The War On Morons Episode 77 - Day of the Braindead


It seems like they're where you turn. Every single day they invade the headlines and the other half we criminal with half-baked scheme. I met a social media simpleton going viral another florida man stretching the bounds of stupidity over another temperature and that's not even the worst from the empty talking heads in the cable news channels to humulus hats in hollywood to the pea brain politicians in the puppet strings everywhere. You look. there's another idiot telling you how to live your life more. Joe the man without a brain. I'll have to just circle back with joe biden much. Why as sofi route so strong. so good so irreverent. Would you don't miss and took a trip to the north pole. I went there and vaccinated santa claus myself now. People won't get sick. It's ninety percent effective and just kinda saw the reason that my friend. Jamal dad lives in jail right berry. How old black. People in america's daddy's live in jail done my and keeping warm. Look sissy will jian. And lisa have had enough all with clever satire madcap humor and the craziest cast of characters in podcasting landing up and taking aim at the world of stupidity every single week because it is time to go to war though war on more raw s tuesday. Twenty twenty twenty one a niches episode. Seventy seven of the wall of what light. I was just doing it as trying to thing. Okay all right going. Land lover radio here. I don't know what i thought i was trying to do. Like a michael caine was like michael caine. Oh i heard pirate. Today is tuesday. April twenty of twenty twenty one and this is episode. Seventy seven of the war on morons. I'm jay and i haven't easter and welcome to the show where we laugh at dumb ass. So you don't have to. But you still working. In on the tagline we'll get there anyway though Yes four twenty man so yeah like a basically data of the dumb ass. Yeah look these days. I can't even blame him. Look without world right now. Look out side. I mean what's going on. If you're you're probably going to need to be at this rate if you're not light one up emulating something else idea. Feel the warmth in the air you know not not from everybody sparking up. A fatty matt from the mid april sunshine got now From the blazing fires set by the peaceful protesters burning down your neighborhood because it's officially riot season in moron america holly luhya earlier than usual this year. You know i thought. Summer didn't come in minnesota until after the show. Trials were over but they just had to go instead of just coincidence right. Yeah remember when minneapolis was nice. Place i got. I always free over like you know. Company holds a low thirty. That's not nice. I'm sorry i didn't say. Remember when minneapolis was a cold A warm place remember. Minneapolis was a nice place. Like how could anybody be happy there. That's the whole thing. It's minnesota nice. They printed on t shirts on coffee mug. They have to act nice because they're all serial killers because they all get frozen in the winter. Maybe i don't know i. I think it used to be a really really nice. But now it's like an even colder detroit with less jobs more crime in violent riots. Every single day sounds like paradise. You know i mean but of course i mean. It's not surprising that it's worse than detroit. I mean detroit least has robocop minnesota. I don't know what they have. But they're police keep killing people so you know. That's that's really lovely. Even robocup wasn't exactly unitarian. He got shit done he. He had a decent budget. I'd say like He was not. He was not minnesota or ice or whatever but these minnesota idiots. Jesus they're always trying to defend their police neon put in these identity quotas. They make him take like sociology courses. Or whatever and then they wonder why all the competent cops quit the force that somehow. That's never the democrats fall right. I mean they've only held every political office in the state for decades later that they were the only state voted against reagan but they act like donald trump personally ordered the execution of that Innocent sweet peaceful young man was hit. He's clearly not doing anything wrong. You know you know. I mean. I've seen a lot of people talking about the video of this one but it's not going viral. Pretty sure it's already been grab from youtube. Seen it right now. It came back very it. Looks like if yes me you know. It looks like a loss seen from reno nine one one guy. There's a couple of bumbling idiot cops and a dumb ass crook. Who gets himself shot. There's so there's a black officer there. They probably don't talk about that on on. Cnn the black officer. He doesn't get the handcuffs on this guy right so then the guy tries to break away in. I'm laughing because it's okay. Give us a piece of fat. And he was his oral is a he breaks out of the handcuffs and he just tries to jump back in his car. And then the female cop guessing maybe another affirmative action hire can be cops. This woman shouldn't be okay. Well that affair. She gets so flustered. she thinks she's pull their tasers. And it's not just like up. Who's got my taser. Like teaser teaser. Keizer i got like danger here. I'm gonna take you you motherfucker. She says it like fifteen times and she turns out. It's not it's not a tasers it's like a it's a real gun. He's dead like if you person are you that you take your chances with a taser like somebody's like screaming at you. I'm gonna taste you motherfucker and you're like well. It could be really bad if you're a career criminal that you know you make your living robbing women at gunpoint. Maybe he's been teased a few times like wherever than her that much. But i mean she looked like deputy weigel from reno nine one one but ironically without the racism. I mean if trudy weigel had been nearly i mean. I'm just saying it'd be some n. bombs on that body cam all right just saying all right this. This is the story that caused the another race riot. All because i tried to run on warren and they couldn't wait. I mean they were a race riot anyway. They all knew they're going to have a race right in any way a week later like it was all circled on the calendar. But they're just like i mean. I guess everybody's appalling here guy. These stupid cops couldn't just take this moron criminal end without killing him. Yeah that's true. I mean how you the same county. Fuck up the hand cuffs Sorry that's not racism that's just plain stupidity. Yeah don okay like this ridiculous. I don't know why they always going to be racing of all i mean. Yeah the guy the he. He's the minority. Just like top serb minority. But this is this ridiculous. When did the rules change. I thought he was pretty common knowledge. Whether you're white lack something else you know if you try to fight off the cops and jumping your card or run away. You might happen no matter what color you are right. I thought everybody played grand theft auto grownup. I'm pretty sure this is a good way to get wasted. Wasting they did do that. I mean you know. Gte five. They don't send out a few hundred like npc's to burn down los santos if you lose a shootout the cost. There's not like a little digitally rendered. Cnn reporters down. They're telling everybody at san. Andreas said you want it. To be supreme court justice when you grow up you know before we started shooting meth in doing all and robin limited gunpoint for the rent money knew i mean all these years to censorship. Crowd should have been encouraging kids to play violent video games. Maybe native learned the lesson. That's right risk of say right here. Racism didn't kill. george. Floyd didn't kill whatever this other kid's name was. Racism didn't kill lil homicide and derek. Chauvin didn't kill these guys. Chinese federal didn't kill these guys here at the war on morons specifically me j i blame tipper gore or the my pillow guy. What michael yeah speaking of censorship. Did you see the latest venture. he god it