164 - The Kurt Vonnegut Special
Dear hankins, John is supported by wealth front where automated planning and investing are made easy wealth front puts your money to work automatically with a diversified portfolio of low cost index funds. Get your first five thousand dollars managed for free when you sign up for an investment account at wealth front dot com slash Hank. And John, of course, like with any investment there is a risk of losses from investments in securities. Listener supported w in Y studios. And welcome to a very special edition of deer hanging. John prefer to call it. Dear John and Hank. Why why is this a special edition? I just decided it was cast. Yes. Brothers answer your questions. Give you advice and bring you all the weeks from both Mars and as C Wimbledon, John. Yeah. Sometimes when Catherine and I go into buildings. I'll take the stairs. And she'll take the elevator. Do you think that is? I don't know. Why is that Hank? I don't really know either. I guess we were just raised differently. Oh god. I mean, I never I never see it coming. Also do not enjoy it when it arrives. So I guess that's a successful dad joke. I have such good news for you. Which is that just today, and I'll remind you the day is not even over yet. Just today. Two hundred twenty thousand five hundred nineteen babies have been born. Oh. One of them is cute. That's where it's like the city of Columbus, Ohio, but populated entirely by babies. Just tiny little babies who literally you look at those babies, and you say, well what's wrong with you were you born yesterday. And they're like, no, no, no. You don't understand, sir? I was born today. And that's just the human babies. We're not even counting the puppies. That's where I think there are so many babies in the world. And if that doesn't give you hope I don't know. What will I kept thinking this morning? We have to make the world better for all of these babies a. Yeah, John, I think that's one of the big reasons why we are as a species build things instead of destroying things because we're going to make life better for the baby's John. Do you want to make life better for some of our listeners, yank do you think there's any like newborn babies listening to the pond right now if so welcome to the world, baby. What's up, you cool babies? That's a different podcastone. It's much better podcast, technically. It reminds me of a great quote from Kurt Vonnegut, Hank. Hello babies. Welcome to earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded on the outside babies you've got one hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of babies God, it you've got to be kind. Sorry for cursing. All right, John this first question comes from. Lauren who asks that important question regarding the structure of deer hankins, John? So let's get that one out of the way deer hanging. John. Do you script episodes of the pond or completely wing it sense and sensibility, Lauren? The sound scripted. It's completely scripted. We we wrote out all of the baby stuff. Yeah. That was the great detail. Yeah. John didn't John didn't spend twenty minutes. Just now trying to get that Kurt Vonnegut quote to load. So he could get it. Right. No, absolutely. Not that was written down beforehand. A how is good reads a website owned by Amazon, but still so slow? It works fine. For me. I think it's your terrible internet at your office. We do for an internet video company, we have some bad internet. Yeah. We don't script anything we do usually make some notes about a few of the questions, especially if the questions are hard. And we're worried about how we're going to answer them. But no we rely upon a little something called serendipity magic just brotherly magic. That's right. It's all it's all magic here. Whoa. Quality magic. Yeah. Not saying magic doesn't have to be great. Nope. Not bad magic in the world. I would say almost all magic is bad event. Well, then that would line you right up with all the people in the seventeenth century, John? I'm totally with them whenever I see a magician and the magician really tricks me like I saw David Blaine performed once. And at first I was like, that's very impressive that trickery. And then I was like we need to burn this witch. Ms it too soon to from the seventeenth century. Yeah. Maybe I don't know that it's definitely the patriarchy still exists John that hasn't gone away. There's no question about that. But I wouldn't argue that David Blaine is going to take down. I don't know he seems to be capable of a lot. The other thing about David Boon's performances that while he was. Just remembering this I'm sorry while he was like immersed in a large tank of water for nine minutes extensively setting the world record for number of minutes. A person has held their breath. There was like a cocktail party going on in this event that I was at and so everybody was just sort of chatting amiably, well, David blades hype man was trying to get people to pay attention to the fact that David Blaine was stuck inside of a water-filled container. Oh 'cause like he was in there for seventeen minutes. This is the fact that I know don't ask me why. Whether or not it's a trick. That's. Listen, I disregard that. But like the thing is seventeen minutes is just a long time for nothing to happen. Even if that nothing is like a man not dying in a situation where he should is just like other Benchley. I'm like, I need some cheese. Yeah. Like, this is kind of