Patience: The Lost Prophecy (Book 5, Chapter 37)
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Seventh also starting at seven pm. Tickets, you can find Harry Potter. Sacred texts dot com. Click on the button. Chapter thirty seven the lost prophecy, Harry's feet hit solid ground again. His knees buckled, a little and the golden wizards head fell with a resounding clunk to the floor. He looked around and saw the heat arrived in Dumbledore office. Everything seemed to have repaired itself during that I'm Vanessa Zoltan. And I'm custody Kyle. And this Harry Potter and the sacred text. So friends one big announcement this week, which is that women of Harry Potter, has, like graduated from a training podcast to its own podcast, which means that it is no longer going to be an our feed. So you are gonna have to go subscribe to the women of Harry Potter feed, there will be two episodes, a month of the women of Harry Potter in this new feed, and one bonus episode on patriot on. We are so excited for our first baby. Spinoff podcast. Fast. It's a moment. It's a casper free zone. It's a dangerous thing. We shouldn't vite you over Bella tricks. I'm coming for you. I'm. I'm. Vanessa this week's theme is patience. And as soon as I started thinking about that theme. I went awry back to missed a gal is music room, growing up all four of us siblings had an instrument that we started off and I started off with violin. I was no good at violin. I hit under the trampoline to avoid going violin lessons. And so I graduated onto the clarinet because I was told that my lungs, too small to play the saxophone, which I realize now with the very sneaky way from my parents to avoid saxophone music, but I believe them, and so I just had to get started with my clarinet, and who was teaching clarinet. It was mystic hours and we were preparing for concert. You know, like people are starting out with an instrument, Johnston perform, and I was gonna play green sleeves, but it was really hard and I didn't like practicing. So maybe this was my fifty six lesson or something and I hadn't really practiced that week and. Came in and I played what could have sounded something like green sleeves and mystic hours. Just looked at me and said you haven't practiced I'm leading this room and you're going to use this as you'll practice time you'll wasting my time or something like that. And as soon as the door closed behind him. I just bold. My little is out. Could you sustain that with your small? I was just so so upsetting. And I wasn't even angry Mr. Gowan because he was right. I hadn't practiced at all. I was angry at myself, not having the patience to stick with something that I wasn't good at which I think, is all a musical instrument can take you if you're not particularly talented like I wasn't. And that's something I still struggle with today. I hate doing something new, especially in front of other people if I'm not good at it. I just get so queasy about it. And so patients virtue that I liked to turn into a non virtue I like to say, like oh, yeah, impatience is good. If you wanna make change and things like that, but really, I'm just really bad a patient's. So I'm looking forward to see what I can learn from the characters in this chapter this week. Casper. I also am not known for my patients is why we get along to be on. I think so too. We're like, well, we have an idea verte gas. Let's make one done. Okay. Well, let's test each other's patients with a little thirty second recap yet. The reason that we do with thirty second recap is because anything longer, we're like, oh my God. Okay. Thirty seconds on the clock. What's the recap of chapter thirty seven studying now, part of me wants to be like three cap of this chapter is five seconds stumbled during Harry talk, but things happen. Finished my jealous was like, oh my God. My, my nephew is dad goes to his other portrait. Harry Dumbledore locks Harry into the office at one point, and double doors, does a lot of like explaining explaining of, like when you were eleven I didn't want to tell you because of this reason when you were twelve didn't wanna tell you because of this reason, we find out that tr- Alani is one that made the prediction. We find out that tumbler didn't really wanna hire Lonnie then she had this prophecy moment. And here's had sometimes you hire their. Wrong person. And then you can't get rid of them. Sometimes you hire the wrong person for good reason, though. That's what Dumbledore does here. That's true. Okay. Casper. Try to beat that. Great. Let me have ago on your Mark. Get set go. Okay. So dumble those basically being like unclothe of feelings for you. And it made me things that I shouldn't have done like come. We just like wrap this up because I'm in grief and shock right now and asked yet, have some chocolate, and we relent all the stuff that in one cont die, while the other survives. And so how he's like, oh my goodness. It's gonna be me but also couldn't it be Neville. And we spent a lot of time thinking that really it should be Neville, because Harry is kind of dumb with everything. And then the, the end good job, right? Everyone go vote for cast. So Vanessa as we dig into this chapter thinking of my story with my clarinet, I couldn't help, but notice that there's a