Goals Update. Ep 87

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hi, this is Laura Vander Cam. I'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker, and this is Sarah Hart under I'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds here. We talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to the best of both worlds. This is Laura this episode eighty seven we're gonna be talking today about our first-quarter or quintile as the case may be goals and how they've gone because we are already starting the second quarter or quintile for one of our podcast hosts here who prefers her quintile system. And so how are we doing? So tuck tell us through the quintiles against her case, the other people have not yet is there you're into five parts and were remind you all because I know I did review it at least in one of the planner episodes previously. But, you know, most people do January to March April to June July to September October, December my argument is this. If you have children, are you if you don't I'm not sure that it makes sense to divide summer up into two different quarters because summer tends to be very different time with its own unique motivations, and maybe you have travel. It just doesn't really feel. Right to split it up in the traditional quarters. Do split it up. I also feel like the more fresh starts the better. I mean within reason if you had like fifteen quarters, it would probably get a little bit out of hand. My answer to this was to instead of dividing the year into four divided into five. So the first is January two spring break. In our case. That's the end of March the second is spring break to the end of the school year. The third is summer which therefore gets doesn't get split up and chunked up into different quarters. The fourth one would be the start of school too. I would say November first because November December sort of like the special holiday winter. I think they deserve their own chunk because they are so separate from that beginning of school energy. They usually include winter break thanksgiving. So it's a lot of holiday stuff. And it tends to be the time that everyone does a lot of their regrouping thinking about how the year went. So I think that giving it its own quintile adds to that. So there you go that's my argument for quintiles. Yeah. As I think about it when I do, my my sort of seasonal fun less. It winds up its could be a quintile system, except I just don't do one of the quintiles. I I guess it just gets nudge Lund. In the late spring. So because I do the summer fun list. So I have my list of sort of seasonal summer fun activities. I had my fall list this year, you know, so taking advantage of the colors in such in the northeast on in the fall, the holiday fun list. So the Christmas related stuff. And then I had my winter might my post holiday winter stuff 'cause that's trying to get through the season of dark and cold and snow and such an incident that takes you through kinda mid March in mid March to June. It's just I didn't do a spring spring fund list. But it would suggest a quintile system for for me as well. So I think I think that does make any go. And I mean, you could do three month chunks that are more positioned around the season. But then you wouldn't get to start a new one on January first. Just seems wrong to me. Yeah. No. And I feel like the holidays is very separate from the the post holidays winter it's just feels entirely different in terms of what you're doing. But you've got quite a demarcation between your first and second quintiles in this year. This is airing. Apparently, you're you're coming back from your first cruise. Yes. So as record this. I will admit I we have we will not gone on crews yet. It also means that we have not reached the end of quintile one which is good because I can end every statement with but I might finish that next two weeks. But yeah, we are capping off quintile, one with our very first cruise during spring break, and we are going on a family Disney cruise. So maybe we'll have to have an episode dedicated to that perhaps if there is interest. I'm very curious about it. 'cause we we're thinking of doing a Disney cruise at some point or not. I mean by we thinking about it would be like strong lobbying from one of my children. Would would be more the case who maybe we could all go to there together Disney because no awesome. That you're like I need to do another immediately after this. Oh, not immediately. I was thinking like in twenty twenty twenty. It's something. No because we actually are going with friends on this cruise because I thought I think I mentioned that on our travel episode at think, I think that will make it even more fun because it it'll feel more like an extended play date, and I think our kids will be less reluctant to go into the kids club if era with friends, so no that's true. Yeah. We'll see how the sickness aspect of it goes to have excited to hear. I am a little nervous. Like, you're you're what is it me in order to get the little ya'll bring? I'm sure they sell DRAM. And I'm sure and I'm sure they sell off it today style like Minnie and Mickey's, vans, or whatever