you. I'm glad you brought. That was so fucking cringe. Really the free speech platform except the only biblically approved speech. Yeah i mean technically. I think he's calling it a judeo christian social media platform like what i get the note pornography roy. I didn't even okay. Yeah you know. We don't need to go on social media pornography. i think he lost me at the no profanity. Thank you lost the now Enforce it but how is he gonna enforce no lying. You know you're gonna crack editor former crack. I mean i think people are lying about every goddamn thing. He'll just from the frigate laugh. I can see it as just sitting there. I don't. I don't believe what you're saying there because you i mean honestly though it's it's pretty hilarious. The the rules that he's come up with this. I mean i have to wonder if when you log in for the first time you know you sign terms and conditions. I wonder if instead of having like a long serving conditions that everyone scrolls past. Click through if they'll just have a cross stitch from his dan that says no fussing no cussing a note off back or will stone you. Yeah as so says the lord. It's it's right there in deuteronomy. Thirteen ten if you'll put fake news on the internet that my friend donald trump dayton actually win four hundred ten electoral votes before the chinese hackers dominion servers in germany. We're going still you to death. That's what he's gonna say. You now just goes to show some people. Maybe they just shouldn't stop smoking. Crack your earphones mike. Lindell get back on a out via back to the riots back to the rights. They're burning down half the country again and it's all back in minnesota into this going twelve fair but at least on the pride side. That woman from lack lives matter can go by her wife another house now. Yes thank god. Though the one black life that she's actually day you are everybody else's neighborhoods on fire right. Everybody else's businesses are getting looting night critical. Maybe they'll even get shot but hey donations are up. I mean high for that longer. Don't eat a couple hundred million right before their store got looted and destroyed doesn't matter doesn't matter it's all like a giant corporate insurance. This point prize driving's fraud. They all want to remodel their stores. And they're like black lives matter they'll go and tear it down and we'll get the insurance money to rebuild a brand new storefronts beacon a robocop. I think that was. I think that was in robocop. But i mean yeah i mean the blm check tune patrisse cullors or whatever she got paid. You know. it's like a wonderful life. Every time everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wing every time a crackhead get shot by the cops a marxist. Lesbian gets another mansion. It's hard isn't it folks. You know the good news is we did finally figure out where although it's donations rents. I feel like i say this all the time. But we're in the wrong business. I should've been grafters. Absolutely you know we should have been running a billion dollar criminal organization like. I'm sure that works out really well. It does if you're back by the illegitimate you know illegitimate federal government. Well that that would help. Besides you know honestly. I couldn't her much easier way race so quick money. No rioting needed okay. We're gonna start selling the federal now. I could you see what they're doing in new york. Yeah they're moving to florida well. Besides that they're actually cutting fifteen thousand dollar checks for legal immigrants. What now. That's what. I call a stimulus folks for one. Where the fuck the new york get fifteen thousand dollars at all but they just got out of debt From us from the rest of the trying to get back in it now they know how to do all right. Well new plan. We're going to get a coyotes. Hey we're gonna go to mexico myrtle to mexico and then we're mystique beck in. That's it illegal immigrants. Now the plan will get a literally or something. Yeah coon hang out for a while senior frogs and it'll be we'll save money on airfare. We'll get a one way ticket and will get some cuomo bucks work at some hiking in on the way back to you. Know you wanna make your tax money work for you folks. You wanna protect your future go to mexico and you know comeback and that could actually work i mean you know. What are they gonna do. Ask for my papers. I don't know stinking papers. Give me my new sasha. Id card debit anyways. More than enough. Preamble thanks everybody for tuning in to another exciting episode. Wm either on the video feed of course it. Tv dot gov dot com or begrudgingly. You're on youtube. Thanks for tuning a youtube crab on her youtube. Search us out specifically. Yeah when they had the find. This track is doing it. I'm say i have no. We got a lot more youtube views last week than we had in the last month. So thank you. I don't know where people came from. Of course big thanks to the audio listeners. At the podcast feed hami media. Group dot five dot com. We got a hell of a broadcast guys. Tonight got fake racism fake crime fake news organizations pretty much. Fake everything now. It's hey but it's real. These are unfortunately at line. And it's going to be real fun show and if you wanna be part of it we want you to be a part of the show too so give us. A cau- are hotline. Is eight one three nine six nine zero nine nine or email us at the war on morons or finally best of all. Leave a comment in the chat in. Now it's time for the stack of stupidity. You all right. Let's start things off tonight with the most pressing item of the day because with blue cities on fire from coast to coast. Somebody has to come up with the solution that we're he'll america and insteps congresswoman were league. Yes the squad member with a scowl capable of distilling plant tap water. I can feel the love already. I mean is it just me or does every single one of these leftists in congress of face like halloween masks. Okay well that sada's she did make the more on headlines for saying law enforcement should be banned. There's one solution i guess. Kinda the sinoe evil approach her direct quotas that policing in our country is inherently an intentionally racist. and that policing and incarceration can't be reformed. I think this would be a good place to point out. Mitt rashida to lead represents detroit michigan. Which has the second highest violent crime rate in the entire country. Nan which has lost sixty percent of its population since her party to go over the city ends a lot of people. Your point is the will. I'll even inspiring leader. Yes choosing sparking people. Get the fuck out that warzone hoping. She didn't say where the hope and change has to come from but she's part of the hope and change if i could change my address ragged. That's how change and you don't think we should take those ideas. When all i'm saying is that when robo cop does show up having these people will get. They're going to get what they fucking deserve. they'll call them racists to you. I mean he's a isn't he. He's a cyborg out but he but he yeah he was a white cop before they before they made him into a rogue ops out robot clan. What if what if. That's what they do with derek chauvin. What if that outside of the box you know like fairly like how can you satisfy him with this verdict. 