something. It is definitely not the time. And what is it's like, there's a acronym. It's like not when you're hungry. Tired halt halt angry lonely? Tired angry tired? Yeah. And I was tired. I was exhausted. It was like the week of every Christmas party every everything we'd just come off the road, we'd hosted two huge things at our house, and I have nothing left. And that's when I was like us for help once which I ask for help all the time. Just so dramatic. Like, you're not allowed to not help me. I help you all. Speaking totally crazy. It happens though. Oh, yeah. You know, it does. It was like in the I did that a bunch in this podcast. Oh, sorry. Hey, I hack all the time. Mike off. But I think that is one of the great things about marriage is. Learn each other learning you're breaking points learning how to navigate those situations and not getting lost in them. Not thinking isn't the end of the world. It's just a moment. It was moment. Next morning. The next more. It was so cute. He gave me a card and everything. Okay. 'cause I've never actually I don't think I've ever actually been mad at him. And that was the first time in five years it. Wow. So this was this was this was a moment. Yeah. Card say it was just like thank you so much for everything you do for our families. Love you so much of so sorry. You know, like like, this is maybe I should get mad at you more off so cute. I really don't get mad at him. Mostly my feeling hurt. I feel. Yeah. Because I'm pretty like, I'm pretty good at recognizing. I feel lonely. So instead of doing something to pull him in like getting upset about something. So he comes close. I just I just tell them. Yeah. I'm like, I need more of you. I haven't seen you Nuff. I feel like I'm in the background. What's your love language quality time? Okay. And so which is also why I kind of have to be on the road. Because otherwise, I don't know. I'm not words. I don't need in that scenario. I guess I would have been acts of service. Yeah. But yeah, I just like being around him in most of the time I can just be in the same orbit, and we don't have to be alone. But sometimes I do need just like any just Yoon me. Let's go for a walk. You're saying going for walk is like a key to have you marriage. It's my yeah. Thomas keesa, heavy marriage walks. Okay sex. I agree with that to some people aren't about that. But like, I mean, I totally agree with that on a very regular basis. Yes. Yeah. Oh, we have ended over this. We have where team like try for every day. I mean, well, I maybe that seven who's just having lucky joys all things in life. Michael is like down every day. Yes. Yeah. And so I'm just like, okay. Why would I fight this a because? Yeah. Fun and be it's cheaper than therapy. Cheever therapy. And keeps you so connected. Yes. It really does that drifts apart ever which ours never has. Because I just decided one day. I was like I'm gonna make this a priority. Same and we're like I heard it somewhere girls, crock pots and men are like microwaves of you ever heard that. Oh that like our? Like, our sexual everything is more of a slow steady all day kind of thing. Yes. Yes. So like if they float with us all day, and they but you just like kiss a guy for two seconds. And they're like being we're ready. You know, we're more were it's all mixed together. Can't like separate like if you were jerk early in the morning, we still feel that at night. It's guys are not as much like that in my experience. I agree. And so, yeah, if I in my if I set my crock pot too low in the morning, Mike, mentally, then when it comes time whenever we do. I'm like, yeah. I've been thinking about it of in processing, and it makes me open, and I can't stuff things because if that's going to happen. We're gonna have had a conversation if I'm upset about something. Absolutely. Makes me communicate makes him really set a mental and sweet all the time. Yeah. I mean, not all the time. But modestly a lot. I know. I think having. Sexual relationship keeps your relationship. Yeah. Healthy I feel like it's like insurance for your marriage. Okay. Wait this great. Tell me why tell me what that means. I don't know. I just feel like it helps make you invincible like you're coming. You're intentionally. You are one as a married couple. You're choosing to be one in just reiterating over and over. We are one we are one. Yeah. And I think it's great. I love that. I agree. Hey, high five great marriage sex for walks going for wall a love. Good walk. You get your communication. You get. I I like to say the shoulder to shoulder men communicate better shoulder to shoulder than face-to-face. Okay. And I get that. In my experience doesn't have read it somewhere. I