real parallel. He with Harry not practicing clemency. And what's interesting is that how link me ends up feeling really ashamed right in this moment once he has hindsight? He thinks like, oh my goodness. If I had practiced if I had done what I had been off to do. Maybe serious wouldn't have died and he's starting to see how he is responsible by not practicing his musical instrument. Yeah. In what strikes me both about the clarinet and about Auckland City that nobody has given you a purpose. I think that I am much more capable of having patients. When I know why I have to have it right. Like a long flight. You're like okay, like there's an ocean to get over. And when I get over the ocean, I will get to see x y and z, but as a kid, it's like if you are privilege and lucky enough to get the practicing instrument you just. Told to do it. And for this vague like it'll help you get into college like ou know Mike ocean was like when you're sixteen. You can stop. And that was very, very far away. When I was like twelve right? And I think it was the same with Auckland. See, I think that if it had been explicitly told to Harry Volmer is going to continue to try to infiltrate your brain, and we are scared, you will hurt people right in which is a lot of the meaning making the double doors doing here. Absolutely. But I think he's right. I think that Harry would have been able to suck it up with his time of snake, and would have had more patients if it was clear to what he was doing. This is so resonant for me have I ever told you the story of how I stopped playing the clarinet? No, I didn't even know you'd played the clarinet and it's so endearing. Well. So his thing, exactly what happened is what you just said, in that once I realized, oh, my parents want me to have a hobby. This was maybe when I was fourteen or fifteen I wrote my parents lead up and, like I brought it down. Instead is. And what it said, let's clarinet is not my hobby people on my hobby. My parents like okay. Claire clarinet. Is your hobby? But it was a moment when I realized like, oh, there's a big Papas, then me being able to play green sleeves in front of twenty people in the solemn of the school. It's actually about me having an interest in cultivating, discipline, and creating ought in some way, in the world, and not made sense to me. And then I was able to recognize oh, actually no. My gift is something else. It is not this, and I feel like Harry could be like guys, I know you wanna use me for killing machine and that maybe I'm the secret weapon. But what I'm really good at is flying on a broom and we just focus on that. I mean I know you're kidding. But like it's hard with very small kid to appeal to them, and they're like, sense of future indiscipline about, like why they need to stick it out of the piano. But I think Harry is mature enough that I think Dumbledore is right in his regrets here that he's putting a ton of responsibility on himself. But also he takes a lot of agency and makes a lot of decisions without consulting. A lot of people. And I think he's right like this. Was a missed opportunity, I think Harry would have studied. I agree. And I think actually, to turn to patients Dumbledore was to patient. You know, he he keeps illustrating all of these moments when he could have shed more information. And we look back at those moments and think gosh, when Harry left, that room he was feeling informed and understanding and Dumbledore left every room being like, oh, there's more to say and I haven't, and I think because he's gotten into that path. And right off the year one where it could have been that first moment every time there's an opportunity like that. It just lay as on more ingrained non action. Yeah, he tells himself is about respect and is about patients, but I mean, if Harry's able to handle these situations as he is fighting vulnerable numerous times, orchestrating this wild escape with Hamis brains. He is going to be able to handle this information as he does now. Yeah. I mean the way that I was curious about Dumbledore doing that. I was like, okay, what's the difference between patients in a void? I think that we can put a positive spin on. I'm just waiting for the right time to break up with this person, and I'm being patient. It was just their birthday and then it's Valentine's Day, and now it's March and everyone gets sad March because winters, not over. True. And those are all true, but, like, what's the difference between patients and like actually just voiding an awkward conversation? The funny thing to me is that dumble during this moment, sort of believes in the conceit of the book, which is that you can only have these reveal conversations like a tough moment with all the more are voted to see that he's like the only times we could have like this is right after an enormous trauma during your exams, right? And like go visit him on. Privet drive in the middle of the summer and be like it's been a month. How you doing about the Cedric death? BTW have some things I need to tell you have lupin, there have serious, like. Vanessa your genius. But yes, but I think that we all do that. Right. Like I know I do that. We build up these false walls around, like all when I talk to my parents about finances. And I'm like, well, it has