EP124: The Budget Mom, Kumiko Love
I'm a proud first generation Tony's American working mom to an amazing one and a half year old boy. Was One situation with sugar because the the Mama I'm Catherine, Young. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Miraculous Mama's podcast I'm your host. Elizabeth Joy, and we believe in empowering women through storytelling and education and I'm so glad that you are here today. For today's podcast, we have on the budget. Mom, we have Miko love on in. She is going to talk to us about how she. Man are deter story. She became the budget mom how she got out of debt and how she helps moms. Get Out of debt and live the life that you love on a budget and. How to plan for your future and for? Things that you want to be able to do with your family. She's just so knowledgeable and so fun to talk to, so we are super excited to have her on before we get into it. I told you guys that I'm going to be going over. Some some segments. As I'm preparing. For my birth and my birth plan and everything like that. I wanted to keep you guys in the conversation 'cause. There's a lot of things I'm realizing that we have not talked about on here. Some super excited. In the next couple of months, we're going to be talking to. Prenatal chiropractor and acupuncturist an acupressure. Specialist going to be talking to a placenta encapsulated. Some people about breastfeeding we are talking about cloth diapering. We're talking about so many things that. We haven't talked about on here and it would just. It's like good knowledge just to have oh the public for talking to a pelvic floor therapist. And it's just great to. Learn this information because there's so much that. I've learned along the way and I know so. Many of you are in the same. Boat and I've been doing. Therapy and going to a chiropractor. Since about twenty. Five weeks of pregnancy so I thought it'd be a lot of fun to. Include you guys in why that's beneficial how it can help you. What these specialists are doing how it could affect your pregnancy. Your labor postpartum anything like that. In like I said just things on the birth plan. We're GONNA. Be talking about delayed cord clamping skin-to-skin. All of that good stuff today before the interview get started I wanted to talk to you about very sexy, subject called group B. Strep or streptococcus streptococcus. STREP THOUGH I I'm not pronouncing it right, but you guys. STREPTOCOCCUS YEAH! So everyone in PREGNANC- in the United States, it is standard practice. For everyone to get tested in a lot of other countries, it is not I know in the UK. It's not, but people are fighting for to be because it's. Scary if it's something that your baby does, get so here. Everyone will get tested stayed usually between thirty five and thirty seven weeks, and what it is. It's a bacteria that lives in the body. And, it usually does not cause a serious illness. It's not an S.. T. S. T. I. and it's. Usually found in your vagina or your rectum? So that means that. Since it can colonize in the vagina that it can pass from a pregnant woman to her fetus during Labor which is rare happens about. To every one or two babies out of one hundred. When a mother does not receive antibiotics during Labor. So. We're just going to chat about this for a minute. So about ten to thirty percent of pregnant women are colonized. With STREP BE, and we'll test positive, but out of the ten to thirty percent of women. They either strep pot like they could be positive temporarily on an off or persistently. Bacteria and everyone can kind of even if you test positive at your thirty five week, appointment doesn't mean that you're going to be positive during Labor. There's people who struggle with it persistently, and it can cause ut infections and all sorts of other stuff. But. Some people have it on and off or it's just temporary case that goes away. So. Being colonized. You're going to get an infection. A lot of people carry it in. Do not receiving infection. And So they started treating everybody who tested positive for jeep GPS GPS. Like. In the nineties they didn't and the cases were a lot higher because the problem is if you're a baby. Does get an infection. If you are GPS positive, and your baby is getting an infection. It can lead to serious illness such as meningitis, pneumonia or SEPSIS. So it is a serious thing if You really are positive, and if it is passed on to your baby, so they started treating GPS positive people. Pregnant, women In the ninety s about one point, seven cases per thousand births. Had, a serious illness, and once they started treating people, it went down two point two five per thousand births, so it was a significant decrease when they started treating everyone with antibiotics. WHO TESTED GPS positive? Now though and they've shown studies have shown, and I'm going to link all of this information for you. The in Labor, the rapid test is much more effective and not every place is doing that now, but that's definitely something to talk to your provider about is that even if you test positive at your thirty five thirty seven week if you can do a in labor, rapid test as well They Excuse me. Another thing that they've shown that has happened, is that. In. Cases where. You're positive and they. If you're positive, they're going to do. IV antibiotics in those cases there's been several studies in seven out of eight studies have showed the IV. Antibiotics affect the baby's Gut microbiome short term so anywhere from four to eight weeks with some more serious cases between six months in a year. And it was even higher in babies who weren't breastfed so that we can have negative effects. The air, the antibiotics can have some negative effects for the baby shown to be short term also. If you're receiving antibiotics, you have a risk of yeast infection, you end the baby both your risk of infection goes up. Which for babies? It's called Thrush sydell usually in their mouth, and for you, it'd be on your breast Antibiotics can do that. But you can also ask. I know being hooked up to an IV. If that's not part of your plan, you're positive doesn't sound fun. You can ask to have a HEP. Lock or a saline lock, and