How to Address Family Anger Issues (Hour 1)
In live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios. It's the dave ramsey a._m._c. Show where debt is dumb. Cash is king and the paid off. Hope mortgage has taken the place of the b._m._w. As the status symbol woah choice i'm dave ramsey your host. Thank you for joining us. America open phones at triple eight eight to five five to five. That's triple eight eight. Two five five to five ellen is whether listen. Ellen is an illinois starting this hour hi alan. How're you doing doing. How how are you dave better than i deserve. What's up okay me and my husband were fifty four. We just started your baby steps back back in november <hes> and we have about as a for now the eighty eight thousand dollars still pay odd awed on baby step two <hes> <hes> i i suffer from a chronic <hes> lung heart on condition and my psychologist who i love dearly entrust very well asked me point like last week <music> when i was going to go on disability now. I'm not on i._v. Medication on non oxygen yet. I do need to get myself a <hes> a handicapped placard now <hes> i work as an i._t. Technician most of my stuff is phone support so i it just really it really shook me up and i'm thinking we're still a baby. Step two and we we have next to no retirement and we still have over one hundred thousand dollars left on our house and i just you know just overwhelmed. I understand so <hes> what do you make and what does your husband make. My husband makes about at eighty nine thousand and i make fifty seven thousand before before taxes gross okay so let's run out a worst case scenario. Let's just wave a wand and today poof. You are on s._s._i. Government permanent disability by the way. It's not waving one. It'll take months maybe but aside from the fact that we're dealing with that but let's just say you went from fifty seven thousand to twenty point twenty thousand dollars a year. Oh twenty thousand okay probably probably what might be thirty. I don't know but somewhere in there somewhere between there is probably where you s._s._i. Will land and <hes> doing that. You are also allowed to work. A certain amount are and you could do some i._t. <hes> you know from home home part-time on your own schedule contract wise okay okay so you could add another ten thousand. We'll say if that's what they allow. Let's say they allow that okay so we've got twenty thirty. We've got thirty or forty thousand dollars worth of income fifty-seven your husband your husband makes ninety and so you've got a household income in excess of one hundred thousand dollars. You're fifty four years old. I'm not panicking. Just i'm just overwhelmed with just did you hear the math just did yes because the way to not be overwhelmed us to have a plan to eat the elephants you elephant abide at a time and you're overwhelmed because there's an elephant standing in front of you called eighty thousand is large with a debt one hundred thousand dollar mortgage retirement three big. Things called an elephant right. So what are we going to do well. We're a family apart from the fact that you you physically are suffering and hurting with these thing ailments but apart from that your family that makes inaccessible one hundred thousand dollars and would continue to make an excessive one hundred thousand dollars in illinois and you can pay off debt. Pay off your mortgage and build some wealth. I i mean you've got ten fifteen years or more to do that. Of your husband's working life left and so you know i think this is very renewable. Are are you gonna end up worth ten million dollars. Oh i doubt it unless something changes in the story but they can change <hes> but but i think you can move towards awards disability if that's truly where you are now. You're you're psychologist is not a medical doctor. Neither am i so you need to talk to one about whether you're disabled or not. <hes> i don't no no. I assume you are based on what you're saying okay but if you just run if you just run that idea to ground and you say okay i'm going to start the process of permanent permanent disability which is going to involve part time work and a disability income from the government in addition to my husband's ninety thousand dollars. We're going to get on that budget and we're gonna work through through eighty thousand dollars worth of debt just like we were before because really doesn't change your equation but about twenty grand a year oh mm-hmm so you're making. You're making fifty seven if you make <hes> thirty on disability and another ten that's forty. That's seventeen thousand dollars difference. It's so if it's twenty seven it's still you still are gonna. You're gonna be fine because your husband has a really good income and you will still have some some income coming in. It's not like you're going from fifty seven zero so <hes> that's my point i. I think if that's the way this is going to unfold then <hes> you're gonna be fine. Oh and by the way can take a year to get there so you're gonna make fifty seven this year one more year in this equation and you're gonna make that much more progress in the <hes> process so applying for disability. I don't think means you