boring. Yeah. Exactly. It got a little the levitated or something like do some magic. Right. Sometimes David Blaine magic, I feel a little bit. Like, I'm watching an Andy Warhol movie. Like, I get that this is a proper art and everything, but I like it when events occur. But anyway to the question, we do read all the questions beforehand. I try to have something in my brain. That's like, oh, I have something that I could say about that question. And then we we market two different colors for for when Hank lakes at John likes it. And then we tend to answer the ones that both Hank Cam John liked. That's right. That's exactly John. Did you know that this week we received our fifty thousand question in the box? Wow. L and we've answered like six hundred I know, I know feel bad about it. Thanks everybody for sending those in. We need great questions to make good podcast. So thank you for sending them in. If you want a little bit of question advice. I'm here to give it shorter questions. It does tend to be better when the questions are shorter. And sometimes we actually end up editing them a little bit. Sorry. Two people who've done that to. All right. This next question comes from Elwin who writes, dear John and Hank. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out next week. And the dental office called to remind me of my appointment, obviously, I didn't pick up the phone and let it go to voicemail because I'm an auto taco gen Z introverted they left. A message reminding me of my appointment and asked me to call back to confirm it do I really have to call back. This has been booked for weeks. So it's not like they're going to cancel just because they don't call back to confirm soon to be lacking wisdom win. I mean, maybe it's good practice Ellen. You've got to learn how to make phone calls. It's so important that. We talk to each other that we that. You know that like the weird thing is it gets harder the more you don't do it. But I think it's really bad for us. Not to talk to each other. Yeah. It's so in this situation. There's there's two things I'd say the first one is just like, maybe this is like good practice phone call because you know, exactly how the phone calls gonna go. There is no unexpected left turn that it could take. So so it's a it's a safe one. The second thing is like I don't really know how dental offices work. But I assume that since they're asking it's going to make this person's life easier. If you make the phone call and so on. That situation. I try to make the versuns- life easier. If it's not, you know, if it's something that I can do for them. Yeah. And I totally agree with that. But I also think that it might in some small way Ella win help reduce the overall amount of loneliness in the world, you'd reminds me of another occurred Vonnegut. Are you did you load it already? It's a very special Kurt Vonnegut. That's why that's why it's such a special episode, John. I knew that there would be something. Yes. It's the Kurt Vonnegut special Vonnegut once wrote what should young people do with their lives today. Many things obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured. Oh, he wrote that in the nineteen thousand nine hundred. But I think that is really really true for. Yeah. I think that comes down to a kind of like a signal of appreciation for the work that this other person is doing and and so hopefully, you know, if like if it is an insurmountable obstacle. It is an insurmountable obstacle. But but I think everyone involved would appreciate it. If if if the phone call was made John also, I don't know if you know this I used to really not like getting poked with needles, and then I had to go get poked with needles every week. For six weeks, and then for the rest of my life, every every three months, and now it's not a big deal. So that's about phone calls. Yeah. It's so true. It's so true. The first time you make a phone call to the dentist. It's so stressful. Now, I know the people in my dentist office so much that when I call they just pick up and say, hey, John, what's up? Yeah. I mean, I I have gone from being a person who was scared to order food at Wendy's to being a person who like has a reporter with the person at Wendy's. Who hasn't been I'm going to submit that your report with person at Wendy's is not as good as you believe it to be. We just have very friendly fast food workers in Missoula, John. Yeah. No, you're now the old man who goes up to to the person at Wendy's. And they're like take your order and your link yet. But before you take my order, let me tell you about something that happened to me early. No. That's not me. All right. What's the next question? It's question comes from Emily who asks dear Hanke, John. I'm applying for summer, internships and some job applications ask for my desired rate of pay or desired salary as an engineering intern. I know I should be paid more than minimum wage, but as a millennial slash gen zero. I'm twenty years old. You're solidly Jansy, my friend. I just want a job, and I'm happy to ask for what I could get how much money should I ask for insert creative sign off, Emily. Emily. This is so much easier now than it used to be. It's still really hard, of course. But it used to be like basically impossible. But now, you can go to websites like glass door, and you can just kind of Google around and get a sense of what the starting pay is for companies like the company that you're applying to for jobs like