I'm Worried About Money Issues in My Relationship (Hour 2)
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios. It's Dave Ramsey show where debt is dumb. Cash is king and the paid off mortgage has taken the place of the BMW. Status. Symbol shows I'm Dave Ramsey your host Dr John Loney Ramsey personality is my co host today here on the air open phones at triple eight eight to five five to five. That's triple eight, eight to five, five, two, two, five starting this hour off is going to be Lansing Amarillo highlands. How are you? I'm doing well, Dave how are you guys better than I? Deserve how can I help? They're good. Hey, I'm I'm really Calling you guys for. Adults of wisdom here I'm. I'm pretty sure I'm in a position that I could retire, but I don't know if it's if it's wise for me to. Okay. In what way is unwise you don't have enough money or you what? Well I mean I've got a net worth of about three point two. Okay. So. I think we're okay. Well done. Thank you did you inherit that or what? a little bit a little bit farmland I did four hundred probably of that. But the rest of it is just Just. Paying attention. Yeah. Well, done. Don't you paid a lot of attention good up salons. I know some young guys that kind of money who've who've semi-retired? What's the hesitant senior heart here? Well, my my wife health is Marginal she has some gastrointestinal. Type issues, and so I'm I'm meeting. What have very good insurance for them or I'm. I'm just hesitant to leave that behind I'm sixty she sixty two. uh-huh. So you know we're a little later away from Medicare and those kinds of things have you investigated just buying something like a blue cross blue shield policy through one of our earpiece. I have and I mean it's. You know clearly Know I don't know much about the the the coverage that says is I guess. You don't know much about what? The coverage. Oh. Yeah, you would WANNA know that. I would sit down with an endorsed local provider on health insurance and learn the coverages. But if you can buy health insurance that will cover her issues. Then, why would you not retire? I you know I don't know. I probably would I probably would Lancer trade what do you do out there in Amarillo? A IT director we're at. An Insurance Company. Okay. Okay so you probably could do a lot of side gigs at your schedule. However, you wanted to work half time as a lot of it things. You probably have the skills to do that. And a little bit of contract work here or there if you just want to stay busy, keep your skills sharp that kind of thing for the fun of it Ambassador Insurance, but you know regain. A lot of freedom. A lot of independence by going ahead and retiring. If you want to do that, you've got the money and if you've got the health insurance if you WANNA work work care, you don't have to retire but you don't have to work either. Right, well, you know it's The work the job is getting you know been doing it for nearly forty years and you know I'm getting. It's getting. Yeah. Yeah and I suspect. You could probably do a lot of the same kinds of things on your schedule and less hours make pretty good money and it wouldn't be as burn out for you. But the whole situation is what grates on you and my own. No that's that's exactly right. It's it's. You know it's eight to five and you know. All the all the stuff that goes with the corporate lights now that well I don't ever recommend. I don't say ever but I do not plan to quit working completely. Because your brain and body will quit on you. I just do not I want to be doing something. I will be wandering around this building spreading spreading heightened dissension in one way or another, but the but I do need to downsize and and offload some of the things that I'm doing over the next ten years I'm sixty. And it'll be good for the company. But. I'll be here on the air. But some of the internal stuff I do I don't need to have my hands in everything ongoing and you don't either by the way. So you could do a similar thing like I graduated thing rather than a truncated thing meaning you you gradually by leaving there and picking up twenty five hours of contract work that you do at your leisure You don't need the free money you just need to keep your brain busy. And Lance this is I'm GonNa make this geographic but it's not because this is happening to people all over the country but there is a west Texas ethos that a man is his job and if you quit working you, Kinda. quit cease to exist. And it's just the way you've got farmland. You've got your hands and that you're not guy which means you probably don't call for the last forty years. There's just this sense of. This is who you are. Now you're faced with the woman you love more than anything else in the world's got health issues and you want to spend time with their and you're worried about this. But that bad man you're good. You're good husband you put in forty years you've worked hard you've. Clearly, lactates have the money sit down and get with somebody who