Intelligence Vs. Wisdom, the Stories We Tell Ourselves, and Staying Above the Noise During the Holidays| ASK ME ANYTHING
You're a man of action you live life to the fullest compress your fears and boldly charge your own path when life knocks you down. You get back up one more time. Every time you are not easily deterred rugged zillion strong this is your life this we are. This is who you will become at the end of the day and after all is said and done you can call yourself a man. I had a coach in high school. He used to say need to know the difference between being hurt who injured. You can play her. You can't play agent and so you know you can see. I got a little cut right there. You say on the back of my head. You've got a little black guy there. I i was gonna tell you before. I hit record that i actually since i was in high school. I liked the scars. Man i liked it the knicks and the dings and the bangs and the guy. I like all that stuff. Because it means that you're living imagine walking around and you felt one hundred percent. Like how shitty would you feel if you felt one hundred percent totally well someone onto facebook group for the on the order of facebook group. He he said something about. I've been working out. Reg- it religiously. And i'm always store. How do i stop awesome happening. And my response was. I love being sore like i love having a great workout in the next day. My chest is super tie. Like i i do so wrong. Yeah i actually look forward to it. It doesn't help with consulting. sometimes i i remember. I had a client in phoenix. A went down there day one. I'm working that night. Found a local jujitsu. Jim and trained super hard and i got a really bad black. I like it was puffy. Swollen is just really really really really bad one and the next day i went back to that client site. No one asked any questions whatsoever. Nobody even that's weird. No because because i who knows what story. They're having right. It's like all mad last night. He's got no fight. Yeah i don't know. I would wanna know i'd be like awesome black. I like tell me. Tell me this story. I got a story here. Nobody asks you millet. Ask and i felt awkward. Gone ignore the black guy. I did that eventually. Because everyone kept like i could tell. People are distracted there. Like by like i m so then i start looking to do smart. Yeah i wouldn't. I would use that. Man i would. I bet she business with them though. Yeah yeah yeah. We did business with them. So i know it wasn't because your sales skills. So i had it been something else up for not definitely not anyways man. I like the injuries i got. I got an issue with my pinky right now. I don't know if it's like. I don't know what's going on with it. It's like it's weird. I don't know if it's dislocated or i don't know what i'm like. This is awesome. It's like two times bigger than it should be. And i love it like it should. That's how it should. That's how a man's hand. Look you know so i have no problem with it at all but the worst and in this has happened to me yesterday. I think it's because i took a week off and your skin kinda get sensitive at you. Done that where you'd take a week off and you come back and all sudden you're losing skin all over the place like your fee or losing skin because one thing we actually yes. Yes totally one thing. We just started doing over the past couple of weeks training in the evenings nogi and my knees are raw dude like the tops of my feet and my toes. They're good they're solid because i've been training for almost two years now in geese lick. They're good but i was trying to get my knees and shins are just raw. Because i feel like he's running on this thomas. Yeah for sure yeah yeah. I am not exaggerating at all. Both of my feet have probably like an inch spaces of no skin and my one foot has about four of them and my left foot has to and i trained. I trained on friday. And i got all those in one training session and you don't think about it when you train and then you walk up to the shower and you're like oh shitting saint-famille yeah you see like just like burning or whatever i get out of the shower and i'm out of that. Bandaids in my bag. Some like No so i just you just slide your socks on and go to work socks and just rob and then you go home. And you're ready to take the socks off and you just sorta leading again like more of the story. Dobrich out on training for any reason at all. So it'll you get soft last night so we trained last night and my wife was out of town. Choose picking up her sister. Who's visiting this weekend. I had my four kids. And i was like nah. I'm not gonna training because that's pretty convenient. Excuse right like were kids like the kids. Yeah i mean. I'm doing this what we call noble obstacles because you're actually doing the right thing but they're obstacles because you're using it as an excuse to keep you from doing what you should be doing something not an. I'm not doing that. I'm bringing them so them last night and him just be respectful. Just hang out in the corner and yeah. I jetted a little bit earlier. But i was proud that i got my training in with the four kids like hearing him scream and they were strangling each other. And i'm like but i got the training. It's all good. it's good. it's good for him to see it like that. That's normal yeah. It's good for them to see me. Give i ask handed to me actually like because that's really what training consists of for me. It's like it's not even even know if you'd call it training as much as just getting your ass kicked and so they're watching daegu and get like show to get my arm. Bent the wrong way and get up dude again. I have no ego at this point with jujitsu. I don't i don't and that's probably gonna get more and more so. But i don't know i just go in there and just expect that it's going to be painful and occasionally i might you know by the grace of god or the jujitsu gods or whoever it is get something that actually semblances a some sort of martial art and but outside of ashes to bunch of flailing around survival survival. That's what it is for. Sure all right man. Well let's get to some questions. We got some good ones today. Oh yeah i was gonna say it's good to see you too. It's been like two months. We actually did a podcast together. I know precisely man. Yeah it's you know how it is. It's fun you know what i mean. It's always valuable. Read these questions and think and put yourself in check when you respond to a question and in the back your head going. Yep i needed to do the hat better. So isn't that on people. Tell me that is. What makes you the expert like bro. Fueling new whenever. I make a post or my comment. I'm not even talking to you talking to myself. You need to do this because you are screwing things up so people are thinking. I'm talking to them. I'm not guys. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to myself. And you happen to just be listening to our conversations with ourselves and what we know we should be doing. You know yeah. Yeah it's like an internal dialogue in the morning of what we need to work on. Its journal man. Like i look at social media like that it's journal. I'll post something on instagram or twitter. Wherever and and guys like this is such a great thought. This is exactly neon. Like really like the only reason i wrote. It is because this is the same thing. I was dealing with eighteen hours earlier. And this is like my answer to myself like do this thing and you'll be better. Yeah said that. In the past which i really appreciated is i'm marketing to myself. I'm grabbing the things that interests me that i need and i'm just regurgitate in them. And a whole lot of guys that are in the same boat as you so it works. I mean we had a guy today. He posted something on a post that i had made in our facebook group about the podcast. I did yesterday with nikki blue and he said something like oh what makes this guy the expert or something like that. And i'm like he's done an expert and you didn't claim to be an expert. I'm not an expert as claim to be an expert. All i'm a man. And i have a desire to be better and so that's it period end of story full stop. There's nothing else outside of that. That makes either one of us qualified to tell you what you should do. These are just things that have worked for us and if you want to embrace them cool and if you don't and you think being a man means something else run on get after it. The best truly do and so many. I mean how much of being an expert is just the ability to regurgitate information. That you've retained through some other means you know that's actually that's a positive look on it. I think most experts you know that they're just saying things that make them sound important. You know it's like these people. I actually so one guy comes off. Hand is jordan peterson. ver- obviously very very intelligent. When he speaks you can almost see him thinking that. That's how i look at it. When i when i hear him speak. I think to myself this guy's just thinking out loud. He's obviously very intelligent. But one of the unintended consequences is that because he's smart and the way that he communicates really to himself but he just vocalise his thoughts to himself. That's the best way. I can explain it. People have begun to think that. If i just use big fancy words this somehow people think i'm i'm special or i'm intelligent and you have like these. These comments that. I see a lot on instagram and twitter. And they're using these words. I'm like i don't even know what in the world you're trying to say like i. Actually i legitimately have to have. The dictionary pulled up when i'm trying to decipher what it is. You're trying to say in it's weird. I don't know if it's because people want to make others believe they're smarter than they actually are. I mean you. And i are dumb