those are. So. Enemy stiff cocktail or two might might help too. Or at least I just don't care at that point. Right. That's so true. Exciting demarcation of your quarters coming up, or is it just me one? I this'll air right before our spring break is late because Passover and Easter are late this year in terms of when they cycle through. This is at the end of the so we will not have actually gotten there when when this airs interested, mid April, and at the moment, I have no plans for it. I am in planner fatigue mode again, and I would like somebody else to planet. So we shall report back on whether that has happened or whether we're all just here, and I'm working, which would also be fine. So. Because we have so many others thing when you talk about on a per episode travelled out. I mean, there's there's stuff coming up in the summer. And there is the kids will that was actually a Q on goal is the Disney. So I guess we could go ahead and plunge in. So how are is going wild? All right. Well, I can start if you want. Things have been falling apart about around here, which is related to one of my key. One goals. I am launch or launched at this point were doing this. After the fact Juliet school of possibilities might time management fable came out on March twelfth. So a lot of work associated with book launches and even though I've been through a number of them. It's always this sort of stressful experience, and I try to think differently by trying to savor it like, look, this is awesome. I wanted to be a writer, and I am like I can walk into bookstores and by my books, like I see my books in the airport when I'm running around like, I, you know, this is so amazing wonderful, and I should go back in time until ten year old Laura because she would be threat, right? Yes. On the other hand it is. I'm I'm also like running to the post office in late, you know, calling people at random times and trying to sort of rely on the network you've built up over the years of people who enjoy your work in would be willing to share it with other people in the it's so hard to get people interested in books. I'm announced truth is there's not that many people who buy books the average book reader. So this people who read books, which is a chunk of the population's not everybody is only gonna buy like four books a year. Now that is not going to be you or maybe it will be used there. But it isn't me, right. Like that's eight of their they buy. They bought the Michelle Obama book like they bought a John Grisham book. That's it. Right. And so you're then aiming at a much smaller chunk of the population. Which is in the kind of people who buy like twelve to twenty four books a year, and that is a chunk of very small chunk. But then you could be in that one. And so then trying to let this people know that you exist and why? Might want to read your books, and I'm so grateful for the people who've come in to buy community over the years and do buy books and pre orders. But it's always a stressful thing of of trying to do, and I imagine like the more books you right in some ways you want it. You wanna have like an upward trend. So in some ways that would make things more stressful versus a fear first effort and you sell like ten copies, you're like. Wow. That's ten more than I thought. Getting started. But you're I could see that it would get a little bit more stressful as yeah that will have happened by by this point. But I've been working a lot on that. And you know, at this point we also know that there's another project I wasn't talking about for the first part of the year. But we launched the the before breakfast podcast with heart media, which is one of the major media companies. That's in the podcast space. So I'm doing a daily show on productivity. If people are listening to this podcast one wanna check that out. You've been listening to best of both worlds. And you're thinking, hey, what could be better than having more? Of Laura and listen to that Sarah did not actually feel like quitting her job in medicine to do this with me. But I'm here morning everywhere. So you can listen to that as well. But launching two things in three months in in fact, in that is you know, professionally in a little bit stressful. So anyway, other things falling apart in in the course of that happening. But that's okay. But it's exciting that is very that ain't grind exceeding here. Your new your new thing, which will have been in full swing. They'll be like a million episodes out by the. Be like fifteen sixteen episodes at least because it's daily and personally, I suffered only hope that some of those listeners will have found this episode by now thinking, oh, I want to hear more of the personal side of Laura, you know, more than five minutes at a time. So if you are listening because you've found us on her new podcast, welcome. Thank you for joining us here. We we really appreciate that. And tell your friends this this podcast is, you know, all about the intersection of of work and family and from the perspective of people who love both. And so I know there's gonna be some overlap between the audiences. It'll be exciting to see how these things