J. J. Abrams
I don't know how other people with podcast SAR. That's their business. But I really care about our sponsors I do. I really think about them a lot. And you know I think about state farm sometimes and I think I admire those state farm people but what is it about them. I admire. I'll tell you. What it is their tagline like a good neighbor state farm as there. That's how I say it just makes you feel good and then I was thinking about it. They have nineteen thousand agents helpful agents. Can you imagine that having nineteen thousand agents isn't it that's like more than the FBI has yeah it is. It's incredible more than the. Tsa We should solve crimes. They should what are they doing in the insurance kidding? They should be out there solving crime state farm. Anyway the best neighbors invisible neighbor if you ask me what it doesn't blend anyway. I use their APP state farm right SONAL. Yeah you use it all the time. Good job state farm. Like a good neighbor state farms online. I was thinking about. Which article of clothing is most important to me and I immediately went to? It's obvious socks right obvious. Okay you cannot wear underwear. I often do that and it's fine. You cannot wear pants. I've done that and there's trouble with the police but whatever you deal with it you get lawyers involved in. It's all straightened out socks. Your feet are your point of contact with mother Earth and you need your feet as comfortable and protected as possible. So it's all about the socks baby. I've said that since day one and if you're GONNA get the best socks. Hey what are we talking about? Bomba makes the most comfortable socks in the history of feet and I know the history of feet I studied. I majored in feet in college. I studied the history a feat literature involving feet film involving feet. Mostly Tarantino's work and it's all about Bombay's thought into what goes into a good sock bomb-blasted didn't thing. They sent us some socks soon. As you get those bonds I sure did and I was supposed to give them to you of course and I kept them of course and they're fantastic. They're really great socks. I love wearing them. They're cushioning there. They were supportive. They're do Sono does usually take the things that are meant for me but they actually sent some large socks. I have large feet size twelve thirteen and just throwing that out there and why large man large feet a anyway. I have large feet and there was some socks that you didn't take a and I took them and they're fantastic. They're great very very well. Made Very cushioning. They do more to keep your feet cozy. They help give back to the most vulnerable members of our community. That about Obama's for every pair of socks you purchase bumps donates a pair to someone in need which is oh. I didn't know that that's nice. Yeah the generosity. Obama's customers has allowed them to donate over thirty four million pairs of socks through their nationwide network of over three thousand giving partners. The impact more powerful than ever to those experiencing homelessness. These socks represent the dignity of putting on clean clothes and that is of course of great importance to give people in that situation some comfort so give a pair when you buy a pair and get twenty percent off your first purchase at Bombay Dot com slash Conan. That's B. O. M. B. A. S. dot com slash Conan for twenty percent off Bombay's dot com slash tonen. My name is J.J. Abrams and I feel exceedingly. Lucky being brunch friend the back to school issues on the phone. Hey there welcome to Conan. O'brien needs a friend. Podcast that's chugging along even through this quarantine this global pandemic were still trying to get you. Whatever it is we provide. I honestly have no idea what this is but whatever this is we're doing our best to keep providing it. It's probably masks. Medicines would be much more useful but this is what we have and we're going to keep making it for you until the government stops us and joined as always by my trustee assistance son Assessment Hazanah. Hello Hi you're coming to assert from your home. In a very rural part of California known as El to Dina. It's not rural very rural. Very far from me. No was there other houses there. When you when you intact found that place where there other people there. Yes would you really? So it's an entire city. It's a neighborhood. It's tense mostly tents and people have staked out their property and other destroying to build like in the old west who has contempt for houses. That are just far away from him. Place it's just because it's far from you. I'M THE CENTER K. A. New are far from me. It's that Old Classic. New Yorker cartoon you know there's just Manhattan and lose the rest of the world. They should do that. It's just Coenen then way off in the corner. There's some frizzy hair on the horizon. Mind come on Matt Gourley. You're here as well Matt. Good to see you. Hi we're all everybody's safe everybody taking care of themselves I'm thriving. Everything's supposed to say that right now. I think it's supposed to say I'm fine. I'm holding up well but you're not supposed to say I'm thriving right well during the pandemic world aside. I. I'm in my element. 'cause you like this you like being in your home with all the stuff you love your. Banjos and my model airplanes. It's coming along pretty nice. My stop with camel made of Balsa wood from the gallows Balsa Wood Kit company anyway. Why go on at length? We're here. We're making these shows and we're having a good time. I I have to say I prefer being in the room with you guys and with our guests but this is pretty good. I've been surprised at how well this is working. I wasn't sure this would work out. There's a lot of technical challenges we spend about half an hour before each podcast session adjusting dials and KNOBS and trying to get the right levels. Yeah and you're doing very well except there's one more improvement we need to make. Well I'm sorry to see you go no I am. We're GONNA miss you but I'm sure hard to find someone else with. Your ECLECTIC TASTES FIFTIES TELEPHONES. But anyway no go ahead. Well how can? What can we do to make this better? I want it to be better. Well you're doing it right now. You are talking into the side of the microphone. And there's a big plus of problem with your ps 'cause I take them all out in post production but I I asked you to talk your microphone and I want to show you this picture. Okay first of all you're talking not even into the top edge of the microphone. You've got it like over your face from the side and then there's a giant blue light on you you look like braveheart or Jemma. Holograms or this photo up. Well first of all. That's not a blue light. I think I had a Hematoma had a cerebral hemorrhage and bravely went on during the podcast. So I guess eggs on your face as for talking. I don't I think this is my subtle way of showing contempt for this medium. Yeah I think so. Do you see how the Mike is not in front? Okay all right. Let me tell you something. I I set myself up for this. I know we're not gonNA do the old I get you get me. We're not going to do that. We're not going to become the BICKERTON. I do take direction. Well my whole life. People have clipped a microphone when I mean people. There's fifteen people that clip on microphone to my tie. I don't know why takes fifteen. It's a union thing and it's it's fourteen people holding one person but they bring them over and they clip it onto my Tyson. I've never really had to deal with microphones this way so I apologize. If I've caused you extra work but right now you sound perfect. You've done it were there. Peter Piper picked peppers did Peter piker pit Now what happens when you go through? What is it you do? I'm curious to know how you contribute. I know it's a mystery to me I. This is great for me to know what you do. So what does it other than being one of two members of the heart and soul of this podcast other than glare at me while sewing? Alas fills the air with rich tones. It you do you take out hard p Sam might so. That's what you do like if the cops pull you over there like Sir you're GonNa have to step out of the car. You realize going seventy five. Yeah I'm sorry. Officer tell us what's your name. My macro what are you do? I remove the plums from the photo. Radio show more of a podcast. If you will God sorry man. Last week we got along so well. We're on the same team our back into it. I'm having a nose bleed. This is what happens when you criticize one. Little thing about Conan's doing hey just criticized. He had a picture ready. And he put it up to try and sway the