EP53: Sexual Fetishes, Puberty, & Social Media Anxiety
For twenty five percent off your first order. Visit our expert dot com slash calm. Those and enter promo code condos at checkout. Hey, guys. Welcome to another episode of coffee combos. Hello lindsey. Good morning. Got my coffee ready again. I made. I'm actually podcasting from my bed today. Why guy sh- that sounds so cozy? Well, so yesterday went to the dentist, and I'm telling you, I was never one of those people that hated the dentist now. I hate it. I don't know because like all my life. I never really went to the dentist. My mom never had insurance for me. So like, I only went to the doctor or anything if I absolutely was about to die. So. I like when I finally did go to the dentist. I loved it. And I never had cabbies until I was an adult. So I kept getting this Email that I'm overdue for my cleaning, my cleaning my cleaning. So I finally go I was last week. Yeah. Right. Kill I text you. And I was like I'm making all my appointments, and you're like, you're probably like shit. I remember I need to go to the dentist. I haven't been in five years. Exactly. So I was like it was at least a year. So I was like, and it's crazy because I make sure that my kids go every six months like I don't ever like put them off. But when it comes to my appointments like I will push it off for months and months. So I go to the dentist regular cleaning. Not a deep cleaning not anything like that just a regular cleaning. And for whatever reason my mouth hurt so bad afterwards. Like, it was throbbing. I could not eat. It was like I used to be a dental assistant. So I know the difference between a regular cleaning and a deep cleaning and mine regular. So then they did tell me that I had a cavity. So it was like oh fuck. And. It was between my teeth because of lack of lossing, which we all know that we sometimes forget to flaws. And so I go yesterday, not only did I have to take valium to go because I was so freaking out, and I was afraid of feeling the paint. This is real shitty. No real. I'm used to never be afraid of the Dennis. I was like, oh, I got a cab. You like what do you do? You know, bang this out, and it's going to be on my lane. No, I was freaking the fuck out. And it was because I was afraid of feeling the pain. So I get to the dentist. They my mouth was fine. I didn't feel anything because I had the valium the novacaine whatever. And then the the numbing shit wears off and my mouth hurt so bad like I've never felt anything like it. And it wasn't my teeth like my teeth from the filling didn't hurt it was my jaw from holding my mouth open. And then like everything around it. It was the weirdest thing that I've never experienced. And I don't know if it's the dentist or I don't because hygenic me my mouth hurt too. I don't know long story short because I took the valium. I came home. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take a nap because tired, and I woke up at fucking eight thirty PM and was confused as to where I was and what the hell happened because it was dark outside. And I'm like what is life right now. Meanwhile, I've gone on about living my life all day yesterday, and text you and literally thought you might have fallen off a cliff is normally Millard we've found. Yeah. So I had planned last night. And it didn't work because I don't have the kids. Week. So I didn't get to go through the plans because I want to sleep for four hours. So. And then I once I was up, and I realized I upload my podcast files. I had to do that. I had some cleaning up around the house I had to do and I couldn't sleep again because I had just slept for four hours. So I ended up not going to sleep until midnight. So I'm like, I will never I can't do this again. Meanwhile at midnight last night. Well, it was a little before midnight. I would say like eleven fifteen I'm laying in the bed sending kill text about if she believes in alliens, right? I did see that. And I was like what the fuck what am I what is life like a what is this? Then what kind of question and who asked that at eleven thirty at night. Oh my gosh. Which what is the answer? Do you believe in alliens like what are you thinking? Okay. So I'm just going to be one hundred per cent, honest about this. I was going down another one of those like rabbit holes. And I saw where these people have fetishes about aliens. What do you mean like sexual fetishes and how they're supposed to have like big, you know, what? And like. They have dildos or something like that. That are supposed to be like alien once. No, no. I saw this. And it made me think do 'Lions exist. Are they even real? And honestly, I thought your answer would be yes. Because I feel like you're more of like a science believer. So I thought that you would have said, yes. But that really wasn't your answer. No. I know. It's so weird. Because my friend Becky asked me this last week. She asked me the exact same question. And I maybe she saw the exact same. Maybe she went into the sex shop, and it's all things. Oh, my answer. Is that I do believe that there's life forms on other planets, but not necessarily aliens. I'm not sure what the life forms would be. But I don't know that they're like aliens. I don't know if that's a thing. I just don't think that there's any other life forms that might sound ignorant. But think about it this way, it's thinking about it this way before us, there was fucking dinosaurs. Like fucking dinosaurs existed. Lindsey like what the hell I that's so like. It's crazy to think about like these huge things. And then like they went extinct, and then I don't know was anything on the planet after that. It's very crazy to think about honestly because if you ever go to a museum or whatever, and they have skeletons or bones, or whatever I'm thinking to myself. Okay. This could be like a total lie and like a complete made up thing. But we would have no way of knowing. Like were they even real they had to have been those files and bones indefinitely believed that they're they were real like, I definitely believe in dinosaurs. But I'm just saying there's really no true way for us to like really prove it. Yeah. But like all the continents used to be put together also, which is also very strange. So maybe there is like other life out there. I just don't know. I don't really think about it. You know what I mean? It's not like a doll. This is my mind often. I definitely I definitely think there is because after the dinosaurs. And then obviously there were creatures after that. But like to think about like, you know, all of that stuff, but the dinosaurs were like the main creatures right that we know about so. And then here we are like sixty five million years later so life is like being recreated in different forms, and so I feel like other maybe not in our galaxy. But maybe in other galaxies like Shirley, there has to be life somewhere. And I mean, maybe maybe there is for me. It's very hard to wrap my small brain around. Dinosaurs, roaming around were that large. Yeah. Like, it's very hard for me to be like. Oh, wow. That was something that actually existed I actually used to have one of my best friends. She used to be on the show to I'm not going to engineer name. But she did not know she didn't know that the dinosaurs were real like she thought that the it was all just like a fake make believe. Yeah. Like, she thought it was like make believe like these were museums to see the dinosaurs like for entertainment. She didn't know that it was like a real thing. Well, they were a real thing. But I'm not so sure about aliens. And I think it's very strange like there's some very strange people in this world. I'm one of them, but not strange, and in these types of ways, but to have fetish about aliens that you don't even know this is just really weird. I mean, but the same thing goes for people that have like a foot fetish like foot feet exist. And that's still weird. I mean. Yeah. All better shes are like pretty weird. But I'm just saying something that you have no way of knowing if it's even real real. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of fetishes, though. Okay. Like when I first started Christly knows best. And it was like the new thing. I would get these brand of emails from people asking me about your underwear. Yeah. About my underwear and shoes like high heels. Did you get these? No, I did get one about underwear. And then also I wanna say it was Chelsea. And I I don't remember. It was me and somebody else is like older man lived in Pennsylvania wrote us letters to our homes. Wow. And like was like requesting certain things, I think it was Chelsea I don't I'm pretty sure it was Chelsea. And I like freaked the fuck out what is wrong with people like this person. It was the same person that was emailing me. But this person was offering thousands of dollars to a pay pal account for high heels and a pair of underwear. No. And I'm like, obviously, I know what they're going to be doing with them. So that went straight to my delete folder. But yes, absolutely. It's just weird that somebody would even feel comfortable enough. It amazes me people in this world at the level that people are so comfortable to ask certain things to people that they don't even know that blows my mind. I just can't fucking can't. I don't have a fetish. Like, I don't think I'm a weird person. I don't do things that are weird. So like, I can't relate Hugh say this all the time that you don't do things that are weird. But I feel like you do weird stuff. I really don't. There. The only thing that I can think of that as super weird that I do is like I have an had very sensitive to smells me too. I hate go. If you. Yeah, I hate smells. But also like my person like whoever I'm with like, our smell the fuck out of them. Like, I love to smell them. So that's kind of like a fetish. Yeah. I think I would say I would definitely borderline fetish e. Like, yeah. That's like the one thing. That is weird about me. Okay. So you guys know that I love to mix up my son and with the season change and cozy weather I like to wear more sweet and natural sense. And that's why I use the luxury brand subscription service called sent bird every month. You can choose a new fragrance from over four hundred and fifty designer brands and right now, I'm on a big kick. I love bamboo by Gucci. I take it everywhere. 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So like when you meet somebody though. Okay. Just like let's say it's like the first time that you meet them. What is the first thing that you look at when you meet a person there? Smile thirteenth. Okay. Yes. I look at but their teeth to but I have noticed that a smell. Can make attracted to someone. But also, I've only had to like when Chris and I were together. I feel like in the beginning. He didn't really have a sense that I noticed. You know what I mean? So it must have been either his personality or his looks that dri win. So it was something else. Yeah. But. Yeah. Other than that. I don't have any weird fetishes. I'm not just don't have cable. I will tell you what really creeps me out. And I wanted to know if this creeps other people out to because I know I can't be the only person that thinks of this. But I was in the grocery store on Sunday. And this happens all the time. But on Sunday, I was just Schroll and through the produce section and all of a sudden, I turn the corner, and I see this man with like pajama looking clothes on and a pair of those slides. I prefer if men are going to wear slides or something like that they need to put on a pair of socks because I don't wanna see their fee like it is just. Yeah. You know, what I don't I feel like if men were slides, they should definitely wear the socks. Also. I just think it's like nasty, especially in the grocery store of all places because I'm trying to pack my produce, and I see this man with a size nineteen shoe coming at me with toes that are like over go by hanging on your side. Like, it's like they're on a ledge. And like they're hanging. Like, criminals me out, even as a girl. I don't really love to wear my like my slides specifically without socks. It's just kind of weird. And I used to think all the time growing up when I saw people do that. I was like why are you wearing sandals with socks like it's weird. Right. And now that I'm not a kid anymore. And I'm not having to look at kid feet. And I see adults doing it. I'm like, okay. You really need to throw on a pair of socks because that's weird. But so funny because the other day I was dropping off the baby with Chris. And I don't know we talked about being barefoot, I love to be barefoot like as soon as I if I wear sneakers, which I have a ton of sneakers, or if I wear boots or something the first thing, I do when I get home is take off my socks and shoes. Like, I am barefoot, and I will go outside of my yard barefoot. And I will be barefoot. I don't care my kids go way. So Chris was getting irritated because the baby loves to be barefoot. Like if we put socks and shoes on him in the car. He's taking his shoes off right because I just love to be barefoot in like, we have the trampoline outside that's in the ground. So they have to have their there's and shoes off in the baby jumps and stuff. So. The baby was outside barefoot and Chris's grandma's the same way like she was telling me how she loves to be barefoot to and Chris hates it. He will not show his feet like he wears socks all the time. So she was like Christmas grandma was like I haven't seen Christmas feet since he was three years old. I'm like, that's how mentioned be that's how they should. They should keep their socks on. Nobody wants to see their feet that is so funny. So just Chris how ugly fee is that? Why he covers them? No. He doesn't even have ugly feet like he just doesn't have ugly feet. So I'm so I don't know why he does locks has the cutest like Fateh, Maui Maui feet. Yeah. I love his there. So like packed in like factor. Shonky I know smoke my Mike, none of my kids have ugly fee. I mean, I I think has like flat feet, but like my kids don't really have ugly. Can you were about to be like well Isaac has ugly fee? I was going to be like five. No, he's I think