BONUS ACS EPISODE: Dan Crenshaw, John Hiatt, and Graham Parker Live from the Houston Improv
Thanks for listening to ace on the House on podcast one. Hey It's Adam Corolla. Thanks for hearing me out. I did a live or live by live show. I should say in Houston with Dan Crenshaw. Who's a war hero? Your member from Saturday night live and the whole controversy anyway. He's a congressman. He's a hero. We had a great dialogue up on stage. And it's all here for you to enjoy thank you streaming live from the Improv in Houston Texas courtesy of by live and podcast one. This is the Adam. Corolla show Adams guest today. Us Congressman Dan Crenshaw Talk to the president of the Houston food. Brian Greene plus performances from Graham Parker and John Hiatt and now such a pessimist. He sees. Today's socially distanced audience as half empty. Not Half Full Adam Karol. Wow We got a lot of heroes tonight. Dan Crenshaw hero his joined us. I I think we have a lot of first responders here tonight. So tip of the CAP. Clap Clap for you guys when I when I say clap I don't mean the venereal disease I mean actual come on anyone over forty who remembers venereal diseases called the clap nicer than herpes sounding so We're going to pay homage. A couple of folks that have really helped out here and then we'll go right into the show. I we should bring up. Let's see got the wrong card here. Let me make sure got the right card. Oh Yeah I got the right car from the Houston Food Bank. Brian Greene is here. Come on up front socially distance. But you're well I'm trying. Why don't you try into this? Microphone just of tell us what the Houston food banks. All about. Well foodbank. Normally we provide food assistance for families in need. It's just right now. It's dramatically changed. It was almost like a curtain dropping on the economy and so we've been distributing about a million pounds a day wound through all these different site distributions. Spend a lot of work and all the money from today's show is going to the Houston Food Bank. I've never been to a food. Bank up into drive through. Bank is their thing where like the drawer slides out it just filled with Chile and show up with your own. Ladle our people come to you or you bringing it to everybody. So food banks themselves distribution centers. So we don't actually serve people directly we work with all these different charities Muslim church pantries that are doing the distribution. Well not only is the money that's been raised here today. All going to the Food Bank. But I believe Tom Castio. Who's manager here at the Houston? Improv is going to bring out a check and I think we have a little matching funds situation. Tom Tom Maybe in the back firing employees right. I heard him yelling. Got Some folks Tom. Are you come on up because We have a taste in here for Brian. Yes well. We'll socially distanced but this is a ceremonial chack. Do not try to take this to a check cashing place in Hammer. This check Brian. This is ceremonial check. But yes go ahead. Go AHEAD TOM. I just want to say I wanNA thank first of all. Thank Adam because what he's done. This week is incredible. I Dunno if you guys realize he's donating all this all his money that he's made this week the staff and the Food and grabbing comedy business for thirty years. I'm actually the owner and the not a lot of guys like this. Okay you guys. I know you guys know him. He's your guy really appreciate that. Also want to tell you guys were matching. What Adams raised so I think the toll donation? Today's twenty thousand dollars. Thanks a lot. Thank you guys and Brian Greene. Tom Castio you're doing the Lord's work. Thank you very much and thanks for what you do. It is true that all the money. I'm raising over. This weekend is either going to the Food Bank or go into the folks who work here the guys in the kitchen the folks making the drinks and bring the food but I also got a haircut and it was a nine thousand dollar haircut. We have to back that out so and I flew here privately and I've had surf and turf for every meal and again we have to back that all out so I'm going to need you to pass the hat. So the servers could go ahead and contribute. Because I got to be made whole before I leave. Thank you. You're all here. Dan Oh the book sorry fortitude. I'm looking for guys read or listen to Dan's book fortitude. It is all you need. And it's all your kids needs and it's all America needs a huge fan of this man. I saw him originally on Saturday night. Live like many of you did and I saw the way he handled that and I just thought it was so graceful that you had a sense of humor about being the butt of a joke and went on the show and show that you could take a joke and then give some back and I let why don't you talk about the mindset to that approach. Wake up Sunday morning you find out that some scrawny kids been talking shit about you and your first reaction is what good question first of all. Thanks everybody for being here and supporting the Houston Food Bank. Really thank you for supporting Adams private flights. La Guys. They needed to come here. Welcome to freedom. It is it was so weird the first night after being in total lockdown living in a shark cage. La You WanNa go outside your house that cut out in a shark cage you pick it up you can walkabouts like Hell Week. Coronado make it about eighteen feet. Shut down your cast out teammates or yelling at you. Tough tattling on. We went out and had steak and a Martini on Thursday night. And I just couldn't believe it because it's like the greatest thing ever for me is I work really hard and then going out for a drink at a steak is is the reward and of course in L. A. There is no carrot at the end of the stick but they do have the stick. Yeah especially if you're surfing alone because there's nothing more dangerous than alone surfer. Oh my God you know given Corona virus to well. I guess sharks. I mean you brought up the Shark Katie. So to answer your question though The man this happened so long ago. It's almost surreal to think about getting from there to here and woke up the next day. I haven't watched Saturday night. Live live Saturday night since I was in high school but it but it was a staple of US growing up I used to watch it back before. Netflix's and TV and all that and but the next egg all these text messages from from friends. And they're they're mostly making fun of me like They got you seal team's right this kind of people. I'm I'm with so they love watching me. Just get just get raked over the coals. But they're also kind of pissed because they get direct me over the coals. They don't like it once like some skinny comedian does it. And it was more annoying than anything else it was. It was lost on me at the time. I was not aware at the time of the significance of that event for my own life yet. Now for for those. Who Don't know what happened. Pete Davidson but just showing. He was contributing to S. and L.'s. News and he was just showing pictures. Politicians mostly Republicans and then sort of making jokes at their expense and they put up a picture of you and said you looked like a porn. The hitman in a porno a hit man in a porn of and that wasn't the offensive part. That part makes you think you're like what does that look like. There's a lot of questions that arise that arise dot com. That's not what made everybody mad. What made everybody mad when it's when he said when he sort of apologized for and I know sorry lost his eye on war or whatever and he said like that whatever it felt a little bit like an ad. Lib felt a little bit kind of like an accident. But it's kind like he meant it and it made everybody really mad and so the the way the way. I analyze the situation in my book is. I said there's basically two ways this could have gone and it was a perfect storm of events that allowed us to sort of make America. Feel good about it and but it could have gone much differently because what normally happens in that situation is we unleashed the outrage mop. And we just unleash twitter mob and we'll we'll get these guys will get him good. Maybe we'll get him fired. Maybe we'll get him canceled. Get people to stop advertising with them and