to wait till I'm home in Los Angeles. And it's like, no, it doesn't like just because in the past conversations have happened in LA, part of the reason that they're always these really big conversations is because I save it all up until I'm in LA whereas I talked to my parents, almost every day, we could have a million small conversations about it. Right. And so even though it's the narrative structure of the books. It's actually about this other thing, which is we all create these weird boundary is. And I think patients in choosing your moment. Wisely is wonderful. And I also just think we can hide behind that. So here's the interesting thing in the text. We actually get to read the word patience. I when I saw like this will make casper, so happy just as so satisfying, and it comes from Dumbledore, who literally says, I only ask for a little patience, and this is off the Harry's being like. I don't wanna talk about it. Get me out of it. He tries to leave, and literally, the doors locked Dumbledore will not let him leave. And Saddam says explain I only ask for a little patience. And it's so ironic to me that actually Dumbledore is asking Harry for the thing that Dumbledore has had too much of. And again, it just speaks to your point of layering on all of this extra intense emotional work in, in a moment of real distress, and it's such distress. The Dumbledore has to literally lock Harry, n Dumbledore institutionalizes this forced patients. I guess I'm wondering if you are forcing someone else to be patient. Is it actually patients will? So this is a really good question. Because patients is often about someone else changing, right like learning how to play clarinet as patients with myself, and like being really bad at something until you get okay at it, and then hopefully get a little better. But sometimes patience is about in allowing someone else to move at their own pace to just. Watch an hold still as they have the experiences or, you know, just the things that happened to them in their own time. Without you, imposing your timeline or your designs on, on that growth and development. And I think biolog- doubled those actually pretty good at that. Like he doesn't impose is information on much else, frankly, on, Harry and really lets the trio kind of have that owned adventures and gives little nudges here in that by giving them a time Turner at cetera, but they really all the agents of their experience. Yes. But I'm not sure that he's doing that because he's withholding information. So Harry could discover his own path entirely. And then doubled architects, psych actually, this whole other things happening. I feel like Dumbledore like knows Harry has cancer, and it's like I don't want you to be burdened with this knowledge and Harry's, like, but if I would've known I would have acted differently. I mean these are like really find balances, and we have to forgive each other for the mistakes that we make impatience. I also think, you know, like I. Think that this is true in every situation of patients. Right. Like, if your child isn't walking around fourteen months by the time all other children, are walking part of you wants to be patient. Be like my little really happy. Crawling like good for them that there are chill baby on, they're gonna fly within three months, so Jill. Yeah, exactly. But then the other part of you was like, well at what point are they delayed, and I should get like a specialist involved in these are live questions in our life, or you're sitting with your child while they're doing homework, and you're like how long do I let them struggle before? I, I give them some instruction like how much teaching them about discipline or how much like letting them frustrate themselves. So these I think are really delicate balances in. I just think that Dumbledore at some point should have done a an intentions, Chuck on himself, and I think he would have found out earlier that his intentions were about avoidance. They were not about Harry, he just didn't want to do the dirty work that he. Himself had started. And again, like I forgive Dumbledore for that for like loving, Harry more than he and -ticipant of loving him and wanting to watch him be a child for another minute. And like, I think those are beautiful instincts, but it has really dire consequences. The other thing I'm many thinking about is how often kind of in inactive ISM and social change work. There's a real sense of urgency, an immediate need for something to happen, which is obviously. True. And when you speak to kind of elders. People who've been in that work for a long time. They often have a much longer view, a sense that Justice and change happens over decades doesn't happen in a moment. And I'm suddenly seeing the way in which, you know, the battle between Harry vulnerable is one that goes back generations suddenly to his parents and oversee the order Phoenix, but to some extent the good and evil battle is his oldest time. And I wonder if Dumbledore might have had a chance to tell most story. Days and not just doubled up at the rest of the order. At least Tomo stories about how it was before to help. Harry feel like even though this information is going to implicate him Husni a really intense way that somehow having this longest span of