Bad at Breaking Up

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And that's why cute smart is offering up to twenty five percent off your monthly rent. Say goodbye to moving stress and hello to your new address with qb smart self storage visit cube smart dot com for more details suck with gary. David iheartradio podcast. What is going on everyone. Welcome to an all new episode of help. I suck at dating. I am recording from the passenger seat of my brothers truck in hamilton montana. Jared where the heck are you. I'm in my man cave. Which i think is going to be a possible baby room in the future. We're not really sure what we're doing right now but right now. It is surrounded by tom brady. Patriots buccaneers red sox paraphernalia. It's pretty awesome. I love being here. This is the first time. I think i'm ever recording my podcast from this room. So i'm pretty excited. I think that we can finally say cats out the bag right. You're having a baby boy. Baby boy yes we are so. We're very excited. We have the name picked out. Ashley's had this name picked off for twenty years. She's loved it and when she told me. I love it so we already have a name picked out so pretty much. Everything's good to go. We have a baby boy. he's gonna do another amazon. Live video of telling everyone the name of the baby fingers crossed. One can only hope. My friend is to be have more money than me before it even comes out of the freaking womb. Well you know college. Tuition ain't cheap paying for a coffee shop down here. You know we gotta do what we've gotta do. It was actually really fun so we announced on amazon live yesterday. The same thing we do with our pregnancy. And it's actually a lot of fun announcing on there because it's a live platform so it's fun. Interacting with everybody in the live chat with us and having it live in the moment and not prerecorded. There's something to be said about that. And it was like a built up like moma. We're like okay here we go. It's a boy. And everybody's saying congratulations. It was it was fun. Moment for ashley and i so i'm really glad we did it. That way nice man. Well congratulations baby boy baby. Deans on the way Baby dini dini babies. You want to just found out to yes. They're like three days ago. And i got to montana is. My brother is having a baby with his wife. Oh congratulations it was the weirdest thing they were like the house together as a great an extra room for me to sleep in. And they're like yeah. We're going to need all the rooms we can get and i was like okay. I guess it's kind of weird thing to say we talk. How could be sleeping there. All the time guys and then his wife looks at me and she kinda like smiles a little bit. I'm like okay. Are you gonna tell me something. And then they were. Like we're back and i was like this is the weirdest possible way to tell someone that you're pregnant. Just tell me that's so cute so you're going to be an uncle. You're gonna be an uncle well. I was going to be on goal with baby on the way. But i'm going to be an official real uncle with baby bell on the way which would be nice. Oh so it's a girl. Bell is their last name Okay building beautiful name. We already know the gender in the name that's great but it is a girl so that is going to be a girl that because i think one is ashley do actually is due february february tenth or eleventh i think is the official dude. Their baby is due february fourteenth. So oh you guys had sex like red around the same time. Yeah tight tight. Tell us your brother. I said Nicely nicely there's something in the air. And may i guess right. Apparently dude valentine's day baby. That'd be pretty cool rob. Thomas was born on valentine's day square. Birth yeah nice. Maybe maybe your baby and his baby could get married in twenty five years. Yeah i mean who knows on bachelor in paradise that would be. That'd be something special. That hardly went so we do have some hot tops coming in. We don't have any guests for you today. Which is always the best because we're just going to host chat it. We're going to talk about hot topics. We also have some questions that we posed to you on our help. I suck second dating instagram. Which if you're not following already please do so and so we're going to answer some of that and of course we're going to answer your emails but first topic of the day is about Alex rodriguez frigging guy. Go yankee This guy stinks. Alex rodriguez shares photo of himself posing with porsche that he gifted jennifer lopez. Obviously his ex. Alex rodriguez certainly enjoying the finer things in life which includes what some fans have pointed out. Looks like a red porsche. That was once a birthday gift to his. Ex jennifer lopez. Alex rodriguez is. I guess crushing into his new chapter in life. The former yankee was seen grinning from ear while posing in front of a red porsche in his latest instagram posts. Which on august eighteenth is when he posted the capture said. I'm super down. Earth real funny alex however. That wasn't the most note worthy part of the post with fans immediately noticing that his car that he is seen leaning on looked awfully similar to the lavish birthday gift that he gave the jennifer lopez back in two thousand nineteen. One person even commented asking. Isn't that the red car. He bought jaylo another fan amongst many obviously also hinted the at the return gift writing. I thought you gave that red porsche to never mind. When the i'm real swift singer turned fifty. Obviously jennifer lopez just turned fifteen two thousand nineteen in insider reveal to e. news at the time that alice gifted the red heart commodity to his then fiancee at an estimated. Cost of buckle up one hundred and forty thousand dollars holy crap. I hate this guy. he's a yankee. I've never liked the way he played and he just feel like he's such a faker. That's what i think of. Alex rodriguez and maybe i'm biased. Because i hate the yankees and he played for the yankees and he just like was just a. I didn't just how do i say this. Without swearing. he was a panzi intel's fourteen but he likes slat the ball out of the first baseman hand to try to get on first base. It was just like this guy stinks. And now he's taken pitchers and smiling from ear to ear in front of a gift that he wants gave his extra info lopez like bro move on. She's happy with ben affleck she's upgraded. Why don't you focus on your own life. God forbid the guy takes a picture. Where he's happy. Jared calm down man. You're disdain for the yankees can only go so far. First of all the yankees and the red sox sec especially after two thousand seven but we've won two world series since then. You have the red sox. Well i include myself in that statement. I'm saying two thousand. Seven was the year that i really don't like because you guys swept in the world series rockies that's right yeah you guys were on fire you guys were like eighteen and one in the players or something like that and then you've got to the world series and we kick your ass anyway. Move on my point. Is i personally. If i bought someone one hundred and forty thousand dollars porsche. And then we broke up. I would have thousand percent. Take the pushback. Well my question is is this the actual porsche or is he just trying to play ghetto. Rise outta jaylo. Because that's my question. I don't think he's doing that man. I think that people are being a little too soft with that like okay. He's a grown man. Yeah sure jalen moved on. But he's not a lot of african picture in front of a sweet red