Craig Ferguson

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

You. We're with me holes. What's happening? Where does this is Craig Craig am I saying that right, Craig, Greg Ferguson, what a thrill to have Craig Ferguson on? I've always been a huge fan of his and riding the elephant. His new memoir is available for preorder. Now, you can get that on Amazon. We talk a little bit about that. I read the book, it's very very, very good. I really really enjoyed it. I tell them in the interview, I'm like, it feels like his first book because the stories are so fresh and the writing is so funny. So definitely check that out. And while we're plugging books. Oh, my book comedy sex. God is available for preorder. I know I've I've said this. I always think of Josh Ruben doing his please watch the path bit. But because I don't wanna sound like I'm grovelling. But it would mean a lot. If you preordered my book comedy sex God on Amazon where you can go to Harper. Wave dot com slash Pete Holmes. Either one is fine. There will be an audio book. I think you can preorder the audiobook as well, which will be read by me. But the book I've been working on for three years now and believe it or not it has things that I haven't shared in this podcast, some things have but with a little bit more detail, I've really really loved working on it. And I'm very very excited to see what you guys think of it when I think of the audience intended audience, I'm like, it's the people that like podcasts if you like the podcast, it's sort of the book version of the podcast, which is why it's called comedy, Scott. Those are the things we usually talk about. The most on this show. So please check that out his watch the path and please watch crashing the the season finale is going to be the Sunday, and you can stream all starting on. You'll be able to stream all three seasons. So please check that out his watch the path, please. I'm also doing a live show at Largo here in Los Angeles on three twenty eight March twenty eighth two days before my fortieth birthday, please. So come to that go to Largo dash LA dot com for tickets. Those are always amazing. In fact, the last show was so good. I think we're going to release my sat as a vinyl. I it was just so fun. And you guys are such amazing crowd. And it was so electric that. I was like, wow, I kept saying that the audience I was like, it's never this good. When you do a taping or recording album recording. There's always this tension in the room, but Largo records all their shows. Let's just released that audio. Keep an eye out for that. I'll certainly make an announcement when that is ready to order, but if you wanna come to the live show where things are so electric fund March twenty eighth will be the next show. Always amazing guests, and I do nice long set as well. I do want to give a shout to the pizza picks. He's specs boy swearing by. Pete's picks. These products not just ads things that I actually sincerely us every single day in my life that make my life better. So I reached out to these companies to see if they would do promo codes for you guys. The first one is alpha brain by on it NIT alphabrain is a new atropine that helps with memory and focus it's made with earth grown ingredients. It's basically, I always think of it like fish food. But instead of fish feeds like, your, your creativity and your concentration in your recall. I wish I had alphabrain in school would make things easier. But literally for the past four or so years every time I write a script. Or do stand up or do podcast or even just go to dinner, or if I have a quiet Saturday where I'm just sitting on the porch. But I want to have full access to the faculty of my mind without that jittery coffee feeling there's no stimulant to it. It's just new earth grown nutrition that your brain runs on is where by it. I take two or three. Sometimes if I'm really needing to kick to three alphabrain fifteen minutes before I do any of those activities, and it is wonderful. It's a real real real game changer. So I reached out to them. You can get ten percent off your order. If you go to on it, and I t dot com slash weird. They have a series of amazing products, including new mood, which helps build up your serotonin alphabrain, which as I said, I take every day, but just click around it's an amazing company and enjoy that discount. Also could Chaba been getting a lot of feedback. From weirdos that are enjoying Chaba. Could you have is a plant based SuperFood drink mix that you just add to water, and you shake it up two scoops in a shake bottle shoot show. Shook shook it up. It's got powdered coconut milk in it. That is the key. That makes it actually tastes amazing as just the right amount of coconut sweetener in it too. As I always say, they'll never likes the weird super food nutrient dense things always putting in my smoothies, but she loves catava because it's just the right flavor. It's one of the first things that I've had like at that focuses on flavor. Not just the amazing nutrition inside. But it does it gets you high. Basically it gives you a wonderful glow. A happy nutrition overload with more nutrients than most people eat in a month that you can get in just a shake sometimes I'll make baby a bottle, and I'll make myself a bottle of catava. Because it really is so easy. I can do out. I'm holding her and I make one with one hand also travel with it very hard to eat healthy on the road is one hundred percent plant based it's got mega threes from Chia and flax seeds got eight superfoods got seventeen seventeen greens and veggies. Gluten free soy free. There's no artificial sweeteners or preservatives, Scott digestive support built right in thousand milligrams of adapted jen's twenty four grams of protein and nine grams of fiber that's all plant based and it's actually delicious. It's good with just water or you can use on milk milk. Who cares whatever you're into? I throw some strawberries in there make thick you can make like a travel ice cream makes you feel amazing because of the rock Akao the mackerel. It's good for energy keeps you full a meal in a pill you drink one for breakfast. And you you realize you haven't even thought about lunch and keeps you that full for that long. I've gotten a lot of great feedback. Especially from people that can't have things like gluten or trying to eat more plant based they love it. But actually everybody everybody I talked to that. It doesn't need to be some sort of weird diet. It's just delicious way to get some nutrition into your life in a very easy way. Go to catava, WWW dot K A C H A V A dot com slash weird. You get twenty percent off. That's a pizza pick for a reason. What am I threaten you to thick for a reason and the third the original Pete's pick right here on my desk. You can't tell, but that's really my bottle of Charlotte's web. Hemp oil Charlotte's web hemp boil is it's a miracle. Elixir? Basically, it's incredible. It's made from the hem of plant that they use since to remove THC THC is what gets you stoned. What gets you high? It's when you when you eat or smoke weed. That's THC CD is also happening, but CD doesn't give you that. It's not an intoxicant in that way. CD is a wonderful body and brain beneficial compound give it a Gook give it a CD. But here's the thing. Try that's web is an amazing company a moral and beautiful company. They made it for a young girl named Charlotte was having seizures. And is the only thing that helped her get well again. Oh, it's wonderful for a number of elements for me personally. I use it as an anti anxiety. I use it as a mood elevator a stress reducer. It helps me sleep. It helps me wind down at the end of the day from going to a party or if I'm if I'm traveling something that just takes the draft, but not in an intoxicating way. And then in a health increasing wellness increasing way, it's sort of hard to explain I do call it my happy jus, I give you a happy healthy plant based glow. Ships legal all fifty states. It's just because it's made from hemp. It's not illegal. There's nothing like that about it. But the best the best thing to do is try it if you're curious I like, the everyday advanced that's the strongest kind they actually have one stronger. Now, I get the everyday advanced because you can literally just take a couple of drops of it, and you will feel that just that little that little secret spark of happiness kind of going on behind your main program. I get the chocolate flavor tastes like Finland. That's my favorite girl scout Semo is my favorite. But you know, what I'm saying? It's incredible. Go to see w hemp dot com slash weird use promo code keep it crispy some people wrote me on line. And they told me that promo code wasn't working. I got in touch with them. It is working. Make sure you're getting that. Right. CW dot com slash weird. And then use the promo code keep it crispy guy hope to see you at Largo on March. Twenty eighth clues watch the path please watch crossing crashing please preorder my book, they would make so happy. If this book could premier strong, it's called comedy sex. God get it on Amazon or Harper. Wave dot com slash Pete Holmes. It'll be out may fourteenth. And in the meantime, enjoy Craig Ferguson and check out his book, riding the elephant and our lovely chat. Here. What a lovely man one of the one of my favorite, God answers. Don't skip ahead. Wait for it. Get into it. Would you mind we're already recording to come on it? Is that? Okay. Absolutely. Some people notice the sonnet you went through the elliptical. I have a sauna, but it's do Coppard. Yeah. It's in a cupboard cupboard in can you close? Tony. It's a little chilly open the sauna and that is heat. And you wanna point that at? That's mean, Tony, what do you mind pointing that at us. Yeah. Well, you you were on your own. Oh, thanks. Yeah. This is good. It's like being sick isn't being sick the best. Well, if you're not I understand, but you get to eat saltines, you sit in the coach and watch all day, and it's guilt free TV all day. You can watch movies that you would normally want you can cancel plans that you wouldn't normally conselling plans. I don't I don't know a comedian and nary regular. Yeah. That doesn't love canceling glam. Everybody loves counseling. It's not. That's I don't know. There's some people out there. My wife has certain friends, for example, that are and I have certain friends to be honest. Cheerless just fearless. What what what do you like about a canceled plan is that the fear of anything that could go wrong? Cancelled gig, right, like, especially when you're not good in the early days or just forever and your career. I just didn't know if you were one of those cock Scher. No, I love show to this day of his show is cancelled I'm gonna like. The risk. Although happens I've reached age fifty seven fifty six. Thank you very much fifty seven in the book book to be published when you're fifty seven, right? It'll come out just before Fifty-seven the book, you know, because of the we one talking to we. Oh, yeah. That's good. I was like beating Scotland there. Fantastic. I'm remiss can I before I tell you about me reading the book. I do want to say what a what a pleasure does. It have you. It's lovely to be here. I thank you. So thanks for asking me. I'm a huge admire of yours. I love doing your show. You're no. Not trolley around the block that. No. That is true. I watched the crashing. And I enjoyed a very much leasing. I had. No, I did not