jury. In a way that I thought was unfair. You came at me with photographic evidence and when you do that I have to come back with my full nuclear and make sure that you can never attack again. The only way the only way for me to be safe. Look how Glam Rock you looking photo. Though I know will post this on my instagram or instagram. You know what I think that might be. They gave me this ring. Light that I use for the show. No isn't it the power indicator on the Marco Year. It's AIDS this Blue Lights. The blue light that's shows how close you are to this. I thought we were supposed to bathe ourselves in the Blue Light. It prevented skin cancer. So that's why I've been getting in so close is to save my life. Yeah that's inside of your face is completely freckle free. Now you look like a reverse to face right now I just know I and Matt I please. I think it goes without saying you do an enormous amount of work on this podcast. I value all that you do and my lawyer just called and wrote wrote that out for me I wish you well in all future endeavors there. I'm done let's get on these wars. That's worse than when he isn't worse. Yes don't always says the worst thing I do is apologize. Say now. It's so now I really I really do value and you really are a great bridge. She can't handle it. No it's awful. 'cause you're holding your breath for what's coming next. Yea It's not genuine and it's it is January January you know genuinely value both of you. I think you guys stop it. Stop this stop it. It's worse it's hey guys. Can I say one thing? Since we're on the on the topic of Mike this is Mr will becton and will know again. No idea what you do. An engineer of some sort believe is that right. Yes yeah and you look like you just escaped from a cult that you started. That's the only I'd be a part of the just one thing as an aide. Sona is a natural as far as Mike Technique. So of course you just look at some distance and also because her voice is like in the pattern of what the MIC picks up. Well first of all we should tell people sooner. Doesn't use a Mike Mike Guy? Her voice is so loud that she just heard speaking and everyone can register it. You've been in on television. For how long using microphones podcasts are completely different kettle of fish? That's a whole yeah. It's a whole new terrain filled with Sealife now you've I've seen you hold. So many microphones in the worthing. It's different. This is a very intimate medium. I want people to get to know me so I want to almost have the microphone inside me all of my God okay. We need to wrap. You can't say thank you for the note everybody and we will. I will take that note and I will do better next time. Thank you for the note given to me publicly photographic too graphic evidence on the podcast. I guess is what you want. Sure thanks that and in the future. That's how I'll address you guys as well once you learn how to take scratch on my God. Direct hit directed. Wow Wow that was Galicia's have you guys watch the movie goodfellas. Oh No do you remember when they're all playing poker and spider who's played? This is exactly how I felt coming into this podcast. The first season I felt just like spider where I was going to go go. Fuck Yourself. Spider Spider get drinks. And He's played beautifully by after the Sopranos. Michael Imperial very early. He takes all this shit from Joe Patchy and then finally. He sells him to go. Fuck himself or in this case Hey you speak into the MIC wrong. And you can't take a screen shot and everyone else laughed. So Sodas Deniro laughing and everyone's laughing like oh who alright spider. Good for use by spiders fucking and Pepsi's doing what I did remaining perfectly silent and just staring staring at Mike Imperial early. If you don't know what happens next you should watch the movie. I'm not joking. I thought about that the first season I felt like. Oh my God. Yeah that reminded me of that. Yeah jopacks she is intimidating. She despite herself. I hate it here on this. Oh Man I'm better than you microphones taking away from all I am. I have designed a special world that I can get inside of even during a pandemic and be humiliated. All right. We we I I deserve all of that. I am a tech Moron but ended monster That's not fun when you do that. I know I know it's funny. I don't even mean it. I mean a monster. Wait Look Genius. Genius or difficult. Listen Mesa's hurry up. Let's get to it Mozart anyway. Oh my God not an easy guy anyway here. We go often difficult Michael Jordan. Not An easy guy. Okay here we go. Wow I'm Jordan sneakers here. We go my guest today. He's an extremely talented filmmaker. Behind some of the biggest movies and television shows of the past two years including lost Star Trek Super Eight and star wars. The Force Awakens. He also happens to be an incredibly lovely and funny human being very excited to talk to him today. J.j Abrams welcome. We've known each other. I remember exactly the first time I talk to you and you could not have been nicer. It's when I was. I think second time I was hosting the EMMYS. I called you up because I had an idea of jumping through the different shows and I wanted to start on lost. And someone said just called J.J. Abrams and I remembered. Saying I can't just call J.J. Abrams Hannah said Yeah you can It never occurs to me that I might be able to do that. You do though and you can copyright and I well I. It's a whole other story. That's a whole therapy session. But I called you and you not have been nicer and you said yes Yes of course we'd love to do this segment and I'd like to direct it and I I was on cloud nine. That was really fun by the way it was fine was I. It was really fun and then I'm going to be honest with you. I thought I've just been directed by J.J. Abrams. This is going to lead to a lot of film of Vast Tundra. That's what happens when people working in good company. My friend J.J. Abrams killed my film career. And this led. This is where I really WANNA began. I understand you are you are at the top of your game I absolutely adore your work. You understand you've worked with just monumental iconic figures like a Harrison Ford Multiple Times. You know what a movie star looks like. What am I missing is? The Lips are the lips too thin. It's the is isn't it it's the beatty it's the tone of voice. You're being really hard on yourself for the first time ever I. If you really cared about me you'd be honest and you'd say look cone and you have certain qualities that have helped you in the business. It's the lips. It's the vein near Your I. It's the really nasal tone. I'll be going to be honest with you. It's the vein New Year. Yeah what the. What the Hell Are you talking? I'm talking about a very very prominent ivy and I have translucent ir skin and I have a easy calling in vain. Yes yes thank you for minute. I was like what's sonal. Jj I have a prominent vein. Oh my God it's horrific okay. All right take it easy so horrific when you see an old lady at the beach and her and her leg is just a massive vein going down. The side. Like vericose veins varicose vein. I have giant old ladies leg varicose vein running under the my high my right. I've never a never noticed that that's GonNa see well it Po- sates when I'm enraged and you've never ever I. I remember the first time I saw you and I went to one of your tests shows when you were first doing your first series and Tom. Selleck was the test guest on in this test show. It's all a blur to me but yeah okay I know but I just I I will never forget it and it was It was you know this was going to be the new guy. It was taken over like who? Who's WHO's this guy and you came out and even in that tests show. I just remember you. You killed it and it was this thing of getting to see something before anyone else saw it and we got. I don't even know how we got tickets and we got to go and it was really Super Fun and I just feel like Oh my God. This guy is going to be the new guy. And that's that's so sweet that was now. Let's not like twenty almost twenty eight years ago hard to believe or twenty seventy seven years ago. It's amazing that I'm still in my forties and the point is that I remember about those shows. I think we did ten tests shows and they were either great or they were horrific. So I'm glad you saw. I saw good one. You saw a good one because and then The show Was all over the map for the first year or so but We steadied the ship. And we feeling like when you first were going out there doing that. Like in the test shows him before you went on air. It was a mixture of either and this is the most honest answer I can give either complete lack