car. What's his name. Because i'm gonna look him up on instagram hero. Quick because i want to get some more perspective to this first of all cash. And i'm super down to earth Not funny it's sarcasm. His sarcasm is not my type of humor anyway and this guy's leaning against the red porsche that he apparently famously gifted jennifer lopez on her fiftieth birthday. He knew when he posted this picture. That that's what everybody would be talking about including the host of this podcast. And he's getting what he wants because we're all discussing it so it worked so you know what clap to you. alex rodriguez. He got us all talk about it here. We are talking about you on the podcast today. But you know what doesn't mean. I have to like. I don't like it one bit. Because i think he's trying to get a rise out of my boys girlfriend aka ben affleck and you know what i don't dig it. Maybe jalen gave it back to a rod and now he's just happy to have his car back. Hey he can have the car back. Yeah and don't get me wrong. Sure if you wanna take the car back. Take the car back. Whatever whatever's your money bro but to lean on it post about it grinning ear to. He knew he knew everybody like he knew what he was doing us. Being too hard on. Have you ever kept anything from a hater now. You are being hater. Yeah like we talked about this before on the podcast like certain sentimental things i kept and then like straight away. Because i couldn't like. I i remember finding a couple of years ago and be like oh do i throw it away like it feels. I feel terrible throwing away but like in terms of like anything of value now. I've never taken anything back from an ex- that'd be kinda messed up even like a rod. You wanna take your porsche back bro. Why you really need the money that badly. Something tells me that you don't so if he did take the gift back from j. Lo what are you doing. Just let her have it dude. I think you're looking at this. All wrong maybe jalen didn't want it anymore. Maybe j. lo look dude. I don't need this. I'm gonna frigging richest hottest girl in the world. Why would i need your stupid. Ugly red porsche. Take it back and now era just happy. Got his car back. He's super down to earth and he wants everyone to know it so he takes a picture and post on instagram. I just. I think it'd be a little too hard on the guy you know. Well as you can tell not a fan all right well. We agree to disagree. Our next hot topic is about a man who breaks up with his girlfriend via the jumbotron. You guys don't jumbotron is. It's the huge television screen. That is in every stadium of any professional sports league anywhere. So apparently this guy on the jumbotron put elissa. This relationship is over from tim. Tim this guy went to a place. Very few are willing to go and breaking up with the partner. Recently at akron rubber duck's game which is the affiliate cleveland which Cleveland is no longer there. The cleveland guardians. Right are the cleveland guardians issue that just changed their name. I think twenty twenty two twenty twenty two so right now so the double a affiliate of cleveland indians the akron rubber telex what a name. Anyway this is in cleveland. Tim broke up with his girlfriend. Elissa now ex girlfriend in one of the most savage disrespectful ways possible elissa. This relationship is over by the way the overs in all capital letters. Talk about twisting the knife. That's what the l. a. L. e. sign read at canal park elissa. Needless to say has every right to be infuriated with him over this classless break-up without knowing the full story however i can't really cast judgment. This is obviously from the author of the article. Not me because on help dating we cast judgement. Generally speaking there are only really two explanations. As to why tim would decide to go to these lengths to break up with lissa first. Eliza is deeply deeply hurt. Tim dealing with these feelings. Tim right or wrong sought retribution by contacting the people within the rubber duck organization and likely pay to have this message displayed for all three thousand one hundred sixty fans to see at canal. Park the second explanation pretty simple. Tim is comeback. He's a scumbag guy who couldn't muster the courage to break up with a list of literally any other way either way. It sounds like it may be for the best that these two are going their separate ways. So what are your thoughts about this. I think it's a joke. And i think people misunderstood it. I agree what kind of douchebag unless she cheated on him. That's the only explanation. If elicit cheated on tim then maybe he went to these lengths to break up with her if he if she did cheat on them wouldn't like he. Also put that in the message. Eliza i caught you cheating it's over. It's definitely it's like they're still dating and he's playing a prank on her. If that's if that's at all. Yeah it's like i i. I am even angrier. Talk about this right now. I think it's hilarious. I kind of want to go to a rubber duck's game with kaelin. Do the same thing to her just to get a rise out of her just hilarious. All right let's play this out. So you go to the akron rubber duck's game in cleveland. Ohio and you guys go and there's three thousand people there and he gets some popcorn. You're watching a baseball game and then in the seventh inning. Stretch you go kaelin. Look i put a message for you up on the jumbotron and it says kaelin it's over from dean w- how do you think she'd react. Well first of all it would be in the las vegas ballpark where the aviators play. Because that's street from our house. In las vegas but Yeah so let's let's say we find ourselves in akron one day rubber duck play and we gotta go big game in the acc pcl Tournament would something like that. And you know. It's like i and i did that too. Kaylin i think she would get uncomfortable and she would laugh and she would get very angry at me but in hindsight it would be hilarious and she would laugh about off. i think. yeah. I'm curious. Melissa would react if this was a giant joke. 'cause then what's the point it's like oh it's like a two second laugher all that hard work and now everybody in the ballpark thinks that you guys broke up. Who cares the bill. There's thirty one hundred sixty fans there. Thirty one hundred and fifty. Six of those people will never know who they're talking about. You know what. I mean fair point so this brings up a question. Do you think it's ever acceptable to break up with someone not in person. I've done it before. I've done like the facetime break-up probably a couple over the phone you guys in a long distance relationship. I feel like that's the only acceptable way to do a face up. Were in a way that makes relationship. Have you ever done that or are you a face to face guy. I've never done that. I've never broken up with somebody unless like somebody thinks i broke up with them. I don't think so okay. Psa if you're listening to this and jared has broken up with you please call and let us know how we do then but i do think for a long distance relationship. It is accessible to do a facetime break up. I've had friends go through similar situations and like the relationship is dissolving. They went to just go visit one another. It didn't go well. They didn't break up over there and then they were going to meet up like again and fly to a central location and all the while one person knew that they were going to break up with the other and it was like one of my doing like i know. It sucks getting broken up with facetime. But what's