just have to quit. I don't know how you need to check on that. Find out exactly what the process is to to be declared by your medical physician disabled not your psychologist and <hes> and then have that done in such a way that you will be approved for your government s._s._i. <hes> which you know when you turn sixty five you would convert that just to social security at that point and again your husband husband is going to work from now probably seventy. Most people do these days and <hes> you guys are going to be just fine. These numbers work. You're going to be okay open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five marshes on facebook. I retired at fifty five by selling off. Some stock was able to pay off my house and my car. I have no other debt. What goals should i set now for my money marsha. There's three things that money is good for it. It is good for living giving and investing for the future. The future includes your continued vineyard retirement with dignity and <hes> changing your family tree so <hes> you know generosity. I'm gonna have fun with money the on generosity i'm gonna have fun with money by enjoying it and some people that means you're buying a painting others means travel others. There's means close. Others means classic cars. I don't care you enjoy a portion of your money. You give with outrageous generosity that will bring you great enjoyment joint and you change your family tree by continuing to invest and continue to do that always if you do those three. Everything's with money. Whether you're six or eighty six you will be having you have built a proper plan for your money promised they believed one of mountain or two of them out and then they get in trouble so live it. Give it and invest it to change your family tree. This is the dave ramsey. Show uh hey folks cut the cord on long term contracts and save big on on your monthly bills by switching your cell phone service to pure talk u._s._a. I'm a huge fan of these guys. Pure talk u._s._a. Has the same great coverage with half the price of other brands and no contracts switching to pure talk is a great way to save money. Stay on budget. Try it risk-free today visit pure talk u._s._a. Dot com or call eight four four eight six to thirty six seventy seven enter promo code ramsey and receive fifty percent off your first month. That's pure talk u._s._a. Dot com promo promo code ramsey uh well well. It is appropriate that the very first guest in the new ramsey studios that is a non ramsey personality but almost like a ramsey faculty member without the personality doctor. The henry cloud is with us author of the book boundaries which is one of my favorite books ever written matter of fact several of his book necessary endings integrity <hes> the power of the other <hes> some of my favorite books one of my favorite writers one of my favorite guys a good friend is with us he speaks often at our smart conferences and you seem around round our stuff all the time and drop by town dropped by here in nashville to hang out and our very first guest and your family but your very very i guessed it is it is so cool to be here. I gotta tell you gotta. Come see this place. You know if you're getting near nashville you gotta come. It is so beautiful day on so happy happy for you guys and how blessed gel are and how you bless him. It is so cool well. Thank you thank you. I appreciate it. We're we're like a kid. It's christmas morning around here every day right now. It'll wear off eventually a little about it may not wear off but the public starts coming in later this week we opened up the doors and <hes> it's gonna be fun to see their interaction and reaction reaction to all of this stuff so our new location <hes> here in franklin tennessee <hes> you can look it up. It's pretty easy you just hit google maps and put in ramsey ramsey headquarters dave ramsey show. It'll show up. We've got all set up with them in the eye apple map. If you use that one too it works on that so henry cloud wrote the book boundaries. I read the book years years ago. I was completely gaga. Over the book loved the book harding speak at a distance <hes> before i was doing anything like this and just huge at mirer and and <hes> since then over the last almost twenty years we've been good friends and i got in the know henry and he sold over fifteen million books two. Who may you know boundaries so done. Radio shows speaking all over america works with corporate america so you guys got a new project called boundaries dott me. Let's talk about that yeah. Well you know the whole boundaries saying. It's a path right you you you gotta learn you gotta learn the concepts but then we have to walk that out and so what i want to do is build a coach people and become their boundaries coach in so you gotta boundaries dot me and you sign up and i'm i'm going to become your coach over time and there's all sorts of content assignments and tips and in groups you can join people that struggle the same issues you do. It's really been fun really been fun very cool by the way if you wanna talk to dr cloudy he's gonna be with us for a couple of segments and if you've got questions about boundaries will