Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon
From NPR WBZ grow. This is wait. Wait don't tell me the. Npr news quiz stays six feet from my buddy but snuggle right up next to my heart. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host from inside that same pair of Pajamas. He's and on for two weeks beaters. Sega all day deal and thanks as well to the very appreciative audience at the two thousand eight Kennedy Center honors applauding for Dolly Parton. Many of you told us that are sound effects. Last week made a sound cheap so we asked our producer Mike to Class it up. A bit was remarkable. So I'm coming to you today from a closet in my house near Chicago where we store stuff from our wedding and I never thought I'd be able to wear this dress again later today. We'll be talking to command johnny and Emily Gorden who told the story of their odd courtship in the movie the big sick. They're also stuck at home and like so. Many others have tragically succumbed to the urge to create a podcast. But I. It's your turn to talk to us. Give a call. The number is one. Triple eight wait. That's one eight eight eight nine eight nine two four. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi you're on. We don't tell me Eric from Needham Massachusetts. I know Needham really well. They're so needy in Needham they. That's why they call them. What do you do there in need? American? I'm not a pediatric emergency physician at Boston. Children's hospital what are you doing talking to us? Shouldn't you be working? I was working all last night in many nights before that all right we'll I'm I'm only sorry that you're taking your precious free time and wasting it with us but thank you for what you do and thanks for calling. Let me introduce you to our panel. This Week Eric. I up a comedian who you can see new clips of on his Youtube Channel. Atta Lonzo Boden. It's Alonzo boating again. Thanks to work you do minutes amazing next a woman who spending all her free time staring cat videos. It's Roxanne Roberts also my closet it is. It's safe anyway and a correspondent for CBS Sunday morning and the author of mobility is Great. Lives Worth reliving. It's more rock I Eric Yeah. I'm back in the closet and oh I didn't expect this to happen Eric. Welcome to the show. You'RE GONNA play. Who's bill this time bill? Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news you can correctly identify. Explain to them. You'll win our prize. Any voice from our show that you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to play great. Let's do it. Here's your first quote. I was number one on facebook. I just found out. I'm number one on facebook. That was the president on Wednesday during a press conference in which he said that something was going to last till April thirtieth at the earliest. What I'M GONNA guess. That's the corona virus. Yes or the warranty because of it. I assume the virus will live forever. We are all going to be stuck here for a while. It's like your family coming to visit for a weekend staying for a month but your family is you. This is the Lord of the Rings of National Calamities. You think it's over and it just keeps on going well. I think the the thing to do is stopped. Listening to those press conferences because time actually slows down when he talks you. Just that's the first trick. Stop listening to him. But he's number one on facebook Alonzo you know. Here's the thing about him being number one on facebook. It's going to facebook. What happened to my space. I remember who was number one on my space space? Exactly back one hero. One hero has emerged in all of this of late. And that is Andrew. Cuomo governor of New York perhaps because it is calm leadership but probably just because there are no more sports to watch. Andrew Cuomo is daily press briefings have become must see TV. He's like an older meaner version of. Cnn's Chris Cuomo because that's exactly what he is. It's weird because nobody even liked him a month ago. It must be the epidemic in real life. He's a four but with corona goggles. He's a nine. It's sweet but can we talk about the nipple rings. Yes no we can talk about the nipple rings because that was a real story in the news this week. People are obsessed with that question. Does Andrew Cuomo have nipple rings because if you look at his chest there is something. Under his shirt. People have become amateur photo. Analysts. Trying to figure out is that a ring is just his nipple if it is can we just curl up suckle? It and finally fall asleep feeling safe. Why can't we talk about Chris? Cuomo's nipple rings wait wait now? Okay all right is it. Is it conceivable? It's just a Cuomo family nipple trait I am okay with him having a nipple ring as long as he got it before the virus when it was still safe. I don't WanNa think that I'm quarantined. And he's hanging out at a piercing shot gets rings so all right Anna Terry. Enough of the haves and the have nots. You can get nipple rings I can go. Meanwhile Donald Trump is of course jealous of the attention. Komo's getting so. He announced that he the president has way more nipples than Andrew. Cuomo all right Eric. Your next quote is from the nation's new favorite celebrity a man named Joe Exotic. I'm outspoken good-looking loved to Party and have fun. Mystery exotic is the star of the show. That's making quarantine fun for