better breaking up with someone over facetime or spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars to travel. Stay at a hotel all just to break up in person i think. The face break-up is acceptable when in a long distance relationship. Now listen if you guys live down the street and you don't have the balls to break up with them in person okay. That's a different story. I'm trying to think of the last time. I broke up with someone. I like him really bad at breakup. I my method like. Let's say i'm dating someone break up with them. I just like find ways to make them wanna break up with me. Because i'm too scared for them to break up to. Is that what happened on the first paradise. Yeah you know. I don't think that's too far off. Honestly i like this is like i'm i'm going to be a jerk and hopefully you come to your senses and you break it off with me so that way. I don't feel guilty for breaking up with you. But then i feel guilty for being a jerk for wanting you to do that. I don't know it's definitely not the best method and honestly it's the root of this podcast. It is the the genesis that drove this podcast in two creation so I think we can all agree that that's definitely not the best way to approach breakup If you want to break up with someone tell them why you want to break up with them face to face if you can or on the phone if you can't and Just be an adult about it because you agree with that. Yeah i mean it's too bad that there are no dealt on this podcast to really give more advice on that. Just to man child's last topic forte. Quick break jay cutler. Speaking guys that stink. Oh my gosh let's go. From the jay cutler. I hate jay cutler. Now it's the worst man we're also. You're a broncos fan so no wonder you hate this guy. Jay cutler says dating is quote hard as hell. Oh poor baby. After kristen cavalieri divorced priorities have changed. He said getting back out there. J. colors tend to rejoining the dating world since his split. With kristen cavalieri has come with their fair share of lessons thus far. It's hard as hell really color. Thirty eight years old said on the podcast uncut with jay cutler. Meeting people is hard. I think finding out what people really want from you. I think that's probably an issue. Jay cutler who shares a son came in tucson's excuse me two sons and a daughter With kristen explained the struggle with to connect with people that are on the same page with him especially as a parent. Now listen before. I go further into this article. Totally get that as a parent that makes dating harder because you're not only introducing someone into your own life you're introducing someone into your kid's life which is a bigger bigger deal quote on a different phase in my life right now. With kids. priorities have changed. He noted during this episode. It isn't just a purely selfish play. On my part the whole landscape has changed their apps. There's twitter there's instagram. it's a whole different ballgame. You're not just walking into a restaurant or bar and talking to somebody that doesn't exist anymore. Well it kind of still exists anyway. We he goes on to say we have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years that we shared memories and then children we are so proud of. He said in a statement when they broke up years ago. This is just a situation of two people growing apart. So jay color talks about how difficult dating is out in the world now like i said as a parent as someone who has kids with his ex totally get that. That would be very difficult. Having said that. You're also jay cutler your multimillionaire you're doing okay. Now you could say that. Oh i don't know if someone's dating me free quote the right reasons. I feel like that. Excuse is a little dramatic in a blown out of proportion like if you're a good reader people you'll know if someone really likes you for you to just comment on that real quick. There were times when i was in insecure. Little boy and i felt that sometimes a little bit and i'm not even. I don't even hold a candle. To the level of celebrity that jay cutler is so. I kind of serious coming from color. He's a cocky deepak. Probably eats that crap up. He like i mean i i. If you don't if you don't like this guy. I bet you probably. He probably like gets weirdly turned on by knowing that people want to hook up with him. Just because he's jay cutler you know he's he's that kind of person to me. I love our sports. Hatred is really just like oozing through this podcast my for a ride for the yankees your hatred collar. Because of what he did to the broncos. I love it. I love this and we did. A kristen cavalieri to chris cavalieri arguably the second hottest woman in america behind kaelin. Obviously and he he had to go out and ruin that relationship but hey i don't understand how they were even in the first place. I never watched any of those reality shows. Ernie that they were on. But just knowing what i know about jay cutler and knowing what little i knew about kristen cavalieri. It didn't make sense to me but obviously they. They had three beautiful kids. So i would still consider that relationship. Success i suppose i just don't like jay cutler and dating as a single parent i'm assuming is very difficult because for the reasons i stated before but it is easier for certain people in the world because of their status or or they're fine finances and i feel like j. collards. It's probably a little bit easier. So hey do you bro. But again that's it. That's all i got to say about that. Well let's make an announcement to jay cutler. If you're listening this podcast which you probably are. He's gonna change your minds about you. I would love to be your best friend. I would love to hang out and it's not just because you're famous former professional football player. I would love for you to change my perception of you because what you did to the broncos. I'll never forgive you for but if you come on plead your case and they shared your friends. I'm totally done for that. Yeah i mean. I would love nothing more than jay cutler at this podcast because he'd be a great gift for us yeah he would be a good get he'd be probably one of our best gets arguably the best cat. He's a big brian. Baumgartner here's a good one. Oh that's when you were the giants game. I wasn't their son of that would have been cool person bumgarner from the office remember. Kevin kevin malone. Oh i'm thinking of the pitcher. That's matt bumgarner. I think no. I think it is brian as well and i remember when he books brian i was like. Why are we having the giants player on her. Podcast and i was like. Oh from the office. That's right duty. I'm brian wasn't big. He's awesome so please. Brian come back on the podcast. We need you. Yeah play and i meant to to. I don't know what i meant but i did. Listen to his podcast after he gets it on our podcast man. His podcasts are really good. So if you have time and you're looking for more content to consume your day. Check out kevin's podcast. Brian's podcasts with it's very good all right we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back we asked you sucky daters to share your own dating dealbreakers and we're gonna talk about them right after this quick break looking for guidance motivation and variety from world class experts in your fitness and wellness journey. Find it with active the fitness app. That's right for you and your lifestyle. No matter where you are in your fitness journey. You can find something on apt to match your experience. Level and goals active believes everyone deserves. Personalized fitness instruction not just the privileged. Few who can afford a trainer. 