The Lawfirm of Finger, Nugget, & Dippin's - EP 268
Ah? Oh my God. What a mess. Boots credible. Streaking woman. Yeah. She. Oh my God. Why would you take when I turned off that light it took everything? Already G cloud. My God what this is gonna be shit. Okay. So here's the deal. We're just we're recording. Right. We're just keep going. So the fact of the matter is Ross Matthews is sick. Nikki Boyer is sick. And Fags EJ rod and CJ are all wrapped in Saran wrap. Matthew. Selling them now because I'm so sick. My god. I'm not contagious though. I've been on some some med wouldn't spread my germ. I think I couldn't possibly can be contagious more. I've been sick for so long that I don't think that I could possibly be contagious here. Some let me look and see what happened everybody. That's sick always says, I'm not contagious. It's just the thing. How do you know, you're I think you're on antibiotics for like three to four days. You're not contagious. We'll find out tomorrow. So well, somebody gave it to me, right? Four. In the movie, of course, July Smith, of course. Yes. And Kevin Spacey's. We don't talk about it anymore. Anyway. Gives you a screeching hall. So J eating twizzlers. Don't let me edge the back. It's so you to prefer Twizere to a red fine because Twitter has like no flavor. And it's so make sense at that's what he would like right twizzlers is way better than your out of your mind. I am. But like that was so make sense that he would he would choose that liquorice as you have you ever had a good and plenty that candy with the black licorice on like. I love a t they're good. Plentiful? Right now, I was in Palm Springs, and I was in bed. I like was shivering Bubba. Cutting it up, and then I get so hot like my sheets one morning, sweat so much. It was so gross. It's also grows why so gross for well. When I woke up in the middle of the night. And I have been sweating so much to break. My fever that I actually thought I went to bed. Yeah. I was like did. I just piss the vet, and then I had flashbacks my entire childhood. I cried. Oh, my God listening. Understand it whoever had this and went out and touched me. I hope. You fucking rot. It's making you know, what I mean? Right Rangers getting it. But you're like you're out there in the bubbly brunch shaking everyone's and that's the problem. I that's the problem right there. Right. Is touching people talking to people just do yourself because I do hug, everyone pope mobile get something like the you said, a Polk mobile, and I was like. Pope mobile has a car. That's like enclosed. Yeah. Enclosure some mad about this. So here's the deal. Marks not here to give a big announce and usually J rod does it. But Jared doesn't have a microphone over there. So guess what? We're in luck. Listen, pristine into homo. That was like one of those collages that you make when you're. Christina darling. Homo stew Stabia. Homo. Literally glue that together. And if you if you listen really close, you can hear me going and the night. Oh. Because mommy, dearest says Christina darling. Yes. So you put the. Everyone. Listen for facts ain't pro instead a TV here because it's a beautiful blend with you and fate Dunaway Joan Crawford. So it's you it's you very, okay. This is you playing Faye. Dunaway playing Joan Crawford. Yes. Saying pre-? Pre pristine. Her. At work. So great. Let's do this. He's the. Now here he is Ross, Matt. To me. Gye? And we're not going to be all right now. We are welcome to the program every time. Things coming out. Yeah. Like coughing things. So, but it's very weird. If it started in my chest about about five days of just being like, allergies. What was going on so tired so tired as my chest. Then my mom came to visit. And I just like put it at bay. You know, what I mean just put it, you know, can't get sick. So it was fine. We'll had this. Great trip is dragging a little tired. And then right? When she goes goodbye got on the plane. I was like tired. And then the thing started where my I had to get a haircut. And as he was cutting my hair, I was like our hair hurt. And then like my skin those driving with the top down in the wind on my face. It was like oh my face hurt. My whole every body eaten. And I just got on your covers. And then like the dogs are like member us, we need to eat how about oh God, I couldn't leave the host because I like kind of like schinder, so they Iran food for them. So I'm sorry making him scrambled eggs. And then I made them all I had left in the house for me was triscuits. That's it. I gave them all the phone. That's true. Love. The thing that was a full box of triscuits. There'll be one dog here today. Gotta eat the hardest thing. When you're sick. And you're alive, you know, that movie were they were stuck on the mountain like an envelope. I love to stuck in a bungalow in pump. Post mates, but it is hard when you're alone in your sick. She don't want to do anything. God. To be honest. It was the first time in a long time that I had been alone say, you know, wasn't alone for so long. You know, Tommy, I was in that great your relationship. Good rub. It in Finks about Nick. Tell me where about how you were. Well hurt. Tommy comes in and goes suit. Would it be going to do for dinner? And I said you open the slight I listening to you. Who cares about the sound quality in the room? Just. Yeah. Aaron here some of these germs leading. We don't. We don't. You're not gonna get this. Inspector gadget, slam Dr. Continue with your ribbon story. I have energy pellet. He said, nobody. No, I don't. What can I what are we gonna have for dinner tonight and Ella got sick? And he got sick. And I was sick. And I looked at him. And I said, I don't fucking care. Everybody eats anything for the rest of their life. How long did it take