We Get Momsplained on Pool Safety and Jessica Alba Reads Your Confessions
Let's get give summer to the creeps though just let the baby's run free never get another opportunity unless there are nudist and they go to nude beaches scary scary. Mommy speaks hey. Everyone welcome is scary. Mommy speaks the show for women who are owning owning motherhood and all it's glory pain and play dates. I'm Ashley. I'm Kerry if you're new to scary. Mommy were the number one source of Info and entertainment for MOMS across the country. We tell it like it is no sugar coating and no impossibly perfect standards. This is the real deal. How was your week my friend? Oh my goodness I feel like like so much has happened so my kid has become a fully entire human being like in the last two weeks she's talking and she has like three different kinds of waves leaves. She's like using the sign language that we taught her like not. All the time teaching your child Simelane yes yes well my step mom's a deaf interpreter so okay but also like Yeah Buji teaching my kids brokers yes but anyway so as she gets bigger and does more things it occurs to me. How much time has elapsed apps since I had her just as time passes them? I get more like proud of all the things she's doing. The opposite happens to how I feel about myself. <hes> bring doing this to my point. We're how my week was Sebastian. Turn to on Sunday and I finally feel like things are settled and like life is never going to be the way it was before. I had a kid but life is finally something I I get it this. This is it I'm present. This is my life and I'm okay with it so my point in saying this isn't like my life is so much better light at the end of the tunnel yeah. I hope I start to feel settled like a will to you. Will it's going to take a little while but you will. You will feel back to normal and that's going to be a rag day. Yeah I remember at four months. I started to feel like I wasn't drowning and then that sort of I was so thankful that at that so I guess there's just these like stepping stones where you just get higher and higher above the water was like oh now. Let's Y'all better all right so we're going to start off strong this week. This is like our girl power episode and I love it. We we have a story called why I gave my daughter permission to kick your son in the balls. <hes> I love the story sounds like my in my entire childhood. I did a lot of ball kicking being a little girl soccer balls but not all testicle got it. We're also going to talk about how long are babies. Our babies are toddlers. Toddlers lers et Cetera toddler phase and I feel like I'm never getting out of here. Well isn't that what you also said about the baby yes yes also. We have an amazing gassed. You probably know where he you might know her. She is the host of scary. Mommy's popular web series MOMS leaned. She's giving us all the Info on water safety. I mean at some of baby and pink tells off the Naysayer. Oh she's always telling the less she nays the naysayers and that's why she gets crushing it. Cram stick around to also your Special Special Celebrity Gas Jessica Alba read our confession Oh. I can't wait to hear that but before you hear that you need to hear this carry all right. I I love lady sweet lady sweet. Is that a special all women's hotel or like a girl group. Oh no my friend it is a rejuvenating botanical oil for intimate commits skin intimate skin like between your armpits. Oh No no no I am talking vulva hero that kind of intimate. It's amazing you put a little on your fingers. You spread it around and it helps things like dryness razor. Burn ingrown chafing itchiness redness you name it. That's a lot of things is there anything lady sweet doesn't do you know what I honestly don't think check out lady sweet on shopped at Scary Mommy Dot Com and while you're doing that don't forget to put in Promo. Code speaks fifteen for fifteen percent off. It's time for crashing it crowd that crashing it crowds cloud. We are ready to to do some crowning. Am Not in the baby coming out of your vagina kind of crowning. Go No no no we mean in crushing at Crown kind of way. I'm excited to hand out this week's crown every week we hand out a crown to a mom and sometimes a dad who is crushing at it's all about strong parenting moment and this week it goes to Pink Pink Pink is always crushing it when it comes to handling Internet trolls who parent shame her which happens all the time I know and this time I mean she's not disappointing us. No she never does really really but in fact she posted a hilarious caption which actually covers her daughter's face. Her daughter is running through water sprinklers and the caption says here's a picture of my child running through water. It wasn't even filtered. What a waste of Water God? It's funny because it's true you know someone's definitely going to be the jerk. Could we live in California and there's a water yeah like waters. Evaluate Drought Drought Yeah I just I just think pink is such a bad ass. I like I really admire the stance. She takes on all of this while while this particular post may not have been the way I would think I would go