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Looks bath essentials like plush house and slick accessories detail dinner. Where and pillows for days mix match pile them on for optimum effect gap is committed to doing good for the planet and that starts at home from bedding tabatha. Gap home includes items made with organic kind and recycled materials. Everything is made with the planet in mind. Be sure to go to walmart dot com slash gap home and get yours today. All right welcome back to help by suck at dating so we have a couple of things here. We asked you guys for some questions and answers on our instagram. And we also yeah. We also have an article on here about men who ask share their own dealbreakers. I kinda conflicted those two between the break. But we have an article from buzzfeed about men and their dating dealbreakers and we also have some questions for dean and myself that we pose to you on the help i suck at instagram. So let's get to the dating dealbreakers. I so apparently a popular reddit thread. If you guys are not familiar with read it. I'm sure you are. It's like it's like like twitter. So the thread asked men of the internet water. Some of the dealbreakers for potential relationship. Even if they're very attractive and of course the threat quickly went viral as thousands of men started chiming in with their personal dating red flags and here are the some of the top voted responses. So let's see. I wanna know if you agree or disagree with these deal. Breakers number one having absolutely no sense of accountability for their actions and believe me. It is more common than you think. Is that a deal breaker for you. Then oh my gosh of course accountability killing about this all the time. Accountability is very very important. What do you think. Yeah oh i totally agree you need self-awareness number two complaining about everything. Yeah i tell them this. All the time complaining about everything is the absolute worst number three lying saying stuff about you behind your back me being mean to people for no reason and being fake. I tell us to kill an all the time. No actually. that's the one that i talk to them about all the time. She's a nice person. So i agree. I mean you talk about this all the time. If you're like mean to like your waitress or the waiter or any other person that's simply there to help you. Then you're about date and probably got some issues gotta work through. Yeah no i can never. I can't imagine kaelin ever being mean. Is she ever like she ever get like angry. She had a question She can get kinda snippy or something like if something's not going exactly how she wanted to work if she's on hold for too long she gets cranky mean or anything like that. But it's funny. Whenever i like so i'm going to tell us to in real quick so the complaining one Like a week and a half ago. I got my van stuck in some mud in utah and i called a aaa to come get me out and aaa dropped the ball. We were waiting for like four hours for the aaa tow truck and the whole time kaelin is complaining about. Just wanna get out of here blah blah blah and. I'm like bro. you're in the van like you have a better at their. You got a fridge full of you know whatever you want right there your snacks right there your dogs right there. Your boyfriend's right here like what like where if we were somewhere else. What would be going on differently than we're going right here. So stop complaining about that. That was like last. She and i understand. She's kind of distress anyways. I was on the phone with aaa for like four hours on and off for four hours and she was like getting really angry at me because she was like dude. You're not being like mean enough to the aaa people. Because they're dropping the ball and you need to like insight some urgency into them. So she's like. Let me talk to them. And i was like no. You're not gonna talk to them because she does. I know this is. I went off on a tangent. This is the most couple thing i've ever heard of. Give me talk to him. She's really good at like you know like if someone in that case if they're dropping the ball she's really good at putting your foot down it'd be like no. This is unacceptable blah blah blah blah blah and. I like him to going with that stuff. But so that's kind of that's like i wouldn't consider that her being mean. That's how that's here like snark coming. Yeah i just could never imagine kaelin talking as as the dealbreaker says talking like crap about you behind your back. But hey i relate to ceylan get cranky when i'm on hold for too long to number four talking about xs too much to the point of comparing the two of you. That's a big. No no for me. What do you think about that definitely. Was he think. Yeah comparing the two of you together. That's weird like you shouldn't compare your acts with your current boyfriend or girlfriend just like they're different people. Yeah i would be like. I think i've definitely dated girls before where they talk about their excellent. And it's like okay. Are you over them or like do you date you. Want to date them. Which which one would you prefer. Yeah whenever i went on dates a lot of people would ask about ashley and that's obviously different because we were dating publicly before you know obviously before together but Dow was always weird to me. Because it's like man. I know that it's just like we're tv characters like that actually is something very intimate to me. So it's weird to talk about but would get. Obviously it'd be one of the first questions. I get on dates understandable. Well fortunately you didn't have any of those dates know exactly. Because i mean obviously i was in love with her so they had every right to ask me about it right right and you just didn't get many dates to begin with anyway. The next one doesn't let you have time to yourself for the entire life revolves around you to the point that they suffocate you. Oh this is interesting for you. Because i feel like you guys are kind of attached at the hip or you know. Yeah we're definitely attached to the hip That's one of my favorite things about our relationship is that we truly don't get tired of each other. There's i mean. I really off the top of my head. Can't think of an instance where i thought i need to be away from ashley for an extended period of time. Like if i need to walk away because you know we just had a nine an argument but like a tough conversation. I don't feel like that's something that i need. Time away from ashley for more than a few minutes. So i can understand this though because i have had people in in my past who have been very suffocating and it's extremely annoying because when i'm like hey listen i just need to be myself right now. They're like no no no. I need to be with you. And you're like no no no no no no. You don't understand you making it worse please. Are we'll talk. We'll talk about it later. Yeah that's i mean that's gonna both on the same page about it too. I think that's the most important thing when it comes to that with with kaelin. It's i think probably is out of all the girls. I dated the most suffocating of them all. But i've never realized that. I actually of enjoy it. So it's like it's kind of nice. I've always felt like. I don't want to stay away from me. I'll you know whatever. But then she like like lashes on. Sometimes i i. I went on the knicks. Podcast like right when we started dating. Caitlin and i was like. She's like velcro she's always sticking to me and she always. We always give me crap about that. She's like she's like always calling herself. My my little velcro. I don't know something stupid like that. 