play into each other on the relationship front, should I just go through mine in the new two years or do you wanna talk about your professional ones? Now. Let's alternate will be more interested in it. Let's do. Okay. So my work ones are while at work in blog ones, because that's sort of like, you know, the the main part of my work in the molester part. So I did well with my like actual job stuff. I have started a research collaboration that. As long stagnant. I have completed some sort of transition career logistic stuff, and there's something that has to do with the residency where I have to kinda create their didactic schedule in that is almost done to the entire end of the academic year. Which is a huge milestone been our first year with residents in it's been awesome. So I give myself, you know, I think a lot of this is like Annette pumping anymore. This is my first I q where I'm, you know, not to that thing. So I'm like, I'm in a nice work renaissance. Like, I feel very productive at work. And then on the blog side, I did transition my sight to WordPress. That was something that I. Anyone hasn't checked it out? Please go check out the new shoebox that she backs 'cause you THE S H U B O X dot com. So I didn't change the name. But yeah, the site looks very different. The only thing I didn't do it all is anything with my book proposal their book because I know I'm probably waiting till that like mythical time when everything settles down which is never going to happen. And I recognize that. But in my defense when I look at stuff that happened in the last three months, including a move. There may be a little bit of actual truth to that tired excuse currently. So we'll see where that goes. All right. You're next slow your roll on that. Although I. I want to read it. I mean, I want to read it. So that's why I'm sort of hoping it happens at me too me too. All right. Stay tuned for q. All right. Family and relationships you go. Well, so we are taking the family to DisneyWorld which happened in mid-february. I posted a couple of things about on my blog. It's people are looking for DisneyWorld tips and tricks in one of one of my favorite posts of it was Jasper did ride reviews of like wait rides have to link to that. I love that post. Just adorable end to cool. So he's I've been evident cursing him to do some guest posts for he wants to. It's just you know, he's also writing stuff for school so trying to get him to do the extra stuff, but he'd likes it when he gets the feedback. So that was really cute. It was it was a good trip. We had a lot of good memories for it. We did a lot of the stuff you can do when you plan ahead. So we had like Cinderella's table we ate there. We did a avatar flight of passage which we got the fast passes to that. And really cool experience that the kids actually got to do it. Twice in a row because it turned out. So we had fast passes for everybody. But it turned out. Alex was too short that it's like forty four forty eight inches or something instead of forty a so he couldn't do it. But so we had the swap out like some I I went with the kids while my husband stayed with Alex. And then we're like, okay. Well, then he'll just go in the rest of us are going to head over to lunch. But then while he was sitting like in the by the gift shop another dad who is in the same position told him. Hey, by the way, you can take your other kids back with you that. Yeah, we played called the babies flop or something which I thought the baby swap was only four people who waited in the sand. Byline like the point was that you didn't have to wait in line twice. Right. So that if your spouse went through the line with your kids like you, your spouse could go without waiting, right? If you know you had a under forty no it does work for the past. It worked for the member. Big as you know, I'm slightly like ride foot, not read phobic. But certainly so I didn't go on test track which kind of regret where they offered it with the kid they'd use fast passes on ahead. Be who is like a baby at the time. And I didn't do it. So yes, they let you do that show on test trackers. It's great. I mean, like if you've been in a car that goes sixty five miles per hour. It's not any never knows like it's not any scarier than that. It's like being in a convertible. That's going. The next time. Next time, we live close can do it. Yeah. You can do it. So that was the success your trip, and what else was on the family is your family relationships in the same bucket. I can't remember now I put I just put that all in one one bucket. So so Disney was our accomplishment, and we did it and the kids had a good enough time that they are nudging for that Disney cruise and going back to Disney and all that, you know, Disney is probably not my favorite place to go as vacation. But. This was this was not about me and other people had a good time. And I didn't have a horrible time did fine. So it's gonna write success. How about you? So in my family category. I was okay. So I had even scheduled on my calendar like the week after new years I had nanny coverage on it wasn't working. So I had one day marked as animal day. One more day. Mark