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Become Fluent in Body Language


Welcome to ignore point the show. That's here to help you take the leap Caulker week. And chief your goals. If you're looking to amplify your mindset with fresh perspective and spark momentum you're in the right place. Hey, what's going on? I'm Stephen Miller. Thanks for joining me for another edition point the show, where we feature a re-imagined motivational address, or exclusive guest keynotes helped spark the momentum you need to empower another winning week. Last week, I got to meet with one of the guests, you'll hear from in an upcoming episode test out how to best present their topic on the show, the normally speak for large audiences, so shifting to a single Mike in a recording. Studio was a bit of a test to our surprise. The delivery was staggeringly different when the guest was sitting down to talk about it versus when they stood up to present it like they do on stage. You may not see why that's a big deal but it's kinda crazy. They're energy was totally different their confidence went through the roof. And they're often Tissot really resonated. It was absolutely nine-day, all because they changed their body language. Now you're probably wondering how in the world can make that much of a difference in the recording when you can't hear what their bodies doing. It's a great question. So seamy after the episode for high five, but it's the funniest part about body language the way we incorporate body language influences the way we communicate verbally. It. Impacts our tone, the cadence with which we speak, and the presence we apply. So have you paid enough attention to how your body language affects the way you communicate thing about it for a second? Even if you've given the topic, some TLC, it's something everyone can improve on. Well, everyone except for Justin Timberlake, and Chikira, in fact, Shaquir is developed a reputation for having hips don't lie. But if you considered the yours don't either they don't because your body language is always communicating your unspoken truth. If you're in a bad mood, you communicate that by slouching, if you're having a great day, your more expressive and energetic in the way you move you need to control your body language and use it to your advantage. So with the help of this week's monologue. Let's get to know our bodies a little better. Get your mind out of the gutter and let's get after it. I want to start by offering you a free life hack before I give this life hack away. I wanna ask you to do a little audit of your body and what you're doing with it. Are you sort of making yourself smaller maybe you're hunching over or crossing your legs? Sometimes we hold onto our arms. Sometimes we spread out, I want you to pay attention to what you're doing right now. I'm hoping that if you learned tweak this a little bit. It could significantly change the way your life unfolds this life hack is to change your posture for two minutes. I'm really fascinated with body language, particularly other people's body language, you know, in awkward interaction or a smile or a contemptuous glance or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe something like a handshake, a handshake or the lack of a handshake can. Has talking for weeks. Obviously, when we think about nonverbal behavior or body language. It is language. So we think about communication, when we think about communication, we think about our interactions. When we think of nonverbal communication, we think of how we judge others how they judge us. And what the outcomes are we tend to forget the other audience that's involved, and influenced by our non verbals, and that's our selves. Our thoughts. Feelings physiology is are influenced by our non verbal communication. So what non verbals might talking about. Well, I'm especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance. Okay. But what does that mean? Well, in the animal kingdom, these expressions, materialize, when animals make themselves bigger. So think of a bear standing up on their back legs and raising their arms up. This is true across the animal kingdom, and humans do the same thing, the human quivalent might be something like spreading our belongings out in a public place. Here's a great example, people who were born with sight, and people who are blind, celebrate the same way when they win a physical. Competition when they cross the finish line. And they've won a race. It doesn't matter if they've never seen anybody do it be raised their arms up in a v and slightly with their chin. When we feel powerless, we do the exact opposite. We close up. We make ourselves small and we avoid physical contact both animals and humans do the same thing when you put a high power person and a low power person together, they tend to do the opposite of the other person's actions. If someone is being really powerful with us. We don't mirror them. Instead, we make ourselves smaller. Here's another example use mile when you feel happy, but also you're forced to smile when you hold a pen in your teeth, and that actually makes you feel happy, it goes both ways when it comes to power, it goes both ways to. So it's possible that when you pretend to be powerful. You're more lie. Likely to actually feel powerful. I tested this out by having some people. Adopt for two minutes either high power pose or low power pose. I wanted them to be feeling power. So for two minutes, they'd standard oppose where they'd flex their muscles, or STAN leg triumphant superhero, then I asked them about how powerful they felt I found that when you're in that high power pose eighty six percent of the time you'd feel the confidence to take risks when you're in the low power pose. Only sixty percent of the time you take a risk has a really significant difference. If you're into the science that backs this up the high power people experienced about a twenty percent increase in test Osterode while low power people experienced a ten percent decrease. All it takes is two minutes. Two minutes led to these hormonal changes. Two minutes makes the difference between being assertive confident and. Comfortable were really stressed out and feeling sort of shutdown. So our body language, really does make a big difference in determining how we feel. And think about ourselves not just others. The next question is can power posing for a few minutes. Really change your life in meaningful ways. And where can you apply it? I decided that a job interview was the most reliable place. So you're probably saying, okay, struggle, high power pose. When you go in for a job interview, right? Well, that's not exactly what I mean, this is not about you talking to other people. It's about you talking to yourself. Think about what you typically do before you go into the interview you're sitting down. You're looking at your phone. You're looking at your notes. You're hunched over and making yourself. Small really what you should be doing is the opposite in private. Right. Find two minutes and do that. I tell people that our bodies change our minds. Our minds can change our behavior and our behavior can change our outcomes. But some say to me that feels fake, I tell them all than fake it till you make. You don't realize it. But you say rarely gets you high marks. It's how you say it. It's about your presence. It's about bring your big ideas. But bringing your ideas in a way, it's offense confident captivating, and comfortable tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So