southern utah town. Rednecks like maybe. That's that's an issue. That only you and i have a problem. Only what's he's saying and everybody else's you don't get this. I'm like no. I don't i have no idea what he's saying right now. Yeah i pronounce words wrong all the time but but i really think like 'cause i had this conversation with with my wife quite a bit. We have a lot of people in our in our circles. That are what. I would classify as intellectuals right. Yes yes very well educated. Very well-spoken but have lacked serious progress and success in life and use that as an analogy to kind of remind my wife that there's a major difference be from being intellectually smart in being wise and the older. I get the more i look back at my upbringing. The more i look back at my dad. That's a drop out of college dairy farmer and i started going. There's probably more wisdom on that side of the street that i've been given it credit for and just because i was able to memorize something out of a book and regurgitate. It never learned how to apply. It doesn't make you successful and it does. I know so many people that are so well educated and had zero success in life or smart doesn't even make you smart. Your college diploma doesn't make smarter. Yeah yeah so it's very. I don't know it's funny. How our society has kind of latched onto certain things to define you as like successful. But but they don't translate and listen to. I think you're dead on with that. I've listened to people especially in southern utah and we had the benefit of growing up with these ranchers for example. And this is what. I'm about to say as not to diminish ranching in it by any means but there is a matters. I didn't even know how to listen to a pot. They don't even know what it's not listening. So you know you don't you wouldn't consider this. This quintessential rancher as this highly educated individual and yet the way they say things and the way they view life is and i can't even think of anything right hand but they'll just say one little punchy sentencing you're like holy shit man you just unlock the key to life like do you realize how powerful that one statement is. And they're like what the hell you're talking about. I just. I was just castrating account earlier. And i love it. Man because truth and wisdom can be found everywhere and sometimes. It's often found a lot of the times. I think it's often found in places that we wouldn't traditionally be led to believe that you can find it there you know between the legs of a cow's your castrating cower or on a hunt as you're you're gutting a dear you know and so we got look for those things outside of academia because i think there's a lot of wisdom to be found about life that doesn't exist inside the walls of universities. Yeah and when we look at life from a stoic perspective. It's all about preparing for death and living a good life and academia doesn't really help in that area at all so i think i think it does so long as you apply it. You know. it's like yeah it's the old adage that that that I can't even think of the term right offhand. But you know not knowledge some people say well knowledge is power right. Knowledge is power when applied. That's that's the full thought process knowledge alone power. It's it's it's powerful when it's applied so if i look at for example a medical doctor and this doctor has a degree and he spent eight to ten years in formal education and then he goes out and applies it. I think my buddy jaren levitt for example he. He's he's an obgyn and he's going out and applying and he loves his life is practice. He loves delivering babies and bringing babies in the world. And mike okay will. This is knowledge applied is not just education it's actual knowledge applied. And that's what makes it powerful I see what you're saying. Yeah and and i was kinda thinking. More from the area of like fulfillment right like something that transcends our jobs something that transcends are education know an and it's more about relationships and experiences and fulfillment and purpose and look i think it why from stoicism than we would from learning something you know in general but agreed and i think that's why some of the most intelligent people that i know or had interactions with are also some of the most miserable because they're not applying the information they have these amazing degrees and they have this this incredible access to information and knowledge. And they're just not applying it and so it's a little bit like you know in a way you know being on a treadmill or an elliptical right like. You're still moving. You're still getting the job done kind of you're still exercising your muscles but you're not getting anywhere you know that and so imagine instead of being on a treadmill actually go for a run. What are you going to experience. What are you going to see. Who are you going to interact with. What thoughts are you going to have in your mind. How does the cold feel on your body or if it starts to rain and you're miserable. Do you push through and so the treadmill and the elliptical our simulation of reality. It's like no actually go out and experience but it's cold. Yeah that's actually the point. It's gold the point is that that's real life and that you're gonna have to experience hardship and deal with that and overcome that and work through it. That's actually why a one of the reasons. I like Andy for seventy five hard is because one of the workouts per day is supposed to be done outdoors. Rain snow sunshine. Whatever may be last year. As i was doing it and i know this because we're starting to get newer cold season here is. I was literally tromping around in the snow while it was snowing. And i was just like completely bundled up and yet it was significantly more rewarding and fulfilling being out there in the snow pushing through something that i know. A lot of people just wouldn't do because it wasn't extremely comfortable. I wasn't climate controlled. The ovation wasn't perfect. It wasn't perfect temperature. But that's what made it more rewarding and more fulfilling even those infinitely harder. Yeah should we answer some questions today. I don't know. I don't we call and trying to wonder if we should call it like instead of an ask me anything. It's like. just shut up and listen. Don't ask questions just lists the ramblings of ramblings that's right. Yeah i mean we could talk about. You know what we should do one day. Maybe we can do this one days we could. We could answer every single question with jujitsu reference. And that's all like this jujitsu. Ask me anything and so anything anybody asks. We always tie it back into jujitsu except in a meaningful way and you should have been way making stupid things. Yeah yeah that'd be hard. Yeah anyone that that would be hard. It would not be at all right. We're doing that next. We're doing the jujitsu. Ask me anything. And that doesn't mean have to ask questions about jiu jujitsu just means you have to ask your normal question. And then we'll answer from jujitsu frame of reference. There we go. i love. That's next may iron council questions should do it. Yeah i'm ready mad. Let's do it okay. All right let's do all right so we're filling these questions from the iron council. that's our exclusive brotherhood. That's part of the order of man movement to learn more go to order man dot com slash. Aren't counsel john. Larosa building healthy copying mechanisms to replay shitty ones cop coping sloping. This is what we're talking. I your southern utah. Draw when you say something. I'm like guys. Let me let me just tell you so for those of you who weren't born and raised in southern utah. I'll go ahead and translate kip Responses for you coping mechanisms. Say it again. His coatings building building healthy coping mechanisms to replace shitty ones. It's tough on this one. Because i don't know what you're coping with necessarily but in a very right. Yeah it might. But i think generally like let's zoom out right here. I think generally. I would say and i'm going to actually pull a page from your book. Kip on this one is what meaning have you assigned your experience. So if you've and. I'm just thinking out loud here. I don't know if this is john situation. But let's say you were sexually abused or you've gone through divorce or you lost a job or you had to deal with medical condition or you had to declare bankruptcy. I mean any number of things that could have happened. I think what most guys will naturally do myself. Included will think to themselves initially. Why is this happening to me. What is shitty situation. This is happening to me if only get passed these couple of things. If it weren't for bad look at have no luck at all and so we assign that automatically assume that this is a negative situation. I had a guy on the facebook group today. In fact he said that he was having he feels broken. He used the term. I broke and he's going through a separation which is leading to divorce. It looks like and he says i'm broken. I said brother you're not broken man like during a tough situation. But i'll tell you what even during my own Separation with my wife which fortunately it did work out for us. It doesn't always but that was a cathartic moment for me. That was an opportunity for me to get right to fix them. Things that we're gonna check and without that moment in time and it was just a moment you guys would not be listening to this podcast. There's no way. I would be a financial advisor still and i'd be making a moderate income and i'd be mildly happy. I'd be a mediocre husband and wife and that would be my life like a lot of guys are but instead i use that moment in time and and decided that this was happening for me and what was i going to do to make myself better not in spite of the situation but because of the situation