of confidence and a feeling that I'm complete fraud or total now. I'm going to do this because this is God's will kind of confidence and I don't understand it would vacillate between the two of them and I still have an I. I've talked to other people. It's not completely uncommon. I wouldn't say the extremes are that great but I still have moments of. I can't do this. I'm not going to be any good at this. This is terrible idea. This is a mistake and I need to call the person and talk them out of me doing this event. Because I'm not to be it's not gonNA work or aren't they lucky that they get to see I don't understand? I don't understand that brain chemistry. That is weird. I think it's probably I think that they're both necessary. Ingredients to be able to have the kind of audacity to think you're you're going to be able to and you're worthy of entertaining people and the ability to be someone in the audience to have that to be able to jump into the you know the the observer point of view and right which of course means you can't be also the person on and in those moments it's like what the Hell am. I doing the assuming I can be the goes up and does it. Well you're a perfect person to talk about this because you have taken on these responsibilities that I can't even imagine I've done some things that are scary and my life as a performer or a comedian things that have really terrified me things that I look back on the money go. Wow that was that was intense but I think about you having to curate coordinate Be At the very center of these massive productions and I think I would wake up at night and in my case justifiably so I wake up and think this is. How is this happening? How can this happen? I don't know if you ever have moments as J.J. Abrams where you say. I'm directing Harrison Ford in Star Wars. I this was an iconic movie. That helps you know launch my interest in film and now. I'm here doing it. And he has to do what I tell him to sit for. He's or he's fired. That's I mean. Had you have moments where you step outside yourself and Vallejo? I think it happens all the time. I there have been moments where I've I remember. We're shooting on in the First Star Trek movie. We did and there. Was this one scene where there is this group of what were meant to be these really bad scary guys and I sort of cast all these. These ball guys. We had tattoos on their faces. And they you know okay this is GonNa be interesting looking. It'd be kind of cool. And the character of a captain of this ship was coming over Captain Ribao and on that day I realized. Oh God he's also Bald completely bald man. I have all these These guys and I looked at the bad guys and I realized they looked like they were sort of a like a boy band like Cape hops. And then I looked at the at the captain and I just and I broke into this crazy sweat and I and I was like you know so. Are you ready? I'm like NOPE and I. I walked away and I was like I walked behind the set and kind of walked around by myself. Just in this panic like what the fuck am I gonNa do to make any and it was this crazy. You know moment and it's just one of dozens that I can think of where I I was justifiably in a state of kind of near. Oh my God. This is the other shoe drops. This is the moment when not only I but everyone finally realizes that. There's a reason I should be doing this and it was it. It's it's you know those those happen all the time. I'm a big Fan of that movie and I. I love your fix for that. Was To have all the other bulb. Guys where mets caps to offset them. I just thought mets fans yeah and I had to say it took me out of the moment for a second and then you just got right past it you know. It's another thing because I try very hard. I'm very impressed by what you do. And I'm very impressed. I think a lot of it or a piece of it. Is You do it very well but I also don't understand it. I fundamentally don't understand what it is. Everything I do is very immediate. I go out and do it in its immediate and at and then it's there it's good medium bad we fix it if we can but then we move on and I'm thinking of you being involved in these projects that take a year and a half two years and there's so much time to massage to try and figure something out in editing that I would feel that you could get lost. I would just. I don't understand how you don't get completely lost in the process. It's a weird thing. Is You know obviously Doing what you do and having you know worked at SNL and like you know where it is literally you know live and happening in the moment and then things like the simpsons where it's it's you know a year and a half before you see the the animation and you you've you've worked in all sorts of things and obviously going off and doing remotes and things you know you. You Be Eve experienced everything that I've experienced in just slightly different ways and I would say that for me. It's it's never live. Tv It's never happening you real time but the truth is that that its seat of your pants and usually on something whether it's Star Trek or star wars movie. Those are movies where you rarely read a a header for a senior Interior hardware store day. It's always exactly and doesn't exist on the planet are too so it was buying house. Paint kept smart. Need some talking for the bathroom. Which is seen by the way those things don't happen so you're always looking at like. How do we even begin to imagine where this thing would ever take place? How does it look? And and as big as the crew may be as large as the production is It's always the thing that makes it work is that you're working with people who are great. The the the people you can rely on who are as freaked out as you are and have their own moments of. I'm not worthy all the time as well but are looking at you as you're looking at them like we you know. How are we GONNA do this? We're GONNA figure it out together and you know. I don't know what kind of you know cojones so I think I have to be able to say yes to things that were. I'm like there's an audacity. They're I. I feel as maybe mental illness. That's what I wanted to get to is is your mental illness and And and this is really the point. This is more of an intervention. I think the PODCAST. But when you when you think about it what I do relate to and I try to convey this to people say yes first and then figure it out but I used to believe I'm was raised to be very responsible and I was raised to be. You know. Only say yes. If you really know you can do it. And that you're going to be there and you've thought through and all the pivotal moments in my life have been. Hey can you do this thing And I just something in me said yes When I had no idea how I was going to do it. And yes if you sat with a rational team of people and said they want this star wars movie that should take twenty four months to do. They want it in thirteen months and There is one hundred fifty million moving pieces. Let's rationally think this through logical people would say it can't be done but all the good stuff gets done that way. I I think that that's true. And it's it's part of the fun but it's not you know it's not necessarily meant to just be about the fun and you know. I think it depends what the thing is if someone someone says listen you know we you perform his heart surgery. It's like yes it's like there are certain stakes that I think like I need to realize at a certain point. There are things that are important that I got lucky. You know on the first couple of movies I did. The mission impossible three and star trek the first one we did. And so when we for example when we shot the Star Trek Movie. You know the first one. We didn't do any re-shoots at all the only thing we added during the mix. I filmed. There's a kid driving a car in the beginning of the movie. You have young Kirk. I went on the we went on the roof of the parking structure at Fox and I filmed the kid close ups of him driving. Didn't feel like we had enough of that. That was the entire re-shoot for the Star Trek movie again. Obviously in in this moment now you know who knows post covert nineteen who knows sort of how and what that will look like and I do think that once once. This lifts think we've revert. I just I just think we do and I think that What what do you think does carry over like in terms of Because you know there's obviously a lot of people who are obviously struggling and it's that's awful and then a lot of people just sort of getting by and doing okay and different people have different versions of struggle. But you know everyone seems to have some version of that. There's an aspect