knows that market out there Morello and reimagined some things and get some peace in your heart. Spend some time with your wife. They've said twenty, five, forty hours a week doing work you WanNa do that's exciting when you WanNa do when you WanNa, do. Or don't right choices. Our don't the the choices are there but so i. am not. It's not agree with everything you said except that that's a West Texas. I it's everywhere. Yeah everywhere everywhere is. It's You know it might be a boomer thing more than a millennial thing but but this idea that that there because our generation accurately recognize there's dignity and work I was GonNa say the millennials are flipped it where relationships are everything and works just not a thing and it's not something you need to do dignity and work we are made to work. That's right. There's an exciting ordinary dignity there. So there's something that does for your psyche for who you are. It gives you a sense of meaning a sense of purpose you're doing something that's not immoral wrong or whatever. But the it can be literally working on the farm. Absolutely. You got your big West, Texas ranch there you know. So but you've got the money get the health insurance in place. Imagine. Some part-time contractual things do that over the next ninety days and retire. That's what I would do if I were in your shoes. John. With that place you work with emotionally I can hear that for sure if you're you've stuck it out your, they're not mean, but you're done with them. There's almost this request like, is it a character issue and not actors? Not It's not at all not at all but good for you for setting yourself up like this for you absolutely might end in May have enough he runs a big cadillac or something you know I was with a gallon down eight thousand acres. That's just blows my mind you know you can raise some cattle can put a couple of calsonic nells, naked, work it out, and then you got to go find him. A Bail. Out. Front run right. That's a lot a lot of square miles, but it's you you know it's a different mindset and so. Just, find something that you put your hand to make sure your health insurance issues or cared for your money. You've done it. You didn't touch down you're never day millionaire. Proud of you well done. This is the Dave Ramsey show. and. One of the questions I get all the time is which life insurance company should I use for my term life policy look it can be a tough decision when there are hundreds of plans out there with rates all over the place and rip off riders. That's why the only company I use and of recommended for over twenty years is zanderinsurance. There're a broker, which means they shop only the top plans from reputable companies that I recommend call them at eight, hundred, three, five, six, forty, two, eighty, two, our visit, zander dot com for instant online quotes. Dr John Baloney Ramsey personality is my co host today here on the air open phones triple eight eight to five, five, two, two, five guys. We value input from the listeners of the Dave Ramsey show it helps us to know what's important to you. So we can deliver the right kind of content and teaching. We've launched a brand new survey. We'd love your feedback and check it out at Daveramsey DOT com slash survey. It's all about this show. It'll take a few minutes. Here's one hundred dollars Amazon Gift Card. It's up for grabs you'll be in the drawing forty. If you take the survey doesn't cost anything, take the survey obviously, but we need to hear from you what do you like about what do you not like about and so on. Unless, of course, you don't like Dr John Bologna and then just don't take the survey right now I'm not some high school friends coming out of the woods. Some people. Franken is here. All right text the word survey to thirty, three, seven, eight, nine, or go to Daveramsey dot com slash survey again, get your phone out text survey. Two, three, three, seven, eight, nine. Open, phones here at Triple Eight, eight to five, five, two, two, five, Casey is whether in cases in Texas I, Casey. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey show. Hi Dave Hi Dr. Gooney. Thanks for having me. Sure. What's up? So I recently got engaged and my fiance, and I are looking at buying or building a house in an up and coming area here in Austin But throughout this process, there have been some red flags that have been raised, and now I'm just kind of trying to figure out what to do and what I should do from relationships sample in a financial standpoint. Kind of red flags. So we had had some discussions while were dating about finances and it seems they were sugarcoated a bit and. So. Basically when we started having financial conversations I had some concerns and I talked to my parents. My parents are awesome and for my birthday got Financial Peace University So I got on the Debt Snowball Bandwagon and within the next six weeks, I'll paid off all of my debt and be completely debt. but he didn't really get on that bandwagon