you know like how can you improve so whether you're going through a bankruptcy or some some past trauma whatever it may be instead of saying. Why did this happen to me. If only my life was better in only. I didn't go through that situation than i would be dot dot dot instead. Start thinking to yourself. Why did this happen to me in a positive way. Why did this happen for me. How am i better individual. Or how can i become a more capable and strong man because of this situation now. Talk about this all. The time. I grew up without a father figure. Permanent father figure my life and at the time it was miserable. I remember when My mother went through a separation and ultimate divorce. With my my last father-in-law. Excuse me stepfather. And i remember vividly thinking why does why me. Why is this happening to me. And now look back. And i'm like on a so like rate for like you internalize that separation. You know like her getting divorced like that. You felt the impact to you completely. And i thought it was against me. I older at the time. I was probably fourteen fifteen years old and so i thought i was old enough to to acknowledge or to to make the connection that this was happening to me but i look at it now and think what a what. An incredible blessing. What an incredible blessing that. I grew up without a father. I mean i would love to been connect with my father and we were connected in in a way i would love to be more deeply connected but what beautiful blessing that. I wasn't because i don't know that i would be the same father that i am to my kids. I don't and i'm happy and satisfied and fulfilled into my life is and that's an experience of all of the situations and circumstances that led up to this. So how do you cope with it. Reframe your thought process. You're thinking about it negatively after cope after deal with the situation. No this is a blessing. This is a benefit and disguise. And it's hard to see when you're in the moment. So what can you do. Surround yourself with good people. Talk with people have gone through similar circumstances and situations as you and they'll tell you they'll show you look. There's light at the end of the tunnel. You don't see it. I can see it. In fact i'm standing in the light at the end of the tunnel. And i'm going to lose him. Illuminate the path for you. So find good people tactically. I would suggest that you distract yourself when you start to get in your mind and start to go down this path that isn't good for you but ultimately realizing that this is a good thing for you. You just can't see it yet but i promise it will be a good thing for you but or not but that's entirely within your control you do have control over what the way frame this and i think as as just some people will look at and they'll look at the circumstance and say okay. Well how can me being abandoned. Let's say be good for me right. And i would even pause and say who said that. You're being abandoned and that it's because of you. There's a there's a i. I love the analogy of rose colored glasses right like we put on sunglasses and we walk around like you know. I don't know if you've done the. But i'd like that sense it so beautiful and so pretty aside and then i lift up my glasses and i'm like oh it's a little bit more doll. Look prettier with my glasses on. But i think we look through life as a lens to when certain things happen not only are be creating meaning but sometimes that means not true as i. it's not it's not even a reality. It's inevitable kip. Never yeah. But but i think really pausing and going whoa wait a second like i'm really creating something the out of nothing year and it's an matting a lot more meaning to this then what i even should you know. And it's okay to realize you're doing it But it's it's very powerful to pause and realize you are. And i don't i don't know right. I'm actually interested in your thoughts about this. As like i used to think that you could stop it. Like i used to be in that camp of like oh positive thinking and reframe your mind and in most thoughts are quote bad and. I don't think that's true. I don't think people can stop that from happening. I think people that are effective. They are able to pause and be isn't with their thought process and then to your point refocus their their thoughts elsewhere to be more constructive. But i don't think you stop that from occurring. But i i don't know what do you think i think that generally negative and toxic people or delusional so they interpret everything outside of the context that are really is and that's what i was saying earlier is that it's never objectively true. I mean there might be a situation that is objective. Like i got any. I am going through a separation but that's not usually what we're talking about usually what we're talking about is i am going through a divorce because my wife is a bitch okay. That's that's what i'm talking to that. Subjective like that is not objectively true and so when you get into these cycles of toxicity and negatively. You're you're actually being delusional. You're not operating in reality because that isn't the reality. It's your interpretation of it and there might be some validity to it. There might be some situations that makes you think that but that is not objectively true. I think the most successful people and this is actually true in an interesting context to look at this and is survivors so survivors of major events. Emergency situations natural disasters being alone being stranded. They're very realistic about their life. And their prospects. Because what was happening is is if you're overly going to be rescued. I'm going to be rescued like everything's fine you. I'm going to be rescued. And then you don't do anything about your situation and you die because the rescue doesn't come as think as quickly as you would have hoped or liked or thought the opposite of that is overly negative. Like i'm gonna die in everything's horrible and this is bad and then it becomes self fulfilling prophecy because you're not on what you can do to keep yourself alive because you've already signed away your fate but generally the people who thrive and succeed and excel are the ones who realistic. Hey this is a bad situation. And i better be prepared and i better anticipate situations and things that are coming up and then creating plans and making provisions and doing everything i can. So they're not operating from a position of delusion they're very realistic about the prospects but then they thrust themselves into the work of keeping themselves alive. I watched this show over the past couple of weeks called alone. I don't know if you've seen it a lot of guys. Probably have and they take ten or twelve contestants and they just throw mountains crazy environment. I was watching this. Arctic environment in northern canada like super far north and and they put these people out there and there was people who were overly secure in their abilities and they were out first and there's people who really negative and down and then they lost and the guy that at one happened to be somebody who was like. This is hard and this is tough. And i'm dealing with these circumstances and here's this predator that's trying to steal my food ants and he just dealt with it in reality and just fixed like each situation as it came up anyone. That's life that's life objective. Deal with what you need to deal with and drive on. And that's why. I think you interviewed john. Kerry bishop Oh always back. And that's one thing that i really got from that. Podcast interviews walks from. His book is like he talks about our expectations. And sometimes when we hold onto the the should or shouldn't be a certain way. It almost hinders us from dealing in that reality because instead of dealing with what is so right and said look bit broke and marriage we just focus on. What's her fault. And it shouldn't be this way. And i shouldn't have to deal with this and it's interesting. Just that thought process kind of like you get stuck you get stuck with holding onto what it should and should not be like and hold onto it and in almost prevents you from dealing with what is so absent. And that's what. I love so much about about his book. Because it's so powerful whether they're surviving you or your marriage or anything else. The longer we sit there and judge hitting all the shouldn't be this way. And i shouldn't have to whatever that's a hindrance from taking action and and addressing reality. Yeah absolutely cool question. So i got through talking to as part of the and i'm not used to talking to someone like you know all right dan harrison with the holidays coming up. There'll be a lot of discussions than arguments at family gathering and surrounding social political issues. What advice do you have for men on peaking battles around the dinner table. It's interesting that he chose that verbiage. When do we voice and defend opinions and wendy. We just smiled. People talk in the name of preserving the peace eight tips for staying calm and being the bigger person when people are running their mouths yet. What's your objective a lot. Yeah what what. Are you trying to do trying to to win a debate. And in that case make everything your battle and then you can see if you can win everything. That's not what i wanna do like. I want to enjoy my time with my family. And so my mom was here Couple of weeks ago and we have a lot of similar viewpoints and a lot of different different viewpoints and she set them. Said some things that i'm like i don't agree with that at all. And you know. Sometimes i poked and prodded because i enjoy it and other times. Mom whatever i love you. Let's go to dinner and because my goal was to have deeper bond in connection with my mother. What's your goal. Nan is it to have a good time and into enjoy and be thankful