of this. That is making them reexamine things and I just wonder like what people will be taking into. You know postcode life that they've you know they learned. I have a theory that we are going to. I know myself and I think is true of. I think it's true of a lot of people. I so appreciate now. I so appreciate all the people in my life that I work with because I love working with people I've always liked Being in the mix and being around a lot of people and in your work. You're you're collaborating with a lot of really funny. Smart Sharp people very talented people and I am going to try to hang onto that appreciation for as long as I can after. This lifts part of me suspects because I'm a human being a revert with after a six month period And it was just talking about that with with Judd. Appetite about that about two. Suhel like you know people. It will just snap back to whatever bad habits. I don't know where you were living at after When nine eleven occurred I was living in Manhattan into my wife and I would go to restaurants and this is the days after nine eleven and you know the the waitress would come over and we'd say sit down and and the groups of people that were with. I was with if they would the the waiter the manager people would come and sit down with us. We were all saying how are you? Where do you live you okay? It was really beautiful. I remembered it lasting like three weeks and then I saw people you know lifting up their credit card and dropping behind their back as if to say. If you don't catch this by the time it hits the floor missy there's no tip for you like I mean I don't know I hope that will will i. I hope that we'll do better. I think I'm a little not sure not sure that we will. I do think we will probably revert in a lot of ways. I guess like that to be what we take away from this podcast with J. J. is human beings are terrible. Jj's mentally ill. Human beings are bad and My film career has been ruined by. My pulsating varicose vein. You know what it fascinated me and I I love. You've had this insane success in film but you came at TV initially and it really was a love of television. And we've talked about this but we're both lovers of nineteen sixties television and for you. It was the twilight zone. And Yeah I love the twins and It was such I later. Learned much more about Rod Sterling because Rod serling was the guy who would if you're listening right now and you're you're not familiar with that show. It was such a such an iconic show and it was hosted by this brilliant guy named Rod Sterling. He would come out at the top of the show and then introduce you to this tale and you never knew. The rest of television was predictable because nobody died no regular cast member died on a regular episode of TV. Show in this in a twilight zone. Anything could happen. And you'll get an you'd really get invested in it. And as I've looked more and more into Rod Sterling. I've found out he was this fascinating man who I believe was key and coming up to like the ending of planet of the apes is that true or is that he's been legend. He wrote the The the he was one of the writers of the trump Heston feature and That was his ending. The the set of liberty ending was not in the novel was it was originally a French novel. But but he he he was an amazing guy and he actually didn't live far from from here from where we live in and he His his wife. I got to know Carol who sadly passed away a few months ago She was an amazing woman. And I remember reading that Rod Sterling would dictate his scripts as opposed to sitting at a at a typewriter and so one day. I I asked Carol. If she had any of the recordings she said Oh yes as like what you could you. Could you send me what she had? One that was there was digitized and she sent it to me on a a CD and it was like one. Am and I was in my office at home. And I put the CD. And I hit play and it was a recording from a dictaphone and the recording had been bent. It was a belt. Almost in the there was kind of like this like this. This constant like like sounds like this is kinda weird and then I heard this like crackling sound which I recognized immediately as the sound of the the microphone. That was on a plastic cord and had on off switch and he would turn it off when he wanted to think and he would turn it on again to to record so there. Is this an in this crippling sound? And then it's like loud. Hit the button. And there was rod sterling's voice saying interior diner then walks in looks around at and I heard this and he was like stopping the thing. We'll see what happens next. And I got to like here when Rod Sterling would stop and consider the next thing he looks at the waiter him and then every once in a while. Denise remind me to tell Carol and I know it's a great rod serling too early People out there probably have passion projects stuff they really. WanNa get off the ground like me. I would like to have a puppet theatre that sold a lot of alcohol. Oh yeah not for kids for adults and it's adult themed puppet shows that's something I want to get into like nudity and stuff. Well nude puppet is fine. It's not obscene. Just a puppet. This got off track fast. That's my passion project but if you have one you want to make it happen you can turn your dream into a reality with squarespace. Squarespace makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project. Let's say you want to start a business or showcase your work or save a new puppet show a lot of alcohol is served and you want to get the word out. Squarespace is the tool for you you. They got great. Templates made by great designers. They can customize everything with a few clicks. They got powerful ECOMMERCE functionality. Good I don't get to say that often but when I do it's usually when I'm talking about squarespace. Do you know what that means? Let's keep moving. Everything's optimized for mobile right out of the box and there's nothing to patch or upgrade. I hate when you have to patch upgrade. Yeah buying domain is simple. You'll get the help you need with square spaces twenty four seven award winning customer support. This is just the way to go. I mean come on. What are we doing here? I really want I really believe squarespace could help me with my adult. Themed puppet show serve a lot of alcohol head to squarespace dot com slash CONAN for a free trial. When you're ready to launch the offer code Conan to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or demand that squarespace dot com slash coenen offer code. Conan helped me with the puppet show Obviously I worry a lot about security. An international figure figure known throughout the world also Not Beloved Enemies. I have enemies all over. The place on this podcast. Yeah on this podcast in my office mostly sunny. You probably know of many people that have said hey we're exactly live so I can dispatch Ninjas to beat him with pipes right and I give them your address and Ninjas beating me it's such a waste of a Ninja Ninja. Beat you with a pipe when they have all these other skills but I do. I think security is not just important for a fellow like me known throughout the world but for anybody and when it matters most you've got to trust a D. T. 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Everyone's health right now including offering contactless installation and using extra protection and sanitation tools during this crisis super tech now pay later with low flexible monthly payments to fit your budget learn more at. Adt Dot com slash. Podcast own fascinating. This goes to something that I think you agree with. How can you really blow people away and movies? We live in this era of for example And thinking of this because we brought up. We're talking about rod sterling and these amazing endings. We live in an era where it's impossible not to have things spoiled for you implanted the apes. I remembered watching that movie. I was too young to see it in the theater when it came out but I saw later on in a movie theater. And when that ending is revealed with the Statue of Liberty and the sand. I have a visceral connection to help blown away. I was and how everything suddenly made sense and I had the same feeling when I saw citizen Kane for the first time and then I finally it's revealed what Rosebud in Rosebud sled and I'm just Asas like God that that meant so much to me an electrical shopping through my body. I've had the experience. Now of watching things I introduced my son Beckett things and I'll show him in. I'll be showing in planet of the apes the original withdrawal Heston and he'll say other on earth and I'll say we're like