take two minutes before you go into your next stressful situation for just two minutes. Try power posts in the elevator in a bathroom stall at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you wanna do configure your brain to own that situation. Don't leave the situation feeling like oh. I didn't show them who I am leave the situation feeling like I really feel like I got to show them who I am in IT crushed it, try power posing ensure the science because it's just that simple. Find two minutes and significantly changed the outcomes in your life. I was taught to be conscious of my body language when I was growing up, but I never considered there might be a scientific component that might prove the importance, the data in the monologue shows, there's real value to controlling your body language, but don't overlook the other person you interact with by focusing only on the way you communicate by now? You've probably heard the expression communication is a two way street from every member, your family and all your friends, but the age old expression holds true with non verbal communication to I even argue that its values equal to or greater than learning a second language. In fact, at the time of this recording Rosetta Stone babble and duo lingo, don't offer any equals in body language, so this week's three action strategies are your exclusive crash? Course we're going to begin the same way most language courses do by laying foundation in body language this. Arts with you thinking more actively about what you do when you're communicating self-awareness is the key. But it can be tricky to get the hang of it, if you can't naturally tell what your body language communicating there a couple of things you can try if you're at a point in your life where you're giving lots of presentations, you can set up your phone in an empty room and record yourself, presenting save that recording and review it after each take. If you're not interacting, or engaging with others, too often, you can try taking phone calls with friends and family in front of a mirror after a handful of calls, you'll start to pick up on how your conversations affect your demeanor, these applications, probably seem super awkward, but they allow you to see what you're doing when you're communicating. And that's what you're aiming for, so how's your posture would facial expressions? Are you making what are you doing with your hands, or your legs restless crossed or firmly? Planted in place. You want to train your brain to pick up on. On what you're doing so that it can align your speech with your physical expressions. If you feel like you're embarrassed trying to up your body language awareness, consider this example when you're making a first impression the majority of what you communicate is read through your body, not your words, first impressions or something, you need to get right? Because when you create a negative first impression it's almost impossible to come back from don't drop the ball, just because you're not willing to be aware of what your unspoken truth says about you. You need to be willing to understand how you're coming across to ensure that your message is received by someone you're meeting for the first time once you have a better understanding of your own body language, you can then start to use tear advantage and apply. The lessons we covered in the monologue. If you're headed into a tense, conversation strike of a power pose privately as a mental preparation to increase your confidence, and your presence, if you're having a rough day in, you determine your mindset around maybe try holding a pen between your teeth for wall to force you to. Mile when you're aware of your body, language employing, these tactics becomes easier to execute on, but it may also make you feel fake, or in authentic. So let's talk about that in the monologue. We said the way to overcome. This is to fake it till you make it but you probably don't want to get to the place. You wanna be only feel like you're not supposed to be there. This concept is formerly called imposter syndrome or the untrue belief that you're not good enough to be up front. I'm not a social psychologist. That's not my area of expertise. But this seems to be a specific type of fear driven by the fact that we spend too much time making a list of our own weaknesses as I said, in an earlier episode fear stands for false expectations appearing real what you communicate doesn't determine your value here. So if you communicate effectively and get where you want to go in life. I wanna remind you. That it is because someone sees the strengths you possess, not the weaknesses. You think you have this is the moment that power posing can really help you when you're feeling down on yourself, change your posture? Pull your shoulders back and strike that power pose now that you're self aware and you've practiced using body language to improve your mindset, your final action item of the week is to turn your attention to, whoever you're interacting with listen to the other person's words study their body language and trust your intuition. What are they actually communicating? Try paying attention to their contact. And the way they position themselves while speaking with you, if you check in on these factors from time to time you'll be able to tell if they're intimidated withdrawn, overwhelmed, and you can then modify your own body language, accordingly to put them at ease or make them feel comfortable. Remember body language is practically. Hardwired into the human species. So if the person you're interacting, with is coming across in a way. It's familiar to you. It's because you've felt that way to identify what the feeling is and us that clue for context when determining the course of the conversation. Remember the process of learning body language can be awkward at times, so be willing to laugh about it. When you feel like it's getting really really weird just embrace the lyrics. John Mayer made famous your body's a wonderland. So put your strategies for success into action and become fluent in body, language, Starbucks becoming aware of your non verbal communication than strike power pose to let your actions influence your mindset and studied the body language of the people you interact. With most you've got two years to is and one mouth for a reason. So observe and listen to those, you communicate with two times more than you, speak and make. For that missing half by tying in your body language, ignition point is all about making a positive impact so please share the show with someone you think it would help your feedback help significant points to keep moving forward. So semi an Email to Stephen at decisive leap dot com or writer of you for the show on apple podcasts to let me know. You think we hold out until the end of each show to share who inspired each week's ignition point for two reasons to keep you curious and remind you to focus on the motivation? This week's ignition point was adapted from any cut his Ted talk at Ted global twenty twelve. It doesn't matter where you come from every day is a new opportunity to become a better version of yourself where you're going is what matters. So stay motivated and keep moving forward. If you put in the hard work right now, one day, you could be the one motivating the world with your story. I'll be looking forward to speaking with you next time on another ignition point. Now get on out there and win the week.

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