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133-Filipino folklore: Monkey Business

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This week on myths legends. It's the story of the monkey and the turtle from Philippine folklore. We'll see how monkeys are Batta sustainable farming. And learn why you don't want to know what's in that jerky or eating or maybe you do pull you probably don't the creature this week is the loath Lee worm. And it's one more reason to kiss a dragon on the mouth. Not sure why that's become a thing on this podcast lately. But it has. This is myth smudges episode one thirty three monkey business. This is the podcast until stories from theology and folklore at some are incredibly popular stories, you'd think you know, but rising origins others stories that might be new to you. But are definitely worth listened. See story is a Philippine fable. First published in the English language in eighteen eighty nine by Jose, resolve it's considered by many to be the first formal beginning of Philippine children's literature and the straight self comes from the Oko people in the Philippines. When you hear the words like fable monkey internal, you might think about stories like the tortoise and the hair tales were these seemingly weaker creature out with some physically strong antagonised. I won't see your necessarily wrong here. But if you're not familiar with this particular story, you're in for some shocking surprises. This is winging awareness. On the Bank lined with tropical trees monkey trudged along grumbling with every step his tail drag lifelessly behind leaving a faint trail in the sand. Dirk stone. Cot monkeys. I and he kicked it angrily into the water as he passed with a Cy he hung his head shish the gurgle from his empty stomach in continued on. Just a behead where the path began a narrow a rustling of leaves a faint whistling began. Monkey paused mid step watching us, the large turtle meandered from the foliage, slowly the turtle looks fondly across and down the river before noticing the sad monkey approaching. No Hello there. Turtle call out. How are you? Monkey nodded in greeting. He was doing fine definitely holding it all together. Not just one nice question away from a breakdown. Of course, his ensuing breakdown told turtle that that was a lie. The truth is I'm dying. He began you see all this Mike, you said found this farmer guy who had all the squash. I mean like a ton of squash. It was amazing. I'd never seen so much squash before. Anyway, we were all supposed to share it. Right. But then it happened so fast, all the other monkeys took it all they stole it. Poof, just like that. It was gone. And there wasn't any left for me. And because they took it all I had nothing. Eat hurdle stood there, which means mouth agape as he listened to monkey story. Like, I am dying by now. One key was inconsolable falling apart and pacing up and down the Bank, the set creature was having a really bad day. Maybe even a bad week or month thought turtle man he was in rough shape. So turtle is sided that he. Would lend a helping hand or whatever the turtle appendages called? We'll. Well, we'll wall big guy. Take it easy trail broken his stubby, stump like leg rubbing, the monkeys back. There's no need to get discouraged would getting a knife and stealing some banana plants help you feel better. The monkeys sniffle d- wiped his eyes and nodded. Yeah. Yeah. That would help. Turtle planet stubby little leg to a nearby tree. There's a bolo knife back there. Big guy. Go get it. And let's go steal some banana plants, buddy. It'll be alright seeing as how monkey had very few options. He agreed. He found the knife. Among the brush off the pair went down the Bank in search of banana trees. It was over an hour later when turtle finally found when he was really looking for a smile on monkeys face. It was small, but things were really starting to look up for the little guy and turtle was determined to show his new friend that it would really be okay. The para found a couple nice banana plants dug them up and after committing grand theft banana plant high tailed it out of there as fast as turtle could go. So what do we do now monkey asked yearly happiness stolen prize? Turtle led his new friend to the perfect spot. We'll now we plant. He said we plant and we wait monkey grinned, even bigger. This was going to be awesome. I mean, growing our own food what a brilliant idea. He looked quickly all round bananas came from trees. So da the best place to plant was obviously up in a tree monkey bounded up the nearest trunk and set his plant down among the leaves. Turtle was waving his little. Gagnaire trying to get monkeys attention to tell him that that wasn't how planting worked, but he was only met with monkeys proud call from the tree with my tree gets fruit. Oh, man. I'm gonna sell it in be so rich, turtle Kochta non-existent, turtle eyebrow. He gets the throw the Highsmith overshadow monkeys appetite turtle role. Does is it the ridiculousness of the friendly monkey as he planted his own tree in the ground with care. Well, when my Trieste fruit, I think assault for some cloth fixed field shells been on my turtle to do list for quite some time, maybe shining up with some turtle wax or something. Monkey smiled at turtle strong Peng game climbing on the tree in standing once again, next turtle monkey PETA's buddy on his chipped in dented shell this was going to be great. Weeks later. Turtle a monkey eagerly returned to the respective banana plants ready for