'cause i mean everybody. He didn't kill the guy right right But like all those people and all people minnesota they're not gonna accept anything but basically drawing and quartering right. What if they're like all right. Let dare we're gonna turn you fucking cyborg. We're gonna make robocop minnesota cops can't get it done. I mean i'm pretty sure. That's like against the geneva convention. The convention i wanna see robo derek. Chauvin i wanna see him. Takeover minneapolis policing out a whole stop. Creep. don't pass that fake twenty year. The have to rewrite his line. It'll be like white devil. Speaking of racism have privilege. But he's only going to go after the the in the course of soda wouldn't any like he can't see color he literally. He can't see people without with melanin in there. He just got around can laser him. All the white people minnesota. We used to have a lot of scandinavian people here. It's everybody's talking to clicks now. Isn't derek bro. Derek chauvin literally ethnically cleansed minnesota. He murdered every white person guy but he had the squats happy. Let's other stories. So smooth on that some fucking image so anyway the director of the cdc. She might have come out with even dumber statement. What we just did well last week. She called racism a serious public health threat. Racism pump the how. Maybe it's like a mental health. Read i mean these lunatics. Think everything in the world racist more or less ida. I the other day that cheeses racist. Jeez mets while. I'm just going to read this statement from because it really is unbelievable so so she said to build a healthier america for all we must confront the systems in policies that have resulted in the generational injustice that has given rise to racial and ethnic health inequities numb and of course she was talking about cove and of course yeah so she continues as the covid. Nineteen pandemic continues to disproportionately plague lacking brown communities. It's clear that collective action from all stakeholders is needed to dismantle systemic racism and confront embed advance equity across our healthcare system. None of that makes any fucking sense. It doesn't put you know what you know what you know what makes even less sense. These people think healthcare is racist when there is considering the much obvious. Layton tracked healthcare in america. Sucks it sucks and it needs to be fixed raise if you get crappy health care from a doctor or hospital and your person you're can crappy healthcare chris. You're lack you're getting crappy healthcare The doctors spital psych. Everyone's under staff. Obviously the solution is more communism that that'll make everything. Better will make a better who will have excellent healthcare. Oh yes big solution you don't. Maybe i'm just spitballing here. But at this actually true right if you could actually prove this. These folks shouldn't have spent half the year telling people the only time they didn't have stay on lockdown for kobe. Nineteen wants to go to like ten thousand strong black lives matter protests Logical never get that. I know well all right. Fear not america because now at least you can be assured the right people are stepping up to do their part to fight disease of racism. That's right the girl. Scouts are stepping in the way the girl scouts. Yes other fuck. Do they still exist. You mean i mean. That's i'm just gonna say that's really transphobic. I'm offended anybody. Could be a girl boy. They didn't say the border girl scouts. The girl scouts probably just like. I'm just picturing that. It's just a fat dude in a party dress with purple hair. Like a big bushy beard. How cod hanging out in the woods with a bunch of little boys in their lesbian mothers makeup. Just you know pop in hormone blockers and doing nitrous god and most importantly to the girl scouts girl scouts talking about anti-racism that's right gs usa as they're now called charming right off the tile. It really does. They just accepted a five hundred thousand dollar donation from the ford foundation to conduct a thorough audit of its organization and evaluate experiences of members and non members worldwide or in other words. They're being investigated by a left wing political group to make sure they are anti-racist all right i'm guessing no more somali cookies right. Those are racist. Samoa's right. I mean look at this. I mean. they don't eat cookies. I know samoa. You think samoa joe would eat a cookie and i think he would need a few thousand space admits though i mean after all just told us a few weeks ago that obesity is racist. So you know. I mean made throughout. Actually get rid of all cookies. Because then they can't sell them and then they can't participate capitalists southbank. There's nothing more racist than capitalism. I think the nike commercial so must be captured center And no more camping. I think we covered it last month. Camping is racist. Lack people aren't allowed to go camping. Silom god i made our reservation at the state heart undermining. Because you've tried to go in and do it wouldn't have let you joe biden would find out they. Would you the favor scan. There'd be like thirty two moose outside should've told you but no blacks allowed. Haven't you heard you heard camping racist you. Blacks can't figure out. Would so my and i mean you know it's it's it really makes you wonder though i mean what are the gs. Usa members gonna do all day anyways on what else. They're going to get molested by their leaders. And if you've got a problem with that you are a pedophiliac bigot. And racist yes anyway. It looks like we're getting our first. Call avai a probably a good time. Yeah yeah i. I don't think i can take anymore. Make racism as take all right all right hello caller. You're on the air with the war on morons. Tell us your name where you're calling from. My name's biddy. I mean i'm from naples. Naples florida can you hear me. Can you hear me on the radio. Yes many you're on the war on moron old. Oh my god. that's great. that's great you know i. I'm so happy to. I'm on radio kid. Shouldn't we're on the show. Her kids on the radio. Say hi did show. The kids don't want to say anything. Oh probably listening anyway so you choke it know we. We're all listening. We're unleashing you know it. Don't bother me to you know. Let the kids listening to this show. I mean they. They eighty little bit entertainment. You know we're we're out here in the woods. You know new bit of away Camping camping trip a little bit of a adventure show they. Adt they need to have to help. Healthcare brain relax. You don't you don't think about the predicament. That they're in Yeah 'cause we're little bit a little bit off the beaten path you know. I try surprised. Then i got through. I can't believe i to signal down here in florida. You know mean as long as you know as long as you know what you do. And i mean it's your family your business. It doesn't sound like the family. I don't got no kids. No no we didn't bother me. Nothing i don't. I mean the i did the boy scouts. I'm a boy scout coop leader. Okay okay okay okay. I'm here with my like you know. How kids are these but against you can call them. Like hey hey they. You're my kids right. Save something yeah right. We were a day three of the trip here. You know it. Don't bother me. Nothing you know i get out about but i mean these kids do they to use your legs. Maybe they're not used to track it and so much You know we. We'll make sure we don't bring too much food. We don't bring too much water. So we could really get a sense of you know as you kinda like like in seminole seminole indians you know like a seven old adventure survival trip cocoa. Why wouldn't you tons of water me. Not just basic you don't they. Mother nature provides mother nature provides. That's what i think he's He's boys you know it's You know we we're gonna get a full from them and we're gonna get our water from the land that but that's not why i called. That's i mean that's kind of why i called. You know you were talking about scouts. And i figured you know. Are you talking about this. Then i can call in you know because You know i. I've i always want to call this time you know. It sounds that could've show you know to tell you the truth. I don't like it that much but You know it doesn't it doesn't bother me you know if you know something even you know. Don't bother me. Hey thanks for the of you know 'cause 'cause normally you don't talk about the nike and i can call lied about 'cause I you know. I do this on the weekends and stuff like that but i'm normally i just work in the neighborhood. You know neighborhood watch guy. I told you know down here