the cook? It wait toll on native rice cooks in the microwave. How it doesn't on the stove tap voter. How long does it take stove? Sixty seconds. That's a lie note doesn't can't take time in stove microwave. I will hear it. Boil the water. There you go. That's the shit, right? There can't boil water and sixty seconds care who you are. That's true. So I guess it does take this is what we're talking. Here's the deal us right now. I'm saying it is Mike. Hi, we're off three here. Healthy and alive. I know cash show move. Hey, Nikki, look at them. Look at Fags e J rod and CJ, look, oh such Rosie complex. I'm green literally all of. Nikki all of you of too. So here's the deal. Also, I'm on book deadline deals that going. But I was due. Whatever. I was laying with like my like, you know, at the when the scare the scary movie at the end when somebody like hand comes up out of the grave or the ground. So I was laying my bed covered with just my nose, and my eyes like out of the the covers and then one hand I was in typing on my computer. My God one like hand just trying to be funny. Because I was like most fish. Book that visual of the ending of Kerry because there and then I get an idea. I come back to life. The hand would come out. It'd be like Jackie Collins said. People out there that are like really suffering with right? Mother complaining or mom like she goes. Oh, honey. I feel so bad. You feel sick. I'm like, really? You can't serve. This is nothing. Doesn't mean. I'm not gonna complain about it, right? Gone. Of course, I'm sorry. But that's the best part about having whatever. This is is being a complaint. She Iraq named twizzlers only. Twitter too. I know that as a straw to come. Hey, everybody just announced, you know, have hosted the glad awards eight time. Yes. New York LA San Francisco once they're gone to warn him. Glad is turning thirty years old this year. And the Los Angeles show. I think March twenty eighth I'm hosting again. That's good. Tickets available. Glad one way you ain't gonna bring down again. Table and get wine. I would like to raise money for glad. Wow. Free table. Open bar was really cute though. Can we come? Macking on that free. Fucking twizere. So that's happening. Also, the branch, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to be there. I'm being in bolt branches this weekend. That's impressive. So you literally go to the brunch. A gave this to me is that this brunch. We're going to talk about it back to them. Yeah. When you get on stage. Just like all mad like I want everybody. I'm sick one a year one. A you did this. Thank you for being here. We got great food. Anyway. Of it. Oh here here. This is fun. What I mean? I don't have anything. Okay. Chelsea goes. I got a bad joke. I wanna tell. But. Well, is it a good bad jokes? It's good bad joke. Yeah. Good job. Share? Day on straight with Ross, man. That's so crazy played the trip is some song. I found. I did that like half asleep. I woke up literally re just recorded that. Thank you. But I did hear a good badge come here. And let me find the dermal. Okay. Okay. What do you call a fish with? No, I. A needle try to. I don't tell you figure it out dumb joke. Good bag. Good back joke fish with. No, I. Swimming scale screening timer. What do you call a fish with? No, I know. I lists fish fish with. No, I'll get hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We can do this everybody. Oh, we. What do we know bat Josie, really bad? Wait, say the punchline. That's one more. Jay rod got it on no fish with no eyes. Fish. That's kind of funny. I joke. I got one kind of very similar what do you call? Off the stage. I'm here to redeem the segment go, what do you call deal with? Now is. Dear dear. I don't know. Close. No idea. Idea. That's pretty good. That's a follow up to the fish. Like a good follow. Are you like someone old? What is what is sex like when you're camping? In ten. Oh. The nose b twelve inches long. Because it'd be a foot. Thanks J. J? Rod are you like the biggest? Have you heard about the have you heard about those corduroy pillowcases? They're making headlines. I had any. You have any bad jokes knowingly. Good jokes. He was serious. I only good jokes bags a good bad. Right. Or you get good jokes JV. Jay. No. Can you Google crab? Never give to charity. Christie pay penny pinchers. What because they're shellfish. Why are facts JIRA, the only one are you ninety. Are so tickled. You are so bad. Okay. I have one. Yeah. Did you hear about the constipated accounting? He couldn't budget. So he had to work it out with a paper and pencil. Let's just. I don't. Jytte like budge the poop like the budget legit to work it out, the paper and pen. Okay. We'll do a near sided gun color, just in puppy having comment. Jesus. Knows. Touche? Straight up with Ross Mathews. We should ask the listeners to send in their bad jokes. Okay. Your bad jokes anything. So I don't have to create content. We'll be right. Nikki. Yeah. Not the lime peaking or anything. But. Okay. Question to ask. You know? I'm man, right. Yeah. Right. 