EP 21 Leaders In The Living Room with Adam Weber
Hey everyone thank you so much for tuning in today for episode twenty one. We're in a conversation series called leaders in the living room. This series is all about helping followers of jesus to glean wisdom from christian leaders from around the country on how to lead in their homes and workplaces during the season like the one in with the in nineteen pandemic today leap pastor adam weber joins episode to share wisdom and insight from his liver perspective. Well here we go. This is the uncommon christian. Podcast with michael ari guys. Thanks for tuning in as we are continuing our conversation series cau- leaders in the living room. I'm excited for today's episode. Because i have what is becoming a very quickly. Good friend Lead pastor adam weber is joining the episode today. Adams say hi to the podcast for us. Michael it's a huge blessing to be on honored to have the time with you today. So this is a big deal to me. I appreciate it. I actually got to encounter adam actually through our lead. Passer rusty georgia's podcasts. And he had adam on and they were talking about his new book which will get tuna just a few minutes and Issued a really great story. And i just remember thinking i gotta get that guy on the podcasts. I'm a. I'm grateful for that. I don't even know what story. I shared on his fogcast. But let's go let's go. Let's i'm excited about it all right. Let's jump right in and out of once you tell us a lou about yourself who you are what you do and why you do it. Yes so. I'm born and raised from south dakota my whole life with the exception. Alary dakota coda. South dakota if you don't know is a part of the united states of america like i promised some people are like. Is that a foreign country. No it's a it's a state. So i'm born and raised here with the exception of three years when to kentucky offer them right. Maybe i went for business in marketing. Undergrad came to christ later on in high school had a huge transformation Always thought would work in the ad agency. I'd start a company of some kind That fell apart because god had a different idea. I ended up the summer before. My senior college filled in for pastor and within the first week i knew all supposed to be a pastor so went to seminarian got married actually before going seminary the next day we moved to kentucky i always say My honeymoon i drove through beautiful cities. Like lafayette indiana. A lotta people. Lafayette indiana yeah. Sure honeymoon integrity. I oh my wife honeymooned. Say that my gosh you are a terrible husband. So went to kentucky came into church. I didn't want to start a church about started a church when i was twenty. Four years old. Been here since. I'm married my becky We got four kids. I you know. I pastor a church. I'm still the most unlikely people to be pastors. Why do what i do. The greatest joy in my life is jesus. I know that something lame that a passer supposed to say. I don't feel like a pastor. But i know the greatest joy of my life is jesus so i just want to spend the rest of my life. Don't people about jesus in so. That's really my goal Legitimately picture myself in a nursing home wieland from from room to room someday telling telling people sheets so that that is. That is my goal. That's my plan. I love. I love it and you are the lead. Pastor of embraced church correct. I am yeah It's a place so just you know adam My wife and i we we have this thing that we're trying to visit every state in the country Just two and south dakota every time every time we start planning on trip might we should just do it this year. Let's do it and then because now we have because there was really only one thing to go. See in south dakota now we have to. We can go see mount rushmore and can come see adam at bruce her one of the. I always tell people one of the coolest drives. I'm dr seen most of the country. One of the coolest drives fly into sioux falls and drive across the state and you will see every possible like different landscape that you can amount. It's a really beautiful drive. If you could only choose one side of the state definitely go to the west side. Which is i'm on the east side. So i'm talking smack about that's the west side is where it's at. It's beautiful out there. That's awesome and i listen. I lived eight years in kentucky. We get all the jokes. I joke so. I hope you don't feel bad about my south dakota joke there so no worries whatsoever. Yeah if you if you ll every every single january and february. I questioned my intelligence. Gosh listening doing here. Why do we like. I imagine that indiana or sorry. South dakota is no joke but indiana winners were so bad as why we moved to california man. We my bones couldn't handle it anymore. It's intense in a legitimately. It feels like indiana doesn't even have winter compared. Gosh it's terrible. It's terrible note to self. Avoid south dakota during the winter. Well i don. We're in a series called leaders in the living room and obviously you're one of the phenomenal leaders. That has come across my radar that i've started to follow and watch how year leading and you're leading in your home and your leading in your workspaces which i'm calling right especially during a season like the one where an with this pandemic. Why don't you kind of give us a snapshot little peek into how you've been leading your family and then subsequently your workplace during this season. Yeah that's a great question honestly. This is ben for me personally. Not not belittling the heartache. That our country's gone through You know even through. But i've worried for my own parents. They both have very compromised. Health systems Himself and five worried for them. So not taking lightly that it's been one of the most life-giving seasons of my life I got two for just personally. I got to rhythm started almost immediately. When kobe hit for the first time since college i started regularly working out. I'm the healthiest. I've been physically. Since i was a since i was a senior in college down. Twenty seven pounds five inches. And i feel the best i've ever felt inside develop that rhythm and then the other rhythm was