they're flat. But they're not ugly. Like, he didn't none of my kids ugly feet. Gosh. Well, speaking of ugly feet. So we'll not I started dating dating. I would go over and watch movies, or we would just, you know, hang out. I don't know what would be doing. But we would just be hanging out. And every time I went over. He always had on like these thick asks socks, and they're like wool like big Saux. And I'm like thinking to myself. I would never ask him because you know, we're just starting to talk and like kind of dating but not officially dating. But like kind of and I just thought. Not that wouldn't be something that I would ask him like why he's wearing thick asks wool socks. Like, I don't know. Maybe he's cold or something. So he would always wear these. And I thought it was so strange, and even it would be like an summertime, and he would have on like long thick socks. And I'm like, okay. Something just weird. Like, maybe he's missing toes like something is going on. And it was because he was ashamed of his feet like he hates his feet. And I thought your first thought was that he was missing toes. I've thought of a lot of things, but I was like maybe that's what it is. Like, maybe he doesn't want me to see or something. And so I finally like saw his feet, and I mean, he's got huge feet. We'll has a size fourteen. So like, no wonder he was trying to cover them up. But yeah, he told me that like back in the day that he would never wear like flop. Or like open toed shoes because he hated what is feet looked like. And so that's why he was wearing socks for that whole time. Well, now does he go barefoot or he still wear socks DeAnne? Now, he goes barefoot and doesn't care and I'm like, jeez. I wish you cared. Sometimes. I just. Not really gross out by unless they're disgusting and most men fee are just weird. Yeah. Like, they're weird shaped. Okay. 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Mom when she gets up like what are the things that she does. And I know that we've talked about it before that, you know, check your phone brush your teeth. Blah, blah, blah. But okay. My main question is is do you make your bed in the morning before you start cutting? No fuck note. Absolutely. The fuck not fertile. Vanni? You do I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest with you. I sure I get up check my phone. But last week, I forgot to brush my teeth. What? Yes, I've left the house. And I realized when I got in the car to take Lincoln a school that I forgot to brush my teeth because I'm tell you why I don't really have a routine besides physically getting out of the bed because my mornings are not typical. Sometimes I make coffee and sometimes I don't have time. And sometimes my kids eat muffins on the way to the bus stop. And sometimes they eat cereal because there's enough time. Sometimes. I just I can't. Are you just that much like not a morning person that you're just like, okay? I just need to do. Whatever is the obligation and like nothing more in the morning. Yes. But by time. I don't. Yeah. Because here's the thing. There was. I don't remember maybe it was like two months ago. What month are we in right now? We're in October. So yeah, I guess the beginning of this year. I started sending setting alarm clock for Isaac because I was tired of getting up an arguing with him to get up right now. I set I set an alarm clock about fifteen minutes before he supposed to get up, and I put it across the room. So we get up to turn it off. Like, that's I don't want him hitting snooze. We're not passing go collecting two hundred dollars like get up. So that way that will keep me an extra fifteen minutes to do whatever I need to do with Lincoln and logs while Isaac is getting up, but sometimes the baby wakes up before the other boys, and sometimes he wakes up after sometimes everybody wakes with the same time. There also have been mornings where Isaac goes and gets Lincoln gets lucked out of the crib and they're all eating breakfast downstairs by time. I p and brush my teeth. So there's no such thing as a typical morning in this house. Well, first of all, I just. I wanted to say that Isaac is like a perfect child. No, he's not. But he is. But he's not well because you find small things because you're his mom. So you find like the little things but from an outsider looking in. He's very good like with the other boys, and like being helpful. I feel like yeah. I mean, he it's crazy because I would have thought that when I had Lux just based on the situation that the boys would have been have reacted more negatively towards it. Just because you know, Kristen is relationship was kinda rocky. It was you know, Chris was not in the picture for eight months. Like, you would think that they would maybe almost have a little bit of resentment towards the baby because this baby came and now I have to split my time three ways. And you know, I'm giving the baby a lot of attention because babies and toddlers need that. But is it loves looks and Lincoln loves looks so much that they just it's not even it's almost second nature. Isaac like Lincoln is almost loves them so much. He's too rough. Where like Isaac is just it's just second nature. Like, I will literally be brushing my teeth, and I hear him go into the baby's room and get him out of the crib. That's so sweet that and I don't even it's like things like that. That makes me want to have another baby. Oh, yeah. I just I was very lucky in that sense. But in other like Isaac definitely has an attitude that people don't see because typically he doesn't like he doesn't film when we like he won't film and have an attitude typically or like around other people, but I'm like, the attitude that he has I'm like, I know that that was me when I was eight years old. Honestly on my gosh, kale. I can't you know, what I talked to. I she's like family. I talked to this family friend that I've had literally since I was like a toddler, and she has two boys and they're fifteen and I want to fifteen and eleven so the same age gap is Isaac in Lincoln, and we were on the phone for like twenty minutes yesterday talking about seriously, how bad these boys stink like having boys, smells, so bad. I there's an just talking about like hygiene. And like, I feel bad that I have to get onto my boys about like showering and deodorant and brushing your teeth, and this and that because I'm like, I I want these habits these good hygiene habits to follow them through. Adulthood. She's talking about how bad boy stink like, they smell, really bad. Well, so I want to ask you if you questions about that. But my morning routine is much different than I think a lot of people's, but don't hawk it up to the fact that I have one child. So like my life is not nearly as chaotic as yours because you've got three things going three different ways at all time. So in the morning I wake Jackson up. He showers comes down seared has his vitamins eats breakfast. I fix his lunch. Go upstairs, kind of get myself semi ready or presentable to take him to school make my bed in his bed. And then maybe start a load of laundry or