in florida. You know a lot of people moving down here now on a lot of people you know where i tell you know every day i i've been i've been knocking on doors. I've been snooping around. I've been doing my investigation or your friend to make sure that everything's on the up and up as you know you got these people coming down to you from new york coming down to you from From new jersey. Coming down to your for me. She and i mean not. Don't you know anything about it but They don't bother me too much. But lately i've been seen in the news is there's a lot of these These mexican families. No i don't. I don't necessarily want him coming in my neighborhood. You know so I gotta make sure that they don't have any mexican That they didn't What what what. Sex trafficking is due. And you know. I gotta tell you benny. You might not just buckle up because dot on how many of these mexicans. There are some insane number. I mean there's gonna be everywhere. Yeah well i just wanna make sure the mexican six traffickers in the neighborhood. So i just been you know somebody with the you. Hone or you know with the The ryder truck or with a with odd unit or something like that in the neighborhood. I just go up and say you know i asked him. Why are you coming in the neighborhood. Why are you moving in you hiding any kids. You hide mini little girls seven protect on the internet. You gotta. I didn't that you hold trump people that don't get offended them a little bit. But it's my job you know 'cause neighborhood watch we have to know these things so i if they don't give me an answer that i can You know respect. And i have to wait until the The golden store or something or go to work. And you know they're not get my kenniston united you start doing snooping around. It's gotta make sure. They got no girl tightening their. I don't. I don't want them to feel old. Billy that sounds like you're breaking into the older. Don't hold on what we know. We're not gonna call your mommy. No no where survival cryptically. No use one of these kids. He's talking to my my sto- you fifa trip. If you wanna get a survival bad you can't be bothering me. Nothing you know. You can't be bothered. You felt leader on the radio. You know i've only got five percent battery left on my on my cell phone you talked to the show on the radio and look. I don't care. I told you if you want to drink water you gotta pee in the water bag. You gotta watch what i mean so i mean this is a survival trips you know. They think it's just a regular camping trip. I tell them no. We're gonna learn how to forage. We're gonna we're gonna learn how to how to get our food from the from the nature. I milk if it's if it grows in in in the woods you can eat it You know i mean. There's a good tasty mushrooms berries. Mushrooms varies ed. These kids being tortured new. Seventy seventy seventy years old. Get back to their parents into date is okay no. Hey hey you better wake up. I told you if you fall asleep under survival we might hate you but we don't have too much need let you know it. Don't bother me nothing. Iv lot of children. Before these kids you know they. They don't make them like they used to. One thing about each children doing on comment actually gonna eat them new for you. Run out of four. Having that might be. It might be something we could do aren't you. Aren't you just a campfire. Jesus christ don't they have got really a campground out here down here in the in the slump down here but I mean it's okay because you know you don't wanna drink. Peter stay watering the swamp. Oh boy. I barely got any battery you on the cellphone. I probably should have brought a battery pack and me get lost of any nowhere. Well you know. I could find my way back. Luckily i got my own food. Carry for me. Hey hey come on. Hey kevin going well. he's lost. he's lost. I ain't going over there and there the panthers or something there. You're not responsible or ham. Even mike generally food. You're not might be. Don't bother me. Nothing they don't bother me anyway I just want everybody to know I if if you're in the scouts remember to be loyal and be be good crew Just like my my my kids here. If you're in my neighborhood there don't become year with. Don't be coming here no sex trafficking like you might have an opening on your trip now that whatever. His name was ran off into the swamp. It's okay if his parents really care this year to anyway we we We're gonna we're listening to your show from the phone battery runs out. I don't eat any. Children are let them die lease. We'll see Pretty concerned about them. I mean if you get so forget lost in what are they. Lost in the everglades. Are you saying it bothers you. What is supposed to do is call nine. one one. I dunno scouts are gone. Downhill it out. Yeah i i mean what were the eating pretty much any a foraging. That's storage right if you know how to avoid the poisonous plans. I'm sure that wake up. I well my guy they'll be okay. They'll they'll be okay. let's not worry about. I'm sure he'll be five. What are we gonna do. We're in the middle of the show. Okay right all right. Somebody listening out there. Maybe no no keep listening to our show. Okay yeah he's a he's a train scout leader something anyway. I've actually got a story that could kind of follow bet that call up really well while if that guy does make it out of the forest and i imagine he would lose a scouts. Skin helps Maybe he can move to portland. Why anti would they allow him to be a troop leader based on how he identifies. We'll keep you identifies as troop leader without being qualified with that count like like delta airlines or whatever it was probably antifa of course is in charge in berlin basically. We know their official candidate didn't quite win the mayoral election last year. We all know who's running the show. People who set the police creasing on fire renite exactly and yet. Somehow it still standing honestly. It's a good thing. Those antifa types were never actually in the scouts. I mean could you imagine if they actually knew how to start like a real fire like portland would not exist any jail. But that's we're getting way off track so so. The point is the city of portland. Saw a twenty six year high in homicides in twenty twenty and killings are actually up nineteen hundred percent in the first three months of twenty twenty one which is unbelievable members by the way people just getting gunned down in the streets. I mean it's grand theft auto portland shea got. They're going nuts but anyway they're answer to all of this is to hire more park rangers to patrol the city head. So that's is going with. Maybe this guy if he makes out of the woods down there you can go. You can go to portland. They're hiring what the fuck is a park rangers. I mean take fires. Well i mean they can. They can give you a you know you come jokes on you. Antifa you've said the fund the police. But she didn't say anything about the goddamn department. So what's out. It'd be hilarious if that wasn't exactly what they're doing out there. So unarmed hapless asks ranger dan. Now he's gonna take on the militia black-clad gun-toting communist psychopaths. That's the plan like that. That's that's the plan. That's oh you know i actually. I have to tell you little lindelof subject here. But i used to think about becoming a park ranger. I love nature. You know you get a federal benefits. you know. It's not a bad gig but weapons training know. Oh what kind of what kind of firearms do carry. But you know the thing that back honestly was not not really a whole heck of a lot of a career path. You know you're kind of like in one role for the rest of your life. Well now folks if you felt the same way i did when you were looking at the potential for park ranger role. Fear no more. There is now a exciting career path ahead of you you can go from patrolling your local state or national park to patrolling the streets of portland facing violent criminals. It's like a real life backman video game