does Cameron day. And we ended up moving that we go. Oh, that's in those days. Completely didn't happen. I mean, that's understandable. But I'm a little sad because it's really hard to find a day where you have full childcare coverage, but I'm not working and they're not in school. It's actually a kind of a unicorn in. We're not traveling. So I think my next chance is gonna be summer because against bring break, we're going to be traveling and. There were two days where we weren't. But it had to put other stuff. So I think I'm going to have to table this to Q three, but I'm still determined to do it. My other goals were to plan the weekend trip that we just took check ends spring break trip. Check into join the local library, which I just did last weekend. So that's exciting to have to start building. My reserve list. I don't have a separate. Yeah. I don't have a separate like relationship one either. So I kind of lump everything in there. Yeah. That's just the the triple thing that works for career relationships self and I do a a goal for each quarter in in each category yet, the mommy days with each of the kids can be I do that during the summer and because again yet getting them when they're off school. And also, you know, I can arrange to not be in have childcare in a not be doing something else. It winds up being logistically complex in. Now. They're sort of nudging for more elaborate stuff for mommy days during the Bush ends in grid. On lying. Which I mean, it could be fun. But if like once the bar goes up too, far, I mean, what what are you supposed to the nine year old? He literally said he's like I want to go to Rome. I'm like. But I am not scared. This is like gonna fit in the cadidates dot of Molly day be like a big gift to graveness or. Her birthday. Maybe. Kids. Ask for a trip to Rome individually a lot of frequent flyer. It's true. I wouldn't have to pay for it. But I would have. Take the time to do. Twelve hours in Rome doesn't really know. I mean, it's more like it would be like a mummy three days. Been then it gives companies. So we'll say I don't we may have to actually create some specific constraints like mommy days must be in this radius. This maybe give them a budget like then it could become kind of like a cool planet landing exercise for them. Nice. 'cause I've said like I mean from where we are in Philadelphia New York in Washington DC are both in the in the range. I will do for a day trip. Right. But. Yeah. Past that, I'm not sure that easy to get. But there's a lot of things if you include from Washington to New York, I mean, that's yeah. That was her big ranch. I mean, there are many activities that can be done with with their actually very few that cannot be happy. Then that reading this. I feel like that's a good leash. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So yeah. The you've you're doing that. Okay. So so then for my myself category. I had this one that was inspired by AMI. Bill shots who runs this blog called humans outside and she lives in Alaska. And so she had said for three hundred sixty five days a year. She wants to be outside for at least twenty minutes a day. I think she has additional guidelines on it. She wants to be outside doing something active for twenty day. It's hard. I've seen the photos on Instagram her with like icicles. All over face because it turns out Alaska gets pretty cold. But I have not had icicles Oliver my face, but I have done. I said I wanted to get outside for twenty minutes a day through quarter one which is the quarter that is cold and sleety and rainy an unpleasant in my part of the world, and I have done pretty good. I say there's probably I would say I can count on one hand the number of days. I haven't done it. An unusually those days is because it's been a travel intensive day. And it's very hard to coordinate getting outside when I'm back and forth, airports and stuff like that. And come home late. I probably could have gone and sat outside in the cold for twenty minutes late at night. The just seem like that wasn't the point. Right. That without the point was to be enjoying like daylight when there was daylight in limited hours to not use bad weather as a reason not to go outside. And so I've got my Eddie. Bauer coat that long. I've got these muck boots that are up to my knees in in quite warm. And so I can pretty much shut out a lot of the weather in. I naturally not good with cold. I I get cold very easily my hands actually a present. I've I've broken out in high of around to Kobe. I've got good gear. And I am also happier when I've gone outside in gotten some fresh air. So I'm trying to sort of work through like my own physical limitations on this enc- if I can get around it. So that's awesome. It's very a Norwegian of you. Yeah. In secret to the two enjoying winters. That's awesome. I cannot speak to having the same challenges. So sorry. It's like very nice here. Now is that it for personal going outside? An okay, your turn mine were to make my various doctors appointment, which I did. I like you you like rocked out on this didn't hear like five or one day. I was like, and I haven't gone to most of them just