'cause i like i in theory i like i'm like i don't like this but then it's happening and i'm like okay. Cool this is actually a really nice. And then kaelin's great because while she does like to be around me all the time she also understands that. I'm like i'm going to go into the mountains for a week and i'll be back and she's like okay so she suffocating but she also gives me a very long leash if you will all that seems like it really nice ballots number six. No testing behavior be straight forward. Or i'll assume you're likely to instigate dumb drama honesty for honesty. Yeah i think that's i think. Testing behavior is like pretty immature behavior. You know testing behaviors alec playing games. I think i interpret testing behavior as something like. I'm going to go flirt with that guy over there to see how you react or like god. I'm gonna pretend to be a girl texting you sexy pictures to see like if my boyfriend's loyal that kind of that's kind of how i interpret it to be. Yeah that's messed up. Toxic relationship in like one hundred percent toxic toxic. You know astrology is one of those things where you do you but if you really believe that stuff you i are likely not a match. I read a horoscope for entertainment at times. But i don't play my behavior. Assessment compatibility with someone based on the random month. I was born and so this person is saying if their day looks to the stars for personality traits. Not not for them. What do you think. I think that if it's like kind of jokey that's fine but if there are one hundred percent serious i can't say you because i meant to data pisces. And you're a scorpio. Low kuku yeah. They're blaming their bad behavior on the cycle of the moon. Yeah i agree. The moon is alexa. Guimba so i get a little testy during this time. Yeah you should kaelin to start saying that when she's on hold for too long. It's not me it's the moon mercury's retrogade can't you see if they're terrible with finances is a big one for this person which a yeah i mean i could see that i gotta admit it's so sexy knowing that kaelin makes so much more money than me. It's like such a turn on for me is that is weird. No that's not weird. I think there's probably is talking this person's specifically talking about not how much money they make but how much money they spend which obviously is a conversation. Yeah you have to have is a couple but you know what andrea three thousand says. It's not how much you make. It's how much you spent Andre three thousand. Yeah i guess. I mean that makes sense. Especially it'll give you buying silly silly things like you have a baby on the way. So there's a lot of to consider otherwise while i'm lucky to ashley an ira very much on the same page finances. We discussed the. We had just have a very comfortable relationship. And we talk about our finances. And like i'll always ask her like if i buy a new golf polo. I swear to god bro. I wanted to buy this new golf polo for like two weeks. Straight company called bad birdie. I loved it so much. And i went into the store. I called ashley said. Should i get this polo. Because was seventy dollars. And she's like you don't need it. You have so many shirts you're fine. I'm like no you're right. You're right right. So then i kept thinking about it from the next week and then we drove past the store and i goes up. That's where the polo is and she's like pullover and get it she's like if you're still thinking about it after week. Get the polo. And i said okay at the polo and i love it. I like those shirts. It's just. I wish there was more variety with them. They're they're they've got four patterns. The babri shirts and the fabric is really nice. And i'm sure. You look dashing. In it i i like i like like it so much. I yesterday for gender reveal because i. It's a blue and pink one so it actually worked out. Well what's it gonna be bluer. Pink ask kaelin and i are biggest financial. Gripe is she likes to fly business class and i strictly fly economy. I don't care whether i'm sitting in the back of the airplane or the front of the airplane. The airplanes in the air and it gets to where we need to go. Don't spend extra thousand dollars to five business class. It's not worth dollars whole crap. Well whatever it is. I don't know it could be five hundred. Could be two thousand. She insists always on upgrading to business or first class. And i like. I have to struggle with arguing with her about how. It's an unnecessary spending money. Yeah i bounced back and forth from virginia. I don't care like you know but last row near the bathroom. Whatever i connie but when when we go from like l. a. to boston and we're in the six hours sometimes like we'll we'll do a deep dive search to see how much more classes because sometimes you can get a really good deal and it's like an extra two hundred dollars for first class but that's well worth it for six hour flight but now for an hour flight i agree and so kayla going to europe next week and i was kind of one of the big arguments arguments debates. She's like well. We could spend eight hundred dollars more. And we're in comfort plus and i'm like okay but it's just not worth it and then i was like i thought we decided on it and it comes back a couple days later. And she's like well yeah well. The upgrade is only a couple of hundred dollars and like no. We've already decided economy. It's happening this way all right. Let's get a couple more one on that. Argument were flying economy geared. She's going to be so cranky that entire light so we're flying connie but i'm gonna stay there a couple extra days to meet up with one of my friends so she's flying back solo and i would be willing to stake a lot of money on the fact that she's gonna fly business or first class back because she's doing that for herself rather than for both of us. You know what i mean. Not that makes sense so we'll see all right. Let's see we got a couple more here where it's not to lay spend ninety percent of their free time sitting on their phone. But i get annoyed. When i play few hours of playstation to relax did i can relate to this so hard. Ashley is on her phone constantly. She's out see just poked her head. And i'm sure she's going to poke her head back in to yell at me for saying this. She's on her phone. We're both on our phones because we work a lot on our phones. Obviously but then she'll put her phone down. And i'll be on my phone and then she'll have the guts to look at me and say you're always on your phone. I'm like oh here we go. She just puts her phone down. And then i stay on my phone for like an extra twenty minutes and she looks at me and says i'm always on my phone or then she'll be on her phone like last night. Good example we're sitting on the couch. She's got a post like. I already posted my thing. So i'm just watching tv. It's like nine o'clock at night. I know i'm going to have to take the dog out on our so. I'm like oh. I'm going to go play video game and she's like hi and i'm like well i'm going to just go play a game of madden and you're on your phone and she's like and i'm like you're on your phone. Don't give that to me. Because i want to play video games. I agree anyway as you can see. I'm very passionate about this. I see that this list is supposed to be dealbreakers. That's obviously