the one that you're going to have. Yeah. And I also think this is such a weird like how much would you like to get paid? And it's like the maximum amount. Like how much do you have? You have. Right. I would like to get paid one hundred percent of what you had budgeted for this position. I would like to be paid five hundred thousand dollars an hour. Is that an option, right? Let's go. She eight down from there that maybe that's what you should do. I remember I might have told this story before on the bud. But the very first time I got a fulltime job, my boss, the person who's going to be my boss wrote a number down on a piece of paper. Literally folded the piece of paper and slid it across the table to me. And then I unfolded the piece of paper, and I was not able to contain my shock glee, and like overwhelming joy when I saw twenty seven thousand five hundred on that piece of paper, and like all ability I had to negotiate my salary completely out the window. And I was just like a. Yeah of yes. It was a different time. But also just had few. I didn't have many needs. But yeah, I think you've got a Google she'll go I think it's such a I think it's such a weird question to ask I feel like you should there should be a rate that you get paid. I don't know what the goal of that question is. But you can either put the number that you Google or you can just say, you could just tongue in cheek it and be like, whatever you got friends. Yeah. That's a good way to get a job. What you got buddy? Salary expectations. I gotta look in the eye and see what you got before. I can tell you look show me your balance sheets, I need to see the the business. How much you got how you doing? And I can figure out how much how much value I can add. And then just you know, subtract twenty twenty percent from that. And you've got my salary friends. That's not a bad strategy actually to be like instead of telling you my salary expectations. Let me tell you my revenue generation expectations. I spanked back to generate one hundred forty thousand dollars of revenue for your company. And so I expect to be paid twenty percent less than that. It's good. I love that. You're getting the good old margin on me is solid margin. My friends minds me of a great quote by Kurt Vonnegut. From his wonderful novel mother night. We are what we pretend to be. So we must be very careful about what we pretend to be. You've got to pretend to be an expert in salary negotiation in this situation. You know, John that Kurt Vonnegut quote reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut, quote, anything can make me stop. And look in wonder and sometimes learn that that reads like you've never read occurred on get novel and not just Google Kurt Vonnegut quote. I don't even I've never read that one. I'm not sure it's real. At also also attributed to Mark Twain, and Michael Scott. That's it might be a Wayne Gretzky, quote, John. I don't know. All writing this next question comes from Samantha who writes, dear John and Hank. How do I open an Email when I'm writing to to people of equal importance without insulting one or the other? I'm double majoring, and I need to write an Email to both of my advisors, but don't want to write two separate emails. Do I put the adviser for the major? I like better. I or do I put the oldest one. I as a show of respect, obviously, not deer hankins. John. Do I put the one I that will likely have more to say, obviously, not deer hanging John go alphabetically, arguably how can I naming either of them without it sounding weird and stilted? Also when you get an Email that has the other brothers name. I are you insulted. Not a witch but named for one. Samantha john. Yeah. So I think that this question is probably best answered with the Kurt Vonnegut quote. I know I know make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it man, savannah. You are clumsy at being impolite. Yes. Samantha there's only two kinds of people in this world people who don't care whether their name is I in a list of two names and bad people. There's also two other kinds of people in the world. There are people who really think far too much about whether they're being rude and rude people. So you are at least one of those other people, you're at least you're thinking way too much about how to be polite, and you need to step back a little bit and take care of yourself. But that is such a good point hang people who don't think too much about being polite are so impolite. So there's some value to being a little too careful. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what you were doing in this case do not just like if it's something that's gonna bother you alphabetize it. And then if if it ever comes back at you, which it will not but in your in your like while you're laying awake at night worrying about it. Coming back at you. You can be like, oh, I just did it off a better cly, and I go, okay. We accept. Yeah. No. But I I can't imagine that anyone else in the world ever has worried about this. It seems like such an edge case. One of your advisers would Email you back and be like, why did you put professor Rosenstein before me like what the actual heck, do you not vow? You poetry. Sorry, this alphabetical. Yeah. Exactly. So. Yeah. Go with the alphabet unless it's your addressing brothers in which case oldest first youngest last. You should go by salary. You should go by how much they're being paid at their jobs. You have to Email