yet. Okay. Making them. Correct. Unlike obviously, none of them were urgent because if you can put up something for two years, you can put off something for like two years. Yeah. And actually like I haven't been in the dermatologist be a murder, and I need to so. Yes. So and a lot of the industry every gets booked up. So I didn't care when the appointments were at just wanted to make them. I did. So that was awesome. I did not however solidify might poor little parenting book club is kind of. I really miss it. And we're having trouble finding a date, but that'll be a goal for for next time. I don't think this was actually these were not on my formalist. But I had always said I wanted to try orange theory or similar in finally did that so how'd that go that was that was a good one? Right. Like, yeah. Like group, fitness. Yeah. I won't kind of knew that. Because I remember I don't know if you remember I used to go to fly bar, which is like the bar apart flywheel on not into spinning. But I like the the other part that was my Miami Beach version, but they never had good class times. It was targeted towards I think flexible twentysomethings navy today at home moms who would drop their kids off. So they'd have all these classes at like nine AM and nothing super early. So we moved in this county. I think tends to have more people with traditional schedule. So there are numerous places with five AM five thirty classes, and I picked one it's actually not a chain. It's called Ellen's ultimate people talked about it in. It's awesome. It's similar to orange theory. But like kind of maybe like if orange Syrian cross had a child. He would be it would be this. It is really fun. And I like it. So that was good. And then I've started reading little bit more gun which was not really on my list. But I'm still happy about it. Because I went through a big rut January, which I'm not gonna blame Mira commie for. If you just you can it can just joy, your momentum for like nine even that I wasn't into it. I actually still enjoy his writing style. And I enjoy I enjoy it wasn't a bad book. And I want to go back to it. It just wasn't the book for me right now. I need I needed something more propulsion 'cause I was just getting stuck and I was falling asleep. And now that I've found some good books of just sort of like back to my like just wanting to read all the time, which is great. That's good. That's good. Sometimes you just you gotta stop what you're doing and put in another one. Yeah. It'll work it'll work. Yeah. I'm you started. It wasn't on your list either. But you started a new workout thing. I did. Yeah. No. I I've been I was just thinking what can I give myself credit for that didn't put on my last night. I went to went to the OBGYN at some point in Q one. 'cause I realized I hadn't gone in four years and had to. Actually, do all the paperwork again as a new patient because it had been so long. Oh, amazing. Yeah. Well, I felt like I had adequate care in that regard for the many years that I was having babies constantly. So I was a county made up for done with that go to the dermatologist. But but more for cosmetic reasons. So that that that is fun. I guess like self care right there right there. Stop looking like, I'm forty years old the Derm. I'm going to is is is like medical and they have other opportunities as well. I don't know if I'm going to be exploring vote, you don't need to. But I may at some point you I was feeling like I needed to explore this opportunities. So here we are. And yeah, no, I started a new workout habit of actually doing some strength training. I've I've said time and time again like, oh, I mean to lift weights or do some sort of strength training type stuff and never did an pondered why because I clearly can stick with other workout goals. I generally believe it's like I don't do what I don't wanna do. Right. And if I don't really wanna do it, then I don't wanna do it. But I realized that could build in cue into my life. And so I had this chunk of time, you know, between eight ten eight twenty five in the morning that I was not ever using. Well, and so I've I've started just using my that time for lifting weights have resistance bands in a kettle bell in my office. And so I generally do at least five to ten minutes of of that. I have a few work lifts, I go through few moves that go through trying awesome are using video. Or now, I've I've looked at. A few articles are things online of like kettlebells moves or resistance ban. Moves things you can do. Hotel workout. I guess is often what it's listed are has things like that. The thing that made the biggest difference for me in strength is embracing either a live person or a video telling me what to do like, I have no interest in creating my own workout. It's so boring. I can't I don't even know how people do that. I mean, I watch people at the gym. And I know they get into it. And you maybe get to a certain level of proficiency where you feel like you can craft your own workout. But I don't feel like I ever need together. I want someone to tell me what to do which is why I was loving the beach body, and I still do I really love those workouts? And now, I'm