millions. What's the show tiger king the tiger king your way very good documentary series on? Netflix is a huge hit. Right now. Probably because it's showcasing the kind of characters that reminds you. You really. Don't WanNa be around people so have you. Have you guys seen it? This remember all in on Tiger King. Okay so you have to explain this to me because what I have read. Is that a lot of very dumb. People are throwing themselves at these wild animals and getting various body parts maimed in things. Like that and it's just full of people who are insane. It's even better than that along the way. Okay Roxanne so you turn on the TV and you see a guy with a blonde mullet and a gun strapped to his thigh with a husband who has three teeth a bunch of tigers that live in the backyard an assistant with no legs. Another assistant with only one arm and he's obsessed with killing a woman who wants to save tigers. Now that's the first four then it gets crazy then it starts. You can't not watch this show and I will say this. I will say this you know black people. People of color have been complaining about not being represented fairly on television and in film. We are so glad there are no black people in the tiger thing. You have no idea we like. Please don't let us be involved and we're not. I gotTA ask here. Eric answered that pretty quickly does a pediatric surgeon. Who's been working so many hours straight? Did you actually have a chance to watch this? So it's actually all the talk in the emergency department right now really important to have some laughter along with the medicine I can see. I've only seen the first episode Alonso. Does everybody end up marrying off in the end. I mean classical comedy structure. We haven't even touched on the man with three wives. You See. That's the that's the thing about the tiger king. No matter what you talk about there's another level you haven't touched yet. All Right Eric. Your last quote is an actual email out of office reply. Many thanks for your email. The Office for the Duchess of Sussex has now closed. That office is closed in the former. Duke and Duchess of Sussex seemed to complete their flight from the British Royal Family. By moving wear this week. I believe the United States California maybe close enough. They've moved to La just a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex Harry and Meghan announced that they were leaving the royal family and moving to Canada. In other words they picked exactly the worst time in history to move out of a castle surrounded by a moat. Everybody started counting down to the inevitable. Move to La. I mean come on. Of course she's going to go back to work as an actress and he would love to experience at ten for the first time in his life the Tiger Prince and princess. I mean that's a reality show is going be. I give a SU- weeks before he's hanging out with. I think we know why they moved to America now. They wanted that twelve hundred dollar check. Do we know where in La? They're moving. Do We know where they've rented or purchased a home? Do you know I don't know I was thinking. I would have expected them to Anaheim. They've got that castle familiar to them. Eric doing her quiz. Eric Whims Mos- ventilator. Getting all three -gratulations thanks for playing and though we rarely sincere around here we sincerely thank you for the work you're doing and now it's time for another installment of our new segment. Wash your hands with me. Bill Kurtis as a public service to you. Our listeners were once again going to take a moment to wash our hands as you know by now the best method is with soap and water for twenty seconds and to make things more fun. Bill here has volunteered to sing his favorite song. Ready Bill. Let's get. I did it again. I just washed my hands got lost in think. Oh baby baby you think. Gun In love itself from Sometimes Berry I just say that. That was the voice of Chicago news singing the Suds saw. And you're wondering why the tiger canyons coming up. We're here for you. The listener game one triple eight way to play. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait wait don't tell me support for. Npr in the following message comes from best fiends. Have more time on your hands. Connect with family and friends and engage your brain with fun puzzles by downloading best fiend. The five star rated mobile puzzle game with over one hundred million downloads. The game is updated monthly so there are always new levels to play events to master and cute characters to collect and you can play without an Internet connection download best fiends for free on the apple APP store or Google play today. That's friends without the our best fiends Izenberg from. Npr's asking me another every week. We BLEND COMEDY. Trivia and a special celebrity interview Matthew mcconaughey Hey culture migrated educator ask me another from NPR FROM NPR in WBZ. This is white wave. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Mojo Raka Alonzo Boden and Ruxandra Roberts and here is your host from his man cave in Chicago. Peter Sagan all. Thank you Dale Stein to the Gateway Jonestown listener game called one triple eight. Wait wait to play our game on the air. Hi you're on wait wait. Don't tell me hi. This is bridget calling from. Call Your Bill Tennessee. Hi Bridget doing well and yourself. Not Too bad not too badly. Even though I'm speaking to you from inside closet. Howard how are things in Collier Ville are you won't sheltering in place I assume? Yeah actually and I've just recently returned. I was living abroad in Europe and he suddenly had to get on a flight back. Really quickly stanwick spinner really wild adjustment. Were you living them? I had to come so quickly. Allow like every thirty something year stream living now back in my childhood bedroom with my parents. I Smell Sitcom bridget. It's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth. From Fiction Bill. What's Bridget's topic was just trying to hell? We could all use a helping hand right now but do not touch that hand. This week we heard a story of things going wrong when somebody really tried to help. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Picked the one. Who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize. The Voice of your choice in your voicemail. You're ready to play. I am ready all right bridge a first. Let's hear from Lonzo Boating Aviation Tech Allen Lane worked at a wind tunnel facility being locked down at home and all this talk of social distancing in an airborne virus gave him an idea. Just blow the air away from the House. He got a high powered fan from work. Mounted it in the driveway to blow air away from his house his neighbor bill thought it was a good idea so allen brought him a fan. The Wilson's across the street didn't want the air blowing into their homes so they needed a fan to next thing. There were five fans for eight houses on the color set now. No one sure when the problem started was it blowing wasp's nests out of a tree into the Wilson's garage with a wind so strong. The WASPS couldn't escape so they found the kitchen more comfortable. Maybe it was the kids on bicycles. Who's new favorites stunt is attempting to set speed? Records WITH SALES. Attached their bikes. Perhaps it's a simple fact that no one in a three block radius can keep a face mask on because it a windstorm. After four days Allen's experiment was shut down by local police who advised him to turn off the fans could on a face mask and take the loss of lawn furniture as the cost of a lesson. Learned Alan is now at home trying to design a new more secure facemask. A man brings home his industrial strength fans to help blowing the virus away and trouble ensued. Your next door have helped gone. Wrong comes from Roxanne Roberts. Daniel ridden had a great idea. The Australian astrophysicists a research fellow at Melbourne University wanted to invent in electronic nicholas that prevents people from touching their faces his contribution to the Cova nineteen crisis. Ridden attached four powerful magnets to his wrist and the necklace was supposed to sound an alarm if his hands got too close to his face. The necklace didn't work so ridden did what scientists are trained to do. He started experimenting. What if instead on his wrist he put the magnets on his face quote? I clemson magnets to my ear lobes and then clipped them to my nostril and things went downhill pretty quickly. He told Guardian Australia when reared input two magnets in his nose. They locked together and he couldn't get them out so he googled quote magnets up nose and found the story of an eleven year old. Who had the same problem so ridden tried to remove the magnets by using the other two magnets now. All four magnets were stuck up his nose and he tried to pull them out with pliers quote. Every time. I brought the pliers close to my nose. My entire knows would shift toward the players and then the flyers would stick to the magnet. He said it was a little bit painful at this point. Britain ended up in the emergency room where doctors laughed at him. Remove the magnets and recorded the cause of the injury as quote due to sacrifice Latian and boredom an astrophysicist trying to invent a useful device ends up with magnets up his nose in the Er our final story of someone putting the ASS. Assistance comes from Morocco. With so many waiting out the pandemic in lonely isolation the hunger for reconnection with family has never been stronger. Enter family reunions a startup from Entrepreneur Christine Lewin. We thought at this time we can make a difference in people's lives by reuniting them with family members who over time drifted away using ancestry records. Family Unions locates long lost relatives and arranges a surprise reunion by a video chat for ninety two year old Clara spur. Ditto an invitation to see her favorite grandson was positively heart melting and then she logged onto her computer. When I saw it was the Leo. I was just so disappointed that kids. Many things. A moocher and a bomb and not very bright at all my favourite grandson. He's not the whole time. He was babbling to me about his business. Plan for vaping cafe was time I could have spent Danielle Steele other. Unions have been similarly surprising. I had heard about great uncle. Sid From my parents says Danny Rothman. He took all their savings for a so-called investment. That just couldn't lose right before he got sent to the SLAMMER for thirty years. Now this guy has my email address. What a nightmare. Honestly I just want to be alone right now. Alright here are your three stories each about somebody who tried to help us out in the crisis. We're in but did not end up doing so from Alonzo. Boden a guy who brought home