they were getting threats of that anyway. Actually and what would have happened? Well Saturday night. Live probably would have backed into their corner. Maybe they would have profusely apologized. Maybe they would have just weathered the storm either way. Nobody would feel really good about it in the apology would have been coerced. Would've been lake al Qaeda you know had some CNN film crew denounce America because they captured them and some rat hole to Crete. So I know that World Dan explain it to you later after the show country. The point is no who wants to force apology either. Like that's unsatisfying right. But that's sort of what our culture forces us. That's what our culture expects. These days forced apologies. But it's not a real apology and the outrage mob. Never really subsides. They still hate you though. Still try to cancel you and and so instead we thought okay he clearly. They were clearly making jokes aimed at conservatives. It was right before the election. That was obvious that bias was obvious but it wasn't necessarily as obvious that they also hate wounded veterans. So maybe we can. Maybe we can even though he said it. Maybe we can get some benefit of the doubt and I went back to a phrase that I that I had gotten from a Harvard professor. Who was I did? My masters just no big deal the Texas. A&m of the East is declare. And did they started off the semester. He says while you're here try hard not to offend others and try even harder not to be offended and I thought that was a really deep but simple way of putting it given the atmosphere that we're in and I think this professor was tapping into what we all understood to be true about college. Campuses these days. And that always stuck with me that stuck with me from orientation but that really stuck with me. That's what I said. That was my statement at the time and I thought it was. I thought a balanced just right and because we gave them. That benefited out they. They brought me on and I got to go on and and America felt pretty good about it and I'll say this to I. Don't talk about this in the book. I don't know I should have maybe in hindsight because it's a great compliment to myself. Steven Spielberg was in the back on that on that that night on that show he was. I guess he was in town filming for something that night you came in. I was there so they give him. It's a very small stage. I mean honestly. It's not that much bigger than this. And they give a little section on his own. He's got cheese and crackers and wine and things just for Steven Spielberg and I got to talk to him. After I did my set and he gave me some really cool compliments. He said you got great. Comedic timing even Funnier Than Adam. Corolla and you can have a real future in Hollywood and I was. I was like that's awesome. But it was just me and him. There was nobody else listening and I said this is not good I need I need witnesses and my wife was a somewhere across the stage right watching causing perform or something. She was the guest that night and I was like. I'm over here teric over here and Mr Spielberg You. Just go ahead and say what you just said again. It was really awkward. But I don't care because I got a witness in my wife. Who is here now cannot deny that he did say this. I'll say hi to my wife. I don't know where she's at but then Dan says Spielberg. You should make a war movie one of these days. I love all the Shit. But make some grady like World War Two like Normandy storming the beach German pill boxes and machine guns so yeah. Let's talk a little. I always think about I think about war because I think more about the location. I mean obviously the parts were there. Bullets flying in bad guys everywhere. That's a negative but then there's also there the environment like you see all those Vietnam wars and it's during torrential rain monsoon season. Everyone's got leeches on the back of their neck and they're they got the rot. That foot rot and the mud and stuff and they're sleeping on the ground with Charlie Sheen. It's a disaster. Then he see saving private Ryan and they're going through the rolling hills of the French countryside. You're like well you still got German shooting at you but not too shabby other than that. You know what I mean. They complaining about some of the places you've been and maybe it's just because I don't like dust. I hate dust. It feels weird. I'm going to shower up talk. And then the helicopter landings with all the dust wine everywhere. Dust is what gets you right to the face and everything but what's the dust. It's the little fear hair. Yeah it is true blown up by that was one thing but days later there was still dust in my hair. Now we're talking now. You're on my pay true. Ever see one of those camel. Spiders one of those giant spiders or scores or something. Good and deadly the desert. What's what's the hottest it's been for. You only can get up and I think Iraq was hotter than Afghanistan. At least it felt that way to me. I was also blown up in June. I was blown up in June. I left after that and so I didn't know it gets a lot hotter in July and August but not the blowing up season there. You want to get April everyday. It was getting warm warm. But you know you're looking at a hundred and thirty one hundred and forty degrees and Iraq though we always operated at night so it's only one hundred and fifteen degrees at night so miserable and your Harry and fifty pounds. I mean you're all I mean. You got the flak jackets on helmets pat water provision. I mean so not only like now this may sound gay but I fight and a speed. You could argue. Maybe the straightest endeavor of all time but you're packed up your your layered and it's one hundred and fifteen degrees outside right. Yeah I mean you just kind of learned to deal with it. It's just uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable with the dusk. Dies gets in your teeth. What I'm saying. Yeah there are some places in Afghanistan. That really are unbelievably beautiful. So it depends that we we were we operated in Kandahar province mostly about the southern area. That's this desert moon dusty place that you're talking about you go a little bit north. You're in these beautiful mountains. You're seeing these rivers. Come through it. You know. We're in the wintertime. We're trudging through three feet of snow with these crazy mountains that you've just never seen anything like it. It's unbelievable beautiful. So it's it's we were. We would think like. Wow we could. We should start some adventure like tourism company. You need a SIP. Lie and zip-line don't forget the ZIP line man you can take all these rich folks that there's there's Taliban shooting at you it's exciting. Yeah yeah the ultimate tough mudder. Yeah Right Mutter here again. You and your rich buddies can drive your Range Rover to the park and crawl on your elbows through some mud. Some guy hit with a host. But CAV you've been shot at I've been was a Soviet rocket-propelled-grenade they're not that accurate. They're not saying the are much more worrisome. Yeah because you never know where they're going to put these things in right about these things in my book because the random were on this month one mission where there was it was truly out in the middle of nowhere and improvised explosive device. Right right and as opposed to an IUD which is a wife has a funny story about that we have friends would be like to hang out hit by an IUD lost his side starts wrong in Utah Role. We don't have to okay. We don't have to do it just in case okay. A couple of buddies of mine they. They actually sat on top of this random hilltop that rand. There's a reason they sat there. There's a good view it's a good. It's a good fire position to take while people are moving through the village below. It's a good point and I guess I guess Taliban who had been there in the past also knew it was a good point and they sit down and hear this like clack and it's a small explosion a big one because any any detonation needs to be set off by smaller. Detonation just generally how explosives work and they set off the smaller detonation. But it didn't set off the main charge. Thank God because there was