53: The Beautiful Ones
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Thanks and then get to sleep. I'm Nora mcnerney and this is terrible. Thanks for asking. And this is g g. Yes, thank you for having mimic cited. Gee-gee is a person who does things who goes to things like me. I'm a person who goes to bed early every night. That's a place right? Gee-gee is everywhere. If you go out in Minneapolis to first avenue to the drag brunches to any concert, you're gonna see g g I stand out and my crowd of friends and pretty much anywhere because I'm tall loud, outspoken, black woman, and I really, really, really embrace every prior to me like I want I wanted to be seen. So one day a few years ago, gee-gee was at a concert. It's this big yearly event here. Minneapolis called rock the garden. It's produced with our sister station. The. Which you can stream online, too great, indie music station. Anyways, it's big and loud. Like concerts usually are an yawn and my faith. I thought crack and I noticed swelling on his side of my face before, but I thought maybe my face was just getting back. Maybe I was gaining. And so I- yawned and I heard a crap now that's weird and it didn't hurt, but it was also weird to hear crack like that at like a concert or you're just, I all I did was yawn now it's just a yawn and a crack. But of course it's not just yawn and a crack. It's a warning sign. G. g is the Queen of Minneapolis, Twitter, that is a thing we have here in Minneapolis. Twitter is like a small town within Minneapolis where everyone knows each other. I really don't know if that exists in other places, but it's very real here and g g or OEM GI get it though. M g g it's a, it's a good handle g. g. is a centerpiece of that seem, and that's actually pretty incredible thing because gee-gee isn't from here. She was born in raised in Atlanta, which may be doesn't seem like a big deal, but Minneapolis is a hard place to move to for kind of notorious for it actually for being a place that has Minnesota nice, which basically means will be nice to you. But we made all of our friends in middle school or high school, and that's enough for us. G. g. though moved here after college, and if you follow her on social media, you can see she did not have a hard time making friends. If you follow her on social media, you'll see her hot takes pop culture and politics, and you will see her. You'll see tons of photos of her most of them taken by her friend, Darren. Yeah, I love the ones where I'm looking off to the side like profile shots because feeling I have a nice profile. I love photos where they're very, like casual, like I'm not really posing. I'm just being me, I'd love wind. We're at the events that we do together like or various stuff around the cities, and he'll need the test the light. And I'll just, you know, he'll cheesy take a photo and it'll be very casual photo of me just standing there and I'll have my phone in my hand. I'm not expecting it. He just needs to test the light and he's just such a great Bataga for that. You know, it was just. Very natural for him to like catch me like in as me as you know how I. How I wanna be like portrayed and stuff. I mean, it makes me feel good. There are lots of voters of GT, Robin, all over town. Photos that are posed photos that are candid photos that are all beautifully lead photos that are just beautiful. You may know her face, but you would not know the story of her face. You may see photos, but you would not know why there are so many you may think, oh, this, this lady loves herself or even mean little full of herself. It's my Minnesota. My accent. But you wouldn't know my loving herself and loving how she looks is so meaningful to her. So being at that concert, hearing that crack, that's not the first time. The has felt something in her face. Back in middle school, she'd had a little cyst removed from her jaw, and it wasn't a big deal. They just scooped it out that is in Avakian of kind of gross image. But I said it. Would g remembers about that cyst and it's scooping is that her mom was so nervous, but middle school gee-gee wasn't nervous. Middle school gee-gee was concerned about the important stuff. You know when the minute he said, he's like, you know, we don't want you in p. because we don't want to fly out your face and I'm thinking like clue them like balls by my face. You know, there goes your social life. Yes, I'm like. I'm like, oh my God, I get to skip be. This is great. I don't have to be have a free period. What? And so you know, it was on one hundred thinking this isn't. Gun at that my life on the other hand, you're like, wow, I actually have this thing in my in my face. So it was very about small native, scooped it out. See they scooped it out. Keep saying it. Would g g had was called an Amelia blessed Doma. It's a benign tumor, which means it's not cancer. How much had that surgery, you know, impacted your day-today life. Never. It never loved us that that was the whole thing. There is nothing like visible that showed that that happened. It was literally cut open and my jaw scooped it out, and that was it. So for a while until she was almost done with college, that was it. That was it until g started to notice some job pain. It hurt like Tuesday would. So I would take a little IB profane but it didn't hurt. It didn't eight like, oh, I need help right now. It never. It wasn't like this painful thing. It was kind of like there. It was an annoyance more than anything. What annoyed me most what actually got me to the doctor was the fact that it was growing so big and it looked like a softball