something like that. And then head out the door to school. I know that's not typical. But I find a lot I find that. I get a lot of things accomplished in the morning like in that small amount of time. And I think it's just because. I'm so like Uber focused and tie like Thomas sensitive. So I know that I only have like X amount of time to get those things done. So I try to like rush through those things and it's off the list by the time. I get him dropped off his school. Okay. You know, what I didn't have the kids when I woke up this morning. But when I woke up this morning, I brush my teeth may and my coffee empty, the dishwasher took my trash out. Let the dogs out for the dogs. Like, I did a lot in about an hour. I got a lot of stuff done I straight in the living room when I have the kids here. I just I don't I can't that's praying. I only have one. So it's different. I am surprised though that you're not that you don't get ready before could you said that you do everything. And then you get ready. Yeah. And it kind of depends sometimes in the wintertime when it's cold Jackson takes a shower first, and then comes down to yours eats breakfast. But normally like at the beginning of the school year before it gets cold heeds breakfast and then showers, so I kind of like flip my routines based on win. He showering my kids will not they don't none of us really shower, and I'll show her in the morning sometimes, but my kids definitely shower at night. Right. But we don't that makes me think about the hygiene thing. Okay. So when is it appropriate for boys to start wearing deodorant? And when do they need it? So my situation is a little bit different because I don't really want to exploit my son or anything like that. But. He he's already going through puberty and he's been going through for about. Year and a half two years now. Oh, so Isaac already is going through all of that. Yeah. Did you go through? You know, I didn't go through. I got my period when I was like, twelve okay? And what about Joe he go through puberty early? No. Wow. So I in my opinion. I do think that it's just a lot of like the chemicals the GMO's the things that we eat our environment. Like things are just not as healthy. Right. Yeah. No. So he does have to get like an x Ray of his hand. His wrist rather where they check like all of that kind of the growth and stuff like that. So isaac. We did Joan I started like a year two years ago. We did try like the more natural deliverance and stuff like that. But those that in. They didn't really work. So is wearing to Lincoln's about to be five and he's not. But also Isaac does play sports like Isaac student jitsu in basketball. So he's got to wear it. And it's hard. You know, you've got kids that are in all different life. As is like is it going through puberty, and then a five year old, and then locks who's getting into everything? So right now, that'd be really hard. I just I didn't know when people started introducing their kids to deodorant and stuff like that. I know that for Jackson he'll be six and at the end of December. And I have switched over from the kids toothpaste to the meant toothpaste just because I feel like it's a natural transition to get him used to using that. I want him using that full-time when he starts kindergarten just because the kids toothpaste, I don't really feel like it freshens breath. Oh, so yeah. That's the thing that we're struggling with over here too. Because I feel. Like Isaac needs the more the mint one like the adult toothpaste, but Lincoln's not there yet. But because they use the same bathroom. It's like, well, why does he get to use that one in? I have to use this. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. So then that's hard to. Yeah. But I'm not I I've actually been letting them use my toothpaste because I feel like it's Minty. But it's a good transition one. Oh, yeah. See that's what I use to use the quip. And you know, what I thought about that actually the other week whenever I was using it. And then I just never gave it to him because I had missed toothpaste in his I just I thought about it whenever I was brushing my teeth, and then it was like a thought that just like passed, but yeah, good idea because it's it's Minty. But it's a good transition one to like more dull toothpaste agreed. Agreed. I'll try that one of the most important things that we do for Health Day is brushing our teeth yet. Most of us do not do it properly until quip. Was brushing all of the wrong ways not for long enough. And I forgot to change out the brushes on time. And that's because most brands focus on selling flashy gimmicks rather than better brushing, but not quip. I love the multi use cover that mounts to your mirror and announce to slide on as a cover over the bristles for on the go, traveling which Lindsey, and I do all the time. We just feel like why should you cut her up? 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You'll get your first refill pack for free. With the electric toothbrush. That's the first refill pack for free at get quip dot com slash coffee. GATT Q U IP dot com slash coffee. Speaking of that, those types of things I've I've noticed that. I'm struggling a lot with like. And I might have talked about talked about this before because is the oldest. And he he does know right versus wrong more than the other two. But I noticed that I'm struggling with parts of like life's not fair. What one brother gets the other one might not want? You know what I mean? So it's like stuff just as little as like the toothpastes. Like why why do I have to use this in Lincoln doesn't or why does Lincoln get to do that? And I don't and I'm struggling with that. Like, I don't want one of my kids to think I'm favoring the other. And I think that because is the oldest that sometimes he feels that way. And I don't know how to navigate that. Well, and also because it doesn't seem to be a problem with looks like they both fully understand that Lux is a fulltime job with an with an insult like Lincoln knows luck. Takes a lot of my time. If I'm busy doing something with the baby he doesn't I don't get the sense that he feels resentful. I don't get an attitude or. Back or anything like that. And same goes for Isaac. But when it comes to Isaac in Lincoln, right? I feel like they. They both feel some type of way. We'll what is why does he get to do it? And I don't why are you with him? And not me like I'm struck because you have to consider too that even though there's a decent gap between Isaac and Lincoln. They still do play together. And they're old enough to argue. So the difference between that is a completely different makeup as far as relationship than with the baby. Because obviously, they are not going to sit and argue with the baby because he doesn't know any better. So I think that just like the relationship in general is much different with those two. And the fact if Isaac is going through puberty, everything is kind of an argument during that time. So, you know, they find small little things too. Pick up on to just bring attention to. And I know that everything for me. I feel like time is a huge thing being a mom and everything can't be a conversation. And I tried to explain that to Jackson like, I don't want to be the mom that says you have to do this. And when he says why I don't want to be the mom. That's like because I said, so, but like kind of you know, right? Like, you can't explain it just is what it is that. That's just what it is. Yeah. Like, you can't have the time to explain every single thing and pick apart every single thing. Like at the end of the day. It's just toothpaste, and it's if it becomes a bigger issue than at that point. It can become a conversation. But Isaac you are how old Isaac eight is eight he'll be nine in January. You're eight and Lincoln five and this toothpaste is for kids that are one to five this toothpaste is for kids that are over five years old, right? Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's that's just what it is. Yeah. Because it's. Dinner. It'll show you like on the thing. If you read any of the facts like what the recommended ages are for certain things. Everything's an argument Lindsey at this house and everything and it's like because I recently I talked about it before I recently Isaac and his own room. But the playroom is attached to Lincoln's room before I moved before I moved Isaac into the room. I said who wants to say in this room and who wants to leave like who wants to go in the other room? So I was ready to move into the other room. He didn't care that the play room was attached to Lincoln's room. So that like wasn't like a jealousy resentment thing, however, when it comes to cleaning the room, well icicle be like that's not my room, that's Lincoln's room. Like he doesn't want to clean up the playroom. Right. But then you have to go into the conversation of okay Isaac. I understand that you too have totally separate bedrooms. However, I'm not asking you to clean Lincoln's room. I'm asking you to clean the playroom that is attached to Lincoln's room. This is no longer an argument. Yeah. It's just I never I guess I never put to like I never thought. Okay. Maybe him going through puberty is the reason for all the argument. Right. Yeah. No. I definitely or maybe it's just the age or maybe just brothers because like I'll talk to people who have siblings and stuff, and I actually talked to. Chris was little cousin. She's got two brothers. And she was like, no, we never snitched on each other. You never told on each other. We always back each other up and their ages. Are fairly close to Isaac in Lincoln. So I was like, well, that's so weird. Because at my house everyone's telling on each other all the time. Well, and. I know it school Jackson's teachers are definitely helping with facilitating on the tabloids and stuff, and basically I mean, they don't say if you're not bleeding don't tell me, but they say, you know, pray for your friends or whatever. But don't tell us about it. You know, like figure it out, basically. And sometimes as a mom you just have to do that. And I've had to do that with Jackson on play dates or whatever it is just figure it out. Have you heard about the Rx bar? You guys know that we're obsessed. Arc's far is a whole food protein bar made with real whole ingredients are expert sets out to be transparent to their customers, and they have created a bar with no fillers, preservatives, artificial ingredients, and general BS Rx bars are clean and simple. And every ingredient serves a purpose. I love how they label each bar. 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No like two weeks ago. And I just like knowing plans, especially when it's involving like other people other than me Jackson, and will I like to know general plans on what people are doing. So we're going to Disney for the week of thanksgiving. And then coming home doing thanksgiving with family and then. I put Christmas up the day after thanksgiving, which I know you said that too. And for thanksgiving this year in the past. It's either I cook and wills mom cooks or. I cooked a full thanksgiving before I've hosted thanksgiving at my house and done it, and his mom just brings a dish or whatever. But I feel like we're kind of getting at that age where we need to step up a little bit more. Because when we go to Will's parents and stuff it's like, I'll bring stuff or sometimes they won't ask for anything. And it's like we just go and enjoy which is fine. But we're at the age where I'm kind of like, okay, we need to to step in and as hard as Christmas is concerned. We're doing things a bit differently this year, which we've never done, and I don't know if you've ever done this before, but we're going to do secret Santa with a limit. And I'm kind of organizing that and everybody gets one person and then Jackson's not included because he's the only child so everybody will get him a present. But. Everybody else has just doing secret Santa and that way, I feel like the meaning of Christmas is to be around family and to enjoy the company and. I don't think that the presence matter is much. I actually think it takes away from Christmas. Yeah. I mean, I'm not I'm not I agree. I do agree with that. And I don't feel so to grasp wrapped up trying to get gifts. And making sure you get something for everyone. And then it's like things start becoming last minute. So then gifts aren't super meaningful. And it's I don't know. I just I hate that part about Christmas. Honestly. And I think that it's going to be so much fun. Just to be able to shop for one person because you can really put your whole thought thought into that. And everybody doing it for one person plush Jackson, and then that's just it. And I think we will have so much more fun. Honestly by doing it that way. That's actually how I used to do it with hobbies family. Really would do. Yes. We would do everyone got the kids gifts my kids, and then the other kids in the family like everyone got the kids gift, but the adults because there were so many we just did secret Santa with limited, and it made it more fun. And I'm I'm very much like a practical gift giver, if I'm going to give a gift I'm not giving a gift that you're going to need to give her seat four. I'm going to take my time to know what you need or one. And it's going to be practical that you're gonna use like. Like don't and same goes like even growing up for me. Like, why even waste your money on something that I may or may not wear or use like I'm just more of like a practical thoughtful when I do my gifts like last year for all the kids in my family. I did because my kids in my family and my extended family. My aunts uncles and stuff like that. They just travel all the time, and they're always doing stuff with their kids. So I did like the personalized throw blankets. So like they can sleep with them. But they could also go camping with them, and they all have them. Yeah. And this year because all the kids in my family do sports. I think I'm going to do the yetis tumblers that are personalized about all the time. Yes. Yeah. So I want to do stuff like that. Because I know it's practical, I know they're going to use it. I