Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone Ep 47: Lily Tomlin and Sweden- Our Show's BFFs!


Uh-huh. Was he? All. Colby. Do you live rain horsemen studio in north Hollywood, California? It's nobody listens to Poundstone your comedy field. Delight on tonight show, the incomparable Willie Tomlin. She's Tony multiple Emmys, a Grammy received both the Kennedy Center honors and the Screen Actors Guild lifetime. Achievement award easier to Paul on an audition. It's the ultimate example of overkill, hopefully, no one will die. Why is our show? The eighty six highest rated podcasts in Croatia. And why are we trending in Moba? We'll investigate the special spell. We cast eastern Europe and later, it's time for the laugh on the Mike laughter of producers, Bonnie, captain, Gregory burns and Tonita hall has galvanized listeners now it's your chance to identify the source of the chuckling. Alternately eight it's the fall showdown, maranda street value Mars, motels dangle prizes. Our listeners. I'm Adam Felber, the ivory soap of the show. I'm ninety nine and forty four one hundred percent purely focused on cleaning up our act. And now, please welcome. Our in-house bottle of liquid buddy gel. It could spray out anywhere Paula Poundstone. Luek. And it's going to be so hard to say fuck on this show. Really isn't yet. You're ready did it? But it big thank you to tonight's house. Spanned, upper singer, Jamie Chamberlain. Lord. Okay. This is going to be hard to get past Paula. I understand you suffered a terrible losses past week on Sunday. I was using the bathroom. Yes. And my cell phone, my beloved flip the flip phone because you have a smartphone to use it to talk on my flip phone fell into the toilet. While you're using it. Yes. Yeah. It's lipped out of your hands. No, I was not. No, I was not using the phone. Okay. I was on the toilet, although I will say stranger things have happened. You're captain crinkle calls me a lot. Yes. And there's only so much time today. I hear that I've talked her, but no, it slipped out of my pocket into the toilet. I'm not even going to ask, what sort of bathroom technique, you were using that involve pockets over a toilet. But I think I was using it correctly. Really? Yeah. Okay. It. No. I think I can't today's science involves physics toilet end. Is it ruined? Yeah. I tried to save it try desperately to say they put in a bag of rice. I didn't put it in a bag of rice we could do it. And if it doesn't work you still got rise. Yeah. Yeah. You get that side. Dish put in a bag of any side dish, right? Yeah. Rice helps my daughter is a vegan. You know. So I would put it in a bag of keen, wa or pharaoh had like Farrell. Kane wise, chemo's just go. You're not you're not more person. But anyway, so no. Entire neighborhood heard the screams of pain when my cell phone fell in the toilet. I've always loved your phone because it's a stall GIC for me when I hear that little AT and T sine offer it ever it is. It's a flip phone. Yeah. Yet, Donna Reed calls me on it. Now. You want to replace it soon. I wanna replace. And we well, we my assistant Wendell went out to look, and he couldn't find that kind of phone, you know why. Because he doesn't have a time machine shucks, because he would need to go shopping in nineteen Ninety-seven. Get your kid thinking that it has to be the most modern the, you know, has to. Has to slaughter night phone. And I think it's a what is how do they, how do they identify the iphones smartphones, the ones with the numbers, I have a five five or six or seven three. And by the way, I bought my three day before the four came out so must have been nice and inexpensive. No, I don't think it was. I really don't need the latest in grades. I'm actually still rocking an iphone six s which is like three months minute. Yes. Oh my gosh. That's why when I call you all I can years. No, that's because you're always at the dentist when you're. Guy going to you wanna spit. Now you hear that. Yeah. So, so you need another one. It was. Let's see. It was a L G beef be four seventy okay for AT and T. Okay. So what we're gonna do right now. We're going to reach out to our listeners, usually were offering them stuff. Yeah. Actually, we're not asking him for content. Also, it's about time that dynamic changed anyway. So listeners this what you can do for Paula. Do you have any ideas of how you can resuscitate her LG before, seventy AT and T flip phone? And if you do, we're going to urge you to get in touch with us through don't call me. Don't call her. Tried nobody listens to Paula Poundstone at gmaiLcom any ideas whatsoever. Rest assured we have thought of the rice thing, it seems to be a little more involved in. I think if you know, where Pollock and get one or resuscitate her existing one, why she'd really appreciated and it's time to move her straightforward into the twentieth century again. I'm I'm missing that phone. It was the best had the best shape and it could shape that regular flip. Phone wasn't it? You haven't had a good shape. Got another flip phone that I don't like it all square. And it's it sounds tinny. I don't like it. Now that my whole life is phones one way or the other. But I am passionate about that. All right. Well, hopefully listeners can help and maybe that help is going to come from eastern or northern Europe. We're big there for some reason, we have discovered that were very popular in Croatia where we are the eighty sixth highest rank comedy podcasts. I'm not sure I'd call that very popular to begin with. Well, that's that's against all the popular American comedy podcasts. And all the. Sure very popular Croatian comedy podcasts. I don't know. Anything about Cratia, I'm shamefully ignorant about Croatia. I don't pitcher like laughing Croatians. Oh, they laugh do. They, they do. Oh, I don't know much about Croatia, either, except from the history books and the fact that they have a few really good basketball players they, they export basketball players. Oh, I didn't know something. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Six, they Gration where we're and climbing. I assume. Yeah. Eighty six where the rocket and we also have a fan base in Moldova. We found out the other day that is now do we know anything about how are we on? How do we find out our way on a chart? Are we climbing to whole? I think I think we reported just a week or two ago. Tony Anita hold said that we were ranked somewhere somewhere pretty high in the charts and militias. We have such a fabulous producer. Tony cheeses called Moldova and said, hey, do you like Paula Poundstone and they said, not comedy? But that podcast the podcast, the comedy. Filmer is on every show. They didn't say that. He did. They did. Yeah. That's the thing. That's, that's the thing we're pushing me, I think part of the reason that we've got this more international appeal because I used to work at the international house of pancakes. I don't think that's it. And I used to serve the Croatian pancakes, they've really what's the Croatian pancake Paula Poundstone? Well, it's thin. Okay. It's you got serious pancake within series pancake. It's rude. Is it a brooding? Pancake. It's, it's had some strife. I know there were no, Christian pancakes very Swedish pink. But you did you know, we're about to talk about Sweden, because you