Episode 12: Church Camp Horror Stories


In a world of fake news this is news. You can trusting who snow the snow we do. You're listening to the babylon. Here are your infallible hosts kyle man and ethan nicolle. Yes the voice you are hearing right. Now is none other than someone you've probably never heard of before. Kyle man and this other voice here ethan the coal. You know that because i just said my name i did you know question what why said the as an introduction myself. I just said my name so that <hes> that you've been on hearing my voice he knew my name. I thought you meant you had prerecorded something that i wasn't hearing right now and you had this whole leg ethan nicolle. I am no now. I might i could do that. When brian gala introduced himself powell actually did he that might have been the referring to an episode yea yeah so that's a teaser. You guys will really enjoy that yeah. We've got another. Hopefully people seem to like brian. <hes> there's maybe one negative comment. I think but that guy seemed grumpy. Yeah there was a guy that was like i <hes> i really super boring. I disagree with everything. That guy said. He listened to the whole thing so i i do all we need is the download and so a lot of people seem to like it. I i love analyzing movies now than we. We can't do it every episode thou drive me crazy once in a while yeah so ethan and <hes> you look a little bit older. Do i sitting across the table from here. The other night i was sitting there and i was like just kind of chilling out with my headphones. Nile never had a segard my mouth and i looked down and realized it was past midnight and i had turned thirty nine. They were have that experience. Will you have thirty nine yet. I'm like in my early thirty. S you're young and that sort of thing is because you like you know about all this old stuff old soul. You don't seem like you make a big deal out birthdays ethan you. You don't really i was over at your house like the minute you turn almost at the minute they got your. They're just before because i didn't. I didn't say hey by the way i'm turning turner. I hate people that tell you it's there. Were i think the worst thing i feel very sad for people that like send you a birth like big invite like hey. It's going to be my birthday. Birthdays already meet at this restaurant and we all get together. It's like shouldn't someone throw your party for you. We had there was <hes> that weird like you telling you what you can bring you. Presents presents and stuff can get together. We had an acquainted at church wants that <hes> that invited to her birthday and then told everyone ellen by the way it costs eighty dollars a person they were doing like a wine and wine in pain and food and you know one of those things and it's like everybody come and bring your eighty dollars. You know and it's like i don't know if anybody showed up. It's pretty brutal present. You're gonna tell them to bring thing eighty dollars and a president yeah what this is like must be rich area now. When someone says like no presence accepted are no yeah no present-day dominated yeah i mean he's still bringing the president right yeah you don't mean that they're just trying to their virtue signaling so ethan sitting in his garage chop and a candy cigar candies and turning in thirty nine well congratulations enter the united feels a lot like thirty eight and i keep i keep forgetting of i'm thirty seven and thirty s and i'm gonna keep forgetting about thirty to thirty nine. I think the thirty nine a little more. It's notable because it's right on the border forties yeah yet. I don't think you'll forget no and put your memories also going yes last night. My wife took me out to sushi. I and had all you can eat sushi which i always tell me after i have it. Just don't do it again. Never do it again because it's not as good as it sounds like just shoving tons tons of raw sea creatures into your mouth until you completely stopped. Just there's no way that's going to end up good so i'm feeling i'm feeling right now. There is no scenario in which that ended up any moment as well. I'd cast could have to go on pause because like the entire cast of the song under the sea. It's going to have to enter the sewage system this building room. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry this is as quality got yeah. I don't. I don't do the all you can eat sushi you was. I sounds great but it's not i have. We have sushi restaurants that we like. My wife likes a lot more than i do but the ones that we like we get the roles that we like in the suji that we like. You know i i don't know i i can't eat more than one or two plates anyway. I know isn't a eating way more than i like. I'm like well got all you can eat so i gotta get six more roles and shove them in here somewhere. They gotta fit now. Is it like all sitting out there about it's nice. This place called sushi martini okay and i don't like their martinis because i make my own specific martini that has really good a martini with sushi and it does not sound good to me yeah. There's actually a fish swimming around. Ah yes still live. That's just swallow not true all right. I thought it was true. Had you for a second and then it's good that you tag that with satire satire by the way this time slopes thanks you. I think frank posted something on twitter. Oliver articles should should say at the beginning this is satire and then while you're reading and you are now reading set ever after every sentence warning that you are now reading satire you have just completed reading satire well. I didn't have a birthday but my kids got. <hes> got their orange belts in taekwondo. Whoa whoa they do at when you get an orange belt. Can you do jumping spin kick yet or is that later yeah no. That's when you get to use the that's when he turned into a ninja turtle you get beat people with a stick and has that were i don't know <hes> magically break boards yet or is that later they're learning to with like the plastic ones that fit together all they fake fake fake board before the do the real board. I'm guessing they fake all the way up might be. I guess you'll find out. I don't know how it works. When once you go through the gauntlet so orange is like third. I think it starts white but you get stripes. They do different too. It's like different than yellow in the northern trenton. That's what i remember but i can i because they had purple because i already had purple so they did like white. Yellow really may be blue thought was like right before black no browns before black. I thought it was purple. Brown black no also blue whatever it may be blue brown black is next who knows so you know as a kid. It was like the kid that's all capitalism capitalism as a kid the kids who got to do karate to me were like so cool you know how you know karate yeah and everybody signed up after the karate kid movie and it just became this whole cultural thing we did. This guy came to town and it was like white trash. Karate is called campo and the guy who had like berry bulging chest hair out of this ski named <hes> his name was gil mcgill or something uses weird guide like rex cuando like that. This is why totally white pasty white guy and it was like really cheap so my mom took us because we were really poor and they're like no kicking. There's no spin kicking jumping like everything that was cool that the ninja turtles dead these. We'll do any of that superman because all these kids watch news turtles come in her like hey can. You teach me how to do all. They hated it. We'd just sit and meditate two hours every class. You just do these really straightforward punches and stuff sad well speaking of sad. Should we get into