with me and it turns out. To, engage D- at his debt is about double. What I thought it was So he has about one hundred, thousand dollars in debt and I think just our views finances are using debt are very different and so that that's my primary red flag is it because you thought it or the different because he lied to you? I don't think a little bit of both. So I think you know I getting out of debt is. A huge deal for me. I'm so excited I. You know I have a PhD I had a lot of day out of getting out of my doctoral program and so now I'm finally there I tasted I taste the freedom. And I think his the way he accrued debt was in his twenties. We're both were older now or both thirty six and he accrued through traveling and backpacking playing. And so I and and I he has about forty four thousand student loans as well. So it wasn't all fun and Games but You know, I think there's just a fundamental difference in the way we think about finances and yes just the fact that he wasn't transparent is an absolute issue as well because so. It may be because he maybe, I'll cut him a little slack. It's possible. The guy like this. He wasn't transparent because it just doesn't matter to him. I think that's a lot of the case. I don't think he overtly lied thing. That's. Malice or something here. So have you got set a date for your marriage. We had to date for February, and now You know we've been going through the. pigging out options for the building the House and stuff, and it's been very obvious that he wants very high end materials I mean there's an expectation that I'll put down twenty percent of the down payment out of my money. Though for me, I'm just I. PUT IT on hold. So we're the household end the marriage on hold. we put the marriage on hold and I'm not sure what I WANNA do about the house right now. Okay. Well, the house would be he's your and more important put on hold not more important, but I mean that should have been on hold before the merge put on hold so. Revealing, the other stuff in my opinion. So yeah. Okay. So John Jump in here. Yeah I WANNA I wanNA start there with the house. Don't continue buying a house with somebody that now you're wondering if you're gonNA spend time with them for the rest of your life because. Going into a joint home purchases going to complicate that separation down the road significantly the second thing is is going back with Dave said. I think you need to sit down and be direct with him about what your values are and about your. Confusion or frustration with him having about twice the debt that he had and your expectations moving forward as a couple doesn't sound like y'all have dreamed about what's going to look like because you're building a house and you still aren't fully formed there. So you can try to play house a little bit play dating little bit think about marriage a little bit and you gotta get these priorities in order now the thing is when I first started teaching this stuff casey. and you can share this with him as well. I thought I was just teaching people to get on a budget and I was forcing couples that were married from a practical standpoint. It's just much easier tactically to handle money when you have one account and you have one budget and you're both working together, it's just easier and what I didn't realize was forcing them to dream together. I was forcing them to face their fears together. I was forcing them to do life together. And when you've got different views of handling money, it's not the money that matters. The money doesn't matter. But what it's exposing is that you value different things you have a different dream a different way of looking at the future or you look at the future, he doesn't or vice versa and so what what's revealing here is that Your values are are substantially different and that's reflected in the money, and so you get comfort from You know being out of that and saving money he doesn't even address. The issue is the ultimate free spirit backpacking through Europe and running up debt. You know there's nothing evil about that. That's just a that's one story of people's journey how they get there. But then the point is if you're going to be married to someone you got to be able to give and take between the two of you and say, okay, we as a couple are gonNA develop a money philosophy and we're going to develop a Philosophy on how we deal with parents, and we're GONNA, develop a philosophy on how we deal with kids and we're GONNA develop a philosophy on how we deal with religion and if you don't do that, you're not going to succeed in your marriage all the data points in marriage statistics and divorce statistics tell us this and so in thirty years of sitting at this desk I've observed at Tom Again so I think this is salvageable. Absolutely I do but I think it's GonNa require some strong handed pre-marriage counseling that forces both of you him to get a little bit more responsible and utilizing up a little bit. Forces both of you to the table and go. This