except you don't have a bat suit or any weapons or trading whatsoever and the criminals are all gonna kill you. So i like but may maybe they can help to prevent the forest fires. I mean that would be lost. Just a guy stop. Stop throwing those molotov cocktails everywhere stop. Stop shooting those bobble rockets at everybody. It's different yeah. I mean you know portland's done portland's been done for For a long time. But hey at least they legalized. How yeah. i don't think that's healthy. But yeah but hey. -brate celebrated on a on four twenty everybody. If you're listening in portland and you're not getting shot at by crazy yeah marxist fucking bach lava light one up light. Went up you know what actually skip the we'd I would just be going straight to heroin. Appoint point it's legal. You might as well anyway. Speaking of scary yet. Very preventable crime Let's go to ohio. Where a fifty seven year old woman was arrested over in april fool's day joke that it go a little too far the hell do nothing too crazy. She faked a mass shooting at work hilarious. Mata praying that's a knee. Slapper right there. Oh man. I mean how do you dial that one down like are you scared. You shouldn't be. Iran scare tactics orders. Tracy morgan when you're the guy like what is she. A fricken fifty seven year old youtuber. I'm jay station three in the morning and would have pretended. There's a mass shooting. I could see the clip bay title. Now let's see how long allen last a still. Apparently this woman thought it was a funny idea to send her sister claiming that a guy who'd been fired the day before had come back with a gun and that she arrested. The staff were hiding in fear for their lives in lock offices. I know my sister would find that real hilarious. If i texted her something like that. Could you imagine if you were still you do shit now. You probably would have done the shit ten years ago. Could you imagine if you're doing shit at thirty years from now and you're just like fucking with your sister. Here's a mass shooter at work today l. o. L. just kidding. Can you have if you hadn't said this was in her fifties. I would've thought it was one of the goddamn parkland right. We don't know how much they love getting attention for mass shooting. Whether they're real or not. Okay okay come on. Let's let let let us back on youtube. We we'll be good from here on. How say anything bad. I didn't i didn't say i just insinuated it right between alive. You know that were behaving whatever happened to that. Ugly lesbian with the buzz-cut for parkland we the pillow. Company didn't work out the why not a prank show. Steven hogg made the pillow company. Right right the and all right. Well if you think that's a prank get out of the. This is a really weird story. Out of china Mark covid would. It'd be a great segue of it was Yeah ll folks. Coronavirus dropping dead and china. That's me chinese. Meet great joke me put viral contagion in your coke anyway. No not a covert story. This is not about fake virus. It's about fake boobs. So here's the headline is a classic man. In china claiming to be tallest master offering breast implants with mind control and witchcraft. Has authorities worried. That does sound worrisome. Mind breast implants. I mean what is witchcraft. And hit the secret to taking out the ep. All this time. I thought it was the space for you. Turns out maybe we should have made like the warlock forces day signed me. Fucking out workforce. Okay i'm ready. You're not ready for that. Ping fugger taiwan before it's all around. We probably should. Honestly i mean at the very least you know. He can distract all the soldiers by giving all the taiwanese women magical boob. Implants how i think our if we do anything about the chinese ari. It's they probably haven't been with a woman anytime soon. The demographics no matter chair. Let's just go back to the magically rest augmented wizard he's he magically augment doesn't have his own magic he has rest so that'd be great though. I mean this would address. That'd be if he was our army he's just a regular like chinese regular old china regular chinese with a male with area. He's just a regular chinese taoist wizard. But now there's a video of him waving his hands and like drawing circles of ear in front of like a a couple other women would be basically a like you. Don't see the after pictures property that's been saying he's doing all these gestures in front of the group like twenty thirty women any says he he. He insists that they're all going to be a little more top heavy sometime soon. Campanella believing he he also says he can make people smarter by blowing air into their heads. So wow you know gotta say i mean we've really been underestimating. The chinese very overestimated the chinese. If they believe this should have this technology folks. We are done for this. Single handily could probably give us all heart attacks by i dunno farting into our chest or something i think i think he's making shit up but they're just like oh really. Oh okay i have a. He can do that delivery pulls a quarter out of there too and that would just blow their minds they fuck a quota come from. How can you do that again. Own team from kids in the hall. Remember and thank the chinese army. We just flip this guy get him on our side end up on a mountain and they'll be we'll just we'll just put it on video over the beijing. Look what man we just crush at entire battalion of with one movement one foulkes who they were all flat. Oh my god anyway. Here's another call coming in god. Well it's on the international line. Ah did i hope it's not from china. We might have pitched off the wizard. Just in case you take you take it. You think high collar you're on Tell us your name where you're calling from. My name is brian. And i'm calling from you bryan begs her brain with ryan yeah channel. I remember you brian location. I can't exactly where i i mean. I'm just be wrapping season. One of rain moves with right but we mazing first season of the most incredible magic magic. It's meant mind. Mockery boosting putting the greatest television program. The greatest reality reality mind bending. I mean you. You feel like it's the best program you know right ugly all right you have to lose we we just we just finished season one. And i'm very cited to call in and tell you that the season finale is going to add sunday at eight o'clock eastern. So i i'm showing. Everyone will be watching with grayson joint and when you see any muslim and we ended the season with you. You understand why. I can't tell you exactly where i am because i have been bad from yet another. Thank god i mean gee crying. Caller show the frigging blood. Your season finale. Yes you know. we're not of yours. Have to pay sir you were talking about. I mean i. I'm allowed to call when you talk and discuss about magic. And you were talking about the the chinaman. He focuses on on brash. Said he makes getting larger and he he blows into the into the brain and he makes a brain explode. What's china metrical tournament. You just story hover. You have something to add. She's thinking that. You can actually do anything. I i mean i do that. I'm going but you know. I i can i can. I can actually i tried. I tried focusing on a dress standard. A little breath didn't. But but i i try to make grow. I can convince you can change your actual mind. And i can make a restaurant so it you know being a mental extraordinaire. I think. I m pederson that chinaman. And i don't talk about him. You can him free publicity. Why don't you give me reported crimes against humanity crimes of the mind. Crimes of the mind are not crimes the of humanity because everything. I do this people lately given up their own. Well they just don't realize you're sick well into their heads exactly exactly. And that's why. I am brian then. And you're not when you see waiting to see what i've done season finale here. He's was i i. I'll just tell you. Right now. I i i cannot go back to the