this. Week's stories is not good not good here. We go every week. There are stories. These are some of them chick-fil-a installs confessionals so you can repent from eating at popeye's they do. I don't know chick-fil-a was catholic and now sometimes you've gotta muddy the waters but the guy who owns carefully as his last name kathy kathy lick that could be kept never heard it used before but that'd be great nickname for catholics kathleen a bunch of kathy's. It sounds like a derogatory kathy's around. I love chesterton too bad. He's a kathy just call them. Filthy lee papists pick this that sounds dirty to guide a lodge gods. Have you gone to get your exam man castiglioni nation well. We've got jokes about bowel movements and perhaps mayor lines year already in this episode. Lines signs are being crossed. It helps them. We have guests they renison we show off. We try to be good just us in this little room so i mean we've talked about chick-fil-a on this podcast the main reason that this story we're bringing up because there's a little bit feud followed it. Is there a few between pies and there's a kerfluffle by the lamp's sick and i'm going to my voice gonna crack even more than usual holiday. No yeah ladies tell me more about chick-fil-a kid ready yeah. There was a kerfluffle popeye's introduced. You say fluffy kerfluffle. No ellen there or spur styles isn't fluffy fussell cohill kerfuffle kerfuffle. It's not kerfuffle. It's not kerfluffle. Hold on now. We're going to google it. Fluffy will no never mind. I was wrong well that was allowed us to whatever said kurt you might be finding people who are mistaken just like you are on the internet and it's it's on. It's on urban dictionary canary as kerfluffle. Let's urban dictionary. That's ask no offense to the urban committee this website. Lets you ask questions is what's the difference drinker fussell and kerfluffle kerfluffle nothing <hes> thing and it says kerfluffle was a four piece english folk band wait. No that was kerfuffle. I don't know i've got no idea idea so anyway. Yes there was a brouhaha email us. If you tell us if you think it's kerfuffle or we'll do a poll. That's how all truth is like. It's our it's our gift versus jif. Well debate is a gift for jeff ethan. I say it's gift. I think we're together on the rational people say gif solidarity <hes> so there was a there was a brouhaha are a real racket a real. It's it's pronounced racket doc. Id is pronounced like relaxing rock a ruckus so there was a there was a throwdown between popeye's and chick-fil-a because popeye's is introduced chicken sandwich which is chick filet territory can catch this par- this was the this is like this isn't part. Is the whole story okay. That's the story that's it. They knew some new sandwich and the sandwiches like we prayed over the sandwiches from jesus well so there was a big. It was a big deal. People are saying oh my gosh. I didn't know popeye's chicken sandwich. I think they've actually had it never had a sandwich and nelly i think they've had it for a long time but they just one of those marketing pushes like did you know we have a chicken sandwich and and it was really effective because obvious everybody's playing chicken one enjoy chicken sandwich and still not hate gay people oh yeah and so it because it's a culturally charged issue people on the left or like you know i don't want my chicken sandwich with a side of homophobia hold hold the hate covered and so people are rushing to popeye's show their support and then her boy so at the babylon be we stood in solidarity with chick-fil-a lay. We fired back. We had a few so we had the congressional which i was very happy that photoshop turnout beautiful adding myself on the back of that on dramatic see the light gonna glowing chick-fil-a guy's face behind the screen of the national. E showed me the original reference images like that's. It's not gonna work. It's never gonna work and you made it work so streaky gala tricks and then we had sorry for sniffling and trying not to <hes> mm-hmm judas iscariot it turns out just before he denied christ he was at popeye's eating a popeye's chicken sandwiches at true. It is true. That's scholar said on our honor story. We could scholars for oliver satire yeah. At least one is that well so in the article. I made it like it was <hes> it was. Dan cathy the athletic guy into skies. I'm glad this really. I didn't glad glad to hear that you didn't even read trumpets than the one with the the chick-fil-a employees good thing. I didn't put the headline of my notes the marching around the popeye's blowing trumpets yeah that a reference to something no you gotta read your bible to figure out what about. I know that one bad bad that was one of our subscribers pitched that idea nice yeah. Hm worked out so good jobs rise to the top you can do it. You can leave yourself. Claw your way over. All the wanna be anything can happen. You can make any dream come true. If you believe in yourself off. I'm trying to find that disney and the dreams that you wish to dream scanner. If you dream really i i would have definitely happened. Life would be and you can get a chick-fil-a joke published yes on the babylon the pinnacle it's the pinnacle of your whole life but wait. There's more stories this week c._n._n. Is quoted on the babylon. Be very reliable. Source assaying i'll ratings are only tanking because trump is killing off viewers by the millions man already i already had issues with us president but the fact that these killing millions of people but they're seeing viewers that's true but because they add an actual reliable psychiatrist on their show who theorized i that trump has killed more people than hitler stalin and mao century. I don't even know what those numbers are. It's one hundred million plus a you always destroy the not to joke by death but you'll hear the back now. It was like somewhere between like fifty to one hundred million. That's a huge difference in the gap there the margin of error like yeah because you killed like six people six to six to ten people. They'd be like or even if it was like one between one and four. It's like well. That's a huge different. Are you a serial killer or he just kill somebody. Are you just a regular killick. Did you kill fifty million or a hundred hundred million. It depends how you look at it. Maybe it's like did the starving people really was his fault. People stare yeah. I think there's some disagreement like yeah yeah. Is it his fault. If there's a famine <hes> you know but but in china definitely was like the government was <hes> was not getting the food to the people like everybody. Everybody who died of natural causes during that time also count right yeah and then people will say gotta be fair with now people say that about like capitalism look at all the people that died from capitalism totalism. Oh and it's just like people who died. You know i i suspect that with almost all statistics about death is how do you really like unless it's a like a a piano felon them then then you can have that you know clearly that killed them but when it's like when the piano falls on him. There's like the researchers go over to the chalkboard. In under the piano column they scream the scratch one one tally mark another for pinhas like if somebody dies the secondhand smoke shouldn't they also all this has to happy factored in like they were around radiation or they like had a death common in their family traits. Yeah we all do i guess i'm genetically predisposed to dying as my parents everyone in before me did that and they watch the last jedi the week before. They died yeah so that's it. There's a correlation yeah. Yeah the actual quote from this guy