Ep. 572: I'm Doing My Best with Matt Braunger
Give little time for the child within you don't be afraid to be young and free onto the lock central away, the keys and take coffee shirts and sex and run you. It's Jordan Jesse go. Jesse thorn full of curry de Jordan Morris? Nah, not Jordan should want full of curry about a year men values. You would've told me about this? I like to be on the same level as you. I like to bring the same energy. So get. I asked you before every podcast, right? I ask you to do me the service right of telling me what you had for dinner. How much sleep you got the night before? And if you have jacked off because I wanna come in with the same energy, you're gonna come with the same. Come right? The same amount of come right? This is really changed as a podcast. Yeah. I'm familiar. It's better. Now, by the way, it's better now because we're really trying to sync up, but we've got this guy's just eating curry willy nilly. We got an app called sisters with Z O, and we're trying to just get on the same path, by the way, our guest on the program this week. You know him, of course, as a standup comic an actor a podcast or above all else. You know him as a cast member of mad TV. Oh god. Matt bronco. All else. Also, do you think do you think and maybe have to have asked Brian to check the archives? But is this meant are. You are first and only guest to officially be part of the marvel cinematic universe. I can't speak for the your thousands of other guests. Yes, I am. I am perhaps the lamest member of the entire moment marvel universe. No. I mean, listen, I think you were great as Ronan the accuser. I'm proud of it as as the beyond her. Secret wars to. Yeah. No. I I have a bit about this. But a friend of mine was like go to the marvel Wiki and put your guy in your in there and the picture they took looks like I I it's just a still from the show where I'm looking up, and like I'm I looked like I wasn't ready for a picture taken. But it also has my signature quote. So with characters you have the signature quote. So with captain America his signature, quote is from I think the last ventures where he's likely fuck you Nazis. I wish it was something like, it's it's basically like we're not here, we we're not asking forgiveness some way past asking for permission earth, just lost. Their greatest defenders. We're here to fight. And you were standing in our way, then we'll fight you to real strong, great my character, Dr Allah wishes Sam Burley. This is I'm doing my best. I love it so much cream it before you run into battle like no one who's ever doing. Well has ever said they're doing their best. We should explain by the way that if people don't know, Dr Allah wishes Sambor Lee, that's that's what they call a secret identity the characters name his dork o Tron. Darko Trump is what he what he changes into. Yeah. Brass when very angry uncle fart face. Signature quote. Loser. Mic crooked, dick. You're in the agent Carter TV. Where do you? Where did you say? I'm doing my best. What was the context of that line diffusing your now, so famous I was defusing a bomb? Are you screaming at me or anytime Sabri, unlike I'm doing my best? So are you like a guy who's they someone yells enhance that? I could be but like Hermano of mining something. My guy was alive like Mary Lynn rice cub on twenty four a lot like her. But more I was a scientist in the forties. So we didn't have a lot of TV screens that we could do anything all you really had was nuclear weapons nuclear weapons. Yeah. And it was the show was kind of like the advent of superpowers post World War Two, and this little crack team misfits that they got assigned almost like the X files. Like, the users would your character. Did he have precedents precedent in the comics like is that a comic care to mention of the was made up for the show. Okay. He was made up for one episode and I played him. And then the writers liked having me to play with. So they kept writing. In. And is there is there gross fan art of you somewhere? I don't know. Maybe there's gotta be and, hey, if there's not draw Samadi. That's funny. I have gotten a lot of people like bring him back. Yeah. I was like the comic relief on the show, and like you had Inver, my friend and the the fairy very handsome guy played the chief. And I was always snapping at him. Like, I would drive him. Crazy. I'd like to see I'm really spitballing here, Dr Allah wishes what was really Sam Burley, Dr Allah wishes San Burley giving a sly h j to sonic. In the fan, art, not in future. Marvel's hedgehog. Yeah. Okay. Not certainly not the hamburger chain just or does that doesn't have a an operating Fallas named sonic, Joel letters. There's some character. I hadn't heard right. That was exactly who wants to be one kanobi. So Dr Allah wishes Pembrey San Burley Sam Burley is given a sly Jada Sonning in the fan art and the watchers their and he's just using one eyebrow. You know, the watchers nasty he likes to watch the nasty cuck and he's buried to sonic. So it's yeah, he's he's for this. We should be able to see his ring and Sonics array, right? Yeah. Someone's someone right now sitting down to their their drawing they've just cracked. Glad I got this new wack com, tablet, and go ru. So, but in addition to being part of the marvel cinematic, I which were really glad to have you. You know, you could help us get in touch with Ronan the accuser would love to have him on a problem. Yeah. Some point he's reaching out more. Oh, yes. Sure. Yes. His he has a podcast now. Accuses people things right. It's not a bad concept. I quick if you see anyone who's in the DC universe. Could you ask if I could talk to firestorm the nuclear, man. Sure. Thank you. We've covered. You also I learned from Twitter just got back from seeing Diana Ross in Las Vegas was. It was amazing. It was a great show. She's still got the pipes. She's obviously having a lot of fun. This is the last night of the run before she goes back in June, and my wife this week was just like should we go see diner Austin, Las Vegas. Yes. Because my wife has just been working these ungodly hours, and she's always stressed out and frazzled and she loves us Vegas. She loves to shoot craps. And so I was just like great. Let's do it. And so we just flew there yesterday and just flew back today. You guys are fun. We are pretty fun. Yeah. Pretty fun. And it's fun to be married to someone who's fun and be you don't need to have the fun. You used to have ten years ago. Right. You know what? I mean, we're I'm just gonna burn this night to the ground. I think we are in bed by one. You know, you know, like still still got like wings and fries brought to the room. You know, what I mean that is service? Just watching TV eating on the bed as a great. It was great. What is the crowd like Diana Ross? You know, it's it's a lot mostly old straits and young gays. No guys what I found and. Lot of lot of groups of older black folks and a lot of like a huge amount of of young gay couples. Okay. Yeah. There were there. I love to go see live music, you know. And I'll I have a I love it too. It's live music. I I, you know, what you know, what I love travel wish I could travel. I'm kind of weird. I love drought. Also, blowjobs a great tough three. That's a that's a. That's a tough Sigourney pork chop. Let's see. I basically just did a Thompson gir- joke as an old joke about about people who are like travels kind of my thing. Like, oh, really? Yeah. What else? Do you like man, steaks and blow jobs? Wineries joke. Yeah. I yes. That is. I mean that is something that you that that I have encountered a lot like doing like online dating is just a person who's profile is all about how much they love travel. Like, this is my thing. And it's not it's never and when you talk to them about it. It is rarely about what they learned or inexperience. It's just a list of places here is a list of places I have been to them. It did not affect me emotionally at all. But I have a fucking lists. Like, thank you, Mr. Griswold. Sure. Where else did you? Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like with live music. I feel like I see, you know, the the sweet spot for me is like stuff that was popular between nine hundred ninety six and two thousand and six. But I'm like, I should see more legends. I should go out of my way anymore ledgers legend. It's a Las Vegas show in Las Vegas shows. It's all the hits. It's short is out an hour and fifteen minutes. Yeah. They they gotta get you out of their camp buffet gotta hit the hit the hit the tables. You can't Bruce Springsteen. It you can't do a three hour long thing. And she it just moves moves moves, and it's still it's great. And so it's just I know it's all these hip is all these songs, we just like I forgot about this one. And it's it's cool just to see someone who knows exactly what they're doing. And it's just like this is really nothing to me. But I still love it. But it's just kind of that level of effortless. Effortlessness? That's just incredible. I think what's nice about it too. Is if you're gonna see show in Las Vegas. You wanna see something that works in that context? Right. Which is to say, you basically you want to see something gay. Sure, and Diana Ross is an example of something that I would love to see that's very gay. Gay that would work beautifully in that context. Absolutely. Like, I've always thought like I would love to see share in Las Vegas. But I don't particularly like shares music share seems like a cool funny lady. Yes. I the same way about gun or. Yeah. Like Bette midler seems like such an awesome lady. I don't necessarily want to listen to her. She can sing should a great singer. I don't necessarily wanna listen to her music. But like, they interested music. I actually like, yeah. No. It was there wasn't a dud in the bunch. There was like, you know, that she's got a lot of like slow songs that you're kind of know if I want to hear that or whatever. But even that was just like, you know, what she did reach out and touch somebody's hand. Everybody started putting their arms around each other. And I'm like, hey, like, this is actually really nice. Yeah. I would you see a show of share where half of it is music and then half is just her composing tweets live. I mean, I would definitely watch this show where half of it is shared doing music. But with full production numbers. Sure. And half of it is her sparring with David Letterman. I would love her just like do a song. And then she sits down and just tells some crazy fucked up story like I feel like the Quincy Jones interview just cracked open all these all these older icons that are like, oh, we can talk like that. No share has that. Oh my God. You know, just hear stories shared did blow and punch James Caan at some point of some point. Yeah. She calls him. Jimmy, sure she calls him Jimmy. Yeah. And like like there was probably like there's there's a boys night only at the playboy mansion where they like James Caan all the men would fuck each other like the whole thing of of where like Marlon Brando had sex with Richard Pryor, and Marvin Gaye it was just like wait hold on. And like such a fantastic fact, like I think I think the my theory is that's why Paul McCartney was like. Oh, I used to beat off with John. You know, what he was just like I think it's because of that Quincy Jones. Oh, yes. Lawyer to God doors are open why wouldn't have ever shared that before? What a weird thing where it's just like, that's the one thing. I guess he had probably never been asked about his career with the Beatles. Right. People. Way. We talk about wins. We talk about your solo work from the late eighty s and early ninety one about that song you wrote for destiny. Talk about your famous hayride. Does he ever? Hey, right. It goes on. Hey, ride in Michael Jackson. Video girl is mine. They go. They're gonna hate ride together was girls miners, say say say, maybe it's as I said, okay. Yep. Not that who cares. But they grow is mine is my preferred collab- oh way better song. Yeah. Way better song. I think I think someone probably was like, hey, Paul McCartney. Did you in the members of wings ever? Jack off in a circle did you ever Razi chain it, and he was like, no? But it's interesting that you ask I wonder if my other band what the traveling will berries, see the Pete best. He's me choke him. He walked a horse used it left the van because he wouldn't beat off with bet. I would think that the the within the career of the Beatles. Yeah. In there. You know, seven years they were operating whatever all better than clock. It never just went the distance. Right. You're like the Rolling Stones. I bet within that career that are so much sexual darkness. I bet there is so much. Yeah. Mind blowing shit. Yes. Probably some of it wild. I hope not but probably some very upsetting genuinely evil. I think was probably was well, see, I don't think any of those people weren't evil, and I had some point. And I think these are young men too. I mean, if you're a young man, and there are women that are just a stadium full screaming at you like they're so in love with you. I mean, that's that's going to be a level of temptation for you. That's just gross share. It's really gross. I mean, I think that like he probably has one that he's like, well, I could tell the story of the time that David Bowie put a crawdads on my testicles. Sure. But I'm going to test the waters with this Jack off story Z how it goes. And if they like it they're getting the crawdads. One. And I think it was probably I think. Yeah. I think that the reaction to the pollen. I Jack off together was was so that he probably will not be letting out the other stuff. Yes. There were just too many puns. There were just too many Beatles. Jack off puns they were too easy way. We all had fun with that. We can agree. It was a cute story. It was cute. Maybe it was it was innocent. Sure unit childhood buddy near meet together him. They just part of it them. Just yelling out the names of actresses. I think that was part of it like one of them would just go Brigitte Bardot and then. I don't know if he's probably like a speed contest. Oh, I don't know. Or was it just a like happening like a joint experience? It was like a cookie party. No that's for folks listening in England to call it a biscuit part last person to share has to eat. The cookie shirt you beat off onto a cookie. I'm my town. You we all know what to do on Easter Sunday. I'll actually Matt. I know I said to my dick and it's been a while. If you've been finishing last. But we, you know, usually at the end of the show we like take calls. But now we do that. Oh, so that's lovely kind of new institutes. Okay. We're here last. Yeah. And I already finished. So. Like ninety seconds ago as soon as Jordan said Brigitte Bardot. Yeah. I finished as soon as I mentioned Ronan the accuser, I feel like this didn't this is my main feeling about Paul McCartney. Besides these, of course, one of our greatest songs, I saw him in Vegas one of the legends. I've seen I saw him in Vegas. And I my caring about the Beatles is like low medium, I like had my high school new year thing where I felt like I had discovered them and then stopped got. But I yeah. I mean, I got weepy when he played Blackbird. It was beautiful fucking beautiful. It's a gorgeous legend. For the first time. I heard that song. I think I was in fourth grade in the car with my mom, and it just came on the radio, and I was one of those things like what is this song? Yeah. It was just I remember the moment like frozen in time. It is such a gorgeous. Yeah, it's lily. I think that Paul McCartney whether or not he is greatest rockstar or greatest songwriter of the twentieth century the last one hundred years, or however, you wanna frame it is our greatest popular musician at wearing fair isle sweaters. Now, what's that? That's kind of that's kind of English or Scottish sweater. That has the horizontal bands of decoration of that like a farmer in Yorkshire would wear. No. It's a feral sweater. I don't know. It's something that you may have made up just now it's a domestic sweater that escaped now outside got it. Pick one up at the pound, by the way, you know. Don't get your sweater job to sweater sweater too many sweaters. And can I say something else when you get a virgin wool sweater, get it fixed? Keep it a virgin, I mean, you know, when I'm sweaters, especially rescue sweaters who wore who. I'm biased. My cousin was was brought down by a pack of feral swell. Oh, all right. It was just bride did bring him down. They lent him up real bad. Oh, wow. Yeah. I can only imagine the abrasions. Yes. Oh, scratchy, scratchy wall. Yeah. Probably a Shetland like that. Maybe Shetlands, rush even. Man. Did I tell you that I went to the zoo? And I saw them a sheep. How'd that go? It was fucking amazing. There is a the LA zoo right now having something it's not called a Flamingo interlude. I think that movie the future. Yeah. This first time me and my friends checked off together watching shirt, Brigitte Bardot and Flamingo interludes. She's great in that. Yeah. And the Flamingo interlude. It's a thing where you go into their ten and feed them, and I won't change laundry. Yeah. And I want to do this. But boy, they smell bad that Flamingo area. Always stinks so bad. But I wanna feed them. I don't know what to do guy. You know, my daughter was very afraid to feed giraffe, which is her favourite animal. I've done that as well. Yeah. You can a lot of fun. You can stretch out at eucalyptus branch, or whatever it is that they feed to them was she afraid of the draft was she scared to be that high up in a tree. She was. Yeah. We'll. Right. Giraffe over. I where they do what they do is kind of bungee them up on up into the branches pull them up on a cord like a water bucket. There's a man up there who guild grab on tight. Okay. Good. You know? So that they once they make it to the right height. He's got to kind of reach out. Grab him by the shoulder surger, then they're kind of hanging there with their legs dangling in the air, and he slides them back onto the brand. Oh nice. That's nice. She was afraid because it's just too intense is just like a lot. So it's rafts are much larger than they should be. Yeah. And they have an unusual shape. Yeah. I'll say dead is too. Yeah. They look like they would like if they accidentally stepped on their young and killed that they would not feel anything. Much less. My young. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So she loved, but she loves giraffe. That's her favorite animal, and it probably took eight visits to zoo before she was willing to participate in the giraffe eating. Well. And when she did she found it to be transcended. They've got those long purple tongues. Yeah. That's a lot of fun then curve around and grab stuff. Did you was that your experience? Yeah. It was a blast tongue is powerful. You can feel the tongues power writing grabbing the branch from you. Right. It's like a it's like an extra four bucks. Best four bucks ever spent. Yeah. Do you think how do you think she'll she would handle the Flamingo interlude? I don't think she could handle the Flamingo influence. I think she would go wild possibly even buck wild. This. The the the stench you described which of course, we know is from sex is Flamingo having their interludes there. The horny is of the land much fucking, you know, hence, the expression fucked like from reassure we all just wild. Did you know that? That's why they're those. Okay. Flamingos natural. Feather color is actually white and it gets flushed from fucking. Yeah. After hits hits all from. It's all from red-faced exertion. Yeah. So if you see a white Flamingo, it's just a virgin writing they and then when they're paying that's what we call J B, F F, just fucked feathers. Yes. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Just to go eleven. It's Jordan Jesse go. I'm Jesse thorn, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris. Boy detective, hey, Jordan. Yes. Every single fucking episode of this fucking show is brought to you the listener. Now, I've switched from addressing you Jordan to you the listener by all of the maximum fun members who go to maximum dot org slash dirty, motherfuckers. Oh, are we still being nasties? Yeah. I'm as nasty as you wanna be. Okay. Cool. I wanna be about six or seven. Okay. I don't want to be nasty tonight. Okay. I'm tired. Okay. Do you mind? Calling me miss Jackson. Depending. We're also brought to you this week by our friends at the crew ZipRecruiter, Jordan, you know, I was just doing some hiring this past week. And do you feel like it was easy now? It's one of the hardest. Parts of running a business. I would say the some of the other ones are numbers, that's hard action figures of personal responsibility. That's a big challenge. There's a few different hard things about running a business. 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Go if you want to get up on the Jumbotron share your message with Jordan Jesse goes listeners, you can go to maximum fun dot org slash Jumbotron. If you want to buy some ads on Jordan, Jesse go. That's cool. Let's do it baby. How about a emailing so uptight? That stick out here rear. Do some paid marketing Email Kira maximum fund dot org. K I R A. We'll be back in just a second on toward Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse go. I'm Jesse thorn. America's radio sweethearts Morris boy detective mat- Braga AK Allah wishes. Matt congratulations on your new comedy special by the Vegas. Her finally live in Portland, Portland. Her I grew up there. Yup. And I this is the a nod to my hometown. And also just being I finally shot a special. They're kind of thing. And we did it last year ten year. Of tenth year of bridge down comedy festival, which I co-founded and a former porn theater, the lovely Paris. Really? Yeah. A lot of history a history a history. It was either a poor those Rawls could tie s or barf is. Yeah. It was it was the big three any of the ones the excretion that countered. Yeah. Travel. Barf Ingvar thing is ING I love travel barges. Yeah. Yeah. It was a punk rock club as well. When we were when we were kids about that. Did you go did you go? No, it was one of those places like this Atira con that we would like trade stories about on the playground. And you know, just like I heard a guy was peeing on the stage. Oh, yeah. I heard they had a punk rock off. What's that mean? Like, this literally would've a kid told me what's that mean? It's like when someone you can do the grossest thing like guy took a shit on a stage, and he won. But another guy eight it and he won. That's what a kid literally. At least everybody wind by the. The true winner was the audience honest to that show that certainly happened that definitely had a never if you shut down so fast by the health department. I was just in the great city of Portland, Oregon. We're oh, by the way, my wife and her co host bizzare hosting one bad mother this coming weekend tool, but I was just in the great city of Portland, Oregon. I played a venue called doing bulls eye played a venue called revolution hall. Great joint, very bold name for what is definitely a high school auditorium. Sure. And you know, you were you there doing bullseye? Or were you having a punk rock off? Yeah. Why are we did a little of each? I mean each time and NPR show does a live show, we conclude with punk rock off of winning Rome. Sure. Yeah. You burn it down burn it down and eat Peterson eagles shit. Exactly. It's about also known as burning it down. Right. Yeah. I wouldn't try and get into of such a match with Siegel. No. Yeah. You know? Staples. The he's the master of filth. Yeah. I call him the G G Allen of NPR. I call him Mr. Segel. That's how nasty he is. All right. How nasty is. Yes. You is. I think I'm nasty. So I call him Mr. shirt. Yes, met where does where do people watch where do people watch finally livens space? I'm so glad that Jim gaffe. Again, did what he did. Because I can basically say same thing is gyms because it's just on million platforms other than you know, Netflix comedy central Showtime. It's basically everywhere else I tunes Amazon prime Google play steam, it's on all this on like an it's gonna be on the PS four. You can. Yes. Bloodborne? Sure, who'll the machine readable go the video game network. And I'm like, I guess like I to look up what steam was I watched it on my Virtual Boy. Nice. You look very good in red restaurants. Graphic? I'll cool. Thank you. I will say Matt bronner's one of my favorite people to watch to stand up comedy. So funny. Great. Yeah. Definitely if people have those things they should watch you on them expand. It's just you know, I it's funny. My my last special I talk about an ex almost the whole time in this one. I talk about my fiance, and it's the same woman. I wife Lao? Yeah. So it's I what a fun journey. Yeah. And the ones the the my my greatest hits. So to speak are always kind of these these outlandish stories that are just from my life, and I have one that took soul long to tell. It's literally two tracks on the on the on the album, and it's the story of taking mushrooms in the fourth of July. Why with my now wife and us kind of deciding, oh, this is real you guys are fun and took a real dark turn. So you'd have to listen to it to get it. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. But your wife is Gladys Knight. If gladys. Sure. Yes. Of course. Yes. Do people know Gladys Knight is she's a little known. Yeah. A singer. I mean, I think a lot of people know you from the pets. Yes. No you as a pep as the last pip. Yeah. The one white pip. Yeah. And the one Portland pip the one Portland pip. Yeah. Double PD called me. There had previously been a Portland. Maine pip. Sure. Right. But but that was quite some guy was wash out. Yeah. Ended up leaving. But before we move on. We should issue a correction. Yeah. Okay. And this is via our producer Brian sunny D Fernandez, who's who's a great producer. And it's it's times like this that you're busy piece of good producer. Let's Brian studied Fernandez is a producer. Yeah. We can all agree that produce out of this show. Yeah. If I said anything wrong calling this a show seems. He is a producer of this. Nice. But I mean, this is the this is one of the reasons that I'm so glad we have right around. Because I at the top of the show said that Matt was our only guests who was part of the marvel cinematic universe. And I we forgot daredevil. We've got a time we had dared bit athletic. Yes. Steve AG gave me Florence as groups. He was a. He was a ravaging us. Yeah. One of those guys. He's a he's a space pirate. I always think of Ben Affleck is being part of the view is skew averse. Oh boy. One of my favorite extended university where where are those kooky? Cats gonna go to next. I'd watch a movie about kooky cats, those kind of the view askew verse. So last week on the show, we came up with an interesting conundrum. Yep. And that was and I forget how we arrived at this. Yeah. I mean, I just to fill you in. It's a rule. We don't know. What's happened on our show got it? Yeah. When certain phrases stick out, chur prank bear, for instance. How did that come up who knows? Yeah. There's no literally no way to find out. I I think prank bear specifically came up when bayside tree, right? Yes. Of course. Another famous Jordan, Jesse go nonsense phrase. Okay. But we we were wondering if we have more listeners, and I think we kind of know our listeners now met you've been podcasting awhile. So you're you just based on interacting online and people who come up to you. You've been able to kind of like, you know, a estimate a kind of a character of your typical listener. And you know, and I think I actually we have people from all across the spectrum people all over the world older, people younger people, but. I mean, if you wanna talk walks of life, you're going to have to talk about all of them. Sure. Don't single out. Yeah. Particular walks of life. Sure. That would be wrong unless you're thinking. That's all I'm gonna walk of life by Dr straits. Yeah. For sure. But you know, I think we kind of we kind of know who the mean Jordan Jesse go listener as by mean. I mean average not cruel. Yes. The meme Jordan Jesse go listener is I can't think of a good example of of mean person Ronan the accuser. A real meaning. So. Yeah, I mean because I mean, obviously, like, I don't mean to suggest that our listeners are mean because I mean, you know, from my t shirt that I think mean people suck. Yeah. Exactly. And I do voices in my head tell me too. Yep. So I think we were Jordan Jesse go weird. You gotta keep it weird. So we were wondering if we have more listeners who have a been on jeopardy or be are named Dabney. And let's be clear. So when we say are named Dabney where including people, whose nickname is Dabney. Whose middle name is Dabney right people, whose surname is Dabney guy any name that is a real name got it. If if Dabney was their milk name, and they grew up in a culture where you choose your own name when you come of age sure, and they chose the name other than Dabney's. Yes. That's also fine Dabney was their confirmation name after Catholic. Sure catcher. We welcome Catholic Saint Dabney if we welcome white pips lumber which one that that Saint was if they were afforded time, a nun and the non name was sister, dab, Mr. Dabney, even if that wasn't there. Birthdays, sister Dabney was your roller derby name. Yeah. And also, I mean, I can get. Dabney's that's gonna nice ring. I'm adding this in the your name doesn't technically have to be Dabney if you were in the movie nine to five win damage culture. Well, that's the thing. I am going to lean towards people who've been on jeopardy. I think you have a higher intelligent level of listener, generally speaking. Yeah. God knows how we have. I think they like to listen to something I could feel superior. Sure yet. Don't they of course. But I also be also because I know for a fact that there is only one dabbling dabbing Coleman. Yes. Because he is known to hunt down and kill other Dabney's, that's highlanders situation. Absolute there can be only what that's when Highlander was pitched the executives were like what like like what Dabney Coleman does. I'm like. No, no, no. Our guys turn Scottish unless they caught. Unless they caught her fighter. And it's like, oh, yeah. Of course, because they're Dabney Coleman has shot other Dabney's stabbed other database throw another Dabney's off cliffs is. He what does he do to other character actors who are known for being bald and having a mustache just strong looks. Okay. Don't think a calling yourself money. Hey, my name's Greg Coleman, Greg. Let's keep it that way. All right. It's just me even tobe allow ski with a mustache probably had one of those. It's me wall is Sean with a mustache. Yep. So yeah, I mean, I I'm I'm leaning toward jeopardy as well. I think so because you haven't I think we have I think we have a smart audience think we have a trivia love and audience, and I think we've got an audience. That's maybe a little horny for Alex trebek's. I want any excuse to get close to him. I've been to to as part of two of your two of your events max, fun con on land and one on seeing and the on C was injunction in conjunction with Scientology, obviously. Yes. Yes. Yes. E- org, and they need some laughs. You know, especially the people working in the basement. I don't know if you read Dianetics, but it's not a hoot. He'll if you really informative. I'm either is going clear. No. Also north thing. Our thing just to clarify because I don't want. Ours was like it's like a geek spin off of Scientologists call the C orc now. I sure sure yes. Of course, we are just as works. Yeah. That are sailors. Know, but but jokes aside like the people that I met were not only very kind and very fun. This seemed very smart there wasn't like adult in the bunch other than myself. No, dull, no dolts allowed a lot of dole to, you know, male or female, so Brian I think we have do we have a call that is going to help us get to the bottom of this. Brian, actually, so we've given Brian permission. And this was. I mean, I'm I'm honestly, I'm going to be honest with you, Jordan, please. I might as well be honest with you, Matt finally, and it was going to be honest with the two of you. I better be honest with our ad Omani. It's great. I have some qualms about this decision. Got some concerns about this not that I didn't approve it. I st- I stamped at approved. Just like Jordan did. But we've allowed Brian to arm his microphone today. Normally when you hear Brian which our listeners do far too much, it's because he can't control his bodily functions, and he laughed so loud that it pierces the walls of the recording studio and we've allowed, but Brian there is a microphone out there that Brian has been given permission to use. Now, we normally don't turn this one on. So that's Brian Fernandez sunny D Fernandez, everyone our producer on the program are ever capable to some extent producer Fernandez. We've got a winning at it to middling that Brian. What what have we learned so far? So we were taking calls about this. And we are also asking people to Email us and tweet at us. So what kind of feedback? Did we get? Yeah. We got a lot of calls of people who have been on jeopardy. One four time champ. Well, a couple of college jeopardy or just one college and two sports jeopardy's. Now that surprises me. I did not see sports jeopardy coming. You. Don't think that people who are nerdy sports. It's like LaPierre have a reason to listen to this show think they identify with one of the hosts who are sports trivia encyclopedia. But it's not solar trivia J. Sports jeopardy, your feats of strength and skill. Oh, right yet. You somehow phrase in the form of physically interpreted involve I thought it was sports greats sports doing just questions about Shakespeare or whatever. Right. It's just Dan Marino. What is a winter's tale. I saw that yet. No, Joe Nemeth wouldn't shut the fuck up about Ibsen. Great. I know a rope on the ground, you love real theater this getting to know, you segments show, you're drunk ten seconds long. About Ibsen for twenty minute. It's insanely three minutes of game time after back cut off their Jimmy dated, you know, trebek's sitting there with these these these drunk athletes, very physically strong, even for their age. Steffi Graf was extremely abriel. She broker podium. Yeah. Broken. So. Yeah. Do we have this this call Linda, Brian? Oh, yeah. Okay. So