about fifteen pounds of extra charge there that could killed them instead of just spooked him. It's just it's crazy where they put these things they're everywhere and it's a they make them. Do they make them on the spot like did they make them? You know are these locally sourced locally harvested three range the amazing Afghanistan movement they farming to some Chinese factory or they all kind of making them at on the spot like a farmer's market. It's more of a. It's very locally. Sourced Nick Yeah you WANNA locally source this stuff just like made in the USA movement here. They've got the Taliban have that as well in Afghanistan. So they they we call them little factories but really they're just abandoned buildings and they get in there and these are very simple so these are fertilizer compounds. They just put in there. Maybe fifteen pounds of that. That's the explosive part. Some wires and batteries and some just wood panels. That's really all you need. Is that the factory. That makes the I like you know that. Sign the have up days since last accident. There must be a guy who never even gets off the a frame ladder like come on now so wasted time. Soon as I get down I gotta go right back up again. They have higher labor standards than you might really. It's all Taliban. Dosa very concerned about they bury them in the ground there. But they're remotely said detonated off it sometimes. Sometimes it's much easier to have them pressure plates because all you need to do is basically up to would panels wrapped in wire when those two wires hit each other it completes the circuit and blows it up a remote command detonated. Means there's a wire moving somewhere that's much more dangerous for them because they have to be You got to be able to run away a little us. They much prefer the pressure plates. The one that got you was one that your translator stepped on just in front of you right right right if I had stepped on it. I lost both my legs easily. He lost all lost. Both legs both Arnold Farms. Yeah Museum smaller guys. So he was How far physically was he in front of you are probably right here? Probably this distance wiped jinx radioed. That guy the point to me now. I'm going to step on something later. You never know you never know. Ryo so by five sixty. Yeah so you guys were socially distancing. Yeah yeah there's a there's a there's a you know it's funny. The six foot rule has long been known to seals. And this is why because but students buds is seal. Training writes the first six months. It's the crucible that we all go basic underwater demolition slash seal training yet right and so that's that's hell week. That's all that and instructors always. There's a rule that students always have stay six feet away from instructors. The reason is is because students are gross there. Yeah they are. They're gross and they've covered in bacteria they're going in and out of the ocean not that clean and southern California because Tijuana is always dumping crap into it. It's Republicans blame Mexico. I can't it current Ya you got your crowd here but I'm GonNa tell you my nanny my garner my pool man all for Mexico so when I'm yelling at them what to do I haven't certain respect anyway. There's a lot of bacteria in the ocean because from Sweden. So you're covered in this stuff and it does spread disease like it's what makes people sick disease instructors. Are you know? They don't want any of that on them. And so you're always yelling at but students are always running around the compound and sometimes instructors will actually get close to students like sixty eight. Oh so sorry. We've known known the social distancing role on patrol. You gotta be six feet or way more than six feet. Actually because you don't WanNa be all bundled up and get hit with a rocket-propelled grenade but when you're talking about in the book going on patrol and you're talking about in an area where there maybe which is everywhere. You guys actually walk in a line together to obviously literally minimize your footprint on that road which obviously then makes it more dangerous configuration for combat. Yeah it's it's not a good tactical formation. If if you want to be in a firefight with somebody you want to be spread out. You WanNa have different. Maneuvering elements the base of fire. Maneuvering element but it's not that complicated but a line isn't so great you you only go in a line and you know maybe you're going a long distance but even then we wanna be staggered but we have to into line because one line is cleared. And you WanNa make sure you stay on that line. And that's just what you do so your interpreters about six feet in front of you. He steps on this. It kills him although not instantly not instantly but he's very severely wounded. And then you get hit sort of sort of everywhere right you always in this position and all of a sudden. I wasn't and I don't. I don't believe I lost consciousness if I did. It was only a split second but it just it feel it. Feels like he got hit with a truck and a lot of people in that truck shot with a shotgun and then PORT TABASCO SAUCE. All over you. Wow it's sort of that sort of getting because I was. I was hit with the concussion of it but it was. It was mostly a fragmentation wounds. So just from top to bottom and they put all sorts of nasty stuff in there. Jason Yeah because we're pulling bolts out of my hand bolt. Yeah like bolts and screws and things and those aren't necessarily part of an I-I've they probably added those things? Let me taste about the bolts. I bet they were metric. Now I like working on cars standards essay. That's made in America. My friend right. You did not pull out any three eighths half inch or nine sixteenths. That ship was seven. Millimeter nine millimeter. It's what the rest of the world uses to blow up and that ain't American. May that much day right now. Know what they say. There's two types of countries the ones that have won two world wars back to back and kind of the metric system. That's right now so you you remain conscious this entire time at least to the best year now age. You know you know it's bad but you don't know how bad it is right. No I I mean I know I know I have my the first thing I did was check my legs and I had those and so. That's a good thing I couldn't see. I never for a second assumed that my eyes were damaged. There's I don't know why I didn't assume that I just didn't and I just assumed there was dirt him. It was. It was a bit of self-deception a very healthy self-deception honestly in hindsight and that self-deception would continue for weeks. Frankly with changing from okay. I might even hurt to okay. I'm hurt but I'm easily going to see again. Even though the doctors really didn't think I would ever see again. And so I I remember very vividly the actual experience I remember talking to my good friend medic who came over wrapped me up here. Raft me up there. I complained about stomach pain. That was the hardest hit seemed to be. I thought I had shrapnel shooting through my abdomen. It turned out not to be the case. It was badly peppered but it was nothing that deep I mean the worst wounds were down here because that was the closest to the bomb. My face did not look good. I've very few pictures from this whole thing but I do have a picture a week later. I mean well after words in my face. It looks like I got shot in the face. With a shotgun. That's basically what it looks like in the rest of my body looks the same but for the most part I was able to actually get up by the end of it. And just walk to the Hilo not a chopper. Arnold Schwarzenegger calls at a chopper. We'd have to remind people of that. What is it choppers anything chopper? I'm a motorcycle. Yeah but not a Hilo technically now now know if anybody in the military ever says hey the choppers year everybody will make fun of them and say all the JOPPA. That's too so you know so like every military movie. Here's the thing. I don't know much about the military but I am a journeyman carpenter so every time I watch your movie where the hero is carpenter I go. It's so fake. Look at him. He's using a waffle ended framing hammer when he should be using a Finnish. Amer