know that it's just cute thoughtful stuff. But yeah, I'm the same way. I just why am I going to spend all this money on every single adult? That's not really what it's about. Yeah. And you know, I really thought that when I came up with this idea, it's not like a new idea. It's just new to our family. But once I came up with this. I thought that nobody would be onboard. But surprisingly everybody when I started kind of messaging and calling and just kind of gauging interest because I also didn't want people to feel like they had to participate if they didn't want to do that. It was like by choice thing. So everybody wanted to participate. It's a good idea. And I think it's. Yeah. I just think that it gives you more of a chance to really think through gifts and kind of focus on what the real meaning of Christmas is so I think that you did good with that idea. And also, it takes the pressure off of everyone because I feel like everyone probably feels very similar about feeling the pressure of gift giving and having to have something for everybody and having to be thoughtful and spending so much time and the time of year, it just flies by and I feel like you get so wrapped up in being at the mall or shopping on Amazon. Whatever it is that you dismiss the whole time. Yeah. I agree. I agree. And then far as like the. Buying for Jackson. I try to do that super early. So I will probably start next week. Actually, usually it's by the first of November is when I start looking and purchasing gifts, we do a lot of Amazon to be perfectly honest, just because it's easy. We have prime and it shows up at the door, and that's just it. And a lot of times, it's cheaper. I used to be a very last minute gift giver, like not give her a last minute shopper. But I found just that it's easier to order online. And I do a lot of personalized stuff. Now that last year I had all my stuff done by October. So I'm a little bit late this how so you really early. We'll because a lot of the things that I do like the blankets. I ordered first of all we have fifteen kids in the family. So I had to order all of them and people stopped taking personalized orders early. Right. When you order online. So I wanted to make sure that they all came in. Time. I hate that. I have ordered people gifts before and they have not delivered in time. And then they're like, oh, we'll kill the didn't get anything for like for the kids. And it's like I did it's just late. I hate that. So yeah, I am actually late. And I'm hoping that. Anything that? I want to do is not too late at this point. But so yeah, I'm going to probably start this week. I wrote down like a bunch of stuff that I wanted to for all the kids. But well, you'll have to let us know how it goes. And what you get ordered because I'm interested. Okay. I sure will. 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And I didn't mean to take away from the ad or the edit or anything like that. However, I'm so shocked and surprised at the response about my nipples. What was the response? People were calling me trashy. They didn't want to see my nipples this that and the third mind you my nipples are not like you can't see my physical nipple. You can just see that. I have nipples right? So it brought me back to breastfeeding and stuff like that. And you know, and I breastfed Lincoln for a year. And I literally never covered because it was sweaty. It made me uncomfortable. It made him uncomfortable. He didn't want anything on his face. So I didn't cover. I thought breastfeeding was a natural thing. And I guess I. When I was more aware while I was breastfeeding. I realized how fended people were by. But also I didn't care because this was my baby. And I'm going to feed them wherever now that I'm not breastfeeding in I'm in a shirt where you can't see the nipples. You can just see like where my nipples are bright people are having a fucking fit. And I could not I'm flabbergasted, I guess is a good word by it. Because I'm just why are people offended by nipples? But it kind of goes back to what I was saying about how people aren't ashamed to say anything to anyone anymore, and especially over social media that it's just kind of like a free for all. And you can say whatever you want to those people would never say that to you chances are it's just because it's a free for all. They can type whatever they want to type and say, whatever they want to say and the photos were beautiful, but they found the one thing and the photo it's like you can't get anything, right? You know? So they find the one thing and the pictures that it's like, oh, I can pick that apart because I can't find anything else on this picture to pick apart. So that's going to be it. But I I don't like it was had me racking my brain. Because I think about how I was raised and like, my mom, and I never had conversations about except acceptance or judgment of people we never had those conversations. At twenty six years old with no guidance in that way. I don't like I didn't have to have those conversations with my mom to fully except somebody for who they are or not judge people for like, I wouldn't if we were out on the street or at the mall or at WalMart or wherever like, I don't I don't even look twice. If you have if you're not wearing a bra on your nipples are out. I don't give a shit like that's not something that I'm. If someone's nipples are pointing directly at my face. I'm not I don't give a shit like I'm not going to even think twice about it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean to be perfectly honest that goes back to me talking about this man's fee, and like just because I noticed fee. That's one thing that I fully right, right? But I'm talking like because he didn't take care of them. And they were just like out there. Yeah. But I'm talking about everybody has nipples. Yeah. I think it's just you're nipping. And like that's just what it is. I mean, I don't know why they would have picked it apart. But like I said, I think it really goes back to that. There was nothing else to pick apart in the photos. Those were probably the best photos that you've taken a long time. They were just really good pictures. And that was one thing in the photo that they could be like. Oh, yeah. This photos. Great. However. Dimples are showing. But so so rude, but I was watching this thing online. I was watching this thing on TV the other night. And remember that night that it was like eight thirty or nine o'clock. And I was like I'm already in the bed. Well, this was the night that I was watching this, and it was talking about social media creating social anxiety, and how kids as early as middle school are becoming socially anxious because of social media and just like the social comparison of Ugo and you find yourself doing it as an adult two. So imagine like a child that's going through puberty, or whatever that's on social media and comparing themselves to other people, and I was very amazed. By the fact that. This side rate for girls is up seventy percent. What whereas boys at twenty five percent. And I think it's because girls are just they