time would give him more patience with himself as he struggles with things like all Clementi knowing that maybe lupin really struggled with the coming away will other things. I, I really love this idea that, you know, social changes it's not a sprint, but it's not even a marathon, it's a relay race. Right. Like that we hand it from one generation to another doubled. Our talks up that right says older people forget, what it's like to be young. Oh my goodness. Yes. Like at our peril he's like I forgot what it was like to be young. And because of that, I withheld information I shouldn't have casper. I wanna take us back to the very beginning of the chapter because to me, it was just such a perfect embodiment of resented patients, so. Hairy, like going out of his mind with grief, right? The tech says he couldn't bear to think about it any longer, and he is just trapped in double doors office. And Dumbledore isn't even there. They're like not talking about it. And he's nothing to do. Right. Like there's just nothing he can do, but be in this room, and that made me think of the moments in which time is going to take its time, regardless of whether or not you are calm about it. And I don't know if that is forced patients or something else if that's like a container of time in which you can still only be experiencing impatience just thinking about like the times you spend in a waiting room awesome. But you loves having surgery the time that you're waiting to hear back from a job right there. These periods of time in which there's nothing that you can do, but wait is at the same thing as patients such a good question, because it really struck me that Harry's response is he's throwing things around. He's kind of breaking stuff and I feel like this happens to be all the time when I'm on hold, for example, and I'm waiting to speak to a customer service agent, or I'm in line for something, and it's taking forever an eye will notice if I have enough energy own notice a choice that I have, which is like either gonna resent this, and I'm gonna be stewing, and I'm going to be angry, which frankly happens pretty often, and that's what's happening to Harry. But there are other times when maybe I had a good sleep the night before I'm able to be like, okay, we're gonna be for as long as it takes. Let me think about nice though. It's let me look at everyone and try to find something nice about what that wearing there are moments when I'm not imprisoned by that time. And actually, I feel like I can be patient. But I don't think it happens automatically. I think you can be impatient for a long time while you're waiting freight, so waiting and patients isn't the same thing. Right. I think so there have just been moments in my life. Specifically when my dad was sick. The second. Time and we were old enough to know that he was like in brain surgery. But brain, surgery is long. I guess I remember thinking there's nothing I can do about this time. And like a piece came over me the was almost like surrender. And I know that, that amount of time can also create complete impatience because there have been times specifically on airplanes, where I've been in pain and just continue to make myself more and more anxious, more and more agitated being like I'd need to be on the ground. Yeah. I'm wondering what you make about these containers of time is patients, just about surrendering to the unknown or I love that. I love that. You'll connecting patients to surrender because that's what it feels like to me is like you letting go of control. Right. Patients means that even if the action is on you like practicing your clarinet you still not in control of how good you are the clarinet you have to surrender. And so I that's what I'm going to ask myself. Next time I'm in a long line is like. Am I okay to surrender because choosing to be patient? Feels somehow abstract and also myself, can I surrender to note being in charge right now? Yes. Oh, no doubt feels like a question. I can answer little kids are the best way for me to be called to surrender to patients. There's something about kids that can make me feel inspired to surrender. Let's just do this. But again, I think this gets back to the first point we made. And it's that it feels purposeful. It's that every moment with a child to me. I'm like, well, I'm like teaching them that love is sitting next to someone. I'm sitting with them as like folds, get put on their frontal lobe, and I'm like able to surrender, because I understand what the purpose is also one day they will look up to me, as I h. Explicitly think that, but I should start to be a better on d if I do. So here's my question, then Vanessa, which is my sister is so fricken good at that, and I am not like yeah. My sister, Laura is so patient, like she's so great with kids vegetable. But also just toss up take cat and attention and tension to detail specifically for which frankly, just get I really wanted and frustrated, much more quickly. And so, I feel like yes Papas part of it. But there's also something just about on natural inclination. Maybe like, is this a house thing? I mean, people who are patient are better people than we are. That's basically the conclusion, I think it's like about a surrender of ego. Right. And so you believe