look ahead, a giant, like what do you call those things? Job breaker in my mouth at all times. If you're thinking, how did you not notice a job breaker in your mouth? I mean, college is a real special time, isn't it? I mean, I had mono for so long that by liver most field and I did not notice so g does notice the job breaker, but she's in college. So she just works with it. Like I knew my angles, like when I took photos of my girlfriends, I, you know, I knew I didn't like to eat on that side of my faith because it would hurt a little bit. I knew to stay away from crunchier foods because. I didn't like the way it fell on that side of my mouth. Judy does eventually go to her doctor and he sends her to a specialist and that specialist says to her, hey, remember that Amelia bless dome for middle school. It's back. That's what the job breaker is. By the way, it's that Amelia bless Joma which is so big that the doctor is surprised that g g can even talk. And this time it's not going to be as simple as it was the first time back when they just scooped it out. This solution is going to be more intense. The doctor starts telling her, okay, so we're going to have to remove some of your teeth on the bottom because we're basically taking out that whole tumor that entire part of your jaw, and we're going to replace it with your fibula, make you a brand new job, and I'm thinking, okay, so this is going to be a couple of surgeries, no one surgery. So the doctor was going to remove a part of Jiji's jaw, and then use a part of her fibula which is your shinbone to make anew John. That is not just a big surgery. That's also a big recovery. I was going to be in the hospital two weeks. I was going to be on a medically induced coma for a few days after the removal. I, I didn't think of all the. Things I was just like, yeah, I'm just going to get this done. Gee, just wanted to get it over with. She just wanted the tumor out so she could move on with her life. The surgery was fourteen hours long. And when g g woke up from the medically induced coma, her family was there. And so was her new face. There was a mere in there by the think and I could see my face and I didn't look like me. I was swollen. I look like that kid from the MAC that mask movie was share. I, I was like, so I and you know, like of course, I care about how I look. I mean, I was like, you know, around twenty one. So I, I mean, the bone new bone that was in my face that made they made me a new job with settling in the teeth. You really can tell like, I didn't have teeth. Like right now. I still don't have those teeth. Gee-gee was twenty one now that the surgery was over in the tumor was out. She just wanted to get on with her life. She wanted to finish school, get a job and be a grownup already. So she told her doctors, speed it all up all the physical therapy, the emotional therapy, all of it for face and for her leg which is still healing. Gee-gee quickly went from a Walker to a cane, but not just any king. It was leopard print of though happy. I use a cane for a little bit and I felt good and my rehab, I did it and got it done. So when I graduated in twenty eleven I. Accepted a job up here in Minneapolis. I knew I was gonna like be like a star because like within the first two weeks there I got my first promotion and that felt good because my mom was like, I can't g are you sure it's so cold up there and see that as volume into that dome. And as I mean, my mom is just no. And then when I got here and I'm like, literally crying walk into a bus dog, then I realized I shouldn't have been. So you know like that you're probably add a bus stop wearing like cute shoes and like a fashion jacket, like you're like, oh, this is like a fall known like Minnesota's no place to be cute at winter relate. Buckling. Okay. Buckland your snowsuit like Amish. When you go to uptown like these girls and you're like, put your pants back on you are outside. It is not. This is not a city to try to let go to a club address ever the okay, that's hilarious. I learned very quick to keep my key that my death and then go to work and my booth GT worked in customer service at a big retailer here in Minneapolis, and she was really good at her job. I mean, obviously she was promoted after two weeks and she was really good at Minneapolis. She made friends and built a following here on social media. She was offered another job with more responsibility and she took it. And I remember that day very Bentley because it has many corn dogs, and I felt really good about that day at lunch because we have many corn grey day, and I gave him my two. Gee-gee was basically the black Mary Tyler Moore, throwing her beret in the air. She made it after all. I'm doing great and feeling good. I'm like, you mentioned Queen of new. I'm having a great Amore like work life balance, and I'm maybe to do what I want to the concerts. I wanna go go to festivals and you. I wanna be volunteer where I wanna be. I'm able to, you know, put my energy into a lot of things, and that don't just concern work g. g. as a glamorous woman, just great makeup again, follow her for all the fine chin covers at marshalls, TJ Maxx, amazing hair outfits that are always on point. I love experimenting with my style and my hair. I closed make cesary my mak- nails, any kind of expression. I love thinking outside the box of what I want to be high want to perceive me. You notice g g you don't notice her scars right away. But she's aware of them the scar on my base healed nicely, and it is visible behind my ear and undermine net visible. I would get a lot of questions about