know. Yeah. Well, it's I have Netflix. HBO? It's all the people call it a Netflix show, they go. I love your at Netflix special because Netflix is just another word for TV. I watch. It's like when I was doing late night. We used to say I was skipping through the channels. You wear. One up here more important than it's like. But hold the microphone closer to my. Oh my God. Onis? This is Tony first day. Do you have coffee and here you wanna coffee? Yes. Do you mind running in we have Espresso is that? Okay. That's the fantastic. I would give you that one. But I sip it. I like your work, but I'm not much of. Let's talk about Tony while he's gone. He'll well. Tony the backup backup is the third. Bench tech. Okay. Our normal, Katie. Yeah. Is unavailable. Okay. An Aerostat our second batch till I know and now we have Tony just mean. Just mean has a name Tony was the name of your card guy. That's right. You really, Greg? I'm also like a one. Memories member everything a couple days. Our everything I read for a couple days and men it'll turn into a mishmash. All right. A wonderful writer. Thank you today is the deadline in my book. So we're in the book finishing club four. Have you written a book about books that come about yourself? It's it's a memoir with a spiritual bent. Oh. Because you are you are you not religious? Are you religious that distinction? I I hate people that say that their spiritual not religious, but I am spiritual. Right. Was doing to have an adult Trinh. No say. Like Christ leaning seeking person Christ leading seeking meaning. The conceptual notion of of of Christ as opposed to the actual Jesus of Nazareth who many people believe our jumping right in. I'm just I've there's a potential for there to be. I was actually just talking to somebody about this where I was like it stands to reason that if Christ was a woke person he woke up to the unity of all things his one with God. Right. That back then there would be like, there's this one guy Jesus. But now because of the internet, we know that there at any time there might be who knows more than one is what I'm saying. Well, a low of historical study of Christianity connected with Buddhism, the ideas came that's one of my favorite. Yes. Keep going well ideas coming of of the east that were coming to the Middle East. And I love it. That's it. Right. One of my favorite. It's not I wouldn't call it a conspiracy theory because it's not really conspiring against. No. It's just the idea. She's went to India where Buddhism would have been happening. Right. And then brought his especially if the gospel of John there's a lot of I in the father are one. And you know, I can't I'm not going to be able to quote, a perfectly. But if you drink of me like I knew or one sort of thing, it's Buddhism. It's like the right? So it was an idea of spirituality that was forming on across the planet the twenty five hundred two thousand years ago, right? That's right. But but the thing is as well, though, that if you look at the store ex very similar type, I think thanks very much. Indeed toning. That's a lovely. Yeah. Aristotle wouldn't of made me air settle at a spit, and you're like, no way. So you've worked with them. But I can imagine a real nightmare. No, no, no, he's wonderful. Now. This is interesting. She your Christ leaning. You. Yes, you arrays Protestant. I was and I was raised prizes. So it's hard to get away. And you tell me your experience hard to get away from those early images talking about like the mystery of the universe and a story. That's a placeholder to kind of tell that story really hard to get away from the ones that you got when your brain was really impressionable. So instead of resisting them which I did for a long time. I now enjoy reclaiming them in reworking with them. I think it's I think it's fine to to read anything you like and believe pretty much believe in if you want as long as you doing inflict cruelty on other human beings. I am a huge believer in. So if you believe something hateful, but you don't act on is that in itself a hateful thing. I would say there, you know, you say again, I'm just going to reference your book a lot you talk about the who is the Victorians that started with people. Yeah. They're starting taking over. Lambs. Right. Yeah. And this isn't the language use. But it's sort of set in motion the echoes of of all this hate. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Even if someone's not acting on them saying going out in a tacking people in being violent. I do think there's a risk even at a just like a vibrant subtle level that like if you are if your dad is a horrible racist. And even if he doesn't preach you you're going to probably feel some of that. And it's probably going to like come through almost on a DNA level may also the responsibility. I mean, the children of racists or not necessarily racist gesture of the children of bad people don't necessarily about people the children of good, people are not necessarily good people and. The you've seen enough. Misbehavior in organized religion to. No, that's no protection for either doctrine doesn't protect people from their behavior. Olea great Wh and fight. Maybe maybe it's worse. If you if you build an escape hatch for people like, well, if you behave badly, if you know, if it's one thing, if you believe this one thing where you say things that way or your touch the magic zone touching on something that when I was a kid because you've had your wild times while this kind of a glamorous way to put it, but you had your reckless periods. Add let's let's call it what it was sad reckless time. But as a kid we used to hear, you know, it's an Shakespeare the idea that if you repent before you die, you're good. That's how old the obviously it goes back to I would argue is not really traditional. It's not in the gospels per se interpreted them so confess, and you're good and you go to heaven. So we were all like why couldn't we have orgies and why couldn't we do cocaine and then at the last second. Yeah. The actually will happen to John Kuban sister, the funder of Calvinism Calvin. No, no, no, no, not at all. But but the federal Calvin have real doctrinal the book of life is written. And there's nothing you can do about it. Really? It's going to be the way it is from when you're born. And sister said fine. I'll I'll do whatever I want because if I'm going to be one of the saved, and I'm one of the save if I'm no he burned at the stake. No, apparently his sister, which was also predetermined as it turns out. I think things are predetermined. Do you think things are predetermines a great question? I'd love to talk to you about it. I if they wear you'd know, I was going to ask you. Well, that's odd mission. That's different. Oh, all right. If I was aware of what had been pretty it's right? Okay. I think I actually don't even like my own opinion about this. Because I think there's something going on where we are just sort of bang certain law of our own chemistry. Our own personality our own impulses, the our input our society. Everything you know, what I'm saying. I I'm trying to do a bit about on stage where I'm like, you think you have free will skip food for three days and drink nine espressos and see if you can be friendly. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you're. At a certain point where in these meat puppets. Our brains are huge part of that and our behavior people that listen to this has no I'm going to reference the sniper in Texas that Chato those people who said something's wrong with my brain. He wrote in a suicide note, there's something wrong when my brain I donate my body to science please explore and they looked in. Sure enough. There was a tumor in the part of his brain responsible for impulse control violent thoughts. Well, just hold go ahead and hold on. I was done. You know, there's something wrong with your brain. I have something wrong with my brain. I think he doctor. Well, this was like nineteen. I think it was the fifties. Well, I I still think it's on you. If you think like, I'll give you an example. I am an alcohol I knew alcoholic, and my belief is alcoholism proved it to my own satisfaction. The alcoholism as I understand is disease which manifest itself in the following way. It's an allergy of the body when people the allergy word interjection, it's a fun way to say it what isn't this substance? Yeah. The anomaly normal people who take this substance. This doesn't happen to them. But why to me I take this substance in the manifest itself as a compulsion to continue to drink even though I don't want to it removes if you like free will. And and so I know having that knowledge about myself, it would cut it off. My is my responsibility to get between me and the triggers the compulsion. I hear that. Right. So if you are the sniper in Texas, surely absolve, the responsibility, and maybe he's not saying that maybe I'm judging too harshly. But you're absorb judgy guy that. But he's going to tweet about that. But I think if you get between yourself and the action, which is destructive or negative that that's you're responsible. We're just having fun where to could smokin dope in the dorm room. I am not an expert. So we're just talking, but isn't even your ability to go I'm going to cut this off at the pass a product of your brain function. You have on an experienced perhaps or maybe you just had. Parents or or people in your lives that gave you that example, sort of thing what I'm saying is like it's just a little haunting to consider that we here's my feeling. We have the illusion of free will whether we actually do I don't know do. But actually kind of enjoy that that sort of like, I don't mind either way. Yeah. I don't think it's like, oh, I'm definitely going to say this and that freaks me out. I'm just sort of like, no, I'm inside this thing, and it operates under a certain lawfulness as does the rain in the rivers and the trees in the lions and the, and that's that's one way. You can understand karma. Is that like my brain is my karma. I'm working through what I've been handed. And I am part of the tapestry the mosaic of everything that even though it seems horrible and understandable at times is ultimately by its own policing perfect. Well, I think that depends on how you feel about the situation at the time. And I'll tell you. What it means that in your saying? You this grave in its own way. Horrible as it may seem at the time. It'd be perfect. I I feel that that absolves too many individuals, and I believe in individuality and individuality of absolves U of responsibility. Yes. So I see that is what I think about karma or gourd or the universe is what I think I think a little like trysofi. So Alex fixity is extremely useful. If used in the correct way make your make your Cup of coffee or toast, just did. Also, it can also kill you. It can be used as torture murder. The 'electricity is completely benign. Has no agenda other than it is power. It is usable. But don't farm completely with you. So the deal that I would exchange awareness with electric wear. Aware awareness, benign, an impersonal, right? Yeah. Go ahead. So that's what it is. So a person's behaviors returns you to the idea of over an individual and individuals exist in that true sense. That look I remember it was said philosophy study of language, and I think it probably is it's interesting that you that you just because if we're thinking in language than we're studying. Also, it becomes if