them. I like, look I'm sending you both an Email. I I need to know what your salary is. In that case. It definitely is to your hand can John. It's not. Yeah. It is. I Sal ary at complexly yours because you work very much. I know I report to you. Thank is my boss. It's so much better than when I didn't have a boss because now when I have a problem, I can just call Hank. It's great. And then I called you. I cannot recommend having a boss enough the years. I didn't have a boss. We're just it was full of tremendous mistakes. All right, John this next question comes from Kizu who asks steer Hencke, John. My name is Q and I used to work at a company that does over the phone surveys. I used to call over to Canada in the US and think about what I'd say if I called one of my favorite YouTubers. My question is would you have done the survey if I called you Jay wvu drei? Tay Don, a Bouzo Dicky's zoo, which Catherine translated for me, and it means I would like to give you a kiss Kizu. But it rhymes instead of that. Oh, well, it didn't rhyme. When you read it. But to be there that did not sound like French. John. I would not have answered the question if I had answered the phone, I probably would not have done this. I the last time I did a survey over the phone was like maybe two thousand one when somebody called me and asked me a bunch of questions, and it went on for really long time. Right. That's the problem with phone surveys. Is that once you start? It's almost impossible to get out. The only I do when people call me about political candidates. I do answer. And I tell them who I'm going to vote for. Although I will say one time I got a call and it was from pollster. But it was not usually they're like automated, and I don't mind answering most. But this was not an automated one it was a person, and they asked me who I was going to vote for like Senate or something. And then their second question was are you the author, and I was like well now, you you can you information about me like, you know, who I'm voting for for Senate. Senator. And so I always like, let's there no training that went into not a ton of it. So I was like, no, I'm not the author. But I get that. Sometimes. Not the author. I do sound exactly like the youtuber. But. Tuber? Yeah. He's my brother. I'm a different Joan as you of us. It's like George Foreman's kids. So you do answer those those I don't even answer the phone if I don't recognize the phone number anymore. I answer the phone. I don't recognize the phone number. But only because I've only put about twelve people into my phone after having it for nine years. So your phone just doesn't know very many phone numbers. Yeah. If my thirteenth best friend calls. I I don't have them in my phone. So I've got to answer in case. It's them. Boy. I tell you what I got a lot of numbers in my phone job. Got like my best friends in Ilan. Mosque. Did you? Did you text him when he was having his little his little bit of trouble? I didn't text him. No figured was thinking to myself what I want some Rando who had my phone number to text me. And the answer was no, yeah. Probably the right call. It reminds me of a great Kurt Vonnegut, quote, Hank from his novel slapstick. Okay. If you can do no good at least do no harm. Oh, that's good. John or take this next. Question comes from Thomas you rates. Dear John and Hank. I'm an eighth grade. Boy, and I have a crush on another boy in my grade like I have had the largest crush on him for almost a year. Now, I used to be able to talk to him, but this year, I don't have any classes with him in my anxiety has risen I have so much anxiety around him that when I have to go to my class. I'll go down a hallway that takes longer for me to get to my next class just to avoid making eye contact with him. I would really like to have a boyfriend. However, the thought of trying to talk to him gives me so much anxiety when I talked to him and get sweaty. And I can't breathe, and I can't formulate sentences guys have any advice for how they can talk to him without completely panicking. Thomas. I don't I don't I don't know how to handle the I I remember it Thomas. I do remember that that those moments in that feeling and I don't know what to do. I don't know. What to do? It's so weird how you can talk to someone until you realize you like them. And then suddenly you can't talk to them. Yeah. Thomas, I think potentially this might be like making phone calls or getting shots that the more. You do it. The better you'll get at it. Like the first time you walk down the hallway past this person is going to make you super nervous. And you're definitely going to have the sweaty palms. And you're just gonna kinda smile and look at them, and they're going to smile and look you back. Hopefully, and then you're going to be like, okay. I did it I injected myself with the nervousness of this crush. And then maybe the second time you walk down that hallway it'll be a little bit easier, and you can have a little bit less of an awkward conversation. But I'm not going to pretend that this is going to be easy or straightforward because I just think it's just hard. I think it's partially something that gets easier as you get older and have more experience in situations where you're not one hundred percent on the level as to like how everybody is perceiving everybody else. And it definitely is something that it's easier as you interface with it more. And so as is often the case like the secret to touring. Hard things is doing them. I don't think it gets that much easier to here. Yeah. I definitely experienced things -iety when I had crushes after eighth grade then in eighth grade for sure, but it was relatively low bar to jump over. But even when Sarah, and I first started dating I remember like at first we were super awkward around each other like or movies, the I was super awkward around her. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like I was made very nervous by every person I've ever had a crush on. And like the times when I'm talking to them. It's just like such a heightened experience of trying to do everything perfectly and also to analyze everything that they're doing usually incorrectly. Whether I think that what they're signaling is that they are into me. I was always wrong about that. And when I thought that they weren't into me. I was also wrong about that. Just not it's hard. It's hard to be human Thomas. Would you like a quote from Kurt Vonnegut about his experience in middle school? I was taught in sixth grade that we had a standing army of just over one hundred thousand men and that the generals had nothing to say about what was done in Washington. I was taught to be proud of that into pity Europe for having more than a million men under arms and spending all their money on airplanes and tanks. I simply never unwind junior civics. I still believe in it. I got a very good grade. The great the brilliance of Vonnegut is always in those last lines. Yeah. It's like it's like a dead joke except funny. Well, that's what you get for Kurt Vonnegut. Was he a dad? He was a, Dan. Yeah. His he adopted his one of his siblings. Children after. After a really terrible tragedy. So he was dead too. Many don't know why I'm such an expert in Kurt Vonnegut, all of the sudden really don't know much about him. I feel like you tons of Kurt Vonnegut. You were always talking about Kurt Vonnegut when you're like in your twenties. I did really LaVonna get novels. He was actually the first writer I ever like saw in person. I saw him speak in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. And all I remember about it Hank is that there's probably like nine hundred people in the audience and the authorities at the university of Alabama kept telling Kurt Vonnegut that he was not allowed to smoke in the auditorium. And he kept smoking anyway. And he would just say you've already paid me for this. Yeah. But we can find you for a separate fine. No, no. At one point. He was like listen I can smoke here or I can smoke outside. But I'm smoking. It sounds like he's become a less clumsy at being impolite, which reminds me John that this podcast is brought to you by the following Kurt Vonnegut, quote, the universe is a big place. Perhaps the biggest. Thank today's podcast is. Additionally brought to you by the phone Kurt Vonnegut quote. A great swindle of our time is the assumption. That science has made religion obsolete. This podcast is additionally brought to you by this Kurt Vonnegut, quote to those who believe in Tele Connectix, I raise my hand. And lastly, today's bond counts is brought to you by the phone Kurt Vonnegut, quote history is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet. Again, that's a good one during John is supported by little passports looking for the perfect holiday gift for that curious kid on your list. Give them a subscription to little passports each month. They'll get a fun filled package delivered right to their door packed with hands on activities interactive projects and unique souvenirs designed to spark their curiosity about geography world cultures or science. It's the perfect gift for kids of all ages. Order today for holiday delivery at little passports dot com slash Hank. And John or Jon this next question comes to you from Anna who asks hankins John my boyfriend, and I have been discussing this little bit lately, we know that mountains are measured from sea level. But now climate change is causing sea levels to rise. Does this means that the mountains will be shorter, and we'll have to change the heights on Wikipedia pages listening in Denmark and? And I just feel like that's not like the top of the list of concerns, and I'll say this. If the shrinking of Mount Everest can get you fired up about reducing carbon emissions by seventy percent over the next thirty years than yes. Yes. It's going to happen. Mount Everest is literally taller today than it will ever be for the rest of humanity. I mean like people who climb. Mt. Everest in the future aren't really climbing the world's highest mountain because the only people on the world highest mountain where like, Sir, Edmund Hillary, and tens ignore gay back man that brings up that brings up a fascinating question of like is Mount Everest earth's tallest mountain when there were previously Tyler mountains on earth than we currently have right? Great point people who climb Everest should clarify that Hank. They should say. I climbed the mountain that was the tallest mountain in the world at the time that I must. Yeah. That's apps. That is accurate. They we've gotten to accuracy as long as it's just this planet 'cause there's definitely taller mountains. Elsewhere in the solar system and universe. The other the other thing that this question made me think of John is that like we are so used to thinking in human time scales. And also thinking in a moment in time that is actually