enjoying some some kind of a similar stuff but live by it's for me. It was all about like, I'm you didn't instructor. Yeah. I'm only doing like five ten minutes, though, are meant. So it's it's hard to make a difference starting at that board in five to ten minutes and probably vanished do three or four days a week. Because it there's some days where the routine doesn't happen right because I'm gone or whatever. But so far so good. I feel like it's a cute it the cue that I can stick with like, I know that this is my time to do it as I don't like people telling me what to do. That's true. You don't like training pilot actually, very opposite in that exercise guard like like, yeah. Like, the idea of a streak seems like I could never and I really like being ordered around by someone's when it comes to exercise. I'm the person hated. I'm like give me out of here. I do not want anyone ever telling me what form of exercise I need to do again in my life. So so finding. Dear. All right. We'll do. We have any other our goals or set our goals. Those are main ones, oh, I did achieve my blog monthly visitors. That was actually kind of cool because there was an ad network. I was interested in switching to and to be honest. Much of actually got more visitors or just got a more accurate analytics app installed because before I was using my ad networks one. And I think it might have been missing. So anyway, was very happy to find that. I exceeded the number that I needed to end can we'll you've been blogging more frequently and I I did come back more often. And it's true. And I noticed the weekend that I shared stuff on Instagram stories like normally I had this big drop on the weekend. And that weekend I didn't. So I guess people must have clicked click through for my my stories. It's like anything else. I mean, the more time put into it and more you do it than the more people. Come. But that's great that you got yourself to a better Adna. That was cool. That's really cool Sant that's pretty much that was cute one. I would consider it overwhelmingly pretty good. Quarter considering how much was going on. And. Yeah, now, we're onto q two on YouTube, or I would say I wanted to have my back yard, redone and Qiaotou, and I think that is not going to happen given that I haven't done any estimates or calling anyone or thought about it at all. So well, maybe that will not happen to already see that q. Two will not be that. Well, our my off air suggestion, Laura is that she downgrade her her item to contact someone and get proposals rather than actually getting it done because also that's more of a process goal than like an outcome, which you have more control over, and at least then at the very I mean bonus if you actually have it done, but if you've set things in motion than, you know, you're set for q three exactly and just one thing in my defense is that my backyard is covered in snow right now. So I feel like estimates on it might be uncomfortable for all involved in an inaccurate. It'd be. Been under the snow. So given that yes. Much of q one has been well, I my point was I wanted to get in motion. He wants it could happening Q2. when it wasn't under snow that makes sense. And I also worry that calling once the snow is gone. That's when everyone's gonna call, and then they won't wanna come. But I wanna call with somebody will come somebody wants to do my backyard that is purposeful segue that was a purposeful segue into our Q and A, by the way by the time this airs, hopefully, there won't be snow, but I will recall that last year there still was in ill. So don't consider yourself off the hook at this point. Are. So I'll read the question here in Michigan. This winter we have already had h snow and cold as with school cancellations cold day. Oh, yeah. Because has got down horrible horrible Yasser. That's so sad. Okay. And it's only, you know, mid-winter when this was written hand, I would love to hear Laura and Sarah talk about adjustments that required. When our kids have unexpected days at home, and I would include six days in that some degree as well. Now, I acknowledged this is not me talking. This is still the questioner there's the necessarily schedule adjustments, of course. But what I'd really like to hear you talk about is the attitude adjustment. That's wired, and how did you that? Well, I have no problem when the plan days are off. I just know those are not going to be days. I get most mode must focus work done. But when you're faced with week after week of incomplete weeks of school in everybody's out of routine is it just survival or other mindsets in practical strategies to help you through these times would love to hear you to talk about this. I'm guessing you have a little more experience with Laura than Sarah for kids. Both get sick though. So it's not our kids both get sick. And we had. More than a week off for a hurricane a couple years ago. So you know, we have our own challenges. Yeah. Ours is more winter focus, generally because of the, you know, so so there are some ways you can obviously plan your life to try to deal with it. And it is I agree it as hard to have a good attitude about it when day