that what the thing that you're working on more important than you and your sense of compliment. I think that patience is wise, end not ego driven. And you and I are. Immature vapid children. Sign up to up on. And I also think that I miss out on a lot because I'm not patient, which is part of why I wanna to work on it. Like I bet that, Laura, for example, really appreciates like looking at embroidery, or like appreciates craftmanship, or like notices flowers more, or I started taking more of an interest in plants. And since I have this has been the most rewarding spring, that I've ever experienced I've realized, I'm like, oh, all these flowers, get to enjoy people of landscape to them, and people planted them like years in advance in order for them to be this big and flowering this much, and I've never enjoyed spring more. I just think that patients is often rewarded in so Laura wins, will, and people who patient, I think, sometimes look at people like you amazing, gosh, maybe I should be more impatient. You know, because it moves things foster or sometimes, you know other things possible when you when you don't allow things to happen at the rim pace. So I. I will trust that. Our listeners wherever they full spectrum of patients were impatience can understand the value of the opposite side, which to me, just says this is why we need each other because you need that balance patience and impatience and to have the choice fullness between the two. Support for Harry Potter. 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And we see that his stuff fixes itself as when we came in all the stuff that was broken before, is fix. So like, Harry's, not gonna be any injury dumble doors going to love him. And sometimes, I think you need to put someone in a padded room, so they won't hurt themselves. And so they won't hurt other people while they are in pain. Think that's exactly what's happening. I mean how is overwhelmed with emotion? Obviously, we're in old caps, Harry mode. He saying things like if had enough. I mean, I'm worried for Harry's safety of what he would do to himself in this moment. He is feeling so responsible. He's feeling. He's the architect of series is death. No one understands. Like I can imagine how you doing something that he might really regret later, and that certainly as someone who is responsible for. A Harry's wellbeing as Dumbledore is in this moment, I think, has the responsibility to stay with Harry and what I really, really loved throughout this shop to is that Dumbledore is taking responsibility. He saying it's my fault that serious died. I made a mistake. And so even if how he feels like logically. That's not true. At least he's hearing someone else express love and calf serious. Take seriously, Harry's pain and suffering. But then also take responsibility for it, which, which at least in some way, I hope would help Harry feel completely responsible. I think it's justified I think he's doing the right thing. Yeah, I can't imagine doing it in exactly the way that you describe it, right. I can imagine sort of locking student in a room and till I can get the mental health professional because they have expressed a desire to hurt themselves or hurt someone else. Right. I can imagine standing in a doorway and certain circumstances. Yeah. I guess you've convinced me that it is one of those circumstances. I think the other. Way of read it is that he's locked Harry into this room to confess and is making Harry his priest serving Dumbledore is needs to kind of unbutton himself rather than Harry's needs. Yeah. But I'm compelled by your read. I think the difference for me would be is if Dumbledore had locked hurry into a room without Dumbledore also being that if it had been kind of confinement in a way that felt imprisoning rather than accompanying. No, because I feel like if someone just broke up with me, and I'm mad and I have so many feelings, and they don't wanna hear them, and I locked them in, and that they have to hear all my feelings. Right. Like that. That's wrong. That's kidnapping. Right. That is holding someone against their wishes. It's about whose needs are being served, and, and if the person being locked up against their will is the person being served. Then I think it's fine. And if the person being locked up against their will is not the. One being served. Then I think it's imprisonment and unethical in. I think Dumbledore is potentially doing sleight of hand of pretending that he's being served by this moment, of, like I am unburdening myself when really what he's doing it. Every single turn is taken care of Harry. I just hope that he's really thinking that through the four, he locks area on this choices never easy. I mean, we know people who have been forcibly taken into a mental hospital, for example. And you know, in that moment, God willing doing it because this person really needs treatment, and, and, you know, longer able to support them, and they need professional calf that can also do real damage. An really sky someone. And so, I think there's also this question of, you know, is it for that wellbeing in this very moment? And also the kind of long time cost benefit analysis that you have to do in those split seconds, which which just very, very difficult to do. So I, I don't