those movies like where they grabbed the framing gun. And you hold it at the bad guy they fire. You Know Mel Gibson fires it. I'm like the compressor's not even on come on and you gotta pull the safety back at the end. Spring loaded fake. Oh every fifth movie is a military movie. See for me. The carpentry movies are few and far between but the military movies are every other weekend. And they're all ruined for you because they're calling this shit getting better. They're getting a lot better You know all of these. There's a lot of seal movies that got made posts bin Laden raid. They were all a little too good in a lot of cases. Where you're thinking you're kind of giving away a little too much. Oh really yeah you know what else I hate. Though is this still happens no matter what where every time somebody points in. Everybody will understand this. We're in Texas and everybody's a gun owner but when you draw your weapon doesn't make the slide action sound at Toronto really serious and when you're really serious than it makes another maybe they cock it or whatever it's just not it's not what you do. I'm I'm a carpenter or not a gun guy but that drives me insane because you point it doesn't mean it's GonNa make another noise. I'm really serious. Also the one where they get about halfway into the warehouse and then at some point that guy goes eight. Do that in the parking lot. Coming prepared repaired pair. You run through halfway dark warehouse. How you're doing this if you're in a platoon and you heard a guy like racquet. Were you not ready? Five minutes that we started five minutes ago. What are you doing? And it's not like racking. The weapon is like one of those weird spring load timers in a sonnet bad hotel. Where like you have to do it again right now. It doesn't work that way the work that way the one. That's the one that's equally as bad as the every time I hold the gun. It makes a new one that drives me insane. But withdraws re more insane is when the guys like wearing his toga and he pulls the knife out of his underpants shipping. You don't do that. Worse is Shinko. That sound come from. Yeah well that's true. Turns OUT MOVIES FAKE? I've tried to make the make that it doesn't you're right doesn't make very disappointing show. I was thinking about you. I actually I had a dream or what you did. Yeah wasn't that was kind of by really read. It was going to say right but I was. I was thinking what is underneath your patch. Do you have a glass I is? It just kept their glasses. So today usually wear the Tridentine. What is the Seal Trident? Oh the seal trident. So it's actually a twenty four karat gold earing that is that is implanted into the process. That in this case. But I've like twelve of these things and do you have any Sponsorships like Pepsi ups. It's a really good idea. Gatorade I mean come on man. You're leaving money on the table. True so much on the table. I've got a bunch of different. I've been build a few of them. I've got one of them recently. Was the Gonzales flag. Come and take it seeing that strike. Flag is the. It's the come and take it's where we have the Canon. If you've seen that says the Canon and then says come and take it from the battle of Gonzales with me ever since revolution we have one in California. That says please tread on me thin. That's it's a cockroach cried cockroach and his huge boot worn by Gavin newsom. And it's like that. It's unfair we bring it out. Please tell me exactly what to do to stay safe. That's right it's ridiculous so you have one for that. We got that one and you know the reason I wear. The patch is will. Because I mean you can't tell what that is like even from this distance so it's always an awkward kind of public thing to have the the prosthetic is without the patch. The Patch tells the story right away. So it's kind of like my public private life and also a little of a formal informal wear and have all the different glass is and stop. It gets too personal but I I was thinking about it like dreaming about my son has a retainer. He puts in his mouth kind of pack very similar to to to wait. Yeah it's very similar to that. Actually because a lot of people think it's like a ball because you watch pirates of the Caribbean and the Rolls Down The deck. And he's like. Oh and put that back in there and it's made a wood which really doesn't make any sense because the splintering would just be terrible but you couldn't really do a search. You couldn't do that. They put a permanent. I think spherical object in there. They wrapped the muscle around. And it's so if I took it out it would. It would kind of just look like yeah like you're under your lips that's sort of what it would look like like your gums and you just slip it in there. It's it's like shaped like this. You can throw it people it shape like a homecoming queen is waving to her gallery and exactly and when you go to the airport. They WANNA take a peek under there. No I rarely. Yeah sometimes. Yeah we'll good question. Do they react. They don't really react very polite. Tsa Very polite. They've also got the knowing by flying so much really and so what is what is I just think i. I'm a big fan of Dan. I just sort of onto him recently but I I got onto you on. Snl Then when the book came out I was listening to the book and I thought this is first politician. I've really heard just talking straight pragmatism. Just nuts and bolts. Here's how life works. No shortcuts as when ear buds? Instructors would say your last day was yesterday right and and really all the stuff that's been around stoicism the way to raise a family way to conduct yourself pride dignity at sense of community and for some reason so many politicians have drifted away from that. Because I think it's just easier to kind of feed the kids the sugary empty calories cereal for breakfast and not be hassled by something. That's actually nutritious and good for them so I think the politicians have are almost just sadly taking the cue from the constituency. Who doesn't really want to get up and do the work that needs to be done. But I'm hoping that in the right vessel meaning you that these messages. These tried and true messages could return. I have because they're the only things that work and that's how I thank you. Weren't you laughing with my pregnancy? Thank you sorry. I I like to describe my political philosophy political philosophies conservative and and it's fundamentally it's things that work it's things that have worked for a very long time. They don't always feel good. It's not always. It doesn't always feel like the the most compassionate thing to say but it is the right thing to say and whether whether it's about our limiting principles whether it's about the way we should govern whether it's about the way we should treat people in our society and the way you treat your own kids you teach your kids at they're accountable. You teach their kids their actions matter. You teach your kids that they work hard. They'll get this. You teach your kids about fairness and sharing and how to treat others and it it strikes me as odd that some people would treat their kids that way because they love them doesn't if they're liberal or conservative but they wouldn't treat the American people that way and he would shoot him totally differently would tell them that they're victims. You would tell them that. They don't have control over their lives. They're not accountable. And that seems very odd to me and I think we should. We should actually treat the American people like we love them. Yes like you love Van Right. I know that is the ultimate love. Being Nice is not love that is that is not love. It being love is what you do your kids. I always look at it this way. So many of these politicians that are talking about a lot of people can't get ideas so they don't have access to checking account so they don't have access to and they can't vote. I'd go. What if your seventeen year? Old Son announced that he couldn't travel with you to go on a family vacation. Maui because he didn't have access to an ID or he didn't have access to a check out. What would your answer be to that child? If the answer is what are you talking about? March