and grateful for each other and spend time together and laugh and play and think about old times and think about upcoming memories and times that you guys will create or is it to win them to your cause. I don't. I can't imagine that that's anybody's goal for the holidays like i'm going to win these people over so just don't just don't i don't understand i i get. I shouldn't say i don't understand. I actually do understand because we're passionate right. We're excited we're passionate or enthusiastic. We think this will be better. Whatever side of the aisle by the way we think this will be better for us in the country and people and so there's a lot to be passionate about but ultimately what's your objective. What's your goal. We talk about analogy in iron council whole lot. Just be intentional. Are you here to enjoy time with your family or here to debate on every little issue and and look. I don't think you have to roll over either. You know kip. You and i are hanging out and you happen to say something. I don't agree with. I'd be like you know kip. I really don't agree with that but that's another conversation let's go let's go have some fun. Yeah i'm not gonna. I'm not gonna pretend that. I that i agree with you. I don't think you have to do that either. But you know i. I'll give you another example. I was hunting a couple of weeks ago in in colorado and Amal eastern came. And he and i had some lively discussions. I mean we disagreed on a lot and we agreed on a lot and we had some lively discussions. Neither of one of us got disrespectful towards each other and then we went hunted together. And there was a time to have a lively discussion in the evening about some things and he was acquitted. Acquisitive and i was inquisitive and we were challenging each other and respectful way and then then we decided to play poker. And we weren't talking about those things. We're playing poker and jack and jaw with each other about other things you know. So it's like what is appropriate. What's it the intentional. Most of the stuff. He's let it ride. You really can use let it ride. It's okay when why don't you agree that like our people have been like. Let's say dance. Objective is like hey my objective is to make a point and to convince but i think far too often. We actually think that like even if we're an amazing debaters that people go. You know what you're right brian. I'm going to change my opinion on that. Like most people aren't even they're not having the discussion with you to even consider your viewpoints right. That's always true. So i think generally you're right but i go back to this example with the mall like he shared some things with me. Then i'm like you know. I never considered that way. I still. I still think what i said. Are you in a position. But you're in a position at least listen. I actually when. I think of guys arguing with family members that a at a table. And maybe this is just insightful of my family. I don't think those are prime bribe conversations to be like no one's inputting anything right. Everyone just listening to run their mouths about some opinions another viewpoints. But so here's the one tactic that's been helpful for me. And i've only learned this because podcast is just ask questions refrained from making any statements and just ask questions. Hey kim you said something about About biden and i'm really curious like why do you think that i think it smells kids. Because they they have baby lotion honor somebody. He likes the smell. Geez here we go. I want to say something so bad but again in the spirit of this answer. I'm not gonna say anything. Okay well whatever you know like you don't even know where to go with that but you inquisitiveness is is a is a powerful skill set and you actually have to genuinely mean it because otherwise it. It's like pandering to somebody and talking down or there. Oh you catch him. Yes so you're trying to teach them up and set them and people can see right through that so you have to actually be curious. Oh that's a really interesting perspective. Why do you think that. And then when they say something weird like biden likes to sniff babies because of dot dot dot like you just said like okay. Well i guess. I don't see it the same way but all right thank you for letting me know and then i know that okay. This is not a conversation. I wanna have because we're not even on equal footing here like we're not even on the same the same platform so let's not continue to have this conversation. Yeah totally what. I'm not good at this either. So yeah i think you can shop in a way where you're asking those kinds of questions in your maybe even part of the conversation and eventually someone will ask. Because i've had this like i don't. I don't get into political debates. But i've had family members like come to me and say hey kip like why do most conservative white. What you think. Why do you most conservative. See at this way right. Like and then i'm like oh. This is a perfect time to share. That i'm not kind of shoving it down their throat. Yeah no no. So just being terry martin. Okay you're any recommendations for steps to try and reach out to other men locally to start a men's group yet. I only laugh. Because i just know your answer. But what do you think. It is Reach out and start a men's group the answers in the question. Yeah it's very easy all right. Look but i'm gonna be. I'm going to be more helpful than just that. Because you're right that is the answer and that's like off the cuff. That's what i would typically say. I'm just going to try to be a little bit more helpful here. Okay and rare. And i'm going to be genuine and nice in compassionate and understanding that it. Yeah you're helpful. Yes okay the question you just asked. Let me back up. You wanna find other men in your circle in your local area. That's good you. Should you should want that. The question you just asked every other man who knows that this is somewhat important is asking themselves the same damn question and what all of them are doing is they're like. Oh well you know like if there was something. I can sure to. Then i would show up and i would do it. And so you've got like twenty guys who could potentially be in your circle in all of them are just digging around wondering who's gonna start this. Think guess what it takes one guy who says i'm going to do this so what you do. Is you pick a night thursday evening. We're going to do study at six o'clock saturday morning. We're gonna do basketball at the church or the park tuesday afternoon. We're going to start a golf league wednesday morning. We're going to do a book club. Whatever i don't care what your thing is like. Pick your thing pick your poison. There's a bunch of other guys who like the same thing you do. Okay you got the date you got the time you got the activity and then get out your phone and you call the guy that you work with and you say. Hey bro like we've never hung out outside of work. But i know that you're also into into golf and on thursday evening. We're going to be starting up a golf league and i wanted to see if you wanted to come along and you call fifteen guys. We'll show up. Or maybe less maybe three or maybe one or maybe nobody shows up and then next thursday evening you send out the same text to the fifteen guys and you're like hey guys i know. came last week. It was good to at to the other. You know ten or thirteen guys could make it for whatever reason. Just want to let you know thursday night. Six o'clock golf league and you're going to have to two guys show up we're gonna have three and then the next thursday not to be dead horse. You sent out the same texts pay guys. We had three guys here. We had a great time. We learned about x. y. and z. And i beat so. And so. And i made fifty bucks in this guy lost fifty bucks and there was a good time. And we're gonna do it again. Thursday at six o'clock at this golf course see guys there. Let me know if you're in and you're gonna have seven guy show up and the next time you do it. You're going to have four and the next time you do it. You're going to have the next time you you six the next time ten. You have to be consistent. You have to take initiative because nobody else is going to do it. That's the only reason. I have a job is the only reason guys. I have a job because you won't do it. So when people say well right what makes you qualified. I'm willing to do it because of every single one of you that believes in an how important masculinity was was actually doing what i would be doing i would not have a job so thank you. I guess but also just take some initiative. Find something you're interested. Pick a date beacon system regardless of people show up whether or not they show up and just do it every day and every week or whatever your your time schedules and continue to invite. Have the guys invite other people. It's not hard. I mean it's very very simple. It just takes a little bit initiative and a lot of consistency and you know what look if nobody shows up to golf league on thursday night. Are you going to be disappointed because you get to get around a golf. Or here's another way tap into what somebody else's already doing so the guy go back to jujitsu. I know the guys train on monday and wednesday night. Guess what. I do on monday and wednesday night. I go train. That's where the guys are like. I don't ask them to accommodate me. I don't wonder when like people are gonna fooling me. Cool hang no. That's where the guys are. There's ten to fifteen guys hanging out training beating each other up time learning. And so i'm going to just assert myself and it feels awkward especially the first time you go. You don't know anybody. They have their own culture and their own inside jokes. I don't get this or whatever but you just go and then you go again the next week