you ever like academe ick. Philosophers become unbearable because they start net picking over the tiniest inflection the tiniest word, and everything becomes can be sure you notice they say, they not those people do go. You know, also particularly with the bible, unless you reading it in the or any the anything you want unless you can actually understand it in the language in which it was written. I think I'm that. It was. Yeah. I mean, the at least the language, then then you don't really have to stand on if you say the kind James bible it says, well, yeah. In the King James bible. There was an agenda biking James and the king a lot of people to get that in dry. So there's no it's not necessarily. I think a true source of information. You have to consider I actually saying this not too, correct? You think it's because you'll enjoy it. If you don't understand the context in which it's being spoken. You also have no chance, you can know Greek where amac or Hebrew. But if you don't understand what's going on. It'd be listening to us talk. And I say Hogwarts, and you might know you look up references. But you might not know what does it feel like when we talk about Harry, Potter's dorky sort of nostalgic. You know, what I mean, you need to know? And you also need to know this system of values like you need to know, what it felt like to be under President Trump, you need to know what it feels like to be to have these certain. Things in the air, and that, and that's what a good scholar of any spiritual or otherwise tax will tell you know, that though, I mean, like if for example, you say, you know, let's take these. I'm pool of Christ. For example, Jesus of Nazareth gives a speech in by the Galilee approximately two thousand years ago. Yeah. How can you in anyway, shape, or form contextualized that if you're in the crowd, I well, I think we'll how would you do it with us? I mean, granted we have more things written down video. But if you even just took that away, you'd probably look to history and the other things that had been is history is now we're really smoking dope in the dorm room. We're talking about what is really knowable. And I love your point. I'm a mystery guy. You're absolutely right. There are certain clues. We can get going. For example, what I'm saying is when Jesus says blessed are the meek when we looked at the way that that society was working at that. Time. We know that they didn't value meekness. It was like a hierarchical sort of like what we have going on today. A lot about like honor and respect in a way that what he was saying that he was actually being a lot more electric than when we read it. And we're just like it's nice to be a sweet, grandma handing out ginger snaps. He was actually saying something pretty. There's a couple of things I, you know, the the idea of my guesses, the whatever profits were working in Jesus or joined the Baptist or anyone else. My guess is. They were very funny. I how could he not how can you not wake up to universal? Gig. No one's going to go and see someone talking about how to behavior I love this point. So my guess is that they were what I'm saying stand up, comedians profits. That I think that they were funny, and they were into -taining and the style. This goes back to the racist. Right, right. You're not Irish I'm just saying this goes back to the racist dad who might not preach racism, but he's emitting frequency when you hear someone speak about peace, and you feel it in them. It's different. That's Jesus magnetism whether or not it was literally true as it's written. I think I felt it from certain people, and it comes from a certain equanimity that they're mad. I think it goes back to awareness or the idea of the electrical power. A neutral force which. Emotionally, neutral force which can be used for good or ill. You mean? That's what Jesus tapping into. I think that's where anyone I think anyone who preaches any doctrines hopping into right? And what you could maybe argues that that is the use of charisma and the desire of humans to have an answer or someone to show them the way, for example. I think is car said that. All societies. No matter who they are have a. Aditi? Also, no matter how this techs and Chinese and the people that are just have no connection at all. But the the idea of a day and has one of the proofs of God was the if for every appetite there is so for you know, for the the desire to procreate there is sex desire to eat food, the desire for war others. Right. Right. So for every appetite there is the proof of God that the fact that humans have an appetite forego at proves there is a God that's interesting because if you didn't have an appetite for it wouldn't exist, but we also want to fly him stuff we do. But. Yeah. But I mean, I want to take off by clenching my button. But that's not how it works. How it works is. I mean, the fact that we fly we fly in the air. Right. So just because it's the way you planned, it doesn't mean, it doesn't exist. Of course, they exist to that logic. Ben God very much though following this. Logic might not be clenching. My butterfly might be an airplane, which means it might not be the God of the Aztecs worshipping, or my Jesus or gore at might or might be the exact same a different point in time. Because Gordon time don't have to be the same thing. So if for example, you say the Istat God or the or the Hebrew goal or the or the Confucius confusion, whatever it is like, whatever go wherever society. That God takes the form the input. You give it for example, you plug the toaster toaster you plug the the sauna and it's a sauna. I love this. Right. So we all can dig a bunch of different wells. But it's all after the same water. And I think that's also is a different. Right. What do you fun? You like a fun guy. Yeah. I like the sauna. You talk is five philosophical. I this is what you talk about. Yeah. No. It is what you talking. But I I like the way you're talking. How did you reconcile? If it's not do personal the higher power aspect of was there. A flavor that you enjoyed I Silber look. There is a tradition within alcohol anonymous who do not speak for in any way, shape or form the asks its members to remain anonymous at level of radio films, especially because if you can make an answer of yourself, right? You make the group. So with that being said, Yep. The so I don't speak for Colic's anonymous. I absolutely have no qualification to do that. My own personal experience was when I got sober sober with a lot of people who are politically communists eightieths. There was no gourd per se. Glaswegian shipyard workers where communists in the nineteen thirties. Ninety four is and so had grown up under that doctrine. And did not were not churchgoing God people, but I found with particularly with easiest actually they are extremely religious. If he is seemed to have very is not like the discount, the idea of the -absolutely reject the idea of, but they don't really it's an odd thing. Tell me what you mean. I think the idea of higher power and higher power is very clearly used in in that language higher. Power doesn't have to be a goad of any form of religion. I suspect that mostly Theus tes rejecting as the idea of an afterlife and for most people, I think get confused with or a law. Not most people people get confused the idea of God and an afterlife or somehow the same question. And I don't believe they are right. I believe they're completely. Questions and different things like speedboats and cheese. Together. Yeah. You could have cheese on a speedboat related. You're a lucky person. It's just the, you know, congratulations. Enjoy your good. I speed across the world. But the but the. I think about it is the idea of a higher power can even be knowledge. So if you have a group of people who have away of horrible addictive cycle, there, accumulative knowledge is of the mind. And when I when I first went there, that's why I used as a higher power. That's their accumulative the accumulated knowledge of a group of people who had been through I'd been through and you have to get out of that was your. That's the choice. I love that. And my choice. No is. I don't have to know what it is. I just have to there's a prayer by sin. Francis of Assisi. I'm not a Catholic. But Saint Francis. He's forever. He was just A Beautiful Mind. And and there is a Francis of Assisi prayer, which I can't remember the whole prayer. But there's the first line of that prayer. I find very useful. Which is Lord make me a channel of peace or Lord make me an instrument of peace wherever the that's enough for me. So whatever that I think plugs in the sauna if you let the one that goes, all right? You're connected. Here's my desire direct, my thinking into the way that I would I would. And you would have it be the God is almost like an internal connection goes. No you but go it is reached internally externally. But in the way that my Saana isn't electrically electricity is flowing through it. And making it us on. Okay. I lost. You lost me there a little bit. But you're saying God is not you. Right. But in the same way electric city is running through my sauna that makes it a liberal odd entity is a sauna, but will power is. And in the same way. I just for fun. I think that's what we're saying. When we say that my. My Craig, but what powers me is diverse so life or. Yeah. Yeah. I Saint Francis. My favorite Francis says what you're looking for. This is a paraphrase. What you're looking for is what you're looking with. That's quite nice. I love that. I went to a see less. You did not. Did you see the bastardisation with the little doll Madala? Yeah. Yeah. So all of that. And the have the great big church have lake has rules and has said no church, by the way, bring the church to the people shoes by mistake. I believe Jesus would feel the same way fun fact. Well, there is there is the sentiment of irony attached to room Koi. Opting christianity. Want to take over Letterman? Jesus was dripping over himself to be like it's not about a building about a Bill. I wasn't trying to be cheeky and bringing that up. People. Don't listen to people. You don't listen. Is the rock and on this rock church. Yeah. Or Pete's invite is the room. Yeah. Around pizza and Craig the same name Golic and Scottish Gaelic. Peter Craig means out Craig means role can pizzas the rook. So it's our both our names. Yeah. So actually what we should call ourselves. Rocky two rocky too. That'll be double-act. Iraqi too key to the Rockies. That's pretty good. Yeah. Do you ever feel that electricity when you're doing because I guess I love asking the English. Right. And it's going to be baked with a compliment. Okay. When you did you monologue. And when you do your stand up, you're there, you're sharing your being and your presence, which is that's why I was like you're an inspiration, especially when I was getting started in watching. Oh, there's another way to do it. Yes. I don't know if you ever saw mytalk show, please don't feel weird. If you haven't those are, my mugs, right? I didn't. But I think probably because when you do probably felt competitive with you. So I wouldn't wa-, you know, way more than likely little show on. Well. Yeah. I think what happens is when you're in the late night world. It's another thing you feel. I'm completely divorced from weird. I don't think about at all. But what fun? But inside it you want somebody starting late night show before everything had to be viral. Greg. We