the harvest should be about time monkey announced. He was really looking forward to tasting some sweet right banana after waiting for so long stepping into the clearing each looked hopefully on their own plant charnel stretched his neck high in the air squinty through the sunlight his tree was now tall. Strong an overflowing with bananas most of which had turned golden yellow and prime for the taking monkey hover stood critising. His is starting jealously between the turtles which tree and his own dry and with her ghost of a tree in the air having no place to take root or any dirt at all monkeys plant was dead. Turtle nodded. That's what he said when monkey planted the tree that's what he had been telling him like for weeks monkey buried his face in his hands filling another breakdown coming. There will be no sweep banana harvest for him no profit at the market. No riches. Unless without hesitation monkey dirt up the troll stree- showing that he would Clem to the top. So they could click all the fruit. But he didn't look down from the top didn't listen for his friends or pie and never noticed. Turtle at the bottom hopeful and willing to share the fruit of his labor monkey Hello. Buddy. Turtle called up the tree he hooked his mouth Ronson bark scraped his flat little feed on the tree as he tried to climb. But he made it exactly three inches off the ground before plopping right back down in the jerk. He called up again monkey how is it up there? Hey. You're going to send me down something eat monkey monkey turtle heard monkeys response a crashing through the branches above and then he felt Linke's response with a smack in the face stunned. Turtle saw what monkey had sent him a hard unripe green banana. He took a few steps backward. Shaking off his surprise to inspect the banana. But it was inedible. The peel was still too attached the fruit itself, hard and bitter one by one all the golden yellow bananas being disappear above and muffled laughter. Rain down from the sky. Time passed shadows danced on the Bank and still monkey continued eating greedily until all the ripe bananas work on. He had eaten every last. One shared numb with turtle patting his nearly distended somac- monkey burp too loud stretched and yawn and settled into the top of the tree for a long afternoon nap. It was good to be full. Again, instinctively monkey wrapped his arms run. A clump of leaves murmuring. Something about the perfect meal as is rolled back and disappeared into a post banana coma. Crocodile help carpet. I was on the way came the distress cry from below sternly monkey from his food coma. Turtle monkey shot straight up heart racing what right banana tree full stomach nap quickly. He remembered did he dear look over the edge of his cushion of leaves the hunting ground below. You really didn't wanna face turtle. But he had to look had. No where the crocodile lurked a branch snap somewhere behind him from the ground. Monkey instinctively jumped scrambling. He struggled to re centers balance when the leaves. But it was too wobbly. He swings tail around contorted his body to try and grip even flexed his little monkey toes. But he slipped his front hands grasp vainly at the treetop see plummeted through the air. He knew he would have to run it the first touch of dirt. If he wanted to live. There will be no fight only flight and eve. Even then the Kirk might still be. Monkey lurched his breath gone. There was no dirt. No sand in his legs were useless. You wasn't on the ground. He didn't lay he hung he hung there. The bamboo spear that had been set out for him. But the crocodile no doubt protruding from his stomach. He was a motionless monkey kebab. There was no sign of turtle anywhere. Either. Cries also gone monkey grappled at the red poling confusion. Details the world quickly fading into nothing. Nothing. Save the dark green mass panning toward him in the mist. And in it's hand. A hatchet. We'll see what danger lurks long the riverbank and what happens to monkey in turtle. But that will be read after this. This week's episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe, here's a fun stat. I almost half of us make New Year's resolutions every single year it could be stuff like getting healthier saving money getting organized. I mean that's been mindfully fifteen years running. 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Just go to SimpliSafe dot com slash legends to get started that SimpliSafe dot com slash legends. All right now back to the show. By now, the sun was setting over the Bryson, beautiful pinks and blues danced into oranges and reds across the sky. There was still enough light to see is the green scaled foot petted strips of meat on the Bank. Monkey meat, salted perfection and hack into manageable size pieces. Everything had gone according to plan. Turtle surveyed is handiwork. It was exhausting but monkey hadn't struggled much. Tomorrow morning. It will be dry. He said, no one. It will be dry, and I can go to the mountains with that turtles shook his head and went to bed little delete monkey know or care, but for turtle on the ground that day monkey silence in the tree have been deafening. The smack of his greedy lips eating all the bananas disgusting and the selfishness infuriating. So that was how it was going to be turtle thought to himself as the hunger pains reared again from within adding to his growing rage. Images of the one sad and starving. Kid flash. Before him montage their friendship journey stealing plans together eagerly planting waiting