and the next week and the next week and eventually realized oh you know what i'm part of the i'm part of the guys is not hard guys. It just takes initiative crate on your own or go or somebody else's already created and i want to reiterate consistency consistency consistency consistency. If you do it once nobody will show up. You'll have this weird expectation about what it should be. You won't meet your expectation be like oh no. Nobody cares this stupid. What if i said that the first time i ever did in order man podcast. I had whatever was sixty people. Download the podcast mike. Oh will help them. Six hundred people. How come six thousand people will know about this. And so i said up threw in the towel. What will my life look like. Six years down the road if i would have done that. Be consistent. take some initiative. Create it yourself or tap if this is even delays your ways just to tap into what other people are already doing. And that's good too but those are the two ways to do it all right. Jj dr doolittle sovereign asia's. It's either jared jared. I think jerry dilawar deal deal deal. I need to ask you nj. Do r. j. Sovereignty is there a dichotomy between being a sovereign man and following a system like the iron council. That takes a book of myself. You cut out a little bit. But i think i got the gist of that. You're asking if there's a dichotomy nothing it's there's a dichotomy between being sovereign than following a system like ours or the book sovereignty. There's no dichotomy there. There's no discrepancy. This is actually a one of the questions. I get a lot along. The same lines is how can you be a sovereign man and also believe in god and follow in his footsteps. They're at odds with each other. No they're nausea at all yet. They're not odds with each other. Because you get to decide and just because you happen to follow a particular system whether that's a religious doctrine or the the the book sovereignty or or the iron council. It doesn't mean that you're relinquishing control over yourself. Because at any time you decide to walk away or decide that this isn't going to work for me or decide to take elements and leave others. You still maintaining your sovereignty so guys. I'm not interested in blind allegiance and blind support from you. I want you to question whether this is gonna work for you whether this is going to add value to your life whether what i'm telling you is true or not because if i wasn't encouraging you to do that you could bet that i'm a scam artist to put it mildly to put a nicely. I want you to challenge my thoughts and see if they fit into your view or vision of of your own life. So there's that look. Are you telling me that. I mean this is how i liken this. So here's my battle. Planner all right so every day. I go in and i feel this. How are you telling me that. Because i have a system that works for me that i'm less sovereign lesson control of my life. No i'm actually taking control of my life actually using my sovereignty to find systems and codes and processes and the band of brothers that are going to actually serve me and my needs. And as soon as i recognize like if i was doing this battle planner here and i began to acknowledge and recognize that. This was no longer serving me as a sovereign man than it's my responsibility to get rid of this or to tweak it in a way that's going to serve my best interest so guys. I don't want you to think that again. Whether it's the religion discussion or the iron council discussion that just because you happen to band with other people or you happen to decide that a certain way of looking at life is going to benefit you that somehow you're no longer sovereign because what you're saying is that you're telling me that if you go to church you're saying that because you've decided to give your life to god that you're no longer in charge of your own life. I've never understood that. I can't understand that. Because at any time and i wouldn't do this at any time i could decide. No i'm not gonna take this path of god still much choice. God's given us agency. I've chosen to follow those footsteps. It's almost like a level of victimhood where people will go okay. Well i'm a member of this church. This is what i believe. And then when when they're that they kind of like were there's kind of suggestion or an approach. They'll go well. You know. I hate that. I have to like well even use language. A half to do this. Or i don't like that i have to do that. And you're like when did you join something. Throw up your hands and then be a victim of it right like no religion should ever be that right when we when he believes something we should believe it and if there's aspects of it that we struggle with we need to figure out why we're struggling with it and so make a conscious choice to follow those to your point not blindly and it's not because like we should be in at least in my opinion not that we should be suspicious and be overly concerned about things but you should be bought in like. You shouldn't do anything by line lee. Why because you should be bought into it. You should understand. He's name for it so then that way. You're doing it for the right reason and not doing it. Just because you're asked to resort. it's a it's almost like a form of laziness and lack of critical thinking when we when we had those scenarios. Come up where we're like. Oh we're going to blindly go along. It's it's because we're being too lazy amore. Actually not getting bought in and do the necessary thought process to understand why we're doing those things and why we why it would be beneficial to us. Yeah i think you hit the nail on the head when he talked about laziness not much victimhood. I just think it's easier to follow somebody else's system and think like this is the way you do. It is it. Yeah point yeah. I mean i've got two words then really it is and i know jays not lazy. I know him personally is not a lazy individuals. I mean he's asking a good question that a lot of people bring up and contemplate. But nobody's requiring you to do anything now. If i was forcing your hand you know. I had a gun to your head and said jay. You have to do it this way. Okay now you're sovereignties taken. Now i strip you of your sovereignty because you're under threat of death to be part of this organization. Okay now you're and if you acquiesce to that you have voluntarily given me your sovereignty by the way i'm attempting to take it and you act you've given it to me but you're no he's holding you jay. Look you call me tomorrow and say hey ryan i hate everything you stand for. I don't want to be part of this. And i'm out. I'd say you know what. I wish you the best on your path. Good luck and i would genuinely mean that that sovereignty. You've decided to be here. Which means that. You've made a sovereign decision to be here. Yeah what's your take on like. I you hear this every so often. The colts right people like all. He's part of this coal. Whatever and sometimes when i hear that i'm like they still have control of their own mind right like they're still like make something that someone else would classify is a call. And do you get what. I'm saying a cut out again. I think we're having internet connectivity issues. Hold on one second. It was a dumb question anyway. Totally i'm going to give you a actually heard it. I was pretending that. I didn't just to give you buy. That's a good strategy. You're like you know what you broke out next question. Let's cut that out. Let's cut that one out. I think what you said is you were asking about. Cults is what you're asking about. Here's the difference. I'm not lying to you. I'm not manipulating your emotions. And i don't my motives are pure. That's the difference like you're not here to serve me. You're not here to ensure that this thing is does what i wanted to do. I'm here to serve you actually. I'm here to give you information and tools and resources and guidance and direction that will serve you and you're under no threat. You're under no no. I can't think of the term but you're you're just not under threat like there's there's no consequence to you not being part of this. I'm not threatening down. Not fred threatening your livelihood. I'm not holding you here by force so coercion and that to me is what a call would do right. Manipulate you coercive force you strong arm. You play with your emotions. That's not what i'm here to do. So yeah i mean if you could take elements of a cult like you believe like cult for example. Charismatic leader like all colts have a charismatic leader. Hitler was charismatic. He couldn't do what he did if he wasn't charismatic charisma loan. I didn't make that quite amazing what he did. If you think about it. Like i mean that's not the right. He but i know what you're saying. Not amazing a good way. Yeah yeah yeah. I know what you're saying amazing nonetheless. Yeah so if you extract elements of coulter elements of a movement. That are negative. Then yeah i guess you could. Maybe like in some of that stuff to what we're doing here but if you look at it as a whole man yeah and just to clarify my so. My question was really around. Like people not having sovereignty in re in regards to colts. And and i don't think you lose your sovereignty just because you're still making a conscious decision you know if someone was following a call like i don't understand you know what i mean like. Sometimes there's a sense of like it's a call you lose all freedoms and you won't know that your you you're not controlling your money. Yeah you can still make a choice. No no you can. But the problem is if you're making a choice on flawed data or flawed input. Then yes it's still your responsibility. I'm not absolving you the responsibility. Yeah but if somebody's manipulating you to the point where you're not making decisions