really spending some quality time of guide and again i know a pastor supposed to say that that doesn't come natural for me. I'm at any grant three achiever. Let's do in. So it's hard for me to sit. But i really got some wonderful rhythms of just praying and being still in sitting with god and so i feel like i developed those two rhythms in that really impacts. I mean it changes you when you have those two rhythm setup and so i i just feel like modeling and leading in my home is maybe the strongest. I've ever been as a husband and father of of just living it out and being filled in my kids know who is gonna come through the door at the end of the day instead of being stressed out version. Really the halo. What are we gonna do tonight. Wanna play football. You wanna play catch. And so i think for me. It's i've always tried to model a relationship with jesus in in through cohen. I feel like it's been the best version of that instead of kind of telling my kids. They should they should they should they. Should i hope they see dad confidently reading his bible constantly. Praying constantly have enjoy it being willing to say share times that i'm struggling as well but but i i really hope by a model that out and then with the staff. I think it's a it's a similar thing more than more than preaching a good message They could see the fool behind the message. You know whether it's a true story or not. And i've just been really i feel like it's been an overflow even into the staff of them like tonight it's not an embrace event. It's just me Doing a thing so we restored share about in the book actually. We've we bought the drug house behind our house and we restored it. We sold our lake cabin. That was beautiful to buy a dumb and so tonight at six thirty. We're doing a night worship there. Oh and it's been it's not gonna be huge I asked to staff people not as work. Who don't lead worship but have a passion for worship. They'd be willing to come and they both were like giddy. They're like i love leading worship. I rarely get to. I'm get i'm guessing we'll fifteen people there it's not gonna. It's a private facebook friend event. I told you can invite whoever you want to. But we intentionally didn't want to be this big right. It's i think this them even seeing that part of me. Yeah and them knowing that some of them do on. Tuesday morning i had. I had time in that same house at seven. Am in a guy. showed up man. And i think. I think them seeing that simple. Like adam lives this out like this legitimately who he is. I think is the best way to lead and also to be in just like real about. Hey guys are. Attendance is not what it's bed you know. If you would've told me are tend will be right now. If it wasn't for covid. I would have said who had a moral failure. Like what did we do. Yeah and so early. On one of my closest friends are first full. Higher said every part of my job that i love. I feel like has been taken away from me. cova now by by by ovid in So it's it's just to be honest about about The discouragment but also to continue sharing stories about how god's continue to move. I think for a leader. I think for us to be great at sharing stories of life change even right. Now is critical as a pastor as the lead pastor specifically you you. There's a lot of things that are not fun. Part as part of your job but you do get to who. We are a lot of cool god stories. Oh yeah so instead of just keeping them to yourself more than ever be sharing them. Yeah you know. Ask the person if you're gonna share specific details. Hey do you care. If i share this with the team 'cause that's the stuff that keeps the fire burn now. That's so good at him. I i love that. And i think it can be very easy for us to just look at. Just look at what's going on and think. Gosh i'm not being successful aaron brockett. Who's a leader pat passer at traders point. He said this he said you know. When covert hit the dashboard changed right. So we've been looking at the metrics for success. That change completely change. Success is now measured differently. It's not in the numbers. It's not in the finance. It's in the people. How are we engaging people. How are we helping people what life. Transformation transfer forming stories or hearing and sharing and experiencing and so I love that that's a hardship to make. Oh even for me i keep. I keep thinking it's the same scoreboard. Yup and cannot achiever. Like that's what i do. That's how wire that's how god. That's how god wired me exactly and there's a there's a negative side to every way that god has wired you you we as humans were great experts at screwing up good things that god gives us sure but like a i i just think like i think to be honest about that but it really is shifting and saying okay here. Here's what we're running after. Here's what we're going for. And i think a leader you gotta helped set bat in help. Share the vision behind. That's that continues to be a struggle for me. I'm i'm learning what that looks like and i'm also learning to get excited about that new finish line and it's a different finish line so hard to get excited you know but i think just to be real about that as important. Now that's so good and and You know you're talking to a fellow three here to though this season has been like oh man i've gotten so many things done i i probably would have never got done before because i think that's been the great part about being a three is that i've said okay. I'm going to really be in tune with my family. That's goal. I have now and i'm really gonna try to leverage relationships. Wow i wanna kill people. Wow and so which which is interesting because that kind of leads into your book. You wrote a book called. Love has a name and the premise of the book is all about learning to love the different the difficult and everyone else once you tell us a little bit about like the inspiration behind writing the book and then i really want you to share the story that actually my Attention about atta weber. Is that you set this up on a street corner so talk about the situation and then tell us that story. Yeah so To two years ago i went through the hardest season My life. I am naturally