open up some phone lines right now the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two five and <hes> kellyanne clear that up and we can talk about boundaries or whatever so basically basically you're going to be able with boundaries dot made. You're gonna actually get in. There and coach folks yeah. I'm gonna i'm gonna show up on your screen and we knew if you go in there right now and you join. There's there's there's over sixty courses that are available to you a different context like you know deal. And what are you doing the narcissistic entitled person. What do you do with controlling relationship relationship. You know if someone's narcissistic and controlling. I guess you have to go in and learn you wake up and hate your day because you're interact interact with exactly the way the way you know that. Is you increasingly part of it. Is you increasingly find that this relationship is is taking from you much more than is mutual <hes> and you're you're feeling more like an object you know than a person and nurses narcissist arses the there are no relationships all transactional. It's all about what you can. Their takers still givers. They are takers instead of givers and you know we're weird. Weird designed to give one of the the if you do the happiness research. You'll get all the research serving done. The happiest people are givers. The problem is that a a lotta givers get in relationships with controlling and irresponsible people and they're not real they're giving but they're not really giving. They're giving in and that doesn't lead to joy. You're being used and that's where boundaries really help you get in control of your life so you can actually give to the people did either needed or deserve it. There's something in my wife's childhood that when she says that i'm failing used when we're talking about relationships yeah where with with another group of people people are another individual when she says that the way she says it that it's visceral us yes that word used is not a good good thing. She's not rasi oven column blessed right. No it's not you want. You're on that list. You don't want to be on that one but you know what she's she's speaking from the deepest part of her heart and she said she's in touch with the way that we are designed and we're designed to know when when we're being used abused or when we're being taken from or when we're being controlled or or trespassed against and the problem is what one of my favorite bowel versus is in hebrews says that solid food is for the mature who through practice have had their senses trained to discern good from evil now what you're talking about <music> out there is she senses. She feels it something dynamic. Here's some dynamics going on. That doesn't feel good. It's not right and everybody has a little button but they get talked out of it and people use skill to manipulation and anger to talk out of their senses now and i you know i hear christian lingo thrown at that <hes>. You're not supposed to judge me right and i always say yes. I am right because it's scriptural to judge you. Well judge these spirits. That's right and people don't don't make the distinction between you're not supposed to be the judge like guide in sentence since people can dim them right but we are supposed to evaluate ongoing the people in our lives. He had psalm one on one. David is a whole list of the kind of people that he's not gonna. Tolerate the arrogant the narcissist the proud the liars the faithless he says i'm not going to have anything to do with them and then he says he says is the good people that i will allow to minister to me. He chooses his relationships now and and there's an amazing thing that happened i mean there's a that's mental health wellness and a spiritual health wholeness. It comes with that and there's a correlation between people who learn to do that without being angry about it right but just say no <hes> you know setting boundaries. I'm not going to allow all you to do this in my presence or to me or around me and i'm gonna. I'm gonna distance myself from you. If you're gonna do that. The more you do do that and the more you gather good people the opposite around you <hes> the more you're successful in every area. Whether it's your parenting your marriage or money your career career it affects your ability to walk away from this trash and toxicity <hes> it opens up success in every area amazing. It's treasure trove. It is a treasure trove. You know the the original boundary spoke we talk about the your boundaries of property line and so you got got a property line in within that properties like a house or your apartment within that property line are your treasures. You know that's the good stuff <hes> and so you lock doc the door and then you open the door. Let good people in are you. Open the door to to give to good people or or to bring good things in your life but if a thief shows it was <hes> you lock the door and that starts a whole new path of having everything about your heart your mind you're so able to invest in a whole different path and good people start to show up because you're not attracting flies. You know if you don't have boundaries