they just administer antibiotics every four hours, and then they can unhook you, so you can move around. So there's some really good news though. About the GPS if you are positive. If, you're GBS. Positive probiotics have shown to. Decrease. The GPS positive group so there was a study in Taiwan. Where they took everyone who? Had tested positive for group B. and they had a placebo group and the regular group and the Placebo Group they gave. Obviously a placebo pill to the other group. They gave antibiotics, too, and the group that are sorry, not antibiotics probiotics. They gave probiotics to the other group and they saw in the group who took probiotics within three weeks. Forty three percent of them tested negative so almost fifty percent of the people who took probiotics within three weeks tested. Negative and probiotics are also shown to. Decrease East infections. If you have a yeast infection, taking a good probiotic is really important and. Affecting, your babies gut microbiome. probiotics are really really good for that so if you're taking probiotics throughout your pregnancy. Your baby is getting. Some of that and you're helping develop that really good gut microbiome so then if you do have to have. Antibiotics if you are GBS positive. Your baby kind of has a little bit of a Head Start and by U, continuing to take them and breastfeeding that will help as well so although GBS can sound super. Scary. It's. They I mean. Not a lot of babies get a serious illness from especially, if treated with antibiotics, and then the probiotics are really great to. To combat the negative effects from the antibiotics, what was really cool in the study in Taiwan as well is that they took? Group B. Strep and put it in a petri dish with vaginal lactobacillus, which was probiotics and they saw that when they combined it. That the group B. Strep couldn't call didn't colonize as quickly or didn't call nines at all. So probiotics have a really positive impact on that. And I've been taking probiotics throughout. My whole pregnancy. In a little bit later I'm also going to talk about. One of my favorite products, which is. From the company, Global Healing and probiotics are super cost effective in absolutely amazing in the company's awesome, and there's a great discount for you guys if you want to check it out as well. So a lot about group B. Strep. Studying all of this I honestly. Didn't know about. Before all I knew is if you tested positive that you got innovates, and it can sound really intimidating scary, but. It's definitely something to have a conversation with your provider. About what if you do test positive are your options? Can you do a rapid test? If you're planning to take anything new such as a probiotic. Always check with your. Provider I. And talk to them about any other possibilities that. Or treatments that they recommend or that are out there for you. I know that this conversation about Groupie Strep as than so much fun and I guess that varies EXC-. But I I think it's important to have these conversations because a lot of people that I've talked to in pregnancy of just pinto, your positive. You GotTa get on antibiotics when you're in labor and that's it. There's like no other conversation or information there so. I think it's good just to be informed and educated, so you can go to your provider with questions and feel in quipped and empowered throughout your experience. We are going to take a quick break so I can talk to you about my favorite probiotic, which I was talking about in the Intro with gut health, and it is by global healing, which is a family owned and operated business since nineteen ninety eight. Are Vegan GMO, free gluten, friendly, ethically source packaged with recycled glass bottles and manufactured in one of the ECO friendliest facilities in the industry The ingredients have been trusted for decades for purity and potency with no binders, fillers or toxic compounds, which is so important. The probiotic I'm currently taking is lateral flora, and it is amazing. Help strengthen your gut supports your digestive system boost the immune system and. I have definitely seen a difference You guys can definitely check it out on their website. 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Mom and she is teaching people to live a life that you love on a budget that you can afford, so I think we all have some very valuable lessons to learn here today, so thank you so much. Go for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. I'd love for you to tell us. How did you become the budget? MOM, so the budget volume was really born out of my frustration and hardships with financial management. It was really born from my journey on learning how to budget my money and pay off debt but it was also a a learning journey so I actually created my first blog post for the budget. Mom just because I was going through the credited financial counseling designation and I. I was learning all this amazing stuff that I felt I needed to share with the world it. It really became a mission for me to help other single moms like Iwa, who was struggling financially and learning how to budget and save and pay off debt I think one of the main questions that went through my mind when I initially started the budget. Mom and even today is you know if there is one other thing on who felt? And feels like I. Did when I was struggling financially. If I could just help them, budget, mom and that's really where the budget mob started. Yeah and I know like a lot of people. Do feel that frustration because. I mean the majority of people have some sort of financial struggles, and it's so hard finding. A balance especially when you add like kids into the picture Sino like I'm about ready to have my first kid, and it's such a different mentality thinking okay like I pay my bills I can take care of myself, but then there's this baby coming into the world and I'm like Oh snap I like I. Like, take care of another human being and make sure that. We have some sort of financial preparedness for that situation. Yeah. It's funny because something happens to us when we become moms. We actually do a shift. We go from being selfish under. Who