about it just because I feel like she's giving more importance to these people who dog on her they usually she reacts back instead of just like straight out like making it like a troll frame. There is something to be said about like not feeding into it but I also you know we're not in a situation and where you're constantly being judged publicly about your parenting and it's just because pre babies. She had all the success and still currently she. She has all this success so people just feel like they got to put their judgment on how she parents. I also think that people think that she's like an unconventional parent has you you know she looks the way she does which is bad ass and her husband's like a pro skiing maxine F._B._i.. Maxima said Skateboarder B._M._X.. Her and I think that they think she's an unconventional parent. Yeah Eh actually I've found most stuff to be pretty on target. There's nothing like weird about it. At all. Italy and it's true I mean you have to hate so hard on the trolls calls to stop posting but I mean people had said that about that but I feel like people have come to expect her to say something yeah. They look to her to set a standard. She's kind of like the anti mom mom right and so I feel like maybe she feels that she has to post to set like some troll rule yeah <hes> Oh my God I love that pack. I just had a flashback back of jumping through the sprinklers that used to go like back and forth like a like that some Jersey hid shed. I know I loved it like Oh. That's my favorite well. Pink is like the the best she can doodo around for managers really love. I agree with you. There are a lot of comments on this but we just WanNa say we love our being love you pink. Kate says she's awesome. I love love her parenting style. Let kids be kids. Run free through the sprinklers. Yes Catherine says love it. She's awesome. Take no shit from anyone attitude test lane says. I wish I had the energy to care what people thought. Oh maybe I would if I was famous or maybe that's why she's so incredibly talented because she likes feels things Hashtag. I'm dead inside aw Ta bring you in here and just give you a big Old House O.. M. Says she is the best anti-trump person alive I just. I love her theoretic for this one. Nourish Lia says wait. I thought after the diaper incident she threatened to not poster kids anymore can't stop seeking the attention came they. She likes the publicity. Even if it's negative oh heater raise someone the hater Ray said it once I'm GonNa say it again. MOMS are way way too hard on one another. We're all in this like very complicated time of our lives and instead of supporting each other other we just a Lotta Times just turn on each other and are so vici- we don't have all of our brains all of our sleeper all the nutrition uncle by saying. I think we're all just trying to get through this life. Thing and most of us are trying our best as parents you know no human being is perfect in any way and a lot of us are just trying to it continue to be who we were pre baby work towards those goals in accomplishments and stuff well. I'm sure we'll hear more from pink bashing her Internet trolls roles. I mean somebody's got to do it. Thank God for paying okay so there's this story that was on scary. Mommy that talks about about this little girl who is on the playground and these kids were bullying her. We boys these boys cracked and we will get more into that later and she she came home and she was obviously very upset and her mother told her to stick up for herself to kick those So we'll get more into the details of the story but I feel like it's really timely because with the weather being I live right across the street from a park so even though my kids really small I'm taking her to the park every day so yeah playground ground anteks. I'm watching it all the time and this article went viral of course the titles has it all why I gave permission to my daughter to kick your son in the balls. Kick them where it hurts. I mean my question is. Do you really need a reason why well I mean this girl had plenty. A boy at school is grabbing her but Ooh and when she told him to stop. He said she was fat. She is only six away well. I feel like in this instance. It's a kick punch in twist. It's true this. This is like very timely with the metoo generation yeah so I say Yes to the story. I mean something I worry about all the time. Having a daughter and I love how how when this little girl said she's going to just hide at recess like that. was her original plan her mom's says don't you let anyone take away your free time time when I read that I actually cried because I really need it and I was like no take away my free time I mean I think we all need to hear that now. I know this important. Thanks thinks that mom yeah for reminding me but you know not. Everyone agrees with this. Mom your mom of a boy. How would you feel if a girl you know kicked on the balls? Yes so for me. I I totally agree with us. Mom also I think <hes> in this particular instance the story is boiling it down to it being about boys versus girls but really this is respecting bodies. This is just respecting