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Over twenty thousand dental professionals quip starts at just twenty five dollars. And if you go to get quip dot com slash straight talk right now, you'll get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack, four free at get quip GT, Hugh, U P, get quip dot com slash straight talk. You want mumbo jumbo jive. Job. Oh, john. Only one. This is straight talk with Ross MAC yacht. Is welcome back to the program. You know what I was thinking about? We sit is we have, you know, beautiful microphones and headsets like headphones go over your ears. And what I realized when I took my headphones off. I was like oh my God. You know, when your noses stuff, you can't breathe through it. On your throat is sore and your ears are plugged. Headphones on your ears. Don't feel good. Everything extra loud. I took it off. And it was like wait year. Like, I'm hot my ears. Stick your ears. Get hot headphones on earmuffs. Hot. Hot. I feel like I'm feel human soup. If you like roast God brought sounds good right now. What are you supposed to lose your appetite when you're sick? Yeah. I did for three days. Right. Look skinny. Oh, hey, member member this. Dean. Barry says. Mike and Mike. Neil fouls sample. I lean Eileen. You. Eulex Wayne pair. Wayne. Mike. Little. European. P. That. Together wrote the original as well as all that really. I look over during the time. I you could tell he was really he was enjoying it. He was coming beard. Oh with a brush, just no, I know you're listening, but I've never seen human. You guys. Do you hear that? I hear what is that? Why do we have crackles nap? Currently I'm coming on. My nets. I can hear that. But we all just heard a crackle on the record. And I don't know if that the beard combing is me. Can we listen to the beard combing? Oh, yeah. Is your beard extra long now that you just kind of letting wrangle all out how long are you gonna get just wanna see? 'cause usually cut it down our cut it often. Just you know, how come in. Let it grow got a couple of little I don't like too long of a beard. Oh, I do. I do too. I do not that weird. Oh, no, no on this show. No. I think it looks good CJ frames your face really nicely to boo. Yeah. Thanks good time for a long. I don't. Baby here. And he's a comb stuck in his was saying. Not everybody stopped. We don't like we're like an editorial board on a newspaper. We don't like long beards. Right. We speak as one. Can you? Good question beard. I had a beard in highschool sweet girl haven't seen her. All right. Let's get back to this. There's a there's a trend going on in fashion that I I'm I'm behind it. I just want to get your thoughts here. I think you'll be behind this. I really do. This isn't a joke. This is a real trend going on fashion. Okay. A New Jersey man is crowdfunding unique hoodie a hoodie with one very special feature. What do you think this special feature? Is. Ross Ross Ross Ross. Snafu oversized Asian man in the front row. Is it something like prevent from like something for over your nose prevent you smelling other darts. Nope. Next. Matthew russell. Tall muscular black man in the in the back. Does it does? It have something like a cooling system in. It does have a fan. And he came in his fifties. White white does it have headphones in in now. Next anyone else? No, I'm racist. Extra pocket. Here's extra pocket for something. How about that? It's Hockett for something specific. Your cell phone. Nope. I would argue a normal a hoodie has the pocket to your cell phone. Well, I'm I'm thinking of the actual hood. No, it's not on the hood. It's a hoodie. It's a pocket designed to keep your. Pizza warm. The. Winslet's we all been there. We are walking wearing a hoodie and thinking like God damn I wanna pizza warm pizza right now. Actually, that's kind of a good idea core pizza like sometimes I wanna keep food warm having home from that's a good. I imagine if you had a hoodie that rather than opening and said, I want to take this man's idea and co home lamented, I'm not gonna guy fee. I read this guy. I'm not going to steal the good idea and say I came up with it like needed for me, which I'm not allowed to discuss on this program. I my lawyers have advised me not. I'm at the law firm of finger nugget and depends. That's funny. Dip in. Anyway. Imagine no a hoodie. Normally, it's like, you you you can enter like a muff you enter your your hands in the side of the of the pocket in the front, right? Yeah. Reimagined that hoodie if you will same pocket, but opens from the top and seals, okay. And in there is an insulated thing. So you go get a twenty piece nugget, but you've got a thirty minute drive right in that box. That's gonna get cold and cold nugget J rod marine anyway. So what you do is. You would then emptied open up your pouch your hot pocket. Yeah. Okay. And you would dump your. That's twenty twenty between dick. And it's kind of Tim Foyle. You know, like kind of like I said UCLA right in your pocket, then it's right there. So what you can do while you're driving. If you want and what I would do. And this is this is I got I have a copier Hatton yet, a patent on this there'd be a side thing in the front in offcial where you could put sauce vast. Right. It'd be it'd be on the zipper zipper. It would be a big enough that you could put a sauce in there. Right. So then while you're driving you could unseal quickly reach in seal back up for nugget by so you have five nuggets on the drive, right? Anyway, the point is this. It's a it's a it's a hoodie with an insulated pocket in the front. Yeah. Would you buy it? I totally buy because it also work work as a nice Jackie to keep you warm CJ. Okay. What would we call it? What we call this. Jackie this hoodie. Out of stock. Doc sold out. Named it right now. I named it. Doc. No howdy. Howdy Hoti hoodie. How do you? It's a hobby hoodie with this. No. The boo one in an airplane, and you open that magazine that's in the in the in front of you. You look at all this useless things that nobody would ever buy that would be sky mall. You'd be going. You're being. Nikki boyer. Oh discounted coming home. At me. I think it's a good idea. It is. Totally utilize the worst part of the story fine. I'm gonna get you know, what the what? The worst part of his entire story. God what I prefer pizza cold? The. True story through. One. To be. Hey, email. We Email me Ross at St. talk with Ross. Comes from Claudia hyrax from Sacramento. And