Self with unders? No in my circumstances, like before I had my son. I spent money on myself I. Spend money on myself to make myself healthy. Happy I spent money on myself. Remind meet. And then all the sudden. At least for me when I had my son and They become literally your entire world. It's like there's overwhelming I experience of responsibility. It's like that realization that. Is the human. Depends on you entirely and completely, and that can be a really overwhelming and a release, scary feeling, but for me it really was a motivational type factor in my life, and so yeah, we really do that shift where because someone else's needs and want are more important than our own. Our Shit. Our spending shift with that Yeah I mean that makes total sense. I I would love to know so. A lot of people come to for advice mostly MOMS. What is the biggest question that you get out? Do I start okay I think that's the biggest question that I get because. What happens? Is when you go online, and this is exactly what I experienced. And you try to find resources on how to be better your money. You are automatically fool. I did with all different types, not just information, but all different types of advice, all different types of information. You find yourself getting pulled in ten thousand different directions. And it's like okay well. Not only is learning all about your finances and what you have going on financially, and your life is overwhelming, but what to do with that information is overwhelming so the number. One question I get is Miko I. don't even know where to start. And I think that's a really great question that we get and I'm actually really glad that our number one question because it's the starting point, it's that I Beth you make to managing your finances. That's really really critical. Like just Stephen. Would you say like the desire to want to take that step why the realization that? A self realization that okay. I know air to be a change here. That's a really great step, but also when you're in that moment, and I know that they're coming to me for a reason. They're coming to me because they know there needs to be changed, but it also brings up my number one. F and financial advice, and that's discovering your y and purpose on this journey. It's it's. Realizing, okay I'm here and searching out this information I'm reaching out to someone because I need help. But the deeper question becomes will why. Am I speaking this information. There's a deeper meaning behind that. It's not just I WANNA get better with my finances. The reason you want to get better with your finances and I really challenged my readers to question that and embrace that. Yeah! We're GONNA take a quick break to talk about the stresses of becoming a new parent. 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That's really significant. It ties are emotions. And what we're feeling into our financial journey. And I'm a little bit different in the finance expert world that says you know, leave emotions out of it. Emotions should not be tied to your finances because it leads to some bigger problem I'm the opposite. I believe that emotion should be truly and fully embraced on this journey, and there's a couple of different factors into that, but one of them is emotion really. It really does I think drive so much of our spending decisions and the way that we manage our money, and it's not until we can truly embrace, understand and internalise our emotion that we can move forward with our financial decisions. Yeah. That makes sense I remember. I I'm certified life coach, and like part of that you do talk about like finances, and so many people have so many emotional blocks when it comes to money and it a lot of it if you keep digging. Comes down to their worth and their value in what they believe about themselves. Some of they believe about their lives and and kind of like stripping away old lies that you've been telling yourself so. Like what you're just describing brought that up for me, so I feel like. That does make perfect sense to have your emotions tied into it because it. Everyone has some sort of emotion when it comes to money. Right? So it's I, mean it's definitely he that's so. That's so crazy. So you talk a lot about like financial freedom. What is that? Financial Freedom. It's funny because it's kind of the blanket term in the financial world, but really it's very very personal. What financial mean freedom means to everybody is different. it has a lot to do with your financial values. it's it's part of that question What does money mean to me? Why is it important to me? That's GonNa lay an answering that question on these honestly is going to lay the foundation of your financial values, and eventually financial values are going to tell you what financial freedom looks like in your life. Well financial. Freedom for me and the reason. Why on my journey to give an example is? Wanting to Steve Opportunities with my son without relying on debt. When I envisioned my life and I think about my future. That is what financial freedom to me. It's the freedom of having choices options. and but I am sure that if you were to ask everyone else, financial freedom means to them. They're all GONNA. Give you different answers in that really does come back to our personal financial values. Yeah when you talk about like personal financial values, do you? Do you like break them down into categories or I? Guess, how do you? Find what someone's financial values are. All financial value is tied to many different things is how we were brought up. It's how the things that we learn about money. How we perceive money in the value and worth of things, or meave, you know. My financial values can really be described in three or four words so it the Curie. It's peace of mind. and. It's freedom. and I really think that when people are thinking about their financial values and really. Asking them that, so there's no question of what does money mean to me? And why is it important? I always challenge my readers to sit down with a piece of paper and start jotting down words that come to mind when they think about financial values or what money means to