some powerful wind tunnel machines from work to blow the virus away and instead blew his neighborhood to hell from Roxanne Roberts and astrophysicists trying to end up a useful device ends up with magnets up his nose and apply glued to it or from Mo e unions to bring you more family to connect with. It doesn't work because turns out people really don't like their family. Which of these is a real story of an attempt to help gone wrong. Well I actually know this on. Surprisingly it was like the one bit of news. I read this week on. I think it's Roxanne story about the magnet up the nose. Roxanne story of magnets up to note because as you said some guy getting magnets up. His nose was the only good news. You could find this week Sadly gets all right. Well you're choosing Roxanne story with some confidence. Well to bring the truth. We spoke to someone very familiar with this true story. The two magnets that state inside clipped together and because the magnets was so powerful it took to Dr Seuss. Pull them out. That was Maimon Zo. He's a reporter for Guardian Australia talking. About of course the astrophysicist with the magnets up his nose and before you laugh at this guy you have to understand within a couple of weeks. This is going to seem like a fun thing to do to all of us. Congratulations bridget you got it right. You've earned our prize. You have one appoint Roxanne. She's always grateful. Thank you so much for playing and I hope you can get back to normal as soon as possible great. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you bridget. Take Care Bye and now the game where we ask people who were hanging around by themselves to hang around with us so that hanging around by themselves won't seem so bad anymore. It's not my job. Kumail Nangiani was already well known as a comic and an actor and HBO Silicon Valley but the film he made with his wife. Emily Gordon about their very unusual courtship called. The big sick was one of the biggest hits of two thousand seventeen. Earning them an Oscar nomination. So of course they've taken that newfound clout and dunwoody every superstar couple of dreams of they have started a podcast. Emily Gordon Kumail Nangiani. Welcome to wait wait. Don't tell me here which is not fair. And how are you guys doing the sheltering in place in the isolation? Well you know it changes every day I feel like every day is a whole new set of feelings and it. Sorta like wonder what today. We'll hold if I wake up and look at the news that changes my whole day. That's correct which you do as soon as you wake up. I've resisted today and yesterday the two days prior to that was not able to resist. And it's really work myself up into a ladder by eight thirty. Yeah now you guys made a movie about how you met called the big which you actually played yourself and it was a huge hit and I think it's true that people sort of fell in love with you as Youtube fell in love in this successful film. So Do you feel a particular obligation not to go crazy and try to kill each other stuck inside all the time but what would be better than that for the Sikh? Obviously it wouldn't be US making it. Somebody else would have to work together after one side of the equation. I'm on I'm not going to be in this movie. I will say here people on twitter going if camello emily break up. I won't believe in love anymore. That's a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure here to announce we will not be breaking up. We're doing great. I'm glad to hear it. I have to ask about one scene in particular. It's a scene where emily the character is over at Camillus House and has to get up in the middle of the night and demands. Like I gotta go get a cup of coffee at the diner around the street and it seems incredibly strange that you would want to do this and it turns out. She just really has to go to the bathroom. So my first question is aided that really happened. And secondly whose idea was it to put it in the movie for people like me to see it very much was my idea because I was trying to think of milestones of intimacy and relationships that you don't really get to see movies ever and I always have talks with my girlfriends of a when you're earlier relationship. What do you do when you need to keep it? Because it's just a conversation I've had at Brunch many times and everybody's got a fun story of like. Oh I had to go to target. I had to run to the coffee shop. I had to do this. But it is a sign like pretending we don't have any bodily functions to having bodily functions is a progression of a relationship. I'm sorry so it turns out that all the women I see having Brunch and in the corner of the restaurant. That's what you're talking about we. It's just fecal talk behind your time. That's all we discussed. I'm just I wanted to ask at what point in the Brunch. Does that come up? As soon as drinks are ordered I would say so. Yeah we've talked about your movie but I think what America wants to hear about. Is this picture of you. Kumail a nice geeky South Asian came out. And you're not a skinny anymore. No He's not no Internet sensation. Did I did not think it would become as much of a sensation as it did. It was really surprising so I was actually shooting the movie that I got before I posted it and I checked an hour later and nothing happened. And then an hour later and it had become it was