Cyanide On The Rocks w/ Wendi Starling, Mehran Khagani, and Jackie Fabulous

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

This is a stand up New York labs production, providing you podcast since twenty thirteen. Hey, guys, it's yarmulke here with rant and rave in with Yama nica and friends. Do you have your laugh pass? Well, you should laugh pass provides you unlimited access to shows. A stand up New York you have to reserve obviously in advance. But you also get VIP seating. At each show free tickets with a friend and free drink upon arrival a bottle of wine or your birthday. Oh my God. My birthday would be every day with this deal. And listen there is an annual price of one fifty nine for this laugh pass. But if you use the promo code from this podcast, which is rant R A N T, you can get it for discount of one thirty nine a year. So please go to get laughed past dot com and sign up to receive alerts on laugh pass, and when it will be in your area. If it's not ready there, again, get your left pass and laugh today. Big. You know what? Is raising imprint wake you up. So high everyone and welcome to ran and ran with Yemeni again friends. I have a bunch of friends in the building today. I'm very excited before we start with the fun. There's a very serious tone that I need to take with you guys right now. Please be very careful when you get into an Uber or lift please be very careful. A young woman in Columbia, South Carolina, by the name of Samantha Joseph son, twenty one years old was found dead last week by the time you guys are hearing it it's two weeks from now two weeks ago in Columbia, South Carolina. She got into a car that she thought was her Uber. And it was not it was driven by a man. Name Nathaniel David Rowland who was twenty four years old, and he was arrested and charged with murder and kidnapping and. One of the things that we're working on right now is called what the fuck are y'all doing while. I'm talking about death and really a dick with Ober inside of it. This is a type of sophomoric bullshit that I'm dealing with with people who are well into their thirties and beyond. John we're letting you do your we're just having. Thing that you you. It's the days gentlemen. There is a half Ted called has tag. What's my name has had? What's my name whenever you get into a rideshare, especially if you're alone, please before you get into that car mic. Sure. You check the license plate that is on your app with the car that you're getting in and ask the driver. What's my name? It is very unsafe these days Jamaica. All right. Someone died. My. Do you know this judo this woman? I almost said I know I was called it was called her. I know, and you know, what? And to Samantha Josephson's family. If you're listening or anybody that knows they're not listening. They're morning. They are grieving we are not making raven. It is a is a situation that I just want everybody to kinda live. We just gonna start glancing at the people that are here. Jackie fabulous. Who was batting her eyelashes? She got the eyelashes that if she keeps Batman she going to be feel lying next to a Delta Air life. You're lazy feel not only do I feel a breeze. I feel like spot on my skin peeling back. Nice. I like we have Wendy stall in the star of the new documentary. Give right hit the streets. Call Wendy and me. What's it called Wendy funding pains, funny, pay and Wendy and me tomorrow? Brecca's versus. Yes. Fans of the fray, we have the one the only the pest of my life. Wow. Can I say rock? Yes. Everybody knowing good. And well that this is also a podcast, and nobody knows. I know I think this is drew this. Can they see it? Yes. He drew a penis. I'm harsh shape car. What's my name with the thing? Uber on the side because you know, what tag it unless my name. Yeah. He does say Hello to windy. Join Gino hydrogen knows our heat. It's is torii. What I hate when when the focused. They names the way they need to have. They fucking names. You my mother when she was on instrument. What was her name? And I was like Ma don't nobody would do this have to do with anything your fucking name where they pick. Let's like sugar bear sixty nine just what is weeding and trying to get work. No Weasley limb. Fucking school at funny who you want work on that. We'll go figure I everyone. So I just I wanted to make I just wanted to make that known that you guys have to let's start making less less really start trying to because it's unfortunate, and there's a tragedy, and it should not have happened that that young girl passed away like that under those circumstances and my my condolences to her family, and if somebody who takes Uber and lift all the time, I. You said he said it was taken. I completely understand. Why this is a sensitive topic? I get an Uber is all the time. And I'm like, I don't even enough things happen to you. Honey. Sometimes I'm been like, I don't know about this guy every now, and then they go down a road. I don't think listen necessary or they start talking about some non I actually have audio. Recording of an Uber driver. The other day. I was trying to record a cars for a Jewish. And he hey chili. And this guy started telling me just out of the blue. He started talking about how good he is it eating pussy as he was driving. Not that's actually creates he'd started. And I have it on audio. And I was recording this commercial because it's an inside joke with my friends. So I started record the commercial, and I got the audio of him being like, and then I spread lips open. And then I'll read it, I always. And I'm getting like Uber and get free rides for the rest of your mind science, my friend, and she outlet his end, you get reimbursed times ten times tab, but I my may have. Brought the conversation up. Jordan it by saying what's my name. And then she's like, how are you at? That come up in over. I said wasn't my name say a five more times. Okay. Okay. So the views expressed by the comedians on the show today have nothing to do with Yemeni. Normally, that's rows your views. Okay. So. I just wanted to make sure that I said that in also we all know, I caught me wrong when I was in New Orleans. Remember too old pops. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the whole time may I have to tell me to do because I wasn't going to report him, but happened. Okay. So here's a recap. And I and I'm not a snitch. No twice already been like report up, but I'm only a snitch for free shit. I not only texting may Ron I had to get on the phone with him to pretend that he was waiting in. The I hop that. I was taking the Ober too. So that the man would leave me alone. So I get into and this is what I mean about not thinking somebody is unassuming because a lot of the times people that do stuff or the people you would never like the time almost got killing. I'll a we'll talk about another time Jesus. Oh, yeah. When I was nineteen. There was a guy that he would come to the open mics. He would come to try to get on on the lottery on Sundays. And he kept not pulling a number. I told him if I pull a number. I will give him my number. I gave him my number. I'm just giving you the Swedish version well because I was getting picking numbers all the time. And I was there. They started. They sort of let me go on. Anyway, you know, so I'm trying to not get kind. No, no. It was nothing white guy with a button up. He looked very normal. He was like I'm going to give up. I didn't want him to. Give up I picked the number. He did not give him a number. He said he wanted to thank me by taking me to dinner. I let him take me to dinner. He gave me a cigarette. We, you know, remember him smoking a cigarette, but he didn't smoke as much as I did. It was laced with something. I would say it was not a heroin. I started nodding out at as I was Notting out. We were right on sunset. He was parked on sunset. I parked my car in the garage didn't want to move it. So we were going to dinner in his car. And he as I was nodding out. He said he wanted to show me something he pulls me up out the car and takes me around to the back of his trunk pops the trunk and shows me all this these no like, tools, and like chainsaws and acts and hammers. And he was like we're going to have fun and Iran harm injury air fide. He's like I have I have a deck. You need help him finish. I need you real fucked up because no one like doing manual just raped me. Right. She day. I remember being terrified but under the influence, and I had to think quick like because I was nodding. I was I wasn't gonna keep nodding and coming back. I was gonna eventually not