them. And all of a sudden you'll start to see people come up with a whole bunch of term. and then from there. It's really diving into what what each one of those words means to you, so I don't think it's necessarily categorizing It might just be a word at represents your financial value that then gets broken down into many different things. Yeah I'm going to have to do that later. I just wrote down. I'm like what does money mean to me now? I'm super curious. To dig down to it. Yeah, yeah, it's funny because. When we start these financial journeys. Or a debt payoff journey or a savings journey a lot of time. We're consumed with the numbers. we're thinking about okay. How much debt can I pay off this month? Right you're thinking about numbers. When really the purpose of our journeys isn't about how much debt you can pay off in the short amount of time or how much money you can save, it really comes down to a self discovery journey, and I'll be the first to admit. I learned more about myself. On my financial journey than I did in any other time in my life. It's because you are four. Ask yourself those hard questions. You have to learn and understand in love yourselves for there to be not just changed, but lasting change follows you into the future. Yeah. that makes that makes total sense all right. We're GONNA. Take a quick break, so I can tell you about Wayne. 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Mamas and I would love to hear what your favorite product is. Ny Now, let's get back to the show. Like I said like I feel like so many people have. A lot of there is a lot of emotion around money so like digging into that and finding your values I feel like you. You'd have to learn to love yourself and half to. You would just learn more about yourself. Because whether you like it or not like. Money is a huge part of our life. So that's how we live. We can't live in this country without it, so there's a need for it. But then it's so many people are bound by it and in financial debt. So. I'm yeah. I'm super I'm super. Curious to dig into like what money does mean to me like open that portal? You know not only in you don't. Money, I think money is is so much for so many people, but it really comes down to I know I discovered a new level of contentment. Ingratitude in my life when I started really. Digging into those hard questions i. You know it took me almost three years to say out loud. I'm spending my money carelessly in the wrong way because I don't love myself. I don't like the way that I look and I'm not comfortable in my own skin. And saying that out loud now may seem like a really easy thing to do, but it was extremely hard for to admit that to myself. No one wants to come out and say I. Don't Love Myself I. Don't like the way I look. I don't like these certain things about myself and for me, my spending I was overcompensating for those negative internal feelings I was out blowing my money on clothes and tanning salons in getting my nails done and getting my hair done to look a certain way. When, still on the inside, I was still screaming. I was so broken. And that's what I'm saying to make lasting change. You have to fix what's broken on the inside. As well. Yeah Yeah. I I love how you said that because I feel like. I. I don't again like money's just tied to so much, and you don't think about it. Right, you don't think. That you need money to fill those things like subconsciously you dukes. That's what you're. That's where you're putting it into great Yeah man, that's good stuff. So I was reading so I back in the day, so I worked in the service industry for a really long time, so I'd make cash tips. And, it always divide my cash into envelopes and would budget my money that way, but I haven't made I mean I. Definitely. Miss Making those cash tips I. Don't make them anymore so I use a credit card, but my husband and I have talked a lot about doing the cash again because we're trying to. Just budget in certain areas of our life, but my hesitancy is like. I think I said that word wrong has has the ten. Where I'm hesitant. Like I like the credit card points because we get rewards with them, and but I know that we would save money. The cash slopes. So how what would you say to someone like me so there? That's the question of trade off. So of course now I'm also very different I. Don't think credit cards are bad. I think that if you can use them responsibly and pay them off every month and get those rewards, points go at it, but you better make sure no yourself and be honest with yourself that you're actually going to pay them off, that said. there. There's trade off. You know. You'RE GONNA save more money if you use cash. but the trade off is you're GONNA have to get rid of the rewards points that you're currently getting by using your credit card. So it's a matter of looking at what's going to save you more. Are you going to save more by getting the rewards points, or are you going to save more by not? Spending on your credit card and only going back to being an all cash spender. And you have to be okay with those trade offs. I think to it comes down to. have it. A lot of the time I see people who do use their credit card responsibly and all of a sudden they make huge financial shift where they go from swiping a card, which is a? It's a daily habit that's not recognized, but it is a habit and then they can go to being an all cash bender, raking not chain, and and breaking not have it and making that huge financial shift in your finances to might be hard to some. so you have to think about okay in the tradeoff were. Me Breaking this habit and going into. In developing a new one essentially. Yeah. No that makes sense. Yeah, I I mean I'd have to look into it but I. I feel like that's. Good Advice. There yeah I would see how many rewards points. What exactly are you getting a using your credit card every month? Like you are now right versus. Maybe you do a trial run. Maybe you go back to an cast bender for a couple of months. What was your progress and then compare the two? has to be something that something. That's visible in realistic in our lives, I think that once you really pinpoint those rewards