wanna make light of, of how challenging that decision can be. When you're making on behalf of someone else. And I just see, I guess the reason that I brought it up in terms of patients is that Dumbledore seem so calm in the face of Harry, trying to best out, and it seems as though Dumbledore is actually, requiring physically requiring patients from Harry. He's like you don't wanna hear this, but you have no way out unit thinking about this now. My mom did this to us is children. I came down the stairs, one morning and I started teasing my brother David, who was sitting on the couch looking miserable, and I was like what's wrong with you? And he put his hand up and went don't start mardi took me on a car ride, and even though we had not like named it that in that moment. I knew exactly what he meant, which is my mom would be like, come pick up bagels with me, come to the dry cleaner with me, and it was her locking. You win a car to have a serious conversation with you. And you can't do like you can't roll out of the car. And so my mom would do this all the time, she would pull a Dumbledore and force. Lock in a car to have an awkward conversation with us. That's what I'm gonna call it from now on doing a double though. We still call it a car ride, 'cause sometimes mom mom will do a car right on you not physically in a car. You know, he'll be in a bathroom corridor, and she'll corner, you and you're like, is this a car ride? Finesse this week, we are doing lect, yo I'm really excited because this is truly my favorite spiritual practice and here is the sentence when my finger landed did I believe that voluble was gone forever. So let's think of stage one, which is just think narrative what's happening in the story as we encounter the sentence. Did I believe that voltage was gone forever? Yeah. So Dumbledore is in the middle of his, like expository monologue. And he is explaining to Harry why he put Harry with the doors lease. And in part, this is a rhetorical question in what she says. No, I did not think that voldemort has gone forever. And so I thought you still needed production, ten points, huddled puff, right? Thank you. So let's think then to the next allegory oracle level, which is to stop thinking about stories, images or songs just anything that we're reminded of by the words in the sentence. Did I believe that Volta mole was gone forever? So generally my thought was Hsieh's amazing nineteen Ninety-Eight hit believe. Do you believe in life after love? I'm always get the woods or I think it's love off to life, which is a very different song. It's a very different song. But in some way, relates to vote like is that live off to love voldemort desperately seeking life and has lost a love. Can we talk about why you knew what year the song believed by share came out? This is really indicative moment of my life. I was in middle school and Adam Braverman was a friend and we would go to his house 'cause I could watch friends at his house, and it was a really exciting time because outta also quite handsome, and I didn't fully understand what that meant to me at the time. But I think it was knees eve his house and like my family newsy by playing board games and throwing molten lead in water and seeing what shape it was like we didn't have loud music and that. Kind of thing. So Adams house was very exciting. What other images will will stories songs does this connect for you to did. I believe that foldable was gone for EPA. The word believe, also is what struck me and it speaks to me that, like, Dumbledore thought that like the evidence was clear that Volmer was not gone forever in that everybody celebration was actually about faith and desire in not about truth, and that he probably could have spoken out all those years ago and been linked voldemort is not gone, but he sort of thought the people needed their faith, and that it was better to hope that they were right while secretly believing that they weren't would so interesting as I'm now seeing parallels between fudge and Dumbledore in the sense that, you know, fudge is being unwilling to believe the vulnerables returned, but dumble kinda didn't wanna tell people, the truth either, all, perhaps, if generous didn't think people would believe. Him. And so he'd be, you know, loft out of the classroom, but I think, again, we see Dumbledore biggest fault is that he doesn't want more people in right? Because he knew he knew he didn't just not believe that. Okay. So then step threes to think about on experience. What does this sentence, remind you of in your own life? Did I believe that Volta was gone forever? What it reminds me of in my own life for the mistakes that I've made that I forget about. Because what's so clear here is that Dumbledore is holding his own feet to the fire in his holding account for himself, an I feel like I make mistakes. And maybe because I'm impatient as we talked about, I make them so quickly that like there's never this moment of reflection where I'm like, oh, did I make that mistake? And so, I guess, just making me feel again, the like virtue of patients and slowness, but so interesting, my, my mind went to memory as well. And the fact that sometimes people tell you stories about yourself, and I will simply not remember that, that even