each other in general <hes> and respecting each other's personal space ace <hes>. I was bullied as a little kid <hes> from a young age until I was I don't know probably an eighth grade things kind of switched for me and then I became the bully okay I think I got so tired of being picked on <hes> but my mom always told me you know if it comes to blows and it needs to go there. You need to stand up for yourself and I have your back. Yeah and I think the thing we need to remember. Is that the things that we're teaching our kids now. Although there in these small little microcosm causalities is basically teaching them for the rest of their life that book everything I need to know about life I learned in kindergarten right exactly and it you need your kids need to know that they need to stand up for themselves. They need to be respectful for one another and if they can stand up for other people and for what's right they should absolutely be doing that when Luna when when Lear I come come in like really close to give Luna Cass and she's not having it. She pushes US away like Lee. Don't get mad at her for that. I actually am okay with that. I think it's I think it's she's respecting her needs in her space. I totally get that. I agree with you but I force that little that little butterball of mine to give kids sometimes he doesn't feel like it and I just grabbing uh-huh like you're GonNa kiss me. I'm GonNa love you forever and this is GonNa Happen. These come Pearl Brady says keep your hands to yourself self or you might get a need of the balls is one hundred percent a lesson. I'll be teaching my son good for you. Well Fallon says yes as a mom as a boy mom. Please please do have your daughter Neom in their junk if they touch them without permission they damn well better know they are raised respect people's boundary us so far the MOMS are raising boys or like yeah yeah I it. They're they're really they're really great. <HES> Damaris says none of my boys are getting kicked in the balls by any girl they will know to keep their hands to their sides or a whip third ashes my Damn Self Hashtag. I'm raising general all right now. It's which well I agree. She's raising issues like I'll do it myself so don't worry vic. She's saying like I'M TEACHING THEM TO BE Gentlemen Norman. It won't ever come to right right right. <hes> Johnny says I'm so torn with this headline. It's not okay for either gender to touch without consent. I`Ma boy mom so I'd be horrified horrified if my babies were attacked I mean I feel you. I get it Oh there's more oh however I'm raising two gentlemen. Thank you and to be kind and understanding understand in practice consent. I also believe that women have power and should not put up with harassment any kind but a physical attack on boys. I'm not sure folks kind of a hard scenario scenario and then she does like a sad sad angry face at the same time tough situation all around. I wish everyone would just understand that no means now. She doesn't want her kids kicked. I mean I get it yeah what she she say. I don't agree with her but I get it so hard to imagine like if your kid's little getting kicked but I can imagine like if I was a boy Mon Mike he was a teenager be like yeah he might be a deck sometimes also if I found out Sebastian was going around grabbing little girls in there like personal area and then being like well you're fat anyway. Shut that shit down real. That's true that extra fat I mean it's just a way of him not being able to deal with his emotions and taking it out on something else but that's how he's reacting to it so molly. Molly says do no harm but take no shit. Did you see what no harm says. Take no shit on the battle does yeah timely and that says identify eh boy for pulling my hair. I did get a tissue to wipe up the bloody nose. That's nice. You're kind of tough and she's a lady yeah. You know my number. One takeaway is the importance of teaching our kids that you you just don't get to touch anybody. I also think the the lesson of for every action there busy reaction that is that is a very important thing for our kids to learn so hopefully they don't resort anything physical. Yes agreed Carey. I I need to know. Did you do something different to your hair. Even your face just looks different. Oh me actually yes. I can't believe you even notice sooner guy. How did you go on like <hes>? What are your weird meditation retreats? You look very refreshed not this time although I have before I do love a weird meditation retreats. I we started using seen hair care products. Have you heard of them. Yeah amazing. They have shampoo conditioner. Blow out cream and it's not just good on your hair. It's really good for your face. You know how like when you have a haircut products and they are kind of oily and they clog your pores and you get those weird forehead pimple bang. I got knickknacks. Oh yes actually I hate that. This one is dermatologist designed so it doesn't do that but it does give your hair body bounce control and all that shy God I need that yeah you do and and you can get it and you can even get the whole bundle together. Oh three the shampoo the