need something viral. You fuck the robot? Yeah. It's very different thing. It's very bad judgment. It's not what I wanna do. I know. But that's what I was saying my comment, and then the leading question I was trying to get you to the complement if we could do the, but I mean, what you see in what we hadn't really seen. Maybe it's unfair to say there might have been more. I saw it when I saw at ARD and that sort of stuff Eddie Eddie does very similar thing. That's not loaded. I'm not saying one from the other. I'm just saying maybe it's more of a European thing. What I'm suggesting, maybe I don't think. So I think that there's there's there's a Merican American style. I mean, jazz is an American out for them. And I think that that. I mean, I actually I don't really care for jazz music form to be honest. But but I think that's what it is. It is what role been. Robbins form very much, right? You're right. It's not a European. Human brain works, though. I see to European guys European. That's this is what I mean when I don't have free will I have to step out of an observe my brain being an idiot sometimes, and then wouldn't it because you're stepping outside of changing, you let's the ability of people to change their minds. Dude. I find that fascinating that that's become an asset somewhere along the line. The idea JD is an asset. The idea of the say he flip flopped on an issue. You mean, change his mind more information? That's one intelligent person would do. Now, I've said it before, but I'm going to say it as as often as I think it because it's important. I love my dad, but every time I go home I compelled or visit him I'm compelled to write on my bathroom mirror. Don't forget, you might be wrong. And it's not because my dad is exceptionally that way because a lot of older men and men in general and people in general just go like, I know, Eddie Izzard, and Craig Ferguson are that way European comedians. Are that way from Yemen? Isn't it doesn't even work that even better the point is that we are wrong being wrong, the celebrating wrong, and I love what you said about wrong. So anyway, you're sharing your your being with the audience. It's something I say before go on stage, but you would vibe with is. It's not the words. It's not the word. No, it's not the word. So my question is this thing, which I I love because Jay, and I have this in congress friendship, and I I I'm very fond of doing I love, and and he he's a different style a comedian to both you die, but he's talking about remembering the act, and he said just keep talking. They don't know the fucking script. Just keep talking. Beautiful advice for young median knows if you missed a fucking joke. What are they following a law? I I really love it. I think if you typed out an hour of stand up and we're like memorized monologue. You throw in your head. You'd be like can't do it when he's absolutely right. It's not the words. You're hearing. You're being you're trying to remember wireless funny in the first place, you're trying to connect also saying this is what using doing you're trying to remember. What's funny? Trying to get yourself there. Yes. Jack Johnson to this podcast. And he was like you can't you can't give the audience chills unless you're feeling them. Right. And I was like I fucking get that and the bad shows that I have or like, I'll just say the words, I think it's interesting when you describe it bad show, what is a bad show. But he I know what it feels like it feels like they didn't see me. That's what you to you make the decision. Whether shows good, I'm sort of that style of guy will get off. And I'll be like that audience. I'll Val has heard me say this a million times. I was great. They were terrible, right? I feel terrible. I I've I've had shows but. They're often the ones I think that are tell me everything. Well, you know, I'll say, especially if your friends and the show, and you and you don't really let you don't connect to whatever you wanted to feel while you were on stage. Yeah. And they'll come back, and they'll be like that was fantastic. I loved that thing. Like, no. That was I've stopped doing this. Now like, I used to tell I just say, thank you very much. It's real show biz. That's don't forget, you might be wrong. Yes. Conan said to me when I was doing my thing. He was like, look you're going to have a show we saying this. So you tell me what you think about it. You'll have a show you think you reinvented the fucking wheel you change the climate. Yeah. Or you have a show where they're gonna they know of rod. They're going to take it away. And the next thing you're just doing another show. Yeah. No one noticed. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. But there's a freedom in that. There's the sad. The freedom. That's the one of the immense pleasures of aging. The you you start to go who fucking cares. I love it doesn't really like what if we like right now, I'm doing this publicity thing for the next dragon movie. Right. So tomorrow, I'll do an entire day of entertainment press. Nobody's going to be talking to me. But the punisher ads Tamar there's going to be a poster behind you. Right. So you know, there's going to be a black car waiting for you. Right. All. All black Aisling in the room with your interview the poster behind you. Whereas you're going to feel that maybe the person you're talking to would like to talk about the show. Do you know what I mean, you're going to no longer feel really sometimes I go like, oh, no. You only have five minutes, and you have to ask me about crashing. But like you get a little glimpse of their humanity. I'm a little more careful than you. Yes. I do -absolutely guard your energy for sure, I don't know them. You know, I don't know. What's happened in recent times? I know under. No, I feel no obligation to tell the truth to the press. I love it. Bob Dylan over here. It's a real thing. It's a power powerful to realize why the hell would you tell these people? No one else is telling them the truth. That's got to be the one tail the mature interesting moment like in a movie or something where the press is asking us. What obligate you allusion allusion that you have to tell somebody something because they asked you camera is not true. But that actually I'm not forcing this goes back your age thing, which I feel too. I'm thirty nine. But it's feeling that as well. Yeah. Is was born on us thirty nine is that right right in saying and saying my head just doing it? Right. I hope try it got. Got to. Yeah. No, it's good. You know, we did your show in vowel. We just found out. Remember that's beautiful. I love I don't do that anymore. Is that right? I quit last may why because you know, what's funny. Wow. Because I had this thought my brain is I want to say, nurses, Tennessee. Maybe I do. I had this. I went I Craig is so perfect for podcasting. The way I I watched them your monologues. Just to kind of get the flavor back end up reading your book. I see the tangents and the Italic tax gets me excited because I love stuff like that. I was like, oh, maybe he'll do my guessing whole realize oh shit. I'm going to do a podcast. And I was like you did his kiss. And it was like everything I said happened in one second thinki-, right? Little one second. I caught myself going maybe I'll turn 'em onto podcasting. But here you are saying you did it. Yeah. I do. I mean, look we're doing right now. It is not the moment is always is. And we're we're doing a podcast. So I'm casting, right? But it's great to be a guest. Yes. He didn't have to worry much. I guess that's why we're my jammies. Its to remind me to be like Gline. Yeah. No. It's much better to be the guest. So you're still doing it. You just didn't like the grind. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't like doing every every day. Yeah. You know? And it wasn't a podcast. Well, it was it was a radio and. I felt bad with as to not be because if she was here, it'd be looking at her constantly. She was lovely. Yeah. She's very nice. You had like you had a set up that could accommodate like a publicist you had like a waiting room, and you could hear the show. It was a real real thing. Yeah. And when did you go that's about two or three months before I go. I mean, I have to say serious you kept going. Oh, yeah. Very. Very nice to me because I said to them look, I really want to do this. And there was about seven or eight months left on my contract. I run about that time for people who don't know that too. But the time you start renegotiating the next the next period. So I said, look I'm not going to re up those that you doing this is a play for money. I, you know, you're nice people, and I like you, but I just want to do this. Yeah. If you could let me know love it. And they said we will if you want as great. And so I did that Puta fall. They were very nice. And then I wanted to go into Rafter said just to show, no hard feelings. We'll sponsored the tour, and they did know there were lovely. That's great. But what was the moment? I'm not looking for something Selena who is the guest. But what was the moment where you were. It was no movement. There was like, you know, when you say what was rock bottom like the pick one. You know, those you have. You have some pretty that's so stupid. Isn't it funny? How we wrote me? I was just saying on the podcast last week or something. I I've never seen an an honest depiction of what alcohol is in TV and movies, and let's not use the word victim. But for lack of a better term a victim of it. Because I'm like you have some brutal. Good rock. It's fucking who's who pointed out. The Jim Jefferies is like I forget it was somebody. I was talking to realize where he's like people down at bad stories. I love Jim. But he was like, and then they tell some story, and it sucks story sucks punching a little person, and there's a mule and we're like, yeah. I understand it's an eventful story. And Jim it's a funny story if you hear that he's not going to go. But I'm just saying I'm not saying, it's not funny or wonderful. And I'm not saying you don't have a right to do that. That's great. But they're not necessarily like great stories in the way that you think of a really great story per se automatically. It's like it's anecdotal if you can frame, I mean, part of the skill of gyms actually, very good at the scale of stand up comedian is to say, I think one way of doing it is to tell terrible awful stories or say terrible awful things. But frame it in a way, which is funny. You're right, which is terrible and awful. And that's including your drinking stories. I think so I mean, also people. The Friday in nature. The everyone has everyone believes in the Freudian single cause theory. What is the one thing that the tame your mom's match, but that's what made you take maniac or? I mean, I believe it's tonnage for me. It was my mom. But I think it's tonnage. I think life is a cumulative experiences is very rare that one experience changes the game. Right. It's what happens every day. Yeah. You get worn down or or you steer steer it in a little bit slower than the I understand you slowly move the wheel projector is different right? Yeah. But it's not necessarily, but the journey is long. So if you're one degree of the start of the journey, you know? You know, ten days, and yeah, you're a lot for their, of course, at that point. I like sharing this as much as they can sort of like the dad, quote thing is that my stop dreaming about a year and