happened. And it's maybe this is the experience of getting older is just like you forget, more right about your own life. And so if this was like, Ted, I believe that full gone forever. Like what did I actually believe in, when I was seventeen I'm having this moment? Now. That really is a generation below me that's like the next wave of young climate activists. And they are doing amazing things around the sunrise movement, and the green new deal. And I look at them, and I'm like, did I believe the things that they believe like I actually cannot remember, you know, did I think that I was a piece of the puzzle that I think that, you know what we would doing was exactly right? I generally have forgotten. So I'm just struck that perhaps Dumbledore saying, like, did I believe the vote was gone forever. And then he's like, oh, yeah. No, I didn't. Let them to your third. It's a happy place to be. I just forget about all the things that I did wrong. Okay. So then the final question is to think about what the text might be asking us. What can we learn? What action can we take that is inspired by this snippet of text? I'll read it won't small, did, I believe that foldable was gone forever of this is interesting. I have always really struggled and I don't read the bible at all. But that phrase that the poll will always be with you. That, that comes from the Christian, New Testament, and in some ways, it's resonating with me, as an action to remember, which is like. Whatever we do is humans, and whatever we try and change like that will still to some extent, evil in the world in part because there's evil in us, not a big theological statement to make. But I, I like that idea that it not that it, let's any of us off the hook. But to be a little forgiving of ourselves if things don't work out perfectly we on able to do everything that we have hoped to do because vulnerable is gonna be around. I didn't know that something I guess that's the action, I wanna take to just keep reminding myself that, you know, win navigating to build the perfect weld. What about you, Vanessa I guess, I, I feel called to forgive myself? I look back a moment in which I was naive with such shame. We're I'm like, I one point believed that Fulmer was gone. Like that is something that would cause tremendous amount of shame in media. Remember and so I just don't think about those things I think the thing to do. Is to remember them in forgive myself. Thanks finesse. Nisa. This week's voicemail is from K Lena mills. Hey guys, my name is kaylene a-. I was just listening to one of your episodes, and it struck me that you pronounce Baltimore name as Volta more. I know this is how J K Rowling intended the name to be pronounced, but it's not very common in the Harry Potter fandom. So when I noticed your pronunciation, I started thinking about the origin of that name, and it translates to walk from death. And we know this is the defining character trait of all damore, you know, he continually runs from death. But what was even more striking to me was that this is the exact opposite of how Harry stays alive at the end of book seven in order to keep living. He actively walks to death. He walks into the forbidden forest to die. And in fact, this is how he survives all of his battles against voldemort in books, one two four five, and seven even in book four in a he didn't exactly walk to death. He didn't intend to end up in the graveyard, but he has a moment where he's hiding behind a gravestone and debates whether to run for the Cup and try and escape. And he decides in the end to turn around and walk to Baltimore unfazed him directly. So I've just been thinking about how in each of Harry's battles with all damore he wins by walking actively towards death rather than from death. He's very consistently the opposite evolved Amort in this way. And so the message that I'm taking away from this reflection is that the only way to get what I want in life. And to be who I want to be is to walk towards the things that scare me. So I want to offer a blessing for Harry for showing me that I can only step into my truth and self actualize by pushing myself into uncomfortable, maybe scary situations, and I want to offer a blessing for all the people that do that in the world, like the black lives matter, activists who stare down barrels of guns at rallies, like teach. Shire's across the country who are striking at risk of losing their job. Like Breen Newsome who climbed the flagpole in South Carolina to tear down the confederate flag. All of these people walked boldly into spaces in which they're incredibly vulnerable. And I want to bless all the people who do that. I want to be more like that. You all inspire me. Sokaiya lena. I really appreciate the place that you come to. I actually want to push back on you about your premise, which is you say at the beginning of your voice mail that Harry in order to keep living walks toward death. And I really disagree with that characterization, Harry walks toward death in order to die for his friends in order to save people. He does not do it in order to live. He happens to live, but that is very different. He's not doing it strategically to live. He is willing to die in black lives matters activists know that they can die that they can get