conditioner and the blowout cream and it costs seventy dollars and guess what what I mean hearing that already it makes me want to get a blow out well. You can get all of them and all you have to do is to go on shop DOT SCARY MOMMY DOT COM and they have seen hair care products on the site US speaks fifteen fifteen fifteen percent off. That's speaks fifteen yet that discount girl by mobs playing blame all right so we have with us today the host of Scary Mommy's very popular series mom explained a series that shares unfiltered tips on how to tackle everything motherhood sends your way while <unk> welcome by high. What what do we call you? MS MOMS planed MOMS Planer Right. It's like Superhero Terminator. Yes it's the MOMS plane fixer more necessary than than the terminator. It's true and my opinion so I I love new say girl by you've been mom SPLAINE. Can you do that for me right now. Oh Girl of course grow by Uber. MOMS blame my way. My phone rang I. I love that okay so last episode we had O._G.. Mom On and she was talking about her kids getting hurt two boys. There's a lot of those stories. We talked a little a bit about a story of her kid almost drowning. Yes scary if you haven't heard it yet. Check it out. It's episode for so we have you here for some water safety tips. I mean we all need them. It is the season I think the most like basic question and all of this is what age should you start to worry about water safety not with kids so we think one important statistic just to keep in mind is that drowning is the number one cause of death for kids under age four. Oh really it is the number one cause of accidental death that is one hundred percent preventable. Wow we hear about his mom's we hear about screen time and how many hours sedation or could be watching TV and is there B._p._a.. In that bottle by the organic milk you need the Omega threes. When have you ever heard from your pediatrician the attrition the word drowning so yeah there have been some recent high profile cases where women right swimmer and and some moms who one mom who had a tragic logic accident with her son her husband was a doctor there was actually they were at at home and there was a drowning multiple doctors in the family and save this child and this woman has now now gone on a real activism campaign to really make moms aware that this is the number one cause of death and we need to be educated at informed and Well you know it's a scary topic. I think they're really tangible simple things that we can all do as MOMS to be educated and aware and to really raise safe swimmers and have a fun Summer Mirror Oblast anytime you're around water. It doesn't have to be all nervous in scary. We just need to be smart about it. Yeah well also like that. You know there's there's different ways to kind of talk about the subject one of which is the fearmongering very very scary way or there's you know your way which is very proactive and like this is how we can easily. We solve this issue totally yeah. I mean it just a little bit of background on me. <hes> through college and high school. I was a swimming instructor with the Red Cross and a life life. That's why we have those good arms swimming arm not as good as it used to be. <hes> yes so. I you know I did this was back in the days. Don't WanNa beat myself but when Baywatch was in his heyday that's when I was a lifeguard. lifeguarding was like a real like really cool profession back then <hes> but <hes> you know the the basic principles are the same when you asked about what age <hes> should you be starting to think about it. I mean six months old swimming lessons there her programs that are called you know water babies or Mommy or parent and child where you go in the water with the baby. Yeah those are great. <hes> you know and there are some parents who've had <hes> water related phobias or scary incidents who them they themselves are not comfortable in water and that passes on to that lead so if you yourself feel like you know you'd like to be maybe a stronger swimmer. It's also good idea to consider you know swimming lessons for yourself yeah <hes> could you jump in and save your kid if your kid needed to be pulled out of the pool you know these are all things is to think about. My pediatrician told me about this program. That's like in my neighborhood where they I guess it's obviously once they're one or whatever where they purposely pushed the kid into the pool fully clothed and teach them how to roll over on their back and float even when they're fully clothed so it's like the survivor of you've swim lessons. I was like I'm down for that really yes. Fashion is he's been in swim lessons for almost three months now and they have <hes> this thing that they call survival week week once or twice a year and they encourage you to bring like shark week but maybe that's too on the nose don't die week but they have your kids come coming in full clothes and shoes and they don't teach them the regular stuff they just teach them like if you were to fall in the pool how're you. GonNa get through this with the weight of your clothes and all this other stuff which I think is usually