yourself down to the bank or do it online and get yourself an idea. Well then if that's your answer for your child then that's the answer for society. Hold ON WHY. Aren't you okay good? We'll be watching you. That's one of the more ridiculous arguments like well. A lot of people don't have first of all to say that a bunch of minorities don't have ideas racist. I course you're telling these people that they don't have ID's in the way you go and ask them. Of course we have ideas what are you. What are you talking about well? All also where I'm coming from is if you are the politician in you're saying there's a lot of people that don't have access to the first off. I don't like the word access. It's this notion of like well hobby. Lobby's denying their employees access to birth. Control that's not denying you access to birth control. That's not supplying you with birth control. Hobby lobby doesn't make you a sandwich for lunch. Either them not them denying you lunch. I'm not giving you a pl t the different. That's why aren't you enough with the denied access it drives me and say anyone can get an ID now. It may be more difficult for some than others. So I'm talking to a politician and the politician says many people don't have access. Id's I'm GonNa say we'll then. Where is your book mobile that got converted to the mobile which has DMV employees? And you can go to these under served neighborhoods and you can sign people that will solve that problem but they never go that round. Now there's a problem minus the salt as an idea is important for so many things and so if you actually believe that certain underserved communities didn't have access to ID's you would think that the that the solution there would be to get them access to ideas because it's not just voting that we would want them to have ideas for its well. I don't know that's just what you need in life and so if people don't have an ID it tells me that there are probably truly under and probably need some help so let's get them. Id's well doesn't mean you don't change it doesn't mean to change election laws well result if you in this. Modern era do not possess an idea as an adult. Then you're not a functioning member of our society it is. It is impossible to function. So if I say these people need to vote we should do it without. Id's well that doesn't really solve any problems. All it does is lessen the barrier to vote but once they voted they're still now living a life that's ide- less and if you're a politician in your real job is to get these people not to be disenfranchise but to join society. Pay Their taxes. Be Able to travel all the things that go along with having an idea if you you're sincere person which I don't think you are but if you were actually sincere you would want to get them. Those ideas not not lower the barrier for voting. Exactly this is. This is one of the only things that my Democrat colleagues WanNa WanNa want to deregulate over-regulate literally everything else. But not this one. And I and I find that strange voting right. What else is strange is. Is this this need to this this this idea that we should mail everybody their ballot and do mail in ballots because of coronavirus? Here's the thing. Get what takes less human interaction going to the grocery store or voting? Okay so at the grocery store you pick up all your things with your hands and you put them on this little conveyor belt somebody else touches that thing with their hands gives it to somebody else who touches it with their hands in a bag gives it back to you what you take home and you put in your mouth. I'm never going to another by the way I don't know where your head with this. You've ruined the shopping experience for this. Podcast there keep going horse. Yeah I've got a few voting. You go in you look at somebody. They check your. Id least in Texas. They do and you touch a machine right. That's it we can do that. I agree it's not come on I had I was. I was thinking about you where I was only dreaming about you but I was. I was thinking about but it's kind of unintended circumstances so I'm it I'm at the hotel we did. I did a show here last night we got Outta here. About ten o'clock we went to. What's the local steak place POPs? Yeah want their freedom baby had serving turf couple. Martinis got back to the room. You know twelve thirty at night and this morning of sleep in a little do a show later tonight and all I could hear all morning was people their doors open and letting them go with the self closer with the pneumatic closer. Could CHUNK CA chunk? So it's like the room to this side of the room. That's I mean they fling the door open. It's got the pneumatic closer. And it's like junk junk. We all know that. Sorta concussion of the door shutting on the metal frame because people are going in and out at seven thirty in the morning or eight in the morning and I thought to myself. Why do we need? That pneumatic closer. In the reason we need that pneumatic closers for fire reasons because a fire would not spread nearly as quickly if all the doors are closed but then I thought to myself who leaves their hotel room and forgets to close their door. Couldn't wheat rust. I've done that you've done it. Well Hugo I am saying if you go if you go to an old hotel. In France they do not have pneumatic closer. You have to yourself. But here's a slippery. Slow the more stuff that kind of gets done for you where you just don't have to think about it. The more every car's automatic now all kinda parallel parks and everything every door. Shut for you by the man maybe start getting a little softer. Like maybe you start tuning out. Soft Very Soft. Go ahead you go ahead. No no car when you had. You told me to go you if you drive a car. With a stickshift. You are engaged in that car when you drove an old car. You kind of had to be responsible. There was no texting and kind of drifting off now and I worry that everything is kind of being done for every everything's in the government as well and we're kind of drifting off and we're expecting more of it you know we. We're expecting somebody to take care of us. This is this is through and through been noted in the coronavirus pandemic and watching not just the United States. But the world react to this this notion that that we can't even make decisions for ourselves that we feel unsafe. We should also tell other people. They should feel unsafe and that they shouldn't be able to go out to very strange. This very very strange notion that if that if our governor says hey work allow people to go back to work and allow them to do this that he would get criticized as as dumb and week that was from NATO today. Yeah Yeah. I'm quoting Bego on this one. I'm going to twitter. Fight with Beta today and it was so interesting. I'm like what I said was this. I said you're actually calling all texans dumb and week because Governor. Abbott is not forced governor. Have IT force anybody here? My where I was just making sure. Did you guys get a letter from the governor? That said you had to come here and put yourselves in at potential risk. You're always risking your life when you leave the house no matter what but he didn't make you do it. You chose to do it at. There's there's an element of freedom there. There's an element of personal responsibility. I think we're a little bit more inclined to think of think of it that way and Texas then maybe in some other parts of the country but the whole world has done this the first time in human history first time in human history with collectively really shut down this way and it's interesting and I hope we analyze it thoughtfully in hindsight and think about what we did right and what we did wrong because we really have lost perspective we really have about what is difficult and I talk about my book and I'm like I have ancestors that came to six generation. Texoma answers are coming to Texas this Sarah Howard as my first ancestor in Texas. She came here. She was kidnapped. Her child was killed in front of her. She lost one husband and lost another husband. You know they had to find water every day. And what do you find water every day in Texas and it was so much summer. It's