is what I value and if you're going to completely poop on it, we're not supposed to be together. And it can. Can I tell you somewhere where I heard you speak who I think you could start with your own heart. Is. It sounds like a part of you thinks that the debt you accrued was good debt because there's going towards school. Your fancy now your doctor your rock in the world. And his debt was not good that. So there's there's this he was the irresponsible backpack riot. So when you're judging him when you're already come to the table as though, Hey, I've made better choices in you you've made let. I want you to like. Approach him on equal measure. You're both going to the same relationship. You got stuff you're gonNA bring into it in your backpack. He's GonNa bring stuff in his and you've got to start an equal footing decide where you want to go and build a house or buy a house until you've been married at least. -absolutely at least a year. Just. That whole then dumped the house dump the house deal completely. And and. You know take the time and do pre-marriage counseling by the way. Again, there's all kinds of data that says if you do in depth pre marriage counseling, you have an eighty percent more likely chance of having a successful marriage that doesn't end divorce. Because what happens is they'll run a good in-depth coach like data counselor will end your relationship before marriage. Or they'll bring you together and your marriage is GonNa be healthy and you learn communication tools and give and take and you lighten up and he Sirius' up or whatever. The right Fraser's it gets. You know he gets the more responsible. Grows up and you come together and that's what can happen. It can be a really useful process. In the lobby of Ramsey solutions on the debt free stage somebody's whether it's Tom's weather's hey, tom how are you better than deserve? Sir How are you welcome? Where do you live Sir streator Illinois. Welcome to Nashville and all the way here debt free screen. Yes. Sir. How much have you paid off Tom? Forty, eight, thousand, five, hundred dollars. Hundred Twenty three months forty eight. In twenty three months making what kind of revenue income roughly. Started at fifty thousand and currently up to sixty seven thousand. Cool. What do you do for a living? I worked for a trucking company as a manager of operations. Cool. Okay. Show in two years basically you paid off twenty five grand a year roughly man you've been on beans and rice. Getting after Sir well, done very well done. What kind of debt was the forty eight five, the vast majority of it was student loan debt. I student loan debt a little bit of credit card debt and the remainder of a car loan that I had. So how long ago were you in school? I graduated in May of two thousand twelve. Okay. So. We may had her own spare bedroom at your place. For almost a freaking decade just about. Yeah. Just about what was the wakeup call? What happened twenty three months ago? Well, actually Mike anything kind of starts before then I originally graduated college with about seventy five, thousand dollars of student loan debt and I didn't quite get a degree in lefthanded puppetry, but it really much wasn't much better than that. You want to share. Music merchandising the miners use technology minor and marketing. Okay. Wow. Okay. So and I am usually got out of school selling cars. Okay. So I wasn't quite what I wanted. Something like that but I just. Automatically as I was graduating I knew that this debt that I had my student loan debt just was not just never comfortable with it as time to paperwork and like there's some in my gut that's telling me I shouldn't I shouldn't be doing this. So when I finally graduated college I, saw this massive, you know five grand and said, Nope, this is getting out of my life I don't want this anymore this is going to ruin it I needed stop. So I got to work to work and started paying off paintings off and I was about a sharp as a sword starting to go through it and became bought his dulls butter knife by the end. I had gotten to about about forty five and just quit Y- just about I was pretty close to it and yeah then here I am got Kazakhstan. How'd you meet? How'd you decide to do at twenty three months ago something clicked it did change. Actually. Discovered you. Oh, so I was on the way home from Duluth Minnesota and stopped at a gas station and as walking to the bathroom I see this face on my left and I turn kind of jumped a little bit and it was a picture of you actually it was the audiobook of the Dave Ramsey show told him on makeover me what am I doing it in a gas station? See Gestation bathroom out. Quite. Okay. All right. So looked at the price it wasn't that expensive I like Oh. You know what I've been feeling down. You know why not go let me give it a shot. The rest of the six hour drive home listen to the total money makeover audio book and it was amazing because you were talking about stuff I already believed in I. Just didn't really