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Crying Wolf on Kushner

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The following podcast. Maybe little dirty but forget about that going to tell you to go to our twitter feed at slate dot com and it's Wednesday may thirteenth twenty twenty from slate. Gist might pass. It is probably good to wear face masks outside and certainly good to wear them inside when interacting with others from a distance a safe distance. Let's see six feet. There is a certain amount congressional panic about social distancing measures however for instance in a recent poll thirty eight percent of British people said it was unacceptable for a person to go for a drive to clear his or her mind during the corona virus outbreak. True forty percents that it was okay but thirty eight percent said. Don't do that when of course it is fine. It would be nice to be able to discuss these things. Perhaps you WanNa say oh but if you drive you could get a crash and I could say yes. But that's very unlikely and let's not make the perfect be the enemy of the good. Co that discussion went well because it was with myself. A person who I don't have suspicions about and who I respect well. We can't do that with other people. It would be nice to be able to have these discussions at attention level somewhere under eleven but it seems right now that the debates not that you hear or have among the people you know but the debates that you hear in the public are basically on one side ever doing anything out of the house is homicide versus the other side saying to ever protect oneself in any way is giving into fear. It is hard to have a proper discussion. When this is the discussion being pumped out by Senator John Kennedy on Fox News? I don't WanNa have to wear a face mask and the shower. That's that Osho promulgates. Every DAY PROMULGATES. Pretty Fancy word to advance an idiotic point. I don't want to wear a face mask in the shower. Also another legitimate concern. If I'm a Ventriloquist I don't WanNa have to keep six feet away from my dummy. How am I supposed to open and close the poll? Despite whatever the World Health Organization might say facemask in the shower what's next. Bring a wash cloth to the grocery store. Give myself a sponge bath online at the post office. I'm not GONNA do that. I don't care what the European Union dictates by the way. Don't wear a face mask in the shower. Maybe it has the exact same cadence of this juice Newton classic. I can't get I. I can't hear that phrase without without the Juice Newton Song Underneath me ladies and gentlemen the musical stylings of Miss Juice Newton by the way the guy who wrote that song chip Taylor also wrote wild thing by the trucks that range a song. That is the intra music to Charlie. Sheen's character and Major League is also written by the same guy who wrote a song. That is the exact shorthand for Ghazi Lens. Lovemaking and I do mean I mean no other phrase other than love making the making of love with vaseline smeared on the Lens. Hey or wherever you want to smell it. I'm not you're crazy mask in the shower type of guy but just I won't wear a face mask in the shower angel just as that is asinine posturing from the right and an over exaggeration on what. An actual proposal is wearing a face mask in a restaurant. That's an actual proposal wearing a face mask and the office. That's something we will need to do wearing a face mask in the White House. I would say something to take into consideration but just as that is posturing from the right there is also posturing from the left and we will get into that in our spiel that before the pandemic they were always sculptural. Cigna fires totems often items of clothing in the culture war and they were things like red hat's versus crocheted pussy hats or a cloth. Shopping bag were wearing pants. Suits or wearing camouflage or displaying truck nuts on the back of your pickup and these things were maybe stupid maybe annoying. Maybe they help the people who were toting them. But now the accessory that expresses where you stand in this culture war it's not a bumper sticker that says coexist. It's not a bumper sticker. That says lock her up. It's a mask and a mask isn't a symbol or a display. It's literally the thing that can save your life or kill someone so we're treating it as an coutry ma but what it really is is more vital tool of survival. This is fantastic. Cloth is now a Cudgel a garment is the new gun for the love of God and Osha. Do not wear a face mask in the shower. Senator and don't Rinse lather repeat on the Senate floor now that we've got the basic instructions down. Can we go about not being even heroes or leaders but just go about being minimally sensible human beings on the show today? He don't worry like I said some elements of the left. Have their own over. The top exaggerated moments of panic thing. Jared Kushner never sad but it would sure be troubling. Had he said it but first Mike Kaplan is a stand up. Comedian who has a philosophy of life unlike most other standups? Mike doesn't rely on punch lines. That really slapped a smile onto your face. He's a kind of kind kind of kind and I'm asking. Does that even work? He's uplifting he makes the room better off for him having entered it and I gotta say that just doesn't