everywhere on my twitter feed and it was just my own naked torso over and over and over and it was honestly. I felt very while they felt very naked for a very good reason but I felt emotionally naked as well. I didn't know it was shown into what it turned into. First of all we should explain. You GotTa role in Marvel Superhero movie right. Yeah it's a marvel superhero movie called eternal and for me. It was like I was too. I thought Asian Superhero in the marvel movie and I was like I want this to be a guy who looks like he can take on. Someone like thor who can take on someone like Captain America. So that's where I was coming from. I didn't want the first South Asian Superhero to also be the first out of shape marbles I was like I wanNA break just one barrier right now. The other one is for someone else so so. That's what I came from. I was like I have to really get in shape to try and like hang with or you know you love it now. I Love I do love it but I didn't quite get to thor. But that's that was my effort. I how are you able to maintain that at home when you're not able to go out and go to the gym say while you're sheltering in place let me just really quickly say he's not able to maintain it because he's actually added to it in the last three weeks Well I basically right before the quarantine hit we saw it coming so I got a set of dumbbells and a bench and we put it in our garage and I have been working out as if my sanity depends on. I don't know what it is about. Not being able to control anything in the world that makes me really want to control the one thing I can. It's Texbook Kumail. Well there's this concept called zero risk bias. Where in an uncertain situation you do something that makes you feel like you're bringing control to the situation and that's why most people horde toilet paper because it's really cheap and you can feel like you're doing something to control the situation but you work out and that's your version of buying toilet paper. Oh Yeah we have no toilet paper but my biceps. Look Command. It's a pleasure to talk to you and we have asked you here today to play a game. We're calling the big chick- that's right. You made the movie. The big sex or we're going to ask you about the big check namely Big Bird. Answer two out of three questions about the giant. Whatever it is. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The Voice of anyone. They may choose in their voicemail. Bill who are Kumail and emily playing for Bella north of New York New York? All right here is your first question guys. You ready to do this ready. We're ready all right. Your first question. Big Bird can be litigious giant animals big bird or his human representatives once sued whom the owners of the Seagram building in New York because he kept walking into the big glass windows and giving himself a concussion be Gandhi makers of the sexy big bird custom or see the makers of a quote male enhancement supplement. Which used the slogan. How do you think big bird cut that way? Okay okay okay. Let's talk about this. What do you think it's either sexy costume or the male enhancement? I feel like it's I think it's being. Are you okay with that? Let's go we're going to be? You're right guy. It was fun it was. It was like wonderful watching your process. It was like the big sick to yes. The answer is b It's a pretty sexy big bird custom. I have to say all right. Big Bird has had some amazing achievements while he's away from sesame street. Such as which of these is it a he ran faster. Forty Yard Dash than several offensive Lineman at the NFL. Combine be defeated actor Jason Schwartzman on an episode of LIP SYNC battle or see took first place at the two thousand three. Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Besting both Joey Chestnut and cookie monster. Okay so I think we're going to go. Hey let's go. A note was actually be. He beat Jason Schwartzman Rattle. All right. Here's your last question. If you get this you win it all here. We go big bird costume. Assuming it's a costume and not an actual bird is made out of what a Turkey feathers but only from the butt of the Turkey. B N Ninety five masks or see leftover parts of Burt. Oh okay so. This is a tough one. I wonder if you can make an ninety five mess out of big bird costume. In which case I imagine. A bunch of big bird costumes being sent to hospitals all over the country that is such a heart warming segment ended newscast with children. Just crying I think maybe a is the answer in Turkey feather. We're going to. Yeah yes was in fact a turkey feathers by the way? That's the same thing that they make those feather. Boas that the Vegas showgirls. Wow Bill and emily doing our quiz novell. It was quite a journey. But the one two threes winning Johnny and Emily Gordon host the podcast staying in their also producers of Little America an apple. Tv Camillon Emily. Thank you so much for joining way. We don't tell me we so appreciate thank you so much for Africa Hank you take care. Bye-bye it just a minute. Bill puts on his best running slippers for the listener. Limerick challenge for one AAA quit to join us on the air. We'll be back with more of we. We tell me ferment. This message comes from NPR sponsor capital one with a capital one quicksilver card you earn unlimited one point five percent cashback on every purchase everywhere with quicksilver. There's no limit to how much cash back you can earn capital one. What's in your wallet? Credit approval required capital one bank. Usa and news breaks and big stories change every day. That's why we're giving you. Npr's ten minute morning. News podcast on Saturdays to I'm Scott Simon and I'm Lou Garcia Navarro up. I start your day with us. Weekdays at six eastern and Saturdays at eight a bit later to suture weekend from NPR news from NPR on WBZ Chicago. This his wait wait. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. Were playing this week with Roxanne. Roberts Morocco Lonzo Boden and here is your host from the shoe wing of his walk in closet. Peter Sago thank you bill. Bill GIVES HIS DAILY BRIEFING ABOUT COVERT RHYME teen. It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to give us a call at one triple eight. Wait wait that's one. Eight eight eight nine. Two four eight nine two four right now. Though it's time for a game where calling the viral load. That's right we're about to throw at you. All the corona virus news that you didn't see this week rapid fire style. Get your question right. You get a point ready to play Yup rocks and you're up first true or false. French police reported that one woman called the corona virus hotline to ask if it was safe for her husband to spend the weekend with his mistress false. No it's true it's France rocks and of course it's true. Alonzo's seeking advice in how to deal with the virus outbreak. The president placed a direct call to Alex as our Secretary of Health and Human Services. Oh that'd be false right. Of course. He called Alex Rodriguez former baseball player. Roxanne true or false. The State of Montana issued social distancing guidelines saying that six feet is equivalent to four into an trout or to shovelnose sturgeon. Joe Yes mo- were false David Geffen and a gesture of solidarity instagram photo of himself. Self isolating in his forty million dollar mansion. Of course it had to be true. No it's false yourself isolating in a building ship. I-in -ticipant what you were going to say. And I didn't listen to you. What lesson how? We have the audience to remind me to listen to you. You've never on your Alonzo church false. A woman in Washington State was disappointed to learn the soap. She'd been washing. Your hands with was not in. Fact antibacterial false right. She was disappointed to learn. It was a block of Cheese Roxanne Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin. Netanyahu called together his cabinet to show them film of Iranians conspiring to spread the virus. False right. He showed them a clip from a hallmark television movie that he thought was Iranians conspiring to spread the Virus Molin New Yorker attempting to recreate that heartwarming Italy. Sing along we saw on video was joined by over a thousand neighbors in song false. Yes he was told to. Shut the bleep up. I Love New York. I absolutely love my home city. All right we'll hear some more questions for you from the week's News Alonzo without any games to cover Fox sports broadcaster. Joe Buck has offered to do play by play of the action in any video has fans might send him but after receiving many submissions. He is requesting that people stop sending him there. What porn well close enough their own sex tapes. Listen it's bad enough to see amateurs at work. We don't need a job right. Do you Miss Sports. Will you don't Miss Sports as much as Joe? Buck does. The beloved and beheaded sports commentator has been providing play by play for videos of. Oh kids during football's in the backyard or beer. Pong Games all really cute until it wasn't. It is nice though when people are taking precautions so he can say and he's safe well. It makes sense for him to be doing that because his announcing partner era is busy advising the White House on what to do with the Corona Wall. Somebody's gotTa hold down the Fort Alonzo. He's been getting so he's being Joe. Buck has been getting a lot of people have been sending Joe Buck Sexton for him to do quote unquote play by play analysis. Hey could have a whole line of videos called a buck buddies. It occurs to me the Joe Buck and get back at some of these people by going ahead with what they asked him to do and doing the play by play like it looks like he's using a much smaller bat than expected based on his performance. He'll be candid for a player to be named later. And it's and it's game over before the first commercial break coming up. It's lightning fill the black but I it's the game where you have to listen for the ride. If you'd like to play on air caller leave a message at one. Triple eight wait wait. That's one eight nine. Two four eight nine two four or click the contact us link on our website. That's wait that. Npr Dot Org. And if you want more wait wait in your week. Check out the weight quiz fear. Smart Speaker it's out every Wednesday with me and bill asking you questions on the comfort of your home or wherever you have your smart speaker but if you have it someplace other in your home you're not going to be dealing with it. Are you. Wait wait don't tell all right. This is Andrew Sackman from Lexington Virginia. How are things in Lexington? Pretty good I think can be. I know you're sheltering in place as well or do you have one of those jobs that gets you out of the House. I know I'm not really essential. I I actually