and those benefits versus the trade off they answer is going to be really clear Yeah, well, that kind of leads me to my next question because. My husband says I spend too much on groceries. which is a really common I? Mean everybody I talked to all. That's a conversation in my house. Every single week is you spend too much on groceries and I? Really Value Health and eating healthy food, and it's really important to me, and so we've talked about like maybe I, just go back to the cash envelopes for groceries and budget that way because that's where that's where our budget is lake. A, little out of control. But. How do you like I know the groceries? It's such a big thing for so many people. So how do you like? How have that conversation with people when they're asking you about their grocery budget, the funny thing about the grocery budget I call it the silent killer finances. because. It is number one problem area for a lot of different families, a lot of different individuals the reason is is because we view food as a necessity right. It's a necessity for us to live with that though it quickly turns into you want I. Don't know if you've ever been at the store and you're like you. Catch yourself throwing random stuff here cart. All the fun shifts from being in assessing into a want. and for you going back to your cash envelope and only doing one category in your budget i. think that's fantastic. That's a great starting point. It's a great way for you to test the water. What happened to your food budget when you went back to cash, would there noticeable change? Did you ask yourself harder questions, or did you become aware of? Maybe some spending triggers that you weren't aware of when you were using your credit card. i. also think that when you are health conscious. I think that. Being able to. Decrease. Other areas of your life to incorporate that being a passion of yours. But. There has to be competent There has to be some type of compensating in your budget, right. So and and not only that there have to be even if you are health conscious, there has to be a limit. To what you're allowed to spend or what? You can realistically spend your budget every single month, I would start if if you're coming to me and ask me that question I would start using a cash envelope. Crema budget with what you're realistically spending today. And then next month if you stick to that by the challenge yourself to decrease that budget by fifty dollars. Do it in really small increment. Because the last thing that I want people to do is create these you know. Big Huge giant giant ormuz goals, and then not meet them because the goal that they set up ins begin with wasn't realistic. and that's a lot of the time while why financial gold can be really frustrating and can feel really defeating is because we're setting ourselves up to fail from the very beginning. So, that's why I talk about small increment changes to our food budget, I always recommend a cash envelope for your food budget as well as meal planning on I know for a lot of my health, conscious readers meal, prepping and meal planning where they can buy things in bulk really helps them a lot with their with their food limit and their food budget that they are spending, but there's many many different things from you know different options for buying organic scrum generic to big box brands on. There are a lot of things that even being health conscious can still save you money. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I know it's. It's definitely one of those things, but. Again from going like from making good money and being single like I used to only shop it like whole foods and now. Like, I switched job industries and don't make as much money as they used to. And feeding a grown man is like feeding four teenagers. I. Don't know what this guy. So much so my grocery budget like you know and I still feel like I'm trying to find that balance because. There's the way I'm used to eating and obviously like I want to take care of my family and I want him to be healthy. I WANT WANNA. Buy Healthy things, and just like even learning what for as important to buy organic and what I don't have to, and what you still just kind of. Like some stores like I used to only go to certain stores, and I just realized like. I was actually during this Whole, pandemic thing I was ordering groceries online at a grocery store and I filled out the cart, and then they said that it wouldn't be delivered for like two weeks, and so I filled out the exact same items in another car at another grocery store, and it was twenty dollars cheaper and I always meant that this other grocery store was more expensive than the other one for some reason and I was like holy crap, so I ended up doing that with like three or four different stores just to compare. And, I'm like these prices vary so much, but it's a lot of work to put in to like drive to the store for that thing and that store for the other thing you know. Yeah, it is yeah, and that's. That's a really great first step though is the cell. Is The price comparing in in kind of breaking our our mindset of? Breaking that Shell of Oh? I thought that store was cheaper, but it's actually not, and that's why and I always tell my readers Dupree's comparisons before shopping. At that time they can really make. The decision is of is my time more valuable than the money I'm actually going to save because like you said, running around to eight different stores and spending all afternoon, trying to pick up all the groceries, but you need for one grocery hall. That can be really time consuming as well. Yeah Yeah for sure. Yeah, I know I need to I'm that said I have to go back to cash for groceries. We are going to take a quick break to talk about how it has been a year y'all it has been such a crazy year and I'm so glad that it's summer, and it's a little bit warmer outside, and the weather's a little better, but. I feel like so many people have gone through so much this year and there is. A resource that can help if you WANNA talk to anybody, it is safe private in an online environment. It's so convenient you can start communicating with someone and under twenty four hours, and that is better help better help. We'll assess your needs. 