currently I'm in my last semester of university. I love your podcast, and I often listen to it on my commute to school. It makes being stuck in traffic much more enjoyable anyway, my very important question is about. Fash the she's the veggie when the podcast used to be live Fags. She always did dance when the balls deep theme song came on. Now, the show isn't live on video anymore. Enquiring minds want to know does fact Z still do the dance I've been dying to know about this quite some time now. So I thought I'd Email and ask a great question. Lots of love to the whole crew. And thanks for all that you guys do. Claudia Claudia that question. I love it too. Thank you. Balls with bags? Girl, I need to know. The question here, by the way, I know. Thank you Ross's chair so much better. I gotta adjusted to my heads. Don't his head sitting those the the shade. It's a lot better. Thank you. Claudia? Thank you for that. Thank you. I do not do the dance anymore. Why why did you stop because it was for the camera was for the listeners? Like, no one's people watching when you know when you're in the Pristina darling hostess studio. Yeah. Wait, wouldn't very good minute. To homo. Continue. I would do the dance if you'd like me to see if you enjoy it. Your segment coming up. I choose with do the. Claudia? Thank you. Going break. Are you mid sentence? Anyone I'm not even lifting. I can't believe that anybody recording. So. Tell me about this later. Okay. It sounds like it's a lot of fun. His balls or. Very full. So we'll get to the bottom of that. Two thousand nineteen has just started in yet. History has already been made the new normal is here have you seen it finally the moment when a product that once drove good people to the black market has been revealed as one that's now creating a global market. What inspired the symbol of counter-culture is at long last just culture. The new normal has arrived to your city to your neighborhood to the inside of your living room. Have you seen it watch the video and experienced the new normal at med men dot com, that's med men dot com. York calling me playing to see that your life is just one big giant. Gave me a ring because I am the king of fixing Chit. So funny contrast. I may not know what was show the way to get back on track. Friends lovers relationship. Woes Ben to keep you on your toes. So tell me what's wrong after this too long som-. I promise you that. All try my best to give you add vice where all be nice until it solve. I will not rest so become a phone or give me a bone. I don't know why I said that. But. Straight it fuckin-. That's be walking to grab your phone right now. Loves and. Refined. And how that's. Fee fi. Lack polly. Should little door? Stay. I was listening to of course, modify. Even listen to my show our show caucus, passes and condo every Saturday. You can stream it live five seven PM Pacific one. Great. Thank you, baby. I love when you guys are all on it to see always on it. But one seven three modify 'em dot com. You can listen, right? And I love doing the whole the report. Again, what it gets hot again? Let's start during the weather. Yeah. Well, I was listening, and I just had a conversation about doors day, and I was in love with this. And there's a part because she seems she starts singing around with yourself. I want to start doing more often. What do you mean? Like listening. Coming up. She's gonna sing a duet with herself like a round. I want to start doing that. Listen. It's going to happen here in one second. Okay. Trust me. But imagine if you could say do with yourself. Listen. Strugging outcome on doors. Dissipation anytime. Now, don. Who's? Person. One. Just about the hempseed. Fees. That's what I okay, I love that. But I don't think it's too wet. She sounds like she just thinking kind of backed up with around because each version of her singing different part. I only saw this one time my entire life. I was in Las Vegas in saloon Dion saying with a hologram version of herself I live for stuff. Like that is my God, my point is this pretty soon to be doing just this podcast with to me. Don't you agree? I do I have to say look great. I was just going to say the same about. That was be relieved funny action. He said he said. Agreeing. But other other other artists have done do wets with themselves Barbra Streisand has duet album where she sings one song with herself like a real duet. That's great. Yeah. There's rate that is a level of of egocentric. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is. I wanted to do a song with raiders singer. This generation or any generation mice now. Great name of records getting called duets. Jeff duet. Okay. Balls with backs. Give it to me give it to give it to be hard. Balls steep fatty. Okay. I have a ball's d for everyone. So I didn't I didn't dance the microphones. So like. I'm going to start a CJ strap. CJ? Okay. So this whole I don't want to ask you about the I was gonna ask you about the Jesse smell at the whole situation there. But I wanna say CJ covers in his podcast. I listened to this episode the episode you had on the singer. And I okay, let me just tell you. He covers the whole thing's. I go to his podcast and listen to eylau we hard. Can we kick it on I tunes and wherever you get your podcast. I laughed so hard because. Okay. You know, the letter that Jesse wrote to himself like did that whole crazy, maybe allegedly. Okay. Says stupid. Sure it made me laugh so hard because I looked at that. I saw that letter that letter on the news right that he allegedly wrote to himself. What does that look like, I can't place? He's the bodyguard. Listen, if it's if it's real thing awful. It's awful awful. No matter what it's all. It's exactly like the covers it in his podcast that race. So