often to sleep their way. And so you stay the fuck you guys know where Carney's is right on sunset went to. I said let's get some chili cheese fries because I'm hungry right now, we can have all the fun you want. We went in and go to get the chili cheese fries. Don't writing in his car saying this. No, we were in his car. We were he was parked right in front of Kearney's on sunset. Okay. And we started smoke. I smoked. Okay. So he rolled something. It was like here's smoke this. And it was laced with some shit. Yeah. So we get him to take us into Carney's. Yes. So that we can get chili cheese fries. I liar stories missing. Because I want to get to this other Uber story. Okay. Gotcha. And they've heard this story before and I told him I said, let me go to I have to go to the bathroom, but he didn't wanna let me out of his sight. And he was like, no, no, no, no. As an I told him. I said, no, there's a bathroom, and the, you know, the good thing about Carney's is you can see the back. Breath room from inside. And it looks like you're going to the bathroom from inside. But you have to go down the steps and up to go to the bathroom. Why don't you run after you saw this shit in his trunk because she was drum listened that's terrible roof. You think you might be gonna get raped credit? Get chilly chief rise because like your mother you gave me drugs. I load diary much more fun to rape with the full. What I what what made you want chili cheese for pretty good strategy. Oh, yeah. Jay ask you to leave. Why I didn't want chilli cheese for hours? Okay. What I was. I love the truth. I before I go. This was the last meal. Before you torture me? I wrong the Mexican cartel. Poor Jackie I would've had to go to Morton's, sir. I see what you have in the trunk your car. You know, what you have plans? I would like a filet Mignon. We take time out to because I I want serious for the women that are listening. Yeah. Because when because you're in a situation guy is trying to actively kill me. You don't he could have been a DIY enthusiast. He goes oh mad for you. You ask three listen to you is the possible serious. I. Guy at nineteen. Oh, baby. So when I talk about this Uber story this young lady at twenty one doing we all make mistakes. Yes, right alii, and the amount of white women that I have seen taken over for me. 'cause they don't even check. They like, okay. And I'm like what the fuck are they doing I had so many Uber's had to come back and get me cause some white girl just jumped over and thought it was hers I've gotten just going to say, I love it. And they're like yarmulke. She's like, sure. Whatever you was describing. They wanna hit a story what the tea is the I'm use your drunk when I get the car, and I'm like, what is my name. What's my name now Boji before L getting unmarked car? There was some driving Aim High bid. Yeah. Let's these eighty maybe. Yes. But Milton coins, I shouldn't I should have been led since nineteen ninety seven, but Mr. riddles around the corner that lives off a Pimlico road. And not do anything. You know him. He go to church with your grandma. This is the so many random niggers just come here and open them. Don't be probably verifying these silly people. I'm like the way they drive. Nobody driving test. He's African drivers back in the day. They were to you. Serves we to a certain club was my Ober driver one night. And I remember I said is this so as solar solar? So you buy some. I would like God I'm trying to shittiest edibles in America. I. Teeny bread. That is I looked at the profile pitch. And I say this. So and so then when I got in the car, I look we may I contact through the rear view. He looked at me. I looked at him. And we all try to pretend like we didn't know that he sold drugs at a certain spot. We only just we'd what did he sell? Jackie leave. Jackson thirty AM Jackie to beef tails, Jackie the damn. Thank god. I found a we dealer. It's hard. And it's on your ride home. So it's too. What's your name? After saying so convenient to sign on. Go fuck now legal in New York, by the way. Yes. Sure. Recreationally? No. Yep. That's a problem. That's. I know what you know. I haven't done this in a while MAC you start the timer for five minutes. Please wait what she sort of time for five minutes. I've been timing. You. Some I in my own head tie big you on this story. And you start a timer for five minutes. Matt. No, I got it. We're at thirteen thirty three. Let me know when five minutes met. That's when I will talk. Again. I haven't done five minutes of silence and two years. Oh my God. You guys carrying the show for five minutes. We were looking at you. You talked about a cigarette. Some Hooker in LA with tools a girl in an Uber girl. I hang up and then MS fabulous asked you a couple of questions. You jump down earn. I thought Wendy you came for her fucking documentary. You called it, Wendy and me, which is a better side, somebody Dr. No. I mean, you warm my sunglasses, the oldest tea all your open drivers also a weed dealer. Why is that bad? What's my name? When is that trying to find the six day I've been here. I wish you told me I would have brought you on a bag of that shit. I'm so tired of being sober. Give me your phone number. We all know you do. You did a bunch of. I haven't agency leave y'all wanna know YoM it. He could take five minutes of silence for herself. Okay rice because she was getting heated. Right. But you know, I'm actually I wanna hear YoM YoM is hot take on. Glad you're alive related incident of murder, and I it's not like before getting murdered all over the place copy to Uber. It's like this is a racket. Do you know what this feels like a campaign of fear the likes of which we haven't seen since George did the can't get leading? They're like, you don't need money or like this. Iraqis eleven shit. It's like what Ober you better watch out for ruber should've had him bring you the cross stations. I mean, if you're going to die you might have had to let some some. Yeah. That's the t-. Yeah. Right. Where's their happy hour waste your last meal? Got to be good right came saw. Yeah. Chainsaw so much as you chain saw, then you get a nice dinner. And then the other thing is you go to a separate location for dessert because it has can take your murder to the second location. You probably won't get. Because they say always go to the second location for your kid, man. But she should be dead, though, one the kidnapper takes you. They say if you move if he moves you successfully you're gonna die. The hope take you to a second location. He should've said, you gotta dinner. Yeah. But that's 'cause she took the initiative. So this is why I think this is why should products set because like sure to be serious. So this is a good tip. If you're getting -ducted if you take the gun to the second location. You say don't try to help men in comedy. Mitch let them figure in life. And you guys I had to work to get Jackson t that's the lesson. You try to help white boy to become a comic. He's probably not doing that shit. No, more fuck guy. Yeah. Anytime you're nice to a man in general. I swear to Christ. I try on the train and not be a cut and make eye contact smile with people and they pull the Vic on yes. And it's partially as the defense thing to me like you can't rape me. 'cause I'm gonna let you I like oh like trying to make eye contact. I'm also a crazy, right? Yeah. I like, I do a pretty I might kill you. Right. But said is on I make contact with someone staring at me. And then you kind of look, and you smile they instantly than dude things. It's like, oh, she was nice to me. I'm with me. Yes. And they will it's so it's a nightmare. You can't be nice to men, and I stand by what I put on Instagram Kenner track. Because so here's here's the thing. Right now, you all can't see your face 'cause she's broadcasting he left he left but on her face. You can see that she's making her shopping list for her trunk right in her head. She's like an rope on tarp Anita bone saw I need what. Ever they fucked up Khashoggi with she's everything in her face right now says I'm a kill off three of you. And I'd like to see you try Bech because let me tell you something I need some chili cheese fries. I'm trying to get to know her question. I've never first time. I just meeting for the first time, no, different Instagram telecom. We never ever hung out and bonded. And now that I'm trying to get to know that she's angry. Do you know what this? Like, your mom gets your feels like we're all fucking around, and she was trying to cook dinner and we kept throwing combing aids aids. Cancel