like. Stretched back has a great deal of consistency in terms of climate. And in terms of a lot of things that has been really great for humanity to rely on that consistency. And now, we are headed into a world of less consistency. And hopefully, we've built enough, tools and communication strategies. And and you know technologies that will allow us to handle that shift, but it's going to be a shift because like the fact that we measure the height of mountains from sea level like eight does make it seem like sea level must then be some kind of like, universal constant. But it is not it has changed a lot over the years. And it is set to change a lot pretty quickly in the next in the next hundred two hundred to five hundred one thousand years like who. Yeah. No recently at the Bonneville salt flats in Utah. I wrote about this on the anthem interviewed. But when I was at the bottom of salt flats I kept thinking about the fact that not too long ago the place where I was staying. Ending was two or three hundred feet underwater. It wasn't like it was under water. It was under a massive amount of water. And we think that the beach is the beach and the coast is the coast and the interior is the interior, and none of that is really real except on these very small human timescales. Yeah. Reminds me of occurred Vonnegut. Is that one too many curve on a good quotes, John? No, it's the right number. In fact, I think we might think we might have room for one more at the end. Okay. It reminded John of occurred Ivanovic quote, but he's not going to tell you what it was. No. It is hang this is such a good Kurt. Von. I know that this this one is great. I'm maybe you didn't like the previous ones. But this really is. It's perfect for the moment. Even if this weren't the bit of the show, it would be appropriate. All right. It's from hocus pocus just because some of us can read and write and do a little math that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the universe. We ever. I got to read some of these books. John found amazing now slaughterhouse five is really really good. I have read slaughterhouse five at least. I mean, it's it's definitely the best one. Anyway, I don't know that we need me taking digs at curt von gets lesser novels on the. Hey, hey, they're not all going to be perfect. That's the that's fine. All right. This next question comes from Raquel who asks dear, John and Hank have you ever swallowed a pill? And then even though you know, it's in your stomach because you chugged a bunch of water afterwards. Still felt the ghost of pills past lingering in your throat. Why does that happen? Oh, rick. Hell I think it's probably because the pill still in your throat. No, no, no. I thought it was just because the pill is still in my throat like he was stuck in a little folder something. No. No, no. I know what we're talking about. I feel this almost every time. I swallow a pill, and it it feels like a ghost it. Feels like your throat is haunted by the memory of the pill. And that's always what I've just assumed it is, well, I watched an episode of CSI one time in which during the autopsy they found a pill stuck in the woman's throat significantly after she had tried to swallow it, and they were able to identify what it was. And also the brand of the of the. Illicit drug that she was using and to the killer. So by that, I assume that is maybe more likely than we think for a pill because it's a pretty long tube to get all the way down. And I don't mean I've got us NFL IKA SAFA giant us. I'm acutely aware of the length of the tube. Pretty long tube. John has a disease that sometimes make swallowing not work. It's terrible. Oh, and usually works. It's just that. Then there's just doesn't go all the way down. Yeah. No that doesn't count as following John. Oh, you're not. It's not swallowed until it's in your stomach. Yeah. Yeah. That's the problem. I don't know. I don't know what swallowing is. I don't know what anything is recall. We are not a place to turn to for medical advice. Where one guy who's seen an episode of CSI guy who's done a lot of googling about a SAFA guesses. I am going to suggest to you to send us into the solve owns podcast because I feel like the Sydney McElroy knows the answer to this question. Yeah. I think that's great advice and people away from our beloved WNYC family. I think that you should listen to radio app and see if they have the answer just said that it Degen, Robert. I'm sure that they know what's up. I'm quite confident. They do know the answer. Actually. All right, John. We have one last question before we get some notes, and then some news, and it's from Asia who asks dear John, I'm dog sitting for a couple while they're away in Iceland. That sounds nice. I've watched the dogs before. And this time they were kind enough to leave me a bottle of wine to enjoy everything was going fine until. Now when I accident only knocked over a side table, sending the lamp my water glass Mitee mug and partially full glass of red wine flying onto the carpet. How much do you drink Asia? You are into hydration man, I deliberately tried to choose the least sentimental of their mugs. Just in case. My cartoonish case of catastrophic clumsiness caused something like this, I managed to clean the wine with miraculously, concoction and cleared away the glass without spilling too, much blood. But they're lamp is broken. I tried to look up the serial number to no avail. I don't even know if