someone called in with a very particular. Challenge. I think to last week's caller this actually came up because last week we had a caller who called in and said he was about to be on jeopardy. Tci teacher jeopardy. Okay. I don't think that quite counts. But we'll we'll note it now. Hey, guys. This is Matthew from Miami on a regular listener of the show. And I'm sitting in my classroom listening to the show right now. And they just heard what is now hopefully last week show where Joe from Paul's the Washington called in and said that he got a call from Culver city saying he was going to be on the jeopardy teachers tournament. I have not been jeopardy contestant yet as you ask for. But I got that very same call last week as well kill and I are both to be on the teachers tournament this year, which means that two of the fifteen people this year, we're going to appear in the tournament are JJ go listeners, which I think is pretty cool on a related note. I took the chance to look it up. And according to the j archive there has never been a contestant on jeopardy named Dabney. There's a little heartbroken to discover that. But yeah, so Joe I will see you in Culver city in April. This is amazing. Thrown down is genuinely miraculous I loved it. That was the Jordan Jesse go listener version of trash talk pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. He's like time. Check out the jeopardy Wicky. We'll see who buys who for ice cream. To buy ice cream. Yeah. Debs I'm going to steal your hot tea when you're not looking and then replace it with a more expensive hot. Let's hold hands and check out interesting historical places on the lot. Alex. What is we're best friends? And then they just gentle kisses. So they're just gentle kisses for the rest of the round guy. That would be a great episode of jeopardy. It would be good. I will say that. I mean, obviously, we've had Louis verte was on jeopardy. Yeah. We've had a guest guest on Jordan Jesse go Lewis for not only was Lewis on jeopardy daily double right and did snaps and became a legendary gift. No matter. I mean, I think you're probably the expert in this. I don't know if this kind of messes with our metrics at all, but his jeopardy part of the marvel cinematic universe. Don't know. Okay. I don't know if they they did. Well, you know, they they had what like the comic book if this seaboard superman fought Muhammad Ali. I don't know if a superhero you went on like professor hack fetzer acts went on jeopardy. Just one everything like you can read our minds, Donna, it's probably not fair probably cerebral before you. I just got a text from firestorm the nuclear man, he says he was on celebrity deputy, but he lost. Mark mcgrath. Mark's got him just a strong mind NFS buzzer finger to. Yeah. And I do wanna planet because obviously we're having a lot of fun with this. This is a great little coincidence. I should hope that because we have to listeners on jeopardy that someone at some point makes JJ go reference on screen. So I mean, like, you know, how Lin Manuel Miranda goes on television twenty times a year and does a little thing. That means my brother, my brother and me. Yeah, we want one of them. We won't wanna those jeopardy. What's the secret signal though? I think it's like when you Pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. Is that too? I mean. I mean, it's hard for some people. I mean, we gotta wait till you're on campus, if they're just like break bear. No, you know, something like that where it's just just get something into the Mike yoga's teachers tournament. What if they say that they can't bear pranks? No, that's that's really easy. That's really easy. You can work that into anything. I'll give you a question like a job interview question. So what? So why did you leave your last shop can't bear pranks at work or he go. He works perfectly makes sense has. And he's like gotta go shows and then leave and then run out of the studio someone pranked you on the job that was going to happen. Yep. It was a bear. Well, our second contest. So get a car. I'm not gonna talk to you anymore. It doesn't wanna get caught in another name of situation. He's not wrong to move along. Yeah. Yeah. But I will point out that something did bother me about this call. Yeah. That we are having a lot of fun with this. I think our caller was saying that he is listening to Jordan Jesse go in class because they run it over the PA system in the school. Yeah. I never proved this as a teaching tool. Okay. Do you have concerns about it as a teaching tool, or is it just about the licensing fee? I mean, the licensing fee is very different. Right. So you know, you mean for educational or not noncommercial educational commercials shows the show is free for entertainment use. But if you're gonna use it to educate, which you should be now, should I mean, there's no cursing, the subject matter is all very this is like VHS tapes. The voyage of the Mimi if you're buying it for a school. You're going to have to pay one hundred bucks a piece. Yeah. So it's an it's one hundred bucks. Speaking of Ben Affleck, by the way, wonder earth, greatest roles probably is single greatest drawl. Yeah. Also, part of the marvel cinematic universe. Okay. So Brian cookie party, Brian. What was the what was the final total in our jeopardy champions versus people? Named Dabney in the Jordan Jesse go audience. Okay. So we had twelve total jeopardy contestants and which to just for context. Matt just so, you know, we have fifty three listeners. So pretty good. Pretty good. That twelve is including the guy who went on local access Portland. Jeopardy. Who wasn't sure if it was officially licensed as jeopardy windows. It's not real real. So it could not I remember it lent. He knows when they do the public access version is it's very subtle the differences jeopardy question Mark at the end. Yeah. So that would be a there's a bunch of vegan strippers. Sure, that's Portland for. Yeah. And then we had. The two future jeopardy champions or players and then one Dabney call if you guys want to hear that. Yeah. Let's hear this Dabney. Yes. Is it the real Dabney Coleman from the movie nine to five also Tootsie? Jordan and Jessie, I am answering your call. My sister's name is Dabney. It is a weird name. You're right. It doesn't sound like a name. I think she was named after basketball players is that who the other Dabney was you were talking about. I wouldn't know it's kind of a rewards nerd Dory. My mom her name was Carol that her middle. Name was Diane. She married my father, Dan. And then for some reason she decided that she needed every single person in our family to be named starting with the D. So she dropped her name when they got married, and she became Diane. I don't know why. And yet now that me, I'm also, Dan and my sisters Darcy, which is also a very strange deeming. Yeah. So my sister's name is Abby my mind. My mom's a little bit crazy. And none of us have ever been on jeopardy. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye. Kind of became a tragedy in the end. Sure did interesting. Yeah. Could turn started as a comedy and became a tragedy. Yeah. Just like the United States of America. Wow. Oof. Well, shuttling shadow to the mic dis who soon big D's. Great family. Yeah. This caller. I mean, good information. He kind of sounded like a fun guy. He did sound like it's cool, man. If you thought about inviting him into your marriage as you and your wife or so five we're not even looking for a third person. No, no, we're fine. We're fine. Just that just the two of us. We haven't kind of gone gone that route yet, I think maybe when we're much much older. Because that's I mean, that's who you want to have a threesome with a very old couple. Oh, well, I guess I was not maybe necessarily suggesting that it'd be sexual. I thought maybe he could just go to Vegas with you guys wings on the bed. Oh, then we have thirds and fourths and oh, sure. Yeah. People can come you guys heard guessing, very openminded. Yeah. To fun. Sure. And hangs, and whereas where it is and is not appropriate to eat wings. Sure. Exactly. Normally, you might do like on a veranda or something right or a table. On the bed. Sure, we're fine. Why not my wing? I eat all my wings tub. Candles turn on the little meet time. Exactly. Just get a bunch of tiny paper plates and put a wing per plate. And just let them all float like lily pads. Yeah. It sounds fucking. Gorgeous sounds nice wherever I'm eating them. I like to be hidden. Oh. Nice. Wear these bones coming from assure blue cheese here. What's under that tarp? They say it's me, you we should explain that you usually