it because at the time it has shorter hair and I were behind my ear. I was very self conscious about the scar on my lay. It is huge. I never wore shorts or skirts addresses for that reason. So that outdoor concert four years had passed since g got out of college since her last surgery when g. g. felt that crack in her face, she knew it wasn't good, and she's a grownup grownups who has been through two facial surgeries. So she knows that the responsible thing to do is to go see a doctor right away. She goes to an ENT here. Minneapolis who has all her records, and he takes a look. You know, I've read about your history and everything, and I, you know, would like to do a biopsy if you don't mind. And it wasn't like a biopsy where they had the check me and I had to have actual surgery biopsy. He just did it in the room and got a sample and everything. They cut open where my surgery was before, got a few samples right up in there and and my lower jaw area, and I felt good about it. You know? Because nobody's saying anything different, they're not calling it anything because they don't know so far. No big deal. G. g goes back week later and he says, GD, you know, I do want to confirm for you it. It is your meal blessed Doma it is. It has come back and it's more aggressive than it was before. And I was like, I'm. You're wrong because they took that out. So redo the tests got to be something else, and he was, I know this is a very, very aggressive form. He was like, it's literally behind your eye. He was like, it's literally eating away at that side of the face. It's behind your eyes behind your nose. So four years after I moved here, I gone on with my life for four years, like this new life in Minneapolis and and here it was again, I, it was hard to in the moment you're thinking, oh, why is it that you know, in my head, I'm thinking. Why couldn't they get it all in the way it was explained to me, they took what they could see, you know, in these little cells, they leave behind Suber aggressive and they can be, you can't get all of them all the time. Those cells had grown and multiplied, and we're now as the doctor put it eating Jiji's face. What would that tumor have done the second time if it had continued to grow, it would've gone behind my eyes and I could have been blind behind my eye behind my left eye. So when they did the surgery, they were like, yeah, you know if we go so far in, you might be blind on that side. And I was like, okay, whatever. I got another. I. She sounds cool here casual, not too worried, but I mean when someone tells you that your entire face is being eaten by a tumor, a tumor that could have blinded you or kill you. I actually worried about this tumor every single day. This time mines -iety was piqued. You know what I mean? Like I was like, it's back again. What if this doesn't work? Or what? If it comes back and you know, they call it a mutation. What if they come back and mutate as cancer, and then it kills me or what if it takes over the right side of my face and I have damage over there and just don't be walking around like with have a faith, you know. After big moments like this, when you think the world should stop. It doesn't. There's always something mundane that you have to do like go get gas up milk go to work, which is where g g has to go the day after finding out that a tumor she thought was gone forever is now back and bigger than ever. G g had to sit down at her same desk, answer the phone and help people with their computer problems. Okay. Well, may I log onto your computer with you and see what's going on, you know, and as manly yelling at me about like the photos app and I'm like, literally, like I just was like, all right. All right. Hold on. I just transferred him. And I like when I'm FaceTime on my boss now they look, I, I can't do this like I can't talk to these people about their their iphones or whatever while I'm dealing with like a tumor in my face and she was like, excuse me what? And I was like, yeah. I'm not feeling very well. I had a panic attack the other day, and I'm probably going to snap on a customer in a minute. So I'm going to take a half day by. Gee, gees job offered amazing benefits. So she took medical leave to prepare for her surgery because this was her third time, and she knew just how serious it was. There were a lot more what ifs. This time, though the size and location of the tumor made this surgery even bigger than the others. They were talking about how they were going to do the surgery and they're like, are going to have to shave side your left side of your your head. Cut from mare. Do another cut under your jaw again. And so I'd be less hat faith and they've taken off and I'd be like, that's really cool and all. But I mean, you mean you're gone shave my head like him. He, you know, really is really awful. Be. Terrible. Thanks for asking. Get support from stitch, fix, stitch fix is an online personal styling service that finds delivers closed shoes and accessories to fit your Bod budget and your lifestyle. I'm only keeping things that I'm like, hell yes on and that really wasn't a big deal. Open the box, tried everything on liked it all, but was not passionately romantically in love with it. I put it back in the little thing and then I just mailed it back and it didn't get charged for the stuff. I didn't keep an, you know, I got to leave detailed feedback about what I did and did not love about the pieces and next month, my styles just start all over. So there's no subscription required consign up to receive scheduled shipments or get your fix whenever you