wanna compare by nature you compare yourself to other girls. Yeah. Other girls, just I'm sure boys do it to some extent as far as like athletic, ability, or whatever. But maybe not as much looks close or. I'm sure there are some boys that do it, but probably much less than girls. And this is shocking. This is the reason why imagine if you were so if you were mentally, you know, a weaker person, and you couldn't shake that somebody was talking about your nipples. Imagine. That would make some people feel right? Yeah. That's heartbreaking. Honestly that is. So sad. What? I don't get it. I just truly don't get it. It's very sad. And makes me scared for our kids because there's things that we have faced in this world that our parents didn't face and things that our kids will face that. We never knew about. Yeah. I mean in some ways, it's it's weird. Because it's like social media has done a lot of good as far as like jobs and such like that. Because obviously like you can work for these social media companies or you get paid by posting for them. But in other aspects, it's done a lot of harm crap harm. Yeah. To to. I don't want to say the world, but to people. It's so it's it's a catch twenty two. I feel like I was reading this article about this girl who got a complete complex about her nose from social media and said that she would do whatever it took like she was on this path of she was going to get a nose job. Like, she didn't care what it took because she was so down on her appearance because of her nose, and how people talked about it. But the interesting thing was was once she fix what? She deemed the problem that no one commented wants her nose was perfect. It's not like people are saying positive things. It's only negative only negative. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's interesting too. Because I feel like that's how it is in real life too. Like, people will do a million good things. But the second you do something bad. They'll comment on that. But not about the good things. That's that's a shame. That's that's a real shame to be honest. Such a shame. Changing gears a little bit though, because I have thought about this many times when I'm driving down the road have you ever been driving and you see like an old power pole. And it's like shoes or hanging up there or you see like random shoe in the middle of the road. Yes. Okay. So what are your thoughts? Whenever you see this. The I thought that I thought of was when Lincoln showed up to jitsu last week without a sheet because he left it in the driveway. Why did you leave your car like you knew your shoe came off? Why did you leave it in the driveway and continue to get in my car and not say anything to me? No, honestly, though, like if I see in a random place where like you wouldn't think of it? I worry was a because you see in movies too. But like did someone bully you, and you they took your shoes and threw them? I always think. Worst case scenario. Right. I think you think of a murder. Yes. That is what I think of or somebody who's been abducted or something like that. And they like hung shoes up, and it's like a subtle clue of like they had been there or something. I have no idea like what? Goes through my head whenever I'm thinking these things or wine thinking these things, but I was driving Jackson to school the other morning, and it made me think of it because it looked like a sketch for like a little girl scatter in the road. And I'm like, how did that one shoe get there, and I wish if anybody's listening, and they know why one shoe gets in the road like on a highway or why shoes get like hung up on power poles please explain well. So when I was one of the times that I was like good with my mom, and she would tell me stories about when I was little she told me that one time I must have been two or three. She had just bought me. A new pair of shoes. And I was laughing so hard in the backseat, and she didn't know why. And when she looked back. She realized that I had thrown them. Throwing them out the window while we were driving. So. Maybe it's a situation like that. Yeah. So maybe. Okay. And then this one time I saw it looked like men shoes in the middle of the road. So I'm like, okay. So if a man's throwing them out the window, then there's issues, and I always think when I see this. It's literally like I watch way too much like law and order and stuff. It's like I think that somebody is in the backseat like tied up, and they threw the shoe is like a clue of like where where they've been. I mean, that's actually smart like just kick. The like if your hands are tied up just like fall over and then like kick the window. That's actually, really smart on. That's what I love. Crazy. It's not crazy though. Because I mean, if you guys get abducted, and you guys they tie your hands up for sure just like fall over in the backseat, and then just kicked the window out and lose a shoe because someone's Phuc someone is going to see you kick your shoe out the window. You know what I'm saying? But would people help you know, what I mean, like, I'm so somebody kick their shoe off out the window. I'm calling nine one one. So you're cop calling for sure. Yes. And I'm following because I'm going to help somebody. That's not okay. If I saw that I would probably have a panic attack in crash, so I really would need to call nine one one right for sure. Run into them out every. Like this help everybody. Okay. Just going back to like the shopping thing and like kid thing. Yup. The other day. Okay. So as you know, sometimes I get a babysitter from twelve to three and do I like that time not really, but that might be the only time that I might be to get like some shit done without having to take in and out of the car seat. And then like running them into the store or like, the gym or whatever. Right. So. It's more convenient for me if I can get a sitter from not from nine to twelve just because I drop Lincoln off. And then I can go get some errands done before. I whatever. So my friend just moved back from Georgia, and she's like decorating her house and like trying to settle in. And she asked me for my help. So I'm like, okay. I love interior design, and I can do this. And I don't have to spend my own money. So I'm like, all right. I'll drop Lincoln off at school. And then I'll just take with me to the store and do that. And then he'll go to the hill. The center will come at twelve still. So that I can get my stuff done. So it's like nine thirty ten o'clock and lex is just like, he's grabbing everything an just touching everything. I tell him. No. And he's crying. He won't sit still. He's a nightmare. Right. So I'm getting super frustrated. I'm like, all right. I'm leaving. I'm not doing this all all come shopping for you when he has a babysitter. And. No. Honestly, because I was like this isn't worth the stress like I'd rather not because he's frustrated clearly because I'm not letting him do what he wants. And I'm frustrated because I can't get shit done. So I forgot what that was like because I don't remember they marry very what they very well may have