united states of america. Thank god i think that what i did what i did was in the united states of america. And you probably have seen it on to tell you. I'm never gonna watch your show so why don't you just tell us what you did the way that rain losing works. I can convince you like using my mental listen polish. What is not and what is not that. You're not this. Vile human. Fore i i chose to bring you you. You wouldn't even know the life. I ruined so i If i told you that i who did the officer of the law into thinking. That was a taser. The season finale. I had to do it and make that the perfect timing is the right and all excited and everyone knows right. That's a great history you deserve. I can't go there then from cuba's what are these days. And i'll tell you. What i did rattle castro. Hard deal though raiders sunday. Eight o'clock hauling us resi in like eight different countries by now a review. Has he's been he's been banned from. I'm starting to think he's the most periodic spy the us. He's worked for or something the he's got a whole new way of taking down countries out. Apparently i've bryan ryan bedford the great the only goddamn explanation. Otherwise this guy would be in jail. Will you really by that story. I think he's just an asshole that that would be much easier relation. Who knows anyway. I'm speaking of assholes. am i. i should speak that way about her. Being asphalt commercial. pretty much. Only till you hear this thing right. It's fucking guy. A my name. Is the automobile reverend. Jeremiah jess and full many years now and in hand with the low jesus christ for my harbor home here class stay on mississippi to lead my flag all across guys green and enter the kingdom of heaven and when i sat time in at the foot of the meeting i talk talking no pat robertson i talk to frank. Graham assures the devil is read and talking. No joel haas team because my greasy black has done that haag time praising jesus as team is for you in the community so when i tell you that i seen a vision of vision from the law god himself and then he told me. I need to start a new congregation. You best bet you last bottom dalla. This four is for damn good reason ben. And that's why. I'm telling all you people out there to go visit a virus church dot gov and john church all whole virus. You heard that right. I know you've been scared. His co. covy. I ain't senior since east. I see some. you'll ask since christmas last year. Well hallelujah sucker because the church on the virus is here to save you from nicole. We got we got services in in a city clinics all over the country every single morning. Not just on sunday. And we always fully triple mass. We always got those all. We always really even anna swab your protection and best of all. It is one hundred percent free of charge. You don't even have to have. Because the lord has provided my s with a very lucrative grant from the government and from our friend. How reverend dr. Anthony anthony fauci. All you gotta do is let the young sisters at the church minister. The blessed sacrament flesh. We call it a hold vaccine shot. And that's your passport to heaven the member y'all you can trust me it's reverend jeremiah. This ain't got nothing to do with tuskegee. I'm a black southern preacher. You can trust me. I'll represent jesus. I don't represent the government. Knew what would jesus sterilize. Your is of course not so get on your obama phone put in virus church dot gov find your local church all the virus today and let us stick that needle in your let let us save you former co van and you never know maybe even mike could break you off some of that government money you never know. Maybe we'll probably won't but while holy shit you were not wrong clearly. Somebody paid in a little bit. I mean do you think he named jesus came down from the mountain. And i told them. One handed him a constrained by vaccine yet. Here my son go forth go forth and give everybody blood clots anyway. aren't a member of the holy church covert or that was Your benevolent dictators in the moron administration have a solution for you really as white house court. Jester gen a stupid said last monday. Their latest focus is on tricking conservatives into accepting the experimental gene therapy treatments masquerading as vaccine's well it in a way it's terrifying and also refreshing to see them being so transparent with us about their plans. Did she actually say that. I mean she didn't say the whole experimental gene therapy thing date essentially say she wanted to trick that. Can i mean i. I added a little flair but but anyway amazing the story is that nearly half republicans that are being polled are saying that they aren't going to take the shots Now in response to that. The department of health and human services has spent ten billion dollars to drive pro vaccine messaging to amex gonna use genocide words year white conservative communities through nascar country music television and the deadliest catch sounds little. I mean i don't mean to sound like a liberal here. Sounds a little racer stereotype like you think. I mean these are the same people that they ain't thinking of black people day in early. Let's make a cartoon rap song at a theory of types of kind of their thing hearts work they're gonna drop ten billion dollars of tax money. I'm surprised she didn't say they're going to give away cases of bush. Light pouches. red man. If you take your mark you know that would be tempting. I can't remember the last time. I bought something off a commercial. Can you know. I get them right. You know here's an idea that will blow their minds as anybody. Writes your congressman. Hell right jen sack year. Whenever the puck name is that the only way you'll get the vaccine is in exchange for a free a are fifteen from the government. But here's the catch i want the. Ar r i. I know we've said you're but how funny is it will. You're the stupid ones. Yeah you know the sad thing. Is i really hope that works. I can see there so goddamn desperate to get these needles in everybody's ours. I could see them seriously. Considering it or know these stupid stupid southern white rednecks damn goddamn conservatives. Only way we can get them to take this poison. Vaccines is if we give them automatic weapons but it's okay because we'll just trick them with the buyback where we pay them. You know fifty percent of the market now. We know they're stupid so there definitely the for the nfl. We know they all live in. like cracker. shakeout. Let's do it. Let's just give everybody out in the country. Let's just the ship of somme are fifteen it exchange for their viper certificates ago. Power with the sad thing is all these american institutions. Just going along with this left is nonsense. I mean i mean nascar's involved in the shows the other thing the fall football baseball i mean. They've ruined everything. They ruined sports. they ruined wrestling. I can't fuck and watch wrestling anymore. They ruined movies. They ruined tv. They ruined the internet cab. They haven't caught him yet. So if you see what they did to fucking parlor arise trail even ruined fast. Food brands like pop. Companies like e e e. Can't drink coke without feeling like somebody's an in your face but you can buy a mypillow though boy. There's clearly there's no culture there's no entertainment that's left that's free of like hardcore liberal indoctrination or if it's like one of the niche products that's not like if you oh boy i'm gonna go get some some goya's spices stand up to the leftist. You're still thinking about fucking politics right. Yeah yeah what is wrong with these assholes yet. i think. I think we need to take it back. Yeah i think conservatives need to take over something that would make the liberals feel the way we felt when they went in and started taking over things like nascar football. What do you suggest hair. Dye manic panic. I think we should take over. I don't want bills. that's a little. I think we should take over. Show