seem right. That's not the comedy I know. We'll get into it up next here to promote his new album AKA. It's Mike Kaplan support for the gist comes from our friends at rocket mortgage by quicken loans. Home today is so much more than it was yesterday but at rocket mortgage home is still all about you during these challenging times. We're all experiencing the top priority at rocket mortgage is the health and safety of the communities they serve and while things are changing quickly every day. One thing they will never change is their team's commitment to giving you the best mortgage experience possible. That's why you need mortgage support. Their team of experts is there to answer questions and offer solutions. They understand that hardships happen. And they're here to help whether that means working with you to save money on the mortgage you have or finding a new way to navigate payments if you have questions. The team at rocket mortgage has answers. They know how important your home is to you because you are important to them if you need mortgage assistance to home loan. Experts at rocket mortgage are available to help twenty four hours a day seven days a week from their home to yours. The team at rocket mortgage is with you visit rocket mortgage dot com slash. The gist to learn more call for cost information conditions equal housing lender licensed in all fifty states and M L S Consumer Access Dot Org number thirty thirty. Mike Kaplan M. Y. Q. Is a cerebral comedian. Cerebral is usually what the people who like him. Say and it's not am I K. E. Kaplan although at one time was and this shed some light on why the name of his new album is a K. A Mike is a guy I've liked for years and years because he does two of my favorite forms of humor unapologetic puns and challenges us to think about the next level of comedy. I E. NOT. The don't you hate that kind of comedy. So Mike's involved in a little bit of a don't you love that comedy to the extent that I don't WanNa ruin too many jokes but the punchline of one of his jokes is just the word tender and it hits it hits when you say that that is a? I love what you have done there. Which is both two of my favorite things which is not spoil a joke and deliver the punchline of a joke that you're not spoiling when someone who hears this interview then listens to the album. They'll laugh. It's a joke for being the joke. And then they'll have I think an extra wave of appreciation. Oh my God that was. That was the joke that was in the trailer. It's beautiful and can I also say another thing that I like what you did. Your interpretation of the name of my album AKA is very like perfect and very perfect at more than perfect in that it's imperfect which is the name of actually what will be my next album but this album called Aka the reason that it's called Aka until now had nothing to do with me. Mike Kaplan having an Aka of different spelling of Mike Kaplan and actually everything to do with the album's name itself being an Aka for its original name which was all killing aside. Which is the name. I was touring it with the name that I brought it to Edinburgh the fringe fest with in two thousand eighteen. All killing aside because as you may know or anyone who is listening to the album. The content of the album is about love and kindness and not murdering a big theme. Is that if I had to participate in a murder and I'd rather not but if I had to I would rather be the victim the murder then the murderer so killing is a major theme of the album and in his time these uncertain times where death and disease and suffering are real things. That people are concerned with that. I'm concerned with that out of context. If you saw the name of that album I talked to my mother and my mother I said. What do you think of the name? All killing aside the album's coming out during a global pandemic before even finish. She was like killing. I don't like that in the name. What about calling it all kidding aside and I was like that sound I get I hear you. I do think it's better in some ways. So That's why we chose Aka which is obviously short for also known as so it's another name for the album. It's also showed for all kidding aside from my mom killing aside to represent if you hear this whole story like the original intent of the material and the album's name and also my initials R. M. A. K. And I'm basically trying to answer everything. So thank you for coming to my Ak Ama describing everything about this album. Yes F- why that is the Faq those good that joke or that series of jokes. Where I don't get it wrong. The premise made me laugh. I thought you were maybe going to take it in another way but the premise could be a punchline and the premise where you introduce what your part in the murder may be. Say That exactly. Oh I'M A get murdered guy. Yes. I'm a murderer guy I immediately. I guess how jokes one way jokes workers you fill in stuff for yourself and your brain and congratulate yourself on knowing what the speaker is implying or means or at least convince yourself. That's the case so I I think I got it immediately and I laughed at much as much at that as I do it most jokes. I'm a murdered guy. Oh Yeah I think that my goal is to obviously when you break down comedy in one way that ends up not being funny when you break it