arrested. What matters to me is that we have to know the risks to know whether or not they're worth taking Harry decides that it's worth taking the risk of dying or walking he thinks to his certain death because he's going to be able to save everyone. But if we. Think that walking toward the things that scare us is just a virtue in and of itself without taking stock of all the risks. We're going to take, I think that, that can lead to recklessness the other thing that I'm thinking about that is just a helpful tool that I think about when, when you're making a big decision is to is to kind of think about is this decision being motivated by Phero by love now. That's a very simplistic binary that Nabet quite encapsulates the fullness of the motivations for decision. But, you know, in, in a moment, like Harry Wilkins, the forest is such a love motivated decision of coast. He's afraid, but this sense of love for the people, his friends, and his his, you know, even his parents even than not that physically, that love is the of a powering motivation. And so, I really resonate with how you'll thinking about those kind of big decisions seven s it's time for us to bless someone from the pages of this chapter. Who are you blessing this week? I would like to offer blessing for petunia. We know how horrible she is in Dumbledore make space for that by saying like you arrive to us alive, not as well cared for or as nourished as we would like right? Like petunia malnourish is Harry, but she takes him and Dumbledore really mix clear to us that that was a choice that she made. And I obviously believe if you're going to be hospitable to someone you be completely hospitable to them. You don't say you can stay here, but I'm gonna be awful to you, but she takes a child at risk to herself. And it seems to me as though she did it in large part because Dumbledore said this child will have the protection of your blood. If you take him in, and even when she is confronted with the harsh realities that her biological son could get kissed by dementia. She keeps her promise and that just seem. Seems to be a promise of real integrity. I don't know why I feel like on some level. I always assume that there was some sort of threat involved from Dumbledore, but it doesn't seem that way. It seems as though there was like a if you do this, this child will be protected, and she's not gracious about it, but she doesn't. Blessing is a Harry this week, a move talked about him a lot this episode in the challenges that he has in his moment of overwhelm. That's really what I want to bless him for us, that he is unable to even put words to what he's feeling half the time when, when they're all weds, it's shouting, and it's all cops Harry, and I guess, to anyone who's feeling overwhelmed and trapped. And even if everyone's explanations, make sense in their intentions, a good. It doesn't feel good. And that's okay. And so, I hope you have a headmaster's office that you can trash without doing too much damage, because they'll be mended back together. Again. You've been listening to Harry Potter in the sacred tax, you can follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and you can join our Facebook group, the Harry Potter and the sacred texts common room with other listeners to chat about the episode or come enjoying the twelve hundred plus people supporting us on, and you can leave us a review on, I tunes sense of waste mail. We hope to see you at one of our live shows in New York City on September ninth and in Washington DC on November seven and in Saint Louis Missouri on December nineteenth next week, we'll have a live show from Indianapolis with John green reading, chump, to thirty aches loss chapter of the book, the second begins through the theme of love this episode was produced by sorry. Put actions are executive producers are on our associate producer is Chelsea us. And a music is by Nicole. I'm the pot of failed presents thanks to Lena. Mills voicemail. Julia AVI full Stephanie Pacelle, we'll see we'll next week. I. Casper, a piece of trivia for you about green sleeves. Oh, do you know that it's reported that Henry, the eighth wrote Greenslade? That's a factual era, correct. But I thought it would be strange if I had said to you casper. Did you know that Henry eighth didn't write greens leaves? So I was telling you, apparently people think that he did. But he didn't anyway. Little bit of trivia for our audience. Do you know what else Henry didn't do three cups? Yup. Just six wives. The. That's memory. Do not green sleeves pa- different. Discomfit for years. Andrew Lloyd Webber. He this is drew. I make sleep with me podcast. It's a time story podcast here Novell presents in Iselin. Tell you about the show. It's a podcast to help you fall asleep just like somebody Evan friend over to tell you lowing soothing strange meandering bedtime story. The reason I make two shows because I know how feels not to be able to sleep in. It's really important to me to, to try to bring some levity in comfort to the deep dark night. So I if you know how feels when you can't fall soup if you're tossing and turning in you're looking for something to take your mind off that just open up your podcast app and search for sleep with me and give it a listen. Thanks. PR axe.