you will. You'll actually attract user's unique. You put off an aura your body language voice tone everything it says victim looking for a place to happen through executive and you know what you can go to a party and just if somebody is you know extremely codependent in drawn to destructive relationships that user across across the room. It's like they recognize each other and they and then they they just go down that path again until you wake up and you can't wake up. Yes you can wake makeup. The doctor henry cloud is with us author of fifteen million books have been sold lives over in los angeles. Stop by our first guest on the ramsey show in ramsey new the ramsey studios <hes> hang around. He's gonna take your calls right now. The phone number is triple eight eight to five five to five. If you got boundaries questions checkout boundaries boundaries dot me and sign up where you can get a personal coach and all kinds of lessons to learn about these things so boundary questions this questions for dr clouds coming up next year all the dave ramsey show. The reason study showed that over fifty percent of people think that the the cost of term life insurance is triple what it actually costs. This must be why so many people still don't take care of this crucial responsibility. Trust me term. Life rates are just plain cheap and it costs nothing to get a quote. The only place i trust and personal use zander insurance call eight hundred three five six forty two eighty two or visit zander dot com. It's more affordable than you think and you need to get this done. That's zander dot com over fifteen million books sold docker henry cloud probably best known for the book boundaries but that could depend and on whether you ran into it so certainly necessary endings has become a standard around here <hes> boundaries and a lot of course you're in writing ties together. I mean the power of the other the integrity necessary endings they all have a thread through them all the way from boundaries and so <hes> you can check out all all of the materials and and <hes> hundreds of lessons and <hes> you know develop a personal coach on the boundaries issue at boundaries dot me me. Just go check it out. Give it a cruise look at it. Take it protester shoot. You think boundaries dot me. It's life changing life giving material all right right up a couple of calls. Let's do it all right. Chris is whether it's in illinois. Hi chris welcome to the dave ramsey show. Hey thanks for for having me on <hes>. Dr clouds certainly appreciate everything you've done. <hes> social media big fan on their <hes>. I basically have a situation where <hes> <hes> in trying to follow some of the things that you've put out. I have a adult sister who married someone that has a number of anger issues o._c._d. Things of that nature and it's really rubbed off on her and pass for years. She's basically just kind of blown up going off. The edge and my family is tried to work work with her on this. My parents flew from the midwest out to the east coast to try and deal with this and champ to literally slam the door she she has the anger no cd or the guy she's married. Take the guy she's married to does and it's slowly rubbed off on her. Yeah <hes> to the point of where christmas time for years ago my parents went through a long separation or and <hes> christmas time for years ago. <hes> she just became hypercritical of every little thing my mom would do and and kicked her out of the house and on christmas and my mom's like well all right. I'm fine home. I'm not gonna sit here and deal with this and then for four years just some really vile all stuff and this has never been the person she she is calling my mom and threatening physical violence and <hes> you know yeah my parents flew out there and just they didn't want to reason and i finally got through some of your directions said or into <hes> my brother-in-law listen you know the way that you guys choose to deal with mom and dad is is is between you but as for me i'm not taking a step further until you want to sit down and speak rationally in person and <hes> i haven't heard from him since so just really you know to see someone that was so mild mannered becomes so angry and vile and verbally violent <hes>. We're just kind of <hes>. <hes> you know we put it all in god's hands at this point because that's really all we can do. How old is she. <hes> forty one forty one so nothing like listener history at all nothing the most mild mannered i used to have to order cheeseburgers for mcdonald's when she was a kid growing up and just has made a complete complete one eighty yeah a lot of times you you will see if somebody's you know that passive for that long. Sometimes it's like you see this big a pendulum shift and all of a sudden the inner inner terrorist sort of shows <hes> but the thing i'm concerned about with her is you're. You're saying that this happens in a context of of a relationship you know if you've got a lot of anger and i don't know how severe those ideas but that can really spill over for it to where she may be feeling like a captive you know because and because his his issues or are sort of you know cornering cornering