know how to vocalise and the other part I related to. So wow, this guy sounds exactly like my dad with a southern accent. All right. I guess I can work with us. So listen to it. Prayed about it start. Went down the rabbit hole. debt-free screams and prayed about it and decided to go for it. That was may of two thousand eighteen use the book and the Youtube stuff new get you're going. Very cool. Very cool. Wow proud of your Mansor and obviously your Dad Momma. Proud of you. They came down to cheer you on the dish. Scream they did very nice day They were my biggest critics turned into my biggest supporters. Because I I actually got the Dave Ramsey show podcast. Put On my dad's a smartphone and He actually enjoyed it and my mom and dad enjoyed it so much that they were actually here for their entreleadership events back in November yeah. Ventured out at the time. Yeah. Well, very cool. Very cool. So they were critical of you starting this process originally and you converted them sort of. You said I sounded like your dad but with a southern accent, you sounded like it but just did wrong order is home. Okay. Him Out on. Good. So it was pretty much. You know hammering me about investing retirement but. No I need to pay off his debt. Okay. All right. Very cool. Well done. Thank you and now they now they're cheering you on and here to cheer on your debt free, scream and. Now that you did this. I can't even believe it. I can. But it's it honestly feels like the way to the world's been taken off my shoulders I mean I just remember just being just. Just, being down at work and just feeling like I've got a ball and chain at right around my neck and It's and it's dragging me through wearing me down and I almost feels light of other. It literally is emotional. Pick me up. I. Love. It changes everything changes everything. So with Dr John Sitting here with a PhD in higher? Education. I'm curious. How did you select? And what advice would you have for someone looking at a nuanced degree that because that's very Very. Specific. Nuance degree music merchandising as her which twelve years ago included CD's tract, and they actually sold CDs in stores at that time and so merchandising music today would be all digital obviously are virtually almost all digital and virtually not a good word to use now but the. Anyway. How did you select that degree? What was it? They'd go what's going on in your head and what advice would you have for someone that had an interest in something like that because obviously if you had to do over wouldn't do it. Yeah. EXAC on way, but we'll be one is slow down. Slow down high was when I was a hot head when I was younger admittedly and I just kinda rushed into things not really thinking of all the consequences I did I did what my heart told me to do and not what my brain told me I probably should be doing and really where you need to do is kind of do a conflict kinda combination of both there has to be some common sense along with along with doing what your heart tells you So number one is slow down number two, surround yourself with people who have gone through it on her be. Can Give you advice to do it free 'cause I mean I was brought up in the generation of of this is just what you do. You take out student loans you go but just yeah and don't go to private school. Don't school. Okay. All right. Cool. Well, that's that's good information than so well, Don thank you. Sir well done. Now you've been through total money makeover. You've been down the Youtube Wormhole what advice you have for someone's listening. This is their first time to see a debt free scream or to hear a story like this what should they do if they want to get out of debt? You can do it. I am a bright, but I will mentally I am not the smartest person in the world. You can do this. Turn me on when David had his moment at where he told the cameras he told and said you you in the audience? Yes, you. You can do this. Believe in yourself. You can do this. It's GonNa take work. It's GonNa be hard. At. The end of the day. It is so so worth it You, our own beans and rice for twenty. You didn't have a life for twenty three months and but your free now I am free. Now when you do anything you wanted to. Daniel. Very, very well done. All right Tom well done sir forty eight, thousand five, hundred dollars paid off in twenty three months making fifty to sixty seven countdown. Let's hear a debt free scream three, two what. Area. Well done sir. Oh Darn. So I never. Thought I mean we've talked so much about student loan crisis. We've talked so much about higher ed stuff over the years but I never thought about the we make fun of left-handed puppetry or be stacking underwater or whatever, and these things come up with these crazy degrees that nobody has a use for but I never really thought about the idea that a general degree like just a marketing to reverse marketing degree for certain thing. Had so much more application, just a broader brush right and if most colleges you can