not a dealbreaker for you nor should it be. This guy seems to be even more and this guy definitely his dating this girl right. This person wrote this. I would say i agree with you. Especially in the hike the height of the pandemic probably playing like six hours of call of duty a day. You know because it's like what else am i supposed to do. I'm not. I can't go outside. I can't leave. The house is supposed to hang out with my girlfriend. Screw that exactly never Kayla like she was like super cool. I but but then like the second week. She was like dude. You place so much video games. And i'm like well if i wasn't playing video games would i be doing watching. Tv with you. Which is not about they. Don't get me wrong but like watching. Tv and playing video games comparing those two playing video games is the superior option because at least you're interacting with the tv instead of just sitting there mindlessly watching real housewives of dallas or something like that which again not bashing. Because the show's entertaining. And i do love just snuggling up and watching. Tv kaelin. but they're they're they're just like you need some variety and i just i. It's so weird. How it seems like girls just don't seem to understand why boys love video games so much there so far there's so much fun. One of my favorite jokes of all time is dane. Cook's joke about a video games. Because he said he moved into his house with his girlfriend and he was playing a video game and she was like. Oh why even like doing that. Video games are stupid and he looked back at her. And he's like you better get used to stupid because stupid lives here. Do it for the dating dealbreakers. Let us know where your dealbreakers our emails either. Email us follow us. Caption comment like do all that stuff. I don't even know. I was gonna say caption. You can capture stuff to work in the email us. You remember the the podcast. Yes it is. No no no no i know i know okay you can email us at. I suck at dating at i. Heart media dot com. That is i suck aiding and iheart media dot com. Thank you hane for putting that into the rundown let us deal dealbreakers. We wanna hear him. we're gonna take a quick break berate afterwards we're gonna go to your question and answers and then of course answer An email catching that first wave spending net first night camping under the starry sky. There's no better feeling. Which is why i'm excited for the first ever hyundai. Santa cruz bill to help you on your journey to all your firsts hyundai's first sport adventure vehicle. Santa cruz combines the comfort of an suv with the versatility of an open bed. It has useful features like an easy to use tailgate. Lockable bed cover and built in cargo bed beverage cooler any adventure you can imagine. Santa cruz delivers bill. To help you. On the journey to all of your firsts. It's also packed with available tech like bose premium audio and hyundai digital key. Which lets you unlock your door with. Just your phone pair. 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Maybe you're not either way. This story is for you. Equal to is brought to you by the emmy award winning team that created rising phoenix the film about the paralympic games and made possible by the support of procter and gamble listen to equal to equal. T. o. part of senecas conversations on the iheartradio app apple podcasts. A- wherever you get your podcasts transcripts will be available. It's crazy how much we have to pay for outdated impersonal healthcare and even crazier that we all just accepted. It's time to face facts. Healthcare is backwards. Luckily there's forward a new approach primary care that surprisingly personal and refreshingly straightforward forward never makes you feel like just another patient backed by top rated doctors and the latest tech forward gives you access to personalized care whenever you need it. Using in-depth genetic analysis in real time bloodwork forwards top-rated doctors provide you with in-depth insights to understand your genetics mental and physical health. They then create custom easy to understand plans to help guide you to achieving long-term health with forward you get unlimited in person visits with your doctor and access to care anytime via the forward app offer. One flat monthly fee. It's time to stop accepting backwards. Healthcare and start moving. Your health forward visit go forward dot com today to learn more. That's go forward dot com. Hello everyone welcome back to help suck at park at dating. We are going to get into listener. Qna's that we had you guys on our instagram page. Just a couple of days ago. I think if you don't already follow us on instagram help underscore i underscore suck underscore at underscore. Dating by dating underscores the spaces. She follow 'cause jared a super active on it. And you're not gonna wanna miss any sweet helped by second dating updates. So jared question submitted for you. Jared are you and actually doing anything to keep the marriage spicy during pregnancy. Not as of yet age. I mean honestly. We haven't had much intimacy of past few months couple months just because of how bad ashley's been feeling she's been thrown up daily and then pretty sick and not feeling her best. And it's it's been fine you know. Just you know you prioritize things and I'm sure we will over the next. You know weeks or months work on things spice things up. It was actually really funny not to like get to gross into it but obviously when a woman is pregnant her body starts changing. And i'm sure she doesn't mind me sharing this i. I touched her nipples yesterday. Did they're like weird. She was telling me about it because she she actually wants to show me pictures because like they they just like get huge and like they're big they've gone like very big and apparently not nearly as big as some other women have to go through. But it's just like crazy. You know what i mean. When you say big like areola is expanding like the nipple part is getting longer both the nipple parts long. And i mean i'll ask her. Hopefully she doesn't mind me saying this. Podcast ashley loves over sharing. It's great it's part of what makes her so endearing she also i nothing jerry. No that's what. I said comparably speaking nothing. All right well comparably speaking. Apparently they're nothing but they're still pretty long your plenty of unusual there. Let's just be clear have gigantic. She does not have gigantic areolas. Don't want anybody imagining indicate. Nobody's imagine that we would just want to set the record straight on this. No gigantic aerial is just little very pointing. But they're definitely pointer than i'm used to. So when i miss it i was like holy crap. I just didn't expect it. Because i haven't taken a detailed look at him late road and it was kind of funny but no. I'm sure to answer your question while. I'm very much over sharing. I'm sure over the next couple months we will do things spice things up like some nipple play today to comparatively to other people maybe not huge but relative to their. They used to be even noticed significant growth. So i think you're you're justified in talking about your wife's nipples like that i love my wife's nipples. Yeah that's great and now there's more of them to love so dean. Let me ask a question for you dean. Do you think kaylin is your soulmate. And if yes or no. Do you believe in soul mates Soulmates i we've talked about this on the podcast awhile ago i like. I was curious about it. I was like. I wonder if things i'm her soulmate