with all of the information at hand. Then that's a problem. Yeah that's a genuine problem. If i was lying to you. And i was i was making things up and i was keeping you here and sheltering you from from certain information or input from other people. That's a problem. It's still your responsibility. I'm not saying that. But it's a problem on my end that i'm not giving you access or allowing you access to all the information assuming that because you're an adult that you can make your own decision. I think that's the difference so these people who get caught up in colts. Yes they're they're they're not. They're still responsible for their life. And i don't know this. I'm just saying this anecdotally. I imagine that a lot of these people are very weak minded people and they're very easily controlled or manipulative. Imagine a lot of these. People are probably damaged in probably have interpreted. Some of their life is being traumatic and that they need somebody to rescue them. And that's a problem. Because then they make themselves susceptible to a charismatic individual who does not have their best interest at heart and will shield them from the information that could possibly serve them in order to force feed information that they have selected to get them to do what they want to do. So there's a problem on both sides when you're talking about a colt colt behavior. Yeah all right grete homes. My mother listens to your podcast regularly. She has reached out to my wife and his asking how to handle my my other sisters left leaning views of masculinity. It seems like my sister's appreciate my actions. In my example that i sat but at the same time they believe men who act like women are truly masculine. Would you suggest doing anything else. Besides setting damn good example and showing my family what sovereign sovereigntist produces sometimes that seems passive versus. Maybe going out of my way into having discussion with them on the topic. I mean i might have a discussion about it because it sounds like maybe. They're intrigued or interested in it. So i might talk about that. I wouldn't get drawn into a battle because you might as well have the discussion. If it gets contentious maybe you bow out and say hey you know school. I just wanted to share some thoughts and sounds like you don't appreciate them and that's fine. You don't keep doing what you wanna do. But there's a scripture. I don't have the scripture reference right off hand you guys will know better than i will. But by their fruits you shall know the by there fritzy shelby. So what's going to happen. Is these feminine. Men continue to live their lives in feminine manner. They're gonna produce less than desirable results for themselves their families or communities their businesses in every other area they show up and people will see that and interpreted as weakness because frankly it is not to step into who you are and they'll look at the guy across the street or in this case you the other family member who's bold and strong and courageous and assertive and has a set of skills and leads his family effectively. They'll think that's a real man because by their fruits that they shall know you so you just continue to produce. You continue to leave your family effectively. You continue to raise good sons and daughters. You continue to inspire and lead hand in hand your wife and they will see it. They may not see now. Because nothing's hard right now. Yeah we can either way with that way. yes i know. We're in the middle of covert and everything else but nothing's hard which is nice but also we're not exposed. It's like warren. Buffett's thing that that a that a rising tide lifts all ships. I was warren buffett that said that and he also said that when the tide goes out you get to see who's naked the tides in right now once that tied goes out everybody will know who's exposed and who's vulnerable in it isn't gonna be you and so in times of prosperity men and this is what i talked about the book sovereignty. I said that in times of abundance and prosperity were put up on the shelf. And it's like that that that whole idea of of in case of emergency break glass here so men are put up on the shelf because we're not needed are masculine. Energy is needed in times of prosperity and abundance. Who do you think created that. Now when shit hits the fan and everybody scared and things are going down what do they do they run to the wall and they break the glass and they pull out the real men not the men who were feminine. Not the men who don't have a set of skills. Not the men are who we can. Cowardly they can get away with it in an easy world but in times of emergency they're going to break that glass and call upon you and that's common guys that's coming that might be an isolated experience within your family or your extended family or it could be a cultural or national or even international event but that time is coming and everybody will know who the men are and who men aren't and you'd better find yourself in the right category in the only way people are going to see is by your fruits and they're gonna think i need to be around that guy because that guy is gonna give me what i need which is safety comfort security prosperity. The people the things that people are looking for when they don't have it. Yeah kelvin jones. I've recently decided to take the role of mel role model in my three nephews lives. I don't have any kids myself myself. And their life is a wreck along with their mother. My sister and the other family members. I traveled to work so i don't get much face to face time with them. They are always staying with my grandmother. My mother and my sister and never have any male interactions. That's positive. where should they start. I have plans for weekly zoom calls in my battle plan and i call and text everyday to have topics of conversation during the week. But i'm out loss of where to begin the process of trying to portray to them. What becoming a man is all about. Since i never had those lessons growing up either so you guys get learn together. How cool is that. Did he say how far away. He is from his nephews. No he didn't. He just says a limited face to face time so he's having to zoom calls and text unless you're unless you're geographically not in the in the area i would say screw that bullshit and go pick up your nephews and go do some things together with them like go to the basketball court. Go play tennis. Go to the jujitsu. Matt's get physical another weekend camping totally go on a hike. Whatever safe telling you to be reckless but be safe but go get him. Go get them and and manly with them. You don't have to know this stuff to expose them to experiences. You know like maybe you've never shot a gun in your life so take your three nephews to the shooting range and you can learn while they're learning that's cool and by the way i'm not saying that you have to shoot a gun to be manly. I'm just saying that that's an opportunity for you to learn for them to learn and they're going to draw so many lessons on that experience. Outside of zoom call. I mean basically. You're a schoolteacher. Right now no. No boy wants to listen to a schoolteacher. You gotta get in their face. You gotta get in there grill. You got you gotta choke them. You gotta you gotta wrestling. They got they got. I made a post on social media time ago three years ago. And i'm like we like loud noises. We like things that smell weird and something else. And i can't remember but you do that. Get them around loud noise. Go to go to the racetrack better yet. Get him a bike and teach them how to ride a dirt bike. We like loud noises it smells. They smell the gasoline. I mean look you. Even this like you're sitting around and you're just barton like literally farting and having a good time. That's more engaging experience than being on zoom call with them because we like things that smell weird and it's funny and then you can have conversations and you can laugh and you can play. And that's what boys are about in society doesn't want you to do that right. You have to have manners yet to be quiet. You have to be respectful yet to be you have to. You have to color within the lines and and cross your legs in and say you're pleases and thank yous and there's a. There's a time for that sure and there's a time to rip the loudest fart you ever have. There's time to try to make catch the most air on on a dirt bike that you ever could. There's a time to blow something up. There's a time to try to choke each other out. And all of that is being stripped away from our young men and they're asked to behave like girls and what a shame so. Go get around loud noises. I wish i could remember what the third one knows. It was loud noises. Things that smell and i don't know something else you'll figure danger or no sure risk past risk not. You're not going to be reckless. But there has to be an element of risk to it. That's what makes it fun. We said jump ramps all the time when the kids and it wasn't until we decided to put glass down where you might wreck that that that got more enjoyable all right you're gonna get impelled if you veto clear it you know and it's better and you know what i bet. Some of you didn't clear and you wiped out and you have cuts and you probably still have the scars to show it. Look i'll give you an example. I don't know if you can see big. So i can't pull this windbreaker up here right here. You can't see it. But because again i can't pull my windbreaker it but right here i've got four hours. Yeah it's like an inch long scar just above my elbow. So when i was a kid growing up in peru in utah we had this This hill that we'd go behind we called it crimson hills because there was a little It must have been some some apartments or something right below this hill. It was the best tubing hill