cook your own food. Watching the playoffs. She's. She's just like you enjoying that and the tears she's beat today to like the mug is beat the eyebrows, correct, Lil lessons, and you want to be a friend will ask God damn question asks the two absent the lesson. Go ask your shit. Let it hell story and don't help white men. Tried to stand up comics. That's what I get. So yummy, yummy. You knew this girl who got killed in the Uber. Right. That's she's your friend famous family. Our is that correct? No, she's to helped the world. It makes us all. This is a story that was out to drum up fear, and I'm just like. Help protect protect right? We all could be. I I've gotten many live and been like, this is a station wagon. But whatever I need to get home. I once had a cabdriver very, I moved to New York. I remember I got in a cab and this guy like so let me just say this. You want to say it was five minutes by five minute. Walk. The my own name. Now, let me go ahead. And let me read everybody before finish the story because everybody wants me to finish the story, and I will finish the fuck is store. Okay. Okay. Jackie. Yes, ma'am. I love you that tell you. Yeah. I've fallen in love with you. You better be glad you said that bit. Do you want to call the seller kaslow date? Bitching already one big bitch in here. Why are you let Harry Jackie will be around. Jackie Jackie would be around forever. I will you know, because Jackie fits into the fold fit taste fit into the folk till I will have my lawyer strip every piece of data me on your fucking document. Editing. And may run I don't know who it's collusion. Fucking could Ghandi. And he's fucking dying. Carol. I thought I knew, but I didn't know sure one glass. Yeah. Don't hide the beetle juice buzzard as demon that you all okay. This queue. That's why he works. Cute. But he's a demon that let me get back to what I was saying. When you are in trouble, and I have been in trouble. More times than I would like to admit because I am unfortunately, friendly is I suggested that we go to get chili cheese fries because it made sense. I'm a big girl that I would want food, and he wouldn't question it, and I just hope know, we're sledding. Would you be like let me suck a dick? I I'm saying, okay. That's it or as a gay personnel. It'd be like let me do not. You know, what I'm saying is for me, the quickest thing for me to think that would not raise any alerts with him is that I'm hungry. Now. Let's go get some chili cheese fries. And then we can do whatever. The fuck you want that I'm down. I didn't wanna make him think I wasn't down. But I needed to do something before we you know, it was a risk. I had to take I was already in a risky situation. When he took me up they had to think quick because I'm nodding out, and I don't have the time. So. I'm like anything I can get away from him. Because even the guys that knew me from Carney's behind the grill. They just thought I was looking up with this nigger they giving high fives. And and it's like, and they don't know that I'm screaming out for help. So I'm on my own. Yes. I get outside to go to the bathroom that he thinks is right there because thank God. He don't know Carney's, and he don't know that the to get to the bathroom. You gotta go downstairs to go back up to these days. When I go down, I'm walking trying to get to at the time, the coffee bean was there and all the comics hung out the coffee bean, so when I get to the call now on now by the I'm so drugged up that I'm walking into the street. Another white guy comes and pulls me out of the streets. And he's like, what are you doing? And I said, no, no, no, no. I get it because I'm scared of white guys at this point because white guy getting ready come and get me. I said I gotta get the fuck outta here. And he's like where you going. I said I didn't want to tell him. I was scared to tell him. I said he says, well, you can't you're walking in the street who who's here for you. And I said just there's some comics. I said, I'm. A comic. Can you take me to the comic sitting here? And I didn't know any of the comics like that. And that's how I met my friends Zorba Zorba Gerard. I met him for the first time, and we met there. He saved my fucking life. I said to him now, I'm a young kid. I'm like nineteen years old. They think I'm some idiot. You know, because they know you come to the monks with my mama, mama. Take me up to search on Sundays. And we would go together. It my first time going without my mother. Mommy. She was out of town. It was my first my first time going by myself. She gave me money to park she parking garage. I don't want you on the streets. Like all these things. My mother was doing to keep me safe. I mean. Because you don't think of the woman that you can get hurt. It's serious. I know, you know, by mom told me not to she's like don't go park on the street. I'm giving you money to go into, you know, a parking garage. Don't risk your life and somebody that I trusted. I don't notice guy. Just look good. You know, not look good, but he looked normal and he wants to fucking kill me. And I'm trying everything worked in my favor that day for some people. It don't it worked in my favor that God took everything and let me go step by step to some type of safety. And even when I got to the comedy store like when I got right before like the coffee bean, the people whispering about me. Oh, she's this on drugs. Something's wrong with her and I had to grab Zorba. And I I've seen you, please. There's going to be a man with chili cheese fries coming to kill me. I know that sounds Larry's. But that's what I said. I said this is a guy he's come with chili cheese fries. He's gonna kill. Me here. He's wants to kill me an airline all she's just drunk. She's high, and it wasn't until that motherfucker walked up, and he has something in a foil tent. And they and Zorba was like what is that in there? And he was like I got her chili cheese fries. And everybody went to try to stop this niggers lights out 'cause they knew then that oh, this all makes sense was going on and whatever he gave me I was high for six or seven hours. Yeah. And at one point I I remember going to the hotel next door to the comedy store, and we had calling cards back then and I call my mother in a drunken stupor that my mother was concerned. And this is when you would call peoples voicemails leave messages because we couldn't we didn't have all the cell phone all that. And she kept saying call me back coming back, and we didn't know how it's going to get home. I'd to call my girlfriend. It was a mess. They thought he's going to take me to the hospital. And then the next week. He comes back. To do his spot. I was gonna ask you if you would hate back. Did he say anything to you? He the same anything that Zobeir to stop me from going up to just let him go. Let him do his thing in we never want to see him again. And when he after he got off stage. I went up to him. I said, I don't know what the fuck I sit on what you what you gave me you gave me some high. I said how many girls have you killed because I know he's killed girls. And he looked me dead. In is said, you'll never know. And I come over my body that deal women he has done this to. So when we talk about this younger on this. Uber shit his credit Israel, you know, sometimes you don't get to make it out of the sting people die in 'cause some reckless bullshit. Right. And that's shit the mount of suffering. It's not just her. I mean, I'm telling you do I notice grow. No. But I could have been this girl. And I get all excuse me. All choked up I given Cavs all hours of the night. I get home and four I am here or LA almost every day. So whether in my own car and Uber a strange last night, I got in a random cab because I didn't have enough money for an Uber. My county more got along with the grand concours went upstairs. I had cash I got a cab. But it didn't have any kind of certification all schools ails ninety seven again. I got some random cabins shit. I'm okay, I get an constant strangers cars daily. So this shit is real. It's real. Yeah. That's I have win the taxi cab. When I first moved here. The same kind of thing this guy were driving, and he's like pretty girl like you shouldn't be by yourself at night, and I just moved to New York from LA. And then I realized he starts driving a radically. And then he's like just starts complaining about his life. And now he needs a woman to this go fishing with and I was like, oh, this is a crazy person. And then he was like driving all over the place. And I and I was like, oh, we're Where'd