want. The styling feet is only twenty dollars, which is applied towards anything you keep from your shipment. So get started now at stitch, fix com slash TEFA and you'll get an extra twenty five percent off. When you keep all the items in your box that stitch fixed com slash TEFA to get started today, stitch fixed com slash TEFA. Terrible things for asking. Also get support from redwing heritage. Redwing heritage has been making beautiful handcrafted boots, the beautiful river valley of redwing Minnesota for over a hundred years. Fun fact bummy I have a lot of anxiety is one of them is about recycling a look at a box of my kids hers and be like, wow, they'll be still be sitting in a landfill hundred years from now taking up space. Never decomposing redwing heritage. Boots are not meant to be disposable. I used to be person who had by trend be things. Maybe look how cheap it is such a deal that I bought two. I don't do that Reverend heritage boots. The really meant to last for like ever their classic. So no matter what the current trends are, and I wouldn't know because I'm not very cool. They stand the test of time. It's happening right now. Thirty percent off your purchase with code TEFA thirty at redwing heritage dot com. Redman heritage. Never does sales, never, but the offers good until December twenty fifth. So go check out redwing heritage, men's and women's. They got excess res on redwing heritage dot com and enter TEFA thirty to get thirty percent off until December twenty fifth deal alert over. Can I tell you about a podcast that I really love it's called heavyweight. It's hosted by Jonathan Goldstein over Gimblett Jonathan Goldstein where you know, he's just one of those people whose voice, you know voices like a hug. Anyways, he talks to them about basically their biggest regrets or something weighing on them, right, get it heavyweight, just sort of work through it in the way that Jonathan Goldstein does very well which is humorously and kindly and really dryly. So the new season started, I listened to it about six minutes after came out. It's so funny. I don't wanna cues him of anything, but I had the idea for heavyweight myself. I pitched it to Hans when it was pitching TTF ADA Hans and hunt said that it was a bad idea. So in Honda's face, he was wrong because Jonathan Goldstein had the same idea and it's a head podcast, moral, the story, what is Hans? No second moral, that story, you should go listen to. Heavyweight. It's available. If you're listening to this, you know how to get hot cast. So go find heavyweight. And we're back. It's scary medically to know that somebody is going to remove half your face to get to a tumor. And it's scary also. Superficially, I don't mean that too shallow concern how you look. I mean, I mean that the concern about how you will look is very real and very valid. What do you do when you might lose your face as you know it before the surgery? I said, I'm taking a ton of pitches myself now because I don't know what I'm gonna look like after I've seen many of these photos, they're all so beautiful. Gee-gee looks regal stately even when the setting is just a grimy music venue in downtown Minneapolis. She gazes directly at the camera. She owns it. And then it's time gee-gee goes home to Georgia to her mother, Beverly, and her aunts and uncles. She gets the hospital gown. The head shave, the whole thing. She goes under and twenty four hours later. She's back in her hospital bed, seeing myself in the mirror in the in the hospital. The big one, what I could finally turn my body toward it. They were getting me up to walk around. And so I wasn't like confined to the bed all day. And I looked up and I saw myself and I saw my I was completely swollen, shut my right. My left. I, I could see my entire lip was completely swollen because one of the incisions went through my lip, the side of my nose was completely flared. It was red because they cut alongside of my nose. My job was it literally look worse than when I had the abscess in the tomb. Or in there before because it was so swollen from the trauma, and then my chest late where my train was, there was still a hole there. That's like, you know, when these tracheotomy I honestly didn't know what they meant. I was like, okay, whatever. Like whatever you gotta do this out of my face. I'm fine. But like I didn't know literally that win thing like I didn't connect for me and they always had to keep putting the the little toot back in my nose. You know my feeding tube because I couldn't eat for weeks either. So that was really traumatic to see like that actual hold there and it like seeing all that I kept thinking, how am I gonna look normal again? Because this looks like, you know, it was really tough to see that, but I. It it was awful. It was not a good feeling that all I did not feel beautiful at didn't feel good because it I, I was hurting. But then on top of that, I felt like I looked terrible and I remember crying and I couldn't catch my breath when I was crying because I had that trait. So it was like it was really awful. And I felt like that for a very long time. So here's the thing you're supposed to be happy to just have your health. You're supposed to be happy to be alive. You're supposed to be happy that someone was able to treat you and that it wasn't cancer and that you will live. You're not in a moment like this supposed to care about how you look. But why is that. For months GD stayed at her mother's house, trying to heal, trying to hide away from the world. What were your days like guys. It was like, I get up. I wouldn't therapy once a