you would eat them anywhere. But typically you eat them in rooms that are currently being painted. Yes. Right. I love it available at all. On have a nice fever dream. From the fumes have some wings. Great Saturday night. Sure. Who needs a wife to have fun? You do I. But some of us are a little more creative. It's true. It's true. Anyway. I'm a creative. Did you know that I didn't know that do you know what that means? You create things just means you write ad copy think it means you right that okay? Okay. Cool. I'm an ad ninja. Oh. Sorry. I don't go by those. That's cool. Fuddy-duddy terms. I'm a Moebius owed. Yeah. That's that's a good word to ban. I think we figured it out. We have far more jeopardy contestants than we do Dabney's. And even this guy. I mean, it doesn't sound like his sister down listens to the show that man hide your sister from Dabney Coleman, please. Oh, yeah. He knows even now he's on the hunt. Yeah. He's putting on the face paint like row ramble right now, I hear the sound of his blade sharpening. On a wet stone. So Dabney Coleman actually has a lot of the technology that the predator does. Yes. Just watch all the predator movies and figure out how they dealt with him in those and then apply those techniques to defeating Dabney Coleman, and he uses that technology just randomly. I I worked on a on a show, and he just was he was in the room the whole time used appeared. We're like shit, right? And the directors like fucking Dabney, stop it. Stop it with that shit menacing lamb, maybe work together turns out they'd worked together on an episode of w k R P in the late seventy xactly. Yeah. When he was still developing that technology of going invisible and shooting lasers from his head cooking. Okay. Okay. Man. They're really freaked shit out. A Dolly Parton when they were making ninety five. She would just be like I grew up. I grew up in with with no running water and no indoor bathroom in the in the mountains of Tennessee. I'm I'm the sweetest girl. You you could ever meet and I love to hand out books to children. Downing good predator noise. Fags I'm a fan. I'm just a fan. Oh, sure. I mean, but there is that great scene in ninety five. Dolly Parton covers herself and mud and makes those sharpened. So. Yeah. And then starts a bonfire to blend in with the what was worse nigger doing right there. I think he what was going on there and that pivotal scene in the predator. Was he the predator hunts? You know, he has that thermal scope, so you're looking for heat signatures when he covered himself in mud. He was hiding hiding from the heat signature. Sure. But then the fire attracted the predator. So then he was able to get the drop on it. Oh, I see. Okay. Gotcha. So yeah, got sorry. Spoilers for predator. Yeah. I mean, I kind of. Kind of boat about that. You haven't seen prejudice show kind of started out as a college. If if people haven't seen that movie by now, I mean, I look, I know it's we all know it, it's a romantic classic. And you want to wait to meet the right person to watch it for the get it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, sex after marriage for some people, you know, they ended up as a tragedy to fall in love watching predator. Yes. I'm sorry. I guess I'm American. Yes. We've we've heard it your modern-day satirists. Way. So Dabney mystery solved. Brian. Do we have any we have regular calls? Should we take? What's his name? What's her name that we could put up against jeopardy contestants? Oh, right. So yeah, we were on sin. Brunton to have more broad sense. Yeah. That's there's no one named Bronson. What about Bronson Pinchot? Oh, what about Bronson Arroyo the baseball pitcher? You're welcome sports. Jeopardy contestants. Okay. Stan, correct. I think there are more. There's probably going to be more Bronson's than Dabney's. Yeah. But you think that less than I would say more Dabney's than Bronson's hinder sting? That'd be what I think about Barnaby the Scrivner. I think that there's only one I think that Dabney was probably hit its zenith in popularity around. Like, you know, the twenties or thirties. Right. I bet it's a, you know, depression era name had it like like a like a fancy boy during the great depression. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So yeah, I think it probably just, you know, went out of Vokes. So maybe there's some older people who are named Dabney who maybe don't listen to podcasts. But I do think we probably have some brunson's think we've got a few Bronson's. I think we can I think we can muster fifteen brunson's to beat the jeopardy contestant. And we're including people who is last name is Bronson Charles Bronson's listener. And oh, yeah. That's great. And whose first name is Bronson. Bronson Arroyo from the Red Sox pitcher action Bronson the rapper action Bronson. So anybody sure yet, whether you're Bronson is your given name your rap name, if we're counting action Bronson should we also automatically count ghost face killer. Where's the Brunson connects? Oh, poor minutes goes face killing. Good point. Yeah. It took me a second. Okay. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. I think first and last name. Okay. Let's hear let's hear from the Bronson's. Yeah. You can read Email us JJ go at maximum fund or you can call us at two zero six nine eight four four fund. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Jesse go. Hi, I'm Joe Firestone. The host of Dr game show, which is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners, regardless of quality or content with in-studio guests and callers from all over the world, you could win a customer magnets described now to make sure you get our next episode of a game or medication. How you play that you have to guess if something's poking on name for a medication first time listener if you want to listen to episode highlights and also know how to participate follow Dr game show on Facebook. Instagram Twitter is really fun for the whole family will be every other Wednesday starting March thirteenth, and we're coming to max, fun Norrland six. Yes. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graeme, and where to house DJ's who have been trapped inside our drum machine, we love it here. And we'd love if you stopped by and visited us every week on stop podcasting yourself here on maximum fund dot org. We're just a couple of dufuses from Canada and listen to our show or perish. Stop podcasting yourself on maximum fun dot or. It's Jordan Jesse go. I'm Jesse thorn, America's radio sweet more spoi- detective mat- wrongdoer, formerly Dr Sam Burley Braga, by the way, brand new comedy special. It's called finally live in Portland. You can get it on almost any platform talking about steam talking about Philips three DO, PlayStation for sure PlayStation vita. Yeah. But it would look great on the Vida. It would look good on that. What what were those what were those tiny DVD's that when PSP's MD's? Yeah. You probably get it on you MD writer thing format the director intended. Yeah. Get it on the alter magnetic MC's if you want to go key give it to your ego trip. When something momentous happens to you like, you're posting podcast. And your voice is starting to go two zero six nine eight four four fund is the number to call or you can always Email us, your voice memo JJ, go at maximum, fun dot or here is the first such example within this episode of the program. Jesse impossible guest. Jaren in. Menlo Park h from the mentors occasion of my computer had become infected by a cockroach colony apparently. And there. And you had to figure out how to disassemble and get out of there could fix or get some fix my keyboard without lighting it on fire which ninety five percent of the time. Pretty sure do and just can't get everything out. There is only dead things in my computer, which makes me, but could have been a lot worse. Hit the. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn't know stuff can live inside your computer. Oh, yeah. Can thrive cockroaches. Can kind of permanent that shit. Sure. I think the thing that cockroaches they're adapted. You know, I think the thing the thing you hear is true like after the bombs go off the cockroaches will be here thriving. And I think what happened driving like fucking Kaiser Permanente is permanent who are not sponsoring the show. But who should because we're encouraging people to thrive. Allison Janney Collis Elsa Janney the spokesperson for permanent. How did he know? The roaches were in computer, the open them up, and they like spilled out like, oh, you last story and Creepshow maybe. But yeah, I mean, I think what has happened here is that these cockroaches have learned to thrive Kaiser permanent day off of porn Jammie. I think what's happening. Is that every time? He's looking at porn. Cockroaches. Are feeding off all that energy. Oh, wow. And I think that's yeah. That's probably how they're going to probably how they're going to destroy us. These horny. Cockroaches corny for technology. Yeah. I know don't let them you that PlayStation vita. Yeah. I know what I knew Matt the cockroaches liked to eat corn chips. Oh, but did you know that they like to eat silicon chips? No, I did not. Well. Yep. Boy, it makes just like the United States. All right. We get it. You're America's greatest satirist a gifted satirists observational comic. You wouldn't understand job? Have you thought about doing some of this in front of a green screen? Oh god. Yes. Like, maybe like play a clip of Fox News. And then you say, you're famous catchphrase, Jordan. I'm starting. I'm starting a new show where I sit at a desk and like Kellyanne Conway and either kid or play all those. Kidding plate pundits. Now. Republican pundits. I'm just trying to think of people who'd be on real time. Bill maher. Okay. Yeah. And then I and then I lied into one of my signature, rants, you kind of hear them laughing off stage because they are proud of. Yes. Yes. Well, I mean, I've I've often heard you describe yourself as another Dennis Miller. Yeah. Kind of your thing. Right. Yeah. Another thing. I'm another kind of another standard Miller. But I'm another one another one a second Dennis Miller. Sometimes Dennis Miller's book, it's a type of thing. Yeah. It's I mean a lot of times when you go to see Dennis Miller at the pechanga casino, actually, just Jesse. Yeah. Yep. Yep. And people are fine with it. They love it other times. John love it. And no one notices you'll master satirist. I am great. We're. We love being here at the title casino. I don't want the fifty dollars back for this ticket. Yeah. Hey, it's long as the rancher quality babies -actly not there for the personality or the possessor there for the rants are rant fan. Okay. Cha. Yeah. Because cha-cha. Two things juxtaposed high culture thing and a low culture saying not since the something something which is something right? When he was the color commentator on foot. I do it happened for Chris patta back. He's teed us like Glengarry Glen Ross phrases coffee's for closers. Fuck is he? What is that? Even mean. I've only read the play. I haven't seen the movement. You don't close a touchdown. Yeah. Yeah. Something you do. I was that jug head or the hanging gardens of Babylon. What does that even what is that just a suit? Arrange emir Zukas obviously position. Joe all I saw was a flag on the play. Dennis. What did you see? I haven't been watching. Rush Limbaugh is in the studio for some reason at this point in Monday night football, the rush. I'm going slowly crazier, Dr Loris here. Boy does this God. I guess opens up the possibility this call opens up the possibility that anything we own could be infested with scum, you know, gusting cockroaches. I consider them scum. If you've got cockroaches inside, your low riders custom horn, that'd be. Would it played looker actual? Yeah. They spilled actual roaches came out. Awesome. Yeah. You know, actually think it would be awesome. You'd have to laugh you played it on your phone. You know? Yeah. On YouTube, apple music, or something and just broaches come spilling out of your docking link. You know, I mean, I think I think our caller is probably a little bit bummed. But hey, at least they weren't scorpions. That's true. True. Nasa. That's much word XBox Hungary's four pm get in there. No nast. Yeah. There was a real life dragged inside my Virtual Boy. Well, wow. Get rid of that Virtual Boy Jesse. Hell, no. I'm trying to watch Matt Braga. This damn dragons in the way, nickel play a warrior game starring Morio. He's restaurant is. The process of those kind of graphics red or green lines. Makes sense to me that seems like that what that is. Please don't tell me what it is. If that's not what it is. No clue. What that is. We can all look talking play Star Wars are Cade. Okay. You know? It's like the green lines. It's like wire frame. Oh, yeah. Okay. Your name for it. That's rasta rised Maury looks great like that either way. The way. I all agree. I went to UC Santa Cruz blue fatty and got roster rise in their me. Now. Real boy, we've another call. Yeah. Hi, jordan. Jesse guest. My name is Joe and I'm from Kansas. But me, and my mom are in New York. Can you? I really truly thought he was going to say my name is Joe and I work in button factory. What's the rest of that? Don't remember my children fucking. Oh my God. There was a period where my children like a two week period where my children wouldn't stop saying it you'd think that I would remember what happens to have two arms, and I go like this, and then you do something. And then you do a chop or a punch or something doesn't sound right. Sounds fun. You guys want to do that. Kind of like that Nintendo teenage ninja turtles game. What way this guy is going to sane? You know, the person listening to it's like. The rest of my fucking calls talking really to feel bad for him, the two arms, and they do chops and punches. Yeah. I think we're talking about different things. I was at the flea market earlier now. Okay. Let's play the rest of the call so selling that somebody was selling a teenage mutant ninja turtles yarmulke. Okay. Was homemade shirt by wasn't officially sponsored. Four panels wasn't made out of like a teenage mutant ninja turtles, licensed textile. Sure might make a day made it for it was a it was on a yarmulke that had been decorated with the teenage ninja turtles professionally. Wow. But not on a mass scale. Sure. But there was was four panels in one of them had something written in Hebrew. Maybe the person who wore its name or something like that. The other three were three of the ninja turtles, which one was missing. Leonardo was missing man, call you gotta have Leonardo leader. Yeah. This is just a yarmulke with no leader. Do you think that you get that yarmulke when you kill the Ardo and be an assume his leadership role? Maybe well, it's just like when you write the name of the true God and the Ghanem's hadn't it comes to life. We all know the story once once you complete Leonardo you become the Leonardo, and you are you are animated, anyway, let's get back to the. I'm sure he's calling about that yarmulke. Hi, Jordan, Jesse. Yes. My name is Joe and work. New York and to see to kill them convert and Hamilton, and we were walking down through Times Square, and my mom saw a bunch of counterterrorism. And my office is holding gun. She were from Canada. So that was unusual says she went up to someone to ask if that was and my mom, and I walked right into drug deal and a man with a very acsi mustache told her. Yeah. That happens all the time. And we shouldn't be worried about it. So we clear in from that. Thanks. Love you love you to Joe was the question. Should he have tried to buy drugs? I mean, probably got all your. I mean, you know, I mean, don't you don't wanna keep wanna do that shit up in Canada. But the nights are really earier shit, baby. You're in the good ole US. So you think the nuggets are kinda? Oh, yeah. Kinder Danker in Times Square than they are in Vancouver. Oh, yeah. Women. That's not true. He plays those Regina nuggets. Last time. I was in Vancouver. I was going through a park and people were there was people just selling weed on carts hockey, little tents, and it was kind of a little gathering. Oh, yeah. It's totally illegal. I mean, you can it's legal to sell license, but you catch out in the street selling them like apples. But like these guys work a code him in terrible like apple guess, exactly. Cops for just walking by going. All right. I just kept. You know, better guys. We're really disappointed in you. We're not mad. We're disappointed disappointed in you. We thought you. We thought you knew punish you with our disappointment. I ask you a quick question. Matt do you have a lot of experience buying apples from carts in the park as a time traveler? Whereas a man who's a thousand years old. Yeah. I got to imagine. I mean, a play a character who was alive in the forties. Probably did a little time travel to research the care. Of course. Of course. Yeah. You have to these days back grab some card apples. Yeah. When you were working matchmaking street urchin, right? Yes. And artful dodgers stealing apples. And you were you were Scrivener this grid or guest sworn enemy of Barnaby the Scrivener. Yeah. The rival Scrivener. So sick. Like, I we get