so i texted her. She says yes. I would i would say yes but with a asterix of saying. I don't really believe in soulmates. So that makes no sense. Caitlyn is my soul mate. I just don't believe them. If so missouri thing. I would say yes. She's my while that's very sweet. Answer i don't believe so made. Surreal so i say. No g thinks that. We're so me. And i appreciate you in the next few. Well a nice. It's a nice answer. Could be nicer. Jared does ashley have a limit on how long you'll grow your hair. And but yeah. I don't think she wants to any longer than it is right now. I actually just got a trim but it's still not that shore. I am going to cut it short probably sometime over the winter. Maybe early next year somewhere around there go back to like the length i had at the wedding. She input on the link though she likes this length. She likes this length lot. She doesn't want it pretty much any longer than this. You know like like. I stated before tom cruise mission impossible to that's like the longest. It's gonna get. But i liked the long hair. I it's just like as you know manage dislike especially in this he holy crap. It's like a mop on your head. I don't know how a lot of people with long hair do it but I do miss my short hair at times as well. So i'm excited. I'm excited to come my hair short. But i also know once i do. I'm going to immediately regret it here so funny because like all like go back through old pictures and i'll see myself short hair and i'm like wow. I was so much more handsome short hair. And then i'll go back further to where my hair was longer than it is now and i was like man. I was so much more hansen with that long long hand. It's like it doesn't make any sense so pretty much. You're just saying you're always handsome. So handsome i think in the present moment i'm always in. I'm like i'm the least attractive version of myself. And for some reason i look back at old pictures and i'm like wow you're so much better looking back then especially better looking than you are now. You know what i mean. And i'm sure like in a year. I'm gonna look back on a picture that i took of myself yesterday and be like. Wow dude you so much. More handsome in montana when you recorded that podcast and your brothers truck in the parking lot of a breakfast diner but i think obviously you're peaking right now but your second highest peak was definitely rate around the last paradise you were on kaylin. I love your so consistent with this walking onto the beach and all black outfit because at the wedding you look great too but dude when you walk down those stairs both. I'll never forget ashley. And i looked at each other. Like i dare kaylynn to not leave with this guy. I dare her to try. That's because you know. I didn't feel cute in that moment. I remember that moment so specifically because i like wanted my hair to be nice and you know how like especially when you have long hair you wanna like shampoo and conditioner like a day or two before you want people like before it looks. It's best right. Yeah you kinda like get like a couple of days in advance. And i remember like i think in the hotel always staying in. There was no conditioner something like that. And so i couldn't condition my hair. And i was like. Oh this is gonna suck. I'm gonna walk down there and my hair is going to be all greasy and gross and i remember that day like i was like trying to like style appropriately. They wouldn't let me wear my headband. Which was wearing season. Because i was like a weird awkward stage and i was like oh my hair is just not going to be good but then it looked good on camera. I think there was like some editing or something involved because it looked pretty good. Yeah look to mason. I don't think it was editing. I think it was just the glow are we'll do one more question before we go into our email. This is for both of us. Would you rather be stuck in a room with your significant other or would you rather be stuck in a room with your significant other or with your celebrity crush. My significant other. Sorry because it says. Would you rather be stuck in a room with your significant other with your ex or celebrity crush. Oh how Even a question of course my significant other with your acts. So it'd be like you. Actually you actually kayla like in a room together or you and penelope cruz penelope criticism. My my crush. I mean she's very attractive. Who is jennifer. Lopez was crushed. Quite some time still is obviously I would say rachel. Rachel mcadams was a big crush. Emma stone was a big crush like all very basic answers. Who's yours. i'm going to try to think of a better. My celebrity mean gal gadot up there. Obviously she's cool. I think my celebrity crush going to get in trouble for saying this. I guess it's like the only only non photographer celebrity that i follow on instagram. Alexis ren so i would say that's my celebrity crush alexis ren who's that. She's just like some girl. I'm gonna going forward right now. I feel guilty about it. Actually on well i she like. Who is this human being. Oh she's fourteen the blonde. She's like on dancing with the stars. She used today. Jay who. I also follow who. I've also been meaning on follow. Because he's just like weird. Is it this person that was my celebrity crush and caylin concerned too. But like i said. I'm going i'm going through with on following rate this on file. We don't need that. Hey i i kinda wanted to resent brought this question up ash. Would you rather be stuck in a room with me or lear. Not at capri. Oh you had to choose one. Are you serious. Wow that's so sweet. She said she'd rather be stuck in a room with me rather than li. Oh you're so. Sweet i said you too and i did all right well. Let's get into email before we had to answer this evening. Ask me any of the other questions. I want to answer this. I want so read that one for me. How does dean deal with differences of religion with kaelin. And how would work with your kids. If you guys have your one and i think that you were doing it because you thought i didn't want to answer it but i do want to answer it and i'm going to answer right now. Great we have different takes on religion kaylynn and i. Obviously i am agnostic more or less raised presbyterian since transitioned into agnostic. So i don't really believe in anything. I don't disbelieve in anything. But i'm kinda like convinced me like if something came down and they were like okay. The this is real. Here's proof haddock okay. Cool that makes sense. I believe now. Kaylin is pretty christian. She goes to church pretty often. She's got like her religious texts that she has around like. She writes her daily prayers. That kind of stuff. And i think that there is probably a growing number of these like interfaith or lack thereof relationships. And that's kind of why. I wanted to answer it. I think the biggest thing is just like openness to talk about a an like an understanding that just because you think something different than the other person doesn't mean the other person is more wrong or less right than you. Are you know what i mean. So like when it comes to religion. Ceylan and i i like support her religion and her religious efforts and all that kind of stuff and i think at the end the day like she's not throwing it in my face like she's not like throwing christianity and my face and as long as he's not doing that i totally don't care like she can do whatever she wants. She can believe whatever he wants. I like presser on a couple of certain things like factual