what happens. Is these kids fall in the pool. Yeah most kids drown during non swimming time so it's the time when they see <hes> really cool you know pizza shaped floaty floating in the pool and they climb over the fence or you know nobody's nobody's watching everyone that the barbecue eating dinner and you know the little one decides to go for a swim without an adult so close on definitely. I mean there are very simple. Things is an you know. Swimming lessons are expensive. Not everyone yeah for them but there are simple tips that any parent can can teach their kid out the pool on the weekend or you're out of friends place as things like teaching them how to blow bubbles can even do that in the bath yeah getting their face wet so that's something you can practice. Every time you wash your baby's hair. <hes> I always I would wash my hair with the shower sprayer and I would always get it all over their face. They like mom and I'm it's like you're training them for that feeling of water splashing on your face freak out the minute you get them in the pool once you get them in there and babies are great because babies can't talk back so yeah like literally dumped on baby and they don't know what's hitting them but then if you oh you one two three under a backup big smiles and the babies will be done but the more you do it. They'll get used to the feeling of being submerged in water so in addition to blowing bubbles you and teacher child how to float on their back so even if they're teeny even if they're like a year old lion back let them look up at the sky and see if you can like. Oh for a couple of seconds just have their full body relax. Fox and they'll float to talk about the the floating thing not that I'm an expert by any means but <hes> in fashion swim class they have them do blast off which is essentially the floating thing and you know he was under two when he started and they they have you lay on your back. The parent is holding them. Kinda they start with their head on your shoulder and you just put your cheek against against them and slowly throughout time it's move towards like he's he's essentially floating exactly he's in the bathtub that you can transition to the same same thing on their front where they're like a starfish and they blowing bubbles with the face in and what you really want to aim for is the ability to flip from your front to your back as a float. That's like the most the basic thing and anybody can teach too. They're just super lacks starfish on the front flip like a pancake onto your back and back and forth because then if they ever fall in they're able to to navigate between which way's up so that's a great thing to teach them. Can we talk about the safety briefing. I thought that was a really cool tip and idea for for parents yeah I mean I think it's great for <hes> for parents to have a conversation with their kid about kind of the ground rules for anytime you're at a pool and you know depending on your your lifestyle. You may be at Grandma's house. That has a pool or you may be on vacation and you might be at the Y._M._C._a.. And your own neighborhood and all of those different spaces may have different deep ends they may have different rules <hes> so you know ground rules about when you can go and water ground rules about depth are also important because does you know different. Pools have different depths having the strategies to keep your kids in yourself safe. It's just a great way to be empowered and to be able to enjoy the water and love water her too. It's like they just love love love it. So how do we feel about bear baby bottoms at the beach that was bare baby bottoms baby about I mean do we keep our babies. Abe's bonds covered or like sons out buns out. I don't care I don't see a problem with it. I think baby butts are the cutest thing in the entire world. I don't love is that you can't can't control any Weirdo perverts that are around there or just being creepers but Sebastian's naked. If you saw the color my child you would just want to. She's like powder like that movie POW. She must've Ashen deeper way yeah. She's like ginger. I'm not sure how that happened and her skin is translucent. Green is so maybe you don't want to like her but I have full rash guard but I would be okay with leaving it up with the sun scares me with her. I told you Sebastian this weekend at his birthday was running around planning is underway. Who's playing in the backyard so I I'm all for the BBC nudity. We'll scary. Mommy's called in about this and here's what you said I was a psychopath geico path about my daughter when put sunscreen on her until she was a certain age all that kind of stuff and then I wanted to with my son who's two months old <hes> we just took him out on the beach and he got wind burnt <laughter>. I put sunscreen on his ass. <hes> you know just crazy stuff well. I almost might my partner and I got like in the biggest like little fight right after we had the baby because he wanted to go to Puerto Henrico and I had read all of these articles about how you're not supposed to put sunscreen or bug spray on your kid before a certain age and I was