week, and then I had physical therapy once a week, and then I come home it literally all day. I would just sit in my bed maybe read beyond on the internet on tumbler or something. Destruct- myself. Watch TV all day. I would be shopping like all my mom was like, what are you? Do? You literally are not working right now? What what. I just, you know, keep myself occupied with things. They weren't healthy coping mechanisms at all. Nothing I was doing was I mean, I considered it self care. Everybody really wasn't. It was really destructive. It wasn't good. They were like stepping on eggshells around me because I was a mess. And I feel like I had to get out of that situation because it wasn't helping me or them for me to keep doing that. And while it's nice to have my support system, I don't feel be under my mom's wing and having her baby me and my aunt, my uncles and my grandpa baby me was hoping to get anything done. You know, Beverly really disagree with this. She knows. I love my mom film mice. But I mean, I've told you this before it was getting way like it was getting Barry Green gardens and they're like, it was my mom. I love it at death, but we are not meant to live together like that. The entire time gee-gee is on medical leave. She's living in Georgia and still paying rent on her apartment in Minneapolis. Tells her mom one day. She's going back to Minneapolis to check on her apartment. She did not want me coming here at all. She was very against it, but she led me home. Back in Minneapolis gee-gee does check on her apartment. She also sees her friends and she's beyond say, not like one on one in a transformative moment, but in a transformative moment in a stadium with tens of thousands of other fans for the first time in a long time, gee-gee was back in her city back in her element doing what she always did before a big show getting ready. I remember feeling really good. I remember feeling like myself, I remember putting so much thought and energy into what I was wearing. What did you wear? I wore the prettiest dress. It was just a black dress, and then I made myself. I bought a flower crown from Clair's and some plastic, lemons and glued glued lemons on the crown. It was almost like a wasn't sick. It was like. Being like myself again, we did what we always did. I felt good like that night was an incredible night for me. It made me feel like myself. It felt good. Even if g g was still recovering from that surgery, even if she had new scars and new pains. I remember like looking at myself in the mirror and I was still very swollen, obviously still getting over things, but I just at felt like. This was life. And honestly, all these scars that had on my face and all this, all the swelling and everything that was. I mean, all that was just like symbolism late macer vibrating. And so then when we got to the show, I knew the prince cover and it was the the beautiful ones. And so. It was kind of great and it made me, and that's also one of those songs that also makes me feel like really good. It's really, you know, sad, stick love song, but it makes you feel really good. Because you be like so much in love with yourself that you are love sick. The story does not end with the onset beyond as a part of the story as she always should be. I had no idea what she had been through or gone through until she told me was sometime when my husband Aaron had brain cancer, he had had two brain surgeries to take his brain tumor out and the scary time for me. I can't remember precisely what she said, but it was something about how she had also had a tumor, but it wasn't as big a deal because it wasn't cancer. But like yes, it is a big deal. You've talked on the show before about comparison and how it is useless intends to just rob us of our humanity. About how the way of downplaying what has happened to us, and it's weird and gross, and also we all do it. And so does g g on the one hand, you'll hear her say, things like I was being Brad, and then you'll hear her say, GD you're healthy and you're very privileged, and you're very lucky and she's all of the above. I mean that loving more than one thing can be true and it is. It always is. It's true. That is lucky. She's lucky that are tumors were benign in that cancerous that she had great medical care that she lived and that she's happy about that. And it's true that she has suffered and will likely suffer again that tumor one that always needs a few cells behind can come back. And even if it doesn't turn into a tumor. Again, she still lives with the effects of those first three surgeries. What will be the long term effects of having Emil blessed Oma? Well, I have no feeling on the left side of might be, I won't get that, but that's just nerve damage permanently. If it comes back again and hits another nerve, if they remove it, I could essentially lose all that feeling. You know. Those things that sound superficial talking about beauty things like lip Villers or Bo tocks. They're usually referred to as cosmetic procedures. They aren't actually just 'cause medic. For g g they're things that she needs the Villers make my lip not caved in the Bota to kind of freeze the nerves, so they kind of stay in place them make my lip not lewd droop also the give me the muscle relaxer the helped me fleet because I can't sleep ever at night. I can't sleep on one side. Can't sleep on the other. I can't relax. I have chronic pain tightness in my face all the time. I am, you know, sick at the drop of hat. Like I'll be having a great Saturday taken that we got from nap, excruciating pain and as a pain, I can't describe