and all apparen- and we'd go. It wasn't long but it was steep. And so we'd get my buddy. Kelly stole he'd go steal tractor two tires from his his family's ranch and we grabbed his tractor tube tire tubes and we would. We would go up this hill and we'd hike to the top of the hill where one day. We had this incredible idea. That like six of us should all get on this tractor tube at the same time all piled in and i got in first and then my buddy cody. Jad stolen truman. And all these other guys we all get in right and the whole idea with crimson hills is that there's a stop point on the hill so you get at the top and you slide down in the snow and then when you hit that tree. It's like a juniper tree. Y'all say bale bale and everybody else free. No because at the bottom of the hill. There's a barb wire fence so what we would do is we found this old car hood and we said so so we don't kill ourselves. We're going to put this car hood in front of this fence. We're just gonna lean it up so if we hit something we're not gonna defense but we're going to hit the car the middle car hood the metal up. We all pile on this tractor tube. We get on the top like all right go and we launch in we're cruising and i'm having fun everybody's smiling laughing and we get to that tree and everybody's like bail so everybody bails on the bottom. I don't have time to bail man. I hit that fence so hard. And i went through the fence and i kind of like came to and realized what happened and i was literally hanging on the other side of that fence. My arms were stuck the bird wired. Call them at close arms. Were hanging up and my legs were hanging up. And i was hanging on the other side of that fence and i kind of like navigated pulled myself or whatever and i had this huge gash on my arm and it took months to heal. They said i said oh man. Should i go get stitches. Like i don't know put some ice in it. Maybe it will stop bleeding. And that's exactly what i did. So i grab some snow and i put some packed with ice or snow. The wound with snow and yeah. Stop bleeding i guess. I don't need stitches. I still have the scottish show. But you know what i love that scar 'cause that was fun and that bonded us and that's something that's being stripped away both literally and figuratively from society and we're weaker because of it were weaker because kids don't get hurt my mom. When i was younger she would send me out and she would literally lock the screen door of her house and she'd say go find something to do and i don't always bitch and moan like an hour i wanna watch tv and say no no no go find something to do and then before long me and my buddies will go find something do i remember. We'd ride bikes all over. I shot in the back with a guy who was on. His property got shot in the back with assault pellet gun because he didn't want us property he didn't hurt us but he shot the shop salt pellet gun and then we would we'd climb on people's houses men we literally climbed on people's houses and we had gi joe's and we'd take napkins and we'd find string and we tied little parachutes and we're on people's i don't even know who's houses we're on but we're on their houses and we were throwing our guys off and seen it. The parachutes we built would actually work. We've robbed our kids of this opportunity to grow and experience specifically boys to grow and experience into live life and worse because of it. It's so sad. And so i'm getting off on a tangent here and stuff but at the end of the day. Get off zoom. Okay go pick them up. Go shoot go wrestle. Go play go explore. Get a get a a paper guns buy four of them go by four paintball guns air soft guns and buy some masks. I wanted to be safe and say. Hey i'm gonna give you ten second headstart load on you. That's the when. When i got my air soft guns because we got him for our events and you've done that with us skip the first thing me and my son did as i said all right. Let's go test these out so we went and put our mass on. I'm like i don't know. Stand twenty yards away and so we stood ten twenty. And i shot him. They shot them right in the kneecap and he dropped and he's crying so he gets up pissed and he shot me right in the dick and we laughed and had fun and it was fine. And we're better for it because we bonded and have stories to tell and this is what you need to do with your boys kim. Out of zoom. Get them out of the classroom. Get them away from girls for a minute and just go be men which at times a stupid and silly and reckless and maybe a little dangerous certainly an element of risk but just co experienced. That's what they need from you. All right blake gan many times as men. We take ourselves too seriously. I believe that most of the time we should be taking ourselves. I believe that most of the time we should be taking ourselves seriously but of course there's always a time in place so with that said what are your thoughts and ways for men that can lighten up and express some humor in etc without losing too much of their seriousness or without being stiff. Perhaps practicing humility would play into this. I think i just answered that question. Yeah i agree. Just go just go have fun. No agenda like just go shoot each other. Just go wrestle. Go play just go. Don't worry about what's the lesson that's being learned here now. Magic got fun totally. Yeah i mean. And that's that's been a breakthrough for me this past year where what success looks like is it like i feel good but i come crossed stiff and boring and too serious not fun and then i think my kids my my kids. Don't want to be around me eve. I mean they're not like. Oh i look up to data because he's still productive any unity takes care of the no. It's because i'm enjoyable to be around and it's dead. I run into that fault very easily. Where i can get things done and not be fun to be around like those are usually conflict. So i'm hey. I have to remember that a lot. So here's an here's a small example. Because i like giving these examples because then people can see but the other day i went on a walk with my wife and kids and one thing my wife started doing and i know but she started doing as we go on our walk. There's little point where she stops. And then all of the kids they race from one point to the other and then she times him so my youngest one and then my second third and fourth and she times a mall to get that next point and then so all four kids went and they're standing there at the end. And i'm like hey well my turn. Mis like are you going to go on like hell. Yeah m- to go. Like i want race and my kids. Are you going to go down. I'm like yeah. I'm gonna go and i smoked in my bloom out of the water by the way i rubbed it in. Their faces not mean but like fun and all like just down a little bit and just have fun like you don't always need to be the pillar of masculinity in the beacon of the household with this stoic. Just go out on. You guys know how to do it. My kids bring that out for his. It is and i look. I'm as guilty as you if not more so of that serious tone but like get around kids like get away from adults and just go get around kids and just play just play. Yeah yeah it's very easy to act like kid if i let myself. It's good like the other day we did. We built that in our barn. We built that police system. Did you see that. Yeah where you're you're lifting your kid up really high. There's a lot of trust happening. Because i thought they got a high of mike. We better let him go a but it was fun. Yeah and we built this. There was a pauline or barham. Like let's use that and let's get a rope and we put at the end of this robe my son's tires on there and i'm like okay so we threw one tire on. It's not heavy enough. He's like three on their three was way too heavy. We'll we'll do to like you. Just go that's all i can say. Just go have fun. It's easy and it's funny like our kids pickup stuff from us. Like sometimes when i crazy. They're like dad. This bill start. Like tell me i shouldn't do. You know what i mean. And i don't see that as a good thing i see that is like we're not having a fun like when you have fun. Were often. because they're there too reserved you know regards to what we're doing. It usually results in car driving church parking lot with a six inches of snow and all my kids are like this is so dangerous. Am i gotta care. You get the driver's let me show you how to power slide. That's right that's right. That's right charles charles phillips as someone new to the ic and someone with a lot of liberal friends. What advice do you have for navigating. The three piece in social circles that is in disagreement with the concepts and consider them talk toxic. Get new friends. i'm just you know. I think that's actually pretty good advice. They're not. I mean i don't want to jump to conclusions here. What are they in line with how you want to show up. And what's important to you right. And if they are cool. And i'm not saying everybody has to agree on everything because we have friends for different purposes. You know. there's people that i have that. See things politically different than me. But we don't talk politics. We enjoy a different type of relationship and we can hunt together or training together. Whatever and that's the extent of our relationship and it's all wonderful but the idea that you. I don't even know that this would that. This should even be brought up unless it's just like over the top blatantly obvious that they're like picking out you and poking out you and in that case it's probably not serving you very well otherwise how this even get brought up. I have liberal friends. And it's not like oh. That's my liberal friend. And i know i don't even know 'cause we we don't talk about that stuff. We talk about other things and it's fine like report. So polarized and we're so tribal and i just don't think we