touch stuff and like Ben frustrated, but I don't remember Isaac in Lincoln doing that. Right. So anyway, we get home. I'm sitting in the driveway and Lux has fallen asleep now on the way home from the store. So at this point, I was so frustrated that I didn't want to wake him up and take them out of the car seat to go in the house. So I'm sitting in the car in the driveway with luck sleeping in the backseat. And I'm just like, okay. I'm just going to breathe. I just started crying. Like, I lost my mind because I was just like what is life like people? I love my kids to pieces, but I just don't. I don't think people talk about that stuff as much as it happens. You know what I mean? Because people want to show this perfect life on social media. They don't talk about the hardships of it. But like, I couldn't I had to go to Staples and print some stuff out. I needed to go to Verizon, and I very well could have gotten all of that done at nine thirty while I was already out dropping Lincoln off versus coming home for three hours and having a sitter come like instead of me going to school dropping Lincoln often coming back home and then going back out on the sitter comes. It would have just been more convenient for me to just take lex with me. Right. Get all the things done. But it was so frustrating to try to do that that it wasn't worth it. And so I started crying because it was that on top of all the things that I still needed to get done when I did have the sitter. And I was just like this is it. I'm like, I I don't know what to do. And so I'm sitting in my driveway crying and Buxton in the backseat sleeping like nothing happened. I feel like that. So relatable, all moms, really. Because so many times I've seen moms and the grocery store or like at the mall or wherever and it's like, they're having you can tell that, they're they have boarded the struggle bus that day, and it's just like, really bad. And you know, it's always you see somebody else's kid acting bad when yours is acting. Good. Try to like walk past that person. And let them know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's okay. Because my kids not always good either. Because you can just tell the frustration. And I know that I've been there and just you just want to give up and just feel like oh my gosh. Like, I cannot do this. I cannot do this. But you have to be your own hype. Man like you can't. Let it get to you like that you just have to fight through it. And know that it's a phase because it is a phase and Jackson went through two phases. He has walked my ass. I'll be perfectly honest like. Very stubborn and strong willed. And. There are certain things that like when we would have played eight or whatever that other people could tell their kids to stop doing something. And it's like they immediately stop and Jackson. It's like I'm on the three countdown, and it's like I've gotten to three and by that point. I'm just really ticked. And I don't understand why you didn't stop the first time. I asked you to stop. And it's just like he's so bound and determined and he's finally getting out of that. It's like I tell will that we will break him. And we'll tell me we will break him like I will not give in. I will out stubborn him. And yeah, it's hard when you have a child that is so determined and wants to be independent, but also dependent on you. But thinks that they can just do whatever it's really hard. Well, and then I'm just like when I said to my friend. I was like I'm not doing this today. Like, I'm just not we're going to go home to wait for the babysitter. And then I'm going to get my stuff done. Right. The next day. She was like, oh, what are you doing after drop off like I want to do this this and this I said, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to even attempt to stress myself out. I said I'll we can do it. When I have a sitter. I was not doing it. The next day. I wasn't giving a second chance. Fuck. No. And I think to a lot of moms can also relate to this as well. That over committing yourself to things because you have to know what your limits are. And what's within moments, and what you can individually handle his mother because what I might be able to handle on the other hand, you might not vice versa. So right. There are certain things that might drive me nuts that my my child does in your child does it too. And it doesn't phase you you just have to know what's within your limits. And right, go with it. Because maybe shopping with Lux is just not in the car and not a thing. Not a thing. Nope. It truly is not a thing for me at all. And I'm not because I'm like, it doesn't only stress meow it stresses him out. So why am I going to you know, what I mean? Like, why would I put both of us in that situation to be frustrated as he's feeding on your energy, you know? So when you get stressed out, then he start showing his ass even more because he knows that you're stressed. And so now he stressed so he just wants to raise. Hell, right. Well, and it's one of those things where it's like, did you ever have you ever been out in public? And you're like, you know. It's probably way pastor trials by the time in the child's during. Attention the mom gets frustrated at the kid. We'll know you should have probably left two hours ago ride your kid to bed like it's one of those things where it's like, okay. This is probably my own right in between. Yes. It's like, you know, he just woke up we did drop off. We normally go home have a snack than have lunch and take a nap. So why am I sitting here fucking his schedule? And then stressing us both out, right? Yeah. I know and I will say for the first like three years of Jackson's life. No joke that we're going to be home and showered and ready for bed by thirty. That is not even a question. Don't ask. It's not an ago shovel in our life. Don't ask me to do anything past that time or around that time I need to have in my ass headed home by like seven at the latest. Yeah. No, I'm the same way. I mean, the older too. I can stretch their by times a little bit. But no, I'm not it's not worth it for me to do that to Lux at all not at all. All right, guys. Well, that's all we have time for today. So thank you for listening, and we will be back next week with more crazy, mom stuff. There's a few stories that we want to tell you guys about that. We didn't have time for today. And if you guys are not following us on coffee combos podcast on Instagram. Make sure you follow us over there. That's where we do all updates for new episode releases merch, we have started adding the discount codes on there for you guys to make it easier. And if you have not given us a five star review on ice Huhne's, you can just go to the pod. Cast app for tuna. Search coffee combos click the fifth star. And you can also leave a written review, we really appreciate them. So we hope you guys have a good week. And we'll talk to you soon. This podcast is brought to you by we've podcasts at work. Check out all of our shows, including the brain candy podcast. I don't get it Bates and babies coffee combos. And let's talk about it.