twenty minutes in and go way. Why do you know that you might there's a simpsons? Were they sing a song about how and I'm like that's exactly right filing at that is so true and this happens all the time with with me and my kids but Augie in particular he everything has been referenced. So many times in shows you've worked on yes. Now wait a minute to be my but it's true it happened with. I showed him citizen Kane and he went. Yeah it's a sled and they went what anyone yet. There's an episode where Mr Burns says Rosebud sled falls out of the ceiling. Nine is amazing. I'm enraged because Kids Ono. The references and the references are so clever and Hyper knowing and if it's not that it then then things are being spoiled. You know online and everything's being discussed so it's like it doesn't. It doesn't really matter where it comes from. It's like there's almost I don't know what it was what it was like. Or if there was a kind of respect for the story or some kind of sense of like the sanctity of of keeping the ending a secret like all that has gone now and everything is like anything that can be used. It's almost like we're all like monkeys in cages. Like anybody can pick up and throw at the bars. You know we we do and I like that idea of. If someone doesn't like something that someone does you know it has to be a weapon that you have to be you know insidiously bitingly you know clever about online I if something is ruin -able you know who's the first one who can find a way to you know to ruin the ending of it becomes a race to like shock into you know and I think it's the simpsons by the way is the is the least at least that's like genuinely brilliant and hysterically. Funny the idea that it's just sort of you know. Everything is just a grist for the mill. It just feels like there's no respect for kind of trying to keep things You've probably you've probably experienced this. You've probably experienced this but another experience. I've had I want to show my kids a film a great classic film and they're wondering they're weighing whether or not they want to invest two hours in this movie you know versus something else they might WanNa see. 'cause it's you're only allowed to watch stuff on the weekends and so it's it's One of our two shots that we get this weekend and so they'll often say to me. What's this beginning? I'll say it's Lawrence of Arabia this. They'll say well. Let's see the trailer and I'll say now I don't want to show you the trailer they watch trailers and it's not just them. It's their friends. They watch trailers to decide if they're going to see a movie rather than just having the movie unveiled and I try to tell them. You've got a pretty good percentage here. I'm showing you one of the top one hundred movies of grime right but I am stunned. At how many times I go and see a movie and I'm sitting through the trailers and they tell me everything that happens in the movie everything on it's their way. I guess covering their asses and saying what we want them to. You know to be sure. They know that it's got a really cool ending in that. The run earth all the time but I think today they would show you. I think today they would show you the Statue of Liberty in the sand in the trailer for Atlanta VX. I do think that it's it's something that it is. A is a very odd sort of. Maybe it's because when a movie isn't working they do it more often because it's like let's just throw it all on the screen and I. It's it's a really annoying thing that I don't think anyone anyone likes. I think people at the studios. No that it's it's not the smartest way to go and yet still. It seems to be something that you feel like. You've seen the movie when you've seen the trailer I'm as you know there. It's such an art form. Still Weird specific art form when really good trailers cut together. It's amazing how how footage is used for a great trailer. Editor knows how to find something that might frankly not even have much meeting at all in a scene in a movie. You're not might not even be used in the film itself looking at sort of the dailies. But like they know a certain. Look a certain turn like I've seen so many where the trailers totally got me. And then you're watching the movie. You're like you know the trailer was so promising. And you realize like these people who can edit trailers well it is such a buck in genius. You know art form. That's I don't think I quite appreciated the way it should be because it really is an amazing thing when there are a lot of bad ones. We've all seen a lot of bad ones but a really good trailer for a movie is so like the promise of what that is so amazing and then often you go to see the movie. You're like wow man. I wish that I wish the trailer editor had more of a role in the movie Well I'm GonNa Reference a movie that I thought were. The trailer was and it lit and the movie lived up to it and it's a movie That you were done cloverfield and I was in the theater when that trip when I saw that trailer. If you haven't seen the trailer if you just want to refresh your memory go back and look at that trailer that trailer you never see the monster. You never see the creature that I remember being in a theater and that trailer running and people bursting into wild screams and applause and being just delighted and then whatever movie we watched didn't Magin at follow. The trailer couldn't match it and ironically that trailer involved the Statue of Liberty Ironically coincidentally but when we had the idea for that trailer wall we were writing the script and I literally. I remember calling up the head of paramount at the time was Brad Grey and saying I'd like to shoot this trailer and and get it on On transformers if we could and and not even put a title for the movie and have it be something that no one has heard of and in this sort of moment of everyone knowing everything about what's coming finding a way to surprise people you know it was exciting so they actually let us shoot the trailer before we shot the movie we act as a separate piece and then we were cutting together the trailer as we're prepping the movie and then the trailer was out there while we were shooting. It was a very bizarre way to go and it was really the opposite of we have this date. We have to get the movie done. It was sort of like my asking the studio if they wouldn't mind letting us do something that was fairly unheard of and and you know we had the date that the movie was coming out was gives plenty of time but it was a really fun thing in Matt Reeves who directed the movie in and Drew Goddard. Who who wrote it you know and Brian Burke Producer? We were all. They're working on the trailer as if it were. The movie was very strange. Weird little commercial basically but we knew it was going to be in the film so it was a way of using it was. It's a terrifying trailer. It tells you nothing but at the same time tells you everything you need to know and I remember that trailer ending in thinking I've got to. I don't care if there's a child of mine is scheduled to be born that day. I'm seeing rookie. I have to see that movie and this leads me to my next thing that I think I know that you're a such a student of film but this way of trying to keep mystery. You've done a brilliant right your career but insist keeping an air of mystery at a time when people are being given too much information and I remembered on lost you guys could just show Especially early in series. You guys could just show palm trees a bunch of palm trees and you'll hear a noise but that's all you got and that was scarier to me than any effect that cost eight hundred million dollars. Do you know what I mean. I do think the one of my one of my favorite things. I is the use of of sound as what I've always wanted to do as a a movie that took place in a setting. That didn't allow you to see much of what was going on. And we were talking about Cloverfield we actually you know the first script someone read it. Read like a a two hundred million dollar movie. We were talking about how we actually wanted a show very little. And because of the the video camera of course limited Which is helpful. But the idea of what you would hear and the idea of the aftermath of something you know when I first talked to Steven Spielberg when when he and Tom Cruise. We're going to war of the worlds and I remember having a discussion with them. About what what they were thinking about and wanted things. A Stephen was saying how he really wanted to use the sound and very very little of the destruction these sort of. Tripod aliens coming down and I just. I love the idea of using