like go to Puerto Rico. This mosquitoes soon learn how to protect our baby so eventually we we had like mid ground where we waited like one extra month and I did put the suns during the bugs. Brown are ahead of time when she was fine N._p._S.. Oh you were did your husband mentioned that drownings actually more than your sunscreen drama the EXCI- will and I just and too afraid of my my my kids poor delicate little baby but getting totally burnt and <hes> and for that reason alone I can't I can't do do it. I just call me paranoid but it's just too much of a risk. I don't take realistically someone's Waking Up to go to the beach and being like commando. All J little johnny like packing being exude for you. I feel like it's more of a you know we start out in our suit with our S._p._F.. Are Rash Guard our hat all of that stuff and then maybe maybe at four o'clock after the diaper comes off or the swim diapers just like gross saying you'll let them run around half an hour on the beach in his butt and it's fine specifically typically say about the sun. I mean we send up but I think it's I hope maybe they'll be an answer about this. I think it's more about like crossbows. The only reason why I would maybe cover up my kids would be crowded beach. <hes> where there were lots of people potentially people that might not have the greatest intentions <hes> there's a lot of people out there as we hear <hes> that are clips and maybe maybe I would cover up my child for that reason <hes> for their own protection Mary doll let's not let's not give summer to the creeps though they just let the baby's run free. Kalisz up worrying about the perversions never get another opportunity unless they're nudists and they go to nude beaches but like as normal human beings are not going to get another five. You didn't feel good and selfish shirt and you know my mind. Creeps hates on like vampires so they're just inside anyway. We can all be more proactive now in an absolutely so thank you so much mom s- Planer thank you. It was a pleasure to be here and you know what Ashleigh yes girl by. Hi Mom bye okay so I guess it's time to turn to something a little bit more sentimental mantle so we posted a meme about the time line of your children's lives this <hes> meam was made by nine three six pennies Aaron Lynam author and speaker. The first thing was that this mean made me do so much math I was like there's this many seven days this many weeks I mean it was sad math it all mathis Autho side to me in general but this is extra. I feel like that Barbie from the nineties. It said math is hard. Do you remember that Barbie. I had it anyway. This is very truly depressing math here. It is how it goes. You have a newborn for seven weeks. been there done that you have an infant for fifty one weeks sounds about right a toddler for one hundred and eight weeks a child for five hundred six weeks just say eternity and a teenager for two hundred and sixty four weeks roy teenager think they mean giant pain in the ass not looking forward to that stage I pretty much was a giant hand. The teenager will the the caption says and somehow will be the longest shortest weeks of your life. You know what I say. Screw this a model and bull yeah well I get the point is to like really encourage us to live each moment appreciate this time. It makes me sad and you know what I don't need this kind of negativity activity in my life so thank you. I'M GONNA I'm GonNA MOMS play and say girl by. I had this like weird reaction. We've talked about it on the show before where I'm like kind of a one and done same kind of lady yeah but I read that and I was like I've wasted one summer with my kid. I need to have another kid and not waste the fest summer and I'm like what does this mean doing to me. We let me tell you something. You want to have another baby. Even though almost I almost died having the first one at about two this is part of what I was saying at the top of the show with feeling settled at two years as you stop feeling that baby and I'm like Oh so cute. Here's your mommy go back now. But by you know had a baby okay the comments on this post ranged from sentimental demanded digest Dang on us <hes> okay so here's the first one Vicky says loved every moment of raising kids but really loved my adult children. They're amazing. This is how I feel feel. My adult child is two years. You can see it coming. Also my soon to be thirty six year. Old Adult Child Vicky Turner says they grow up far too quickly treasure every moment x-x she's not wrong no but I can't deal with the lake. Everything's roses all the time. Heather says the years go by fast but the days crawl by I was just saying that it's so true but treasure every moment is one of those statements of parenthood that drives me insane gas girl. I'm not treasuring every moment. Every moment isn't great up my kids are eight and ten now and neither slip through the night until there are four to five. Oh please don't tell me that I was wandering through a sleep deprived fog for at least four years treasure might treasure my children but not always is the moment. I feel like I'm team has her. I know me