listen to CJ. Yeah. His reaction to all that. And did you go to the troubadour to see him? Did you go? Well, explain what it was like right after the attacks because he had a concert already sort of planned, but people are tickets selling, blah, blah. I don't I don't know all that. I got invited. I went to the show and the family came out, and they had a prayer circles or the new information from right, and he called herself like the gay to park and what he's going through. And we were like gam- again until things are. Yeah. I'm still kind of you know, my girl on the show. She's like now that's him. He'll I I know I'm still dancing still kinda like figuring it out. So it was good. How you handled out? And I I laughed and what is race chaser. Because I saw online people were saying like they saw you on something called race. Chase. Sir. I don't know what William and Alaska podcast. I went to the live taping ace hotel and then Willem haram by and they were asking they were doing a quick round. And will recognize she was oh CJ. Hey, what's your question? So I just and I'm on the podcast this week. Oh, I like that show. Yeah. A lot of stuff. He does. I leave the house like once a week. And I'm thrilled with. You too. I only leave the house ones. I'm talking about when feel great. True. Threats. Come on. That's good for you cold. Where's my little background music? Not not stretching being do about have to go. Both teams. Oh, did you ever think? You know? I I noticed that. On the Yukos did that post on Instagram about like what the listeners want us to talk about? Yeah. And I re- I read a lot of them. And a lot of people really wanted like are you smarter than Mark? Okay. Yeah. So have you ever thought play smarter than Blarke? We're you play Mark. The voice one of us can like host it of like, do you just do it as Mark? He's not here. We should do that. If you haven't already thought to do anything. He is really smarter than my. The answers. No, so smarter. The Mark I'll give you the history of ARGUS stolen from are you smarter than a fifth grader, right? Where thrown. Poll compete against fifth grader, right? And it was sort of like, well, these normal people can they be smarter than Mark. Now. Mark on paper should be really really, really smart. Right. Like, this is not a dumb person. He just gets in this own way. Sometimes right. So I thought wouldn't it be funny listeners pleading dark because Mark kind of is our fifth grader in many ways. Right, right. You know, like he's a girl scout now, right? So the cookies. Funny, though, you could be stopped. I think you could pay got his p bottle badge. Yeah. You. I think we should do it. I think funny. Okay. All right. So your mom. Do you all the guy? He's such a great time. My mom. You guys is doing so great, you know, cancer free and goes back in December for the yearly checkup and feeling great. And a Harris going out. I love that you told her you took her to a salon will something had to be done. Don't cats show. She was complaining, she's gorgeous. I'm Maher that she's here. I don't care about hair care about here. I thought it was sweet that you took her somewhere to she was complaining about everyone. She goes, oh, I looked like a dead skirl, squirrel. My head gray. I hate it as a slice the core. 'cause I called Adrian agent Qatar who does my hair in Palm Springs got a beautiful salon Adrian al-qatar studios. Great. So I bring her there. She's knows Adrian Sudani how we're doing here. She goes. Oh, oh God. No long. All you've been doing. It's completely like dawn. Her husband, basically, it was like you just get. What you just won't get, you know. I know I'm fine. No. We are here. I made an appointment like Adrian's make any money. If we don't do what you are doing it. She's like, I don't need anything. I I'm fine. We just like bulldozer. I said we're going to have to run here that. Yeah. I do that. So she's like oh. She couldn't stop looking yourself on the belong. So happy to take a picture, send Bunka who's her mom? She loves it. Good for. That's great Ross. You. I love that you posted about your dad, and I never seen a picture of your dad. So I was I stared at that picture for so long. See who looks like in the family. And I also wanted to bring that bad joke thing kind of up today for your dad. Yes, I feel like I didn't know him. But I hear him through you. And I see him in you, and the jokes feels like he would love those like he would love. Did you like good Joe blow you bad jokes? He loved rate jokes like his humor wasn't it a little tiny. What did he say whenever he'd asked for four ki Tae four like this. And what did he say a Spanish? My god. My mom told me something that he said. And it was something that I would say it was like some sort of possibly made it about fucking. You know, what I mean, it was some sort of sexual? Yeah. So he the twenty fifth February would have been seventy five which is like mind blowing because he died at fifty nine. And so I still picture him laying young, you know, and healthy while of that you paid tribute to him like that on Instagram. I really really love that. I wanna I gotta get to Nick, I have some more for you tater tots jacket. You posted that that was that a tater tot Josh go to Hello Ross pod. See a picture of data whose Tayo my best friend one of lucky enough to have you all included, you know, NC j two is here. Anyway, I. I hadn't seen her since her birthday and everything and I was on Instagram, and they were these like t the sweat shirts that had like all printed on them. And so I'm like swiping see and one had tater tots. And I was like I was like eating. I was like, you know, like a half a bottle of Chardonnay end at. And it came and it was so tacky and the material feels like don't