like this guy that we're basing this on truth this guy on c._n._n. Said trump is destructive person in the centuries hitler-stalin mao in the last century. He may be responsible for many more million deaths than they they were like if he said the exact same amount as them now be pretty insane but he said many more million yeah like what what is that many more million so that's it's gotta be close to the billions right or a billion did you. I didn't listen to the thing. I don't know what your context joseph. He was saying he was getting into all his healthcare staff stuff. I briefed healthcare looked over yeah. It's like what we're talking about. A cause of death like you know someone pulling the trigger on a firing squad yeah versus like what i disagree with trump's healthcare policies therefore he killed this person millions of died slightly. It just seems slightly lightly hyperbolic to a little bit just a little heaney just nuance well. We're in the middle of the trump will cost. Yes the trump trump pacalypse trump pacalypse all right this one the disease a little twitter language this one did not do as well on facebook but but it did great on twitter jesus ratio on twitter for saying love your enemies what's what does ratio would mean ethan for all the confused facebook. People ratio is a thing that happens on twitter when somebody posts something that the twitter community finds repulsive. Are you reading something. No i'm just saying you're reading some mechanically. It's something that happens in the twitter. That's it's like syria define re-shoot so when the number of <hes> comments far outweighs the number of likes that is called ratio because it shows that the tweet wasn't really liked. There's just people are slamming it. Yeah she'll example. There's a recent one this this guy who actually got ratio this last week or whatever and <hes> this guy named matthew styled. I think he's from the u._k. He said always in matthew stolen stolen. Stolen is a d. and they're gonna say he's responsible for millions. I try to do my best. British accent. Always remember that almost all racists are all united by one thing. I'm turning australian. Almost all racists <unk> are united by one thing. They don't like being called racist. I don't even use you civilian point. You sent me that link and i was like uh-huh. I still don't really care. I don't really get what he's trying. It's so circuit it's like you. Could you thought anybody way to tell somebody's not a serial killer. It'd be calm a serial killer and looks like the opposite idea of that would be if you aren't racist. You love being caller racist which is just like. Hey man you racist. Yes thanks bro man love you. Oh man that is so clearly. He got like ratio. She owed hard and then he replied to it like a guy goes. I can't somebody just said like <hes> just called him on his logic and he said that's a peculiar response and so somehow reading into oh. If you respond that way you're also arranged. This is tweet that response got ratio ratio insider <unk> double ratio as ratio <hes>. What was that movie with all the dreams inception ratio inception yeah anyway. That's twitter geeky. Probably so i mean the thing is that you know. Just people not liking. Your stuff isn't really proof that jerome that's true which is funny because it shows that twitter is this crazy place and because jesus saying love your enemies twitter is all about the opposite despise is your enemies and it's yeah you'll have the people like my enemy wants me destroyed because they are white supremacist than the you find out. They're talking about some guy who's wearing a ben shapiro t shirt or something or the the gadsden flag sure yet chris pratt. You wants to murder us all. I wonder if chris pratt likes being called racist. He probably loves it yeah. It seems he's not racist pretty open-minded therefore he loves being called races this favourite but isn't that uh isn't that the leftists thing like everybody's racist yeah seems to get at least how white people like even they say they are racist right but they yeah like they've paid pennants for it and are reformed racists. Yeah they're currently sanctifying themselves from their racism says lenzing themselves totally white though only white yeah well. That's the thing is you can't be racist. If you're minority literally redefined find the terms to where racism is prejudice plus power is what they say so. If you don't have power you cannot be racist. Then doesn't count it doesn't encounter. We're gonna actually gonna have cura. Davis davis becoming on a nightly yeah. That's that's whereas gone on your head is like you wouldn't be a heads like nightly but that can't be right can't be right yeah. She's gonna come on and talk doc about him. Roman kyle's coughing. They give him like please. <hes> talk about maurice type stuff. She's got. She's got credentials because she's he's a. He's mixed race so she's got. She's got like both feet and both doors so everybody doesn't like her. Yeah pretty much so does she. Half likes being called. Racist doesn't leave very torn on the issue so about this article. I just love this idea that that jesus is like just says this really knock knock you ass- thing love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you and then i think in the photoshop you put the first communist. The guy says this saints chief. That's like the most common thing i'll see on twitter when we posted an article in the people kind of like ruffles their feathers. There's always the guy that's it's like saying that chief a bunch of gifts for yeah the senate jesus like that just like oh that suttles saying chief okay. Thank you right so we move onto. What's next topic topic of the week the week we're gonna talk about bible able camp. Let's do this now the battle on top of the week right for main topic. We're going to get into church. Camp ebel cap camp jesus camp. Whatever you wanna call it just where christians take much a kid out in the woods just their way to the d._n._c. Have your way. You can't say that let's get connotations. They do the thing. I liked it nicely them. They're isolated. I liked you've just got all these kids that are bored in the summer in the moms and dads that are that are like a freshman year dislike. I don't know put him on this bus in the woods with strange strange people for me growing up you know church camp. Was this this <hes> mystical like mysterious enigmatic thing doing. It was like oh man we when i turned ten i get to go to church camp and your brother comes back for me at all. My older brother comes back and he's like you know oh yeah. I went to church camp. You know it was amazing. I can't talk about what happened there. You know it's like the way but he can't talk about they. Were making mysterious. They were harvesting organs okay. No i'm just joking so ethan <hes>. I think you had youth youth you. What is it called young young life. Yeah you'll have a little different <hes> i think but i've never been to official church campaign think amid a little tiny mini ones but a young life has a big resort camps like would leave. They have that one <hes> that were the rise niche colt used to be called big was called big muddy. Now it's weiler's canyon but that's where all up an oregon all of that huge colt lived out there and they're like poisoning the water supply and crazy orgies and stuff the church camp or the the rajini she called. Can you put in. Can you put in the show notes how we can sign up our i don't know if they still exist or not there. If you ever watch the wild wild country <hes> you know parental guidance. It's probably like a rated or something that is a documentary documentary on net flicks about