Good. Hey. Hey. Hey, it's okay. And a half a little favor to ask you every year on this time radio TOPI does its annual listener survey. The favor is taking just a few minutes to fill out the questionnaire. If. You go to survey dot Pierre X dot org slash heart. You can tell us what you think of the heart squeezed. Helps, learn a little bit more about you who you are what you like and don't like, and if you actually listen to any of our ads that will help us out and also you answer any questions about all the other radio copious shows you listen to, and that'll help radio TOPA. To take the survey, go to survey DOT PR x DOT ORG slash heart. exhale. From Mermaid Palace and Radio Topi. Welcome. To the heart. I'm Caitlyn. Pressed. I don't know if you've been feeling. The absence of physical touch. In Your Life. If you have been missing. The way that it feels. To have contact. On your skin. Sensation. Physical. Pleasure For this episode. I recommend. You. SNUGGLE in. Lie Down. Close Your eyes. And Let the sensual experience. Of the world that you're about to enter wash over you. Before the core and K went to erotic party hosted by her friends me and mercury. It's called neon touch. And it's essential tonic space where a group of women and Non Binary Queer people of color and some select allies explore pleasure together with the help a special. Toy. On One says. This is the most John Tall, all the tools it just versus the electricity across all the different songs. So I'm GonNa do is on both of your arms and GonNa, show you what all the tools alike. And not going do it anywhere else to in a little? Behrman. Begins to notice this. Even just your are there are all these different. And everyone has a different. Feel good and don't. Think the difference between the palm of your hand in the back of your hand. One of my favorite is actually like under the fingernails. And then the really crazy thing is that you can actually touch me and shot me. So even though I'm the one who's connected I have the power. Were it's a switch situation right like. I don't necessarily always have to be giving and I have the power. And then if we were to hold hands, you could shock the next person. Claps can. Conduct electricity. Flower. You can just pluck one out I only meet one. It's like it's almost like the difference between making your own food. Ordering. Really. Good poke. Somehow. Coming from making your salary is like a little bit. This is really this all. That other stuff is like. Beginner. The neon has become a really important object to me because it allows me to. Have the these kinds of discussions around touch and play. That I want have. Suddenly. There's an object that close. Shock you with the little blue lightning bolts between my finger and your finger and. Like we all kind of have preconceived notions about what pleasure should look and feel like about what Saxony erotic are like and. This tool most people have never felt this sensation before an it just kind of sets us all back two zero. trysofi yes So we're kind of sitting in this lovely little circle all. Keefer tichenor time when my misselling. Feeling, the effort and the time. The one that's become the sake barometer basically for the type of person and that type of play an interested in and it doesn't. You don't need the electricity to do it. It's just a really great. Like, entry way for people to understand like Oh. If you like this kind of touch like this patient, John Tall you know kind of can be silly like it can be so many different things. If you like this, you're one of my people we should spend time together because it's hard to find people who actually enjoy these things and have the patience to do them back to other people. The acknowledgement that pleasure isn't a complete thing. It's always in flux. Also I think the neon one really helps people understand that. leaving. Tonight is the first time that I'm hosting this gathering I- intention was really to create a space to explore the erotic intellectually and creatively, and with our bodies, a space that would be sustainable for me, and it finally dawned on me that that would be within friendships. Is I invited people I've collaborated with the past when I used to make more artwork. People that I've met in. Dungeons spoiler. Somewhere. Lush name. Once a year is alive while mercury. We met at an appear pse play party. We're both Philippine ex we're both very creative people were both healing. Cool. This looks lovely. You brought in the Dream House. Got Kicked. You're really good passage. Okay. It just gives me so much pleasure when we're like doing little dance around consent basically. And attitude. We all Kinda sat down amongst these large potted plants in the middle of the floor. The windows are open, the breezes blowing and were all kneeling down on this this beautiful rug there blankets all around and there are jars of different cut flowers. FEELS REALLY husks the most successful events to me were the ones where. We all gathered together talk valet foundries in attention like desires and like played for a long time at like. Begin to really like their guard tone. Requesting. An might have scared to request for one ever. Oh. Yes. Oh. You know someone ceasing that they like they're like I would like to try not to. Enter the space just with people. Something Be. I have been. As Palm. The kind of they that. Emily. Required as like a lot of time like you have to create trust with the people that you now. Really intended to do today was introduce everyone to each other like let's get comfortable talk about like where we're. You know we're interested in it looks like the real, front. Instead. feels. Good. Oh. That acknowledged that wear like giving pleasure to your body. Requires US or someday. You're receiving the pleasure. To give. Like The whole negotiation on the dance around the. Knowledge that we're doing it feels really good. Yeah Many hands and hello. WOULDN'T BELIEVE All these. Inside. Sometimes, when I was like in the most pain doing the most healing work like I would spend a lot of time helping others he'll. As like a way to kind of you know show myself that I know how to do the US like how? Cynthia feels really make. Shirts. The back of my head for now. Oh. So. Then you have to spend time figuring out what feels good for you and then you have to be able to communicate. What. Like what would that good thing is to somebody else can do it. Love. Undoing okay. So. Right now? No really. Oh. Won't. Shock. Doing meeting on my friends. Oh You. Think. We wind down. How Thank you everyone. Grain. Burger that. Who wants to nine? Anyone. Please forgive this brief interruption. 