using sound or you know again. I think you think about something like Jurassic Park one of the images that you you think of is the water seeing those you know those concentric circles with the audio of the thump of the T. rex coming and that's as impressive as impactful as any. Cg shot and by the way the amazing about that movie is when you look at that film. I think the number is sixty two visual effect shots in that movie which is nothing compared to the Larry. Two thousand visual effect shots. You might have in a in a sort of current blockbuster. There were sixty two. Cg shots I mean they had the the giant animatronic puppets but those were limited and could do you know but when you think about how sort of judiciously. Those things were used and the impact each shot hat where now so sort of used to getting bludgeoned by so many different shots. And I'm sure I'm as responsible as anyone that bludgeoning but that idea of just like becoming immune to or numb to all that kind of imagery it's early it's engine earlier when you were saying how you're wondering about. How do we surprise people today and with kids knowing all the endings before they even see the movies? You know where I thought you were going was. How do we make people? How do we impress people? How many people feel anything anymore given the fact that we can sort of show them everything and I'm really interested in that like in a way I feel like I just saw this movie over the weekend. It was incredibly sweet. It's called The minority and it's beautiful sweet story about these Korean immigrants in. It's just a really beautifully done movie. That twenty four is putting out and it was. It was more emotionally impactful. You know there was. It was very humble sweet film and it was just like there's something about seeing a movie that was really that really you know had a an emotional punch You know that didn't have any of the stuff that in a way can be considered a crutch or or you know the you think it'll be spectacle and therefore it'll it'll be impressive in a lot of times. It actually does the opposite. You know I know you mentioned Spielberg and I know that you've worked with him. And you guys are friends. I think one of the most famous examples of creating mystery is in jaws which have always heard was an accident bit. He wanted to show that the the shark more but because of technical reasons he couldn't see you don't really see the shark for a long time during the film. I was blown away by that. Because when you watch it now you realize how effective it is how powerful it is to not see the threat and to have this mystery and the sense of. I think it's over here. I think it's over there. It darts in and out of the frame you get little glimpses of it but to think today about trying to make a movie where you don't really show you don't really see the threat until I don't know if it's the third act or close to the third act is pretty stunning. I agree it's funny that the thing I mean. Obviously the the story is sort of the shark known as Bruce not working is is a famous story and it really did help the movie like you say it reminds me of two things. One is the other things that like. They thought they were GONNA do that. Ended up not being necessary and and actually improving the movie. One day I was. I was with Stephen in his office at his home. And he's got a shelf of all. These leather bound scripts of his movies and I saw jaws. I said you mind. If he's like no no so. I took it out and I opened up opened to a random page and on this page somewhere in the middle of the script there were three lines from hooper and brody and quint that we're all crosstalk of blue pants and this was his script that he had on the set and right next to these three lines that were crossed out that were sort of generic lines was in Penn written brody. We're GONNA need a bigger boat. Wow and it was like the idea that that that that there was a ons an onset decision to say you know what instead of those three. Let's just have this one and it's that an alien reminded me of is in alien the original alien. There's some one of the deleted scenes. Rock Cartwright who plays one of the crew in a terrifying scene where she's being killed and I and it was a cut not a cut seeing a shot that was deleted. That was this very wide angle. Shot down the corridor of her standing there and the alien kind of standing up and it was literally the League. Scary thing you've ever seen in your life like it was like it was not remotely scary and this is like one of the great scary movies in the history. It was like an old man getting out of a sofa. If it was like wait a minute I love your friendship with my eye but it was. It was this and you realize you know the point of view the perspective. How critical that all those decisions are and seeing a shot directed by one of the great directors in one of the great movies and you go. Oh they chose not to use that. Of course they chose not to use that. But you just realize how close we all are to you. Know even the greats can make can make decisions that they think will work and they later if they're lucky they realize not to use them. Yeah I think it may be Apocryphal. But I'm pretty sure that I think they shot like three. They shot them but they had three possible endings for Casablanca and one of them was Humphrey. Bogart's Bourbon Baby. I'm coming with you. Fuck the French Guy. And they get on the plane and he can find someone else about the same. Yeah and then the plane takes off and Kooky music plays Sax Benny Hill. I would have been right. Yeah they they missed an opportunity talking with the war in hip hop beats. And that's all you need to know you WANNA follow their story more Casablanca to you know. I always wonder how people come at. You know the different angles. They come at things and I didn't know this when I first met you and I found out later on that initially the way you were approaching all this was through music. I mean you were very sitted music. You are very interested in in how things in in scoring how things were is that is that true or just have lousy information. I I love music. I'm always working on on on different tunes and I've done theme songs to some of the shows we've done and when I was growing up. There were no vhs tapes there were no DVD's or or blue razors streaming. It was like obviously like like with you you saw on TV or what was in the theaters and that was it. Looked like it or lump it and so for me what I would do is I would buy a record store nearby where I lived in in Westwood. That sold that were they. Were sent out from guess sort of as her samples that were sold inexpensively so they were like they had little holes were punched out of the top corner and you could buy them for for two bucks and all the soundtracks where they're you know none of this sort of hit records but all the soundtracks soundtracks like every weekend and go home and listen to soundtracks. Because I can tell. The story was based on the the music and looking at the names of the the tracks and so I would lie there with with headphones on like we have on now and I would be. Just you know looking at the soundtrack album cover and reading the names of the tracks and sort of whatever information that might have on the back and feel. I'd be watching the movie because certainly with with with composers like John Williams Jerry Goldsmith Maurice Jarre. There are certain people that like they just they told the story in their music and so I always loved that and and I remember we had a little stand up piano at home and I would like you know sort of Bang on the piano and sort of pretend those were cello or whatever and and people would walk by and stop in my mind. It was like I could hear you know answering nurturing household but what would I later what I what I learned. Was that there were there. Were these things called synthesizers and samplers? And I couldn't afford them until later but when I finally got my hands on them the idea that you could create most any sound you know allowed me to begin to to make music never as good as or as well as I like or as good as as people who I know who for real but I love it like crazy and actually even did did music for a movie when I was a teenager. That was called night beast. That was a movie released by trauma. Remember and it was it was it was these but made by a man named Don dolar who is a director in Baltimore. He was sort of the horror equivalent John Waters and he would do these crazy pretty. Diy horror movies. That were sort of wonderful in their weird little way and so he he he made these