a person who loves people. My wife always tells me. I have the gift of attracting every strange ranger on the planet. I always. I always consider that a compliment. Unlike thank you thank you. I just do like i love people. I love hearing their stories. The two years ago once hard season i needed to make a hard leadership decision which was not a popular decision and i mean it was terrible. It was whole. I was devastated. Had a bunch of people that i care a whole bunch about walkout of my life I mean it was. It was horrible. Any anybody who's a leader. I really believe at some point. You will walk through something similar. I was just with a group of pastors last week from across the country. Almost every single one had been through something like that. I mean just was in when you're in it you feel like you're the only one but so anyways i was jaded for the first time in my life. I wanted to love my wife. My kids a few close friends in. That's really where our world is right now to our world is like i want to live love a few people and everybody else combined their business. You look different me. Vote different than let me think whatever this cadillac. Please stay away. But that's where. I was for the first time ever yet. Thankfully god doesn't let us stay there and so really. This book came out of me. learn what it looks like to love people. I don't wanna love people in need. I needed a guide to train me to really rewire my heart in. It was pretty cool. One quick thing about the book each chapters the name of a person who's either love me or tried to love them combined with someone similar. Jesus loved in one of the main that began to heal my soul. It's easy to think about all the people that you hate. I mean if i was to ask named five people that just annoy the crap out of you. You would be able to list them off quickly because they came too fast to my head right and body slam them in your daydreams like you've punched him in the face in your shower like you curse them out in your car you know like dislike. It's so easy. But what if we begin to focus on the five people or however many people who showed up when nobody else showed up who were faithful when they could have easily been unfaithful when what they loved us from. You're unlovable that began to change me to think about those people. So the story you're referring to a couple of years ago. I began to pray to very similar things. The first thing was got helped me to find one person a day that i can go out of my way to love. That was one thing the second thing. I began to have this feeling where anytime i felt like. God wanted me to do something i was going to say. Yes i i'm going to say. Yes and i specifically would prey the second part or even both of them. When i was struggling with anxiety myself. I would just start praying. That god is something i can do to to love somebody to show them that they matter in so one day. I had the idea that i was gonna buy a fold out desk that suitcase. That folded into a table and A mike okay. What am i gonna do with that. I'm gonna sit on a street corner and ask if i if people wanna be listened to like you need to talk grab a seat like i was just like okay. I don't even okay. Am i gonna do this year. Yep yep go buy stuff so i. I found a desk online. It was on amazon to search awesomeness desk in. Okay live but about it. I found it online. So i found this desk online. I remember. i had a wooden chair from when i was in seminary that we still have thrown away. That was in our basement. That was a quick like would full about cheer. I got a picture of my wife. I got a fake plant. I got a bobble head of a baseball player. I don't even know who he is. And then i made a sinus as needed talk. Grab a seat. So the sign a guy. A guy was doing construction in our church here. And i said hey. Can you make me like a would sign really quick. And he's like two by four shot together. Yep so he's like okay so he went downstairs literally judy and then came back up. Like this. what you're talking about. That's exactly it and that. I just wrote those words on. I put it in the back of my car and for year. I didn't do anything with it. Every so often i'd feel like hey go set up go set it up and i'm like i don't want to set that up. Who does that. That's weird like. That's i'm not gonna do that. You should do that. you should go. Do i don't want to do that. I don't want to go to one week. I didn't have to preach that sunday. It was a tuesday. And i just felt like okay. Now like you're gonna do. You don't have any excuses. And i was like okay guy like it was one of those days where i was tired of being hounded by him and i said okay guide to corners that i think would be good to work in a non shady. Sorta way there's two. There's two corners 'cause i have be strategic because this what i got i got a baldness and i'm as white as they come borderline bread. I need shade. And so those two corners on like if there's a parking spot buy them a pullover not do it so the the first corner and there is. There's no parking spot. And i'm like okay like i'm i'm okay this i get to the second one and i can tell. There's no parking spots. And i'm like all right. Got a record i tried. I tried a soon as about drive past person throws it in reverse and opens a spot right up like right next to it and i. I'm not kidding. I pull in. I give myself the pep talk of all pep talks a high extrovert. This this weird. The it's a busy corner in sioux falls as a little big town. It's like one but there's going to be people who recognize who you are. And so i i get up. I get set up. I bring my laptop out. I start typing on my computer. This active hope. Nobody's going to see me. And i'm positive. Nobody's going to sit down and within within minutes. There's people who start. Hey what are you doing. I'm i'm the sudden woody. He what are you offering to talk about. Actually whatever you wanna talk about and they just kept blocking dislike. Yep that's probably what it's going to be. Nobody's arrogance now a few minutes later I've guy scares me. He sits down. He's like so. I just sit down. I mean he just shocked me now in a said. What's your name. And he