can't remember super interesting girls. Like, let's get coffee. It's likes it. Yeah. Like guys if they were doing this podcast. They'd be like this because they're more open. Totally. Much. So we go for a walk and he just dreams in. I enjoyed to. We'll we'll pray while we walk because you're not just like sitting ruling bed. You're like in Jesus name. Amen. It's like that your conversation. Yeah. God, we pray for this friend who has cancer. Like, we say, no, yes. Yeah. You know, like where we'll pray for this person's marriage, or I don't know. It's more conversational doesn't end. I love that. It's great wine wine. Yeah. Also leads to the grates expert. Not too much though. Yes. Yes. He is a little wino-. I call him. Why? No. Is that like a negative turn? Well, I just I it's a thing. Now, it's even on his apps. He just puts his wine glasses and left. I was like. Oh, yeah. It's fine. It's he doesn't do the thin ones. Just to reassure everyone who gets terrified. It's going to break those out if they're like, really fine ones. He doesn't he doesn't have a certain consistency. Yeah. It has to be like thickness might indestructible. Yeah. Because but it's never too tie. Whatever. I mean, I love it. Yeah. He he liked the psalm documentaries. Have you ever watched those? Oh, SO M S. Yeah. Becoming a master small EA. Oh, and it's documentary. There's three of them now of these people trying to be masters in it is wild like they have to blind taste three whites. Three reds say what year they are where they're from. There's tundras right or thousands of one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. In regions. And there's only there's less than one hundred masters in the world. Well, so the first documentaries really cool watching that process because it's like you have to be a savant like this is not a normal person's skillset. Yeah. The funny part about is. We watched the first one when it came out on on our TV and our old apartment living next to miss, Kathy. And her cat in our little duplex drinking box wine watching this documentary about. I taste cheery law. Cardboard car tennis balls. So money we like watched and drank the cheapest wine Basel because that's all we could afford. And so then the second one came out, and we got even more we watch the second one like eight times, I watch the theirself on that second one is my favorite tells you why all of the things are as important as they are. Okay. Like, even how wine of was affected by war. And it's really cool. So anyway, it got him super into wine. So I call him Russell, dick some. Does he doesn't swirling? Which is disgusting. I like hate when people do that. But he does it every now. And then if it's a very nice wine. He loves it. It's really it's really cute. I love that very into it. And I get to reap the benefits of it. I'm like, this one's delicious. Thanks. Hey. Thanks for scoping. Yeah. Exactly. So what are your watching on that flexi says, it's not Netflix? But marvelous Mazel love love, we have two more episodes. And I like refused to watch them because I don't want it to be over. I'm just like that. I'm like it can't be up. We're catching up on. This is us because I knew you're in for that. I love it every time I'm in and I'm like, okay. Love watching this. But I have to gear up for each opposite. Yes. 'cause I know it's going to just hug all my heartstrings. Yes. Which I love feeling all the things, but he's less likely to be like, yeah. Let's watch it as a seven because sevens. Avoid pain in that show has a minute. So really hits his Mazel like the funny one, you know, he's really sweet he watches what I wanna watch. Because a lot of. I think it is kind of like a spiritual thing for me. I if it's really heavy and dark. I really really feel it. Yes. An I Mike why am I pray against all of these heavy dark things and then submitting myself to them and watching. I'm like, this makes no sense. So one day. I was like if it's not if it doesn't make me feel great. I'm not we have enough real stress in our lives. I don't eat fake stress a love that. So we're happy show people. That's how we are up being friends like religiously all should watch last night on earth. Have you seen that? Yes. It's so silly. I we kind of back up it kinda took a little getting a little more intense. But like Michaels same say that I was the best pilot ever seen of last man on earth. He's like bowling with cars are blowing up. Yeah. That's one of my favorite pilots of all time. We watched the whole first season. And then I think we lost interest in the second. Yeah. It's kind of cheesy. But it's Michael Sam we remind me of January dunes. Okay. Great. Thanks. Yeah. She's a babe. Okay. So