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Basically like me, she needs to be cared for it's like it's like my way of telling people like I'm now in a space where like I've you know I need to be cared for it can happen and all these different ways. But. I can read something that I probably. WOULD BE, lovely Something that I've written. Yes. But. Maybe like once I've liked receiving for a little bit. You'll know. Thinking about my synodic now. Oh I was struggling to figure out how to heal myself from some really old deep trauma us. You know I don't know they're all these like nine games that were always playing with yourself for. Trying to understand things like you name naming something recognizing something you know the first stuff and then you try to spend time with it. It's so uncomfortable sometimes. Start with just the handle the Rosen's. Kinda chartreuse. And he just keep spending more time with all these different ways from all the different angles and eventually. You, know you just have a much better understanding of yourself in the need enough to eventually all become second nature through I. also particularly love hearing the sound of the puddles ripped off the style that served up to me to decide. Do I want to present myself to others Halloween interact with others what am I looking for right now? I am sensitive in like, yeah. The same the same places every time where I don't like it in certain places. I mean Jeremy Anticipation Monroe. See Gray important to me. Your fingertips being i. That's amazing. And then we have to work together taking the building blocks about ourselves and each other put them together to build something new I mean I, it's. To me that's quite revolutionary, but that's also just how sex should be. Try something. This may be hard or impossible but. I want to see if it's possible for everyone to start at the top of my body. Make a ring A. Data. We do. I am trying to create wholeness or myself, and I would rather like surreal with people will be intimate with people share these journeys like not everyone needs to know everything about what I'm struggling with the we all know we're struggling and working on. And that's kind of you know the acknowledgement of that within erotic space is super important today. Yeah those things you're really connected in terms of my vulnerability creating wholeness. How? Does bringing up. Connected with your body, you're always the. Sharing. and not necessarily like going deep into like what the trauma is it just like his release and kind of witnessing witnessing everyone sharing the zing support release. kind of coming down and after care? La. Pleasure to do that. I come back a to Pleasure activism. And there's like a quote in their. Pleasure. As the pats revolution and it's like really only from understanding like in a fundamental way. What's Okay and what's not okay for your own body, which is pleasure he now like. It's only when you understand that can you really apply it to the rest of your life because if you don't know what's right with you or what's not with you and that's different for everyone you now and like there's no rights and wrongs it's like you're the only one who can do that work to figure out what's okay. What's not okay. I realized that, yeah understanding. My pleasure map was actually the most radical thing that I could spend time doing because they couldn't couldn't like reach out words again until that was right inside of me. You? Seinfeld, so good. Thank you. Just ask you if you come back. Thank you so much. Phil Really. I feel like you really understand what? When did What I was asking for. Thank you. The definition of love that I have been obsessed with. Comes from. fell cooks is although. Doing such a good job receiving. Oh. Love is the will to nurture once owner another spiritual wellbeing. Obviously four hands with people while they're like receiving and doing their activities or tell like tell them like I'm here with you like it's so beautiful When you guys are doing invoke coming down it was. Like you're gas meg. And then. You come back up I was just like. Just, totally, like foot to switch into into. These Even though it was the exact same thing. Was Crazy. Like he give me permission to feel something different. And Jason were. Like an extension of the first Mike, the feeling like bodily. Sensation that I've been like how to channel. How, to access us? Good. History. This episode was produced by Nicole Kelly. With Megan Gordon and Angela Penn Jarido. I was just thinking. NPS getting to know lean real quick grade out. Editorial support from me CAITLIN PRESSED BB enter and Sharon machine. So beautiful. Golf. All the heart is phoebe under Nicole Kelly Sharon MSCI. He to Pasco M me Caitlyn pressed. You can follow us on Instagram at the heart radio twitter. Same thing you can go to the heart radio DOT ORG. If you WANNA donate money to support the art were making. And you can go to Mermaid Palace dot org to find other shows produced by Marin Palace this magic art company where we make Weirdo Shit for your listening pleasure. You can follow meet at Caitlin pressed. Mostly, I just post picks of my court teen life. And we thank Meka Bali. And we think just grosman to people who helped put down the bricks that this show stands upon creatively. And, all of the other people who have helped the show become what it is. and. Thank you to you. Listening Person Person Who is listening? For. Following along with our curiosities. And our questions. Creative explorations. Okay. Heart is a proud member of Radio Tokyo You've probably heard us say that the heart is a proud member of Radio Topa a collection of unique and creative podcasts. 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