a half ago or really would you have a problem with it? I I have a different perspective than the program is that like an alcoholic. I I was a dicta- DAL. Call the language I would use. Well, that's an interesting piece of because I don't believe an alcoholic and someone who's addicted to substance necessarily the same thing. Interesting. I think well giving us apple if you take one hundred people, and you force feed them alcohol for a month. Uh-huh. Ninety five of these people will never drink again. They would hate the experience, and they would never want to alcoholics. It'd be like alcoholics dude, it is just as it for me. Right. But if you take a hundred people you force feed them heroin for a month. You've got one hundred hundred six that's interesting. There's actually I think there's a study that goes against that really. Because we have the data. It's people that are given Oxycontin, whatever. Okay. Con- nora. But the modern opiates giving a strong strong opiates after hip surgery, or whatever. And then these people their prescriptions run out, and they stopped doing essentially heroin. Right. And they were saying the scientists that did this and it's worth the YouTube. So you can get the stats right on people listening, and you is that they were like, well that tells us that there are other factors going on just what they did was like a big drug conspiracy to me. It's drugs. The drugs, they I hope maybe I'm an optimist that they're trying to combat this. So they took a bunch of rats Cajun, they force fed them heroin one hundred one hundred heroin addicts. That's what happened what you said. But then he was like, but what the flag, let's make it. Let's not make a heroin the only actively right? So they put them in a rat paradise with balls and snacks and mazes and free area and growl, or whatever they like. They love. The original RAD heroin leg, and then there would be one area where you could do heroin, and they noticed that the numbers were way way, most of the rats did not do the heroin. That's interesting. I'll have to rethink my rationale on. But so anyway, I read a book called this naked mind, I've turned a lot of people onto it. And I talked to Dak shepherd who's also a sober program person who does not represent a and of course. And he he thought I was full of shit. But I was saying what I liked about the language of the book. And this might be just from an ego level was saying like look alcohol is addictive when I started drinking. I didn't drink a ton. I slowly like you were saying cumulatively added up. And then what happened was I noticed? I was drinking even though I didn't say let's have a drink. It just started happening. I was just doing it. Because I was at home. Yeah. And so I what I was gonna say I like sharing I didn't have a sexy or big or grandiose rock bottom story. I just had a moment literally were pouring a drink. And I was like I didn't ask for this. I realized that something had gotten the better. There is there's as many people. Your alcoholism can be different God. Yeah. It's really the idea that we everyone is the same or should be the same. Yeah. Is is absurd. Yeah. I mean, the the idea like, well, this is the way it is. But it's not that way for me while then you're wrong. Right. Why am I wrong? I'm just way. That's interesting. I can feel a little pull though, there's part of my ego. That goes like you almost wanna be in the club. I want to be like there's a group. I want to join it as a part of me. But there's also something about can I I'll summarize the whole book. And because I'd love to hear what you think about it is they said alcohol was sold to you through media, and through culture, and all these different things as liberty. Meaning like this power, and this is freedom, and what the book does very slowly, I got the audio book. So it's very repetitive over all this all these our. Convinces? You very thoroughly that it's the opposite. Is that you that it takes your liberty. And it doesn't use his language. Would it makes you it's bench. Oh for sure. And I was like, oh, I'm it's bitch. I never woke up as Robin Williams with my car keys in my ass. But I was doing something I didn't wanna do without any consent that definitely. Yeah. I or is as I. Al. Alcoholism or my relationship with alcohol. Let me describe it like this. I once had a girlfriend using years ago when I was drinking who was concerned about my drink in me, still drinking I cared for very much. Indeed. So I stopped drinking for a little while. And then on Sunday one Sunday morning, we were having brunch with her parents. And she said, I really appreciate the fact that you haven't had a drink this time it was in England, and when we have brunch with my parents, if you want to have a glass of Sherry because they have Sherri, brench time, go go ahead, and she didn't understand alcoholism anymore. The night rate that okay? So. Where will eat one chicken? Right. Exactly. So I launched. I was first of all I was fixated on the idea for days that I was going to be able to have a hall it became an obsession. Yeah. And then when I had the glass of Sherry. Brunch. It filled my body as passed over my lips. I feel the warmth of a thousand Suns and the blessings of the Christ forehead. I felt all of my tension remove I felt my soul. Go into Shevazrdnadze. A warm. Wind of a breeze of benign love, flew through my very being an adult even lake Sherry. The idea. That's no alcohol's meant to do if alcohol does that to you shouldn't drink. Yeah. No. That's my that's my that's not Unix. It doesn't make you experience. Any valid Mike experience in your experience are different. That's okay. Am I hearing you correctly because we're talking about alcohol making bitch that those feelings that you Greg Peter are worthy of deserve that should be feeling necessarily at some points in your life shouldn't be coming to you from a product by corporation that doesn't give a fuck about you. I think what it is. It's. I mean that that could be. It sounds a little analytical for my tastes. I was wondering why you got there from alcohol made you it's bench to give me this wonderful feeling did that I didn't care that. It was I didn't care about. It didn't care that. I was so I was going to happy to be a bottom alcohol prison, but what? What what was lucky I think for me or I'm grateful for that somewhere. In madness. I had is described in many areas is a moment of clarity even thought. This is insane. When you had the Sherry at brunch. It wasn't that was it wasn't. But there was a moment of cloudy, which I can't quite Dan defy cinematic Tam for you, like, wait a minute and the music change the door. It's the record. It was it's more about. It's more about I somehow became aware the friends of mine who would stop drinking, and the there'd been successful on it people that used to drink and use cocaine with. And I called one of them and sober. And I said I need some help. And he helped me and well. Again, if I ever kind of I look it's not too difficult to work. I'm just very uncomfortable with the notion that I would speak for an organization I understand the asks its members not to speak for right? I I wouldn't do that. Right. So you got sober when you were twenty nine twenty nine way before the show. I have a question for you that I've been dying to as I ask the same thing to Fred Arabism. Have you ever watched Linnea? You'll yes, yes. I'm big fan of isn't it wonderful. So Fred really shocked me because I told him I was like sometimes I watched that show. And it can hunt me because I'm like, so many sketches hinge on and I said this to him Fred will find something right? Like, the sketches about little cucumber sandwiches, and they're seventy five dollars. And that's what's on the paper. But what you like about it is that at some point Fred realizes that goes, so. You you lick the skin got an they find the editors find it. But like a lot of times it has to do a friend being silly having silliness and his tank you similarly, your in the confines. I'm talking about the talk show, certainly, but in other ways, too, but in the talk show the confines of telling a joke about the movies that are out that week or the celebrities or whatever it might be. It was always like don't worry Craig. We'll find something. Yes. That's my job. How that is your job? Yes. How so let's let's if you'll agree with the concede that there's a tank that's either filled with your soul points, which filled with your silly juice, which is filled with your will to create right? How do you keep that full? And it's not I wasn't wondering if alcohol kept it for. I'm wondering separately. How do you take care of yourself that you want to say in a place that you want to be funny and be present? And it's almost it's almost the physicality like. There will be nights when I'm going to do standup show, and I don't feel like doing it. But when the lights go down in the noise starts in the lights, hit you in all the physical stimulus. Yeah. But what it does is it puts you in that place. Right. And I think that I think action very very believe that action leads not the other way around. I think I think that the if you feel bad, and you do something to make yourself Uber. You feel you won't feel better. And then do something to make feel better. You have to do something to make yourself, even though you don't want every atom in your body is telling you, I don't wanna fuck and do this. But that's your only choice action will change the faith without works as dead. I believe say in your gang. I mean, that's that's what I'm saying. That's right. To do. So invaluable, I family members that I just want to be like you can't wait to feel like taking the big leap or the courageous act. Right. You have to do it. And then you'll get the spoils as weird arranged marriages lack of fear is actively in the face of Tara, right? And sometimes it's very small, courage. We were talking about like, I know that I going on a hike will make me feel better just a small hike. Not even a major one small neighbourhood. Uphill walk Vallon. I do it all the time. And we go Jesus Christ. We feel so much. It's so embarrassing to be in one of these that that works. It's like how pornography makes me getting erection. Nothing is happening to dimensional flat images. Right. Fucking. Dick is so stupid thing. Somebody's about to get pregnant and nothing's happening you idiot. Same way going to hike and all of my problems feel fine. Yeah. Exactly. But what when I used to drink. I used to think I don't have. Jog in my freezer. I've said this million times I had vodka in my free. So you could do that even though a jog would make you feel better. Right. It's so hard to get over that initial hump. But I love that. You're giving us another example, you gotta do it just do it to do. So he started doing stand up in the start feeling like doing standup. I think so and the nights when you were doing your in the meat grinder of late night. Yeah. We'll look I want to lie to you and say I loved every show I didn't. But. I think the show itself, and I've had other late night who say this the shoe itself was was kind of a pleasure woods unpleasant about late night is the corporate hypocrisy is required of you to work for a large American Corporation. So you have to pretend to be a seven person you have to pretend to be a certain way, you have to pretend to like seven things you have to go to the fucking Super Bowl. Unlike you know, I I don't care man shit