that colt and it's bazaar watching it if you've been to that camp 'cause you recognize these spots there. So this young life took it over. Yeah i got somebody bader owned it and then donated donated teaching life gotcha yeah. That's kind of like calvary chapels. They always take over these old like strip clubs. Yeah polls everywhere everywhere. Yeah well just take over like old weird businesses like they used to be a burger king theaters. What's chapel theaters yes so anyway. I think we're gonna share our own church. Camp story go ahead. This isn't really. I mean this isn't philosophical. This is just experience. I had that embarrassing really so so i was here is my first time being a young life leader at a camp where i have my own cabin of kids to lead and i was kind of sitting at the <hes> kind of the main in hub of the whole camp and i had been spending my entire day blogging children <hes> that's gross the blob is a giant pillow of air that you you one person sits on one end of it and the other person jumps off a platform very high up lands in the blob. The air shoots up and the kids kids shoot up in the air. That's like was that in heavy weights yeah. I think we had one on at the camp. I went to also yeah like you can. Have you get a really small person on on one end and then a very large person like me yeah. You can like send them. Pass the floaty things that say where it safely out wherever i don't know what's dangerous past the floaty things but gators out there what i thought it was always lame. When you got you find your waited forever and then you got on the blog and the kid behind you was like this little twig fifty fifty eighty pounds. That's why i spent the whole day there because everybody loved me. That was the morbidly obese guy that was just launching people like crazy. They're like picking you up on their shoulders. Angus angus movie about the fact that he was like awesome rudy bobbing like a madman and your life was your life has all downhill. The rockstar yeah is your life all downhill from the from that from the blogging sitting out and it's it's really the main artery all the stuff the pool and everything the shop op. There's little ice cream store right next to us and then we're we're sitting is kind of the main spot where you have to take these stairs up to the cabin so it's the mainardi where everybody has to go through to get everything that's constant flow of traffic walking past times because it's a big camp with hundreds people and i'm sitting there talking to my guys and then some guy comes out of the where they're playing table tennis in a ball comes bouncing out and gets lost. Yes ball went and <hes> nobody nobody saw it but then he pointed at me and said <hes> and i don't know if i can say what he said he he basically related to the idea that he's found a ball but not the one that he was looking for that okay to say that on the spot guest. I guess it is now because my my shorts are ripped completely open on like just a little bit like i'm looking. I looked down and realized that like my testimonies. I don't know you'd call it. What's the christian word you would use for your my special. God given area was just completely wide open <hes> like sitting out on on display as if it was a museum or something like those michelangelo a carvings not well. There's no hiding it and and kids have been walking past meal that i'm a leader. I'm like a anyway so that was a that was really my story. There's a funny <hes> ending except that i just went running back back to my cabin chain pants so linger or what nobody would. The weirdest thing to me is nobody said anything they walk in. So many people ask me they had seen it 'cause it was not hidden like i was sitting in my legs apart. That's like ever sorry for the visuals are getting don't look pictures of me on the internet. That's like a bad dream. That's like nightmare status. They they jump up in a cold sweat forgot forgotten. My clothes and i met school taking a test. Oh you mean for me. I think for the people that saw me that is it's like that. It's like were you in a dream. We are in a public place then you look down and realize you're naked yeah. Oh oh that's why everybody's staring at me and then you wake up for me. It was like i looked down and realized oh i'm at camp and i'm a leader in this is just a dream. I sat laughing really loud and then i don't wake up this kind of a funny. I just pictured tackling and running onto the sense. Everybody knows everybody sing with. I mean i think maybe because they weren't aimed at meeting notice. Everybody laughing with omega shocked. Are you gotta get. You have a story to top happen. I don't i don't actually i can't top that. We didn't really have any. I didn't have anything absolutely wacky like that but i do remember like i said church this camp was this just this mystical thing and then you go and it's like the mountaintop experience of you know. They had these programs where like every night you had big campfire. You know i had a heart to heart talk and yeah. I went to <hes> forced home. They had a couple of camps. Yes i think that indian village which was the stay in teepees you know and there's a camp chief and he does little like powwow every night and they culturally appropriate great every term from native american and that becomes the church kanthi so you're saying the church camp after you into his highly racist so i might have accepted jesus or i might have accepted the great spirit. I'm not really sure i'm inhabited by the the spirit of the buffalo. This is pure racism right now. I'm one thirty second cherokee card carrying having my wallet right now. So i can make these jokes uh-huh i remember there was this <hes> counselor who want really wanted to read c._s. Lewis the chronicles narnia <hes> which is a fairly long series to read correct hold on through the book. I think he read. I think he picked one book. He wanted to read everybody the horse and his boy <hes> this is the worst one to pick so long. Yeah gibson is i'm reading it to my kids right now you can. I say that another podcast early we actually like we got like a third two thirds of the way through it and my kids and i all agree agree like we are just tired. We're not enjoying this. Apparently he wrote that book really fast. I heard that he like cranked. It out wrote in like three weeks or something yeah feels. Those like that feels like a book. That could really be like trimmed down to me. I wait in rolette. You're not allowed to criticize c._s. Lewis i <hes> yeah all hate mail ethan at babylon dot com but i actually think is a pretty good one because the whole message by the end you'll get back. We did finish it. It was like to say we finished. We have to re so we went back when we read the whole series went back and finished horses boy okay yeah we're like we're like three quarters of the way through so the big revelation like three quarters of the the way through is that azlan is the one who has been guiding them this whole time. There's like the cat the cat that sleeps with him when he sad and the line that scares off the hyenas and the one that attacks them and all of that was as calvin aesthetic. I appreciate it then like that a lot yeah so anyway mountaintop experience church canal ethan's done <hes> slamming one of the greatest authors of all time <hes> we all have our bad days now his bad day was that that hideous radius strength can't stand that book. I think in april exit a lot. He's the one that's posted about it on twitter onto yeah we'll have to. I'm gonna happen. Defend that hideous strength because i didn't understand it at all. I'm probably just not smart. I don't think i ever got through the whole