down. There's a setup and a punchline that's like classic joke structure set up and punchline and then I've found over the years of like if people didn't laugh at the punchline. I would be like well. How about another punchline or another punchline and then it would turn out that sometimes. The original intended punchline just became part of the setup and then sometimes because it was also a punchline or I would eventually add punch lines to the setups. My goal was to have a setup have a punchline and then also have as many more punch lines as possible while also hopefully saying the thing that. I want to say yes. Then there's a series to breakdown humor. There's a series of jokes which hinge on the fact that so many of the rationales for murdering someone are also ways to die or be murdered. And I'm wondering if part of it started is that hey you know these words? These phrases getting murdered are also phrases for why you'd WanNa murder someone. At this point you know having started working on the material that would become this album in twenty sixteen. I point do like I recorded my last album before this in two thousand sixteen and then the next night after that recording I went onstage and started working on the seeds of this material and then over the next several years it became what it would essentially be when I recorded it in two thousand nine hundred nine hundred having brought to Edinburgh in two thousand eighteen in. It's pretty much almost for sure. Finished form which is to say that now in twenty twenty. I don't entirely remember the order of the jokes like I do. Remember one hundred percent that I had a psychedelic experience sometime after two thousand fourteen in which I thought about a slogan of like always love always forgive. That is something that I wouldn't say to somebody who had just experienced a massive loss for me at that time like everything is context dependent in a way and I imagined people saying to me like but what about in this situation not always love always forgive and I thought about that and I thought about how the name of that would have been a laugh and I'm like Oh maybe I could do some comedy about loving always forgiving and that was like the ultimate seed the idea behind my not rather getting murdered than murdering which some people might be like. Is it possible that it's because you're a tiny tiny person that couldn't murder anybody if you had to do that? It's just a practical thing but that sincerely I've thought about it logically. I honestly think that most people if you could be like if you could live your life the way that you wanted and be able to be fulfilled and have your your family your career. If you could have all of your dreams come true. Then why not? Also if it wouldn't impact you negatively like why not also have other people be able to have enough food and enough places to live and clothing and be able to fulfill their dreams? Like you know in studying Buddhist teachings. I've learned that the goal of being enlightened is in part or maybe in total to also then use that wisdom to help other people achieve that wisdom and enlightenment and I'm not saying that I have achieved these things. Certainly. I think I am farther along the path. I know more things now than I did before because I've lived longer had more experiences and so basically it is a practical thing that helps me like in these times with the corona virus. Like staying inside. Protect yourself and protect other people. It's a complete win win. Used to be a hero. You had to run into a burning building and pull people out of it now. You just have to stay inside your own building and on it and you you are helping. You are saving people. If you look at the numbers like people will be alive because more people stay inside and so. I didn't know this at the time but the material that I was developing I was like. Yeah if we all don't murder people if we all agreed to label ourselves instead of labeling myself like a pet peeve person and not even just a positive person because again like not saying to ignore that there are challenges there are suffering but for my own personal way of looking at things. Do my best to help everyone as much as possible to do what I think is right and kind as much as possible and that through doing those things if other people are like yeah that makes sense then instead of operating from like a fear mindset. Where like let's say our government might be like that government might try to attack us so we should attack them. And if they're thinking like that if everyone is preemptively attacking each other then everyone's attacking each other because they think that everyone is going to be attacking them. But what if no one was going to be attacking them because you're only attacking them because you think that you're going to get attacked and if you have an attack mindset then you keep thinking that I can only control myself on a local level like I. I'm not going to attack people if they haven't done anything to me. Certainly and if people ask me how do you recommend living? I'd be like this is what I do. I like this idea. You know so. I think that a lot of my comedy throughout my career has started with just a seed and I couldn't tell you what it was but then it grows and then like get added to it