after unplanned day stacks up one reason, we switched to nanny care from daycare back when Jasper was little we, you know, there were all these sick days. The snow stuff at the daycare, and I wound up covering the vast majority of it timid. I remember our first winter there were some arguments at one point I got like my husband to like work at home for two days. So I could go work in a bookstore. And it was just like this huge. Because I mean, I guess the adjustments to parenthood hit his mind will you're already working at home. Whereas I have to go to my office in. So therefore, it's a bigger deal for be to take the day off. There were many fights about this that will clearly think you you clear a feel that your career is more important than mine. If that's the way you're saying, so. Feeding into all sorts of fun with that. But one thing we did wind up doing then is is hiring an EMMY and our first Danny in New York, actually, lived four blocks away. So there was like almost no situation where she couldn't make it to work. I mean, obviously, you know, if we had like ten feet of snow it was a bit. But, you know, six inches like you can still walk in your boots to to the apartment. It was. There was very limited days than that. I wouldn't have coverage in that helped a lot like it made me feel like I could plan my life better in actually, you know, get stuff done, which which was huge. So I I would certainly look into stuff like that. In fact, our current nanny is is just very in gung ho which I so appreciate she'll actually look at the weather forecast. It looks like we're gonna get a foot of snow show. Volunteer to stay overnight the day before. Awesome. Make sense. 'cause if the weather is in that kind of questionable zone that it's very stressful for everyone to figure out, you know, if they're gonna make it back and forth. So in her standpoint, it's probably like, you know, what I won't miss a day at work. I don't have to worry about the drive probably have some agreement where after some point she can go to her room and be left alone. So I mean, I'll pay overtime to. Yeah. And there he goes those take an opportunity enough to so that's that's also been been great and cut down on that. But yet that the attitude part about it. I don't know. I I wish I had a good answer for that. Because I can't say that I have entirely ever reached a happy place about it. And I know I didn't in those first winters end. I feel like we did change things structurally that would at least cut down on the issues related to it. I would try also to look and see if there were days coming up with weather and get as much a head of time as possible. So for instance, say it looks like we're gonna get a snowstorm this week therefore Sunday as my work day. So starting out like eleven thirty in the morning. My husband would be on with the kids for six seven hours, and I would work, and I would get a whole work day in and then if I lost Wednesday and Thursday to snow at least I had done a whole workday before the problem. Of course, is that you can't call anyone on Sunday. You can't set up a meeting on. Sunday. So it only works for certain kinds of work. And I think that's the part that is more challenging if you have a lot of work that involves meeting. Other people obviously can convert stuff to calls and many of them are probably dealing with the same thing. It's probably not just you. If there's enough snow that is difficult for people to get around. You're not going to be the only person calling in. So you can you can be okay with that give put the kids in front of the TV or in front of an ipad or something and feel zero guilt about it. Do you ever like leave, you know, three days two days in January in today's in February like blank to be like, this is where all the crap is gonna get moved that has to get moved. I tried to do this yet, actually. And I do it even more frequently. I as much as possible will attempt not to schedule stuff on Fridays. And that's because then I can put stuff on your buffer. Yeah. It's it's about for. So then I'm not falling behind. So if you can work that out to than anything that got. Cancelled Wednesday Thursday could possibly be rescheduled to Friday. And then if you lost Friday as the day than it would be okay, because I think the buffer makes a huge difference for me because you know, before I had a buffer a kid got sick. It was like if felt like a catastrophe because if I had to cancel my clinic than where was I gonna put all those patients in their literally wouldn't have been any day. And then it's like, okay. Well, then I'm going to be like overbooking myself days days in mind tire next week is going to be miserable versus oh, well, I can't work today. But therefore this day off is gonna turn into a workday. I'm just having a day off. Now is that ideal? No, but it's less catastrophic. So I think that, but there's a few like sick days that you would have to be home than right? I mean, you owe me very few more about like weather emergencies or something like if the ticket you to the hospital will then doesn't happen. Very logistics. The other thing again, we have we have a really reliable. Nanny who