may recall that a Hungarian professor. Yes. Used our podcast to help teach English as a second language. And we actually interviewed that professor on this year program. Yeah. Well in the same way Swedish middle schoolteacher. Tracy schenken has introduced nobody listens to Paula Poundstone to her class and the middle school students recorded some observations and sent him over to us. You know, it's great to know is that education is gone to hell in every it's comforting. Yeah. For a while. I thought it was just right now that we're being used academically. We're not falling behind in in Sweden Sweden Sweden. Would you think of is a very refined and educated country? I do. And yet, they're using you and me. Yeah. We'll maybe would you like to hear some Swedish middle schoolers talking about our podcast. Here's Tracy schenken asked them about me. I don't Filmer is anybody know who Adam Felber is. Just. With paula. He's there every show. Now this Canard about. Very observant. Yeah. You've now spread this meme internationally, that the that the only thing worth saying about me is that on every show said it was only thing where he's saying the only thing that gets said at said frequently because people, make note of it, because this later because you eat or sleep doings. Doings are very observant. Just meatballs. They are paying attention then world around them be that as it may another one. She students what you and I need to know about Sweden. Okay. What do Paul an atom need to know about Sweden? That's the one we live in a key. It is the only thing we know we do not, we eat meat for every me knowing. And we praise God. Well, I'm going to say two things everyone that particular middle schooler has a future in podcasts are comedy because that was really funny. Yeah. Also, he has to pick up the pace a little bit. This slow talk. He's the conic. But then again Swedes are look on it. I didn't know that sweets, was told that by Sweden. Once it took a week and a half to get the message to me. All right. So is there is another one. There's one more. She wanted to find out if they like our show in general. Oh boy. Well, keep in mind that where eighty sixth ranked in Croatia, right? But the Swedes care, not a fig for Croatia as you'll hear in this in this excerpt Alice. Did you find adamant Paula to be funny? No. She is speaking for hours. That was Eva. Eva. Did you find adamant politics funny? No. I didn't. So what can you give them for all of the Europeans out there using the podcast to learn English? Did you hear that Paula you quickly? And now for our next segment for our friends in Sweden, we should have a section now it's just comedy for Sweden. This really slow like at the moment, our fan base pops up in Sweden. We alienate them just like that. It took us fan base. There was a class of students in like this. This was forced upon them not. It's not like the student came in and said, could we could we miss his what was your name again? Jenkin could we miss the schenken? Please listen to nobody listens to the other way around and they were not happy. And yeah, this was like some sort of corporal punishment, you know, listeners, even if it's compulsory. Yeah. You know what if we became more popular in Sweden, and then they may be took a class trip to Croatia, right? We could be eighty fifth highest ranked in. Yeah. In Croatia, they'd be deaf when you start getting the big every month actually, when it happens. Now it's good to know that, that we've gone global though, we're being used as global educational tool doing podcast. It's fun for us. But there's more to it than that. You know that's right. Out him, as you know, I have lots of fun doing the show, and I had to ask myself a couple of months ago, though, is it enough just to have fun? And the answer was no you also need to improve my vocabulary. So I've been working on a new word each show. I'm still not making any money. But what I'm behind on my rent. I'm able to say to my landlord, although I have no cash, I can tell you that the words stoop means cloth wrung out of hot water and applied to a body part that should make us even Steven. That was our last week. Yes. Stoop UP? Yeah. It's a. Compress this week's word Adam is I know that one. It's a noun. That means familiar, friends, neighbors or relatives here. I'll use it in since each week. I meet with my kiss at Ray horsemen studios to create another episode of nobody listens to pope stone. That's, that's, that's a terrific word. You know, I looked it up in two different dictionaries, and one of them said, familiar, friends, and the other one said acquaintances. Yeah. I don't I'm gonna go with the first dictionary version familiar, friends. Yeah. I think that's the one I don't consider my acquaintances, my kiss for heaven's sakes. Oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't give them my kid cards that I give out to people. Yeah. Exactly. There are people. I just bumped into you don't get to be my kith right away have to tell you, I knew the word kith, but I've never heard it used without the words and Qin added to it in one deaf initiative, kin, kin. And then the next one was just was just kith and his family members. Okay. So. It's friends and family. You're right. But then if kiss is relatives than it's redundant. It's like saying my relatives and my relatives my relatives in my friends and relatives. I've heard it in the thank you very much song in Oliver. No think very MRs come from auto Scrooge Scrooge screws go. Yes, yes. One of my favorite is a is a is a phrase, and that's yeah. That's, that's good to know. Yeah, I'm thinking that some enterprising mobile phone company, maybe your beloved AT and T can start instituting kith and kin plan, instead of a friends and family plan, because it means the same. But sounds better. Yeah. No. They're now they're working on their stupid. You know, that's the power of end doesn't even mean anything our of, and that's the AT and T. Well, it is the only major wireless company with an end in their power. And yeah. And it's not. And it's a an percent isn't it? Isn't that what that's called as an anchor San stand for? And yeah, yeah. Wow exhausted that. All right. L A's and Jomon. What? You're gonna say what's coming up? Yes, I am. Coming up. I kinda actress lily Tomlin coaches Paula on her addition skills, a new segment of outside the actor studio is next when we return on, nobody listens to Paula Poundstone see that watch that scene dig in the dense in Cree. Nobody listens. Abullah pounds done is brought to you in part by away makers of world-class luggage away was founded by two friends from New York who found themselves at JFK airport with dead phones. Delayed flights and a bright idea luggage with power, thus the away carry on was born, I personally love my away bag when my family visited Disneyland last week. Remember, we're talking about that on, do we took the away back with us, which is a great bag and the we were able to pack with. And then I took the little battery the lithium ion battery out of the luggage. And just carried it with me with our phones, and our water bottles at Disneyland and both my wife and I had our phones charged all day. Wow. That's nice. Yeah. I love my way bag. Do you. Yeah. I got the big kind. Yeah. Yeah. So the big kind does not have the