walk by a fire. You know, just it's awful. It's basically for a photo before show. I throw it away after you open. Which opened it. It's tater tots over it. We took a picture of her setting the oven for fifty 'cause you know. She's so beautiful. And that Jagger was funny. I thought you got it a hot topic? I saw something online Ross that call and this gets unity but called cousins. Oh. One. Away. That's the recipe. If you want to make it. Okay. Thank you for success sets Lena down on the ground. I think she wants down here mining. Thank you. So is this thing called cousins? Did you do that with big brother? Do you that last year this year? Okay. So I watched found like accidentally watch you were really great on it. But this is talking about duet. I think there is a show with Patty Duke in the fifties or sixties called the Patty Duke show, and she played. She was cousins you remember that it was so funny. I feel you or so you should do Patty do show remake like the Ross Matthew show where you play. I play Patty. Do you play? You have a cousin. But it's you wait. I can be Roz my lesbian sister. Okay. Exactly. I it would be you had you ever see the Patty Duke show on my God, their cousins and one is from like some crazy land in weird. And it's really funny. So I just thought that's a great idea for you. Can we do it? Can we film it? What about right now? I'm like too exhausted. Okay. Nick stretch Vicky. Alright. Use wet Selena out. Sorry. Welcome to home studio. I feel like she's got a poop. She's like walking around. Yeah. Go outside. Yeah. Why don't I take her to Pupo you finish balls? Okay. Larrea? You're so good on Wendy. Oh, thank you. Are you really are? Yes. So cure. Thank you. It was such a KOMO poopie. I love it. They're taking a dump during. It's important. I am no Nikki's talking shit. Mickey russo. Great. Thanks a lot cruel. I have to say Wendy's coming back on I think Monday on the and while she was gone. She had a bunch of people filling in for her. I was looking up to be called. I didn't know what I was getting into. I thought I would just going to do a little topic like five minute segment, I get there. And I'm realizing that we're all hosting the show and the best part about all of it was getting to meet Carla hall who I'm obsessed. She's Debbie Smith. This great Michael is great. Carson Kresa everyone. First thing Carson sesame is let's take a picture and send it to Ross. It was so cute and back. I knew is amazing. How was her poop Tricia was just got here? So she was outside watering plants. So she's with the girls. No good. Okay. Was such a good experience. It was really great. I had a blast. But more than anything in this business. Everyone's really out for themselves. Sometimes when I got on that panel. I was a little concerned. 'cause I thought gosh, you know, how do you find your voice with four people that you just met? How do you find chemistry and the people that I worked with were? So. So loving and giving and warm and kind and they reminded me of you off. It's like working with Ross. It's all about building each other key. Please lovely. Articulate and smart, and you knew when to come in and just stay quiet, and it was great. I had friends from national. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Texting loving loving people watching from all over the country so much fun. Now watching I have to bring up the fact that you hosted a Libya Newton, John. Uh-huh. Oh, I did that so funny. I saw that somebody posted something about that. Amy does a bio-pic. Right. Well audition. Yeah. I hosted a fig Newton. Gosh. Title of the show should just be called. They wanted so many fruity. Oh, my. I did the voice of a living John, and she was a huge star. Seven dynamic. Yes. John. I I like I like the video to let's get physical because it turns gays it does. Yeah. That was groundbreaking that was in the eighty right? I mean, you're controversial. And actually, let's get physical was the little linen fact. Let me hear your body talk, buddy talks. Right. When. We did potty talk with Mark. We put his p bottles medals, and he had to he had historical quotes. We said, let's get quotable photo. Both let me hear your potty talk. That's potty bringing a full circle. I was just impressed. She inspired as an artist. She's inspired. Thanks. Yeah. I was gonna ask everybody a living Newton John song. Because I didn't know if any of you would know who she was. Yeah. But like can you do it? Do you now? It is that you saying. Summer Lovin Joe, I wrote down here. Nothing from Greece foundry. Well, I think I one. Yeah. You did. Let's. You don't know any other Libyan Jonzon? Ho or that's from crease. She like. You never been mellow. No. You don't know. That's no. No, no. I don't know it. All right. I guess we'll move on. All right. Those are my Newton Jones. I love it. I'm a big fan of used to be a huge fan of her. I thought it was great you hosted. We can't somebody's seeing shallow. They were saying hit us on. No more. Will you sing? I kind of feel like that to like go hit. I thought what did you think about that whole Academy Awards? I would love to tell you. Okay. And you can hear my thoughts on pop talk. Detail podcast. Hop talk. There. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's week. I don't want to shallow with you just a little bit. Do it. Oh god. No. Can you pull up the karaoke? Here you're sick. I don't want to. We it's already been done. Like, you know what I mean? That's like somebody singing the witch Chris song on the if they tried to the witch Chris song, I at the Oscars. It's like they wouldn't do that. Because I've already done it perfectly. What right. That's not even how it works. I would love they would they would never play the callers. I'm calling you because your your call in meek because it's playing they wouldn't do them the Oscars and they don't want to compete with the perfection. I've did I see what you're saying. You're saying. Okay. I have one for j Robbins too deep. So I'm going to turn it gets. I had policy. Check, my balls. They're kind of empty. Yeah. Wow. That's the wrong. Chair rods. Confused another. News. Out to Nikki. The love of God. Sorry. Rich rich. Thank you for this. This is a very lovely NICKY believable. And if you have an Nikki believable Senate to Nikki b. This is good as. I had to send you one story. But I got distracted. This is from rich, by the way, I mentioned rich by the time. I remember Email you actually thought of two more so rich stories. Okay. The second story I need to reread because it is so graphic and creepy and weird that I can't even share it. It's about deaths Rouge ships gonna save that for next. Good. Okay. No. I can't even go into it because it's so fucked up, but this one here. It was my head in my hands. And I took all my straighten lift. Float. I'm sorry. It was really funny kind of fading. Right back down. Also semen joke. I can't think of one that's what I would do if I was a hundred percent. I'd make a seaman joke. I have to sift through it. Because I was confused while I was on my quill growing up in New England. This is a different story. I always lived in old houses when I was around fifteen my grandmother moved in with us. We the key. We could keep a closer eye on her and her advancing years. I was always her favorite her being a painter in me being wealthier. Geek, we spent hours together talking about nothing feelings laughing. The whole house was carpeted, and none of us coming around the corner. So we would scare each other all the time grandmother, and I made a high made a signal of high-pitched like a doorbell to let anyone know that we were right around the corner. It was rather funny here in the whole family. We all the way I do that. When you around the hand, the Billy. Graduate. That's a Pillsbury dough. Boy, sorry, not me. Honest mistake when I graduated from high school, the family decided to downsize, and we all moved into my grandmother's seventeen seventy Cape house. I became a commuter student at a local state college in one day. I drove and came into the house, and I looked around for my mother to tell her something important. I heard who from the hall to the right? I haven't heard that in a while since the house did this particular house didn't have any carpeting and the wood floors creaked. But not thinking I went right toward the hallway said mom who from upstairs. Mom must be in the bathroom upstairs. I thought I went upstairs not there. Either mom who downstairs. I went downstairs just in time to see my mom pull up in her car. She had been out doing errands. And I thought well, we'll that's really odd. How could she be who who ain't if she's outside? And I said, wait grandmother, and I heard who minds you my grandmother had been gone for three years. This time. Hope you enjoyed the story. His candy. I love this story because I always wonder if the inside jokes that we carry in our lives, if they if they go with you, and you can still continue those. So you got who from your grandma, and I love that. So if any of you guys die Smick sure to let me know where you on the other side. Well, please let me try at your sigma be well, Nicki, please. I think I think if we say Hello Ross pod. Hey, wait. No. But. CJ you try you try it once just say just say, Hello Russ. Putt. Do you? Did you say that? Hello Ross pod. True. Yeah. Worked I worked actually she's really good. She's healthy. She's not sick. She's on the dash. Don't you get me dumped, don't you laugh is healthy? As can be sounds great doesn't have these worldly cough. Homelike a horse. Who? It's real channeling the just let me know where you guys are. Aside. Please. The story rich. Block block Vicky. The salon just came out. It is fire crack it is called a when I get home. So long launch of the sister of beyond say. Really good came out last night. She this whole Lonzo black pile black planet, which is like black setup for my base back in the day for black folks. There's a whole different team. Or you know, what I mean, do they use any of the same producers or that? I don't. To find out if I was salon. I would be like I would need to be one of two camps. Like, no, I'm not using anyone ever worked with. Home. I'd be like, hey, Beyonce. Can can I use your producer? She definitely didn't even on our first half. And when you listen to it. It's just sounds and use it, and it is it's gorgeous in like getting in your ears. So we lost her album. Not your home is amazing. Mariah Balenciaga's on my show. Can't here this week. And we're talking on the extract raise ten percent drag racing in ninety percent. How it relates to the culture of the people? And it's it's it's a really great the beautiful conversation with Mariah Balenciaga this week. Oh, and I just want to send out love and. Good light energy to our friends out in Russian Reverend gurney real with everything that's going on up there because to see the photos, videos and our friends at our three. Yeah. He posted Roger posted a video just he's like, I'm in tears right now. And it's like lily water to the top of the doors can't brindles up in the county at San Francisco when it's great to game out, basically in the frisky friscos there. And so see go up quite a bit. And we love it there, and they just had had awful flooding. Right. I wish there. Okay. As friscos. There's been a lot of flooding in Guerneville than lots of parts of Guerneville are like an island. You know? So our friscos can't get into. But they're home safe right now. So they are safe. So I just want