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Testimonials posted daily on their site. And we have a great offer for you guys. If you WANNA start living a happier life today as the listener, you'll get ten percent off your first month by visiting. Better help dot com slash Mama's join over eight hundred thousand people taking charge of their mental health again. That's better help. H. E. L. P.. Dot Com slash Mama's now back to the episode. So another thing that I guess I've. I've heard a lot of people. I talk about is like kind of spending what you can versus what you think you're supposed to so like. Let's say I have a five year old child and my friend has a five year old child will he got my kid a fifty dollar gift for his birthday and so I feel like I have to get him a fifty dollar gift for his birthday, but I. If I can't get you know that's not in my budget. I don't spend fifty dollars on a five-year-old's birthday, but then right, you've feel bad. You know because this kid got like they always spend that on your kid or whatever so how do you? I guess? Mentally. Tell yourself that it's okay if going to take time especially as MOMS especially when it comes to our children, but learning to say no or learning to say you know what. I'm on a different part of my journey than he is. But let's keep in mind here. We, don't know if your friend and how they paid for that item. We don't know if he's out racking up his credit card. get that fifty dollar gift, or whether he did it and paid cash. We don't know what happens behind closed doors. Which is why so important that we don't compare? It's a matter of being proud of what you're doing with your finances to be able to tell yourself you know what? I'm no I can't afford this. And I refused to go into debt or put my finances in jeopardy do that. You have to be confident in. Have that confidence in the progress. You're making with your finances and be really proud of that and I think once you get to that point and you embrace that it makes it a lot a lot easier. Now. I struggle with this as a mom. And I did the thing not with presence, but I saw other moms providing their children's certain things. Right either expensive vacations or really nice clothes, or you know really like top brand, mean close or whatever it may be I found myself. I'm not doing that. I can't do that. But it was really they show up. It doesn't make me any less of a mom. Yeah. It just means I'm I'm on a different on a different step in my journey. And and I have to embrace the work. I have to do to get to where I want to go to provide the life, I want with my child. And I think you really have to get to that state. Yeah. yeah, I feel like it's so hard though because. I was introduced more to it. my husband comes from a big Italian family, and that's like a big thing to them like if somebody gives you like a birthday card for your kid with this much in it, you give that exact same amount back and I. Always have those conversations with him because we're. We're having a kid and we don't make tons of money, and we're revamping remodeling our house right now and and I'm like. We can't afford to give every single cousin in your family. This much money like that's ridiculous like to me. It's ridiculous, but to him. It's what you have to do, and it's like it's not breaking the bank, but at the same time. I'm like I don't get it. Right right. Well, I think too. When especially when that's a really interesting dynamic, because you know, you are thinking and feeling this way while you're hugging. It's what it's not only what he feels what it's what he knows right what they've always done in his family and I think at that time. It's a great opportunity to start the conversation of. Hey, you know this is how I'm feeling about that, I. I understand it's what you've always done, but these are my ceiling. Can we find some type of middle ground? There some type of middle ground where we can find where your happy and I'm happy, but it really comes down to. What can you realistically afford? Yeah. And what are you giving up in the future to spend that money now? And it has those questions has to be at answered during that conversation. Look if we spend. And what I would do I would literally list out every single birthday hall every single birthday I had to celebrate in the money that. You know an estimate of what I would have to give and I. would say look if we're spending this every year in birthday money. This is what we're giving up to do that. Are we okay with that. Yeah. No that makes sense. and and kind of leading into the next thing, then like saving up for large purchases so right at the end of the year. That could be like. For me I like experiences, so my husband's like. Do you want to push president? I'm like. Do Something Nice for me like. I I would rather for my birthday have him take me out for a nice dinner. Then by anything or just plan something awful. It doesn't even have to like. Costs Money, but but you do realize like spending these. Little things along the way. Add up so how I guess, do you? Okay we are. Barely, getting by, or we're getting by like we live comfortably. But how do we save up for the large purchases like vacations or Christmas or whatever the family considers like? A big event that they're going to put money like for me I guess a baby shower is coming up right and. So like how do you? Save toward those things when especially when you're trying to budget everything else in your life, so the biggest one of the biggest Aha moments for me on my financial journey was incorporating sinking fund into my budget. Now! Thinking funds are financial goals that we want to obtain in the future. Are, really hard to hey for the entire whatever it may be up front with one paycheck. The what we do is we set aside a little bit every single month. Towards that goal or that event or that holiday Christmas is the perfect example. Christmas is. Is that time of year where people are using and going into debt like no other time in the year it's insane. But what? They don't realize that if they would have