charger, because it goes in the belly of the plane, right? When you can't have the can of the battery in the belly of the plane. Okay. So what has this really great as the compression, compression, Russian one half of my big bag, I use to carry the merchandise that I sell on the road, and I use that compression to squish in a large selection of remarkably soft try Polly Blinn t shirts with a self portrait on the left breast and a memorable quote on the back. You're Paula Poundstone shirts, Poundstone shirts. Yes, which are made from Tripolitania, which is what makes them remarkably soft. Okay. They're not a tripod LeBron. But it's interesting because there's no such thing. But it is interesting that you bring that up because these bags are made with polycarbonate. I didn't realize carbonate. What a freakish. It's very good. Coincidental, Mike, gosh. This is what makes us popular in Croatia. Anna lab that if anything breaks away will fix or replace it to you for life, life of the bag of life of you. I'm not quite sure which they mean there's an hundred day trial you live with it. You vibe with the travel with it, you, Instagram. And at any point, you decide it's not for you return it for a full refund. No questions asked. That's great. No, we're not just ask come on. There's gotta be something they wanna know. Like how can we provide you? With more. Excellent customer service today, something like something like that. Maybe they will ask that question but for twenty dollars off a suitcase. Visit away travel dot com slash polity and use the promo code Pala twenty during checkout. That's twenty dollars off in ready kind of amazingly, affordable suitcase by going to away travel dot com slash politics and using the promo code polity at checkout. I just wanted to tell you one more thing, which is I've had really bags in the past. Yes, these wheels are incredibly smooth. They're really great wheels. They've solved a lot of wheel problem. Exactly a lot of times a lot of wheel world problem when I'm girl. When, when I'm when I'm going through Angeles airport, a lot of times, I just make time on the other I'll spot another traveler ahead of me and just zipped past him. Wheels are so much better. Yeah. Yeah. And now are now wave their fist at me. You way bag person. Wow. Have you ever seen that yet I have never seen that happen in an airport, but I believe that you have to some degree. That's away travel dot com slash Paula twenty working nine to five what way to making leave and barely getting by. It's all taking no game. Thank you house band, Jamie Chamberlain for an opera singer. You've got some rains there. And I think you're soprano in that felt that felt a little over. You write a little beltway. It was a little. I loved it. I'm not familiar with that term beltway abilty about term belts. Yes. Oh boy. You broke. Yeah. You really learned that definition. What does it mean theater term? Well, I will say this. So it's when you're singing in what's called the chest voice commonly, and it's typically used in musical theater whereas an opera you're more likely to be singing in your head voice, which is that higher? Register. But she was belting. I have a lot of phlegm. Yeah. Yeah. He makes such a qualified comedian hard time getting past my I'm, I'm constantly in some form of flim negotiation. Yes. Yeah. Coughing to we rang, you have a chronic cut arguing. Yeah, yeah. You do it all. Yeah. You're multi tooled comedian. Yeah. Yeah. That's what people come back for over and over again. I understand you're going to be taking that Flem on the road. Sometime soon. I am taking that for them on the road. That's right. Because I still can't nail my dishes for TV and movie roles I continue to do performances as a comedian. That's not entirely true. I loved to be a comic for instance, ABI in Medford, Massachusetts on June twenty-first at the Chevallier theater, and I'll be in Wilmington North Carolina on June twenty second at the Wilson center. And even if I gotta television or movie job, I would still do those jobs. I know you love, but I bet you'd like to actually book the job. The audition for it would be good. I've never gotten a job from addition. Right. And we've been trying to fix this on the show as you remember. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I'm really coming along. I mean, we had biller when here to coach you and Fred Willard, and we had, we had casting a Catholic record genie genie back rack up and each one of them saw a good deal from it, but it hasn't resulted in any roles, yet, it's not being the Bill. Nobody tells tonight we have someone here who can help, she's a brilliant, actress writer and producer. She's an American treasure. She won the Tony award for best actress in a play. She wasn't Oscar nominee for her role in Nashville. She's won six. Emmy awards and received both the Screen Actors Guild award for lifetime achievement and twenty fourteen a Kennedy Center honor, please welcome lily Tomlin. Galaxy glue. What would we do that? Galaxy and lily Tomlin too. Thank you for coming on his show. It's great pleasure. Great to have your out where you so nervous before you came. When you were driving maranda street, we thinking, like, you know, if they could see me now, I guess it's very fancy. I did occur to me. I think that whatever I drive down maranda distri. So lily as you've heard Paulo wants to up her game from an addition standpoint. Well, okay, yeah. Yeah. Today could be my daily. Have you had? I mean, obviously, you've had many in addition, have you had many difficult ones or. Yeah, I've had a fair, my fair share. Wouldn't you? I dish in for what was your first audition? Do you remember? God. I don't recall that. And maybe something in college. I don't where did you go to college? I sort of went to Wayne State university in Detroit, I didn't realize there was a big academic background. She said, I sort of went. Yeah. What does that mean? I sort of hang out a lot at the union. Philosophy. Did your parents, Photoshop you unto an athlete's body like that lady did together kid in college? No, my mother had very little interest in whether I went to college or not sounds like neither did any audition stories really stand out in your mind. Well, this is this is pretty horrific because it's I think all actors understand this. I read for lovers strangers and Renee, Taylor. And Joe bologna were both there. Oh, wow. And they are the writers, of course and, and Charles Grodin whom I later was in shrinking woman with. Yes, Charles, Charles Grodin was the director and I had was assigned to the part where the girl just sits for like five minutes and listens to her fiance ranting about how the wedding is off. They're not made for each other. They're just not gonna work out and just on and on. And on every excuse thing of in the world, and I. Don't say anything until the very end. I say did you pick up your tux? So that was your audition, because I my dishes, I that's what I said when I picked up. And I want I sat there, supposedly having been roused from sleep. I can imagine how many expressions I tried out on in five minutes you were listening as I was listening Lord. And so and. Deathly. Silence. And Chuck drag cheer up next. I didn't know Chuck at this I'm Neum as an actor and he dragged his cheer up beside me. And