you like you went the wrong way. I'm like, and I was lost in the elections because I just moved here. And I was like fuck that's going to be an extra ten bucks. And he goes don't worry any shut the meter off. He's like, I'm charge you anyway. And I was like on remember thinking I'm going to get killed. Yeah. Yeah. I've had the same thought. And so I did the same thing of why was like, you know, what I can really go for a drink. You want to get a drink because I'm an alcoholic. So I was like, oh, it's probable that. I would to go get a drink. Yeah. So we stopped at a place on ditmars right before thirty first at a bar right there. And I was like let's get a drink. Let me buy you drink because I had to try to calm him down. It's the same kind of thing. Get away it is fucked up as a woman that when you. You have someone trying to attack you and come out you and your threatened, and I've been like not to pry, but I've been raped by two guys, and I was assaulted by my fucking laundry guy that I know his whole family the day after Christmas in my apartment, an older Asian guy, and I know his wife and his daughter, and he just like grabbed money, and then and like, but are instead of people being like, why don't you fight back? It's like narrow because getaway you try to be nice. So that your let me let me down. So you don't hurt me? Try to like women trae thank your into it. Then you can figure out how to get away. So I did the same thing. I went into this bar, and I was like, let's get a drink. And I and I violated the stripper trick where I got just like a seltzer water and got him. I was like give him a double fucking, whatever. And. Give him some on rock. Yeah. I need to get the fuck outta here. You have any bleeds to call episode sign on the Ron Ron Ron pitcher, please pitcher, he'll take a double window. And I have the mccraw rocks. And I had to sneak out. I ran out. I gave I was like you put money in the jukebox, and he went to go put money in. And he was like stumbling towards fuck, and I was a block from my apartment, but I didn't want him to see me going into my apartment. Yeah. So I took off in a dead sprint like three o'clock in the morning with a backpack. But it's the same thing where you're like. Okay. I'm gonna I could be killed right now. Yeah. Wasn't the biggest. But it's terrifying. It's sudden it happens so much as sometimes it's switches on them when they not willing. Right. They don't wanna be. They don't like when you're willing to just a finish up. The Yuba story that I call me runabout. And do you want me to film you because not fun? May on holding the camera, and you could flip it on yourself to just want you to know you mean like this. I'm the way. Different angles of me. That's wrong. I watching today's he's going. I feel you feel you what is that? Oh my God. How you go. You tell your story. Yeah. I wanna I wanna wrap up with this. And I want to do I do want to talk about the I forgot about. Oh, I g comedians. But so I was coming back from. I think it was the impractical jokers crews had did. And we did a I watched as state extra night 'cause the guys had a show in New Orleans. I remember one hundred and so I was ready to get out of. I went online and trying to be cheap and got some hotel ahead like two stars. And it really didn't even need a star. It didn't even star that they have the unfilled stars where you can fill it in. The need that. It was it was like several pornos via taped on my floor. A lot of shit going on. I was like can I can I switch rooms? So I wanted to so I had some time. And I wanted to go to hop time before I went to the airport, and literally you can't it would everything was in walking distance. But it's the highway there so you can't walk. It is no walk path. So as I walk into taking me ten minutes, maybe fifteen minutes max to walk to the I hop. But there's no walk path to get on the highway that state, right? Right. Right. Right. Right. So call this goober, and it's this white guy who maybe this is why do something we all know that they're the ones that everybody is asking no common knowledge statistically. Yes. The guy. That's the guy that killed this young white girl, the black guy, I know every now and then every now and then, but he'll just kill one. Do you know what I mean? A black man will kill just one. Yeah. The white dude cereal. I may cereal that killed the K all the Wichita Kansas. The greedy that's back in life, then titled privilege, I wanna kill one. But I want to kill all the bitches own him love and mama to remember got killed. You know, kids at the school. The mother says he tries to the house. She put the a do. Oh. Hi, how can we sick? We made you how what I I'm we're so I'm so sad. 'cause it because this is just real though. You know yarmulke, by the way, I'm on the phone. She'll always calling me from her. Uber's jeez. Always thinking that this is the one. Every time. So like this Mary or that's gonna they're gonna kill her. She's like oh heat. And now the now he's driving slow. He doesn't know what you slow now for no reason, which is down for you trying to thank you gotta think about something. Alabama down documents. Doc dry. What's your Uber? Rada tell the truth shell the truth. And by the way, young mega isn't obnoxious Tipper. She's an obnoxious tip high. No is in like whenever if we ever every time this like will be like, I waited tables for years and years and years, I was a bartender for your. So I know my twenty percent thirty percents twenty. I know them, and oh always she's like, you know, it's like sixty bucks twenty bucks for the she is an obnoxious Tipper. So just saying that like. Intern karma hurt. Uber. Ratings should be like h shit. Right. Yeah. But it'd be a perfect five. I what is an excellent Tipper and beyond above and beyond. But I'm also obnoxious as in too much or you are circuit you pick up the speed just a little like, we ain't gotta go two miles an hour. Okay. It took you five minutes to get here. Where were you? Where were you? He's like I was burying body of my left. Okay. Asking all know, you you went under. But I'm very first of all I'm better than this bitch holding the camera because let me tell you here living with the critiques on the driver's attitude. Kill, you know, no, no, let me I found the hustle to first of all I don't I wait two days to write some money down. Okay or day. Whenever I try to wait lease at least a couple of hours before I go back to them and write them down. Okay. And I don't leave. We're they remember you from is. 'cause I was with the Uber driver. And he was like, no we kinda got down. Like who rated us what kind of thing because they'll be like, oh, talk too much did bumpy ride or whatever don't put into description what the problem was just write them down. Because then you'll never get them. Again. That's the thing. Right now. I don't bother to say when you write somebody three a below three. You'll never get them again. And so I've been writing them threes when I don't wanna go. I would I rate right? Swamp. Thing's foreskin. But I write a lot. I give a lot of people like you got to really be fucking up for me to rates you low. But with that being said, my rating is a four point six. Okay now. No, it isn't no of mine is. I don't care. How what do you mean? Because I love the way your your Hooper's. And I would give I would like I track you down. I would I would murder you for sport. I would be you'd be like what's my day by be like Yama nica and you're dead bitch. I've been waiting for you to get back by the because the way you talk over driver. Should talk to them. No, I got. I don't know. I is very specific things the help the journey along. I don't be talking to people who are easy. My view I've had more. Most of my Uber ride me talking with the Uber. Driver cat. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm like, you know, I'll be like, I always get an essay. I now the bad part is I'll go my my I have a secret name. So. Oh my God. I go his because my name was to Google. Okay. You know what I mean like? She's like, they're stalking me. They're trying to kill me. It's up believable fake names aliases. Yeah. I live. I live watch. If you Chad Uber, and you tell them what you do with the ask. Then they'll get curious any might look up later. Yeah. But she's also the girl who's going live on I g being like, I am at the following restaurant. And this is my appetizer. We have more time where they had a nice meal, and he has it forget it was months ago. So it's like it was one time. It was fantastic with the place. He took me was beautiful. I didn't know the place. I want other people to know he didn't wanna buy. No, he wouldn't be in Syria. So let me tell you something. But I want my length. Sean. Heels once he won't let it go. One time. What? We got us first of all this cheap bit. I just do with us. It got us in ten other niggers and a hint. Well. Absolutely. Honda Civic with four. I want to say. And he got any super tall. I'm like. He told he that'd be like don't fucking do Opole. I'm gonna pull every time five this. You ought to take. Damn live off feel say every time. I get you in a car. Stop and it I mean VIP luxury some shit because I got the P on Ober says I'm so bad with everybody. I give them two thousand dollars a month. That's just gonna fucking car. I think over three or four times a day. Fuck them now. Yes, not can ask them. Why would they five minutes late? While I was running around in a surf was much as I put your fucking pocket stocks in this shit. I remember when you were eulogizing someone. Got it. But Cameron this has had. Public recently. I saw that on CNBC. It was very exciting. What it is. I don't know what three Oba's passed. She's like, no lift it's like, I don't know. Corporation wise, and racist and all the shit. I like live. Souad light list. That's all I'm also California airy-fairy, we it'll be like lift off their their edgy environmental. That was dry call that should have with. A lift for about just. The public wants you to finish the the the New Orleans drivers Buckhead in New Orleans. Let me just say y'all real quick about Disney this hold in the camp. Yes. Yes. Yes. We got into a Uba one day. Right. Me him. His husband, thankfully, that wasn't house allies. All out city. Husband. Live about the peel open the truth. We get it with a guy who looked like he eats gay people for breakfast drive. Wait, get drive. It looked like he been doing. Hey crimes as practice and his mother's fucking uterus. Go like they come out with anti gay. He he's a anti gay girl ever says I've got about the geisha. Everything about this guy. Members only. Channy bruno. Jack. Yeah. Fillet members write that down. Clinton. Never only want the hood. Heats teetering or hate niggers to when he's so far. So I hate in the gay and all the time. So is like and now you put him in a situation with to gaze at. Drive off. I of. Kilby? Now that you want to call. My. The now. I get into co-. I get call. I see even the accent of his he from somewhere where they e- Japan league is ju- everything nigga, they ju- the gays. They trained for breakfast is clutch the bone, and they got like Liga juifs leaks. Definitely every morning. They eat so snow Ave. Got one of them accident. Games. Now, I see this and hit is not getting accordingly to the car. I get in very quiet because you know, I'm a bit. So when I sit down sit down har-, so acid them light as a feather, not as I don't want to upset his traction. So I sit in light is a fed lack closed the door gently, you know, at first I go get to seatbelt jacks up. And I wanna give. Okay. Offer him can't be water. I don't even offer me. But I have nothing if you hungry. I sit down like a fed. This is the light. Since my mother put me in my baby infant pitches when I was three weeks old laid out down to why I'll who's hovering. I was I was actually on point on my hovering chance. Yeah. Okay. Trunk at this to mount bother levitating like David Copperfield. Just put a prayer. No, it does the same husband does the same quiet. We get in to people that got their shit together. And that weren't raised in fucking barn. Yes. This. Car. Citizen ago. Like, he's a fucking game show home on you. That nigga. Damn gentlemen. He wants to play twenty questions with this nigga all of them have to do with some part of his penis going into. Everyone. I don't feel safe here. Every question he asked this was way. You fuck me. We'll you suck me you. Not what you put my Dicky know, how many gays can get it to a ship. What was the lead? What was the lead? No inside of an asshole Araya. Yes. I right. Yes. Now asshole. To the credit? Yes. To the man's credit? I had built up so many nigga, quiet points. They he. I was naked up. Nigga quiet point sofa every ten nigga, quiet. Get one day. He was running out of time because my nose was inches. So I'm gonna have to move and about. Hitch. We going down. Now, he the guy now to his credit. The guy wasn't good sport. After a while. Like, you know, what I I did my famous come on. Now, don't harass this, man. This is a good fans. Look bad. Stay all the plantations everything, you know, Georgia's a nice man live free right up rated with no problems. Bob Mars, baby old Joan. Paul boss up. Yeah. So now the guys in attain a him the guy, I tell you not did got to a point where it was a quiet at the he asked one of the questions, and the may contemplated. How many nigga quiet points? I had left in reserve. He was at his close the question. He asked to get what it was something about have you ever got something about a glory. Ho have you? Whitcombe whole life. I've never asked a stranger about no glory holes. Punning? I haven't I asked him. I was like are you married? You know? I mean, how many kids do you have how long have you been driving? I go after every one of those questions, you know, dick was involved while you married to dick. Have you had would be. You never ram dick everything. It was an issue. We get destination. Just barely. Okay. And then he went to wit wet with the nigger because they didn't take it right to the damn doorstep. This is untrue. Not. So I said I said, sir is fine said thank you so much give now mind you this was all a my rating. Are you crazy? It was my right. Yes. No, no. It was it was. Because we had a conversation right to our house. Right. And I told him don't ever do that in you. And I can never take an Uber together. That's number one. Because you can't my back three hours a week. But what he's what his listen when you get over with me Jacky felt a little bit of this. Don't ask for gum was that you meet ahead to thing with the gum. Anything who was that that I had a thing with gum with? Where'd he was a Jew? We got a little bit. Anyway. No people ask for I never asked for Sam. I'm never going to get to where I'm going on a chart. I watch my phone died. Yep. Where I say, I don't want. I don't care offering don't charge it. No. I don't have a phone. No water. The whole rask's this man down to the Brown. He gets out the call me and his husband get out the co we gotta heads down. It's a Walker. Shame disney. The thought he made a new best friend. I said the fact that you have not experienced a hate crime Colorado who right now, he's honest was no Rahul by sheme. Was that? I don't know from a town hand. Okay. Okay. No blacks. A nothing. I'm telling you, this guy was he you ever watched that movie assassin, I don't like that kind of stuff. Crashing too chubby shortcake cab patch girl, I don't like that kind of stuff. Which can't be happy. Everybody everybody that Jackie fabulous said on the last episode, so many niggers and been pussy. She got to get a priest put holy water on it. But you don't watch us Asan. Well, you're to delegates. I feel like it. Good nail because she was talking about her number eight lover in her life. I'm hey, who was your number? It's well over three hundred may before which she said what she says. Everybody here. I'm not at three hundred dollars close to two hundred over walk into like, endless pits. No what happens is titans. It's not it doesn't get bigger. No. I never had a baby I'm tired. I'm tired of because the more. You come muscle at flexes soda outsider. I asked I fucked to your same day last week. And one is great. I want to bend your second guy. Plus, he was way that's the guy that showed you the pictures. Clutch my sugar daddy in the morning for three hours. And then I fucked this other guy, and they both know about each other. The second guy knew I got railed all day, and he's like oh be gentle. But you're pussies actually tighter later in the day when you get fucked earlier because the muscles flex shift. I am Mythbusters. How? Type. Only I bow talks my anus. I so it can't show emotion. It's weird because you're crying, but it looks happy. But it looks all right. How many how many chambers you gotta go through and anal at the spacer is at one the first one is the one I heard hangovers, I didn't know about chambers. I didn't know it was a ball. I thought it was for pooping and pork in your mind. Let me just finish the story Orleans New Orleans. What's so funny about new all white man comes that will drive a white, man? He shows up and I have my book, but I have my suitcase everything picked to Gump. Yes. And the. The album nica. Tastic at you know, what? 