things get edited and then it might end up looking completely different than where I started. But this is the first hour of comedy that has been the most cohesive for me in the writing of it. In the conceiving of it in that. I know I didn't want to go too far on a tangent away from the general themes that I wanted the material to express like right. Now I'm not doing comedy so I'm not. There's not a punchline every minute I'm saying things that I mean and feel and think and care about and if I wanted to make this into comedy I'd be like I also need to make this be funny. And so when I do comedy. The goal now is to say the funniest things and the most me things and the truest things and the kindest things like whatever the equilibrium of that that I can manage so for this I really do think it didn't start with those words that could mean a couple of different things where ten years ago the answer would have been one hundred percent that is correct but now I discovered those I think after the fact. Is there something Buddhist about wanting to circle back in return to themes not just leaving out there? Well an image that I like. Is the Chop Wood? Carry Water Co. On with respect to comedy like how do you do comedy well? The chopping wood and carrying water of becoming a comedian is like writing and performing. That's all you do. You know anything just cling to that and then eventually five years in ten years in fifteen years in whatever it is at some point you know more than you did before you might not have achieved enlightenment as it says in the Co on but you are more enlightened venue. Were about the thing that you've been doing so you're like oh now that. I know at least a little bit more. How do comedy now? What do I do and the answer is well. Continue to do comedy the way that you were doing before right and performed that is the answer which seems like it's circling back to the same place that you were but the image I like is what if a spiral you're going around in a circle but you're ending up in the same place on one plane but you're above it on another plane or deeper another plane depending whether you're spiraling up or spiraling down. I now I'm spiraling out. But that is a Buddhist Cohen so I do think that there is something Buddhist in returning to the place that you were with perhaps more insight and more knowledge more wisdom than you had when you were there the first time now about the comedy of kindness and generosity and not taking on bridge and building instead of tearing down it does strike against. I think what most people's concepts of comedy would be. Just things like punch line or the jester tearing down institutions comedies tension right. But it's not that your comedy is a lack of tension. It's that it's a little bit different. My question is did it become almost an interesting thought. Exercise Challenge Puzzle to try to apply that to every situation. Perhaps I could imagine where at first you would say. Well that's a comedy. Nonstarter to find niceness and everything but maybe it actually becomes the sort of way that you can in order to apply that to situations where you don't think it can be applied. That's where you find really good comedy for me personally. One hundred percent there are wonderful. Comedians who I love who are tearing down institutions and. I want them to keep doing that like your Doug. Stanhope or Kamau Bell's or Hari Kondabolu like people who are really doing that. Classic thing that a trope but like being themselves uniquely in that speaking truth to power taking down authorities like. Here's the thing is this is kind of. Maybe it'll sound like a trick but immediately when you said you know the comedy of not taking umbrage I'm like I take umbrage against umbrage like so it's kind of just a flip side where I don't think that every comedian should be doing what I'm doing. I think actually know comedian should be doing what I want to be. A what you're right. You take umbrage again bridge but you don't give on bridge and a lot of COMEDIANS. Do that's fine too. I love that I want everyone to uniquely be themselves and it's also kind of a funny thing that I've talked about this with maybe Gary Coleman who I think is also following a similar muse or Josh? Gondal men like there are people out there. There's so many kind. Comedians and some of them like black kind comedian who yells a lot and expresses righteous and onstage. Carlin expressed righteous anger on stage. And was you know a soft spoken kind man off Chris? Rock isn't yelling all the time in his life. So there is certainly a place for these avatars. These archetypes like I think Lewis Black. One's talked about it as like your personality is like a pie and each slice of the pie like he's like amplify this slice of the Pie for performance. And we're all doing that. In all walks of life you talk to your grandmother differently than an audience than a job interview than at work or at home with a loved one and so I love especially that there. Is this idea that comedians are like these outsiders like if every comedian is following that? And I'm like oh well then I can be an outsider to the outsider. Like us every comedian. I think every artist is hopefully following the things that they believe in. That are true to them. Yes listen I wanted to ask you