space trilogy while the first two are amazing and that last one is just like it was. I think it i just didn't fit in the trilogy was a totally different thing anyway any camp so like he gets but it's weird because we have a week and this guy gets ten minutes with us. You know three or four times yeah so he's like reading the horse and his boy to us and we get to like we like one and a half chapters in and that was the end that was the end of one that was the end of his old. He didn't teach her anything well. He he just he just read the horses pointing everybody but he didn't get very you got one one and a half chapters in okay okay and it was like you guys got to read the rest of us when you get home yeah. It's like this idea of this guy. That has this massive. Tome and he's like guys. I love this book. Let's read it just excited. You're as excited yeah. You'd be like me like mike when my kids this age where they would let me read them anymore because they didn't care. They're getting older and they get their books faster or they just didn't like reading. <hes> <hes> is is this like hungary. Somebody like. I like reading books out loud. It's really fun but yeah so. I thought i could go out to homeless people in like hand the money money into i can i read. Can i read the hobbit. I'll pay five bucks. You could stand with a cardboard sign and yeah. We'll read the read to you for forgiving. We're giving you money or giving him up for negative money so i don't know i i feel like church camp. The whole thing is kind of manufactured in funneled towards his final night where you throw your skin in the campfire and everybody comes forward and there's almost this pressure off. Everybody must come forward and there's there's like the one kid who doesn't you know everybody everybody else walks to the front yeah and the pressure is on and you said you accepted cross that i did yeah young life camp <hes> yeah it was a bit different for me because when i went to camp i did not want to go at all. I had no interest. I thought a stupid also i was. I was a self proclaimed atheist at the time <hes> though they had been kind of almost state after he left a couple of times it was things were kind of happening in me but i i was actually working late night like three m paper out with my mom during that summer making money my mom's working all these crazy jobs and she could barely stay awake to do this job so she pay me to do. It and i wanted that money so my mom said i will pay you. Maybe a paid week off. I'll send you this camp. So my mom was poor. I mean she could. She could barely afford to do but she felt like. I really needed to go so i they went grudgingly basically got paid to go my mom and <hes> all my friends who are like other kinds of punk rocker grunge guys. We went in the first thing they did. When they get off the buses losses they went out to the woods with some they had someone had brought like some some gonna alcohol and they've all gotten we're all getting drunk and it would have been my first time drinking but something about i didn't even know why is this like i am not going to do it. I don't know i don't want to <hes> and i think i don't know that was kind of a dividing moment for me like i that whole week. I don't know it was like i could go these guys or not but they the weird thing. Is that almost everybody. They're accepted christ like they all came forward was very large amount of people and then once we got home yeah it was weird. It was like a they were looking at me like oh. You're still doing that. I thought that was just a thing. We're doing in the woods the camp out that we're going to go back to normal now yeah totally and so. I feel like that weird kid. If you stick with it because yeah i think so many people go up for the fun fun funding games or the you know maybe the parents sent him up there for to get rid of them and do the fighting games and it's probably similar to like when people are like really into drugs and stuff go out and have some crazy weekend again like they all get crazy like high and then they do all this crazy stuff and then they don't talk about it when they get home. We don't we killed a lot of people the very close to christian view of people who do drugs murderers yeah i injected acted one marijuana and then i went and slaughtered a bunch of people i'll i'll high on marijuana but it definitely isn't someone's almost like the sales pitch where you know you have to come forward and then i don't know i feel you come home and yet and then you're down on yourself on phnom screaming at my brother for you know as we're fighting over the gameboy or whatever a week later and it's like i guess nothing really did change in me. You know there's there's this whole pressure and i think we have a we have have a bad view of what salvation isn't what sanctification as we're you know. God doesn't change you immediately necessarily but that's kind of the change that we expect you know yeah. We're kind of in love with the idea of overnight conversion ryan the numbers to be able to report absolutely <hes> back to parents and people especially people are donating money to say like we <hes> converted five thousand children or whatever and <hes> which is not to completely disparage church camps. There's a huge it's really really good to get away from society in distractions and even just the beauty of nature. I think is really good to get out into and that is a great way to come. Come face to face with god. I think make sense but i just having that you know in mind that like we're making disciples. Not it just conversions you know and <hes> and that it's a it's a whole process. It's really a process. That's gonna take your whole life. It's not just an overnight. The thing that the ordinary faithfulness of following jesus is not as exciting as saying we saved three thousand kids right at this crusade or the church camp and so we gravitate towards the ladder and you know like is god excited by that number. Do you think or is that like i mean he you maybe in the bible. It says that they converted three thousand in one day in the book of acts and that was a big deal so i mean i don't think i don't think the numbers are necessarily. I get ad thing not a bad thing and god knows. God knows the truth. What's going on there and it's it's not even a bad thing. If somebody comes forward and then doesn't stick with it i mean it's a it's a it's a common term. The seed was planted. Thank i have had my head my own moments where i came a couple times before that time <hes> <hes> where i think i was just getting ready. We are digging into some stories that were sent in by our members of our facebook facebook group. We have the babylon be small group which is a funny name for a group of like almost seventy thousand split that many when i close was that thing to post it was like twelve thousand or something constantly so now we just kinda for the occasional be post but all right so there's some stories of people send in for about church camp this guy barry scott will says when my oldest son i went to camp at age six. He was elected as camper of the weekend was given a bible as a price on the way home he started to read it and you got to the story of lot and then he got off the bus and said i know where babies come from six. Oh man you know where babies come from is when when a man knows a woman is that what happened a lot. I'm trying to remember if i remember stories yeah well. I yeah i don't know if he's talking about the sodom and gomorrah thing or if he's talking about lawn and his lawn and his daughters in the cave it is yeah he may have had a messed up version of babies that were saying because the sodom and