it's like an expensive lamp, what do I do? Should I tell them immediately or let them enjoy their vacation in peace Asia? Let them enjoy their vacation in peace. But yeah, you that's my experience. Yeah. This is not a big deal them. Enjoy their vacation. But far more importantly Asia. You do not need to accept responsibility. Here. There is an obvious alternate explanation for how this all went. Down and the explanation is the dog. Yeah. Your dog sitting your dog sitting you just you just say like, oh, the craziest thing happened. You know, your dog it wagged its tail knocked over a lamp, I cleaned everything up. Don't worry. Sorry about the lamp. Yeah. Or if it's like a little dog. It's like Taylor's isn't high enough to hit a lamp at like it got caught in the cord? It was running around we were playing and I was playing with. I was doing the job you needed me to do. I was being a good doggie parent, and the lamp is the casualty of that exactly. In the process of my extraordinarily conscientious dog sitting your lamp was damaged apologize. But ultimately, this is on you for having a dog and end. Additionally, you've hired me to watch your dog and live in your house while you go to Iceland. So I feel like you can absorb the cost. I agree. One hundred percent. These people seem fine seem like they're doing. Okay. All right. I think before we get to the important news from Mars in AFC Wimbledon. Not know how the Mars news is the news is exceptionally said. But first we got to talk about just as Email. She wrote in to say, dear John and Hank in response about what Abigail said about tell me a bit about yourself. I usually answer with something. I collect. So when someone asks me to tell them a bit about myself, I say I have blank number of books or nine or stuffed animals or tea sets whatever you collect. I always find that interesting. The seasons are going from pumpkins to penguins. Jess that's a great sign. They are. It's happening right now, we're making the journey from pumpkin to penguin. That's hap- manatee happened in Missoula. Everybody's pumpkins Artie are getting glumly, and it's very it was very cold. I was had to go ahead and call it cold, John it's cold here too. Just I like your answer. And I think this is a good strategy. I'm just going to throw this out there though. Yeah. I'm not sure when somebody says tell me a bit about. It yourself. The correct responses I have forty-three knives. I agree. There are a number of things that you do not want to tell people that you collect at least not off the top right Zoe a bit about yourself. I'm a knife collector, not that doesn't work. Tell me a bit about yourself. I watch eighty five hours of television a day. I mean, I'm interested go on. Yeah. I've I also different DVD's. What's the strategy? All right. We gotta get into the all important news from Mars, Nancy Wimbledon, all star, the news ANC, Wimbledon L. It's been such a difficult week for Wimbledon AFC Wimbledon after six long years of Neal Ardley, his leadership and management Wimbledon. And Neil Ardley have parted ways. He's no longer the manager of the club. It's really painful. That's I feel like that's I think that's the right call John. It's hard to know. Here's the thing. Hank neat. Nobody can question. Neil Ardley his love of and commitment to Wimbledon. He's played for Wimbledon since he was eight years old. He loves the club so much. He saved Wimbledon from being relegated out of the football league. He led us from league to to the play offs up to league one. It's an amazing story. But the last few weeks it's been clear even watching the games on my phone house. Sad. He is how stressed he is how huge a toll this has taken on him for Wimbledon to be in such bad shape. And I mean, my hope is he's a great manager. Some other team is going to be very lucky. I sound like somebody who's breaking up with someone. But that's kind of how I feel and he's a great manager. It's just that it wasn't working now at this club. And I think all Wimbledon fans will look back on this time as really a golden age of of our club. And you know, where we were led the right way by someone who had a deep appreciation for the history of the club in the values of the club. And I'm very grateful to him for, you know, giving help being a big part of giving me one of the best days of my life. The day. I spent with our dad and our friends at at Wembley watching Wimbledon go up to two league one. So it's. Really sad. There's no getting around it. And I'm really sad about it. But I I'm all tell you one thing I'm really happy about which is that the interim manager is Simon Bassey, and you may not know Simon Bassey's name, Hank. But Simon Bassey has been with AFC Wimbledon from the very beginning. He was cut from the old Wimbledon when he was sixteen years old for not being big enough. Not being fast enough, he became a cabdriver and when Wimbledon reformed and had tryouts in a public park. He was one of the people who tried out. He made it to the team he made like two hundred appearances in the ninth and eighth tier for Wimbledon. Never scored a goal had a penalty in in his last game as as a player and all the other players are like, oh, Simon you should take it and he missed the penalty. But but he's an amazing amazing person a great leader. And he's been a coach for Wimbledon. He's still a cabdriver. He's been a coach for Wimbledon for a long time. And he is really beloved. I I have so much admiration