caught up in these battles. Yeah. And I feel like we all just need to get back to what really matters which is. I want to say copying books. Scrivener's to just like. Yeah. Mythic their typesetters. How did you out that is what is Scrivener? I mean, how was Hamilton. I think. Mocking. Also, what's Hamilton? I've never heard of that not familiar someone tell me about it. It's about it's like about some kind of kitchen appliance. I think oh, yeah. Toaster musical love those tests show about the Canadian Football League. Is there that they're Hamilton connection? There. To the Hamilton city Canada. I don't know I use my one Candida poll, and that was Regina. Yeah. It's all I got baby Scherf of nice piece of business. Yeah. Regina, fun. I was listening to stop gassing yourself today. I don't remember the name of the guy from the guess who? But he's Canadian. From the band, the guess who? Yeah. Sure. Rush, their Canadian are we naming Canadian things. All day with name Canadian things. We sure could. I don't know if I could I think I got about ten Hake. I'm David Graham and stop podcasting yourself, which is three of them. Yeah. They're friends the Sunday service. Okay. That's all I got done. Let me give you let me give you guys option. Do you want to go all night naming Canadian thing or do you want to take a break? Take a break. Let's take a break. Can I ask you a quick question before we sure yes? Does Roberto Alamar count. He played for the Blue Jays. And he lived in the SkyDome now. But I don't think he was born in Canada. No, I'm sorry. Does not count. Okay. Let's take a break. Take a break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Jesse go. It's toward Jessica Jesse thorn, America's radio sweetheart short Morris boy detective mat- wrong. A comedy truck out of control. Clearly, Matt you're off the rails modifier quickstart. You're gonna die gonna kill us. All. We're just happened. I was watching Matt special on my Nokia n Gaetan. Sure. The place to watch Matt special tie out, Matt. Yes, obviously, people should check out your special. Apparently, it's everywhere. People should listen to your podcast. You have advice from a dip shit with Matt broader. And but also I think what people are tuning in for. And I think people would be more apt to check these things out. Okay. They got what they came for. And I think they tuned into this expecting something. Oh, I think we want you to do the line. Can you do the Matt? I know I know what you'd ask you to dance, you know. But I think we wanna hear the line. That's a Wiki Manson context. Jordan. I are kind of closet. Geeks. Got it. We love everything computer, pop culture or heroes for heroin Rasic, novel Alterra heroin single mother regular heroin for the you'll hear fiasco tackling. Firefighters journ. Yeah. This dogs with rum barrels who help people trapped in the snow. Yeah. Yeah. Geeks for this stuff. We love it. I love those charity calendars where old ladies are naked. But they're standing behind stuff. So I can't see that fruit fun, really fun yadi positive. It is wigs Tories. Sure. Yeah. Labor. But I because we are such geeks. We do spend so much time on the marvel week, Jordan. We're closet getting close. He's never guy. Oh, no. Yeah. Love them. We love them. No, one would guess how much? Or others. Oh, slimline hangers shouldered hanger. If there's any other closet geeks out there. I think they probably want to hear the line to we're all. I don't know. I don't know if you would feel weird doing it. My best. Go on. Dorka go on your move. Steve AG. Man. He never says I am Groot on the show on this show. Times. He's never said, I am Groot guy. Dr even my mom died of cancer got kidnapped by space pirates. This other famous famous line from guardians against his lines. Listeners lines doing lines at the end of the day as a closet geek. My real dream was to year the real life door co Tron to his signature is signature verse. Yeah, I'm doing my best. Aren't we all aren't we all aren't actually about this stuff? He's like you think that it's just for your fellow closet. Geeks. Right. But actually, you can kind of take lessons from it. Whether it's LEGO whether it's flower, ranging sure whether it's hat collecting. Yup. Salamanders trying to kill Dabney Coleman before he kills you. Sure. No matter what your closet geek of when you really drill down to it. There's important life lessons that you can apply to all the parts of your life. Love friendship had collecting defusing a bomb in the forty circle jerks. Sure. Yeah. Are going fast cookie? Man. It's always a joy to see you. Thank you for joining us on the program. You guys guys. I think Portland's very proud of you, my friend. I hope so thanks, man. It's a it's a it's a great place. But yeah, I think I'm glad to. Hugh guy from gang four who still lives there. Oh does. He so many people live there. People just people just moved there. It's like when I when I was a kid that joke was you know, you can't pump your own gas their their New Jersey only two places. Like, yeah. It's California's don't get out of the car, and they're visiting keep going. It's a bit out. Now, I know in various. As the worst Californian. My pick is Dabney Coleman all Californians. I think that guy who started pay pal that he's pretty fast pretty terrible. It's a whole, you know, conservatives are just persecuted left and right. Thank you don't wanna pay taxes, man. Like my. I mean, he's bad. I'd I was the only cetera Sacriston room. Matt bronze that was. I was I Saturn. You just got was. I just sat Arain the truth bomb. My friend. Bam favorite California Ronan the accuser, oh, isn't assholes these days back in lawyer. Carlsbad? Top rates or LEGO every in gated community banging on other people's doors. Their dog shit dog shit on my lawn. Until I get the infinitive stone. These statues have anon- Legos under structure. That's that's the cover of the comic right there on someone's lawn dog shit on my lawn shit, man marvel fucking million of those they should they should do run in the accuser has to live in suburban Carlsbad. Anyway, really flip the script on that guy. I like to see them live in inner city Carlsbad. Okay. Sure. You mean streets streets is that deep in the caverns? Exactly. Yeah. Right. We're all via government housing is. Yes. Two zero six nine eight four four fun. If you wanna give us a call JJ, go at maximum, fun dot org. If you wanna Email us, or send us a voice memo. Our producer is Brian sunny. D fernandez. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse thorn at Jordan underscore Morris. Matt you're at Braga, right? My roommate is my Twitter. U N G E R broader, correct at at rancher at you're gonna wanna hold down shift in the number two. Exactly yet. Just hold down the the letter q and it'll just ten qs, and it's Matt Braga dot com from tour dates if you wanna see me on the road you where you had next. I'm going to this weekend. I'm going to come out Tuesday Tuesday. Okay. So oh so tomorrow two days from now. Great marmalades Sunday Sunday. What the Jesus I'm sorry. Since Vegas drugs. Know, I I'm going to be in Columbus Ohio on Thursday. Then a Chicago Illinois on Friday at shoes Saturday, I'll be at Milwaukee the underground collective and Sunday. I'll be in Royal Oak. Michigan at the comedy castle. Sounds like northern midwest is insured, by the way. Man, remembers tour date, please come out so often we're doing this thing. And we we set the guest up for success. Uh-huh. Where can people see there? I don't know get out the phone honor. No, wait, maybe Bronner fucking knows the date Columbus funny, bone, February twenty eight shish Chicago, Illinois, March I pro Milwaukee second row, look Michigan March there, can I say this Columbus, Chicago, Royal Oak. Milwaukee. Go pay your twenty dollars. Enjoy your two drinks. You're gonna love my friend, Matt wrong, hilarious guy. Thanks guys Gallagher too is opening. Yes. Wow. And you just did us Miller too. Right. You'll be opening for Gallagher to who will then be opening for Matt broader show who you are earthquake too, right? I'm the whiter. You would be the white VIP. Wider quake. A natural enough transition. I think Bronco can handle it. Not versatile part of the marvel universe line this on Facebook search rewarding Jesse go joined the maximum fund group to chat about this week's episode. Invite us on Reddit maximum fund dot it dot com. If your name is Bronson Email us at JJ, go at maximum fun dot org or call us at two zero six nine eight four four fun. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Jessica. Maximum fund dot org, comedy and culture, artists owned listener supported.