to give love to our friends. Yeah. So do me a favor when the when the rains dry up, and especially this spring in the summer head up to earn Ville, and as they will be build quickly. They know what they're doing. And they're going to need the tourist money up there. Trust me. The people are incredible. You have a great time are three is a great sort of gate. It's like a pool with a bar burgers during the day spaghettis Italian restaurants, right there, we go. Tall flood. But then there's the rainbow which is a bar. The mean street go up their support GERD Ville, they had awful fires this year up. And now these floods mother nature's angry going on and is going on. Yeah. Now, I've this cold because that's par. That's the same. Thank you. See? Jay quickly got a wrap it up. Just just get tossed. So just a quick, yes. Or mesh? So I'm a huge boy band fan. I don't know that boy bands rain now rank does anything, okay rank? In sync backstreet boy new kids on the block in ninety eight degrees. In town rank those five will determine a lot in my favorite boy band of all time, and San I hang with the fellas. Hang with the fellas boyfriend was that I never see you win them. But it's all good because I'm glad that I met him. Okay. Was good that was a test. And you pass makes me ill. It's the best instinct song ever, it's great. It's great. So my friend Michael's Akio. He's also he has his own Mike love podcast and whatnot. We're thinking about making a boy band podcast to know. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I would need straight talker support in that got to put it on IT all that good stuff. It's in the works right now. We're thinking about it just wanted your approval, I was really excited about it. I'm like should I be excited about absolutely I couldn't be anywhere excited about a podcast harmonization nation. Oh, harm boy band band. Brothers band, boys. I'm working I'm not working. And then yes, straight talker semi your names. Maybe some ideas. So incidence. I in backstreet boys, definitely new kids on the block ninety degrees. Oh town. Wow. You do know Jim battlecruiser being Destiny's Child just little bitty site from China Jiang dreams and Lawler narping. They really don't have much Kim. So impressed. Liquid dreams. So let me can I just I need to wrap this up. But you bring up town I need to do it. So we're gonna go go here. Let me just find Oton. There's the show on ABC called there were different iterations of it. But this was cold making making the being on d- and town was a bunch of like guys put together who made this band, and they had this. It was bad. But they had this one song called liquid dream, which I know joke love on. I'm gonna find it right here whereas liquid here, it is listen to this. You're gonna love it. It's the height of what year is is out. I can even out early thousand one. Thousand one thousand. Yeah. Listen to this. This is called liquid dream. They're putting together their fantasy woman. Right. And that gives them a wet dream good. Okay. Garrity? Listen. Yeah. I actually sent a text is somebody who I'm like, you know, at the side. Yeah. Could icy can I liquid what dreams karaoke? And he was like, yes. So picture this a on? Okay. Back to full health yours. Yes. I love that. I love that epic it. It's honestly sounds like a king is going to listen. Listen, listen. Listen twice words. She comes to love it. Me. No about this pop song. Get ready. Natural food dot extreme. Jay Rodriguez and cheese. So fine. Buys natured, supermodel Buick clean. About a girl Destiny's Child just a little bit of Donald pasta with javon Jackson spa. Janet Jackson smile. Of. My by quick dreams. What is legit? What? You went ice start being peace, please. I would love that. Absolutely. I didn't even banned. Let's do it. Man bands. Older C J D. What do we need a base needs to be the guy who on the bridge, baby? He's already implanted. You'll ready. You'll ready. No. No. Because you're like, the deep voice one. We need you, please. Oh, no boys in the no boys demand. Boys. Do you want to be in our man band? Yes. You said, yes, he said sure he mentioned you to your liquid during audition very quickly. Yeah. Just say just say, look what dream? Yeah. Can it be like a black now? I mean, yes, we'll do everything. Love to you. Okay. Rank. Oh, I like that solid glove too. You do. Awful. Yes, I'm sick over here. This makes me feel politics. Gather on could be the base of this man band voices. So. Have your boy, you can't leave out the boys. You can't leave out ABC you can leave. If the ball you came. New addition. I mean, I love elba's, right? Might be boy ban listens. Very white boy band. So white. Name. Let's be honest because black boy bands come on Micky sale word. It works. Van rural good music, and they're better. They don't have have the label of boy bands, white boy bands. Or like, we all white. We are boys. Mickey. Yeah. On spear with Pena films. Following chemo? Tell them the new so excited. I got my name on Instagram at Nikki Boyer on all platforms. Oh. Fucking twisted. My lamp. Okay. Everyone's all right at Mickey Boyer on also meeting, and I k CJ CJ life C J A Y A Y F E J. Rod is Josh underscore Rico's underscore that exe- faxing Malone. I am. Hello ross. And the program is Hello Russ. Awed. And in many ways, he's up. And in many ways dip into fuck. Sorry. What's out? Thank you so much for coming here. And letting me infect you with it. A leave you with Jay rod singing the rest of liquid dreams J rods. Take it away. A model? Job. Style. When. Please. Thank you. Jimmy girl have makes Desi shop just a little touch of Madonna's while south. We chanted Jack Jesse UK. Drains. Down with what? Dreaded track mile. Jennifer. What's rain? But strains of whoever TRL that we? You fun.