gomorrah story. You ain't gonna tell you how babies drew. I know babies aren't made. I might be lifted. The weird things does he got to the story of lot. I mean did you start at genesis in the beginning of genesis and get an early start right at the beginning. I actually added some lines to make him a little shorter and he said he's he. The sentence was his began at the beginning at the very beginning of the beginning so i guess he start right page. One was reading through but you'd figure out where babies came from before that before lot would you adam knew his wife yeah just from the word new yeah new every time maybe it takes a while every time the word new comes up. Wait wait a minute. That doesn't mean you kyle. Please stop yeah. This changes meaning that song different spelling for that version of no knowing well. There's there needs to be a fought like they tell us outside like you say really long scared new. I would get a translation of the bible that scare quotes around and never new his wife. I'd like it if there's a little asterix by new down at the bottom of the asterix's says imagine barry white music or just said you know what we mean. Wink wink wink. Wink wink little emoji. What were we talking about worried in store stories church kip this one <hes> comes from <hes> jennings lautenberg precent sorry like i said it was very graduated. Jennings lawton a priest like that name. He should be faster. The only summer i had church camp a church camp. Girlfriend caught the swine flu and the ads romans one eighteen for the wrath of god is revealed from heaven against all godliness and unrighteousness of men so i guess he's saying that god punished him for having a church camp girlfriend oh friend with swine flu. How do you have a church came. Girlfriend is that i mean is that just at the can't just at the camp and then you're done appaling like crazy allowed camps. Have i literally from day one or two. There's these guys like. I can never understand it. They were like an item with these girls. They'd be all over your the whole time snyder up together. I love you so much like the key buses would pull away. They're crying and that was their whole relationship man. I guess now you you need them to facebook or out to each other contact contact yeah yeah that's true. That's totally that's crazy. That was weird as kids like if you had a crush on a girl or whatever and you had to give them like your home phone number and then your parents would answer the phone. It's like his kyle there and they're like why this just like the super awkward you you trying to intercept the phone call and i once convinced myself that this girl would go on a date with me. If i asked her dad permission asian truth she wanted nothing to do with me we but i i built up a friend that convinced me this because she was very like you thought the way to get to her was to ask her dad and then she would see this as a romantic yeah she was very christian like okay and my friend actually vince me this like my roommate at the time and it was like like eighteen or nineteen and she's and he's like she's very traditional man like he got it like i think what it is 'cause. He thought that we were at item. We had to be together and because he had like match made the man from matchmaker and so i like worked up the guts and call her. Dad never talked him a day in my life. He's the scary lake farmer guy and when i asked him he kind of just started laughing nothing because i guess she wants to get you it's between her and us not and that when she next time he saw me shoes laughing to who like it was like oh man embarrassed and that's how ethan met his wife nope church camp tipco friend about this so this kid. I don't know i don't know this. Is this one a church camp. This is from tyler. W matthews is was a church camp. I went to the child where the theme was. The enemy of my enemy is my friend does an interesting thing for church camp. Just it's a weird logic to to use the us this two pit satan against you as your enemy and the enemy of satan is jesus and you should tag team with jesus against satan. I like the idea that you're just teaming up with jesus out of this convenience yates eighty eight satan. That's the only good thing about him because isn't the idea of the enemy of miami. Is my friends like that's. That's the one thing you have in common. You don't like them that much but otherwise you'd have nothing to do with your allies of convenience jesus. He just doesn't like satan so he must be all right like i always seem like it seemed like the left teams up with with muslims a lot because they don't want christians like terrorists like they're always like really let go. They just say muslim terrorists not just not all muslims not all muslims. There's this weird like this weird thing where they don't condemn muslim islamic islamic terrorism as bad as they do. Christians christian people said this word within its like anyway. That's a whole tangent but it has that feeling to do it. We'll do a whole <hes> muslim episode. We're going to do all muslim just for you. He can rant about muslims doing here. What am i talking about this anyway a bit hokey but <hes> so this theme says rang a bell the kids there my church super fundamental and didn't allow us to read a talk about harry potter because they were literally afraid. We'd we'd start casting spells on each other something anyway. My smart aleck friends and i started a voldemort fan club. Why because my pastor told me that my enemy is harry potter and his enemies voldemort. The enemy of my enemy is my friend so he's doing math. Here is a this is a beautiful mind and that's why my pastor nearly got run out of the church when we said you think he really got nearly rented a church pitchforks and torches in hand grenades when he said that he told us that voldemort was our friend. You told our children develop into their friend. Never underestimate the spiteful power of honor roll fifth graders critical thinking skills. Do you think that there is brilliant as he thinks they were. I do like that. His one accomplishment in life was like that he looks back on so life pastor at a church well. I was gonna say being being on the honor roll and fifth grade yeah. I was on the honor roll. Yeah i noticed a mate we we. We had our kids in public school for awhile and we went. I went to the award award. Ceremony is like everybody's honorable now really well now. I'm saying now it was weird. It was oh really they do like they do like presidential presidential order principal's award and then you sit there while they call out the names of all two hundred kids and they all they all go up there and hold up a certificate hearse nelson elsa down then they go and now the honor roll and it's a little bit fewer kids but still it's like one hundred fifty kids. Going people think of this have kids do i. I don't want this feels like the thing like a professor type person with think of like oh. This is good for them. Psychologists psychological. They've never sat through one of these stupid ceremonies yeah. They should just say all of you. They should make the kids go up there. Who didn't get an war if you did not get now the children who did not get an award three three kids. It gets slapped well anyway. I don't know if that logic takes out with the harry potter enemy of my enemy a friendly. It doesn't yeah i like this. One girl. Hannah says that i'm at church camp. They played a game called fishing eels which on its face. It sounds like it's just just to excuse and ladders yeah or like. Did you ever play sharks and minnows. No it was like it was just a game where you chase each other and if one team the sharks one teams the minnows