her that could be adding to the anger but i'm really concerned. You know when you hear somebody threatening violence <hes> i would. I would take a hard look at that because you know you don't know what's going on it. It could be biochemical. She could be headed for a psychotic depression. Ya ah for somebody that at a character to threaten violence <hes> i would look at probably the family trying to take some steps to you may be called a good psychiatrist in her area and meet with him or her and say here's what's going on. Describe it and what can the family do to try to step in in at least be whether you call it intervention or whatever be abridged getting her some help because because the way you're describing this is on a regressive path that i would try to contain and put some limits around so that was not just awesome. Paul is you're saying until you can behave stay away. Well no it's not <hes> and and i understand why he did that and that's good but while you're doing that she's she's. She's also in a closed system. It sounds like that's not moving upward and and i would be concerned about that as a family now ultimately you know you try to your treatment. You try to bridge the treatment. You try to do everything he can and sometimes ultimately the family does have to say look. You know that's all we can do breath but i'm concerned about the the sort of acute onset of this in in in a context i would probably look at it pretty closely coup dr trainor cloud with us open phones at triple eight five five two two five charlotte is with us in wyoming hi charlotte. How are you while doing pretty good day. Thank you so much for taking my call sure question for dr cloud hi dr cloud. We have a situation here. We just <hes> went and dan got my step father. In law. He's been diagnosed with a terminal illness. <hes> was bed bound for six weeks without us knowing and has been given eight to twelve weeks to lip so he'd been estranged. Promise for twenty years of marriage that my husband and i have been together because of alcoholism we are pretty much the only family that's paid any attention attention to him so we dropped everything and went and picked him up and have had a move in with us <hes> but in the middle of all this that cost us a pretty significant amount of money about three thousand thousand dollars there were in the middle baby step two and i just wanna know boundaries wise of the first boundary said of course was no alcohol in the house <hes> and he's he's pretty much bound to that but having financial discussions is that fair to kind of talk with him about his money that's coming in and what expectations are with us like a rental <music> agreement that kind of thing and he's got helena live eight to twelve weeks and he has a monthly income about thirty three hundred dollars with three hundred dollars of expenses expenses. I assume he has no assets. He has no assets he has nothing and so. We're just trying to be wise with him up. Cremation also the expenses incurred but also having compassion and love and his last days in how rational is he completely and connecting with you and receiving your help or fighting it or is he cooperative. He's receiving our help. <hes> he's more attached to the animals than he is to the family which i'm assuming a lot of that has to do with the previous alcoholic youth and he's grateful for it but he's i just want to know not filing us at all. I just don't want to overstep bounds inappropriately really insane hayes. It costs us a lot to come. Get you but still cover ourselves. We have four kids on going to college this fall and just trying to be wise yeah. Well well certainly you you lead with a compassionate. I don't see anything wrong with having just you know when when when the indus coming there's nothing wrong with with having a just a compassionate discussion about you know. There's we don't know when it's coming but as you know is going to be pretty listen and <hes> we need to know how to help you take care of your money. We need to know how to take care of some of these. The expenses in we'd like to talk to you about you know how to do that. I don't that's compassionate and i think it'd be easy to say <hes> personally thirty three hundred dollars. A month for three months is barely going to cover a funeral right and so we need a bank your check to prepare for your and expenses of taking care of you. You know we're taking care of you while you're live but we also need to. We wanna help with you. Know your final care your final finally trenches and so you know basically you know. We're not gonna charge you anything for living here but we're going to take you. We want you to take your entire check. I can set it in an account for your final expenses. If there's any leftover after finally says we will collect that as our rent but really. I think you're probably gonna burn this money. If you're if your dates and times are right mathematically you're not gonna have any big money income to you now. If you have barely funeral yeah that sound like a compassion you do in the in the courts your normal discussion exactly docker cloud. The website is boundaries. Dot me be sure and check it out