do you have any ratios you. Try to maintain with your mustache in your eyebrows. Do they go. You know I haven't thought about it. Explicitly like the eyebrows. We let go like. We don't trim them. We don't say we my girlfriend and I are team. These are our eyebrows. I have them like I used to get them trimmed. Whenever I would get a haircut they would say not even a quick. They would say like a question but it was more a statement like you want us to trim your eyebrows. You want us to trim your eyebrows wants drivers but now I have to explicitly be like no. My girlfriend wants you to not trim my eyebrows and I want what she wants. I want to look like I want my face to look the best. According to the person who looks at it the most and who I care about the opinion of the most. If if I had my own preference I would take like the mustache couple of weeks ago because nothing matters I started shaving and then when I got down to only moustache I I showed it to my girlfriend and I said what do you think because most of the time I'll do that I'll have a moustache for a minute. I'll take a picture. I'll I'll do it for like one time. I dressed up as Marc Maron for a Halloween comedy sticker. Treat show and weirder head space. I'm good we're invent beefs with other COMEDIANS. That you didn't have leaned into the the imaginary beef with Marc Maron that I that I did one imagine but so I my girlfriend was like I like this mustache like I wrote a joke long ago. About how whenever I see someone with a moustache I think are they joking because whenever I have a moustache I am joking? But then in the middle of that joke once onstage. I noticed two giant men with giant mustaches. That didn't seem to be joking. And so I. I changed the joke that night to be whatever. I see a guy with the mustache. Think great choice and what's next topic so now my girlfriend since I think I've grown into an age day demeanor that I was like. Oh yeah this. This could be a real moustache so I think this is the first the remnants of the real mustache that I have and the beard has sort of grown in if you look at it closely or maybe anybody can see. They're like is that mustache like larger than the beard is. The Muslim mustache is in charge. Right like but everything waste service. Everything else is in the service of the mustache. It's the Church of the mustache. And maybe the first apostle is the beard. Yeah and I do think that in some ways like if I go out and I'm not wearing a mask which I would be. I'm going out wearing a mask these days but if I didn't have my mask on I think that I could probably get away for a moment by saying Oh this is actually a groucho mask. Look at look at the eyebrows. Look the mustache. These can't be real. It's almost like an equal sign. I'm a big math fan. Otherwise known as a Jew so then while they were confused I would run away. Mike Kaplan M why Q. His New Album is called AKA. We found out. Why thank you Mike? Thank you Mike. Casper has done it again with all new mattresses waking up with back pain. Introducing Zoned Support Casper is unique designed to keep your spine aligned when you sleep. There's something brand. New called air. Scape engineered FO- players with perforations that helps regulate your sleep temperature from betting bedframes and even a dog bed. Casper is everything to build the dream bedroom for every kind of sleeper man or beast. I Have Casper mattress. I think I got mine before the air escape. But it's nice. I sent the perforations even if there are no literal perforations actually when creating it because Casper's are sent to you. I may have created some of my own perforations. I was a little careful getting it out of the box. My girlfriend Michelle and I still talk about that with such fondness or Michelle's case I go to CASPER DOT COM use. The Code Gist for one hundred dollars off your mattress order. That's Code Gist. St For one hundred dollars off your mattress order terms and conditions apply see casper dot com slash terms and now the Spiel Time magazine issued. Its list of the time. One hundred and jared Kushner was on it the one hundred people. Who've benefited the most from nepotism in America various macy's and Huffman were left off the list. Wait hold on. I'm being told it's just one hundred. Most influential people anti shame. So anyway. In this interview with Jared Kushner the head of the White House's Office of son-in-law Kushner was asked about how his corona virus preparation that's phrase that makes you shutter but how his corona virus preparation may come up against the November third election. Time magazine asked him exactly about that. Is there any scenario including a second outbreak in the fall? Where the new past November third? That's too far the future tout nothing that I'm aware of now but again our focus right now is just getting elections will happen on November third. I it's not my decision to make not driving. Commit one way or the other hearing that reply former White House ethicists vice chair of the citizens for responsibility and ethics in Washington. Richard Painter Jared Kushner. Says he can't commit one way or the other on whether there will be an election on November third. He's nuts and representative Carolyn. Maloney tweeted. Jared Kushner is not in charge of when U. S. Elections are