obviously, I want to talk to you forever. But I have to two baths, call and there's laundry and all sorts. Yeah. Honey, Honey, but I like to leave all my leave your light. So just obviously your super inspiring this all's inspiring. But what do you want people to know? What's a message? You wanna speak into people? Ooh. That. Just love people love them hard. And well in intentionally and I personally think being known is even better than being loved because in our culture. Everything is just like, oh, I love you love you love you. But like nothing communicates love like actually investing in people in knowing them and knowing them well and in turn you're loving them. Well, I love that investing in people invest in people. Do you invest in a lot of people or do you are you? I it in. Yeah. I used to do a lot L A's helped your in that in. Yes, that's part of the reason the apartment visit just to have alone time and not say yes to everything. Yeah. You said a quote like if you say, yes, everything is because you're not learning. How to prioritize your nose or something? Yeah. Yeah. Just because you're. I forget exactly what it was. But if you're saying, yes, everything is only showing that you don't know how to say no something to that effect. Like, I I had to really learn that. Yeah. 'cause one day I woke up, and I realized I was like I've gone to coffee eight times this week in every single time. I was helping someone and it was not reciprocated. Yes. And I was like, okay. That's the two wing. I enjoy it. But you can't eventually. But then I realized I hadn't seen my very best friends the ones who don't need me. Yes. In the best way. Is there sip Rakha friendships? Yes. And I was like dang like, I really need reprioritize my life. And so I my circle got smaller and smaller and unless it's reciprocal like it really doesn't get much because there's not much of it left. I think that's so important. I feel like I've been that same way. I was of of always loved to be social, no, everyone love everyone. I hit a breaking. Point in the past couple of years. I'm like, I am tired. Like, I love knowing so many people and being in community. But saying it's like, you just wanna pour yourself into the relationships that really. That are lifelong. Yeah. Aren't like. And if someone comes around and totally and it's great. But it's like I'm not seeking that out like they used to. We had so many people live with us. Stay with us who needed us like those were beautiful times. But all of a sudden one year, I was like at season's done. Yeah. And that was the beginning of this last year in ever in thank God. Because if I had we had nothing left on we were so exhausted that if we were banking on anything in return from these people, we would have been screwed. Like, not the people who stayed with us. But the ones who always needed our time. And yeah, we really had to rein it. And I love that. Yeah. I love you. You're still wise girl. I love you. I love you. I'm serious. I love you so much little miss sunshine over here got well. I have a rain cloud to I have my number four like my four is like it's a secret raincloud there. Well, I haven't seen it. I worked on it a lot. Because like, I'm just I'm a romantic that's forest. So I get so lost feelings I've had to learn how to separate them all and realize like not get like goat on the landslide with them. And that's my thirties. I will say I've gotten a lot better like therapy. And Michael there may there be. Feel everything to the bottom like now. But when I feel something and like affects me, I have to go to the bottom so hard this feel it feel and that's why I can recover quickly from things like some people something will hit them, and it will take them years to process or like months for me. I'm like in it all the way down immediately like there, and then I just figure out how to get out of it. So it's really intense, but fast, that's good. That's a good thing. You know, how to do that? It's also psycho because like five polar sometimes. Oh, yeah. We'll have freaking Levy thank you for joining coming over. Yes. Love it. I found the road. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode with Kaley Dickerson. She is such a bright light love her so much next week. I have one of my dearest in oldest friends that I've had a Nashville we've been friends for almost ten years. Maybe more Kelly Lin Janssen, she's married to Christian since she is a hoot a wild woman. She's awesome. She's Chris's wife manager, they have two kids together. Plus her two older kids who Chris calls his bonus children their story. Their life is amazing and inspiring. So get excited for Kelly. Lynn johnson. We'll see you next week.