says my name's jerry he's like. What are we gonna talk about. Actually whatever you wanna talk about. He said he. I said well. How are you doing. He said i'm doing really good. He's like lately. I've been struggling. Like would just be anxious but in shifted gears. Tell me about his career. this guy. This man jerry was was in his prime mid fifties wearing a suit that was more expensive than the fiat. That i pulled up in. This seem like a very sharp professional guy. He's a scientist and he began to tell me for the next ten minutes all of his accomplishments and He he got done. He used half the words. I didn't even understand what they were but he got done. And i genuinely said. Wow that's amazing it's none of my business but When you first started you said that you've been anxious lately. Would you wanna tell me about that. I mean immediately again. This sharp professional man. You could just tell you shifted his posture everything about him and he said Lately i've been having panic attacks. And i don't know what's wrong with me. Wow any began to sob in front of me to sobbing and sounds so sorry in an essay. You don't need to be sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I don't know why. I can't stop crying right now. Said i've struggled things. I'd from time to time myself. You don't need to be embarrassing. Like i don't know what's wrong with me. My my son's actually scared about me. And that's why i'm in town. I'm staying at my son's house right now in sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and I said again. None of my business have. Have you ever thought about inviting god in the office again. Were in the. There's people walking by constantly and sobbing and he said using god won't be a part of this mess and i said well jerry actually i don't. I don't think i actually know that. Even in our darkest lowest crappiest moments that actually in those moments got even closer to us. Yeah just began to sob again. We prayed together. I asked if i could pray for them. Pray for him A it was. It was time up because his son was just getting off work. Son wasn't engineer down the street. He got up any said before. I sat down. I walked past you and i said to myself if that man still sitting there when i come back i'll sit down any said adam If for nobody else you came here for me today. Wow i mean so. That was the first of now. I do it constantly the very next time it was a it was a young thirty year. Old gal who sat down and she told me she was having a crap storm of the day. She didn't say crap different four letter word and and she said I saw you got to my car. And she said i couldn't help but wonder what are the chances that i'm one of the worst days of my life. There's a guy sitting at his desk right in front of my car. That says needed talk. Grab a seat. So she said i got. I got my butt back out of my car. She didn't say the word. But and that's why i'm sitting here. She told me she'd just fifteen minutes earlier. Got the phone call from her her. Dad's doctor that there was nothing more that they could do he is he had terminal cancer so i got to pray with her and what i found one of the simplest ways to to love somebody just to listen to them so often. We want answers and truth as leaders. That's true as dad's as family members so often we think we need all the answers all like a lot of times. We just need to listen. We don't have any answers sometimes as leaders in as people we try to give answers that are kinda tried answers and it actually causes more pain than anything instead of just being like cash. I don't know what to say. Like all right. But i i i love you just gonna listen you know and just being being present jesus was so good at being present. Yes but literally turned into these random things. I've been doing this one of the weird bizarre things i do. I do all kinds of bizarre thing in years of my life. I'll come home and she'll be like you did what i promise. I don't know what that idealistic but The the most life-giving karma week man. That's so good. And i so glad you could share that because i think i think you see that. Come out in your book. You see that posture that vulnerability but that that humility just let i may not have all the answers but man an ear right now could do a million different joyful things for somebody right. Yeah yeah what. What if we during this this campaign season like in cova in everybody yelling at each other what if as followers of jesus were the best listeners. And it wasn't that we are watered down and unwilling to take hard stands. Yes but what if we were just really good at listening and people knew that we were. We were listening to listen not listening to respond or to shut down or to win a conversation but we just listened really really well. yeah man. that's that's so good at him. I appreciate you encouraging. S and that and now let's so adam wrote the book love has a name And it's learning to love the different the difficult and everyone else adam working. Everybody get this book app. Yeah you can pretty much get it anywhere. Books are sold so amazon. Target walmart barnes and noble attitude. Grocery list so weird about. I don't think i've ever bought a book from walmart. Maybe i need to start behind. I mean it's probably possible now. Just a book anymore though. Well adam adam we appreciate you coming on the show. Today adam weber lead passer embrace church. We are just so thankful for you man. It's it's been an absolute joy. My face hurts from smiling also. Hey i want to thank you for listening today. If this was helpful for you would you do me a favor. Big favor and share others also would love it if you provide a positive rate and review wherever you listen to because you guys know. The show is all about reaching more people Not about fame or popularity. All i wanna do all this. Podcast is designed for us to help encourage and inspire every christian the love jesus and to live out their purpose and uncommon ways. Thanks for joining. And we'll see next week. Thank you for listening to the uncommon christian. Podcast with michael hinton for more information on. Today's topic visit uncommon christian. Podcasts dot com.