you know? She herself almost never thankfully gets sick. I should knock on something. I know and I feel comfortable, you know, if my kids have a colder, fever, she's fine with them. So that doesn't tend to impact my work so much, and we obviously have less at the weather stuff. But I don't I will also say that I don't have a good attitude about things that change last minute either not my favor like so just giving you some support there because it kind of sucks if you have something planned, and your the kind of person that plans a lot or maybe like put a lot of work in making sure the logistics, right? And then something like a sickness comes along just kinda slashes everything that sucks, it's hard. You have a magic for an end going back to you know, the arguments I was having early in my parenting journey. I will say that this is both parents responsibility. If you owe your parenting with someone it is not fair to have this one hundred percent on one parent, even if there is, you know, more flexibility, at least in theory 'cause flexibility has never infinite. And so, you know, I resent my husband wound up having all the kids on a lot of weekends. In order to to do that. And I still wouldn't think that's ideal. But you know, if you're both in office, maybe you can sort of have an agreement of like which parent is on call for the stuff on any given week. And then so, you know, there are weeks that you're not the parents on call. And then you can may be put more stuff into those weeks understanding that the weeks that you are on call or the ones that might be interrupted. Yeah. I mean, I don't think that anybody needs to strive for some arbitrary fifty fifty you know, in either direction, maybe the male partner is going to shoulder more that, you know, who knows I think it's whatever works for everyone. But I just think it needs to be thought out and should not be disproportionately on one side versus the other. Yeah. So yeah. All right. Let's go to love of the week have to think about this. I had TVD because apparently. Well, I will put a shout outs. We talk about goals. So I'm gonna name my two favorite books that I have read so far one of the my already mentioned. So actually, we'll skip that one. But I just finished Delia Owens where the crowd sang. And it it's been very popular this year. I know it's kind of everywhere best probably because it's like a really good. It's it is one of those proposed of reads, the characters are interesting. They're multidimensional the setting is just gorgeous. And I happen to be reading it. When I was in Nashville so a little bit southern in the book is very southern. I think at one point I was like I need biscuits 'cause they just gets and I was actually in a place to get them. So that was really it will so yes, since I'm back into reading that is my my love of the week had likes that. I'll have to check. I'd say that's my favorite Q one read this far super accessible. I think I don't know. Like, what do you like trying to think of I mean, little Ann Patchett? He maybe. Yeah. Check it out. Oh, yeah. I was hit if I just finished reading Jane Jacobs. Great death in life of great American cities. It was it was interesting. I you know as a little hard to get in. I did not is kinda slow moving at times. But you look at city sidewalks in different ways. And I really enjoyed kind of that any book that can recast how you are looking at something that fundamentally what makes a street safe is having is on the street, which means having people there and people at different times of day and a lot of streets. There's only people on the, you know, at like eight thirty when they're going to work in like the lunch rush in after work, or if it's a commercial street in the residential. There's only certain times they're on it too. People are gone all day. And you can't have that in have a good street. So you have to have multiple uses. It's a different buildings on a street that different people will be going to at different times. And then you have a lively safe street. So it was kind of fun to think about in what mix of commercial and residential and all that makes for a good city block. So that is very interesting. Yeah. The worst is when you're at a conference, and you feel like you're in this weird area where where everything completely shuts down on weekend as you're sort of the business district, but you're there for contra conference that's on the weekend. And yet it's like an eerie doesn't wear that. I need. They're actually going on here Saturday at noon. That's a fascinating topic of cool. So enjoyed that. And I could be my love of the week. All right. Well, this has been best of both worlds. This has been episode eighty seven where we're talking about our q one which could be quarter or quintile goals. So we'll be back next week with more on making work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the underscores shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura Vander, Kim dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcast. Please join us next time for more on making work in life work together.

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