guys. Thanks for stopping bob brother. Hey it's good to be congratulations on the whole new headquarters. It's really beautiful. I guessed at you baby about. This is the dave ramsey. Show <music> peyton is with us in louisiana payden. Welcome to the dave ramsey. Show hi dave thanks for taking my call sure <hes> well my wife and i we are on <hes> baby step number two right now. I work in outside sales and cover about three states and we travel a lot in a company truck right now. <hes> that's that's that's paid for by the company and they paper you know gas and insurance all the above <hes> my wife and i are really anxious about paying off our student loans but we have learned that these company trucks maybe taken away pretty soon. Maybe by the end of the year we don't know how much asia they're going to give a stipend and mileage and things to help cover our own vehicles <hes> but we don't know all the details on that right now. Basically basically we've got about seventy five hundred dollars set aside and we don't know if we should be saving up to purchase a vehicle in cash like like we like to or if we should be putting that money onto loans and just wait and see how it plays out. There's just so many unknowns that we didn't want to be caught off guard well the higher the probability that you're gonna lose the truck the higher the probability. I'm stopping your debt snowball and getting ready to buy a truck right definitely getting taken away. Oh it is definitely not one hundred percent. Yes sir okay and you. Do you know your time la hundred percent percent by the end of the year. I don't know exactly time line. We have just assuming it's gonna be the end of the year. Maybe the beginning of next year why do use there's just rumors around the company room. Okay not someone you can ask them and just say hey. I gotta start saving money. Can you give me a date that this is going down i have i've asked everyone that i possibly can in the company and apparently even my manager and his boss doesn't really know a time line right. Now wow okay so. How many miles are you putting on truck a year <hes> well. We're putting about forty five thousand a year. We all right so regardless of the stipend. You're either going to <hes> via truck and drive at fifty thousand miles a year or or you're gonna quit this job right. I mean they're either gonna give you. They give you two dollars or they give you two thousand dollars. A month. Really isn't going to change your a decision. I i'm guessing right yeah. That's about right. I guess you might what do you make a year. <hes> well you know get paid eight a salary and commission but somewhere around seventy a year ago unless you're willing to walk away from his job because the stipends not big enough. We've simply got to get ready for this so i would stop everything everything okay. You're not in baby steps to if you have seven thousand five hundred dollars baby step two is one thousand dollars and everything else is on the debt okay so you're you're already. You're already not on baby. Step two so anyway. Just stop everything and let's just pile up cash and get ready to buy a truck by by the end of the year and as soon as you have enough in your account to buy the truck that you're thinking of then you would stop saving so your wife makes what a year well. She works part time she makes about fourteen an hour. So <hes> yes somewhere around eighteen thousand a year okay all right and so you've got a ninety thousand dollar household income give or take and <hes> so you keep that in mind the other thing you keep in mind is this this truck purchase has nothing nothing to do with anything except getting the job done you are going to destroy the value of whatever you buy because of the miles you put on it. The question is how much. How many hundred dollar bills do you wanna. Take a torch and allied on fire because every dollar you put in this truck. That's what you're doing with it. That's exactly right so you need to buy a good truck because you're putting a lot of miles on so you've got. It's gotta be reliable. 'cause you've got to get to these jobs and it's got to be reasonably comfortable. Okay now now trucks a truck. You're going to get what you get comfort so it's not like we're all over the map here but you're not you don't need a thirty thousand dollar truck to do this. You don't don't really need a twenty thousand dollar truck to do this right because whatever you buy your just lighting that money on fire now. I think ten thousand dollars might be a little lacking. I might be a little bit worried about putting fifty thousand miles on that puppy and not expecting it to lay down at some point and causing me to miss an appointment and i don't want want that so somewhere between ten and fifteen is my guess and based on your income. You've already got seven thousand five hundred. If you said fifteen is my budget <hes> <hes> and i'm going to replenish this account <hes> after i get out of debt real quickly because i'm going to have to buy another truck every so often just two years. We have two years from now. You're going to put one hundred thousand miles on this thing. Yeah that's exactly right and that's