held right which is why when they asked him. Can you commit to elections on November third? He answered I am not in charge of that. It is not my decision to make. Oh No ono you don't. That is not your decision to make Mr. Yeah that's what he said. Cnn's Chris Cillizza said. He should've said yes. Absolutely November third firm commitment because we absolutely want elections on November third and therefore it would be good to be told they were absolutely happening on November third. The problem is he can't say that because he doesn't know because we're living in a time of corona virus. What he did say was you know. I'm the wrong guy to ask but I don't see why they wouldn't be held. Then now I understand. Kushner is not exactly a good faith actor so it strikes me that many people wouldn't credit any response that he gave as trying to promote democracy above all else but there was actually literally nothing in his answer in that actual. Answer that you're heard that hinted at thwarting of democracy. So it's the inflation of a perfectly acceptable answer into a threat to the republic that does road a little bit of the credibility that people like painter and groups like his half. How about the Yahoo News Headline Top News? Trump aide Kushner suggests delay possible in. Us election. He didn't he didn't he said it's not my call and he added. This is not my decision to make. I'm not sure commit one way or the other but right now that's the plan and again hopefully by the time we get to September October November. We've done enough with testing and with and with all the different things we're trying to do to Prevent a future outbreak magnitude. That would make shutdown in times actual right up of that interview which we got to see for ourselves. Here is how that sentiment was relayed when asked if there was a chance. The presidential election could be postponed past November third due to the pandemic. Kushner said that it isn't his decision quote. I'm not sure I could commit one way or the other BA- right now. That's the plan. He said that is fun. That reporting is accurate. Also of note. It's the second to last paragraph in fifteen paragraph piece which is about where it deserves to be so there's nothing of an answer became a call to be outraged for no good reason to be sure. Trump has flirted with loose and irresponsible talk of unconstitutional. Deeds he does so specifically to provoke and it's hard for serious public officials and the media to totally ignore these violations of norms. Yet when you do cover them you kind of playing his game. So when trump says I'll be out in twenty twenty four so we may have to go for an extra term that puts the press in a bind and then he adds always only joking. But that doesn't really loosen the bind all right. That's called the conundrum when a Kushner says something anodyne that it's above my pay grade to decide if there's going to be an election but I think there's GonNa be when that anodyne thing is said it really is no bind. It's pretty much nonsense during a pretty big crisis and that nonsense is designed to unnecessarily whip up anxiety which isn't really hard to do these days and just as I gave trump's rhetorical shennanigans as regards term limits and accepting election results. Just I gave them a big heaping of to be sure I will now give jared's total position at ub shore to be sure. Jared Kushner is unqualified to offer his opinion about US policy let alone to run any aspect of US policy to be sure. But guess what here we are and because we're here pointing out that the media and current and former government officials are being inaccurate. And we bit incendiary does not mean that I put it past trump to finagle weasel or threaten his way out of just election result. But the thing that's wrong with crying. Wolf. It's not that Wolves Joan exist or that. I don't take wolves seriously or that. The cryer is a wolf apologised or that wolves won't steal your sheep that the problem with crying wolf is that specific time in that specific place. They're actually ought to be a wolf and saying there is a wolf when there is no wolf weakens the credibility of the crier and unlike a sops parable here in America. There is something akin to a wolf contingency and they wear make America growl again garb and they have an ongoing campaign to undermine the media because they claim the media is inaccurate out to get wolves well in this case. The trump right house would be right to complain is inaccurate to say Jared Kushner suggests delay is possible in the US election you cried wolf and that does undermine the overall effort toward government accountability at a time when the stakes are as high as they've ever been in our lifetimes. And that's it for today. Show Margaret. Kelly is the associate producer of the gist. Her health tips include. Don't eat a Bagel after morning. Baby Daniel schrader just producer advises. Don't read France Kafka in the bathroom Brenda. Why not? Why not? Brenda's is always doing that. The Gist we nominate as the songwriter. With the greatest range the Scorpions possibly the guy who wrote winds of change and their lesser known ballot about a certain Panamanian strongman when a Manuel loves a woman in Peru Peru Peru. And thanks for listening.

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