he said, Honey, have you ever acted before? So I take it you went a little bit big, then I who I didn't know what to do. Did he say after you would read the line or while you were making the expressions during the five minutes renting even he? No. He was very cruel. Let me go to love that. And you know what it really loved that is that is that turns Grodin, it's so well known for having that completely immobile face when. Yeah. And he's talking tarry delivered to me. Exactly. Maybe he was working on a, you know, some of the baby he was going to put it into the play. Did you get the role? No. I didn't even died I he barely recognize just showed up on the set of shrinking woman didn't remember. No, he thought didn't he said, oh, you must be kidding. Oh, yeah. But I saw in the there's a big. This is the day of phone booths. Yeah. Right. So you went into a phone booth and cried afterwards, you don't see you, as the crying in a phone booth type. Well, you didn't see me as an actress type either. Yeah. Showing. Its grueling. Right. Just sucks is being put on because because I'm married, actress, so I know what she goes through. Just getting ready making it perfect showing up not getting it's just it's just a terrible sign. There are no phone booths anymore, so you right out in the open. Right. So if I were to say to you, have you picked up your tux, does that do you have like a PTSD response to that? No, no. If forgotten it's water under the bridge, where there any other rights, that was an early one in the other bad. There's yeah. Because I would be sitting across the desk from producer type who's going to put me on a talk show. Maybe. And, and I my characters the characters I did at that time, like Ernestine I had not been on laughing. Yes. Oh, so Ernestine would come out of this out of my face and. And Madam Lupe the world's oldest living beauty. I, I wait a minute somewhat surprising to, to your interlocutor their day. They were not. It was more than surprising. The somehow I think in the old days they used to this is quite a few years ago. You understand they would I think they used to have a buzzer, they could press under their desk. To get you a scored it out. And exactly really funny secretary. We come in and say, there's an emergency call on the phone and they come with me. Take me with was there, a part of you that wanted to say in retrospect, someday, you're going to find audition delightful. I didn't have the old comedic cheeky nece in those days. No, it was right to the phone booth for you. Assistant came in and said, there's an emergency phone call lily, please come this way to the phone booth crying. God. Yes, I can't, you know, when we say it was like before before laughing before Ernestine, I. I don't remember life before I do vaguely, remember life before Ernestine, but it just seem right. That there should have been life before. Ernestine is so brilliant. I don't think there was life before. I mean not in earnest scenes life. No, no. It was she. She was. You had done those characters before before laughing. Yeah. Where did you develop them like at the improv maybe when Budrus Danes comedian go on those days, you had to be vouched for fewer a female comedian? You had to be vouched for your man, some reputable man presence. Wrote or did comedy at to say this is lily. She's with me. Almost like there was some sort of systemic inequality between the genders back. I wouldn't guess that sounds like it the way you phrase that that's hard to. Unintentional type. And see you go out and maybe do like tits and ask kind of thing. Yeah. That's the Genesis of Ernestine really's that kind of an ass thing kiss my ass. Earliest incarnation of Ernestine, involve tassels, man. That is nice, but we have to focus, we're going to go to this. And, you know, I'm real overawed incite to have you here that I've been stalling, we did meet we met at polish house, and you beat me at ping pong that, drew, you drew. You're never beat a man that being. Yeah, you had a male partner and he voted for you. Get in fact, even cut through the door because I so believe in sexism that I support it even in my own home as a woman. All right. Let's get to it. And now for a masterclass in how to addition. Let's go to outside the actor studio. God, I hope I get it. I hope I get it. How many people does? God. I hope I get it. Welcome to sign the actors studio. Tonight he kind actress coach Bulla Poundstone on an audition for a role. Lily Paula has brought insides for role. She is up for we'd like you to read the scene with her, and then offer your coaching tips out of that sound it sounds really good. Okay. Well, I'm nervous. Let me just say I'm nervous did use to feel nervous before you addition. Yes, you have any advice about that. I would say you just say to yourself, quietly, if an inner voice, you say, I'm not nervous I owned the world. That's somewhat similar to the advice that Bill Irwin gave internal confidence that I'm bringing something that you need is kind of I'm surprised because I coached him. Yeah, that's interesting because what biller went specifically said was that you should have an inner voice that says la- Tomlin's not nervous. She owns the world, right? That was wasn't sure how that would help me. But good. Yeah. He says he says that himself, okay? So now I'm going to set up the scene. I've got a lengthy enter to the scene right here. I'm going well, let me just let me just point out that one of the problems that I have with addition, often is that when they give the description of the character, a oftentimes, it's nothing like me and be I mean, I guess that's where the acting parts required, but be I'm not sure what to play. I don't know how to play that things that they've put in the character description, just. Begin with that. So that's why I'm gonna read these restrictions exact because as an accomplished actor Lilly will will know what to what to pull out of the character descriptions. And you'll be baseless. I noticed that just looking ahead that I have a role in this one. Yeah. Did you right? Out of character description for the for my role. I did not did just said that it would be here. Okay. Okay. Well, here we go here the sides. Paula is reading for the role of Marta. Lily, if you kindly read the role of Shirley, I will read the waiter and the stage directions. We begin with our character descriptions, Marta is an independent woman. She has strong funny and really into pugs she's quirky. She a single, and certainly, doesn't feel she needs a man. But if love is in the next chapter, she won't close the book, surely on the other hand is a proud woman, Houston nice things she doesn't assimilate well into the general public, she's quirky, too, because the acorn didn't fall far from the tree. Her husband Bruce died two years ago. He was quirky Marta, and her mother, Shirley. Sit across from one another in a booth in Tony's diner. A waiter delivers the food. Is your vegetable plate? Heavy on the mashed potatoes. And he is your filet Mignon shouldn't be thicker than this. I don't know. It's the first time I've served it. Well, could you ask the chef be right back, ma'am? Mom, this is a doner. I told you not to order, filet Mignon was on the menu, your father, and I need to love use to love fillet Mignon, but all along. But all