multiple people are tagging chasing you that it's just hack what about like it's calling rubber monkey caveman something like <hes> cowboy chicken you turn around into your the rock rock paper scissors yeah yeah we'd like that. It's not rubber. Monkey gave mammoths like we did like bear hunter guys jeez or something not the the bees so anyway. This girl says that fishing heels and i'm like okay whatever vision neil now he says when which there would fill the camp pool with phishing emails from from how they capture them and campers would jump into catch them punch their hands. She's got a funny punchline here but it it almost doesn't to me. That's the best part that's the part that they as she says her friend lost. <hes> one of the campers lost their. We've <hes> in the pool and then it got kind of like a wig right but not for bald people. It's just like once one small part of it that adds to your hair asked my wife. She cuts hair okay honey. What's a we've <hes>. She do my hair. She could do your hair your hair your wife uh-huh well yeah. You always wonder why you always have a fresh haircut. Yeah very good stylist and always look like you're like will use okay. Kyle doesn't seem mickey showers very much whoa he's got to bed but i always noticed that the hair you're on the back of your hair like always. Has that new like first day at school. Look oh yeah. I think it's just weird like usually guy who always looks like he got out of bed. His hair would be like just super long shaggy but makes it's all coming together. Thanks uh-huh insulted so anyway. She says her friend lost a we've in the pool and it was caught as an eel and awarded points for you but uh-huh but i'd like to circle back and revisit the idea of dumping a bunch of fish healer presumably chlorinated pool. What is that like urine eel get into the ahead of an eel. You just got dumped into. I don't know how you got caught. I don't know if you got caught with a hook or a big net and <unk> this blue hill where your eyes have gotta be burning your breathing chemicals giant hands trying to grab you. I'm i'm closing my eyes and in china magic this ah yeah this nightmare does not like a nightmare. It seems a little bit cruel to animals be honest. I'm almost going to call that. This is fake news this fake. How do i remember art are how'd you can't would put fish in there yeah. They put actual fish in the pond no but in the pool how do you catch on and put them in the pool is is a lot of camps. Have these like we call the mill pond at would leave and there's so many fishing there and they're those like really aggressively hungry like you can like spit in the water and they'll come up and get it so they're really easy to catch. You can get a bunch pretty easy so by it. I don't know about the eagles but get a big net and your even just i mean and yeah net you. You put a little piece of food on top of the lake bunch of fish come to get it and use scoop them up. Probably i believe i believe that you could do that. It would leave camping. I remember we had there was a game and now remember looking back when they throw alive a couple of fish in the pond and like who teams would try to catch it. Sorry i'm just i'm just saying it happens real. Mrs incredible read this one. This one isn't it's not technically funny. I just bring a lot of interesting ideas to me. It's funny stuff. Chris rice says the only time i ever went to a church camp was an i turned turned eighteen and i was told that our local assemblies of god district was putting a weeklong spiritual warfare camp at a district campground. Nothing about church camps have repealed me whatsoever but the idea of learning spiritual warfare sounded amazing to me in a whole week of it simply amazing once i got there i found out it was operated like a military boot camp and is intended for troubled teens or who had discipline problems is operated by some old military vets so he went voluntarily to this looking thinking. It'd get again teen being like you know. It's like that show scared straight or whatever i was anything but a problem teenager also i. I didn't drive there so there was no escape. It was one of the worst weeks of my life we had to line up an order the whole sir yes sir but there were a demerits and punishments and lots of marching a demon battling camp of eighty that they have like like demon dummies up on like sticks and the charging adam with with new rifle in your band stabbing. It is like a a minefield is he's like i imagine there's like landmines and like on the mind says like lust gluttony and like you're trying not to hit the minds harry potter harry potter's blue. Ooh i asked my bag. Let this be a lesson to you kiss. So do you think carmen operated this camp. There has to be some church camps where carmen visited or still he still live talk. He died but he these a life coach now. Be amazing career ended up like cancer. I think yeah he overcame overcame it with the spiritual warfare demon. There's a great carmen music video uh-huh where he goes into the warlocks house <hes> and it's got all the tropes like the crystal ball in the ouija board dragons books and he's he's like wrapping against the warlock. I love satan bite the dust where he's like go he goes an old saloon and he's like a country singer and there's all these weird the demon guys like with these crazy hollywood makeup on kinda like half alien weird demon creatures but they're wearing cowboy outfits and each one is like spirit of alcoholism alcoholism spirit of temptation spirit of and he's like gun in them all down. He's just like blasting people who got the whole video. I like all of the carmen metaphors than it uses like gunslinger. I'm a medieval knight. I'm fighting the warlock. Gotta do a carbon episode. We gotta get them on. You can get calm aw i doubt you'll you'll come on. Maybe i don't know anybody know carmen out. There sent an email all right. Let's do one more and then go into our hate mail. This is <hes> from robert jeffrey chris smith and he says as a grown man i went to john eldredge inspired wild at heart men's weekend because there was this whole phenomenon like fifteen years ago where making the bible for men again recapturing masculinity shoot due to gun running. It's fine to punch people in a bar because that's what jesus would have done. Yeah it says that the shoot shoot stuff and kicking a bear in efface you some mud wrestling with some bears and that was kind of the whole gist of it so anyway he says yeah we got the gist after one sermon at this camp we were all asked to walk in prayer to walk in prayer to ask god what his name for us was was god. Apparently god has a special name for each of us a voice in the back of the room said. I hope it's not sally to me. That guy said the joke was more masculine than the whole idea that you have to go walk by a pond and like walk around a bunch instill the spirit. Tell your new name mm-hmm. That sounds like something that i hate to say that a a lady a lady bible study leader would come up with it's bob bob. That's the awkward. That's as awkward things you like you. Go out and deal. You know you're trying to think well your hoping that you can be clever because of hopefully it's a spirit but you're like what would you what would like the christian answer that be what's a good. My name is israel where i struggle struggle with i. I guess that's probably where it comes from. Right is the bible but what they didn't do that though they didn't go all right. God's going to give you a name now because we're had a retreat and when you go walk around the pond they come back. He's going to give it to you. I think l. god to give you a name right now. And i think a lot of bad