started saving for Christmas in January. A little bit every month. That would have helped him tremendously by the time Christmas actually rolled around. They wanted to start buying guest. Christians have been thinking fun for me since I started my financial journey and learn about thinking funds and I'll tell you what it was a life changer. It was A. Huge for me, because. That stress anxiety and worry that we feel. Dot those emotions take away so much of what the holiday event is all about right like Christmas it's such a joyous time of the year where we're supposed to be celebrating and being with their friends and our family and doing all the Christmas traditions and everything that Christmas encompasses. But what happens a lot of time is that's over. Shouted shadowed by our feelings of guilt. Our feelings of stress thinking. Oh my Gosh, how am I GONNA? Pay Off that I just bought. With thinking funds, it's peace of mind. And truly being able to embrace those things in our lives without having to worry about money, though I always say for things like that created thinking fun, come up with the goal amount that you want to save for divided by the number of months you WanNa save that that aside a bit every month. Look at your at your budget. Can you realistically do that or do? You have to Kinda decrease that goal a little bit. But either way you're taking on Angel- steps to be prepared for the future Yeah? That makes total sense whenever we have extra money. I'm always like. Put it toward a vacation and my husband's like invest it. So which I'm really really glad so he he's much more of the I mean. I've always been decent with my money. But I've been really big on like. I'm not a fan of debt and like living debt free. And stuff like that, but. But especially like being single throughout my twenty s whenever I had money. Like I'm going to go travel I'm going to go. Do whatever I want right? and. My husband's very like financially plan for the future like he adjusts our budget so that. We invest a lot monthly. So that, basically, there's like nothing left rate which I'm thankful for example like cool. We'll be able to retire, but then I'm also like we could be dead. Why don't we go on vacation? Thankful for his planning, but I'm like the. Let's take a trade. League. Sorry Oh, that's okay. Toby Okay where House Dog. You can edit that out I absolutely Kellyanne yeah. But yeah, I'm like blood's take a trip. You know so like. How do you I guess? Find those balances in? If it's you know in your family. Because I think for me. I guess like I think it is important to invest in. Have something in your future. But it's also like I said I really value experiences, so it's important for me to experience life together. That's like. I. Don't know what what I love is like experiencing life with people and doing things and experiencing new things. So how do you like? Balanced fat there has. There has to definitely be balanced. There has to be balanced between. Freedom in your life and the ability to still do the things that bring you happiness because if we were always always just about, save save debt that. Build, wealth, build wealth. What I found and what happened to me on my journey, when especially when paying that as we forget all the things that truly bring us joy and happiness in our lives, and then all of a sudden we forget. Why are we even on this journey in the first place? So there has to be balanced. It's great that your husband wants to invest invest, and and really build this generational well, but at the same time. It's great because you are saying you know what life can be gone by tomorrow. I WANNA. Make sure that we take the opportunity to fully enjoy those moments and opportunities in our lives. I think that's the conversation that needs to be. Be between you and your husband of where is that balance for us? Okay? Can we maybe invest? You know sixty percent. The other percent is invested in. You know our lives and the things that we enjoy doing and really experiencing the short life we have now. There definitely has to be some type of balance between that and our and our financial journeys. Yeah Yeah for sure. So another thing that we've. Had A. Lot of conversations with and I've heard from like moms and our facebook to is. Like how to save money when you're having a baby, because everyone says. They cost a lot more than you think that they do Budgeting for what you really need because I've already noticed. That 'cause we got a lot of hand-me-downs, which I'm so grateful for. His. Brother and sister both live here and they saved some stuff for us, so we were able to get a lot of stuff from them. Which is awesome? I'm a huge fan of of hammy downs. But I'm already noticing. It's so much stuff I'm like this baby isn't even born yet, and we have so much stuff like how and it's not even everything that we quote unquote need yet, so it's like how do you? figure out even what you really need and budget for that. And try to save money having a baby, so what I did when I I was in the same boat, I have only one son, so he was my first child. I had no idea what I was doing. The on it I have no idea I'm and it was at the same time that I was still learning how to budget my money. What I did is I sat down and wrote a West look I know, I know we're not even talking about once I'm talking about this. I know I need. I need these things okay I'm I'm GonNa Need Formula I'm GonNa need diapers. I'M GONNA need. You know this this and this myth and and those needs to are very different based on the individual. You're talking to because some people say I need cloth diapers. Where some people say no. I just need some pampers. So think too that it it comes down to. What you not. It comes down to what because there's different things in different directions even go with the things that you need. But ultimately it's a matter of just sitting down listing out, and you know what I did. I actually went onto stores website. And I'm like okay. A box of diapers me this. And I'm researching and I'm reading that I'm probably going to need to boxes a month for this. Especially, when my son was a newborn I would factor that in and the