our concern and we've been listening to you a little bit to your vice vice in the past has been to buy you know if they have a year model set by that you're modeling sewn every year yup and don't waste your money on a new car so definitely take that advice and <hes> when they start setting a year model if they if they set that year model to hi <hes> i'm gonna push back on that decision back back to management or because basically they are dictating that you are burning more one hundred dollar bills. That's right exactly right and so i'm i'm gonna. I'm gonna stand pretty strong on that because the only reason they set a year model is not well the main reason they said it is so you don't get caught with something some hoop dee in when you're on the side of the road okay and can get your job done. That's the main reason they said it now. Some of these corporate google's set a year model because they're all worried about the prestige of their employees. Whichever whichever that frequent worried about it don't cancel the company car policy but y- you know so just but that's just you know. Let me just tell you. This is not gonna be a raise for you. This is going to be a net malware that no matter unless they give you two thousand dollars a month which they're not gonna do. This is going to be a net loss for you. They're probably gonna come at you with six or seven hundred bucks a month and act like that's a big deal and that means you're you're. You're you're taking a pay cut. Uh on this decision most likely so anyway. Let's get the truck bought then. Let's work. Maybe push play again on our total money makeover thousand dollars dollars in the account work baby step to get out of debt and then re up your truck ever so often <hes> and just part of your monthly budget as you pay yourself a car our payment especially after get baby step two to replenish and purchase on a you know a truck. Every couple of years is what you're going to want to do so by alot mile fifteen thousand and plan to buy another one in two years and that thing's gonna have gone down. It's going to have gone at least in half if not more during that two years <hes> <hes> based on putting another hundred thousand miles on your hundred fifteen dollars truck into six or seven thousand dollar truck probably depending on equipment what you buy what the market does all that stuff but that's probably about about where you are so good question man appreciate you being a listener open phones at triple eight eight to five five to vise beginning cars erica's on twitter. My the car needs a new engine. Should i get another car or pay six thousand dollars on a credit card to fix it. I don't have the cash to do either. Actually well you could sell the car as is and get salvage for it. <hes> first thing i would do is get another opinion or two why who said you needed another engine. And why do you need another engine. I'm not sure you need another engine. I'm not sure i believe this. Diagnosis might be a repairs in order on a car like this. No no we're not putting six thousand dollars for an engine cars probably not worth that that'd be my guess based on this tweet anyway so <hes> <hes> no you sell the salvage and you buy a hoop dee and you start again and you pay cash every time you move up and you draw a line in the sand and say i'm never having another car payment again again. In my life now another possibility is after you get a good diagnosis and you really do believe from a good mechanic or three that you really do need to replace the engine. If you're dealing with an old car an old used car you can buy a salvage used engine from the salvage yard the junkyard and have a mechanic against by it and install it for you and that would be a lot less than six thousand dollars a lot less so check that idea out as well erica erica. We appreciate you follow us on twitter that puts this hour of the dave ramsey show in the books. I think james childs our producer and kelly daniel associate position asian phone screener. I'm dave ramsey. Your host and we'll be back. Um hum. James childs as producer of the dave ramsey show. Did you know you can now listen to the dave ramsey show on ken dora an spotify for all the ways to watch and listen check out our show page at daveramsey ramsey dot com slash show if you're looking for fun and practical ways to to save money in your everyday life. You need to check out the rachel cruze show a podcast from money expert and my daughter rachel cruze guys. It's rachel cruze and i'm so excited to tell you about high podcast. A lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. They're n debt. They don't even know where to begin but they have this need want to get in control of their money and if that it's you you have come to the right spot so in each episode during a ton of inspiration and practical advice if not subscribed to the rachel cruze show podcast gassed hear more from the ramsey network including the rachel cruze show wherever you listen to podcasts hey it's james producer of the dave ramsey show. This episode is over but check the episode notes for links to products and services. You've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.