alone. I should've brought my glasses. I hope they're about, so that's great. If d that's a good note to me. Try have my glasses. Sure. Necker, you're winning. There was on. I'm I'm very picky. What am I wanna start? Why don't we? The whole scene over. Do you want to aren't we just rehearsing versing is the casting directors in this room right now? Yes. Yeah. The casting directors in this room right now is at Bondi. Yes. It's funny. Captain crinkle. Let's let's start. Let's start this again. Okay. Okay. A waiter delivers their food. Okay. His vegetable plate heavy on the mashed potatoes and his Phillip MaGee, non shouldn't be sick of this. I don't know. It's the first time I've served it. Could you ask this chef? Be right back, ma'am. Mom, this is a diner. I told you not to order, filet Mignon, where to his Honda men, you your father, and I used to love fillet minion, but all alone at home. I hardly ever get the chance to have it anymore, ma'am. The cook says, we don't have Schiff. I don't think this is one of your hardly ever chances, surely puts her napkin in her lap and Martin notices a bright pink bandage on her mother's finger, what happened your hand, always nothing. It's nothing. I got on it. It's just the location of the cut causes to rub on everything. Did you ever think it get all these little injuries so that you can wear self adherent bandages because it reminds you of dad one? It's just where lock it. No, no, I never thought that I got to cut it an appropriate location or poor one, and I remember your father in everything I do. I don't need to wear the self here and bandages that he invented to remember him with. Love and appreciation. Which is something you might try more of your father wanted more for you practically this eating in diners, come home to live in the house. He built trust. It's what he'd want. It's what I want. I earned that house. And I took care of that, man and everywhere woman could I'm trying to eat. I don't want anything that came from his money, it's tainted. He revolutionized first aid with his self adherence bandage it wraps around and clings to its he was against seatbelts. He used to tell me that safety was bad for the economy. He loves you. He never missed one of your softball games of money. He used to yell slide. When the batter gotta walk awful thing to say, how could you your don't remember what the world was, like, when you could get a cut on your finger in a poor location, and you're only solution was a small band that fell off within seconds of putting it on? He didn't pay his workers a living wage. It was a living wage for a high auto. There's that much doing Ohio, and they were lucky to have those jobs. How hard is it to make a sticky bended? It was having the idea that was the HUD. He did pass something onto me that you could be proud of I work hard for a living, and I don't want any unfair advantages because of his greed. I wanna make America a place where opportunity is evenly distributed. I see they have been done uprooting. I wonder how they're framing bananas full stir is and seen just locally. Just. Lovely humid. Poundstone that'll be all miss Tomlin. Please stay. No, you know what? I realized I gave you the wrong information, which is technically you're the casting director because, you know how they always read the other line with you. Well, if she's a casting director, she's the best acting casting director, I've I've ever encountered. Usually, they read pretty flat. And I have to say that character of Shirley just came across beautifully. It did and readily now that we have to go to your performance. So lily up. How do you think Paula did? And what, what could she do differently? Well, I think she just I think she's probably chose in the best pathway. She's herself. Right. And she expresses herself, and an extremely comedic way and she doesn't even have to write material because she just makes it up as she goes. Right. I've many, many of her concerts. Don't try to wear talking about for this role not stand up comedy. You should give up your hope for the. All right. I would tend to agree with you on this. But. For the sake of is bit. We are supposed to offer advice. Well, she could get her own from her great talent as a comedian. She could eventually acquire her own performance show. Oh, yes. Own sort of variety varieties coming back. I. But really is don't quit your night show. And then you would be able to filling me with hope the what you don't know. You don't need to be filled with hope to be filled with, like a revenge. Okay. Can you? But our lily are there any notes, you can give might approve her. Well, I just glancing back over this. Really? You didn't get very good. So what do you think might not matter? I thought you were wonderful. No, it's on how say. You were you were brutally honest in your first for your sick. All right. So tell me what you think I could do. I bring it up. You should maybe polish should have been the characters name. There is nothing to do with it. No. The characters name is Marta. I so tech see get the sides, right. As an actress, I don't think actress, same. Surely would name her child Marsha. Yeah. Is that what you do? When you go in thinking, you're writing more. The Iraqi go on an addition, tell them to change the script. We'll give lily doesn't seem to want to talk about your acting. No. I I'm supposed to go into an audition ago. Look, I don't think. I'm reading for Marta. And my mother's surely doesn't make any sense to me. Why would surely neighbor kid Marta that I think that would be one approach? Now, have you ever addition gun in and sort of bedeviled them about the script itself? But I've had a job. So you. So you. But, you know, I'm saying when you were additioning not when you are already given not when you already have the job. Well, if you're additioning, you might not have enough time to. You know rail against the script right would would that be the right dynamic to go to a casting director and say, you know, I don't think the names are right on the script with. L. P. Loving this exchange reminds me of like some kind of war movie where you're the young private is just had his legs blown off. Right. And really the sergeant and you're going like sorry, how does it look ever run again that she's just doing anything? You can break the news to you that you don't have a chance. All right. When you give me one fucking note. You tell me, one thing I could do to improve my reading. Okay. And will. Yeah. This is why you don't casting, this is exactly why you don't do casting. Do you do casting? You may be right. I'm not sure. You think we should try to see again? Maybe I don't know. Should we, we do part of it me? I carry you could talk like my character, and I'll talk like yours. You wanna try that you'll see how great it'll be I don't know if it will be. No. Because they can't out do what you did. And I'm reading teve you ever done that, if you've ever gone in on one role and then and then jettisoned to another? See, here's the secret to acting is you just have to go with the moment you go with the moment, right? Yeah. That's you've really built in created a row layered at many times race subtlety. Yeah. And motivation rate motivation, then, otherwise, you just pull out of like, kind of silly voice, and you let that take