great thing is as people get so scared away from doing their budget because they don't know I don't like I. Don't know what it's going to be. This is just what I'm estimating. So, what's the point of even doing it? But the great thing is having that starting point in the beginning. You could always tweak and change your budget as you go along the more that you learn about. What you know, what having a baby entails, but I think it's really that starting point of just doing the research sitting down and talking with your spouse or your partner or figuring out what exactly is it that I need and go from there? Yeah. Yeah I. Guess Yeah, even factoring in that those monthly cost that. You don't even really think about right, and it's not it's. It's you know not only the the monthly thing, but you have to start thinking okay about medical insurance Right there's new new baby on board and we're going to have to get medical insurance and we're going to have to get dental for them, and we're GONNA. Have you know on top of clothes on top of and for the first couple of years? It's a different experience, but. Pile gets older than exports. It's extra curricular school activities and then abandoned. You know. My son, my son is does the UKULELE. School and I would've never thought they would ever be school expenses with that, but there is, and you know then there's he does soccer and all that all these things. It's OK. To have a starting place that you don't that it may not be one hundred percent accurate, but at least at the starting place for you to actually tweak and perfect. And I will tell you right now. Your budget is going to change. It will not be the same food. Costs are going to be more health. Costs are going to be more. There's going to be certain things in your budget, and so you'll be able to learn that, but it's important to get that down on paper. So you can really show in. See the evolution over time on how your budget is progressing. Yeah. Yeah I didn't even really think about like. Planning the baby budget before the baby gets here I'm like well. We'll have the baby in just kind of see how much it costs. No Yeah, I would definitely start with an estimate acuity especially if you're like me and you're a working mom. Then there's daycare costs involved as well and that was my biggest struggle. It's like Oh, my gosh. How am I going to work in this huge expense? Literally half of my rent payment. Yeah, into the budget and I had to cut in other areas. It's really important that we have a foundation that we can work with now because asked what you're gonNA need to change in tweak as we go. Yeah Yeah, for sure I would love for you to just touch on the stuff that you offer to your followers. How are you helping moms out right now, but we have. We focused a lot on free content you know I started the budget mom to really connect with other single MOMS. and I understand that and I know that not being able to afford the financial resources that can truly change. Your life is a big thing. and it can make you know. This journey a lot harder, so we focus a lot on free content, and you can find our an entire free resource library on the budget. Mom Dot Com. It's just filled with a ton of principles and tools and resources to help you get started. or you can follow are detailed. On Youtube. And I do daily stories an update I? Share my real numbers with my readers every day over on instagram. Awesome and where can people find you instagram? It's just the budget, mom, the budget mom across all social media channels yeah awesome. Thank you so much for coming on and. Sharing with us, I know I I was taking notes while you were talking of like all the conversations I need to have with my husband and all the things I need to do. Not like okay, we're GONNA. Talk about this. We're going to do this but yeah I mean. I know that time is very valuable and I'm just so grateful for you coming on and sharing all of this information I think. You know working toward being debt free is there is such a freedom that comes with that for families and for their futures so. I love having these conversations and being able to to talk with people who are actually doing it. Yeah, yeah, no, thank you so much for having me. All right everybody, thank you so much for listening. I love the conversation with her I definitely need to move to cash envelopes for groceries. Try to get that lockdown. Food is expensive though it's. It's definitely. If you WANNA, try to eat, help the. It doesn't make sense. It's like the healthier you wanna eat the more expensive it is. It's all backwards, but I need to be on a budget I. Sure and I want to get that down in the next couple of months before I. Pop this out. If you guys are listening and you're not subscribing sure that you subscribe and leave us a review and tell us why you are loving the podcast. Share this with somebody who you know would love it or wants to be part of our community. Join US I in our facebook. Community at Miraculous Mama's on facebook. Our instagram and twitter or more OCULUS, Mama's always post stuff up on their about guests and the miraculous Mama's blog as well where I share my week. tweak pregnancy. All sorts of other Mama. Blogs and there's information about the podcast on there as well. I love you guys so much. And I'm excited to continue. On this journey with you I'm having so much fun learning lately and diving into different. Topics and talking to Different MOMS and Education and all of it, it's so much fun. And next week we are going to be talking to a mom about traveling I know that this years summer plans have probably had a damper on for most people but. We are going to talk to Monet. Who has taken her kids around the world? And yet they're still in school fulltime. They work jobs and she's GonNa. Tell us how they do it. Because that's definitely something that I'm interested in I love to travel and I. Really Hope to be able to take. Take my kids with me some day and not have to. You know there's some things you have to give up absolutely but. I'd love to still be able to explore the world and do all of that so. I will hear. From, you guys next week I love you. Stay safe.