somewhat easy much dust ear back then. It is now no the old West movies and she lost her kids. But I'm saying but it didn't help it's not that dusty here it was so dusty back then very swampy and Houston needle. Just share of like the wild west of Arizona's west and you know some of US L. Allergies. We ride horses to work. Which should why don't you're so? Sorry Sarah your great great faster right right what we complain about. I get really pissed when I'm like flying barreling through the air at thirty thousand miles per hour and the wife is not working and I'm like my life is hard. This isn't fair depressed. I'm not no military pilot but you're probably not at thirty thousand miles an hour feet thirty. He's Broncos of light that southwest white guys from ask Burbank and second Washington Post Washington. Post is going to fact check me. I knew I knew. Thirty thousand feet at five hundred knots or so I knew what you man special government plane about it. Well nowadays man. I don't know if you've seen some of that footage Tucker Carlson. Yeah Yeah I mean. We didn't even notice that there's UFO's now. I even notice. Well here's my theory about. Your are my theories like we thought they were being hidden from us so we wanted to know. It's like we have the same relationship with your foe says that we had with Lance Bass the singer from the boy bad. We're like I think that guy's gay buddy. Says he has a girlfriend and it pug the shit out of us and then at some point he went. I'm gay we went. I knew it and when we left. Nobody cares anymore with you. A perfect analogy. That's why I get to big box so but this was incredible. I mean this is the navy footage of of these objects. There was a lot of analysis. Done the Joe Rogan. Podcast with the Pialat. It's not new news so the last couple of months weren't the first time it came out. I think I think the the navy just declassified at officially but it had long been out and they didn't even try to hide it because they knew it was foolish to try and hide it. And you know you hear this guy in the Joe Rogan show and I've really recommend this episode is on. I don't know how to find it just put so many episodes out but it's really interesting. Goes in real detail about how they how they analyze this object. How many sensors? They had on it how they were filming it. What it looked liked to them. Why there was no rotor. Wash there was no heat signatures very strange. All of it was very strange. Yeah but I mean we'll tiger kings on so yeah it's crazy that we've turned the page that fast in my entire childhood was based on. There's UFO's are out there. Every third movie was a ufo movie now. Evidently they're here and we have no thoughts about it if they're listening and there are new overlords if you guys are going to need entertainment this guy. He puts a pencil all day. You need so with carpentry skills. Beat someone who can spread your message through entertainment through comedy I again. I don't know if I'm assuming you're listening. And there's GonNa be a few of us who you will spare because you will need to help work on the others much. Like what Gavin. Newsom is doing to California right. Now you're going to need somebody who's doing. Yeah they're out there. It's crazy it's crazy. I'm excited about it though. I don't think they need carpenters. I don't think it is important to them as well as they have little tic TAC spaceships. That don't have any rotor wash. That can move like thirty thousand miles an hour but ever had a slip at the time. Maybe I everyone needs countertops. Everyone needs storage river. You know at some point the aperture door for the spaceship is going to champion. He always going to have to score some. Wd Forty on that bad boy. And I'm just saying I'm your man do you. Do you carpenter verb carpenter you do would make is a hobby. I wasn't a wood worker. So idea for Yeah. I mean I know you did it before you still do it. What we work on projects always working on projects at my own house. I have warehouses with cars constantly building studios and I built my studio back in L. A. And all that kind of stuff and now I gotta rip everything out of the ground and drag it to Texas again. So the way we're GonNa do this tonight. Is going to bring Dan out and talk to him for about an hour and then do twenty minutes of Adam. Corolla unprepared and inbetween. We have a couple of songs from a couple of artists who enjoy who guys have enjoyed since I was a kid of Parker and John. Hiatt or a couple of guys and they they recorded songs and then sent them here just to just to be played for you guys to not tonight and they did it for us so I think what we should do is give Dan Crenshaw a hand I do. I do this for another hour about a nice job. Thank you everybody crazy. All fortitude is the name of the book American Resilience in the era of our show. Thanks Dan see backstage ready. You guys you guys you guys who that you guys get your one word one word for me to do Adam. Corollas unprepared ready. Hold on we're GONNA roll in about six minutes of some custom songs that were done for us tonight and then when we come out of that we will resume that portion of the show. Okay Max a PAT downs. Thank you for inviting me. This is GRANDPA coming from London. Under remember you like the pickles record or no use that so this one is for. You Might Dan thanks. This do you A way How tall thank you. Everybody the fall years old even know home. The first kid also are Bro Cried Rear View. Jews stood out was so strong force. Didn't all know you're welcome some acid in her face Ladies and gentlemen please welcome back to the stage Adam right so You guys throw out one word. Raise your hand when you have it and I will build a comedy routine around it right up here Sh- magma. There's a whole family of young Christian girls sitting right here here. Eating FRENCH FRIES WITH RANCH. I just feel is daytime audience. We got a veteran who was covered with dust. You know last time he was in country. I don't feel it's appropriate. You give me one man who had their hand over here something. Pg maybe thirteen. What does that baseball? Okay wait. What about the part where you raise your hand and then I pointed at you all right. This guy's got his hand up. Snapper like a long snapper could be a snapper. Could be a red snapper. Could be a long snapper. Could be a lawn mower. I think they make Quite a quite a lawn mower. Snapper does could be snapping. Turtle got to say this. I was a long snapper in high school and our team punted a lot. The only thing I was proud of is not screwing up that that long snap in high school. But I can tell you that I always thought if you're in the mafia and don't raise your hand but you know who you are if you're even associated loosely with the Mafia. You should pay off the long snapper on the next Super Bowl. He's the lowest paid guy on the team. He's getting the League minimum. You give one hundred thousand dollars you get one over the Punter's head you get one that. He skips back during a field goal attempt. You've shaved ten points and it costs you one hundred grand people use your head and somebody needs to make a movie called the long snapper. Where they they kidnap teenage daughter? He's a grizzled veteran. He's been in the League for fourteen years. This is his last year. His team goes to the Super Bowl but they kidnap his daughter. And they're gonNA throw or and well if he doesn't snap the ball over the punter's head and then at some point he snaps it with such velocity that hits the bad guy in the head and the gun goes off. And that's as far as I've got. Do you know that there are camps? You can send your kid to to see who can for snapping now. There's like specialty snapping classes. What's going on man my parents ago? Here's a bowl of foil. Get the fuck out of the House for two days. Now it's like I'm going to pay this guy eighty bucks an hour and he's going to show you how to snap a ball. What the hell these kids are getting too specialized by the way what happened to when you say kid memory. When I was a kid so want to go to me. What are you good at go? Oh I want to go on this thing. I wouldn't go snapping and the cello and I'm working