getting to know each other. And then monkey stealing stealing them all monkey was a thief and pay. Earlier that day while the sun still hung high in the sky McGinlay fast asleep in the air terminal at time to think think and plan he knew exactly we was going to do monkey been out for at least a couple of hours by now he'd eaten all the good bananas. Every last one and it wasn't right. Monkey slept with no sign of remorse. No wariness. How wrong you been? But that was okay. He'd learn turtle. But make sure he learned and so while monkey slumbered turtle had been busy carefully. He gathered all the sharpest bamboo, we could find in this running brush, then all around the tree. Turtle arranged pieces upright in the ground like spears, sharpest points breaching up toward their target one last the plane was ready. Turtle took a few steps backward. Glanced once more to the top of the tree. Monkey hadn't moved at all crocodile crocodiles coming shut a turtle startling monkey. He washed his monkey leapt up in the air panic Britain across his face, but had gone better than planned scrambling, greedy monkey had plummeted to his untimely death. There have been no crocodile only monkeys poor decisions. Well, well, well, what do we have here said one monkey to the others? He pointed into the distance trudging up to their mountain hideout was a turtle happiness sack. No, one recognized the creature human they seem to be looking for them. Turtle waved and shouted something about being there and just a minute attornal minute. So like an hour and a half. It was a bright and sunny day and all the monkeys bounded over the ledge watching and waiting turtle really pushed it and finally he arrived at the monkey hideout talk about cardio. He greeted one by one the monkeys began surrounding their visitor as the lead monkey took a step forward demanding to know, why the turtle come Terrell through his hands. Well, hey, now, I just came trade some goods he immediately drop a sack revealing a pile of salted meat inside. One of the monkeys jumped with excitement before gaming. His composure turtle continued. I've been craving. Nice little bit of squash. Lately can't get it out of my head. Really? I I don't suppose you might know where I could get some a hopeful Grint spread across turtles face already watering at the mouth, the troop of monkeys began elbowing one another gently like a string of dominoes until the last one nudged the ringleader he was the biggest and clearly the toughest of the entire tribe. So you've come to take our squash have you he barked? Turtle smiles sheepishly. I mean, if you guys like meet and have a lot of squash. Maybe we could trade. Here's how this is going to go in up to the lead monkey you. Give us your sack of salted meat, and you can have your fill of squash. Turtle nodded. Yeah. That that's what the word trade meant. That's exactly what he was hoping for he beamed and pushed a sack of meat across the grass. The monkeys. Look their chops. Bring the squash. The monkeys fight each other to get to the sack clause and Oba's flew as they shoved as much of the strange meet as they can get into their mouths bleed. Are turned a turtle as the little guy stacked squash to a second sec. And the leader started to ask what the strange meet was the never tasted before. But in this distraction. He nearly lost the spot on the bag to another hungry monkey. So if he would ask later turtle couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he started his way back down the mountain squash. And hand. Look at them. Just disgusting. He turned away but stopped himself mid step. What what could be even better than watching these monkey cannibalize? This new meet that they had never tasted before it was seeing their faces upon realizing that they were eating monkey. Hey, hey, you. Yeah. I'm talking to you. He lazy monkeys the bowl. Turtle shouted although monkeys stopped and looked up. You're eating your own body. You know that? Yeah, you're eating monkey. The monkeys look down at the strips of meet them back the smiling. Turtle then back to the strips of meat a cacophony of coughing dry heaving and straight up vomiting boomed from the mountain hideout as the full wrecking of what turtle had said beginning to sink in. Then as soon as the disgust settled rage began to boil deep within the monkeys. They took one look at turtle beating a hasty getaway down the mountain and took off after the set of creature. Unfortunately, turtles hasty getaway was a hasty turtle getaway for all turtles planning and scheming screaming back. Just what they were eating was particularly port Assyrian. I really wasn't far enough way. At this point any also hadn't worn running shoes, but found on the sleep wouldn't have made a difference. Because in a matter of a few leaps and bounds. The Monkees were upon him. They howled and jumped grabbing his arms and head. I imagined him popping inside a shell to avoid the mob on the defined himself airborne as the tribe picked him up and carried him away troll will go to their house for what he had done. And he would pay. Jim the hatchet shrieked one of the monkeys cut into tiny pieces. Like did a monkey the mom spiraled into a deep. Anger, spurred on by their mutual hatred for turtle and his deception three monkeys brand through the crowd, the hatchet held high of their heads as the group parted around them, try desperately to keep his cool. But this was getting quickly out of hand. Cool guys. You really do have a hatchet. Oh, oh, man this hatchet. Yeah. This