tunes who mike lindell mike lynn. Yes yes great idea. If you've heard of my pillow in my store will get ready. America's now it's time for my broadway. I can't wait to see how cats and south pacific into allegory about dominion voting. Were that we're not gonna do. Miss saigon were not gonna do miss america. i can't wait to see his judeo christian version of how the fuck you do that they take les miz. I mean that'd be easiest. Make it all about january six from for our first show bogging there the they do the producers. Maybe a lot of people would go for that. You'll just here. It's all about a secret plot by sneaky bankers. I call them. The jews that mike minnelli's anti semitic it gives them a couple weeks a couple of weeks. They'll take back to the circle back girl. Let's to see how she thinks she smarter than us. Here's a fun headline for you. Folks a video gamer manage to trick white house. Press into asking jam sacchi questions for wait before someone figured it out and ironically. They got the exact same answer every single time. Yeah one of these days. She's gonna circle back to cogent point so to have this work exactly so there's a role. Playing group on. Roadblocks does mock government exercises and one of the members of the group came to the conclusion that there was not enough hard hitting journalism from the white house. Press doesn't take a video game nerd to figure that out now. It does not go on all right so he created a twitter account for fake news. Organization called white house news and proceeded to trick multiple white house reporters into posing questions to the press secretary at official briefings and eventually they figured out the ruse. Jim acosta asked her to could subscribe his twitch screen. They're the smart ones. Everybody just remember that. Cool by a roadblocks gamer row blunt. With the fuck is rogue Upi no like some goofy like it's so it's like a fun game like even lego buckingham a concept like i know what minecraft I have a general idea of what fortnight is. I have no fucking clue group blocks. It's like broadcasts mind crafts. I tried to get into mine. It was awful laying and six year olds powerful. These are the people that are fooling the smart. Can the press secretary in the white house. press corps Any but like. Let's go back for a minute. Gimme fair to say remember. One video games are fine. Who the fuck like. When when i was a kid. I play video games. I wasn't like oh boy everybody would be really fun. Let's see if we could get. Jen psaki to answer a question. That would not have even crossed my mind now. I'm trying to see if i can get nuke them to see the naked bubis or something. Like i'm trying to see if i can get sub zero to like shatter somebody. No budget million different visas. I wanted to see the violence. I want to have a good time. I'm not like oh boy. Let's see if they political questions because you know. Msnbc not doing a good enough job wrong with this generation every yeast. They did something to better the fucking press conferences they tried. They saw something wrong and they tried. I gotta give them credit for that game. Five years kim il he'll be the un lecturing true. He's taking that lesson at the end of the day folks taking alphabrain for that's clearly the missing ingredient. The left doesn't have think they pay us for that. So anyway from the fake press to the fake news in one of the biggest stories of the week. Cnn got caught red handed. One of their top news director was captured on tape. It admitting that their entire network is just a propaganda outlet for the democrat party. Yeah well i mean why is this is. This is what anybody who's watched the two minutes alone already know. Yeah but now it's on the record then and what makes it even more fantastic. Is the manner in which this came to the service detail. project veritas. They're not just mocking us. If they're not openly mocking estimates point who project veritas see. They happen just come out. On and marcus. They're just come out on the screen and said just so you all know. This is a propaganda network and we hate america and were tricking. You ha- anyways. Another black person was killed by a racist. You only see that if you put on the sunglasses on the project veritas. Of course they're pretty much. The only journalists left in the country so one of like investigative reporters. She made a fake profile. And she fooled this for lack of a better word moron at cnn into taking her out on a bunch date. She hat pitched him one tender a tender catfish from a new york seven. She just let him drink. A couple of bud. Lights are probably white caused. She didn't drug. It would have been that would have been a whole different story. Read interesting now. Hey no he gets drank a couple beers and he gets spilled his rotten guts on hidden camera about everything how. They propped up biden. How they hit all of his cognitive issues. They tried to make him look cool. How he gets this move on women slave by buying prostitute. how they lied about trump. How they hyped up. The matt gaetz nonsense. The virus way out of proportion how they suppressed the blm riots in how they basically how they instigated the deal. Riots right i mean he just went on and on and on he confessed everything and he had no idea he thought he was like picking up some some dumb broad from nyu or something. Yes she was. Just frothy for him to stick his propaganda babies inside eh Zima he literally said quote. We're creating the story. I think that's propaganda. He said the word he said the word. They admitted their propaganda marino. Thank god i mean. Finally the nightmares over there done. I mean they're done now right curson. Now project veritas got banned from twitter. And now they're they're trying to get tucker carlson van from cable. Yeah it's i mean you get in trouble for exposing it. You don't get dribbles doing it lettuce. Cnn have to say about this round. Breaking story are well. The latest from cnn actually to cnn. The other day to see like if they were in china evaded or explain themselves Well they were up the thing at the bottom of the screen said fox's biggest stars have not shared vaccine selby's a couple talking heads. We're talking about that alec. After a cnn recorder guide from the vaccine by the way yes. They didn't cover that no. I don't think so you know at some point you guys really got. Starting wonder i mean when did the third reich takeover it'd people realize it right away or do they just wake up one day and say holy shit. We're living in a totalitarian nightmare. Because you can't see it. We're going down that road right. I kinda feel it. I feel like we're in like nineteen thirty seven right now. I i saw another example of their derangement in action. Now it was even better than that near the foxhole so like honestly this was beyond gas lighting so this was a week ago during the riots during the rights would be the apple last week when all the peaceful protesters were out looting. Every store down burning the city down jumping up and down of cop cars. You know put officers in the hospital. Throw britain to their heads. You know you call that a riot right. I wouldn't call it a garden party. Now regarded burning. Who will there is a press conference with the police chief in. He called it a riot and cnn reporter immediately corrects him. He's like now. There's no right there right likely. Some baghdad bob. Shit like fucking. Obi wan kenobi the riots. You're looking for writer. Maybe that chinese guy with the mind control breast implants while will like no. That's not right over there movies. Jen psaki bubis. Now people actually want shit get the truth and great meanwhile back in the real world. Some unlikely people are fighting back against the fake news. Not just talking about project veritas. So this happened last wednesday at the minnesota riots of twenty twenty one e l rioters chased off. Cnn edge their vehicle in nailed one their crew members in the head with a water bottle