and then I'll have to cancel plans and I and then. I just. It's just odd and it and it's not consistent. That's the main thing. It's true that g loves makeup and glam, but she isn't ashamed of her scars. I don't go out of my way to cover them. I don't color correct. You can still see my scars through my makeup. I never an concealing them, but. I do love like the one I mentioned about my Cubans, Bo. I do have a little scar there. I put a little highlight their bring attention to it. The gonna be there forever. I'm never going to have surgery to remove them for all the surgeries that I have had to smooth things out the cosmetic ones anyway, to smooth things out to inject essentially, what is pilasters into my lips. And both talks here in there little pokes prods or whatever for all those cousin medic surgeries that I've had. I never ever ever have even considered. Having the scar removed or the scar hidden or something. Again, anyone who wouldn't be sad about their face being taken apart and sewn back together is lying like absolutely lying. Of course, that would make you sad because our faces are important. So is internal beauty, yes. But also we are still a society that prizes external beauty. I mean people magazine is not making an issue called the fifty most beautiful people on the inside. An I participate in the beauty, Connie. I love it. I love my hair extensions, eyelash extensions. I love makeup tutorials on YouTube. I also realise that talking about beauty and beauty standards really does not mean a lot coming from a tall, thin, white woman with a reasonably attractive face. But beauty standards are real and they do impact women who aren't tall than white women differently. I think that we're so conditioned, they hate ourselves. Everybody like know, especially like with like with young women of color, especially young black women. We're conditioned ourselves like we're told nobody loves us or, you know, just little systematic things that happened, like do our childhood. You know, even from like the little thing, like dolls, like Little Brown dolls, nobody gets those you wanna white one because they're pretty beautiful. Well, what's wrong with the block one. You know what I mean? They're conditioning us as a kid. And so I feel like it's really like a revolutionary at two like flat out, say, I love myself, no matter how I look. He know I might not be this size. I might not look this way I have. Laws and all, and I still love myself. A fun fact about g is that her name isn't really g g. G g g g is nickname when she was born in Atlanta in the mid eighties, her mother named her forecasts. It's what nearly every mother thinks about their child. I say nearly because if you ask me both the kids who came out of me. Knock gorgeous, looked like weird worms for a while. But he was gorgeous. So her mother Beverly made that her official name right there on the birth certificate. Gorgeous is kind of name that comes with pressure. Right? It feels like one of those names that you're required to grow into, like being named honor or charity for prudence. In gorgeous grew into that, Nate not just like, oh, she looks good, gorgeous good job, but also that she knows she looks good because g g loves herself and to me, that is very rare and very RAD, and I'm here for it because self love is the one that is so often the hardest to come by. And then if you do come by it, it's very easily dismissed or derided already. I mean a better not be vanity. Is it narcissism? We can love ourselves. But if we love our looks, we somehow become suspect. We're not supposed to be too concerned with what we look like or to pleased with what we look like. Lest we crossed that line than invisible, ever moving line. And says that she loves herself and she loves what she looks like. That's not small or superficial or silly. That's a huge light revolutionary at people. It's twenty eighteen. You would think. It's okay for someone that stay that and people not be so. Wow, congratulations. Are you serious right now? Like why is this such a mind? Fuck like I love myself. I'm sorry. Like I don't need your approval to do that. You know, I've done it myself. So. I'm Nora mcnerney, and this has been terrible. Thanks for asking. And thanks for listening. I gotta say that's pretty cool view. Our senior producer is Hans byu too. Senior producer is Hans Buteau, but one of Buteau had a YouTube. Would it be the Hans beauty you time? We'll tell. Our assistant producer is Marcel Malecki boo. He don't have any jokes about him yet, but they're coming. Our project manager is Hannah. Mikhak Raas. Our intern is Emma Martin's. She fetched me a great Cup of tea and giving her the full intern experience k. Cup of tea, not too hot, not to cool. What does this poured it out on her. What is this called? This t dirty water. Meghan Oglesby was a wonderful help with this episode. So thank you, Meghan. I got a book recommendation for you to coordinate with this episode. Something that I do when I remember to how about kind of an oldie, but very good. He it's called autobiography of face by Lucy Greeley. It's really, really excellent. You can follow g g at OEM g I g I on Twitter and Instagram. Theme music is by dropper. Wilson of just post bellum. We are production of APM. Concussion. Literally Frau for APM eight PM the association. Purple. Giving more starts with none. None. What? What would start with that. The sociation of Purba mongooses. Among us a snake, by the way it eat snakes, thought it was a snake. Well, more about that later, we are production of APM American public media, good job nor up.