is what I really like to see, you know, I've been hit by a hatchet a lot like soem any times. Yeah. I mean seal these dark scars across my shell. Hatchet bears with I look at turtle shell. And as the disappointment begin stealing the win from their sales trail knew he still had a chance. The angry troupe began full silent as all the monkey squeezed in tightly to take a look at turtle shell for themselves. Sure enough. There were many Dirk scars on it clearly been through this before and it hadn't been enough anger gave way to disappointment and confusion until one young monkey at the back had another idea drama in the water. He hollered and immediately the mapra turned stronger than before. Yeah. Throw him in the sea came the chant as the hatchet bears. Quickly became turtle bears and hefted the heavy show once more it was a struggle for the monkeys, but they managed turtle crane is neck, but couldn't see where they were headed through the thick wave of monkeys all around guys guys guys. Let's talk about this Terrell shouted. He implored them to be reasonable, please spare his life, but there will be no mercy for turtle hands grabbed him from every angle. The monkeys chanting in unison louder and louder for. Forward and backward. They swung him until it lasted let go all fell silent. From the cliff all the monkeys mouths fellow pin and is bulged captivated by the flying. Turtle then as true plunged into the water below they cheered Justice had been served. The elder monkeys knotted with satisfaction still scowling while the younger ones high five dollar round. Someone started passing up pieces of squash as the group settle onto the cliff watching when he for bubbles and shell the surface belly up. But there was nothing. Turtle at apparently sank all the way to the bottom. Of course. Turtle hadn't sunk at all he dove into the water his giant grim? Breaking the surface once below trill swam deep he was searching for something. There. It was moments later the top of turtles had Bob above the surface. One of the monkeys pointed all the heads leaned over the cliff what the with all the eyes on him. Turtle searched the surface revealing his prize giant tasty lobster, a course of gasps and is ripple through the troop as curiosity turned to amazement up on the cliff who knew that turtles could swim except pretty much everybody. This was a total surprise. And it was awesome. Teachers had a catch lobsters turtle begged the monkeys. The young ones were eager the elders were salivating. They jumped up and down motioning enthusiastically from the mountainside how quickly the change their tune paternal was on board really anything to not have a pack of vengeful monkeys after him when it lasts. Turtle reached the top of the cliff. So like six hours later, he had rest the crowd lobsters. They're delicious, but they're bottom feeders. The monkeys nodded. Of course, they knew that mortis pretending to look smart in front of the turtle. So the turtle continued you have to down to them. It was simple actually, take a string tie one durang or waste like so. And then you tie the other around a stone. Make sure it's fairly big too. So you sink. That's how you get to lobsters all the Mckee stirred intently at turtle barely blinking. Are you serious right now? Someone asked from the back troll stared back this walled alumnus throat. Yes. Without warning absolute cast broke out across the cliff. Monkey started this way, and that some searching for string others piling large rocks. The water's edge fists flew as they fought over some of the strings until turtle walkover and snip them in half. There. There will be lobster enough for everyone. They began time strings around the middle's parents double-check strings around their kiddos, making sure everything was snug. And there was turtle at the shoreline helping the monkeys attach themselves to the rocks when it lasts everything was ready all the monkeys lined up on the cliff ready to dive into the water below. There would be so many lobsters that night. How could they thank turtle enough Terrell smiled and nodded? It was nothing. One by one the monkeys jumped off the edge rocks and hand as they Kim balled into the waves hooting and hollering as they fell from the empty cliff. Triple stood captivated by the final flying monkey. It wasn't a graceful flight in the poor fellow lost control of his Brock halfway down. The rock hit the water. I immediately pulled the young struggling monkey beneath the surface. Bubbles danced for a moment that all fell still and still it remained. Even after the some beginning to set across the water. Beautiful pinks and blues. Dance into oranges reds across the sky. There was still enough light to see it. The rounded silhouette at the top of the mountain tufts of grass, Swain gently in the breeze. No one as far as the I see. After the sunset turtle climb back the now desert monkey hideout found the bag of squash. Any finally enjoyed a quiet dinner to himself. The story and to this day still like eating meat. Also how much that stays turtles from the west African turtle stories. We told them the podcast. They're both Turkey. But the west African turtle trickster is an agent of chaos who never wants to do any work only wants to get rich by trickery. This turtle though also tricky only did what he did disavow live. He doesn't mind work. But if you try to con him watch out because he's apparently not afraid to get shockingly brutal next week. It's a rare week where there won't be a new episode. It'll give some