too. How do you want to be your friend? Karen says that would be right. The longest and toughest is having a teenager hard work. We Caitlyn says added up and you'll have an a-hole for nine hundred thirty six weeks that you love to death yet. Kaelin would also be our press. Nadia says I'm pretty sure I have had a teenager for a billion weeks based on my age progression Nadia. We need a night cream for you. Girl who's got so dark so quickly now. What is the saying the days go by <unk> but the years are short is like the the mommy equivalent of live laugh love both of which I don't want hanging in my how tattooed on your body to people get left loves to yes makes me want to enjoy the good moments before dealing with the terrible? Ones you know I mean maybe that's the message just blake. Try to remember the good ones enjoy much because there's GonNa be some shit. One's coming your way exactly that's the message you just get through it and you enjoy as much as you can and try to be present and speaking of enjoying thing confession time Sh- passions. It's that time again it's time for for confession. Oh God you know by the time we get to this point. Part of me is like really ready to feel free and the other part of me is so scared. I know I feel like half. My family is going to disown join me from a very Catholic of me. Oh my God okay so mine is pretty serious as we I feel like today was like my serious day <hes> so I've become kind of meeting okay like I'm mean to the people I love not to strangers and the the thing is it's my problem. It's not like people alert. Being crappy demands on being mean back. I'm just kind of biting. I and I think it's partially because I'm struggling with my own identity. The if like who I am now it's weird because like in one way I don't fully identify as a mother like I see other people like older MOMS. I'm like Oh wait a second. I'm a mom I'm like I forgot and other ways. I'm totally was even a mother before I was a mother <hes> but I think this internal struggle makes me like mad and sad and confused confused and I guess I mean and I'm only mean to the people unfortunately like my partner who is amazing. He so amazing <hes> because I know he'll love me still so I'm sorry to everyone. I've been meaning to primarily my partner early. I love you. I'm sorry and like random family members and friends that I've just been shit too that was so nice that was a beautiful confession aired. Oh God I'm usually like a nice snarky. Confection keeps me safe emotionally. Yeah you ready for it. Oh God before before I say this. No it didn't happen okay. Just all of you know that this did not happen but I did consider pudding Sebastian in a dog crate for time out that was a true listen a true thought of mine we have terrible thoughts all the time all the time totally okay to have a terrible parable terrible thought and not act on it. Yes we just you and I have verbal diarrhea so that we just totally now. It's you guys it's your turn scary. MOMMY DOT COM has paid completely anonymous confession. Go on it and do what we do. Just let it all out. I promise you you will feel better for it this week. We have the Lovely Jessica Alba Kayla getaway jess album and here are your scary mommy confessions. I served serve cupcakes from a box Max at a dinner party. All my friends are asking for the recipe and I'm avoiding them. Because I'm ashamed to say water was the only ingredient who are your friends and why are they so uptight. You should be proud that you had good ask cupcakes that everybody one of the recipe for and you should have been like and guess what is this box in fact. You should actually take it to them and say you're welcome. Sex Is just another chore. I don't think you're getting the right sex. I forgot the water purifying drops and actually killed my kids Beta fish. I stopped it out with a new one same color. I never fessed up as you should. You're a good parent. Let's call the good parenting. Today I met up with a former CO worker got along very well L. and now he has turned totally hot to part of me is hoping we will get together you single. Are you married question. My husband needs to stop working from home so much. I love him but there's such a thing as too much togetherness. I need my solitude sometimes you do. Nobody needs that much husband in their life. I'm Jessica Alba and I'm a scary mommy all right Mama's now that we've taken a load off of our shoulders we wanNA thank you so much for joining us. Today we had oblast as we always do and if you love the show rate and reviews on apple podcasts to help more moms find us and if you want more scary mommy be sure to subscribe to Scary Mommy speaks wherever wherever you get your podcast and visit us on facebook twitter instagram and snapchat video stories and shopping. You won't WanNa Miss Scary. Mommy speaks some spider production. This episode episode was produced by Dorothy Abrahams and Julia Caucus edited by Dorothy Abrahams and recorded and mixed by Western ponder special thanks to Sam Bellingham and Angelina powers at final Max Max. Don't forget we want to hear from you so e mail your comments to speaks at scary.