awesome. I see people on your side. Run even after getting literally assaulted by these maniacs. Any it's went to twitter to apologize forgetting their way and to still voice their support of justice. Just not for themselves right. I love it obsolete. Serie that you beat us up. Thank you for. Correcting our privilege is just like how last year out the the bill like people forgot about this already but last year. Blm storm the cnn edwards in atlanta. And like they. I remember they said it on fire up they like like hundreds maybe thousands of just talking storm the lira gates in the showed up in the cnn headquarters kind of like what they tried to say that the capital yet more or less. I just not that we weren't there. Thank god is probably already on the way cutest. We'll see maybe we'll be back next week. Maybe we'll be imprisoned tortured all but yeah no when that happened. I bet cnn the security guard is like oh shit blm. Oh my god really your number one fan like come on and take anything you want. Hold on like an hr mandated extracurricular activity at the office. That day like for you know for anybody who wants to join in at three pm will be storming the office so feel free to join in and right lou. I'm surprised they didn't send don lemon down the service every single one guy. He'd love it. Probably i will. I know he's not only in the black guys now. Like done it for the 'cause there's actually been stories this all over the place lately. There was a funny one in new york. To where andrew yang all people rode his bike across the brooklyn bridge to join him. Some anti police protests out there. They chased off. Wanted to stop asian. hey. I don't think they do. I don't think they do. They usually be committing it. They say he had to pedal all the quick. Fix looking like a fucking god damned they must. He's he's probably gonna be the next easy eight crime victims. We found this awkward. Chinese guy beaten to death at blm riot of they shoved the calculator up his something about a thousand dollar check. What's next in the stack all right so continuing our circling around the carcass of journalistic integrity. Here's another one straight from the living. Newspeak dictionary known as twitter. I'm so leftist or no longer calling looting theft well looting or theft out smashing into a business destroying property in stealing whatever merchandise you want. It's now being referred to as acts of material liberation. That's not a real thing. Wait is now. are they thinking like yes. Said the geese free the chains of retail price tags from that screen. Tv young man. Yeah and people said we were crazy when we call them. Communists i mean. It's it's a rescue operation that liquor store. They're holding all the crown royal hostile. You go down the fucking cuba at all you can find is like cars manufactured up until like nine hundred fifty seven right. I wonder if also isn't on with this nonsense is you're gonna see the same thing with like basketball shoes. The last pair of air jordan was produced in twenty twenty one and then they started burning down all the footlockers in maki stores but man we just we got. We got those little sexes last. You ever made she Shoes that that's that's where that's why we're gonna end civilization. Well why civilization enough material liberation one group of minnesota rioters targeted one of the targets. You'd never expect last week but a library. Well that's pretty funny but this is even better They looted the brooklyn center dollar tree. Dollar tree yeah. They liberated the fuck out of that dollar tree. The store where nothing in the entire building cost more than one dollar. I mean i knew these people were stupid. This is amazing. I mean what's the plan here. Like the see. See we gotta have the candy bars. See the candy bars. They actually work like a buck. Twenty five so you know we slip. That will make a hundred bucks dog. You know the only thing i can think of is works there one of the next day all sense shortsighted at all man. All rioting sure sure is making me sore. Why don't i burn my fucking job to the ground. So i can call out on monday. Finish it they're not gonna be re- rebuilding the frigging dollar tree anytime soon. You got sell a lot of bric a brac. Two paper ransacked store. I mean i hope. The managers are real stubborn. And he's just like no no. We're not closed. You come into work and you're going to clean up all this mess. Hands them a push broom and a bucket of industrial cleaner. Instead get to work riley the entire city of minneapolis. Smoldering ruins near the apple. Stores gone maki stores gone. every target. Dow's gone but he's like rebuild this fucking dollar tree anyway just sat time. We're getting one more phone call. I think we are. We have time. I think we have time you take it though me. Yeah all right Hello eerie coda. Nine one seven Meuron was wm. What's up how you doing. Good cynthia how you doing. I'm doing all right. You know. I gotta i don't know i mean you know a little bit with the With the water. Yeah i mean you know. I you know i work larry with a and in conflict for finding going. What's new york. you smell. Funny your guys you get nia like messing up your your roots or something. Oh god we'll be on everything you know and you never do so you know. There's really no point delivering these three kids. I mean people. Are you know wondering how crazy but you know even on the watch chain ever gonna get it right. 'cause he's can come up and tell though here's my little league i mean on the one hand that gotta do with the rise you know over the mail on the other hand. I don't get out packages. So you know all i can say we on i am i. I haven't i mean i. You're a little closer situation than i am. I didn't know so people are. They'd been stealing packages off of people's doorsteps gi. Yeah yeah they're rolling the right tire lubers. I know you know you know we. Now you know at the end of the day and on you then money anyway. I i my walk me. I could not sell your fate. Martin blake robert something you know. Maybe that rolling out. Whatever you know tell. This is supposed to work. If the hit cells to me that. You're i mean it feels like you're you're stealing you're stealing from your customers. Basically i hear your robbed of their packages your mind. I'm not giving a but they might get me. You're taking your house year right. I mean you know. I gotta get comfortable working in the video. Yeah you get a paycheck. Don't you well. Yeah but you know. I mean do people come on. This is incredible. Albany is i no matter what people i mean. What never fire before. Never price your grandma in everybody got all those things united ignited. So so. you're you're fighting back against saluted by a looter died here what also worker i i. I don't know how long if this rate all of the engine anyway and nineteen and a half year. Nice out well all right. Well i guess if you're listening out there and you live in in queens. Maybe don't order. Anything from amazon considers just could sell it on ebay. What would you rather than the for included. Get on a respectable matter that you knew. I'm a postal out that gets ruined tree but some charity. Whatever whatever helps you sleep. The nights the nfl happy well. I mean if you're in if you're in queens maybe maybe you're not getting your packages. I how did they find her new yorkers like that anymore they should. I mean look. I think she'd make a better mayor than fucking andrian. Has i mean. I don't know good mayor but she'd make a better mayor than andrea just as nuts as any of the other that are running But yeah i i. I don't really have much to add. Whatever the hell that was Or anything else. It's been a fun show. It's been a long. It's been a show that i'm sure is gonna get in trouble whatever. Yeah wow here while more time. We were not in the capital on january six. sal you don't kick our during. They will anyway look movies along better.

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