magazines call. Cinemagica as a kid. There was no internet either so it was like I learned how to do animation. Stop motion stuff or titles. Whatever through these magazines and I remember writing a letter to him and he was like working on a new movie and like. Oh Wow I I love to do something like that the soundtrack I was like sure I'm sixteen so I ended up doing doing some of the music for that movie and it was like it was first break. That's fantastic. It's either a really good sign or a bad sign when a sixteen year old. Just randomly rights filmmaking. He goes like sounds good. Hey why don't you get so I? I wish this story had a better ending. And you'll see why when we were shooting the pilot for lost and we were on the airplane set and I believe it was probably the same airplanes at that you and I shot on and during lunch. Break these people coming to like look and location scout the airplane as a fucking airplanes and airplane anyway so they're looking to end and the person who has scouting was Roger Cormon. Oh Wow and I went up to him and like Mr Carmen. There's film in the cameras. If you WANNA film anything you want right now go ahead. Because he's the kind of guy who would shoot anything anywhere and just steal shots and he didn't and there's no story other than I met Roger Cormon and you know I I did get my shot in film which was do you remember. The name of it was it short. Shark Nayyar Shark Puss. Your can forget how this even came about but this was about ten years ago. They said I'd just crazy stuff comes over the transom. And then one thing was would like to do a cameo in Roger Cormon Shark to Puss and I said you had me at would Conan like too so I was. I was just Roger Cormon. You're kidding is he going to actually direct and they said yes so I I went to the beach which I think is actually a all roads lead back. Everything The same beach where they shot the ending of planet of the Apes. I went to that beach and my job was to play. Conan O'Brien insufferable. I'm wearing A. I'm wearing a blue blazer a yawning cap and I have an assistant remember. I had an actress playing my assistant. Son Remember this right. Yeah and she was fanning you or she was fanning me like on some absolutely out of touch than I have and some kids are playing volleyball and they knocked the volleyball and it hits me and I jumped up and I start screaming at them. I'm Conan O'Brien do has any idea that one of the top television comedians. And as I'm screaming you see a long tentacle. Come out of the water. Oh come on. That's IT GOES. It goes up my ass out my mouth knocking the cap off my head and then It rips my head off the head rolls over toward the volleyball players. Are they pick it up and continue playing volleyball with my separate head and I have yes. I'll give it to you. It's one of my favorite. It's yeah it was just one of those. I think I was there for four hours and I've never been more certain I was doing the right thing. I've never been more certain that might time. I've taken long walks with daughter were. I've talked about life and time with Roger. Corman was much better asked how was it. He was great. He was terrific. He seemed like he was in icon. That guy yeah yeah really just absolutely just absolutely unbelievable experience which you know. I don't know if you're able to step outside your situation now. I know you know you to be a very humble guy. But you've now created that kind of you know body of work where you're GONNA have you already have people? I mean the Times that you've even past my children. They wonder why you would ever spend a second with me. They've just they knew they put you on such a pedestal. Like can you believe that J.j? Abrams you know I I know that it is. It is the format of of the podcast. Say My name is. I feel this way about being your friend but the reason I do feel exceeding lucky is not just because obviously. You're a lovely guy. I know this is sounds sycophantic and stuff but what I really truly believe despite everything that has happened in the nearly thirty years which I cannot believe that have passed the fact that I was sitting in that audience on that day. Watching you as this young comic. Come out to you know. Begin in this kind of this crazy sort of precipitous moment for you like like what was going to be you know and to get to see and have that audience electricity and to feel like. Oh here's a guy who's about to launch into the consciousness and sort of the you know into pop culture and the history of this country and and to have you be someone that now I get to know and and hang out with and I it just it. It really truly does make me feel like a lucky guy. So I can't thank you enough for a mile for that. That's amazing Well that's very nice of you to say I know there's a movie role coming happy. They're not be surgery vein and you're good. I will not. I will not torture you any longer. just absent and you've made Everybody snap to attention when they heard that you were coming on the Pike Place. Is Mary Nice? Thank you so much for asking. Let's let's do this again. Tomorrow would be better. I'm unavailable okay. Hello this is sonum obsession. I'm Conan O'Brien's assistant and I have an Instagram TV series. You sound like a robot fixes your life these days. I'm helping people cope with life in quarantine by answering their questions things. Like how can extrovert Cope during quarantine? And what are some ways to still like my spouse during all this to be clear? I'm not an expert on cove. Nineteen just on wasting time. Cuban I out what a what a great third grade presentation. Thank you. Keep an eye out for brand new episodes airing every other Friday on team. Cocoa's instagram yeah. You get a cookie. That was terrible eight this. Hey it's been a while since we've reviewed the reviewers are you guys up for that. I'll admit I'm always somewhat guarded. I tense up a little bit. I had feared criticism since I was a child. I'm always worried about what someone's going to say but let's do it. You know that I'll take care of you. I screen these. Oh okay well I hate when you say that. Makes me think there's horrible stuff? I'm not hearing so I mean I'm screening all the praise it's just sometimes it's too laudatory and it has to be taken down to just faint or normal praise but there is not a single critical one of these. You're kidding but this is going to be something I think about it. Three o'clock in the morning. Because that's wakeup up. I wake up at three and I go through my rosary. Beat of self loathing. Click one beat at a time. Anyway let's go do it okay. Subject I need to know three exclamation marks five stars by J Kawhi nine. I'm sure that I'm not the first to ask this. But what do your sponsors think of the way you go about reading their advertisements. Personally your take is so hilarious that I don't even fast forward to the ADS which is saying a lot too not ever change. Which I'm sure by now is a safe bet Sony and Gourlay. The show wouldn't be the same without both of you. Hey CONAN will disagree. But that's really. What makes him so Special Malamah? Porno take care. Did he say Porno at the end? Kona Hawaiian okay. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I thought he said my love is porn out. Why did your mind go their place? I didn't mean to lower what was otherwise a lovely sentiment till he delved into pornography in the end. I I'm glad I'm glad they like the way. I re- DADS. I read ads the only way I can. Which is I can't I cannot read straight copy. I have no idea what advertisers think about what we're doing and I'm not trying to be. I'm not trying to sound cool or anything but I honestly don't care I really don't care I mean I love doing the podcast and and and I love that. The ads are able to sustain us. But when there's copy that sounds blatantly ridiculous coming out of my mouth. I have to say something about it so I can tell you a little bit that there's a certain amount of removal so there's the advertisers than the stitcher people that have to collect all that and then very gingerly asked for For things to be edited out because they were to sh- to sharp commentary. Obviously you didn't ask my permission first. So this is a revelation. You're editing me out editorially without consulting me. You're not even in this podcast. That's probably why it's doing so well. I'm shocked you still have sponsors. If I'M GONNA be blunt well no well first of all. I think one of the reasons we have sponsors. Is that I don't think I'm saying anything. People don't know the podcast has been very successful. It's listened I think the latest figures