take a couple of cat cognate courses. They call them that you get those specifics that you love, and you can still go out and do a wide range of whatever that is in the field right now without them degree being shown nuanced itself now very interesting. This is the Dave Ramsey show. You. Dr John Baloney. Ramsey personality is my co host today here on the air we have launched his. PODCAST, which is I call in format like this show is so you can call and talk to him. It was number one. As we launched, it came out number one in the health and fitness center section is that what it's called. Did very well, you can email John and be a part of that podcast and ask John Ramsey solutions dot com, or you can call and leave a voicemail. They'll make you a part of the show meaning they'll call you back and set you up as a caller like you'd be caller on this shows how it would work and here's the number to do that eight, four, four, six, nine, three, thirty to ninety, one, eight, four, four, six, nine, three, three, two, nine, one, or email, ask John. At Ramsey solutions. Dot, com ray is in Miami. Hi Ray. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey shop. Hey. What's going on Dave Nice to meet you you too man how can we help? I'm in dire straits I'm a registered nurse, my wife, and I just recently had. A set of five month old twins I have a five year old and. She just lost her job because of obviously there's a situation and the only over in life is to have a house. We are highly in that and I never going to be able to give that to her the way things are going. But I have about eight thousand dollars right now in credit card debt and interest rates are all above you know twenty percent. Why because I did thank let's see about ten years ago and I'm trying to get back on track and somehow getting back into this. That because of you know covert and the twin been. So my question to you is that these credit card that that I do have accumulated? Should you think that? I, just close out these credit cards don't even think about them pretend that they're not there meaning I don't you know use them pay them back? Because I feel like as a counselor open. I'm scared. I'm GONNA keep using them because we are headed down. You know vicious pattern with this. How old are you? I'm thirty seven powder the twins. Into five months Twenty twenty, it's been a big year. When you're twenty it's been very, very big year my my. Started school he has developmentally delayed problems also so. She has to be home with all three of these kids and you know we were living on incomes. But now it's just me and as a registered nurse I duNno that salary but it's not great. Not Enough. It's it. I hear the fear in your voice. and. All that all that means? All that means is that you're a good dad. And you want to do the right thing for your family and you don't know exactly how to do it scares. Yeah and that's major good man. So So help you I want you to go through you and your wife want you to go through our class. I'm going to give you a one year membership to Ramsey, plus which gives you access to everything financial peace university. what you end the everydollar budget and you and your wife both of you to go through this if I give it to you, free you both have to do it. Okay. That's Absolutely. What both on board with this we're both now bitcoin this then the second thing is One of the things you're going to get out of that is that we quit using credit cards completely and you cannot close an account technically while you still have dead on it, they're not going to close it out till you pay it off but you can. You can definitely get out the credit cards and have a symbolic closure tonight with your wife after the kids go to bed, get the scissors out light a candle have plastic surgery. A nurse knows how to do that right at the table, right? Shop those puppies up and yeah, you quit using them. You never use them they cannot be a crutch. And here's the good news. You are the answer to your problem. the bad news is you Are the problem. Yes Sir grew at my house. That's true at John's House. So Cova didn't calls it. The twins didn't cause it. You guys were irresponsible disorganized out of control freaks before both of those things happen right? Yes. Sir. All right. So we get the mirror out and go okay you are the solution. And you were the problem that's what I did at my house when I went broke dude and I was twenty eight. And I had a brand new baby named. Rachel. And I was scared like I hear in your voice. So I'm not picking on you just loving you all right now I need a wakeup call man. So you know you already wakeup call for you call me. I'm just confirming, but the deal is I don't want you want US language where you blame covert or you blame the the coming of the twins or something you guys were mess before this just exposed it. and Warren Buffett says you can tell who skinny dipping when the tide goes out. And so that's what happened here. Okay. You just exposed. You