theology comes from taking like one instance in the bible well yeah but described something and say like institutionalize it like now all three hundred you in this camp. We're gonna get a new name because that's what we have to do here at this program to go walk around the lake a a lotta times in the bible it was like it you just change the name little bit right yeah like <hes>. What's an example that you're the theologian here like <hes>. I don't know los peterlee. Abraham abram. Peter was simon peter. I like that yeah well. There's like little anthem blancan and blink abraham and abraham abram neighborhood the song paul thing but i don't think that yeah song paulie just changes the letter. I think twitter like things where they like. Change a letter to ruin a movie yeah but i don't think paul's name actually <music> changed like a like. Maybe it wasn't exactly spelled like that. Well saw paul rupaul. <hes> uh i don't think it was actually changed like because of his conversion i think there was a just two different ways to refer to but we take it as he was song became paul but that's actually what is this and read through the book bags right now and it doesn't say that we just added that wasn't wasn't sold to paul so so jesus that naga way change his name what yeah i'm gonna rip off. I'm blowing your mind. Holy cow that while the heart so if i say one thing about john eldredge he did this. He had this crazy blog. Post is the author of wild heart. He this crazy blockbuster a few years ago where it was like jesus appeared to me as a pirate pirate he says jesus appears to him and like not manifest himself itself in all these ways like he's walking and he sees a rock shaped like a heart out. Here's jesus jesus and then it's like cactus that actually might have been at sun or something and says my son told me that jesus disappeared look like a pirate winked at him. Okay that's all. I have nothing else to say it yeah like he like cancelled now from christian inconsequential them by just cancel the i remember i of supernova booklet came out rohingya too and i i think there is something to the capturing recapturing recapturing masculinity elderly yeah it was more. I think the book had a lot of problems but i do think it spoke to a need that we had at the time that everything in the ninety s was like those really cheesy. Worship signs like john koster. Janati gotten very feminine so i think it was speaking to a need. I don't think it did it in the right way but okay anyway now that we've slammed a twenty year old book. We're gonna move onto our this idea. When you get back and you have to come with your name that you had but it's secret share it share it. <hes> aw say i think god's special name that he calls you is usually it's like yet. Come getting a circle and like all right. What did god say your name is say my name is horatio jio secretary nonstick thing like you just you elevate yourself just level at least at least half these guys. Probably all of them made this up right now anyway. Now we can move on. I just wanted i you can call me. Hook god changing my name to spider man all right here. We go hate mail to do it. <hes> <music> recording so you know this is my. What do you think that wasn't a professional. I was trying to be professional. Was i not using my recording voice. I'm just scared because we we did a whole port. Oh i didn't record on accident hundreds and kyle. It's live now acting like an idiot. I now want to confirm every time we start a new segment that i am recording and it's like the the satire notice this tower. This was that this is still recording. This is a recording this just recorded. We're not actually in your phone literally really talking to people listening right now. We have a secret name for you. Listeners spider-man's sally allie okay so here we go. I have been a fan for a while and if they can't get they could never do it. I never and i read them a budget beforehand so it shouldn't be funding any more. I have been a fan for a while and printed out many of your pages to share with others. I that's ages ages laughter but i do know that nobody are aged prints out stuff from the internet. It can hold it up on your phone but did send the link due to your slams against president trump. I am considering removing you from my life. What does that involve removing from their life because even if they quit the email list they're running email guessing. We're still kind of in their life. They might get shared so they might have to actually come find us. Someone emailed us the other day and said. How do i cancel the babylon. Be like like not not not. How do i cancel the subscription or how do i cancel seeing you on social media. How do i cancel the babylon. The whole thing your entire life we already did taken but man. This would be a good taken during removing life. I don't know i'm thinking in old person voice we listen to we do the old person voice defend our or try our baby boomer audience rambo stallone's rambo still love his name backslash flashing silvester leaving rambo stallone what i liked it his name sylvester like he's big hulking guiding. Hey sylvester guys named celeste. Your laugh been a fan hand for awhile printed out many of your pages to share with others but dude your ores slams against president trump considering removing you from my life so yeah printing out the pages from the internet. That was something i did like in the ninety s because we didn't have internet and if i got to go somewhere where there was the internet it was like oh oh this is so cool yeah yeah print print out out me to bring it home. It got all this cool stuff. That's how you shared means with your friends. You printed entered a mild and then ran over your check out the sick me along with jokes yeah along with the joke a joke list. You know my dad's still <hes> publicist. The parking is going to hear this he would he would like print out his favorite babylon be articles in the father's thank you but he'll print them out and like leave him around the house. I got my article printed out. That's cool. There's something special about senior. Words like on a pay meal. Oh yeah that's what's kinda nice like. I don't want this person to stop putting our articles out cool actually they. We should add a feature to our website where you can like filter out. Never never see trump joke if you can't handle it. That's a great idea like i can't handle like the i can't handle this. Don't make fun of us. Choose what you can't stand. Yeah you check off if your triggers when you sign up my triggers can make them babylon be a safe space face. The world's first safe satire spins so if you work at snoops you you could just choose. I can't handle folks yeah and then any humour website turns white. It's gone like yeah right right well. Was that our show have. We said we'd done it. We did it and we successfully recorded it. Did it's recording ooh all right everyone well. We're gonna continue with skype subscribers for a little bit so <hes> if you'd like to be cut subscriber go to babylon dot com slash plans and what are we doing. We're gonna do some church camps stories and maybe some <hes> unused headlines like that and then write a check and stick it in your keyboard and do that if you want to send us money lots of little slots and holes and laptops just shove money any whole any and ethan would like to think seth dylan for paying the bills adam ford for creating their job the other writers or tirelessly pitching headlines the subscribers and you blow listener until next time. This is davy andrea the the voice of the babylon. Be reminding you to go forth and do life together.

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