an evolutionary biologist I Do experimental evolution with bacteria viruses to study the way that viruses adapt to new hosts new environments. Wait a minute you're an evolutionary virologist. Aren't you the guy who's supposed to show up like right before the end of the movie with the solution to it than you convince the president to do it and he does it and you're the hero that's a little bit above my pay grade? Welcome to the show. Andrew Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks the last word or phrase missing from each if you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the Olympics will be a winner. Ready to play. Here is your first limerick from our wastes none. We don't get a glance so with close we can take a big chance and now most online shops show increased sales of tops. But the customers aren't buying you us. Sales results from Walmart have seen shirt. Sales shooting way up while pants went way down. If you have forgotten are the things we used to wear in our legs. Which if you've forgotten are the things we used to use to go outside. Leg warmers just so strange. If you're not wearing pants That's true we should avoid that if all possible. All right very good here is your next limerick woolly mammoths best spicy or sweet and Sabertooth line is a treat we use mushroom and soy as a mole liberal toy. We're inventing new kinds of fake meat. Yes very good. Vegetarians love the beefy flavor of impossible burgers and other companies foray into new kinds of meat beyond the classic pork. Chicken and whatever's in Taco Bell. The company is being intentionally vague. About what exactly what kinds of new flavors of venture into it could be something exotic like alligator or maybe wild game or maybe the most dangerous game Lou who is doing sorry. Who is this? The impossible foods company. They make the now very famous impossible burger. Which is made plant but looks and tastes very much like beef. So they're now saying well you know if we can. We're faking it. They can make any kind of meat that they can think of not just pork or beef chicken so why. Not you know Zebra meet. The company is able to alter the texture and flavor of their product. So there's no reason to limit it. You can make tiger king tiger meat. Oh that's wrong. You know that guy with leap at the chance to endorse them. All right here is your last limerick though. It sounds like a big. We don't Caravan. We are counting on you to play Ferre Fun. Just go run on your own and keep track on your phone and then send in your time for the marathon yes marathon marathon like a lot of this spring. There were unable to reschedule their event. So they've decided to go. Virtual runners can log their miles anytime in the next month. So look forward to a whole bunch of runners smashing their personal records at this year's Cleveland Marathon. I couldn't believe it either finished in thirty five minutes and no. That's not that's not cheeto dust in my shirt. It's gatorade powder I want. I want video of the first annual Oak Park Marathon. Just running up and down his steps for twenty miles. You've missed it man. I have done it. Run after runners have submitted their times they will be mailed a t shirt and a metal just as if they ran the real thing along with one of those twenty six point two stickers for their car but this time the number will have air quotes around it. Can I say that I am actually running a marathon right now? I am sitting a record time. Who is going to deny you know how to Andrew do in our quiz entered. Knock them all down. Came in with a perfect score congratulate. Well done thank you now. Go go figure out how to kill the virus and save the world. I'll work on support for this podcast and the following message comes from Zoom. Zoom phone is a top tier cloud phone solution with the same ease of use reliability. That you've come to expect from zoom meetings. Zoom phone works seamlessly within the zoo. Map as your business phone system to make and receive phone calls capture call recordings and easily escalate to video if the need arises and it works wherever you are in the office or on your mobile device sign up for zoom phone online at Zoom Dot Com and meet happy with Zoom. Now want to our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill can you give scores? Mo has three points Alonzo has four and Roxanne has six. Well done Roxanne. Well that means that Mo- you are in third place of the clock will start when I begin your first question according to a new report favourite son-in-law blank controlling the White House's pandemic response from behind the scenes Junkyard Jared Kushner right on Monday representative mark. Meadows resigned from Congress to become president. Trump's blank campaign manager reelection G. staff staff following weeks of criticism Rhonda Santa's the governor of blank issued a statewide. Stay at home order on Wednesday Florida right this week. A man in Washington state who hit two parked cars and let beliefs and a high speed chase explained officers. He was just blanking key trying to social distance. No he was just trying to teach his dog how to drive on Monday. Officials in Japan announced the dates for the postponed twenty twenty blanks Olympics right from Thursday online giant blank announced it would provide surgical masks for its warehouse. Workers Amazon right. Although it's