know when when you stress test stupid. It comes up stupid and that's what's happened. You're you're stupid that you were doing got stress tested. What happened to me to do exactly what happened I was dumber than you. I, did it with a lot of zeroes on the end and only completely belly up you're gonNA make it on I'm. I'm talking like seven figures of them but anyway the. So. You're GONNA do great and you're going to be able to turn completely around and There's something that happens when someone reaches that point that they're ready and. I've been there too I've been there to my little boy years daughter was Rachel Milo boy was hank and I remember that frozen moment. Thinking, what have I done I? I only had six zeroes, but it was a lot and it felt like the whole house it on my back. And I've got one job on planet Earth which is to love my wife and one job on planets, which is a love that kid and I had shackled us to so many different concrete blocks and throwing them into the lake man was just struggling to tread water I don And the other good news ray is, is that you're registered nurse that's not a curse that's a blessing. You will always have work and if you want extra work, you can always find extra work if you're not being paid, well, you need to look for a new employer because you can get paid well as a registered nurse. You can make some money and so and you work more than you're working and beat your way through this center down to. One income, and so you're GONNA make it. You'RE GONNA turn this around. You're GONNA be doing a debt free scream someday here on this show, you're going to turn the whole process upside down I'm proud of you. You'RE GONNA make hold on Kelly's going to pick up and get you all signed up for this whole thing Larry is on the line Larry is in Omaha hi Larry Welcome to the Dave Ramsey show a little short on time go straight to your question. Sure Dave thank you and Jon for taking my call. Sure we personally are set I'm seventy, three, seventy I've been following your principles before I even knew you. So we are financially set. My question is about my son he is going to lose his house. He is totally financially incompetent. We've tried to talk to him by example, by words he and his wife earlier this up that we have to have separate finances she will not get on board with him refinancing the house. She doesn't want her name on anything he does. So they're gonNA foreclose the house. My question is I've I can buy the house outright they only got fifty five thousand left on the House I can buy it or I can get a loan and take over the loan that way but they just don't and they rent some me he doesn't WanNa do that he doesn't WanNa rent I'm saying well, you can live under the bridge then says the case was your suggestion here should I just let them live under the bridge or? And right now is an added. they have a mortgage specialists paying one hundred dollars a month for his stupid advice. I've already given them and if they do themselves. So what is your suggestion if his wife is unwilling to join in finances assigned to keep her own home under her than she is losing the House not you? Yes. Is. Willing to his unwilling to rent the house back. He is losing the house not you You didn't do it I. said I said I'll buy the house, but she does not live. Here she is out is what I said she does not run for me she is out if she's not willing to. put her name on your. She is out of the House. And close to that. Anyway. So it's no big loss well there I'd be careful about getting in between your son and his wife or true I agree. And that that may cost you down the road if they end up reconciling and you've you've put a thorn in something sometimes, you say some things that you can't give back. Yeah I. Agree with that. I would I would wash my hands of it and just stand back and say I. Love You guys. If you need some help with food or something, I'll help you later but I can't help you with the house because. All the stuff you're doing is not anything that I can do and I'm sorry. Yeah I would let natural consequences take. There's too much going on here. You can't fix and they're unwilling to address. and. So those are those are two reasons. God let this go. It's very painful to watch people you love these stupid though. happens to all of us. This is the Dave Ramsey show. Dave Air, we just launched up Moran New Survey and we'd love your feedback. You'll be entered to win a one hundred dollars. Amazon Gift Card no purchase necessary. Take the survey at Daveramsey DOT com slash survey or text survey to thirty three, seven, hundred, nine you like you're in a Rut and living live just going through the motions build confidence in yourself and learn to trust the God who created you check out the Christy Wright show where Christie inspires you to breakthrough your limitations and create the life your brow live live. Hey all I'm Christie right. You know it's so easy to feel stuck. 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