'cause I I guess I'm open to life. I don't know like the most dumb shit happens to me. And it's almost as people like when you go on stage. You talk about the, oh, this is should I've lived this shit. I've live the fantastic life could. Silence. Someone this silent. Designing women us on. Son has been done. Mouth. What makes you tell us? Right used to be much Sam. On unders. Medicare Medicaid was my sent. And he was no I would say big what happened to be passed. Right. Bending love me. Some he got an Uber. Dove. You know, no. I kept thinking about chilli cheese for we'll guess we'll be. Humby Hedegaard seats. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. Anyway. Yes. So. Oh, man. Yes. He literally looked like Howdy Doody. But like if how duty one hundred right because he had a little hat on you. Remember, I showed you the pitch him to say go ahead like the little he looked like, oh, let's all light. And they go, you know. So I go to open for him to open up the Trump. Okay. He don't step out the car to help me. I guess you're from me a tip if you don't open my get out that that's okay shared drives me crazy on order to as last night. When meeting the lobby, and I'm I will say to myself. I said if I meet this league in the lobby 'cause I pretend Tim I said, I've got an hour to change it to get pissed. But anyway, we wanna meet in a lot of what he was on his way up. So I'll give you a tip because he was gonna come up anyway. But anyway, so now pops I put my own shit. And so I'm I'm already pissed about that heated, but I'm like, he's Olinda. Yes. What overdrive I came into the lobby for what Uber eats? I don't eat. He didn't say. He eats. Oh. Last night. Okay. Okay. All right back story. Jackie don't pay fast. Way. So you we wanted to tease for our. Kinda have chilly weather that a commercial for teas bras now like chillier. I'm afraid too much. I like fries. So the top. So anyway, owning I'm heated, right? So I I go to open the bag. Car right? Soham is the name. I'll to do it like come on. If you had his whole time while I'm sitting put my the back there to open the door. So I'm like up the door. So he rolls the window down and says come up front. Nope. No. Eight. Sorry. No. I'd rather. Not. Thank you. Raim ears, sir. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, wait. He's old white nigga. Yes. Falko ova like a Jehovah witness trying to look through the mail slot at your door gave you home. What the fuck so? It would he say come up front. No bells went off was who's in a corner. Now, he Jackie I swear to God. But I have. If you hold your questions. I feel like I'm visiting. So I get a he says to me, oh, I got stuff in the back of the car and not an I wasn't even paying attention to see looking guy. So I go on sit down. I'm just like, let's go, right. So I put the seat belt on. Now. We gotta go across the hotel is we gotta go across the highway. There's a little opening front hotel to go across the highway when you got clearance, and it go on this way. So we gotta sit there and wait for traffic on both sides of kinda stopped for him. And have an open it. Yes. So why are we sitting there? You know? He's like, oh, I'm so glad I picked you up. And it was too old white women. It was way. He was like I thought it was oh Hindu some shit. Like that. I don't I said what I thought that was strange that. He said that I thought that was trying like that should be your clientele because you oh like, yeah. Y'all go to the club together. Like, they should be talking. So someone I was talking to me. Honey, let me tell you something the minute this nigga put his foot on the gas. To go across we had Clarence. Yes. He took his hands and put it on my up of five. Everybody got started rubbing my fi- up and down up, and it was getting in the crease. Oh, holy shit. I was like lean in. Awfully was like. I didn't know what to do. Because this is this is a part of becoming a victim. Right. Yes. I said nobody's going to believe that this nigger is doing this to me to me. So I tried to like, maybe he's was not a stick shift. So he looking for no gear. So I just kind of Pat his little hands like to let them know on knew he was there, and they kind of like move his hand. So what moved his hands back. No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This is what wait touching. Let me just cut somebody because of the fat. I'm said, okay. Let me just cut the fat of it. Because there's a lot of that could make this so fantastic hilarious story from go the entire time. I was there. He got the whole thing of it. I got it. When I told him, but I'm gonna tell you something to be honest with you when I told him, I tried to make light of it as possible. He was oh, no girl, you have to call a very serious and and to his credit. He told me I still didn't call. It wasn't until I reach oldest story to some hair and makeup people. The women were like did you report him? And I was like, no. And they said, oh, you have to report him because what about the other women that are going to get in his car. And I said, but look at his rating he had people was like, he's a great guy. He's a fun guy. He's a this. He's. What right. Why it makes it? So let me so. Yeah. He starts telling me how he married. This woman who got a gambling problem. I for the level guy. Oh, God, he almost fingers you and then talks about an ex where the mayor's man she lives in. Davis separate bedrooms. She'd rather go to the casino in the hug him. He just he said he'd looked at my breasts, and my hips, and he just felt like he just wanted to nuzzle inside my breasts. He just wanted me to hold him and hug him and smush him and all this other shit. And so me why hands still and and and I'm like there was no way we turn the heat down, mama, China, right? Because I got a hot with China. So I'm like my China's hat for him. But I just got a warm puss. So I'm like. Is this happened? Because I always am always warning. And it's always a temp like when it's cold you can put your hands right there. I'm wet all day Akwa duck down there. I'm marina. When it was acclimated. I live with my mom defense mechanism when you this is actually true when you're getting sexually assaulted or attacked your defense mechanism is your body gets like puts out lubricant to be like, let's make this quick and fast. Yes. Erection when it shouldn't be happening. But you can well Honey is so I'm like he hit another regions in like how when was this? Why was this girl? Listen, I crease that's not plus well, you gotta remember he up and down in the crease now. So here's the thing. The the plan may lie ahead a minute. Likes this in my head a baby that was breekt and the baby was coming out his his hands was about mid calf baby calf to Toews away from where my vagina was. He's saying tickling. Okay. Gotcha. I got it. Okay. Yes. Right. If the baby was coming out at mid calf. Yeah. Could he pulled the string? He coulda pulled strings. No. You got some big ass. You can't get in here on this. I gotta spread meshing. But y'all why don't start the middle your shit. Yo you pussies tap on pubic mound that area. But I didn't know I didn't know this was biology. Just like, oh, you met the Cuba. Right goal to make it touch me. All the dog all wrong wrong wrong. Gone pause. Oh, wait. Hold on. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. We gotta do because this so much get to the money area. Get they wanna hit because wait, wait, wait meeting with me is in that area. Right. Then let me show you on my size. Now. Let me I I had to see hit. A minute handle by down since September. What you forget what you pussy. That's why I use before. So now, he's telling me about this lady. Here the gambling problem everything like that. He wanna hug me want me to smush him. What me to caress him my breasts thing, I said, okay. I said, yeah. Wow. I hear you. You know, he said, well, I want your phone number. Can I call you sometimes now, of course, I don't want him to call. Yeah. I said, but what can I say the nigga is in front with him? He got control the wheel. Yeah. Yeah. Let's finish a ride. So he's also very old and frail. Well, I was trying to turn my recording wrong. But you know, I was scared because I'm like sometimes you turn the recorder. It'd be Mickey with some time, right? Boobs that. And you know, so I I I'm not even recording at this point when I'm desperately trying to I don't know if he's deaf. You know, because he, oh, maybe maybe it's Easter work. Yeah. It's definitely as is his fingers is working. Yeah. So my gone. So so now so now, I'm we see a hop. I see the I I ha-. Yeah. At it's to the point where I'm like, I let me just get out here. And I just I just finished a red. Let me so he's like I'll take you up in because you could put me he said, I'll take crosses will thing. My Hague odd drive you in this it what does we'll take you out of your way. Because you gotta go this way. He said, no, no, no. I take you there. So he takes me into the thing. And now, I'm like oh shit. I gotta get my bag out the back of the thing. So I can't even just make a slapdash a quick thing. Yeah. So he he goes. I want to go in there. I wanna have a God's sakes by the food which you zoster as so I said, oh, no, my a semi friend is in there waiting for me. I wish I could. And he said, well, we wanna call me. I say, yeah. You know, I took it. Nobody I'm a call yesterday do such. And you know, we know I've also got the part I told me on this. He said me he says, you know, what? Uber doesn't like it. When drivers Fratton is with the ri- Sanger fun knives. The fans. I like it when you finger to passengers on the groom me he wanted me because he said he knew a bad rating was coming bail. AL John the sushi last night. So I know. So he said, so he tried to pull him a harsher. And that's what told me. I don't want him to lose his job. I feel bad because he was like, you know, you get instant sentiment. I said if I say, you know, I felt so bad because he was he wasn't he right? I remember Yami vibe he wasn't. He didn't come across as like a truly nefarious person. He was kind of like an old with boundary issues wholesome, maybe a little cognitively compromised. Yes, ma'am. Because didn't he sing at you? I'll wait you. I was surprised with. I'm sorry here becomes okay? I go to get out the car thinking this is. Yeah, he had unlocked when he unlocked the door. I couldn't just make a dash because I get my my bags thing. Yeah. When I told him he cannot go in have dinner with me. He have a friend waiting here. I'm about to step out the car. Yes. He locks the door, ma'am. Yeah. And I remember I heard that lock. And I was like this is it. I'm going to ask me to suck. His dick. Yeah. That may try and I'm a half to suck it buying it on. I don't know what I'm a charge him at least three hundred. Gonna turn a price and I'll have to. I hop in this I yeah. Okay. And he goes I want you to look me in the eye. Because I'm about to start singing. Hello vowel retrea to you. He said this song that comes to my mind. Let me see because I never get to. I never had the words. I gotta get the words. This is he says. I hope you know, this is the limbo. I live in. This is your hell. This is my hell every day. She'll call me she'll be like I was going to call you about this. But let me look it up. And I believe I believe this is the song because so horse in my living room. Wait a minute. I'll call you back. He said is I've only been three concerts in my life. They both been for Conway Twitty. And he's a kind of is a legend. I know he looks me. He said. In the. Yeah. Today. I heard my woman says something I've never heard her say before dreaming. She just told me that she was going to leave me and that she did love me anymore. And then to gets a touch of the may a woman. Then tell me you don't love me in a moment. I'm not. Hi, how is the first? Hold on a special kind of way. Under the table would make it when it's no he told me to look him in the eye tire time. I was like, please. Can I actually can I suck your? I love. He's like, we don't woman is. Because it's some about a woman's touch with a wall is a song. We okay. So she made us, wait. Yes. She looked it up and still sing it at us for three minutes. Minimum. Right. This might not be the song. What was on? But this is what is like. Oh, I think it was that made you woman. This is it. Let's Matt get ready for the license. Okay. Hold on. It was actually Kenny Rogers. I get confused. You. Shania Twain, I was drunk. Like, you ask me I got sexual harassment Luebbe to this song. Not even song Conway Twitty mind. You the saw was caught was saying some traffic by a nickname. Bob. Nickname Bob almost sexually assaulted me. An Uber the Conway Twitty. So the next time you get into over try to act like they give you a four star rating. You give them a three. Unbelievable. And that's hard to four K. Jahmai Nico is. He's made you a woman a ninety nine year old white mega New Orleans and Oba sing I made you woman, and he assaulted us in a lot of. But I said what gave you don't make me? Some pancakes is going to be a problem. On. Hello this year. I called him. I was texting him while it was happening. So what happened? I have to say. Say the whole song while a few versus it was it got to the point where it was like, I think this nigga started forgetting the lyric. All right plan. All. Karen, home, Alabama re-met. Gilligan's island. They. This fellow. Like a three song. He where he'd been into song. I I said to him. I said thank you very much. Thank you. I did. Yeah. And I said I wish you could come in. But my friend. He's just waiting for me. And all I gotta get my bag. But as soon as I get to New York. Yeah. I'm gonna call you advice for you. I wait. My husband always say you gotta husband waiting sometimes it works. Sometimes it sometimes husband will throw them into a quick Ray. Yup. You don't wanna so you don't wanna you? Just let them know. Hey, it's the same thing. We do is black people when we around white people trying to get in our way, you know, sorry officer. I would just go into Modell's. Is more deals open? Right. We always pay who've cars this boy, it is your car. Oh, no. I bought it from grandma mall me don't had no money without my grandma. I could not believe it. Hi, I assert. I reassert. I is fuck. That's why I reiterate. I'm not here. Oh. Ubad credit? They did not one of the things. I thought was weird is they didn't they couldn't tell me what the results would be of this. I guess for privacy is your short never can they can credit. You get money, man. No what happened. But they took it very like someone reached. I didn't even know what it was somebody that read out to you on a phone on Uber. Somebody called me, and I talked to and I told him in the letter. I said the reason why it took me so long is because he's an old, man. And I really even though I was uncomfortable. I was concerned he would lose his livelihood. And I don't know if he doesn't have retirement or somebody to take care of him. So nice back about that. I thought about when I really thought about like I was fortunate. What I told them. What prompted me is. Thank god. I have good people in my life. Yeah. Like may Ron cat nine lives. Beijing you use. About five of them. Don't believe. Going to renew it. You gotta renewable is things happen to you. It's a lot, but it was a thankful that he must have a plan. 'cause I'm like, I could have been gone Jesus. Thank you so much store. God. You are storyteller. What I can tell she wore. I think because I think like low key guy be like, I wanna hear hotel this. I think I'm gonna kill you through just like they're women timelessly that have been assaulted and they're fucking boring when they retire pry everything. He just didn't there pay. Kuma? That's what I gotta check. The after Kris. Thing if you're gonna have a run on you. I want to hear the story over list bitches getting raped who. Heck, I actually getting oh while we, but you know, but honestly may Ron did tell me he was like right away. You should for the other women. And that's what I said. If if it was just me I said, but I couldn't sleep at night thinking about those other women, and I and I'm mad at I waited so long to days was too long. So like what you did long as you all in that. And we have to like, you know, I'm fortunate that like in the traumas that I've experienced in my life. I have been able to laugh at them. And I understand that. There are some people that cannot. So I appreciate that. We all we we bring levity to what we can. And we go through what we go through. But like should Israel out here people are being assaulted. They're being kidnapped people being raped molested and abused and heard discriminated against. Hey crumbs like we we don't live in such a peaceful time. But we try to find as much peace as we can in our environments, you know, but we we also have to always think like, yeah, there's not a bunch of people running around murdering people in. Uber's However I have. I've had girlfriends of mine one comic