technically under lock down. The streets in a small town in Wales have been filled with blank goats. Yes Mo- goats very good. We'll all the humans are stuck inside. The suddenly empty city of land did know has become a complete goats town. Dozens of Goat's came down from the nearby mounds and decided to make the town their home. They've even started taking over local businesses. Which is by the starbucks will never run out of goat's milk doing our quiz. Mo had five right for ten more points. He now has thirteen. And the lead. Pay Alonzo you're up next. Fill in the blank on Sunday. Blank launched another ballistic missile into the Sea of Japan. North Korea right on Tuesday. A Federal Appeals Court rejected the Florida. Gop's effort to limit felons blank rights voting rights. Yes despite virus fears bookings for blank and 2021 are on the rise cruises yes you're in luck Alonzo saying they were needed to protect a dignitary. The Secret Service signed an emergency order for thirty blanks this week. Golf Carts right after being quarantined in Australia actor and sometimes guest host blank. Return to the United States on Monday. Tom Hanks yes. Amanda Board during quarantine conducted a long investigation discovered that the name for triscuit crackers comes from blank the name for triscuit crackers comes from biscuits no it comes from electrcity you see if you look at triscuits. Obviously the skits part is biscuits. But what's the trip part? And he found out it's electric city. He also found out a variation created to be served at circumcision ceremonies are called the brisket Lonzo. Doing OUR QUIZ. Lonzo had five right for ten more points. He now has fourteen and takes over the lead. And what is Roxanne? Have to do to walk away with this. She only needs four to five to. Oh here we go Roxanne. It's almost too easy can it can I? Can I just interrupt for one second? Peter can I just kind of center up just to say all these years? I've always found it sweet the way that bill will say that we're in the lead right before the other people before the other panelists having answered the speed round yet it's it feels like a t. ball game or something rarely does everybody's a winner this game all right. This is for the game fill in the book on Thursday the DNC announced. It was postponing the blank until August. The nominating convention on Monday. The Fed predicted that. Us blank rates could thirty two percent. Unemployment yes this week. Mike Pence blamed the US is slow response to blank the CDC chronic back right after another drop on Tuesday. The blank had its worst. I quarters since the two thousand eight Financial Crisis Wall Street this week. A cyclist had to be airlifted to the hospital after he crashed his bike while raising money for blank bicyclists for rescue helicopters on Monday. Researchers confirmed the first ever heatwave in blank an article on Wednesday the FDA recalled heartburn medication blank over fears. It may cause cancer. Zantac online work. Meeting went off the rails this week when the woman running it accidentally blanked. Oh when she posted a picture of herself as potato close enough. She accidentally turned on a filter that made her look like a potato and couldn't figure out how to turn it off. It's one of the most common problems with virtual meetings. You gather the whole team together and then one of you turn into a potato with big red lips droopy is apparently the filter is just one of many fun options. Microsoft includes in its meeting software. Unfortunately the woman couldn't find out how to turn it off so she was forced to be a work potato until the end of the meeting. When she transitioned into a couch potato. She was wearing one of those tuber tops on her. I'm not even going to pose this as a question bill. Roxanne did well enough to win right. She got seven right for fourteen. More points listen to this with Mr Potato Head. She got twenty points and she's the winner this week and is in close you guys get real legal biter. You gave her a game though you gave her a game. Wait WAIT. Don't tell me as a production of NPR IN WBZ Chicago Association with Urgent Haircut. Productions Doug Berman benevolent overland go to reds are lyrics or public address announcers Paul Freedman host managers. Janika donor intern. His Day or web grew. Is Beth Milton? B. J. Liederman composed our theme our programs produced by Jennifer Mills Miles dern Boston Lily and King Hours Zuma meeting virtual background. Peter Win Technical Direction. Lorna White. Our Business and OPS Managers Colin Miller Production Manager is Robert newhouse our senior producers in Chile back and the executive producer of wait. Wait don't tell me. Is Michael Dan for now panel? What is now the most exciting thing on your schedule Morocco? I am going to give a haircut to my Chia Pat Roxanne Roberts the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. Has Been cancelled. So I'm GonNa put on an evening gown drink too much champagne and make fun of my cats. At Alonzo voted the third week of April. I'm going to sleep in my guest room and call it a road Gig. Well if any of you knew those things panel will ask you about it right here on. Wait wait don't tell me thank you. Bill Kurtis thanks also to Morocco. Roxanne Roberts and Alonzo Boat and thanks to all of you for listening. I M Peter Sehgal. We'll see you next week This is NPR.