on an engineering degree but of course. I speak Mandarin as well. I was good at drinking from the hose and getting dudes in head locks. That's when I was good at. Oh and eating other people's food and then positioning it. So they didn't know pilfered half their corn nuts. You know there's a whole science like a whole funk sway like a whole snack functions way where you'd go to your friends go into their kitchen you'd go to their pantry. It'd be like okay. Don't load up on honey roasted cashews. They'll know it take a handful of cash us. Turn the label toward mce. Make sure everything is working right. Have a couple of space. Dick bars have one hit off the chocolate milk and then right back in the fridge. Don't get grady. The figure out. Just how much of this kid's food I could eat before his dad was onto me all right. What else do we got? Bear Weight Baseball. I all right I should be doing. Who RAISE THEIR HAND WITH BASEBALL? Okay I'm just going to baseball because someone keeps yelling baseball. That's the only thing that come from. This corona virus pushed the baseball season back. And may we may only get in one hundred forty games baseball. You know the best sport in the world is football. They both got the where they go sixteen games. They've tacked a seventeenth and everyone's pitching a fed. You guys play Seventeen Games. The first weekend and I also liked that they had an act. Some rules like hey no more eating in the dugout during the so corona thing like no more shooting flower seed husk out of your mouth by the way if you go all you need to know about baseball being an inferior sport is when you go to the sideline of any other sport like go to sideline of a football game. One guy's got the headphones on. He's talking to the guy in the booth. The Next Guy's got the pad out he's going over. The schematic with the defensive. Captain this guy over here is seven hundred pound black man who sucking from an oxygen mask. You know you go to the baseball dugout. They're like Oh GonNa make a pyramid of Haas gotta my corn seeds in this other guys. Turn his hat inside out. I'M GONNA make a rally had outta this these two guys over there playing pickle. There's nothing going on so we'll get one hundred games. Who Cares and the folks the real winners of this entire virus? Of course you're Houston Astros. They were about to get more pitches thrown at them then Steven Spielberg at a starbucks in Santa Monica avoided the entire season of getting a ball thrown. I mean they were going to. Every one of their players was going to have to climb inside of a gatorade bucket. Just pull the bottoms up. Poke armholes waddle up and that just get being by balls all day all right so baseball good. We don't need it. Thankfully we'll get we'll do one hundred game season ever. Ob be fine and The saddest person in the world is a person who keeps score when they're up in the stands like. Oh that a four stairs unforced airways that a hit or an air also. Can I say this about baseball? What's up with the Pine Tar? Has anyone ever been in contact with? Pine Tar. I touch some pine tar nine hundred eighty one in high school. My finger still smells like Christmas straight. What is that thing where it has to be all over the top of the baton all over the front of your Helmet Schwartz in the Sh meg my there with the get your Damn Pine Rag get your Pine Tar Rag. Wipe your bat down and then go to the plate. How do you think it works? And by the way how to baseball players work when they're not using the pine tar like at home. I think one of them's barbecuing in the SPATULA. Sailing out of their hand like I lost. My Sense. Cramp was changed. Your my daughter's diapers tonight throughout the window. GotTa get some Pine Tar up in here so wooden stick that's made to be held by a man. How much Pine Tar do we need? Got To be all over the hat. Get the Pine Tar doing the Dugout show up and swing that Damn Bat all right so but ever you guys smell pine tar. It's good it's good. Yeah Hey any kids thinking about huffing copier toner later on go pine tar too much better high all right hands up grab right there and crenshaw yeah or any crenshaw. Okay we'll go with the one who's Most familiar to US tonight. Dan Crenshaw I am. I'm a fan of his. I wish I had licensed to wear an eye patch and I mean you gotTa have licensed to wear an eye patch. I could rock an eye patch but I would immediately be called a Douche because they go. Why are you wearing an eye patch? And I wouldn't have anything good you know what I mean wouldn't stepped on a bouncing betty and tick creed it'd be nothing like that. I just be like I was beating off and I used too much lube and I think my I just kind of lost. There's not a lot to hold onto and I just kind of I have grabbed the pine char put. I had an infective cuticle. Just kinda hit the Radna there and so that I patch man. But what is the thing about now? Let me tell you something. Dan has made a very shrewd choice with the black eye patch. It goes around because he could have chose the other I patch which is the flesh colored. Pash with the Weird Gauze and the adhesive acting on it. That's the sad. It's I patch of all time. You go from international jewel. The've to Junkie Methadone Atlantic. Just your decision in eyepatches so he I don't know if he has some valet or some publicist who works on that but that black eye patch was the greatest decision ever and He had the glass. I with like what what insignia. He has a flag on their. He has the. It's sorry yeah. The navy seal crest on there. Like it's it's crazy kind of makes me wish you have is missing an eye but I'm not gonNA go. I'm not GonNa go that far that far with it but dad crunch war hero all around. Good guy like good sense of humor. Was you know the the the only tough part about Dan Crenshaw is? Everyone feels the need to come up with their own story of pain and misery. Like it's like losing a dog. You ever lose. If you took your dog an hour go to the vet to be euthanized. And you told someone. I'm pretty broken up today. I had to put my dog down earlier this afternoon. They'd go. Oh Yeah I remember Sushi. That was my dog. We had to put her down. And I'll be like that was nine years ago bitch just as my story. It's fresh but if you tell anyone you had a cold they tell you how they had a cold. If you tell anyone you had the flu the flu a dog died. Dog died and anytime. There's an injury like give you tell someone man. A bus myself up snowboarding. Then they tell you a story about how they jack themselves up skiing one time so Dan Crenshaw has to go through. Entire Dole live going interpreter. Step to step down I D and he blew up and I got hit with shrapnel and then everyone has ago yeah one morning it was really cold and I was barefoot. And I've got out of bed and you know. The metal frame always sticks out a little further than the box spring but the dust covers. He's hiding it. I kick that bad boy with my pinky. Little Toe wasn't even a big tau was a little So we've all been there. I wasn't I wasn't Chopard. Load out my my wife did go online to MD online. I think it was it. Said hot cold compresses you now. I'm not. I'm not calling myself hero. I'm just saying a felt the pain of war cold autumn. More every single day and talk to guys like that. Who after then give them the upper stories in the pain department but a Dan Crunch? I think that guy's going to be the president. I really Yeah vice-president me yeah that's right that's right. Yeah three is on that ticket. There's only one time president right a minute. How many is in President One or two? I have a I went to. I'm a product. La Unified School district. President there one. I'm president but there's street is on this ticket pitch. I'm just spitballing people. This is not actually gone to work on the on the on the posters yet over here hand hand hand in the Middle Dr Drew. You'll be next mass. I I s Dr Drew. He's a good man. He's a man of exquisite passion. He he's a little bit gullible. Dr Drew and it reminds me of a story but he he wants to help. That's the whole thing. He's wildly earnest and sincere and so when he gets taken out to the woodshed by at all the ads wipes on twitter because