your wherever it takes her and pretty soon, it'll make some strange emphasis that will draw a laugh from the audience. I feel like that was not surely. Yeah. You did. You really did manage to. I'm revealing the secrecy. That was us. All right. Do you want to try to use that secret? Maybe he's a funny work in the Marta. Ro-weaken try it harder. Not martyr Marta. The role in his podcast is is mine. Exclusive. That's clear. By the way, I have to ask what you think of the waiter. Did you feel like you got to know him a little bit? You see how he's just used a funny voice. Yes. All right. That's right. All right. Fuck you. Let's take it from. Take it from this diner, ready. All right. After the waiters exit and the audience, this is after my notes from the inimitable, lily Tomlin. This is I told you not to order, the filet Mignon. Well as resign, the menu your father, and I love fillet Mignon, but all alone at home. I hardly ever get the chance to have it anymore. Ma'am. The cook says, we don't have a shift. I don't think this is one of your hardly ever chances, surely puts her napkin in her lap and Martin notices a bright pink bandage on her mother's finger what happened. It's nothing. I got into cut out. It's just that the location of the cut causes it to rub on everything. Mom, did you ever think that you get all these little injuries? She, you can wear self adhered bandages, because it reminds you of dad. Why not? No. I never saw putting my finger in a locket. All right. We're gonna stop right there. I tried your solution. Yeah. See, here's what I noticed. This is an outside observer. I'm not casting director here. Lily decides whether you get the part. But what I noticed is that you put on a voice that was high pitched but somewhat indistinct character, y whereas in lily's read she strengthened and deepened the choice that she'd made on her. I read and it was even stronger while doing texts that was actually very expository. It was it was a remarkable performance. Thank you. Thank you. She really gave me a bump steer. I thought that was an improvement. I'm not sure I did. All right. So is Paulo going to get the role this role in this audition. I'm not really the last arbiter of who makes it, there's a producer involved as well. There's a producer producer. Okay. What if? Okay. What if we're away into global warming is a writer's medium, though, what's a writer's medium if it's just for television. Yeah. I hope. So I think you'd probably have the choice you wrote it, didn't you? She actually wrote that part for herself and get came out like that. Yeah. And yet it came out like that there's not the kind of comments. I'm sure you how to do it. Okay. Okay. Like you pretend that. One of your you Marta has had a has a child that she adopted. Okay. And. A very big strapping, handsome, young man. Okay. And he has called his like type of logical damage. Now, re debt like you want that. Boy, in your home, you want him back happy, but he won't give up his gizmos. It's a little like. This is the field close. Yeah. Feeling a little this is like, the, the descriptions that they give you that, you know, you don't know how to play it or I don't know how to play lily was just advising to do so bring some of yourself into that role with whatever they right in the character descriptions, bring yourself. Yeah. That's brief some motor something that you can lean on, like. I if I had to do it, I don't know how I would do it myself I if to think about it, and you have to kind of gave you the quirkier roll, your did was your choice. We could've, you know, I need to scratch roles knows perfect. Now, I'm Marta. I don't there's, there's nothing that's going to stop me from being Marta. I guess, but we might be moving in a different direction with that role. Actually, Paula are you able to just make this program as long as you one? We really wonder if podcast. But you're right. We have we have waxed over long. So thank you. Lily tomlin. Thank your sharing here on this episode of outside the actors studio. Thank you. Coming up next. Lily Tomlin start on laughing. We have our laugh off. See what I did there, which left that you hear in the background of nobody listens to Paula Poundstone makes you furious. And which one do you find endearing help us solve the mystery and also explore the geography of coughing? That's coming up right after this. Oh, god. I need this job. Please god. I need this job. I've got to get this. The cat of the week is Hildegard from Portland, Oregon. Yeah. Now, we are covered in class. Nobody listens. Paula Poundstone is sponsored in part by hellofresh. I love these guys. Hellofresh makes conquering, the kitchen a reality with deliciously simple, recipes fresh, premeasured ingredients and easy to follow six step pictured recipe cards, which are delivered to your door each week all meals come together within thirty minutes maximum, and there are flexible plans to choose from classic veggie and family. We get the veggie when we get the family, and it is easy to follow it varies follow it would have to be for me to do it. Right. I'm not much into joke. I, I don't have the attention span for cooking. But this is so far, I haven't managed to screw anything up one of the things I really like about hellofresh. Is that the you don't cook it all, I cook all the time. And yet, we both feel quite fulfilled by what we're getting from hellofresh. I'm not cooking. I mean learning. Yes. And it's and it's delicious me and my daughter alley. I forget, which one we made most recently, I forget what it was have veggies in it. Yeah. And they send you everything. And then I think I've added my own butter but I use the fake butter and because on any given week if you're not getting hellofresh, the extent of the cooking, you do is putting fake butter on toasted raisin bread, right? I make a lot of raisin toast do, but fake broader I put fake butter on it. And then when I'm really living high. I have a toasted with fake butter, peanut butter and jelly on raisin toast. You see, now this is why I think hellofresh is great for you because in some ways it might getting you alive. They have. No. They have the they have the, they have the pitcher recipe that shows how to make the peanut butter and jelly on the Asian chilly after as and toast. Be funny. I didn't get that. Yeah. It's the vegetarian. No, it really is. It really is delicious. And again, because I'm not really all that Fassel in the kitchen. It doesn't take very long at all. Really? And I appreciate that because I don't wanna spend a long time in the kitchen. Right. I have a picture of lily Tomlin from like a program, and it's just taped on my cabinet door in my kitchen. And it says there are billion one reasons to honor lily Tomlin. Really? Yeah. It's just taped up, you know what? Now there's a billion into because I thought you sensational. Yeah. She's. You know, my guess is she's going to come back to me time. And again and asked me to write more surely for her. Yeah. And you know what I'd want to hear more from that? Character though, I do have to say, I'm wondering how much hellofresh loves how we've segue into talk villi Tomlin during this advertisement. Well, I just wanna say this I can't say that really does or doesn't eat hellofresh. But she looks good. She does. Yeah. So it's very possible I'd pasta. Hello fresh radio. Yeah. So for a total of eighty dollars off in your first month that's twenty dollars off your first four boxes. Visit hellofresh dot com slash Poundstone eighty and enter promo code Poundstone eighty. It's that simple and you'll love it. That is simple. That's hellofresh dot com, Poundstone eighty promo code Poundstone eighty for total of eighty dollars off your first month and it really happens. I noticed for fact because a friend of mine in my neighborhood, whose daughters, go to schools. My son went ahead entered that code and got eighty dollars offer. I four boxes and she. I loved it. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. And what are you gonna do with that extra eighty bucks? Goes right? Into the college fund goes right into the college fund. That's terrific. Thank you, Jamie Chamberlain. Adam, there is a division among our audience. It's about the left or in the background of our show from our tiny. But powerful studio audience to be clear we don't have a studio audience sitting here in the Ray horse studios each week are just our guests head of security, Jona, knuckles Glickman and producers, Bonnie captain crinkle burns and Tony nickname to be filled in later Nita whole it is the laughter of bunny, Tony. That is the issue listeners love it or hate it. And here's the thing Paula Tony, and Bonnie don't agree on whose laugh is loved and, or hated and we don't know because our listeners submit reviews in tex-. We don't know if the laugh that certain audience members hate is the same laugh is the one. That's an audience members love. But even now as you and I are talking. Yes. Distractedly enough across the table, Bonnie and Tony are signaling each other as to who's laugh, they think is the one. Yeah, they're both passionate about their own laugh. They both they both are so excited about. Apps being the laugh that people love and let me, let me, let me talk about some of our listeners who've weighed in on this posted reviews on a maximum fun, side, and on. Apple itunes, one, reviewer newbie do said overall, I enjoy the show. However, there's some woman in the studio who laughs very loudly and unnaturally who is this? Why do we need to hear someone in the room laughing as if queuing us to laugh too? It's just weird. Sometimes I dread her laughter so much. I turn off the pod. Wow. That is laughter. Dread. Yeah. Boy, you've got you've got one selling identified as grumpy is wife wrote, love, everything except the waf- track. Her laughter is annoying. Let me just back up and got over there is no fucking canned. Let there is no laugh track. Yeah. As you people in the room. Yeah. That we work with and they laugh as though if we were going to purchase a laugh track we'd purchased. One where one woman is laughing. Yeah. I mean, we're cutting corners here at Novi lives of all, but that sounds what kept seventies television going. Yeah. That one lady left. Yeah. Remember when mash? Mash was sort of revolutionary for not having a laugh track. Because for years, what comedy shows did they put in fake laughter, just they got left or from somewhere, and they put it in and then mash did episodes with no no laugh track. And then slowly they worked their way back into a half track by having just that one woman. Yeah. Yeah. That one woman laughing one woman out to get her on our show. Mazing doesn't come TV those years laugh. We've got some emails to Allie wrote, I love your podcast with Adam, but please mute. The woman in the background with the very annoying laughter. She ruin jokes. Whereas John Warner wrote with a question during the show. There is the frequent sound in the background of a girl laughing I was wondering one. Is it a real person or Cam laughter? John, C our last note to every who that person was three and could she teach my wife to laugh at my jokes. Assuming, of course, they're funny. We're not gonna soon that tone, four if not maybe you could somehow sell her laughter on your website, and I could play it when I make jokes, and my wife doesn't laugh, it would make me feel so much better. Wow. Boy, that is a low bar. Yeah. Low bar for feeling better. But you know he having taped laughter. He finds either Tony or bunnies left delightful. Yeah. And other people find Tony or Bonnie's laugh, infuriating. Yeah, it's ruined a lot of lives. Yeah. The way I'm understanding the most polarizing thing on our show. Yeah. People were uplifted by the comedy on the show until they heard that laugh. And then they had a pullover just because they were gonna egg obeying. Yeah. They rip that I phone out of their car turned off to pot. All right. Listeners, we have a conundrum so who's laughter? Are you really responding to captain crinkle or Tony Nita hall we decided to have a laugh or Phyllis Diller? Thank god. She's not here. We're gonna play you the two laps. We won't tell you who's loving. I love those too, but you know as a laugh tracks. I rest my case. All right. So sound engineer, Anthony. And I know that makes you sound like a character mister Rogers. Anthony could you please play laughter clip? Number one. Okay. So that background laughter is either Tony or Bonnie, I know who it is. And now could you please play laughter clip? Number two. And that one is either Bonnier Tony. So this is what we're gonna do. It's brilliant. Are you ready? Go to our Facebook page. Nobody listens to the Poundstone Facebook page, and we'll have those two clips there each in its separate little entry, and all we want our listeners to do is listen to one of those mystery laughs, and if it delights, you click the heart icon, and if it enrages you clicking the angry vase icon and do that from both of them. And if you don't, if it doesn't affect you emotionally feel free to just put a quip in there or something make a comment. But we really wanna get a sense of who is delighting you and who is annoying, you and is at the same person and keep in mind, either one of these laugher as could be the what do they call it? Keynote speaker at your graduation this spring. Right. Keep that in mind right after the person the commencement commitments. Yeah. Either one is available. It's been laugher for commencement speech to, which one will you? Prefer to, to have very interested graduated from Wayne State wasn't Wayne State. She never graduated. She said she went there a little, yeah. Yeah. Phyllis Diller did the commencement speech and what you sound like? Okay. Now there's another issue that comes up for the show. And that's my coughing. Now, admit our show is a weekly symphony of coughing laughing. I have a chronic cough. I've had it for thirty years or something. And right. Sound engineer Anthony is asked me to say, give me a moment before I got off, right. Can be moment. Yeah. You can do that, though. Right. It's a little hard. Honestly. Me about I'm joking saying the coffee, so spontaneous that you don't have or give me a moment. What we need is a phone booth. That's for crying only it's very noisy studio, given how few people are in near it's redo coughing. There's laughing they're gonna put the high speed rail road through here, and we got captain crinkle, who is her own symphony of extraneous noises all for now. Just. And not only that, if you'll notice it's not like your script. Paula is what's your script? It's pieces of paper. Look at hurts. It's folded hers. This folded to get double get maximum sound on it. What you rifles through it. And also, what she likes to do is put bubble wrap in between the pages. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing missing in this is the three stooges snoring. You know if you wanna come in on any of the bodily noises made in this podcast, you can write us at nobody listens to Paula Poundstone at gmaiLcom or visit us on that Facebook page in vote. That's at nobody listens to Bala Poundstone. That's where you can find behind the scenes videos and pictures participate in some serious research polls. And we'd just might read one of your posts on the air. Like we just done did. We'll be right back after this message. Thanks for coming. Thanks. These are real podcast listeners, not actors, we took the identifying marks off this podcast, just tell me your impressions. It's really sexy. My first thought is like radio lab. Definitely something popular yet really popular a hit show, but funny to like, does Tina Fey have a podcast or the Marx brothers. Yes. This podcast radio lab, but hosted by the Marx brothers and sexy like shoddy it reminds me of exactly, and they're all writing, and it'd be M W close, but not quite take a look behind these panels. And then watch this rocket blast off into space. Ooh. Then there's the pies we made you now let's show you the podcast. Wow, it was Jordan, Jesse. Go. Jordan Jesse go hold on. That was five hundred fourteen JD power in associates. Podcasting awards. That was really scary, but compelling, I guess, I should definitely subscribe to Jordan Jesse go. Yeah. I'd say so. Jordan, Jesse go a real podcast. Hello, internet on your husband, host Travis. Mcelroy. And I'm your wife host Teresa McElroy, and together, we present schnatter's. It's extrordinary etiquette. Ordinary occasions. We explained the historical significance of everyday etiquette topics. Then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly maximum fund dot org, or wherever podcasts are found no RSVP required checkout manners and Hirschman get it. Beco- you nobody's pulling what do you wanna say to all those people out there listening to nobody listens to boulevard stone? Sure. You know, Finn go only sold two pieces of art in his lifetime. And those were two drawings, which he sold to his brother. Well, that's shit won't work for putt. Cast. Only way, we can continue to make nobody listens to pull a Poundstone is if we reach more listeners, we're growth oriented operation very important. Many of our listeners, nobody's they call themselves although there, somebody's us of them, don't know quite how to share with their kith that they are. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone listeners. So I have written some simple sample tile, log, that can make that conversation because this is simple sample dialogue that might work for some of our listeners out there. We do this every week. And I back in the day, you might remember I would get a little bit hot under the collar about the fact that you that you're simple. Sample dialogue is neither simple nor a good sample of what someone might say, but I've progressed to the point where that no longer steams me this. This dialogue will work for for, for lots of lots of. Okay. Great looking forward to it listeners friend. Boy, you're in a good mood lately listener. You know, I feel lighter listeners friend. That's how it seems you you seem lighter. Why do you think that is listener? Well, there's something I've never told you I was once bitten by four toed hedgehog really listeners friend. Is that what that God, awful, six inch scar across your hand is from I'd never wanted to ask listener? Yes, it is. I've never talked about it before. Because head charge they're so cute. They're sonic. And Mr. Perko pants from Toy Story, two, there were wonderful reputation. So naturally, I thought I was the only one who'd been viciously attacked by one, but I've been listening to nobody listens to Paula Poundstone the comedy podcast that Sheila bair describes as the whole shit show is perfectly hilarious, imperfectly wonder. Awful. And Paula was bitten by a four toed hedgehog, right on the podcast listeners, friend out, podcasters sensitive, that must've heard listener Adam Filbert can be quite inimical towards her. She's pretty tough the point. Is it just felt so good to learn that I'm not the only one and the show is so funny, I've just been feeling later. What will well as you'd be really helpful. I think I can expand our reach through eastern Europe. Yes, thorough that should boost because in eastern Europe head trousers yet, Croatia. You know, you can't you can't drove stick without hitting a hedgehog getting a four toed hedgehog. Those those are the vicious one. So you've got bit by a hedgehog on this podcast. Yes. And so you worked at into your sample dialogue. Yeah. Like it thanked if I have one critique. Yeah, it feels like at the end. There wasn't really a reason to take a side swipe at me your co host. And yet, you do know there's no sites where it's what I was telling listeners what the listener was telling their friend, see the friend was worried that I was hurt by the white from the four toed hedgehog. Thank you. And what, what the listener was telling their friend is that. I'm tough right? But straight your toughness said the listeners is Adam Felber can be quite inimical towards her. Yeah. A little bit of a dig a little bit of a casting yourself as the victim in me as the inimical one nickel. Nickel. Or what are you a victim on this podcast slipper? All right. If you wanna share with your listeners, friends listeners wanna share the joy of the podcast, this is a good way to do it. Right. But you could do so without. Dogging co host to don't see how okay. Well, thanks and nobody's remember our Email address, again, is nobody listens. Poundstone at g mail dot com and you can find me an adamant Instagram, Facebook and Twitter where I'm inimical towards everyone. Everyone towards me mostly, you remind everybody about are fed, tastic advertisers away travel dot com. That's fantastic smart luggage twenty dollars off. If you go to a way, travel dot com slash Paula, and use the code Paula twenty and hellofresh dot com. If you want eighty dollars off your first four boxes go to hellofresh dot com slash Poundstone, eighty that's code Poundstone eighty that you enter at checkout to get your deal. All right. That's show. Nobody listens. Poundstone is hosted by Paula Poundstone, and yours truly Adam Felber produced by Paula Poundstone Adam Felber bunny burns, Ken, Liz ebonic and Tony Anita. Oh, technical direction by Ray horsemen, and mixing by empty Al farro, special guests to tonight's house, bend the amazing, Jamie Chamberlain. And thanks again, to our guests, the one and only lily Tomlin. I love that I get to say that our head of security is Joan knuckles. Glickman transcription services for the show provided by transcribe me for your special Poundstone discount, use code Paula Poundstone play. Facing your order. Transcribe me dot com. That's our show for tonight, won't somebody, please listen to me. Ooh. Maximum fund dot org. Comedy and culture artist owned audience support it.

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