time work on some other projects. So if you're looking for something to listen to in the meantime are the podcast fictional has three seasons out in confined fictional that FM catch up for the new season premieres April. So in two weeks. We'll be telling the story of the goose girl from the Grimm brothers, and then three weeks will be coming back into the three and legends. But the Stanley story of Tristan nice old scummy a fun month. Thanks to EMMY dub Brian eat world. Fox's the master Adair my Jeep Kibo thirty eight CT CCTV's failing physics AMC Comber. Have you moon d shepherd ninety eight K Mark out three angry Mody phases? Cloud. The key three and mountain traff. For the reviews, apple podcasts. Thank you so much for listening Antigone time writer review, and he likes leave review. Apple podcasts is still the best place in coined the show at apple dot myth, podcast dot com. And as always there's a membership thing in the site for less than the price of edible, dehydrated, zebra Tranquillo. You can get extra associates source back e books and every versions of the show that will not give you internal bleeding checkout. Support dot myth podcast dot com. More on the membership. Creature? This week is the loosely worm from English folklore, the locally warm dragon. But it's called a warm because one that was the name for a type of dragon into it's basically like a big angry worm to claws on the front. It comes from a ballad written in the seventeenth century which supposedly comes from mountain Bard song and the twelfth century. And yeah, mountain bar might just be my new dream job in the Bard song. Margaret's father, the king didn't know that you definitely shouldn't marry someone who calls himself, a wicked witch Queen and who has actual minions falling around and barring that you should under no circumstances. Leave her alone with your beautiful daughter. Not having any pretense to what she was doing the wicked witch Queen immediately banished the Princess to live in the spindles in hills. And as a minor point transformed her into a hideous poisoned spewing dragon, the problem with poisons spewing dragon, it tends to attract a lot of attention aside from the poison. Itself killing people. There was the problem of the dragon blading the land from miles around the people were so distraught that the got enough money together to hire a local Warlock who told them. Yeah. That's Princess, Margaret, the only person who can save is your brother child. Wind child was off venture with his thirty buddies money heard about how disturb and turn into a dragon. He and his buddies got together and swore to end the scourge and free sister. They built a ship and sailed for home cut a couple of weeks later. The rain is pouring down at night. And the dragon Princess under the control of the wicked witch Queen is guarding the entrance to the harbor as the witch Queen is standing there flanked by her army of evil Imps. The dragon shoots into the water. The first side of the ship easily fit in her jaws and perceived thrash it against the rocks until all child window dead child. Win was standing there on the rocks with his your Mcgann or size sister looming over him. But then the dragon stopped drank came down all around them. The dragon lnu look the young man the which. Queen commanded her to kill him. The sister deep within recognized her brother took control. She refused to fall the order and the magic broke dragging cut side of the witch Queen fleeing, but she didn't follow. She looked down at her brother, and she told him to kiss her what I imagined child win sane the drag nodded kiss three times right on the lips prince paused, but she's a sister and a dragon rage in the dragons is flared. Yeah, she was a dragon and she's fighting against the dragons desire to devour the guy. So if he wanted to see a sister again and Nazi inside of dragons stomach, then it was time to get kissing so child winded, he kissed his sister three times on the lips. And on the third she was instantly standing there naked which was probably uncomfortable for all involved when they returned to the castle the confronted the witch Queen and the touch of the row entry that made up the keel the. Chip protected. The prince from the witch's magic will make his landing. She was turned into a dragon herself child win eventually became king and everyone lived happily ever after except for the witch Queen who live is a poisonous dragon until the end of time in the cave and everyone else who live around there who poisoned with impunity. Because I guess the dragon isn't attract Princess, it's not really enough problem if it's only harassing poisoning common people. That's this week missing legends is by Jason and Korea. Wiser theme songs by the band broke for free the creature the week music is by Steve combs, their links to even more than the shown us. I wanna say thanks again. The SimpliSafe for sponsoring this week two thousand nineteen feels like a good year to ask yourself. It's my home is safe as it could be anything. Maybe this is the year to fix that. But SimpliSafe SimpliSafe is making it easier than ever to get twenty four seven home security with no contracts or catches. They believe the safest place on earth should be your own home. And they helped more than three million people feel that way every day. Get started by going to SimpliSafe dot com slash legends that SimpliSafe dot com slash legends. Thank you so much for listening and all seeing time.

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