are over nine billion people just in America alone which yeah which is hard to do in a country of only three hundred and forty five million people and also people do listen to the ADS. They don't fast forward through them. So they are hearing the name of the product occasionally. They're hearing me rail against the product right. But you still walk away remembering the name of the product and is any advertiser will tell you. That's nine tenths of the battle. That is why I think. Advertisers are sticking with us so. I am curious when I can just imagine gourlay mopping his brow with a vintage. I love how you're Improv is. Just No. Are we improving yes. This is an Improv shitting. There that you are a fop known. New a cloth handkerchief carrying fop annual. You know and every now and then you're talking to somebody at a mattress company and your mopping your browsing. Meryl's go stick addict you weird clown. What's the Dick you weird clown dig? It is love that just came out. Let's move that's insanity stick you clown and you're the guy who's editing me. That's what I love. Who's aging you? The guy you just shouted stick Dick Weird clown is editing me out of my own ads. Stick Dick Weird clown. This is from the person. Who's editing me unbelievable anyway. I hope you don't back down too much Chorley. I hope you stay home. And I'm on your side right. There's been a couple of times where I've sort of in a fun way. Implied that the product. I'm promoting will kill. You instinct might be something along those lines. Yeah and maybe you've had to edit those out right. You also have disdain for anything computer related that you don't understand you automatically bash it so I don't think the computer will be part of the future. I think it's a fad. All I think the I do think personal computing and I think most of the advances in the last fifteen years will melt away and we will go back to the Abacus Wooden be you'll say this word. GonNa look back on this and go. What was that thing? We did where we crunched a lot of information down using silicon chips. Oh I don't remember. Click clack click clack abacus. I have more than one. Oh then are you enjoying your abaci. I am father. That's the future. I envision that was just you know the plural of Abacus. Yeah so okay. Let's do another our favorite podcast. Five stars by 'em Madeleine. Hi I'm nine years old and I listened to your podcast. I think you are so funny. Hashtag love it. She's nine I'm so glad she's GonNa hear. Stick a dickey weird. I just don't think nine year old should be listening to this park first of all. What is her name? Madeleine Madeline That's very nice. I'm sure you're hearing some things on this podcast. That are frightening or confuse. You and I apologize for that. It's weird because it has content at a nine year old shouldn't here but the maturity level of it is about a nine year old true. Yeah those weird. If that happens very rarely that things line up that way well. I think I'm glad that at Madeline it surely clearly has very good taste And I just hope sometimes I know that we we delve into areas. That maybe a nine year old shouldn't be hearing about and I blamed for that because she is what. You're kind of Your filthy dirty person. But I know Brian needs a friend so I need a friend who'd doesn't have their mind in the gutter goodwood. Would you say you said good? I was mocking that. Come back that you had because it was terrible. I said Oh good one like yes you probably that might come back with no good. Yeah Hawgood One Madeline. Now is changing her mind. A nine year old is being driven away from the I test. She switched to Joe Rogan pumping iron. Madeleine's that's GONNA have arms for days soon shoot guns. That's nice that's nice. I'm glad that she's listening to the podcast. And maybe she'll learn a lot. I know that I don't want to know your well. No learned the plural of Abacus. Is so anything from this podcast. This podcast has nothing educational whatsoever about it. This this podcast is equivalent of lead in the water supply. You see it shortens your attention span. You start to drastically lose. Iq You have difficulty sleeping. And eventually your empire crumbles in this case Rome. Hey I also got some bad news for you. The plural of Abacus is abacus. Dammit you're a moron kidding. I love those I first of all abacus is terrible. I would like to move and I will. I think we should contact the Oxford English dictionary. People and I'm serious about this. I think we should contact them and say we want the plural of abacus to be Abaci. Isn't Abaci name. Sounds like someone from the Bible? Yeah we're going to start a movement. A very important movement to change the plural of advocates. The WORD ABACI Puts ME IN MIND OF A story? As Abraham Lincoln used to say that puts me in mind of a story. You all remember the Dean of the Actors Studio James Yet. He was a frequent guest on our late night. Show and did lots of bit for us and was a really terrific guy. A great Rockland tour of the old school and his lovely. He passed away recently which was sad but he lived this amazingly full long life and his wife's name was category and I met catacomb and she's lovely and once I think it was Elaine's restaurant I got to have dinner with James. Lipton he invited me to dinner. I think we did something together. And then he said let's off to Elaine and so the next thing I knew I made Elaine's restaurant for the first time in an eating with James Lipton and they're all these paintings and stuff on the wall and different pictures of different interesting people and Sketches and there was a painting of a woman a Behind James Lipton and he's chewing away at his pork chop and he said to see that for Nude Woman that painting on the wall behind me and I said yes and he said. Do you know who that woman is all know and I said No. And he said it's Kinda tied and I dropped my four and said that's the fucking greatest line that anyone has said to me in my life. Never Forget James Lipton. Had I think he had tied like old school had put like a a Napkin around his neck? His throats to keep the food from getting on his suit and he was showing and he said that woman behind me you see her and it was this very attractive. Nude woman in the painting was maybe twenty thirty years old and he went. I said you know her identity and I said no I. It's it's Cata cod as God made her. Oh my God what are antastic. Moment in my life and his wife was sitting next to him just sort of like going. Yeah Okay James. Maybe not tell everyone that. That's a nude portrait of me. Jarred made if people take one thing away from my podcast. I wanted to be that Madeleine nine year old madeline. If you're listening right now. I know the plural. I mean I know the plural of advocates advocacy's which it should not be. But I do know this that when you see a nude portrait in. What's the now closed? Elaine's restaurant you should say. Try as dot made a big swallow if a pork chop. Hey listen. Can I make one appeal? If you're a fan of this show and you see me out in the world because I am out there I walk around them. An easy to spot If you say to me by as God made her I will give you ten dollars. Oh my God you want that. In this podcast. I don't know that could have been a very foolish thing. I just said you let me know is that's crazy ten dollars. I could lose a lot of money. Yeah that's don't do that. You don't do that. I'm going to actually say this fight. You see me out in the world listeners. To this if you see me you know me when you see me right sonal. Yeah your giant white man with red hair and it's very easy to spot you okay anyway. If the same if you see me I ask you to do is shout kind of tie as God made her and a I will greet you very happily CONAN. O'brien needs a friend obsession and Conan O'Brien as himself produced by me Mac Gormley executive produced by Adam Saks. Jeff Ross. At Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Ben and at Ear Wolf theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Geneva Vena. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples. The show's engineered by will becton. You can rate and review this show on apple podcasts. And you might find your review featured on a future episode got a question for Conan called the team Coco hotline at three two. Three four five one. Two eight Q on and leave a message it too featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already please subscribe to Conan. O'brien needs a friend on apple podcasts. Stitcher or wherever. Fine podcasts are downloaded. Phys has been eighteen cocoa production in association with you.