for him every time I every minute. I spend with him. I just he's one of those people who makes you feel like you're the only person in the world when he's talking to you. And I really just think he's a wonderful guy. And so I'm excited for him to be the inter manager of Wimbledon. I think it's a great vote of confidence. And it also is a statement by the community of how they feel about about Simon. So. You know, it's really difficult time. No getting around that. But Wimbledon are going to be appointing a new manager. If you happen to be a professional football team manager looking for a job. You can go to ABC Wimbledon's website and apply. That is not a joke. Applications are open. How does the page on? I mean, it's it's a good middle class upper middle class job. All right. Just like any other management position? Exactly. A slightly different. I thought about applying and leaving everything behind. But then I guess there are two big things that that discouraged me one my utter lack of qualification for the work and to a fear that I would be remembered as AFC Wimbledon's worst, ever manager would seems not like a vanishingly small chance that that would happen. John. Well, because you know, I'm great at managing people about sports. All right, John. The news from Mars the insight. Lander continues to rush rush rush toward the planet surface. It's going to be landing on November twenty six so we have another episode before it will land. But then after that it'll be on the surface of Mars one way or the other unless it just misses unless it is completely misses the planet vise off forever. But like, I think they probably have gotten gotten all that straight. So hopefully that won't happen. And and so I want to talk a little bit about one of its main instruments, which is that size Mamata. So we know what that is. It's the thing that detects like the movement of the of a planetary body usually here on earth, but there are some other places there's one on the moon, and there were actually has been a size monitor on Mars before this one is much more sensitive than than that one which was back in the seventies. So you might think seismometers that's for detecting earthquake. And yes, it does tell you when there is an earthquake or a Mars quake in this case. But it can also tell you things about the structure of the planet. So when there is a geologic event, whether that's a something that they can sense, whether that's a Mars quake or whether that's a meteorite hitting the surface of the planet different waves travel differently through the planet. Some of them travel across the surface, some of them go down into the middle of the planet and come come back. And so you could tell from that information where that Mars quake happened or where that meteorite hit. You can also tell things about the interior of the planet. So we know lots about Mars atmosphere about it surface. And even it's honest fear. We know next to nothing about the interior of the planet like more than a mile down is a complete mystery. We don't know if it has a solid core. We don't know like we don't know how the crust is. So this is going to allow us to no way way more about the interior of Mars with an instrument that is so sin. Tive that when it arrives on Mars. It can't just like land. It has to be take like the Lander lands, and then the size Mamata is taken off the Lander and placed on the ground. So it's like very carefully placed there by this. Like, basically like, you know, little praying that's on the Lander and then in order to remove the effects of wind and also of temperature change because the size seismometers so sensitive. It can't be like being blown around it. They remove this like little cute little dome shield thing that they then place on top of the seismometers. So that it's shielded from temperature change in from the wind and once it's in its little house it can detect. Vibrations that are smaller than the width of a hydrogen atom. Wow. Which reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut, quote, John science is magic that works is not really Kurt. Von according to this page. It is very elegantly done. I didn't I didn't see it coming which is really saying something because I've seen most of them coming. They've been they've been fairly visible for a lie. It's one puppet where you can see the strings. All right. So that's great news. I'm very excited for insight to land. I can't wait to tell you more next week about another of insights, very good instruments that it's going to be using to understand the interior of Mars cool. Cool. Well, I'm reminded of another Kurt Vonnegut quote. My last one I'll say really another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance. True true. That's true. I mean, hang green should have that tattooed on the inside of his wrist. Oh my God. I have I have a problem. Thank thank you for putting with me for coming up with this idea. And all of the other weird ideas you've come up with over the years. Thanks to everybody for listening and a big thanks to our friends at WNYC for welcoming us, so generously into their podcast family deer. Hanging. John is a co production of complexly and WNYC's studios. It's produced by Roseana house row. Hudson insured Gibson. Our editor is nNcholas Jenkins. Victoria, Buongiorno is our head of community and communications our music is by the great gonna Rolla and as they say in our hometown. Don't forget to be awesome.