who told me about a situation where she was just trying to get to LAX. And the guy was seeming like he was crazy. There's a reason why when I go to LA I would prefer to rent a car and drive myself around. I preferred car wherever I go and not 'cause listen something could happen in New York City for sure, but so much she's going on here it the the the odds are are low. But the is going his somebody they're going to hit somebody. So we have to be cognizant of is anything you want to say 'cause he was spin so quiet and just kind of camera holding. On the side. You know? Yeah. Let them back to me. I love when he smiles he curls his little lip up on the side. He's so cute. He's love you. All yes. We, you know, this was I feel like we covered so many topics. Except for the except for any of the plan on talking about this hard today. I before tell us six time, I remember t- ninety I want to talk about I remember an hour and thirteen minutes ago. Yama nica said I need five minutes to talk about this one thing. Her low dog of this and. Mission comment. Right. Thanks to land. That mad like this is every week. We weren't trip is complete. We told you. I'm going comedy five stars in. Per three dollars. Somebody said yet that keep everybody wanted to warn one girl one girl. Run say Conway Twitty at her funeral Conway, Twitty sucks. Not one too. Because the first one was the wrong suck I'm saying on leaving here with is cheese fries. No shit, and I was gonna take a cut home. But I guess I'm walking by. Favorite? Lifetime day. Just nice. You ask for headsets another sitting on the floor a lot a lot of things. Ally. Trying to put those Jesus. All right. Hold on. Wait a minute. I'm here would. So mean about high? You know, what it's like you eat a little candy in the morning. I'll tell you what I did before. I got here. I have a fifteen year old dog who. Has about control problem in. So I needed to wash her because she smelled like the end of days. I took her and I put her in the bathtub, and I hope her and I washed her and I screamed her with. Did I was in never use your bleached it? I believe. One point I was trying to express her anal glands. And. I was finger think nude in a bathtub fingering, a fifteen year old soft coated wheaten terrier, and whereas my life hired me REU story. That's why pay people. That's why she's on Netflix. She ready actually reading she's not paying attention ever. And all I always pay. Thinking about cheese fries are twenty as you gotta come back. 'cause they always like, I'm not paying to them listening heard me. Yes. Sometimes the weird thing. He's experiences. I'll hear something. And I won't even respond to another ten minutes. Let's call back eight and said, I gotta call said something yesterday. Remember, you would choose negative. Experience. Later that. So she is if you late show report you late back two thousand dollars a month approximately Uber. Why don't you buy car? I think you kinda grow when these own, oh, no, man. I was a lot of money, but you probably sure you don't wanna own a car here. The problem is I don't think I could have the nerve to drive here. My my road, anxiety LA. You can't drive here. All let me tell you something I have to keep the air conditioner on in the windows up. Mount of cursing that I'm doing 'cause they let anybody comes all you gotta do have a plane ticket America you can come from Bangladesh. We're likely to get till driving our own car. Ramilo, you know. Shooting. What is not a racist? Right. It's a realistic rant. And trust me. This plenty of Americans who fucking Donata drive. But what I'm talking about people who don't want to bring the rule they'd be bringing the rules where to fuck. They drive. America. Like, I don't know what they do in Guadalajara, but he on Sunset Boulevard, we stopping stopping at lights. And and you know, what I'm saying is sigma linen shit. Yeah. Pick nick. Lane. If you were in the fast lane, going ten miles an hour. Everybody your family needs to disappear for week grew. You have an appointment. The who this whole thing was supposed to be over forty five minutes ago. And now, you're attacking the deli franchise if felt a flooded people of Angola DeShaun, but my before before it's so easy to become racist behind the wheel of a car. It's very easy to become racing because you instantly. You don't know nothing about that person. You just start picking shit. You should drive even your you have road rage. You you should drive your own car. You should also ask your Uber driver to say your name, it you just to hear them suck it up. That nickname nickname Newburgh. Remember? Well, I hope you did. Remember, you wish should, hey. Remember it leash. Chek what what's going to be my name my baby Shak? One. Only that your name. Her name is enough. What do you know what? My name originally was for my baby, I'm gonna have God willing. I was going to name it in the Gotcha. No, okay. Vomit alphabet soup family, a racial epithet hiring on a keyboard. And I had my fingers off one on home row and typed out this word, and it wasn't a. Gotcha. And I was like oh that sounds. Wrath. Error area. Does make shut it down. Oh. My name. Bangladesh. Doc. Mike off everybody's Mike off. Wendy, starling. Where can we find you? And what do you have going on follow me on Instagram at Wendy bird, eighty two? And then I perform I post my shows there the next glamour puss, which if you're. What I do as a great twenty-seven. If you're in town. Becky, I wanna be to it. You're on April twenty seventh. Yeah. Come into it. Tickets are fair. But yet go there go to my podcast pussy for gang. We have to change the name one because legal things I'm fucking do again with these men people own it. Yeah. We just changed the name to something of noxious girl. Pussy far gang Cuiv. Jackie. The I got so many questions really want. Shitty fries questions. Go to Jackie fabulous dot com to get to know me and may twenty eighth to an end for the premiere of America's got talent. I addition I might be on it that we don't know. But you watch c- nerve wracking for me because she can't tell us 'cause I note, he's gag orders. Yeah. Bitch, you're going to tell me. I audition wore a cute outfit. It's no pitch. You you auditions right or do they put in a gang condition? Oh, so you don't happen here. Yeah. So the audience, but what dad? Dad, so negative gag orders. We say Dan word going on habitual posted on they said you posted at you want Bishen and pictures of you had your I did all that you can tell the whole world that you audition. I vision you seem like he was the type of person that audition that was asked a bunch of questions. They was like lady. No one it's time to before doing. She didn't advance. Let me tell you something people get kicked off shit. And then they're like let me tell you about this show. I got. Plug no shit. You got fucking act. They made a plug the premier day. The Apollo and I didn't tell nobody that show existed. Right after the fact. How we gonna Pala one Apollo thirteen. Hi, I'm at Miron X Twitter on them, Iran on Instagram. I have different names on every platform because I'm an old and. But I'm a good friend of the show, New York, and I perform all the time you should come and see me, and I don't care. What goes in my mouth? This has been an two weeks. Okay. Got you know, we'll talk about inappropriate questions at the wrong time. Came out to you girl. I do I I'm here almost weekly. Yes. Yes. You know? I mean. We low key is going to have him be the co host. I'm not doing that. But I don't wanna tie on. Five months ago getting back on my. So I am. Thank you. I love you. I love you to my love. I'm Jackie I'm getting to know you. But I feel like it will be love there at some point. In christ. Yes. My sister family you and my sister. I'm a sister in Christ. And absolutely. You don't want to try. But. I love you. I do you think you let me be a part of the documentary. I can't wait to see it. Did it? I was just it was such a great time. Such a great conversation. Wonderful girl. Oh, you both dinner Jackie. You can have any time before you go. But I didn't because I can't do it today. But I want us to do it. When I when I come back. Yes. Because I get to make a target run. I'm so excited. I wanna make you a stew and a whole thing. It's gonna be great. He looked like that. I love it. It's to the point where they now, Matt. And I love you too. He's doing the corner. Like, an Uber. Driver might kill somebody. I tell you guys this every other week. Go hug a black woman. Please do.

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