and go and pretend to to cater for that shit everybody. Yeah. It's funny. That that is I would say, it's a people might not understand. But I think I understand there's a price that it takes on your on your soul on your essence. Yeah, right away. Yeah. You know, going zero if you don't give a fuck about the Super Bowl feels a little dirty. I'm taking a seat for someone who really wants to go to the Super Bowl, right? I've been four American football games in my life, all of them Super Bowls, and I don't follow football anger. See that makes people who are really into football. Yeah. They could gone. And I would I would rather they went to. You know, they would have cried years of joy, exactly you had to if you don't mind breaking down some of those few compromises going things you didn't care about. So the network wanted you to go to the Super Bowl. Yes. Whenever the network has a Super Bowl you have to go to the Super Bowl. Really? Of course, you do your part of their cavalcade of stars. Craig out disdained. I was I was luckily, I was very lucky position. When I was CBS. I wasn't really CBS. The time period was owned by David Lehrman and David is an insane person. And so. Well, in the sense that. That's that's sounds like a value judgment. He he was so so big and so powerful that he didn't have to do anything that made CBS happy beyond a certain amount. And so because he didn't have to do I was kind of his his familiar the monkey on his Oregon, if you if you if you like and I-, Oregon, well, you know, the little her degarding, I was the I was the chimp on his herd Iger with my with my little symbols and my little hat. So I was protected by David is what I'm saying to a degree, right? As time went on the. This is still a large corporation, and look I'm not I'm not ungrateful for it and fight the opposite. I'm very grateful that I'm proud of that. I'm glad I did it. But I'm very glad I don't do anymore is it because of the moral ambiguity of the things of that corporation supports. There's a set. Set of corporate evokes an prepare to put up with you make a movie for a large company. You know, they're going to ask you to go in a press junket where you're going to have to talk about anything that they would find distasteful. That's okay. That's fine. I worked for them. That's okay. It's when but when you work for a company all the time, right? Then everything you say all the time. It's Craig Ferguson. The name of the show is right. It's your names in the show, and you work for them. You don't work for anybody else. They also have contractual exclusivity. If I want to be on your podcast, I have to call and talk to someone that right? Yeah. Right. I don't want to do that. Right. That's interesting. It it's another. It's a liberty issue. We we became comedians because we didn't want anybody to tell us. What to do you were so good at it? You got into a position where someone was telling you. I think it's I don't know if it's good. I think that the idea of being a good comedian such subjective thing when people say he's a good comedian. He's about comedian. Well, the people that are laughing at the bad comedian. They by people. It's crazy. I mean, it's like my dad used to say I actually do this in two years ago. My dad used to say about music, the I liked when I was that snow music. That's just a noise. And I'd be like, what music is a noise that I like, you know. He music. He liked was music and the music. I liked was not music music music for me. And I feel so so the idea the good and go late night show is not true. You were affective. I was I was lucky enough to fall into that position. I exploited that look to my own advantage. But I don't think it makes me any better than. The people who have no Dave Chapelle has never had a late night. Not chapelle. Ed, David tail tail is never done a late night show. Right. Tastic comedian. Right. It's not good about. No. I know. I love Dave to I wonder it's a different skill set. It's like when you want you doing standup, you go like, I bet this guy could do the specific task of being depends on what the late night show. Like, yeah, you're right. Could have a very interesting kind of anti. Yeah. Like in the way, the Tom green nor McDonnell talk show. Did you see norm MacDonald's recent standup special is sensational really saints? I hadn't seen normal to stand up for such. I was on norm show with Artie. Years ago when I was doing the drew Carey show. Norm was on the drew Carey show guest on that. And they asked me to do. I did an episode or two. And and I've always very much liked norm as a performance very unusual performed. But his recent stunt specialties, just fabulous is it on Netflix? Yes. Of course, you still do you're doing Santa bobby's actively now so there's have you refilled your barrel. You back in your place of like, I just wanted to stand up. I just want to me and the audience that pure, I think it's as simple as chicken fish. I mean right now, I I have a taste for that. And if someone comes along as as we care to try this try, but what's going on because you don't need it. It's not like you said with your podcast, and I don't mean like what's going on suspiciously. What what is going on your fifty six you're still doing standup? It's chicken or fish. What is if you like to not perform for you fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, I loved it. That was delight. Yeah. It's fine. Not to perform. That's great. All you got to hear the Bill shit, some nineteen thirties movies with a singing in the rain, which is a lovely film, by the way. I just know I'm perfectly happy do it because walk sale time and comedian sell jokes. Yeah. Yeah. Join it. But I do like have to do. It's potion like it, you spend a lot of time in in Scotland most of the time, and are you I'm assuming you're not twenty like year round. Or no, not at all. What are you doing? Garden is that right? Baggins as a compliment. Never watched the Shire not been like, why aren't we doing? I've been building a sort of little wall. And I've in one pond, and I liked it so much have gone for a bigger more elaborate Poland construction, which I'm working on. I've had to stop for the moment. Come into your podcast. I'll return Scotland and how I feel bad. No, no, those other reasons your president. So you there's that line that a friend of yours in Arizona tells you don't just do something sit there. Yes. You and they're I'm sort of haunted as we've sung the praises of Leno. And I'm not putting them down. But I'm haunted by the type of brain that Leno wrote about having which is the guy that goes to the beach sits there for five minutes, and then he's like been here for four and looks at his watching spent five minutes, I'm like that overactive drunken monkey mind. Have you settled down into yourself in a way that obviously when you write about yourself as young? Man, you're running your afraid, you're you're ill at ease. How have you managed this seem so a quantum us? I love it. I think what happens is the corporal decline of the human body is is. Very helpful and not a flaw in the added. No, it's. Zayn america. The if you're lucky I mean, look old age is not gift giving everyone. But, but if you're lucky enough to be visited by maturity, and and decline you should enjoy it fifty six years old. I'm like in pipe and slippers years yet. I I kind of like the fact that I'm. I want to do that. Right. And once I tell you one thing I did do which is contributed greatly to mental health for me is the it began with I removed myself from social media, beautiful almo-, all social media. I don't know what it is what I'm looking for when I look at my phone, but I've never gotten. I don't I don't I know don't have a Broza ruin my phone. I don't know only do I don't go and social media. I don't go on the internet. How do you do what kind of phone you? I have an iphone. How did you get rid of safari? You. There's a there's a way of doing it preferences and excess ability you can actually remove the safari from your phone, and I don't have it. So I have apps for the Glasgow herald and the Glasgow live which is another app that I have the news for the news. And and so if any big news breaks, I see it, you know. But I I don't I don't follow the news because because if anything big happens that I can do something above your like me. I'm very phone minimal completely though. I. You're you're I don't go on the end after we get off. You're going to show me how to do this. I if I can remember. All right. Well, I'll Google it. Yeah. That's weird. I I went on YouTube to look at the video Schumi remove as far from my F one. But is there I do the the black and white phone too? And I try I of different things I tried to dumb, but I like FaceTime. Because if I'm away from my kids, or my wife, it's great. And can we just take a moment to ask about the sociopath using FaceTime on the sidewalk? Hey, Bill, that's for children and estranged bothers only dads on the road. Grandma wants to see the baby it's not you at LAX being like. A coffee cellphones. I I'm old enough to remember that. That's how we have is exactly what happened. Fucking. They actually I find that. There's a couple of things one it's free. I think that's one of the reasons why free and the other thing is the audio tends to be much better know the audio connection face as much. It's much against technology at all. I just want your technology. I think take advances tastic. Yeah. But very much against the idea that everybody gets the talk to me when they want your right? No. You don't like when you cancelled the show in your book, which I should be telling you, how wonderful it is. It would be traditional. But I'm not even pretending. So I told you I just finished. My today is the last day. So that's moving the rest of the day. Does reading my own book. So I'm reading your book with the critical lens of what it's like writing a book. Yeah. And enjoying it. I think that's a rare accomplish you enjoy the process of writing the book idea. I want to write another one as soon as I can is this your first is this your third third. Then here's another compliment. It reads like your first in the good way. That's nice because you're telling your central back story, you feels fresh. The third book fatigue. Very important third book. Here's what I really wanted to say. You could start with this book. How was your process as like sort of a Robin Eddie Craig brain writing a book? I like I like the process of right? And I think that's why that's why I think it's quite easy to perform because it's the same thing. But we have a lot of the same theories. It's one thing and it comes out in different ways the Plato fund set where there's the star. There's the crescent moon what shape? Do you want to be in? But it's the same the same thing. Yeah. And that's why feel about right and writings ice, the coin is you don't have to go anywhere. And you want to just stop. You can just stop. Yeah. You don't have to say, you know, what everybody I'm going to go on. Watch five episodes of crashing combined. I my friend. Roger hails added joke about being your own boss, and he was like, I'm my own boss, and I have a very lenient masturbation policy. It's a great joke. And I often think that not that I'm constantly jerky off. But like the idea that you can stop whenever you want. And you can also just kind of pick up back whenever you want this arbitrary rule that I don't like working basically after the sun goes down because I I like being able to fall asleep. I want my brain a little time. No slowdown. I love that. Like like, one of the reasons I like having a talk show was I liked doing comedy during the day. Then you sort of have a normal hobbit like evening if that's what you want. I mean, I quite like that. Now, I really liked to do once my wife and kids sleep. I like the gap downstairs and watch documentaries about the second World War. Wow. Your dad. Yeah. Is that when you know your dad, I think, that's it. That's that episodes of British show talk gear unit show top gear. No, it's a car show. But that does great Masera's actually know called the grand tour is going to morph the cast move to Amazon. Okay. And it's fabulous show. I'm all about GB. Oh, GPO was great British bake off. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it since Mary berry and the girls throw you something I've had, but I. That you're not gonna believe me because I loved all the I love the girls. I love Mary, very I liked the new cast. Oh, I liked the new cast. I just don't know if I'm ready to accept them as a state, do you know what I mean? But they're so funny. They do jokes that like how to help you through it. Okay. Like when Colin Quinn took over weekend update jokes about like how no one no one wanted to guy. I love that. Yeah. It's the right thing to I hear that. Well, we we already talked about God a little bit. What were you? Where'd you your beliefs line now because? Yeah. Because you mentioned in the book of that lovely story of literally writing elephant and the book is called riding the element. Yeah. And go to of a metaphor though, you did get the stone or thing. Well, more cannon. All right life is like riding a moment. Well, all that sort of stuff. We're all doing our. But you have this very beautiful Darjeeling limited feeling do. See that movie. Yeah. I mean, I was jealous of that story. This is beautiful. I can see it and you go to a funeral. No spoilers. We still have to read it as beautiful a Hindu funeral, and you mentioned being opened reincarnation now being closed anything. But. I'm wondering when I ask you about God philosophies aside. What do you think happens when we die? What do you think? Do you think this is just the improbable spurring out of math until DNA was formed something behind throughout this or think it's fun to speculate? But I think that you know. Would be I've never found it, particularly helpful too. To kind of nail my colors in particular manifesto. So, you know, I will you go to heaven or, you know, whatever is I mean, I think the sin Augustine again, I'm not a Catholic. Saint Augustine is very interesting things to say trying to understand the mind of God is like trying to pour the ocean into a Cup. And and the the idea of there are great. Great dogs trying to understand the internet, right? Or the had someone say a meeting the I attend in Glasgow saying about God. If God was big enough for me to understand. It won't be big enough to do me any good. Oh, I'm sorry. I've I've also heard any God, you could fully understand in the walls of your mind. Isn't a God worth believe? Right. That's the Augustinian. Have you taken psychedelics? Have you had any? Yes. Anything mystical feeling where you're just like this is very leading forgive me. But I'm just saying I've had those things where you're honest, I Delic and you're just like oh shit. We are dogs trying to understand the internet, and you're sort of in that place the site whenever psychedelics it was back when I was drinking. So I didn't do them in the proper flute and down the river with tangent. It was I did like ten points against and then acid. Leprechaun's flying. And. Message drug. Heidi? Okay. So back to what you we try to put the ocean in a Cup is already worth. I'm glad I asked. But like, so there's a there's an understanding and the feeling of we can't no you can't. I think the idea is to be maybe this is an aspirational to be humble enough to accept the fact that, you know, it's time for you to know. Thank goodness. And the suspect. That you don't get like I suspect I could be wrong by suspect. You don't die. Suddenly get handed all the knowledge of the universe to your dead. So rate that doesn't seem to make any sense at. All right. Here's my most recent thought about it in this moment right now is that I think time bands and the it's not linear. And the only moment exists is this one right now. But this moment exists an all moment exists for eternity forever. Armament all moments exist, all all time exists, very psychedelic. Which is at the same time. Somebody mentioned that about reincarnate. I love it. Somebody mentioned about reincarnation was that it's not that you die. And then you wake up and you're a baby. And now you're in India or now, you're in North Dakota. He was like all of your lives and birth there all happening simultaneously and the way that we're perceiving. It is cutting through the trunk of a tree like the knife is having its own sort of experience. But it's all happening at one. What I think is fascinating about is like the forefront. I'm probably way behind on this. But the big bang theory of the idea that you extrapolate the universe is expanding. Right. So the universe. Well, the universe expanding which is which is fine with the universe is expanding. So the idea while the big bang theory is if it's expanding then logically. It'll contract was. So so the base of is there was a big bang at one point. Yeah. You realize really infantile if you're if you're a physicist like re if you don't really buy it. Silence. A little like turtles all the way down. It is our turtles. And it's there is a certain we don't know that I love in a in a good. Scientists good atheist will have an appreciation. I register the radiation coming off the explosion, which is relatively new idea to me run in the past five years. No, it's not just that. We think there was an explosion. We can actually measure the radiation from the big bang. And I was like okay now, I feel you going, but how do we know that there's always? It's just it's you don't have to know everything. And I don't feel like I have to know. Right. You know, I don't I don't feel like I have to know you feel benevolence. Do you feel it seems like you do in your garden? Patch with your one pond is there like one on the Newport coming? I love this story. There's a woman dying, and she's afraid to die and the doctors talking to her, and she's like, I don't know what's going to happen to me and on the other side of the door. There's a dog the doctor's dog and the doctors have visiting Dr dog is scratching the door eager to get him. And the doctor opens the dog runs in any so happy to see his own. And he's like. Like see I've never been here before I've never been in this hospital before my dog's never been in this room before. But he knew he wanted to come in here because his master was in here. So there was this feeling of the dog had the trust of the benevolence of even though I haven't been in this room. I can't wait to get in there. So similar it was the Saint that told us is the idea that when we die. Do you feel like relax this whole thing bans towards reconciliation towards some sort of benevolence? Or is it a black mirror? You know, I think ultimately conversations like this in this temporal ram and up in circles because there is no answer to what you what we're asking. But the God feeling when I say is Evelyn. Yes. I would say I would have to say it would be benevolent because it just is logical like the thing about PASOK evil wickedness. It's a logical doesn't make any sense. Really? It's infantile. It's adolescent best disease or something. Well disease is implied that there's no culpability is not your fault. If you get disease, but. Wickedness is is is kind of a choice of a of. I think an infantile mind. And I think that ultimately sensible people are kind I think ultimately human beings. Don't want to the. I mean, I think that for evil to triumph completely even once. They would be nothing. Right. So. So it doesn't seem to it seems to be more sensible to assume benevolence than wickedness because but maybe I'm wrong now, I know that's why I was asking on an instinct level, we don't after rationalize that. I'm saying Craig or me on our deathbeds. We're going out both rocky twos are going sad day for show business day for show biz. But it's oppose apocalyptic wasteland. Okay. We fought a good fight. And we've been killing them in the robot came from the future. Oh my God. Yes. That's it. But we fought. Yeah. Yeah. And we died valiantly right in bed, of course. Over lidge. Yeah. He comes down to like. At your core. How do you feel now we've gotten having we've smokes partner dorm room, and we're enjoying it? I want to and on the sillier note. Can you bet you can remember the time? You laugh the hardest in your whole life. There's been a few times could be as a kid. It can be a few times. And I'm not looking for a good story. I just wear are you there? One those one the cars. I laughed a lot during that late night show. Oh my God. I laughed a larger in that show. One night like joy over tomes who used to do the robot. Is I'm such a huge fan of his talent his mind is unbelievably fast, and he's skilled as a performer and he used to make me laugh all the time. I just now realized it wasn't a robot, right? See that's how good he is. But you know, it's funny. Never really consider that good. Good. Good good. But. But one day he job and you have to go away. But we need the robot. So we go Larry King to command when I and be the voice of the Rubio and operate the Rover, and it just was one of the more beautiful events ever. Really Larry is very funny is very funny. But Larry as you know, suspenders on the robo and stuff. I mean, it was just it was so beautiful. Yeah. We this is a little bragging. But it meant a lot to us. We did he did this podcast and web show and stuff baby Lee was born. He sent us a one z with suspenders on. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That is exactly we sent to me when Liam was born is that true. I wouldn't mind it all. No, no with my son. My second son was born Liem James Larry Liam, James, Ferguson. I went out. We know he's not Jewish. I I wonder if you have an answer to this. I had friends that didn't want to stop drinking. And they were like you're telling me if I went to my Buddy's house tonight, and we hung out, and we don't drink that will have as much fun as as if we did. And I I'm of the opinion that you absolutely. Can. I wonder what you're feeling is to that argument. Tell you story true story one of the. One of the greatest comedians, whoever lift gentleman by the name of cook, peer Kucan Dudley. Moore Jean Pierre cook. No, Google's look him up. He was genius. At least right? He was he's a four run to the pythons. He he's one of these genre, create and individuals, and I loved her, and I wrote a little. One of my first jobs, I wrote little thing and I for channel four in Britain. And I I wanted to play my dad and some flashbacks. The ruined Atkinson was his production companies at the last peer to peer because he's a legend. They said. Why I asked and he. He did it and we became friendly. Usually we're working on a thing for the BBC in Portugal, and I hadn't seen him for a long time. And we were. He was still drinking, and I was sober. He was really very heavy. Very very very heavy drinker. I think I actually killed them. We've been one night we had dinner together. It was just I wasn't drinking. He wasn't in Portugal and just the two of this nicely restaurant in the beach, and then some of the crew turned up, and so, you know, they were drinking, then some more and some other actress turned up and things go a little crazy. And we had a good time. They all went off to a discotheque and the local we went dance, and it was fantastic. And then people were smoking weed, and then we all went back to the beach. We're up late Christie guitars fire on the beach and people are having sex you shouldn't have sex pairing off. And the next day. I had to leave and go to Britain. And I was leaving my tail repeal staying on was drinking, of course that night. And I wasn't and he came in my tell I was just leaving. He said can I come in a second said last night? We did it all that stuff. We've been drinking. Be time and. Guitar and all the beach and said that you had a good time. I said, yeah, great time. And he said you didn't drink. I said, no he said, how do you do that? And I said not quite sure it takes time. But he January didn't. Yeah. Genuine this. This is a man with a brain the size of a planet. This is this is. I giant figure when you look at this guy. First of all you recognize them in movies. But then you when you read about and you realize the enormous affect without those no, Robin Williams. There's no money python. There's no Eddie as of the settling on me, the norm influence, and and he didn't know how to have good time there. And they they answer is that it doesn't happen overnight. You can't do it on your first day. Right. You know, there's a takes again used to. Yeah. There's a wildly toddler period. Right. Exactly. But it happens. Fuck you, look an idiot. If drinking was more fun. I'd do it. Yeah. That's that's I it makes me sad. Actually when I hear that question. That's why like the liberty. You've been something has been sold you as a as a lie that you needed this. And then maybe even did make you dependent on it. And when you have on when you're on the beach and the songs. It also just changes your when we're talking about good standup about being present. And I didn't drink at my wedding my second wedding. I was so happy that I didn't. Because I remember every fucking day. It was and I was I I stopped drinking two weeks before. And I'm so glad what a gift, and it was such a pleasure danced. And it was amazing. And it was clear, and I was present good. And when you talk about that. Yeah. Just for me it worked and that was a huge victory. I think the thing is too. That's what it's easy. Yeah. There have been sober for twenty seven years. There has been there have been times in that period. Where I really wanted to drink either. I've felt great or felt terrible. But I really wanted to drink. And I hadn't had one. And that's the one thing. I can say I do not regret. No. I never woke up in the morning. Oh had a drink last night. Yeah. I really wish got shit faced and put my pants that would have been great. If only the great time I had last night would have been so much greater if I couldn't remember it or I wish I felt so bad yesterday. I wish I had compounded by misery by Adin active alcoholism, physical element. Right. So this it's just a it's just a lie. You know what? You know, what kind of customers, I think? I mean, you know, the gullible. I think if if you're truly mantle if you're truly and individual thinker just because other people do it has absolutely no meaning to me. Yeah. No. Meaning to me, I was talking to Bobby leave the other day, and he was saying come the comedy store why. Because other comedians like, I don't care. I resent other communities. I do actually don't I enjoy the company of. I don't want to go there. Yeah. Might change my mind. But I love that. That's just sounds like freedom to me. It is. Yeah. And it takes practice. It took a while to get there. Yeah. And it doesn't exist. All the time exists in this moment with you and me talking, right? Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I'm hungry. Sometimes I'm and traffic sometimes just an asshole, right? The idea as well that you know, when you look at the way, the media and the social media as well as regular media. Is that when someone's an asshole for a moment they've been an asshole, and they always will be an asshole, and you. I don't know. Maybe they said a dumb thing. Does that does? That mean that means I'm an asshole all the time. I've said I've said and done some stupid that has whole thing. That's right. So and then everybody apologizes apologizing fucking business forget, I'm no oppose never apologize. I haven't done it. If you. Are you saying you don't apologize? My wife and children. Opposed anyone else because it's all in the game of being human. Yes. Said with your children. I understand, you know, first of all with my wife in two. I have to because. Live with her, and you know, very much. Indeed. Yeah. And it with my children. I want them to know that I admit I'm wrong. Right. You know? But that's because I have an intimate connection with them. And in Mars to me what they think what some fucking Danish blogger things about a joke. I did five years ago. I don't give a fuck about. Why did why did I ever moment thing? I should. But that that liberty isn't cheaply one. I don't think that takes. I tell you when I came off all social media and all media, actually, I experienced withdrawal restlessness discontent, insomnia. Put on a little way, you know, all of this classic symptoms of withdrawal from something. That's you by the nuts. So I can only assume from that taking the, you know, the the big bang theory approach, which is well, if it goes that way, then it must be that. Right. It must go the other way too. So therefore, I assume is an addiction because it felt like withdrawal when I gave it up. Right. And you know, what it feels like the pouring the drink without giving the command because I'll I'll go pick. And you don't even know what you're looking for. And I don't know what I'm doing right? It's like, I'm smoking a cigarette. Why the hell smoking cigarettes cigarette. That's right, man. Someone else's driving was quitting smoking as I say harder than some of the smoking's a tougher one. Because you smoking. We I drank you, stop drinking. You waking up dumpsters. You still in yourself. You lose twenty pounds of skin clears your is late night. People start wanting to spend some time with right? You still have smoking you gain twenty pounds cranky. UP fans. The physically it's a very different thing. Right. And you've been off that for. Yeah. It's interesting because that's it's all of these things just as you say you've been offer, I feel sometimes the framing of that. And I do this too is them somehow denying myself. So right, and in the opposite is true is like the fight. I don't eat meat people. Listen, nothing makes people angry because I'm a vegan a flexible, I'm kind of in because. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I like I like. Cheeses. If I cheat. It's cheese at something like that. But it's not cheating. The I choose to. Don't choose to eat roadkill choose to eat. We're catching how our brains are so binary, and it's back to I know to European comedians. That are this we draw these stupid conclusions. I I'm with you though, you tell people you're vegan you have to apologize very personal choice. It something you put in your body and your body. Where'd you get your protein? Same co or an elephant gets his proven. Like the whole thing of you get three hundred alcohol drink and say Where'd you get your protein? Why the UK is concerned? Crack. The other one is I couldn't be vegan. I love my food. I love food too. But that's no food soup, nor strolls animal hair. That's not food. I don't eat that food. Yes. Soap value. Exaggeration for the sake of getting to hear a bit that I do. I don't say that. I'm a vegan before I do the bit right? But I I was at a restaurant and a friend of mine order to steak, medium rare. Right. But he was rude. He kind of said like chop chop to the waitress. Oh boy. And and then he was so worried that she was going to spit in this food and the bit is there's already blood in your food. Right. Yeah. It's just good PR. Yeah. It's not bled. It's rare. It's juicy and I was like, but one drop of red cow blood in your special k in the morning during the milk pink. And you're like fuck you. What are you insane? Con isn't that nuts? I used to say that thing about high school. This testimony intestines and stuff like that. And argue never eat a hag as a hot dog even dog. Yeah. Because like for for a hotdog, a Haggas would be a step up. That's right. And you tell the story I hope about a country where they serve dog. I don't wanna ruin this great story. And I remember watching the news where somebody was arguing that we should eat dog. And they were and I felt bad for the guy was like on CNN or something. But he was like look we youth is he had the number. He was like a million dogs a day and that meat could be leather. It could be it could be, but we just draw this sort of arbitrary distinction their personalities, and it was like this guy is fighting a much larger battle. There's no way. And I'm not even I wouldn't go on CNN and argue we should eat dogs. I wouldn't go on CNN. Like, you're sort of once you start picking it that scab, my friend kumail was like, we hate vegans because we know they're right. And I was like I think I think you're right about that. Because when I wasn't a vegan. I hated when we I was awful awful. Of course, it's that thing that Stromer said, isn't it? It's been proven by research. She folks nuns will join the church. I think I'm like that. I'm like that with veganism bad spotting now that you're in. Yeah. But you know, it's also if you want to if you want to eat a state, I'm not going to make fun of your choices. I'm right there with you in hate and judgment in your heart. Is as talks ick is eating some beef eilly worse. It's probably where I completely agree. And if I actually this is going to sound fucking bullshit. I don't care. I'm taking a note from you. If I catch myself judging Valerie, she's not being she's vegetarian, and we both eat fish. Sometimes we're fully she had all sorts of. So it's like if she eats, we go home, and she's chicken or something that our parents cook because she's at home, and she doesn't want to deal with it. If I catch myself, judging her Allah would repeats, I won't meet, but I'll I'll fucking eat a pizza is to say fuck, you you stupid dip shit. I'm talking to me weird. Al yankovic vegan has been vegan for a long time weird. But he will cheat with pizza. Yeah. So I think yeah. I don't call myself a vegan say if a weird alien is that what he does. No, I just would. Daily full of the weirdo philosophy of. Yeah. I don't eat animals but pizzas pizza. Download this podcast for free. And they listen to great things like I'm a weird alien for free free. What fun Greg? You're a treasure right back. I'm Craig as rocky to I'm so happy to be with the Freeman a liberated person for this moment for this. I understand we both get pinched. I do too. But it was nice to spend this time with you. How we do right now. God bless you. God love you. All right. And bless keep it crispy. It's our first Scottish keep it crispy keep it crispy, very good. That's what the dragon people pay you for you. Go. Riding the over. Chris crispy.

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