need to be there so if if there's some situation worth negative and it's not good for you then i think your advice to find friends is dead on but if it's like no i don't talk with this guy about politics but i enjoy everything else about relationship cool. Enjoy everything else about your relationship. But again they're going to acknowledge they're going to see if you stick around the council and you do everything that we've showed you and you in you you believe in the system and you tap into what we're doing. They're going to see improvements in your life. You're gonna start losing weight. I don't know your situation but you're gonna start losing weight. You're going to start being a better leader of your family. You're you're probably gonna have more sex. Which is gonna show. You're going to get promotions. You're going to be more confident. They're going to see that and be like world is going on with this guy and then you tell them they're like what really. Yeah really and then one of those friends is gonna actually ask more questions. And he's going to realize that what you're doing is the path and the others that don't care find move on or you just limit the type of relationship that you have and that's good too. That took all of your friends. Don't have to be everything to you. There's certain guys that are just. Those are my training partners. We like to train together and we don't hang out outside of it. I see him every monday and wednesday night and we go train and we go hard and we enjoy it. And that's it and then there's other guys ryan daggett for example we'll train and then he'll come over on the weekend and he'll come shoot buzz with me and we'll we'll have a good time because that's our relationship and that's good too. I don't expect that every interaction. I have has to be my best friend i can compartmentalize and have it where it is kip. You and i were never going to hang out outside of this podcast ever l. No but on this podcast absolutely absolutely on the over the internet. We we hang out for the internet. This is a zoom relationship. Only all right tyson junkers last sky in the ics last one last. Do you believe the more we avoid conversations about conflicting subjects. I e trump versus biden and blm versus cops coveting sandra. The more divisive insensitive. We get we always talk about facing our fears. But when it comes to touchy subjects most of us would rather avoid confrontation and hold in anger than to take it on. I love to start having healthy conversations about subjects people who are typically trying to avoid you can only have healthy conversations with healthy people. Yeah there there's no of emotional maturity that you can bring to a conversation and change the tone for somebody who lacks any sort of emotional maturity so if somebody comes to you and i've got plenty of people in my life who come to me and we do not agree and yet they have a high level of emotional immaturity. I've talked about a couple of here on this podcast and we talk about these things we can do it respectfully and with with intellect and with knowledge and we can challenge each other and ask good questions of each other and it's great because we both have a level of maturity and there's other people i would never talk with any of that stuff about so it's really just about deciphering. If this is a person that you can have this type of conversation with or not and if it is cool have the compensations and if it starts to go south maybe ease up on the conversation because sometimes it will even with somebody respect. A conversation could go south. And you're like hey you know what kept like. Maybe let's just change subjects man. I i really respect who you are. I don't want to get heated or emotional or be upset with each other. Like i appreciate the dialogue but you know maybe we ought to cool off for a minute and then you go on to do whatever it is. You're gonna do but you have to decide who's who you can have the conversation with an canton and there are both types of people and everywhere in between what am i. Favorite moments before one of the meet upset. We did it was. I think it was nashville. The last day a group. There's probably fifty of us. That went out to breakfast that morning. And the conversation like we're all kind of 'cause it's interesting all kinds of sent by tables near each other and towards the ended. That breakfast is some guys. Filtered out there is probably twenty of us kind of circle around a booth and we were and discussing and none of the topics. Were still safe. Toss eighths yes and it was awesome. I it was so awesome. I was like you know what this is. What discussion looks like this. Is what logic and critical thinking and controlled. Emotion looks like and it was it was inspiring and it was a it was a reiterate iteration to me and the reminded to me that like how valuable it is to be around high caliber individuals. That are healthy in this context dry. And what the iron council at this podcast. The order man. What kind of individuals we have Amongst us and it's it's so cool. It's so cool. Because i feel like even in icy we we. We have some tough topics only you know and and and disarm easy yes. Yeah and i think. In order through. -freshing yeah i think in order to do that you have to have some some courts speak here. Some sort of common purpose or objective like an iron council. Were all trying to improve ourselves improve our lives. And we're actually all rallied behind that right like everybody who joins and the guys who don't like the way that we do it they leave but all of us are are wanting to improve ourselves as men and so we can have conversations that aren't quote unquote safe. That might challenge our own perspective but again it's all in the foundation of improving ourselves and there's been times where i've had to remind guys. Hey look as we're on the same team raw trying to do the same thing. We're not always going to agree. I don't expect that or even desire that. But let's do it respectfully because we are on the same team and we have to continue to work together. Those are hard conversations also have online. So that's one. Caveat is like in person like you said that event in person is always better always better because you can see the nuance and you can see that. Human being for what he or she really is as opposed to the bottom of the the ones zero zona the screen toy or actually. Wrap up day by the way up like that. I saved the masturbation question for you from last week. Did you as laughing so hard. I remember you saying it but what what was the. Did you not even ask what the question was. Know what it was. Is that question in a may i was like. Oh hell no so. I love to tackle it sweet. Yeah that's right. And i did and i did answer it last week didn't i. Yeah yeah you did. It is i was. I started laughing. Because i was like. Oh yes what a jerk. It's always fun. Those are always fun conversations. Like i don't know like do whatever you want man. I kinda wanna think about that for you. The last image. I want to add in my mind. Thank you again for bringing up kip. I appreciate that. Yeah well you know. I just want to improve the raiders. Super video small part. Nobody's listening anymore. Anyways we've been gone for over an hour. Everybody's he's already signed off. Like i can't i checked out. You just put a teaser. They're like we mentioned masturbation towards the end sustained around. Yeah stick around. You want to hear this. I promise you'll want to hear this. All right let's drop. There's your breakthrough all right. So i mean we talked. I mean end of year Sign up for the ready program so to learn more go to order. Man dot com slash. Battle-ready roughly have four weeks. And i hate this and iran. I'm assuming you're the same way. Whenever i hear someone like oh and four weeks. I'm going to no. No life doesn't work that way right now right now so. It doesn't matter if it's only four weeks away on the path yet some four weeks in if you wanna look at it that way It's really all you have right now is right now anyway right. There's a good thing about the battle. Ready program is thirty. Eight about already program. So this is how it looks and then thirty days january one you hit the ground running 'cause you've already got everything mapped out and planned out so this is why you'd want to do right now. Yep so signed up ordering dot com slash already. We talked about Your just the value of the guys that were around you know in in to join us to and with us. You can do so on facebook at facebook dot com slash groups slash order man or you can learn more about the iron council. The as i look like i like to use his. If you're sitting on the bleachers watching the game and you wanna get on the court you join the court and you join the game by plane and and you do so by order. Dot dot com slash aren't council and of course follow mr mickan on instagram and twitter at ryan mcclure and somebody should set up a tiktok account. I'm like. I don't think i'm not there yet. Bro talk moves. We give a cup our own order man like tiktok dance or whatever. I'm probably not gonna do that. I'll just come out and say that and they were probably not going to be doing that. You got christmas coming up so Think about these store. Maybe dropped hints to the to the wife. And you're and others. We've seen a lot of so. We a lot of orders come in from the ladies over the past couple of weeks i will say so late guys. Your ladies are getting the hint so let's keep going anyways guys appreciate you great questions today. We will catch you all next week until then go out there take action become a man. Thank you for listening to the order of man. Podcast you ready to take charge of your life would be more of a man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order. At quarter of man dot com.