reasonings as to why things are the way they are especially when it comes to like religious pressure on it just like to egg gain clarity for myself and i like him just curious to see what she has to say about a lot of that stuff in so she is always gonna be christian and i love that and i think that she definitely should and if we have kids i i guess we've never really talked about gas because that that was my next question because obviously it's finally you guys can say. Hey i believe this. I believe then we can live and love each other for that but then how do you do the kids. What are you going to do with your with little baby dean with well once a little baby. Dean comes into the world and february. We haven't really talked about it. Ashley and i think are both very similar on our religious beliefs. It's not a big factor in our lives. Know we don't go to church. I think both of us like to believe in a higher power but we definitely are also agnostic to a certain extent. I think we both believe that. Something's there we just don't know what it is so I think that's how we're going to raise our kids. And you know. I'm going to introduce our kids to a lot of different ideas and and beliefs and i want them to be exposed to a bunch of different ideas and you know we'll we'll womb will work together as a family through it. You grew up a catholic right. Yeah so you went to church every sunday with your parents. No i mean i we would go to church. Good churchgoers so. That's why i was never really a huge factor in my life. We always believed in the presence of god and and to a certain extent. I do now today. Because i want to buy also realize that you know there might not be but you know shoes to believe in a higher power because i want to. I'll take your opinion on this. Then let's say kaelin. And i have a kid and she wants to take it to church. Take it as if it's just a thing she wants to take the kid to church to instill some religious values as a young age. But i don't and i don't care about it so would you say that like just them to should go to church and i stay home or should i be supportive and go with them all. Even though i don't believe in it you know what i mean like. What would you advise some like someone in my situation in that to do. Well i would say that you should go with them and explain things you know because i think probably one of the reasons why you're agnostic is as you grow. Older things are more. Explain to you. And i think then you look through a different lens at certain things in your life and so i think if you wanted to just give your child as much knowledge as possible to let them make the best decision then i would go with them. I wouldn't like just be like. Oh you do whatever you want to do. And then we're not gonna talk about it. I think the best course would be you to join them because like if you're in hostage then you don't really care about going to church you can go. You can go to get up early on sunday and drive to the church and sit through trip. He get some coffee on the way. I mean honestly. Of course each family needs to decide what's best for themselves but if you're asking for my advice that would be my advice. Good advice good advice and if it's on a sunday. Hey maybe i can sneak my phone in and watch some Some nfl red zone or something. While this is going on anyways we are going to get to one Quick email and then we are going to let you guys get the heck outta here. Because i'm sick of sitting in this truck. The email is this from chat. Do have anyone out there that wants to read this anyone in the podcasting universe that wants to read this. I'll read it if you if you ask. I haven't read in a while. I hi. This is an email from chad. Months ago i slept with one of my family friends. The family is literally my second family. We spend all major holidays together. We go on vacations. She is four years younger than me is like my little sister. I have never thought of her as attractive. And this was just a drunk mistake. I am now super nervous anxious about being around her family. And i hope no one ever finds out. How do i not act awkward. When i see her help damrau. So you hooked up with your little sister. That's so this sweet home alabama music a guide you sleep. Would someone please. Don't ever describe them. And like hell man. I saw kiat. I don't know this is just weird. And i never thought of her as attractive and this was a drunk mistake. I just i guess okay. Let's let's start by saying this. She never needs to know that you don't find her attractive in be that you think it was the drunken mistake. Those things should never leave your mouth again when it comes to talking about this especially with her you just just go talk to her and say that was great but we never are going to do it again. That's i would say and if we maybe throw in like an also if we can keep it a secret that'd be really great. I don't know that's my advice. What you think i know. There's there has to be more than that that has to happen but yeah i don't know kind of stone to me. I just think like yeah. Go talk to her. Hopefully family doesn't find out. Hopefully you guys can move on talk to her. That's important but don't say it was a mistake. And i don't find you attractive yet definitely. Don't say that. Just say hey. Was you know one. I'm not sure if we should do this again. You know it's complicated situation kia. I got nothing just like so awkward. I got nothing for you on this one. Sorry east you can draw from experience on this one care obvious. Slept really a close family friend. Like that and i have not regretted anyone i've ever had sex with faces a gift that should be cherished in treasured beautiful but damn i think i agree with you. Guys got to say hey. That was fun you know. I wouldn't expect it to happen again. Because the the complexities around our relationship and how we know each other very much treasure you as a friend and i would like to continue that friendship and if it were me i would want to be. I would probably want to distance myself from this person for a while. Kennedy don't go to the family parties for a little while. Yeah yeah. I mean i. I don't i don't know how old chat is but like i don't know how often these events are happening these days. But yeah i would sit out the next barbecue or two and and but you know have a conversation where there and beyond because you don't want her to feel like like oh. Hey we did this and then he just like disappeared. What happened but Yeah i don't say you you don't find her attractive and then it was a mistake. That's good advice to not let that. Leave your mouth right. I agree with your take. The complexities thing really sold me. You are a man with a very great vocabulary. Thank you thank you. We're economies important to me are going to do it on this week's episode of help i suck dating east and thank you so much for reading that email and thank you chad for that. Email was thank you for setting in wishing you the best of luck with that buddy and please keep emailing us. Everybody listening we love your emails. Deans favor report. Podcast is legitimately sticks around. I dating iheartmedia dot com. You can also follow us at help. Izhak dating on instagram. Thank you to everybody who chimed in for the questions on instagram. Thank you alex. Rodriguez for posting a dumb pitcher so we can talk about it and i think that's going to do it. So what can they do next week. Dean oh my gosh they tune. 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