he's basically talking about his medical knowledge and stuff that essentially happened. He has apologized short because he feels horrible. But he's trying to help everybody but one time many years ago me and Dr drew were in New York where in Manhattan Now Times Square. Used TO BE REALLY DICEY. And then they've cleaned it up and it's now turned into a commercial endeavor but it was really dicey and we used to do love line if you could imagine. I would do love line from one. Am to three am New York time. Then Dr drew and I would walk back to our hotel and then I would go to bed at four and then I would wake up at five thirty and go to Howard Stern show for four hours which is an insane sleep-deprived borst than the navy seal training. I would say dance still here but if he hears me I stand by you know some right got to get up early and tell jokes had to carry a rubber raft. That's not hard telling jokes. Sleep-deprived come on so we're walking home from CBS. Downtown at like three fifteen am on like a Tuesday night and we're walking right through town and a big as a mini Van. A mini van filled with prostitutes. It's like they're trying to set a record. You know like they would do back in the fifties like how many freshmen could get in a phone booth. Well this is like how many horse can get in a mini van and so there's like fifteen prostitutes in this minivan and Dr like walking across the street and three of them went like you. Can we get a little help over here? Sugar and drew those ladies are in need of my assistant. Said he started walking at them and I like grabbed his arm and I started pulling back. And he's like those young ladies requested assistance. What's wrong with you like Times Square? It's Wednesday. It's three fifteen. They're wearing Lee press on nails and have hair extensions. Every part of their bodies extended their nails their hair all extended no those are prostitutes like prostitutes. What's going on so drew can be a little bit gullible. Sometimes he's he's also I would. I would call pussy whipped. I think I think he knows that I think he would admit that. But other than that Helvin American all right right behind that person sorry who Texas man. It's a little humid out here. I gotta say I'm doing a lot of sweating out here but I like the people I like. I like the attitude and I like the fact that Texas is proud of being Texas. So we're I'm from California. So are saying California. Sorry about that I. I know it's like we have to just apologize all the time when people come to visit like. I know you had to climb over Pyramid of homeless people that get your rental car. Sorry sorry sorry. Sorry about the pollution. We have barbed wire around our freeways signs. That's insane we have a horrible. We have the highest taxes. I think in the Union. We pay like thirteen percent tax. Which drives me drives me nuts and then. Texas is Texas proud and also I learned for the Great Randy white you. Don't mess with Texas. You don't litter a California. We have all the sides side of the freeway. Which is if you've got litter that you didn't WanNa throw on the highway in Texas. Bring it on down. Toss it on our interstates because we love trash. So we don't have don't mass with and we don't have the lone star and we don't have the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders or the okay. The Houston Texan ads. Or whatever. I don't know what they're called anymore. The point is this yes. California has Zero Pride about California by the way California Texas is going to turn into this so you guys are going to have to deal with this. Well no it's not it's not it may not turn into California but the problem with California is nobody is from California so we treat California like you treat a rental car. You go because no one's from California you know when you're in a rental car and you're like what have we got going about fifty five and then put it in reverse way would happen. There's only one way to find out. That's what people do with California. They show up there from New Jersey there from Pittsburgh there from Boston and they just show up. I'm from California. I can't find one. Goddamn Rams Fan Sports Bar. Do you know callie loss. Angeles has more. Pittsburgh steelers sports bars. They do Los Angeles Rams sports bars. So everyone's just from somewhere else and why shouldn't litter or why shouldn't you take a whiz and that guy's mail slot or why should you pay your taxes? Or why should you not sleep on freeway overpasses? Why should you do anything? If you're not from there it's all one big party. That's being thrown at someone else's house and you don't like that now Texas started off. I mean we talked to Dave Crenshaw nine generation at Texas. He's Gramma Alamo or something tough woman lot of dust very dusty environment back then but there were tougher. They had true. Grit Grit comes from dust. That's what Hap- because let's say they say true. Grit Texas greedy Texas people with the with the dust that look it up. That's a fact but now you guys are GonNa have to start dealing with a lot of douchebag bags for Manhattan and California and Chicago and Boston. And they're gonNA come over here and they're gonNA go well. We fled are failing states and cities but let us coach you up on just what to okay so you just one one for a one hundred fifty from the free three throws stripe and now you want to coach me how to fucking shoot free throws. I don't think so so you guys are GonNa have to stay the course and not listening lists all the ass wide. Come out here all right. Let's do one more. What are we got right up? Here millennials Boy My God we are. Listen I I would fear millennials. I would have a very realistic. Fear of millennials. But you don't have to fear them because they don't fucking move so if we ever walked dark alley and there's millennials everywhere you just walk. They won't even get off their being bags. We'll move now. You must not fear them in a dark alley. Fear them in the workspace three. Got a fear. The millennials fear the UPTAKING. Another media. Ed or my soccer team over in the UK place at five am our time. So I had to stay up all night and drink and s some not making it in tomorrow or you've offended my delicate sensibilities or you gotta to watch your tone when you talk to me. When I was coming up I worked on construction size. I had a bunch of guys that were Vietnam. Vets that were out on pain meds. Yelling your last easy day was yesterday and we got a time hold up a Dalla. I had a millennial I had my nephew try and work for me for four months. I would've yelled at him for being late but he was never there so like I literally used to go. I'M GONNA go yell at my nephew. Where is he? They've got he's not here. Damn I can't even yell at him for being late because he physically wasn't there. Listen the good news is is my kids could be missing a limb have have Crohn's Disease Epstein Barr virus and lyme disease and still out work half these little shits just up to war. I don't know how it got to where it is today but we must reverse. This course something is going on. There's some enabling that's happening. I blame the parents I blame. The teachers blame everybody but me. I know that sounds convenient but I look it up. It's on record. I've been yelling at my nanny to raise my kids right for twelve years. She's Dutiful Guatemalan woman. Who Does what I asked. So this one ain't my fault all right let me hit GYCO. I gotTa do a quick bite here. Geico yes these days. Everyone staying home. You're not staying home. I'm going home and then staying home because I live in California. Now gyco realizes you're not driving as much as used to drive and so they're going to give you something back fifteen percent credit on car and motorcycle policies for current new customers because Geico's committed to the long haul. That's a fifteen percent credit and it lasts the full term of your policy. That is Geico all right. I WANNA thank the Houston Food Bank for coming out here taking my money. I WanNa thank you guys for buying tickets coming out here today I wanNA thank Dan Crenshaw for coming out here and until next time to sad and Pearl her Dan Crenshaw Sand Mahalo.